#i am not 42 u piece of shit

[remedyturtles]

for the writing ask meme: disaster twins bc i am nothing if not predictable aaaaand ur pick of 8, 22, 29 or 42 if u would like :3

thank you my dearest russothy @rbtlvr for the prompt! this got away from me and also went in so many different directions lmao... snugs hope you like it :D

wordcount 2.7k, pre-series

22. "...you knew?"  29. "Tell me the truth."

"I've definitely got a unicorn horn." Leo said, holding up the puzzle piece. 

"Which one?" Donnie propped up the box lid. 

The two inspected, comparing the angle with the reference, covered in a multitude of unicorns.

"Hard to tell." Leo set the piece aside, with his other collection of possible key points. They'd only just finished the border, spread out the bedroom floor. They were twelve years old. They were both grounded. They were absolutely and intolerably bored. 

No TV. No phones. No lab time for Donnie, no skateboarding time for Leo. No amount of pleading with Raph or Mikey to smuggle them entertainment worked because they weren't happy either.

So it was the unicorn puzzle. And any other way they could pass the time. 

"It's your turn." Donnie said, flipping over a few middle pieces and sorting them into piles by colour. 

"Sure. Truth or dare." Leo plucked another horn-like piece with a pleased noise and tried to slot it with his first. It didn't fit. 

"Truth." Donnie said, after a moment.

"Wimp."

"I stand by my answer."

"Fine." Leo sighed, annoyed. "You're no fun. What is the last thing you looked up on the internet?"

"Pssh. Something absolutely genius, I'm sure." Donnie said. "But alas, we will never know, as I do not have my phone on me." 

"Hogwash." Leo said, mimicking his voice, "As if your eidetic memory doesn't know. I'm insulted on your own behalf that you would insinuate such a thing."

Donnie mentally ran back through his most recent searches and struggled not to cringe. A victorious smile spread over Leo's face, before he'd even said a word. 

"How'd you know it was going to be something stupid?" Donnie complained, ducking his head to pretend to sort his pieces more intently. 

Leo tapped his lip, milking his success. "Come on. You've got a thousand bookmarks on your computer for all your nerd stuff and overflowing shelves of paper books and manuals. If you need to Google something, then it's the bottom of the barrel questions." 

Donnie mumbled under his breath.

"What's that?" Leo leaned forward over the puzzle, grin growing to shit-eating.

"You heard me." Donnie's face flushed. 

"I'm not sure I did, because I'm pretty sure my genius prodigy Donatello knows exactly how many millimetres are in a centimetre." 

"I was just making sure!" Donnie complained loudly, snapping a hand out to push at Leo's face and shove him back to his side of the puzzle. "It's my turn now, shut up. Truth or dare?"

"Dare." Leo answered, because he always said dare. 

"Shocker." Donnie deadpanned. "Fine. Eat a puzzle piece."

"Okay." Leo picked up the unicorn horn. Before Donnie could stop him, he placed the piece on his tongue, swallowed, and showed a decidedly empty mouth.

"Oh my stars, Leon, I didn't think you'd actually do it." Donnie said, stunned with the heights of his idiocy. 

"You dared me." Leo shrugged. "What did you expect?"

"We needed that!" 

"You cannot pretend this is my fault. You literally just told me to eat it." 

"I hate you. Alright, Curious George, it's your turn." 

Leo barked a laugh. He rearranged his collection of unicorn horn pieces, forever missing one now, and said, "Truth or dare?"

"Dare." Donnie wasn't a wimp. 

"Bet." Leo hopped up and immediately began digging in a drawer. "Close your eyes. Don't open them until I say so."

Instant regret. So much instant regret. Donnie didn't obey, tense all over, watching Leo with wariness. 

Leo found whatever he was looking for, keeping it behind his back when he turned around, and said, challenging, "Are you switching?"

If Donnie switched to truth, Leo would ask something really awful, and he'd have no choice but to answer as penalty. So Donnie scoffed, like that was a ridiculous question, and shut his eyes. 

Leo’s footsteps got closer and he sat in front of Donnie. He said, calm and mischievous, “I’m going to touch your face.”

With the warning, he didn’t flinch when Leo carefully removed his mask, placing it in Donnie’s hand. Then there was the sound of an uncapped pen, and a whiff of marker. 

“Hold still.” Leo said, fingers bracing Donnie’s head and setting the marker tip to his face, waiting a moment for him to adjust, then began to draw.

“Urgh.” Donnie said, holding still beyond his fingers fidgeting in his lap with the mask, eyes closed but recognizing the movement of the pen in two arcs over either eye. 

“There.” Leo said, removing the pen. “We match.”

Donnie opened his eyes to see Leo directly in front of him, something warm and fond before it eased back into gremlin mischief. “Feel beautiful?”

Donnie got up and looked at himself in the mirror. Dark red marker stripes were drawn carefully over his eyes, matching at the face grinning behind him. 

He rolled his eyes. He stomped over to the same drawer and said, “Truth or dare?”

“Dare.” Leo said, already taking off his mask. 

Donnie found the black marker. “Close your eyes.”

Obediently, Leo shut his eyes, grinning too hard that it caused his forehead to wrinkle while Donnie moved his head around to get the perfect sharp and thick eyebrows. He put genuine effort into making them look good, because Leo had too. 

“Done.” Donnie said, releasing his hostage of Leo’s head.

Leo leapt up to the mirror and gave a wolf whistle. “Damn! That’s not bad.”

“I didn’t come here to fuck around.” Donnie replied. Looking at both of them in the mirror he wished he had his phone so he could get a picture. He flashed a peace sign anyway, like they were taking a selfie, and Leo automatically mimicked it. For a moment, he forgot the situation and grinned back at his twin through the mirror. 

Then he remembered why they were stuck in a room doing puzzles and dropped the peace sign, shuffling down to sort through the stacks. Leo watched him, the small frown made quite more serious by his impressive brows, then hopped over the half assembled puzzle to his side. “My turn?”

It was an invitation to stop, if Donnie wasn’t feeling it anymore. But it wasn’t like they had anything better to do. “Truth.”

"Do you regret it?" 

Donnie glared at him. 

Leo stared back at him, completely serious. 

"I'm switching. Dare." Donnie said. Whatever horrible thing Leo could concoct would be better than answering that. Even if it meant he had to do it, no matter what. 

"Fine." Leo shrugged. "I dare you to tell me the truth."

"That's cheating." Donnie lifted his lip in a sneer.

"Is it?" Leo challenged. There wasn't a specific rule against it. 

Donnie didn't answer him, turning to try and poke his various pieces together. Neither of them spoke for a while. The tense atmosphere reigned. 

"I regret that I got caught." Donnie said, eventually. "Which probably isn't what I'm supposed to feel." 

"So you'd do it again, if you felt you couldn't get caught?" Leo prompted, knuckles white in his lap. 

"Only one question. Your turn. Truth or dare." 

"Dare."

"I dare you to answer a truth." Donnie said, sharp. 

Leo's eyes narrowed. He couldn't claim it was cheating without being a hypocrite and he knew it. He rolled out a slow, "Fine. Ask."

"Why'd you take the fall with me?" Donnie was been dying to ask. Leo hadn't even known what Donnie was up to, and yet he stood in front of Dad and swore he'd been helping. 

Leo said, "Pssh, I thought you were gonna ask something hard. So you weren't grounded alone, obviously. And it'd be so boring if I couldn't hang out with you anyway. And so I could bug you about what the hell you were thinking. So. Truth or dare?"

Donnie would eat every piece of this puzzle if he didn't have to answer another truth. "Dare." 

"Wimp." Leo said, shark-grin. 

"Your standards for cowardice seem to change from moment to moment." Donnie said, mouth dry. 

Leo could easily pull the same move and insist he answer a truth, but with the tit-for-tat complete, to abuse the power would break the game. "It's fine. This one'll be real easy," his gaze hardened, "especially since it's what you should've been doing all along. I dare you to take me with you next time."

Donnie exhaled slowly through his nose, swallowing. He avoided Leo's eye, pretending he was super interested in placing his puzzle pieces. "Fine." 

"Promise?"

"Yeah, whatever."

He could feel Leo staring at the top of his head. He irritatedly poked a piece in place, the leg of a unicorn, and asked, "Truth or dare?"

"I'll do truth if you do." Leo bargained. 

A rare offer. Despite his annoyance, he couldn't help but take the bait. "Deal."

"Perfect. Hit me." 

Donnie could tell Leo was already formulating his next question. Unfortunately for him, Donnie got to ask first. "Tell me something you've never told anyone."

Leo grimaced. He didn’t answer for a long minute, eyes visibly ticking back and forth as he thought.  Then laughed, a little nervous, and said, "Alright. Okay." 

The nerves were interesting. Donnie poked, almost fascinated, "Scared?"

"No, I just –" Leo bit his lip and glanced up, fidgeting with a bunch of sky pieces. He was definitely nervous, breath quickening. "I've wanted to say, actually. So this seems as good a moment as any."

Oh, this was actually serious. Weird. Made weirder by the drawn-on brows. Donnie waited for more information before assuming anything. Leo delayed longer, killing time, and only to falter at Donnie's expression. 

"It's uh, not a big deal, but. I figured I should … tell you. That. I'm gay." Leo held his breath at the end of the sentence.

"Right." Donnie nodded. 

Leo blinked at him like an owl. "... you knew?"

"I… figured." Donnie evaluated the situation and determined a different reaction was needed, judging by the clear anxiety of Leo's face. This hadn't been what Donnie was expecting, because why would Leo be nervous about his reaction. "I did not consider it worth a second thought. You are my twin. There is nothing about you that I wouldn't accept without question."

"Oh. Okay." Leo inhaled shakily then let it out slowly. "Cool. That's cool. Don't tell anyone else yet, okay?"

"Like you even have to ask." Donnie scoffed. There was a code about these sorts of things, after all, twelve years in the making. He wasn't about to break their sacred bond now. "Do you need a hug?"

Leo crawled directly over the puzzle to climb into Donnie's arms. He squeezed so hard it squashed the air out of his lungs. He mumbled in Donnie's ear, "Thanks."

"I love you. If anyone has a problem with it, send them directly to me." Donnie's grip tightened to the point of Leo letting out an 'oof' too. 

"Love you too." Leo gave another squish then pulled back, a puzzle piece stuck to his bare leg. "Your turn."

"Now?" Donnie complained. "After we just had a moment?"

"And we're about to have another moment, bucko." Leo was close enough to poke Donnie directly in the plastron, pretending to be stern even as he was still a little shaky. "Your turn."

"Truth." Donnie sighed, fulfilling his end of the bargain. 

"Why'd you do it?" Leo asked, immediate. All young indignation, eyes shining with left-behind hurt, and a more incandescent worry that was mirrored in all the annoyed glares outside their door. 

“Scoff.” Donnie avoided his eye. “Surely you do not need to hold me at metaphorical gunpoint to ask that question when you already know the answer. I wanted uranium.”

"That's not why you did it." Leo said, expression all the more severe by the painted brows. He insistently poked Donnie in the middle of his plastron again. "I know you didn't want uranium just to have. There's always a purpose, a plan. Why?" 

"Multiple uses." Donnie said, tightly, through clenched teeth. "It doesn't matter. No one wants me to have it because they think I'll give myself radiation poisoning. Because it'll put me on a watch list. Because when I tried to sneak out and meet up with a seller I got caught. So it doesn't matter, because obviously no one here is going to let me."

"You're right about that, because you will give yourself radiation poisoning and sneaking off when you're a twelve-year-old mutant to meet up with some sketchy seller was a terrible idea. That's still not what I'm asking. Why?" Leo said, because despite pretending for everyone else that he was in on it the whole time, he was actually just as opposed as the rest of them at his failed scheme.

Donnie physically pushed Leo away, since he was still so close. "It doesn't matter! Okay! I can't do it, so it doesn't matter!"

"It matters to me. Because I'm asking." Leo insisted, hands braced backwards onto the puzzle and separating out the few pieces they'd gotten together. "It's truth, you have to answer."

"I could switch to dare." Donnie said, annoyed.

"Then I'd dare you to tell me the truth."

"That's cheap and you know it."

Leo just stared at him, still leaning back and waiting. Completely dead set and expectant that Donnie would crack. 

"There's nothing more to say." Donnie said, swallowing and feeling how his throat was sore. "I have projects that only a radioactive isotope can satisfy."

"Okay?" Leo prompted. Waiting for the expected info-dump. 

"Why do you care?" Donnie snapped. "Weapons. Big, powerful weapons, that would obliterate anyone who dared mess with our family. And – a-and unlimited power. And heat. For our home. Okay? Are you happy? Because we don't to have those things anyway, so it doesn't matter."

Grim triumph washed over Leo's expression, and he leaned forward to ask, "Do you think we'd want that at the expense of your life?"

"I wasn't going to die!" Donnie exclaimed. "And if I have the power to make our lives better, safer, more efficient, shouldn't I take it? Shouldn't I push the laws of the universe to give us everything we deserve when we're trapped underground like rats?"

"That stuff is pretty important, but it's not more important than you." Leo said, slowly. 

Donnie smacked his hand against the floor and blurted, "That's what I'm good for, so yeah, it is!"

Leo's expression flashed and he gave a low growl. He lunged forward and caught Donnie in a roll, sending the two of them tussling into the dresser. A loud thud made the wall shake. Donnie kicked Leo in the shins. Leo elbowed Donnie in the solar plexus. 

"Boys!" Splinter knocked loudly on the door. "No killing each other!"

"Yes Dad!" Donnie and Leo recited together, stalled mid-fight, waiting for the footsteps to disappear before struggling apart.

"What was that for?" Donnie rubbed his plastron, scowling.

"For basing your self worth on what you provide for this family." Leo straight up threw puzzle pieces at him, scattering unicorn bits all over the carpet. "Don't be ridiculous. You're so much smarter than that. If we only let people in because they're useful then I woulda been kicked out years ago."

"That's not true." Donnie protested. 

"That's not the point." Leo rolled his eyes. "It doesn't matter who's useful or not. You're one of us forever. No take backs. You don't have to superfit the lair with big weapons and make us completely self-sustaining or whatever. Dad only let you start doing upgrades because you were having fun. If you're doing it to earn your place here then I'll burn your lab down."

"It's fun." Donnie said, quickly, because Leo had an affection for fire that should not be tempted. "Fine. I hear you. I will be satisfied with projects that bring me joy and not radiation poisoning. Can we finish this puzzle or did you actually swallow that piece?"

Leo's severe expression melted, and he reached behind Donnie's non-existent ear and revealed the unicorn horn piece flipping over his knuckles. "Looks like you had it rattling around in your big head this whole time."

"Hah. Caught you." Donnie grinned. "If you cheated on that dare now you gotta do one that's twice as bad." 

Leo swore.

[muldermuse]

Naughty List (Gator Tillman X F!Reader)

Gator comes round to reader’s house on Christmas Eve to get his gift.

This is in the two sinners world.

18+ only!! Smut ahead!!! Fic includes sub!Gator, dom!f!reader, oral (f recieving), mentions of wax play and piv sex, teasing language, use of restraints, dry humping, use of underwear as a gag, mentions of spanking with belt, panty kink????, brief aftercare. Reader fucking loves being mean to Gator hahaha I love her (me).

This is the completed version of this lil ficlet. And apologies, I was going to post it on Xmas day but I was too drunk and merry to edit and write. I’m not 100% with this one but it was fun fun fun. Like all the two sinners stuff is. Thank u all for reading and engaging with the series. ❤️ u all.

Ok seeing Gator on Christmas Day is out of the question. He’s spending the day with Glenda and Roy reciting their favourite psalms and thanking the lord for a bountiful Christmas. Glenda goes all out at Christmas, it’s obviously her favourite holiday and she constantly updates her Facebook with pictures of a content looking Roy and an exhausted looking Gator. No doubt, Glenda will have made him a piece of her artwork and bought him some novelty socks. He’ll smile at her and press a kiss to her cheek but you rejoice in the knowledge that thoughts of your Christmas Eve are running through his head. 

[sent at 13:30] You: got your Christmas present at my house. Door will be unlocked for when you finish at 6. I’ll be upstairs 🎁

[received at 13:42] Gator💩🐍: am i on the nice list?

[sent at 13:43] You: no. See you at 6 💋

***

His Christmas present is you- OBVIOUSLY. But it’s a version of you that Gator only really gets when he begs and even then, you don’t always give it him. He asks for this when you eat his ass or when he’s had a week of getting non stop shit from his daddy or Glenda. 

He wants you to turn him on that much his brain switches off.

He wants you to be in control and dominate him. 

You’re wearing a red lace set with garters and pointy red heels. It’s nearly pitch black by the time Gator arrives. You’ve left one lamp lit downstairs to guide him up but, honestly, he knows the layout of your home like the back of his hand. In the bedroom, your curtains are open with the twinkling of outdoor Christmas lights provide occasional flickers that illuminate your white linen bed sheets. A cinnamon candle is glowing by the door and nearly blows out when Gator enters as dramatic as ever. 

You’re sat at the end of the bed waiting for him and you smirk as you take in his expression- seemingly enthralled by your red look. 

“Crawl to me, baby” your voice is low and by the way Gator drops to his knees without hesitation and a look of relief on his face- you already know how tonight is going to go. 

He’s slow in his movement, keeping eye contact with you as he crawls towards your open legs and stopping a few inches from your panties. His eyes are fixed on the damp spot on your red underwear and his shuddering breaths are filling the room. You run your hands through his slicked back hair as you try not to recoil at the unnatural feeling of brushing your nails through hair gel. 

“Y’wanna taste?” He looks up at you with the most love sick eyes you’ve ever seen, he nods slowly as he brushes his tongue over his bottom lip. You grip his hair in your hand as you push him into your panties, “make me cum with my panties still on baby- y��don’t deserve to taste properly just yet”. He groans as he pushes his face further into your pussy. He’s messy with it and you can feel his spit dripping down between your legs. It feels so good and the knowledge that he’s desperate to please you brings you closer and closer to the edge. 

“Take my panties off and make me cum on your tongue Gator, don’t let me down” you throw your head back on the bed as you feel Gator rip your panties down your legs and throw them across the room. He’s that desperate to make you cum he’s moaning into your pussy as he eats you out and you know he’s palming himself over his cargos. Your back arches as you clamp your thighs around Gator’s head and cry out as you cum. 

He’s pressing hot kisses to your thighs as your pussy clenches around nothing, you can feel your breathing begin to regulate again as you come down from your high. Your hand smoothes over his ruffled hair, “that was so good Gator. You did such a good job…good to know you can do something right”. His smile drops at your final sentence. On trembling legs you head over to your closest to get the box that Gator both wants and dreads. The box is full of sex toys, restraints (some crudely made and some from a hidden sex store in town) and things that you’ve seen at a local store and thought could be fun and sexy. Jax has contributed to the box, he bought some candles and teased you for hours by slowly dropping hot wax over your chest whilst fucking you softly. Gator was devastated when he found out and had begged you to do it to him the next day. You weren’t as gentle and he fucking loved it. 

You can hear him kicking off his boots and unzipping his cargos. 

“Did I tell you to get undressed?”

“No but uh- I thought…”

You softly kiss him, tasting the remnants of your cum on his plush lips. “Don’t think baby, I know how hard that can be for you. Just lie on the bed dressed how you are now- hands above your head”. Your voice is authoritative and Gator never wants to disappoint you when he’s in this headspace. 

As soon as his hands are placed at your headboard, you click pink fluffy handcuffs around them and make sure that they are tight. There’s something about the sight of your local Sheriff tied to your bed with novelty pink handcuffs that you love. You’ve taken a picture before and when you really want to fuck with Gator you’ll send it to him when you know he’s working with his daddy. You look at Gator, a silent check in to make sure he’s okay and he replies with a quick nod. He looks fucked out already, his lower face is red from the lace rubbing against it and his usually perfectly placed hair is disheveled. He looks desperate and that’s exactly how he wants it. You retrieve your panties from the floor and sit over Gators clothed cock. 

“D’you really think you’re on the nice list this year baby? Can you tell me anything nice you’ve done for me?” 

You slowly start to grind against his hard cock. When you look down, you can see a wet spot of his pre cum soaking through his cargos. You can feel him thrust up to try and get some friction to his achingly hard cock. You quickly rise so he gets nothing. 

You grip his cheeks so his lips purse out “this isn’t good boy behaviour, Gator”. You inch closer to his face, “if you move again without my permission, you can fucking crawl home to her and fuck your fist to thoughts of me like some pathetic fucking loser”.

“I’m sorry, I won’t do it again, I’m f- I’m so sorry” he can’t think straight. His hands are in tight fists at the top of the bed and the sound of his breath filling the room. In and out. In and out. Probably trying to slow his breathing so he doesn’t cum when you start to grind down on him again. 

The red underwear is quickly pushed towards his face. “Can you smell my cum baby? You were so good at doing that. Y’want another taste?” He nods as the balled up fabric is shoved into his mouth. You watch in awe as his eyes roll back whilst the makeshift gag stifles his moan. Rotating your hips slowly, you start to rock against his hard cock. 

“Y’know when Jenson was round here a few nights ago. He left his belt, he was desperate to get his pants off as soon as he came in the door”. The fabric of Gator’s cargo is beginning to feel damp, you know it’s a mix of his pre cum and your arousal covering his work pants. It feels so good for you so you can imagine Gator’s getting close to cumming. His eyes are locked onto your body, watching your hips steadily swirl against him. “I was thinking I could use his belt on you, maybe could’ve bent you over the bed and used it to spank you”. His eyes screw shut and you can’t help the laugh that slips out. His body is stiff with tension underneath yours. 

“Gator,” you chide, voice high and mocking “are you gonna cum thinking about me using some guys belt on you? Thinkin’ about me punishing you?”. He thrusts up and rather than backing off him you press your pussy harder against him. Rocking your hips back and forth on his cock and hearing him whimper through the lace underwear in his mouth. You lower your lips to his ear as you order him in a whisper to “cum in your pants before I send you back to your girlfriend and daddy”. He thrusts one final time against you and moans loudly as his eyes screw shut. His hands are in tight fists as he pulls off from the headboard and breaks the handcuffs into two pieces. With his now free hand, he pulls your underwear out of his mouth with staggered breath. 

He’s cum in his pants; the already dark fabric now a darker colour around his crotch. His hands are covering his eyes with the broken restraints around his wrists like pink fluffy bracelets. You hear him curse under his breath as his breathing starts to normalise. He’s usually a bit vulnerable when you take control so you’re more affectionate than usual. Normally, after he cums you’re both in a hurry to leave, not wanting to stay in each others vicinity to enjoy the post orgasm bliss. It has to be different when it’s like this and you both silently know it. He sits up on the bed and you get in his lap again, slicking his hair back down and helping him get out of the now broken handcuffs. You press a soft kiss to his forehead and he grips your hip as a wordless thank you. 

Before he leaves, you hand him your panties with the smell of his spit and your orgasm still on the fabric. He smirks as he tucks them into his back pocket. 

On Christmas evening, he sends you a picture of his hard clock with your panties wrapped round it. It immediately turns you on as you can picture the scene. Glenda and Roy will be asleep in their rooms as Gator is fisting his cock with your underwear. His lip will be red from biting with him trying to keep his moans from slipping out. He’ll be thinking of you and it makes you feel fucking great. 

[received at 23:49] Gator🐍💩: [image attached]

[received at 23:49] Gator🐍💩: best Christmas present this year

[kitsu-katsu]

Why c!Wilbur blowing stuff up for shits and giggles as a child makes no sense for his character (and why that would reflect a lot more badly on c!Phil anyways if that were the case):

Warning: c!Phil critical ahead, if you don't like that, skip this post

Now, to those of you that decide to read this: Strap in folks! We've got a lot of ground to cover this from and a ton of quotes ahead!

1) Wilbur’s a pacifist through and through. He always preached words over weapons, only fought when attacked first, wanted to ignore a war until it went away, considered giving up his nation many times, etc. A few examples of quotes to show this thinking:

“Basically, we have such a lower opportunity here that we probably just need to accept the conditions of surrender, just so we can save any more bloodshed, any more destruction on our land. They’ve entrapped our land, they’ve set up bombs on our land, they’ve destroyed all our homes. To stop any more bloodshed, I feel I would be a bad general if I didn’t look for conditions of surrender.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 30:32, 2nd Aug)

“Tommy, we need you alive. Tommy, this isn’t worth it. Tommy, your life is worth more than the revolution.” - (Wilbur’s The Revolution is Coming: 34:57:, 2nd Aug)

“What has made you do everything you’ve done up to this point?” (Quackity)

“That’s a- That’s a big question. Um. I guess it’s just protection for my people. I mean, I- I- I just want to see them thrive, and I want to see them safe.” (Alivebur)

- (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:03:02, 12th Apr)

“Look, do you know how long and how much blood was shed to get L’Manberg to the point it was at? You know what would happen if we manage to get L’Manberg back again? More blood would be shed, and we would be the illegitimate rulers of a nation.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 18:52)

“We don’t win wars with battles and with armour. We win wars with our words, Tommy. We’re starting a revolution, not a war.” - (Wilbur’s The Wall: 4:54, 29th July)

“I’m not a fighter, I’m a writer.” - (Wilbur’s The Wall: 1:48:31, 29th July)

“Fighting is not necessary right now, Tommy.” - (Wilbur’s the election results: 43:42, 22nd Sep)

“Tommy, control yourself. Tommy, control yourself, it’s not worth it. Tommy, do not take your shot! He disrespected me, yes! But we’ve talked about this, Tommy…!” - (Wilbur’s techno and wilbur make cave better: 59:36, 23rd Sep)

2) The reason his thoughts about blowing it all up in Pogtopia even hit as hard, the reason all his allies were so shocked about him going through with it IS his pacifism first mindset (which has only been put second when he’s been attacked first and put in the defensive or in the case of his speech to Quackity after the political debate he genuinely thought, by the previous failure of his philosophy and the war trauma spurred on mainly by the FCR and Eret’s betrayal, that the only way to truly win respect and make a change in the world was through fighting and killing, which he was convinced of but was ultimately always too soft to actually go through with (note how he doesn’t kill anyone in the L’manburg explosion and how in the times during Pogtopia in which he declared he wanted people dead, he got second thoughts, regrets, retracted his statement or protected people with his actions):

“If you want to really help people, you’re gonna need power, Quackity. You can make a movement, you can make a resistance, right, you can go out and you can come back, and they’ll give you a ticker tape parade. They’ll cheer for you in the streets, but you will change nothing.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:05:42, 12th Apr)

“If you have a revolution, everyone will hate you, you will sacrifice everything, and you will lose everything you’ve ever had, but you’ll come back and everything will be changed.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:05:59, 12th Apr)

“And power isn’t gaining from diplomacy, and bureaucracy, and giant courthouses suspended in the sky, blah blah blah. It’s gained from swords, Quackity. It’s gained from blades, it’s gained from steel, iron.” - (Quackity’s Killing My Enemies: 1:06:19, 12th Apr)

“We blow up the entire fucking place to kingdom come. I want no survivors. God help whoever’s caught in the fucking crossfire.” - (Wilbur’s video, Am I The Villain?: 17:52)

“And, I know you’re scared, Tommy, I understand you’re scared. And it’s scary, it’s scary, Tommy, but do you know what? You know what? In a time like this, when a man has nothing to lose, do you know what that means? It means we can do what we want. We have a man on our side who literally rigged our nation with TNT. We can do the same to them. We can rig this festival with TNT. We can kill them all, Tommy. ” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:15:52, 8th Oct)

“Anyone caught in the crossfire is caught in the crossfire. That’s how it goes, you know? - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:41:22, 8th Oct)

“Chat, do I wanna- Chat, do I wanna, do I wanna do it? I’m having second thoughts about the TNT. Chat, I’m having second thoughts about the TNT. Do I wanna kill these people? Seeing that they’re my friends.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 34:09, 16th Oct)

“Tommy, I’m getting second thoughts. These are my friends, I don’t- Do I- I don’t know if I wanna [inaudible].” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 36:17, 16th Oct)

“Just, if you’re gonna kill anyone else, kill me. Don’t kill anyone else here.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:10:53, 16th Oct)

“You sounded like you were gonna murder another person. You sounded like you were gonna go for Niki.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:12:34, 16th Oct)

“Oh, yes, sorry, Niki, you missed that part. I was gonna blow up Manberg, I was gonna completely destroy it in a huge fireball. Look, Niki, come to Pogtopia, you’re safer here. You’re not gonna be hurt by anyone.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:17:59, 16th Oct)

“No you two can escape, I’ll be the… I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be… I’ll be trapped in here…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:27, 17th Oct)

“I don’t, I don’t, I don’t want to kill you two. I don’t want you two to die.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 28:53, 17th Oct)

3) He was inspired by Dream blowing up L’manburg first with Eret’s betrayal during the first revolution. He knew Dream wanted L’manburg out of the picture and had tried it before. It’s why he knew to immediately ask him for TNT, because either way, Dream would benefit from both side’s mutually assured destruction:

“Here’s the plan, right, Dream. Dream is on our side, Dream has TNT, Dream has everything, right. I say we talk to Dream, and we ask him very nicely, very kindly, ‘Dream, give us all the TNT you have’. ” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:12:22, 8th Oct)

“Remember, how he rigged L’Manberg, like ages ago, during the War? And then he detonated the TNT and destroyed the entire thing? We do that again, everyone, we blow up the entire fucking place to kingdom come.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:12:36, 8th Oct)

“The only reason that Dream is working with us, is because of the fact that we are the enemies of his enemies! That’s it! That’s all that joins this!” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:14:35, 8th Oct)

“Dream, let me be your vassal. Dream, I understand you have a lot of TNT, a lot of the ol’ trinitrotoluene in your possession, don’t you? You do! Dream, I want to be your vassal, I want to set this up, I want to rig the city.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:33:27, 8th Oct)

4) Wilbur hesitated a LOT with the detonation, wanted to be stopped, told people his plan in detail and was overall in a deep internal conflict about the whole thing (and didn’t blow it up once to not kill Tommy and Quackity too, this is also the moment in which his suicidal tendencies are the most clear in his lines before the 16th). Ultimately he decided to do it because he was suicidal and deeply suffering from mental health issues, believed himself to be the root of all bad in the server and by extension, L’manburg was too, and by that point his original view for L’manburg had been so twisted by Schlatt anyway that in his POV it’d only be used to hurt more people anyway:

“I- Look, rigging L’Manberg is not gonna help us get it back, I’m aware of that. But sometimes in order to feel comfortable and safe you have to be ready to give up the things that you’re worried you might lose. And in this case, I think I might lose it already.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:17:57, 8th Oct)

“I know there’s a lot of people, Tommy! … I’m not telling you where the button is, man. … Tommy, it’s over that hill, it’s over that hill, right there!” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 28:30, 16th Oct)

“Chat, do I wanna- Chat, do I wanna, do I wanna do it? I’m having second thoughts about the TNT. Chat, I’m having second thoughts about the TNT. Do I wanna kill these people? Seeing that they’re my friends.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 34:09, 16th Oct)

“Tommy, I’m getting second thoughts. These are my friends, I don’t- Do I- I don’t know if I wanna [inaudible].” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 36:17, 16th Oct)

“But this is the opportunity- this is the opportunity. If I don’t blow it up now, when am I gonna blow it up?! When am I gonna blow it up, Tommy? But when do- when do we do-” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 36:30, 16th Oct)

“If I don’t do it now, what happens if this is the only chance I get. Everyone’s in this close situation, I can do some proper damage. Look, this isn’t a- He needs a consequence for his actions, Schlatt does, he can’t just keep being handsome and powerful and strong all the time. He needs, he needs to be put down a peg.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 37:07, 16th Oct)

“I can still call off this whole detonating at the end of the speech, dude. I can call it off.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 38:24, 16th Oct)

“Should I show you where the TNT’s laced? ‘Cause in a, in a last ditch effort, we may need to destroy it by hand, okay? So, under the chair, where Schlatt sits, there’s about twenty pieces, right? And then going under, under the main area here, following this red line, there is TNT all the way, and then it jut- and then it- … It darts up here, and over to the dance floor, but it doesn’t touch the water.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 38:29, 16th Oct)

“I have to light it, I’ve got to light it, I’ve got to light it.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 1:08:17, 16th Oct)

“Yesterday I had the perfect opportunity to blow everything up and finally end it, you know. I had the perfect opportunity to finally blow up everything and end it and just completely save everyone, right, from the tyranny of Schlatt and the tyranny of the existence of Manberg and L’Manberg, right.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 25:17, 17th Oct)

“Explain it to me! Give me a reason! Give me a reason!” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 26:50, 17th Oct)

“Who else is it gonna hurt?! It’s gonna hurt Schlatt, Manberg, and-” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 26:55, 17th Oct)

“Why did I bring- I should have just done it. I’m such a fucking showman. I should have just done it.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:18, 17th Oct)

“No you two can escape, I’ll be the… I’ll- I’ll- I’ll be… I’ll be trapped in here…” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 27:27, 17th Oct)

“I just- I just want to f… I just wanna end it, I wanna end it. I wanna press that button, man.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 28:08, 17th Oct)

“I don’t, I don’t, I don’t want to kill you two. I don’t want you two to die.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 28:53, 17th Oct)

“Ohh, fuck you! Fuck you, man! Why do you make it so hard?! I should have just- I’m such a fucking showman.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 29:29, 17th Oct)

“Tommy, we’ve tried my ideas. I’m willing to listen to you. I’m gonna follow you, Tommy. Whatever you think is gonna be the best way of taking down Schlatt, we’ll do it. We’ve tried my ideas.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 32:01, 17th Oct)

“My L’Manberg. My L’Manberg. As long- As long as I know the button is here… as long as I know. As long as I know the button is here. It’s just not today. I just need to know that it’s there for a fall-back. I need to know it’s there.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 33:46, 17th Oct)

“I’ve been hasty. But the fact that I know it’s there, and I can just stroke my right mouse button, that’s all I need. As long as I know it’s there.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 34:27, 17th Oct)

“You’ve convinced me, I don’t wanna go straight to Plan B, if Plan A fails.” - (Wilbur’s Speedy Stream Festival What festival: 39:02, 17th Oct)

“Look, Tommy, at the end of the day, if this doesn’t go well, I’m gonna blow the place to smithereens. The place will be gone, I’m gonna detonate it and blow it to smithereens, right, if this doesn’t go well. But it will go well…! … ‘Cause it’s literally- there’s no one on Schlatt’s side.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 21:00, 16th Nov)

“But none of them have the same anticipatory love of what they’re doing, unlike us. Everyone on our side is fighting for something we’ve loved, and had for ages, right. That’s why we’re gonna win, and that’s why you shouldn’t be afraid. And yes, the whole place is rigged.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 21:38, 16th Nov)

“I could, I really could, that’s the thing. That’s the bit that I like. It’s the bit that makes me smile the most is the fact that I definitely could.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 26:28, 16th Nov)

“Chekhov’s Gun. Chekhov’s Gun. I’ll be honest with you, chat, I’ve been wondering this whole time if it still works. I’ve been thinking to myself does it still- ‘Cause I fixed it up for today.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:11:36, 16th Nov)

“Phil, I’m always so close to pressing this button, Phil! I have been here, like seven or eight times I have been here… Seven or eight times” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:14:56, 16th Nov)

“Phil, I’ve been here here so many times.” - (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:15:13, 16th Nov)

“I don’t even know if it works anymore, Phil. I don’t even know if the button works. I could, I could… press it, and it might-” (Wilbur’s smithereens: 1:15:29, 16th Nov)

5) The one time anything about Wilbur using TNT while young (and here the age isn't as clearly implied as in Phil's thing, this could very well be more of teen Wilbur than kid Wilbur) is mentioned in the actual text is this one maybe-canon-maybe-not-so-canon-anymore line:

“Tommy, have you heard of TNT duplication? The flying machines that dup TNT? Phil taught me about them. He taught me about them- I’m sure he wouldn’t have taught me them if he knew what I was gonna do with them. But, he did teach me about them. … They were very useful, in this.” - (Wilbur’s The Festival: 11:30, 16th Oct)

Now let’s pretend that headcanon makes any sense and that yeah, Wilbur totally just enjoyed building shit to detonate and said tendency encouraged in childhood just up and carried into adulthood and manifested as him internally going “I must blow up this thing I made because that’s what I do” and let’s pretend that he didn’t have a big ass internal conflict about it.

Ok, so Phil said that Wilbur blew stuff up when little, so he’d have connected it to the button room. Now think for a moment: How does that reflect on Phil as a parent? Let’s forget about everything else for this one moment (and believe me, I’ve got no shortage of stuff to critique c!Phil on in regards to his relation with c!Wilbur) and just focus on this one action. A man freely lets his son use TNT to blow up some random stuff presumably made out of toys. Just a little kid playing with TNT, yup, that’s his boy. And it was to such a degree that the same man just went “Oh yeah! It’s totally the blowing shit up thing!” in a fraction of a second after seeing the button… And then yeah, saw all of the hesitation, the breakdown, the struggle, the wishes to die and impaled him with a sword, but we can go deeper into those aspects in another post

Then Phil tried to make it better by saying to chat that all kids just break stuff apart, more implying that little Wilbur wasn’t actually using explosives which… makes the whole thing even dumber, ngl, because at that point c!Phil is just saying “Oh yeah, he knocked over his lego houses when he was four, so when I saw that button I immediately went ‘Oh, of course! He rigged the place! What an obvious connection!’”. You see what I’m getting at?

TLDR: It doesn’t fit with canon and even if we shove it in with its implications, then c!Phil is just an idiot, whether it be from letting his kid freely play with TNT to such a degree that he deduces where his most drastic measure resulting from trauma and breakdowns is going just by seeing the button OR whether it be from him connecting dots where there are none if he tries to save his skin as a father and just say “Oh yeah, no, who didn’t knock over stuff as a kid, what do you mean?” not realizing that… exactly… who didn’t…. so it wouldn’t connect with the button room at all

[reynie-muldoons]

'The Dance of the Celestial Orb' liveblog!

for real this time lmfao

book and show spoilers below

I'm ✨nervous✨ please let our children be okay

0:10 this Sticky arc hurts me so kuch

1:35 this music is BUMPIN

2:22 I just wanna know how she got under there without the dude seeing her

2:47 "all systems go" for the Improvement.... yikes 😬😬😬

2:55 she didn't wait even 5 seconds after they left, the door was still closing when she popped up 😂 can you imagine if one of them doubled back right at that moment

3:18 they look like the dudes from that veggietales movie, I think it was Esther- the island of perpetual tickling?? Anyone??? 😂😂😂

4:00 Kate vented.......

4:51 "not a rat" yeah no shit

5:07 if not for the suspense, I would be jamming out lmaooo

6:10 Mr. Benedict is looking at the shoreline, is he about to watch Kate dive in???? Because I mean that's where she's gotta be going

6:20 "memory challenges"? Is Rhonda talking about Milligan's amnesia, or has short term memory been affected as well??

6:29 .....thank you for answering so efficiently 😂

6:42 "I buy it. I completely.... buy it." RHONDA THAT'S NOT HELPFUL AHSKSHDJKD

6:56 can you imagine seeing your friend go down in a sub then hours later seeing the sub float up in fucking PIECES

7:06 KATE! KATE! KATE! KATE!

7:06 please let it be reunion time

7:25 oh hello that's a drop

7:38 *to the tune of Bezos I* come on Katie u can do it pave the way put ur back into it

7:51 she craves that mineral

8:06 Sticky, my child

8:20 oh my gosh they went out and LOOKED FOR HER I care them 😭😭😭

8:23 SHE KNEW HIS DREAM SHE KNEW HIS DREAM TELEPATH TELEPATH TELEPATH

8:34 STICKY STOPPPP

8:40 "jumping to conclusions is a failure of character" wow that really is something Curtain would say

8:52 angry Reynie. He is in rare form

8:54 "and you helped put her there!" OOOOOOOH I SCREAMED

9:03 "I shouldn't have yelled" okay but you kinda should have Sticky needs a wake up call

9:06 "dont apologize. I like this side of you." IS THIS THE START OF REYNIE AND CONSTANCE HAVING THE BEST SIBLING RELATIONSHIP

9:22 "if you really cared about me, you'd want me to be happy instead of standing there telling me who I am" oh Sticky my dude I am NOT digging the manipulation

9:36 Reynie pulling out the BFF card!!! Also Reynie digging in his feet because he knows he's right!!!! That's great setup for his arc as a strategist later

9:48 "I'm telling you, Kate's fine." Narrator: Kate was not, in fact, fine.

10:03 "they'll notice." Sticky has made one (1) good point.

10:11 oh dear god are they fingerprinting this bitch

10:19 all this equipment, has no one walked up to the cliff and looked down???

10:23 HAHAHAHA WAIT THEY ACTUALLY HAVEN'T

10:27 "we've been out here all night" that means Kate has been clinging to a cliff by her fingers and toes ALL NIGHT????

11:04 babe I know it's been a long night but maybe wait a second for them to actually leave before you climb back up

11:15 BUCKET NO

11:22 she has to go get it. There's no way someone wouldn't find that shit, it's in plain view

11:37 "WAS"???? WHY ARE WE SAYING WAS????? NO PAST TENSE HERE MILLIGAN'S FINE

11:43 "I only wish we could've known him better" NOOOPE NONONO WE'RE NOT DOING THIS

11:47 Rhonda back at it as the voice of reason!!!!!

11:59 "I have never met a more competent swimmer" throwback to "the baaAAAYYYY"

12:10 MR. BENEDICT'S FACE HAHAHAHA HOLD ON LET ME TAKE A PICTURE IM DYING

12:11 NUMBER TWO, NOT HELPING

12:14 RHONDA'S FACE HAHENDJDKDN

12:33 "we will go rescue him" because of COURSE he would

12:36 Rhonda is his best wingwoman omfg she's so consistent

12:54 MISS PERUMAL??????

12:56 MISS PERUMAL!!!!!!

13:00 SHE KNOWS HE'S RIGHT GAKSHDBDHEKSNND

13:09 "how hard can it be? It's an island!" PFFFFT

13:16 oh SQ baby boy please get out of there

13:25 "I certainly have my own suspicions" he said, looking at SQ why are you looking at SQ like that

13:31 SQ GET OUT OF THERE PLEASE IS2G

13:36 here we fuckin go

13:43 the captions have the f in forest capitalized like it's this special place

13:43 new hc that the Forest is a magical place like pixie hollow

13:57 TWO THINGS: 1. YES stand up for yourself baby!!!! 2. Shepard Quaid? Interesting! I don't think we ever got SQ's full name in the books, I hope TLS made that decision!

14:08 your "father hat"??? Oh my gosh shut the fuck up right there don't even continue

14:16 oh yeah real fuckin cute put on your "steward of this institution hat" and call that a good reason to be a shit person

14:43 "No." GOOD FOR HIMMMM GOOD JOB SQ

15:03 Kate's struggling right by the shore where a certain someone would be returning after a very hard swim, it would be a great time for a meeting wouldn't you think

15:09 KATE THE GREAT

15:11 "THE TRAPESE GODDESS" I WILL REFER TO HER AS NOTHING ELSE

15:26 sorry but that green screen of her falling was kinda funny

15:28 soooooo is someone, a very certain someone, gonna catch her...??????

15:36 YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

15:43 IS THIS IT????@?@?!?

15:46 awww poor baby girl you can tell how tired she is

15:46 just putting this out there- they look so good in frame together

15:46 the actor who plays Milligan is fucking huge in stature so I wasn't sure how that would go but it looks so good

16:00 THE WAY HE'S LOOKING AT HER WITH HIS HAND ON HER SHOULDER I CANT DO THISSSSS

16:20 "keep going." 😭😭😭😭😭

16:23 "you dont understand." Ohhhh I think he does

16:25 "I think I do." What did I tell you, he's got your back babygirl

16:45 I'm so glad she's talking this out, and with Milligan of all people

17:01 it makes so much sense for Kate to feel alone in that situation, and when Kate feels anything less than positive she goes and does something, whatever that something is.

17:05 "So.. I...." "fell off a cliff and nearly died." Thanks for putting things into perspective Milligan

17:05 Milligan is such a good dad stop

17:19 "most of the way" is an understatement LMFAO

17:29 I'm so glad we know the intimate details of Milligan's illustrious swimming abilities 😂 out of all the new things wfrom the show that one wasnt on my radar

17:52 leave it to Milligan to come up with an escape plan off of an island with no water vessel with four kids in tow

18:08 THEYRE SO CUTE 😭😭😭😭

18:08 lowkey I'm super surprised they didnt take this opportunity to have Milligan's arduous swim force his memories out and have the father daughter bonding time they deserve. I hope they give that moment ample time to flesh out.

18:13 BUCKET!!!

18:13 wait that shot is so artsy hold up lmfao

18:13 this looks like someone's photography final hahahaha

18:26 THE TENDER MUSIC STOPPPP 😭😭😭

18:41 Sticky is still on that jumping to conclusions bs he got from Curtain

18:44 WETHERALL'S WIDGET 😭

19:31 "Kate... she's in danger..." NO SHIT SHERLOCK

19:36 "and it's all because of me." Not just because of you but love to see you taking responsibility

19:52 once again I am asking WHY ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT THIS IN THE OPEN

20:26 "Kate. She has changed." "Not really. She's always been who she is." "Her clothes. She changed clothes." PFFFT HAHHAHA they really took a moment of self-reflection and made it so much better

20:55 AYYYYY KATE'S DEPENDENCY ARC CONTINUESSSSS

21:35 yikes yikes yikes

22:16 I love that Mr. Benedict got closure in telling Miss Perumal that her words stuck with him

22:40 the way she just knows Reynie took the position of leader 😭😭

22:54 SHE WROTE HIM A LETTERRR

23:02 "Would it be possible to get this to him?" Ma'am what part of undercover spy don't you get

23:54 it's still really weird that we are now in a position where Reynie is the one who is not trusted and Sticky is the one in Curtain's favor

24:13 and here we see Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues shining through

24:21 "the little things matter. Every minor detail, it all matters!" CALLBACK TO MR. BENEDICT TELLING THE CHILDREN THAT THEY ALL MATTER

24:55 "I can tell with complete accuracy when a person is lying." first of all, no. second of all, I cannot wait for him to talk to Constance.

26:33 why is Mr. Benedict graphically explaining the children's potential trauma so funny to me

26:40 "you're catastrophizing." "Yes. I am. Quite severely. Thank you." WHY IS THIS FUNNY

26:58 MADGE!!!!

27:16 she's so prettyyyyy

27:33 GOOD JOB MADGE!!!!!

27:36 wait did she just take the LETTER??? she's delivering the LETTER?????

28:05 WHAT DOES "OKAY FINE" MEAN??? REYNIE??????

28:22 it's sad because it's true 🥺

28:24 "I miss my teacher from the orphanage" the best lies are the ones rooted in truth 🥺🥺🥺

28:48 roll credits

29:16 Reynie honey Orion's Belt isn't on the ceiling

29:29 the way he was so confident that he had it right 😑 Curtain Stop Being a Pretentious Fuck challenge

29:52 our babygirl is so smartttt

29:55 did Milligan plant his prints 😳 oh no OH NO

29:57 MARTINA???? WHATSUEJHDKD

29:57 is this the replacement for when they pin cheating on her????

30:03 THE KEY CARD!!!!

30:11 MADGEEEE

30:21 "one attacked me as a small child" honey you are a small child

30:24 "it did not win," she said, smiling menacingly

30:40 "so we dance again" WHY DID THE MUSIC REV UP WHEN SHE SAID THAT HAHAHAHA

31:01 ✨woodworking is a passion✨

31:58 "was it functional?" "Well I guess that depends on how you define functionality" RHONDA'S FACE IN THE BACKGROUND HAHAHAHA

32:10 OH HEY MARTINA

32:17 wait 🥺

32:22 that has to be SQ :)

32:28 hi sweet boy

32:34 please tell me they did that shot of the sandwich because Madge is about to take it

32:39 LMFAOOOOO

32:44 hi good girl!!! Enjoy your snackies

32:50 oh god oh no the LETTER

33:25 oh wow we're doing this NOW??

33:52 and here we see another example of Curtain's thinly veiled anger issues bubbling to the surface

34:10 hey what if you uhhh weren't such an asshole

34:33 that man's voice is buttery

34:52 REYNIE'S TRYING TO TELL SQ????

35:02 and they're talking about this right in front of the office door, WHY??

35:24 AND THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT THIS RIGHT IN FRONT OF THE OFFICE DOOR, WHY????

35:55 he's letting him go 🥺🥺🥺🥺

36:14 why does that look like a body bag

36:17 oh my gosh it definitely is a body bag, hey Martina

36:25 yep, that's about what I expected

36:36 "whoever did this to me, they're gonna pay" oh girl do I have some bad news for you

37:12 ahhhh, so Martina is the burnt out gifted kid who keeps going out of spite and sheer force of will

37:12 everything makes much more sense now

37:30 ohhhhh my gosh feelings time

37:44 "I think it's awesome." "Yeah. I know you do." THE SHIPPERS ARE THRIVING

37:54 THEY REALLY WANT TO MAKE THIS AS PAINFUL AS POSSIBLE HUH

38:10 "it's the least I can do" that's an understatement 😬

38:14 AAWWWWW SHKSHSLSBDK

38:20 "I don't know what I'd do without you, Wetherall" STOPPPPP

38:30 HEY BUD UH MAYBE CLOSE YOUR DOOR???

38:38 he's been writing letters to her every night and now he finally gets one back 😭😭

39:34 so Miss Perumal wrote this letter with the intention of it being sent to him, right- why did she write it like that?? 😂

39:34 they've gone to such lengths to communicate in code but the letter kind of undermines that- it was written in such a way that an onlooker would know Reynie was a spy but wouldn't know what he was doing or why. No wonder SQ was pissed

39:41 KATE!!

40:10 BREAKING NEWS: local bastard man treats everyone like shit

40:15 ohhhhh SQ bud please be careful

40:30 "always have time for my son," he said in a clipped voice that implied that he does not have time for his son

40:35 ohhh he's getting RIGHT INTO IT HUH

40:41 you mean to tell me he's never asked about Mr. Curtain's work?? Ever???? Somehow that doesn't seem right to me

40:57 hey uh what if you didn't talk down to SQ at every opportunity

41:02 "would you care to reconsider that answer, son?" "No." DIG THOSE HEELS IN SQ!!!!

41:22 I'm really not digging that Curtain is using the guise of openly expressing his feelings to communicate his anger and his unasked question. Not cool bitch head

41:33 the fact that he didn't answer SQ's spoken question kind of also answers his unspoken question

41:45 "I knew there was something off about that girl. But espionage?" "How do you so convincingly fake a tetherball obsession?" I love that this entire conversation could be about Martina or Kate interchangeably

42:34 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD

42:36 IF IT WAS THAT EASY TO FIND WITH BINOCULARS HOW HAD THEY NOT BEEN SPOTTED UP UNTIL THIS POINT?!!?#? HOW????

43:05 Kate advocating for Martina with the Society 🥺🥺 the interaction I didn't know I needed

43:58 "I definitely don't like to leave anything unfinished." "That's true, I've seen you eat." PFFFFT

44:05 YESS YOU GO STICKY USE YOUR ACCESS FOR PRIME INTEL

44:19 "well, you can't succeed without me, so..." baby girl you have no idea how right you are

44:28 please let that be Milligan PLEASE LET THAT BE MILLIGAN

44:32 YEAAAAAHHHHH

44:35 I simply adore him

44:45 "would you mind helping me down, please? I'm stuck." Your honor I would die for this man

44:54 oh shit, Martina's tryna sleuth it out herself.. this can't end well

45:04 is she about to find Kate's marbles or something?? Callback to the book?

45:26 the absolute MURDER in her eyes

45:31 FUCKIN YIKES

45:41 "the clothes of someone who had given up" ASEJDGEIDNDLFK

45:47 well that's not good

46:00 WELL THAT'S NOT GOOD

46:04 PLEASE let them be on their way already, please

46:14 THEY MADE A BLIMP????

46:17 Goodyear is QUAKING

46:35 why the fuck is Number Two in red, that's upsetting on principle

THEYRE JUST ENDING IT THERE???? goddamnit!!!!

How surreal is it that next week is the finale?? Idk if I'm ready for that????

[sunshinecrashed]

Hii again! Hope you're having a nice day! How about prompt 42 of the clichè prompt list with Tsukasa? I just love this adorable psychopath. OwO

ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴀʟʟ ᴛʜᴀᴛ ᴀ ᴅᴀᴛᴇ?

𝗍𝗌𝗎𝗄𝖺𝗌𝖺 𝗒𝗎𝗀𝗂 𝗑 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋

𝟧𝟢 𝖼𝗅𝗂𝖼𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝗋𝗈𝗉𝖾𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗆𝗉𝗍𝗌, #𝟦𝟤. “𝗂’𝗆 𝗀𝗈𝗂𝗇𝗀 𝗍𝗈 𝗌𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖿𝗋𝗈𝗆 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗍𝖾𝗋𝗋𝗂𝖻𝗅𝖾 𝖽𝖺𝗍𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎’𝗋𝖾 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝗂𝗇𝗀.” 

𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: 𝘁𝗼 𝗽𝘂𝘁 𝗶𝘁 𝘀𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗹𝘆; 𝘁𝘀𝘂𝗸𝗮𝘀𝗮 𝘂𝘀𝗲𝘀 𝘀𝗼𝗺𝗲 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘁𝗼 𝗵𝗲𝗹𝗽 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗲𝘀𝗰𝗮𝗽𝗲 𝗳𝗿𝗼𝗺 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝗵𝗼𝗿𝗿𝗲𝗻𝗱𝗼𝘂𝘀 𝗱𝗮𝘁𝗲. 

word count: ~1.4k

↳ warnings: a rlly self-absorbed classmate, buckets of sarcasm, some cursing, and uhh,,, jumping out of a window,,,,,,,

a/n: i just gotta say this rlly quickly, thank u for being so patient!! i hope ur having a nice day too 🥺💕let me know if there was anything u wanted to change!

⋆──────☆──────⋆

“[Name], I think I really like you! I was wondering if I could take you on a date?” your classmate, Ryou asked you, handing you a small gift box. 

You questioningly cup the box in your hands, your eyes flitting over the wrapping before looking up to meet your admirer. 

“I.. didn’t know you felt this way about me.” you admit. Ryou was someone who you occasionally talked to during class, and he was fairly popular for his status and charming looks. But still, this was so.. sudden?

After a short pause to think, you concluded, “But I wouldn’t mind going on a date to get to know you better. Here,” you scribbled down your number on a scrap piece of paper before handing it to him. “I’ll let you know when I’m free, and we can go from there!” 

“For sure! I’ll talk to you later, cutie!” Ryou flashed you a grin and waved, rounding the corner to go meet up with some friends. 

As you turned away with a bubbly smile, you found yourself almost knocking into a curious Tsukasa. 

“So.. Who was that, [Name]?” 

“Tsukasa!” you jumped. “That’s a classmate of mine. He asked me out on a date, isn’t that exciting?” You playfully twirled around him as he attempted to hold you still.

 “You can’t just go on a date with some random person and not expect me to be.. to be…” He blinked, uncharacteristically trailing off. 

“Tsu..kasa?” 

“Ah, nevermind!” His cheerful demeanor was back in a flash, so quickly that you thought.. maybe you were imagining that out-of-the-blue mood swing? 

While you opened your mouth to question his odd behavior, Tsukasa grabbed your wrist and started to lead you back into the school, hastily changing the subject.

You weren’t given any more time to dwell on his mysterious reaction. 

After a few days of texting back and forth with Ryou, you agreed to meet him at a local coffee shop on the weekend. It was a quaint little place, and despite its limited space, it still had a small second story that made up for the lack of room on the bottom floor. 

You ordered a simple mocha with whipped cream for yourself and sat down at a booth on the top floor. 

‘Okay, he’s a little late..’ you thought to yourself as you peeked at the clock. 

After twenty minutes passed, you narrowed your eyes and stepped out of the booth to promptly leave. ‘..He’s not coming.’

But right as you stood up, you came face-to-face with a Ryou, a relaxed expression on his face.

“Ah, sorry for being late. Something came up that I had to take care of.” He didn’t seem like was in a hurry at all. 

The crease in your brow softened, and you sat back down. “It’s fine, I understand. I wasn’t sure what kind of coffee you liked, so I just got you a simple latte.” 

Ryou made a disgusted face and nudged the cup away from him. “Really? A latte? I’m not a big coffee drinker, you know.” 

‘Then why did you want to bring me to a damn coffee shop‒’

You plastered a calm smile on your face, muting your internal screaming. “O-kay. Then, what do you like to drink instead?” 

“I’m so glad you asked! I’m a great fan of tea. My family actually runs a highly successful business…”

 He droned on, and on, and on, talking about himself and his accomplishments. Or rather, his family’s accomplishments, while throwing in a back-handed compliment to you here and there. 

He didn’t ask you a single question about yourself. When you tried to contribute to the one-sided conversation, he would either cut you off, or wait impatiently for you to finish, before continuing where he left off in his “dramatic” life story. 

An hour hadn’t even passed before you were already thinking, ‘how the hell do I get out of here’. 

While he paused to take a breath, you quickly interjected, “Hey, so, I think you are a pretty nice guy and all, but I don’t think our interests are aligned‒”

“You aren’t trying to ditch me, are you?” 

His sudden question almost gave you whiplash. With your most deadpan expression you stated, “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

Maybe he would finally get the hint‒

“Great! We’re on the same page!” How the hell could someone be so.. dense? 

Ryou’s eyes moved past you as he spotted some school friends.

 “HEY, over here!” He shot up out of his seat with a huge wave, already heading over in their direction. “[Name], could you give me a second here? I need to talk with them about something really quick!” 

You internally sighed with relief. “By all means, take all the time you need.” 

He joked, “You better not be gone by the time I get back! Haha!” 

Once he was a fair distance away, you mumbled under your breath, “And wouldn’t that be tragic..” 

You shoved your face into your hands in exasperation. 

Tap-tap‒ 

Someone’s.. tapping your shoulder? 

As you lift your head up, someone’s hands cover your eyes. 

“Guess who?” a sing-song voice called. 

“Wait.. Tsukasa??” You questioned, confusion riddling your voice. “How the hell did you find me?” 

He took his hands off from your eyes and gave you a sly smile. 

“Well, I followed you, of course. And I,” Tsukasa settled into the booth across from you, “‒am going to save you from this terrible date you’re having.” 

Both of your eyes glittered with mischief.

“I... like the sound of that.” 

A vivacious smile tugged at the corners of your mouth. With a fleeting glance around the room to confirm that your date was still distracted, you leaned across the table to whisper to your favorite ghost. “So, what’s the plan?” you asked. 

“On a scale of one to ten, how.. Ambitious are you willing to be?” 

“A million.”

“Oh,” you could immediately tell that you made the wrong decision, and Tsukasa knew it.

 “Well in that case..!”

. . . . .

“I am not jumping out of a window.” 

“C’mon! It’s not that far of a fall!” Tsukasa pouted. “You did say that you were willing to do anything!” he called from below. 

You were currently looking down at him from the second-story bathroom window. With a bite of your lip, you threw your leg over the side and hung onto the edge of the window frame. “Tsukasa..” 

“And besides,” he continued. “He’s blocking your only other entrance! This is your best bet, [Name], I’m telling you!” 

You pointed a finger at him menacingly. “If you fail to catch me, I’m going to come back as a ghost and knock the shit out of you. You hear me?” 

“Aye-aye captain!” Tsukasa yelled back with a cheeky grin. 

Taking a deep breath, you muttered, “Okay, here we go..” 

“One.. two.. Three‒!”

You shut your eyes as tight as you possibly could and let go of the window frame. 

For a solid couple of seconds, you could hear the wind rushing past your ears as your stomach dropped. 

‘ohfuckohfuckohfuck‒’

And even though it only lasted a moment, you were still surprised when you felt a pair of arms quickly secure around your waist. 

Opening your eyes cautiously, you looked up and met Tsukasa’s wide, golden eyes. He was just as surprised as you were. 

“Hey, you actually caught me!” You cheered and wrapped your arms around Tsukasa’s neck in a make-shift hug. Your warmth enveloped him, and he allowed himself to indulge in it.. just this once. 

He gave you a child-like laugh, “Aww, you don’t trust me? You wound me, [Name].” 

Tsukasa set you down onto your feet, but didn’t quite let go of you yet. You had a beaming expression on your face, and your cheeks were tinted just a little red from the excitement rushing through your veins. 

That’s the expression that made the odd, bubbly feeling grow in his chest.

“Wait,” He started, piercing you with those cat-like eyes, “Shouldn’t I get something in return for saving you?” 

Oh fuck. You should have figured he would sneak up on you with this. He may not look like it, but he really knows how to get what he wants.  

You chuckled, already seeing where this was going. “Oh yeah? And what would that be?” 

“A date, of course!” he brightly exclaimed.

You plucked the hat off of his head and placed it on your own; this time, with a victorious smile.

“You know.. If all of your dates end up like this,” you gestured to how close you two currently were, 

“‒Then I just might have to take you up on that offer.” 

[threecrowsinatrenchcoat]

Paint My Spirit Gold

Dukeceit Week Day 2: Green/Yellow

Fans of the YouTubers "Deceit" and Remus "The Duke" Sanders start to suspect that maybe, just maybe, the two of them are more than simple internet pals.

AO3 Link: [here]

Word Count: 2187

Warnings: n/a

@dukeceitweek <3

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a watercolor-style painting of a snake. The snake appears to be made of melting chocolate, and there is a large bite taken out of its tail. Cherries and jam are leaking out of the snake at the bite wound. The snake's expression of horror is overly-exaggerated to the point of comedy. The caption reads: "liked your snake boi, @SerpenThyme. thanks for the inspo." /end ID]

- 

A notification ding cut Janus off mid-sentence. 

“Wow, someone left their cell phone on, so professional,” he said, giving the camera a dramatic eye roll. That someone was him, of course, because he was the only one in the apartment- just him and the running livestream- but that was no excuse not to be a drama queen about it. He finished wiping flour off his hands and grabbed his phone to silence it; but the notification made him pause. He flicked his eyes up toward the camera and gave a slight smirk.

“My goodness, I’m famous,” he drawled. “The Duke himself has graced little old me with some fan art.”

Most of the comments in the chat wanted him to show it, so Janus opened up Twitter to see the full post he’d been tagged in. It was a watercolor painting of the coiled-snake chocolate sculpture- lovingly named Jake by his viewers- he’d made for his YouTube video last week; it was wearing an expression of such comedic horror that Janus had to stifle a laugh. He flicked his phone screen toward the close-up camera on his counter so his viewers could see.

“How kind of you, Remus,” he said. “All of you should go scold him for what he’s done to poor Jake here.”

Most of his viewers would know he was joking- after all, they were the ones to nickname him Deceit when he provided neither a real or fake name for his online persona. They knew full well what he was like by now.

The oven timer dinged. Janus silenced his phone and set it aside.

“And our first batch of cookies is done. You know, why don’t we show the Duke some appreciation?”

-

[ID: An Instagram post by user @SerpenThyme. The photo is an artistically-framed shot of a stack of sugar cookies with green, yellow, and pink icing. Propped up against the stack is another cookie, with an intricate icing-drawing of an octopus. The photo appears to have been color corrected to have high contrast, low saturation, and a dark vignette at the edges. The Instagram user @OctoDukie is tagged. No caption. /end ID]

- 

“You know, I have often been accused of actually being a little old lady, what with my fondness for knitted jumpers, rocking chairs, and incredibly fucked up murder mystery books. Today I am doing nothing to dispel this accusation, by making soup.”

The studio was dark and empty aside from Remus' workspace. Everyone else had left long ago, even his own brother, which meant that it was officially ass-o'clock in the morning (or, as most people called it, somewhere between 1 and 2 a.m.) But Remus was stuck in hyperfocus, honed in on putting the last touches on a commission that he'd been putting off for weeks. It's not that it was a tough painting- once he'd gotten started, it was actually a very creatively satisfying piece- but man, executive dysfunction could go suck a dick

“French onion soup, specifically. Because while I do like to pretend I am a classy bitch, I am also, regrettably, a lazy bitch with a distaste for anything that takes longer than one bottle of wine to make.”

Remus hated working in silence. It was stifling, almost suffocating. His brain needed noise like his lungs needed air. So when the studio had grown still and silent, Remus had flipped open his laptop and queued up some YouTube videos. 

“So we have here three pounds of onions that we need to slice up, pole to pole. You’re going to cry no matter what, so if you have any memories you’ve been repressing since middle school, now is an excellent time to dredge those up.” 

And if it happened to be 90% SerpenThyme videos, well. Sue him. 

“Now the first rule of caramelizing onions: fast and sloppy is always better than slow and thorough… at least, that’s what every man I’ve ever slept with tells me.”

Remus choked and glanced over to his laptop screen just in time to catch Deceit's trademark smirk directed at the audience just for a moment. It was the deadpan delivery that always got him. Remus could barely hold onto a joke long enough to get through it without cackling mid-punchline, but this fucker could say the funniest shit like an off-hand comment. 

He wiped his hands off on his jeans (what use were clothes if you couldn't use them as paint rags?) and pulled his laptop across the table.  He typed out a quick comment, citing the timestamp of the joke, and after it was posted, he shut his laptop. 

'Cause ass-o'clock was short for "get-your-ass-home-or-I’ll-kick-it" o'clock. 

-

[ID: A screenshot of a YouTube comments section. The first comment is by user TheDuke, and reads: "10:42 wow, rude." The second comment is a reply by user SerpenThyme, and simply reads ";)" /end ID]

-

Janus plopped down on the couch with a slight groan. He didn’t need to stream today, but he really hated missing days. Besides… he was fine. Really. 

He adjusted the camera until he was happy with the framing, and then checked the settings on his streaming software. Satisfied, he started the stream, and watched as his usual viewers rolled in. 

“What do you mean I’m not in my kitchen?” Janus drawled, addressing the chat. He glanced around with an expression of faux-shock on his face. “My goodness, when did that happen?”

He chuckled, and then gestured to his surroundings. “Yes, we are in my living room today. If you must know, my closest and most trusted friend tried to murder me today- yes, Virgil, it was attempted murder and nothing less- and I survived with nary a scratch… and a broken foot, but that is beside the point. Anyway, I’m not allowed to stand for long periods of time, and I may or may not be somewhat inebriated by pain pills and couldn’t stand even if I wanted to. So we are cooking from my couch today.”

Janus paused for a few moments to read the chat messages as they popped up. A few get well soon’s, a few theories about the “attempted murder,” Virgil- who moderated his chat for him- vehemently denying the “attempted murder” but otherwise refusing to clarify the event, and a large volume of wtf why are you streaming today, take care of yourself comments, which made him smile. But one particular comment caught his eye, almost lost amid the torrent of an active chat: wait this kinda looks like the Duke’s living room?

“Oh, VampSuga,” he said, addressing that commenter in particular with a slight smirk. “I haven’t the faintest idea what you’re talking about. Anyway, since I can’t reach my oven from here, I thought some no-bake cookies were in order. For these you will need-”

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Discord conversation. The text reads:

“VampSuga: Ok ok hear me out. Dukeceit. 

Starstruck96: who?

IneffableSnek: lmao

FeralBeauYasha: lol

VampSuga: Deceit and Remus Sanders! They’re totally dating. I will die on this hill. 

FeralBeauYasha: Isn’t the duke w/ PatPat?

IneffableSnek: no thats his brothers bf

FeralBeauYasha: ohh

VampSuga: Did anyone see Deceit’s stream today? I swear that’s the Duke’s livingroom. 

StarStruck96: idk that seems like a stretch

IneffableSnek: no wait i kno what u mean

IneffableSnek: im watching the duke’s old videos and that one where he shows off all his old weapons he’s in a living room kinda like deceit’s 

FeralBeauYasha: They were acting all cute on twitter too

VampSuga: DUKECEIT”  /end ID]

-

"Hey guys, been a while since you've seen my face and not just whatever my hands are busy with, when it's within YouTube's terms and conditions I mean. They used to be way more lenient…" Remus trailed off for a moment, then shook his head sharply and plastered on a grin. 

"Anyway! In June me and a few other creators did a fundraiser for the Trevor Project, and y'all smashed the goal, so I let you decide what video I'd make this month." He paused, and gestured to the mountain of clothes piled behind him on the bed. "And you had so many juicy ideas to choose from, but you decided to dress me up like a Barbie instead."

Remus paused to scroll through his phone for a few moments. "Ah, ok, here we go. Twitter user YoonIsMyCat- oh, BTS, nice- sent in this first outfit. Uh… future Remus, put up the post here somewhere." He gestured vaguely to his right. "Y'all went with either a fuckton more clothes or a fuckton less clothes, which I respect. Apparently this outfit is called…” He squinted at his phone. “Amish chic? I take it back, no respect at all.”

Remus cycled through the outfits his viewers sent in, which ranged from the aforementioned “Amish chic” to “2008 rave attire” to “ok now you guys are just fucking with me” (which consisted of one of those big puffy snow coats, lime green in color; booty shorts with the shrug text emoji across the ass; fuzzy pink boots; and a yellow cowboy hat to top off the whole thing. It was awful. Remus loved it.) The mountain of clothes on the bed gradually became a mess of clothes spread across the floor instead, until there was just one outfit left. 

“Ok so Twitter user VampSuga sent me this outfit that I’m gonna call ‘sexy librarian.’ I couldn’t find this exact sweater online, but-” he paused for dramatic effect, before brandishing a sweater toward the camera like a bullfighter. “My boyfriend had something that was close enough.”

Remus hopped up from the bed and switched off the camera so he could change.

“They’re going to lose their minds,” a voice drawled from the doorway. Remus threw his shirt at him.

“Shoo, I’m getting naked.”

-

[ID: A Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It features a selfie of YouTuber Remus “The Duke” Sanders, a Hispanic man with his hair dyed green and styled into a spiked mohawk. He is wearing a yellow knitted cardigan over a black button-up shirt. He is grinning widely at the camera. The caption reads: “my viewers pick my outfits! now live on youtube. go see what i look like as a sexy librarian!” /end ID]

-

DukeceitStan

first and only dukeceit shipper ig

DukeceitStan

wow there’s so many of you now! Hi!!

DukeceitStan

i want this to be canon so bad omg

DukeceitStan

i mean just look

[image]

how 

[image]

cute

[image]

[ID: A series of three gifs featuring Youtubers SerpenThyme, aka Deceit, and TheDuke, aka Remus Sanders. Deceit is a black man with long, dreadlocked hair, and vitiligo patches along the left side of his face. Remus is a Hispanic man with green-dyed hair styled into a mohawk, many ear and facial piercings, and tattoos covering both arms. Each gif is edited so that the highlights are tinged yellow when Deceit is seen, and tinged green when Remus is seen.

The first gif depicts a close-up shot of Deceit’s hands as he carefully decorates a cookie with green and yellow icing. The cookie art he is working on appears to be a half-finished octopus. The gif then fades into a mid-shot of Remus, with his back to the camera, facing a canvas. The canvas is blank, and Remus appears to be laying out paints on a table to his left. 

The second gif depicts Deceit seated at his couch, facing the camera. He has many ingredients spread across his coffee table (including oats, cocoa powder, and butter) and appears to be in the process of laying out several more. The gif fades to show Remus seated at a similar couch with a similar coffee table in front of him. The camera is angled slightly downward to better show the myriad of knives spread out across the table. Remus is gesturing wildly with a morning star held in his hand. 

The third gif depicts Deceit in his kitchen. He is pulling on a bright, yellow knitted cardigan, and smirking toward the camera. The gif fades to show Remus in his bedroom, seated on his bed. He is holding up a similar-looking cardigan toward the camera and grinning. /end ID]

- 

“Remus, it’s almost two in the morning. Come to bed.”

“I’m coming, sorry. Twitter distracted me.”

“Mm. I can’t believe the bird app is more distracting than I am.”

“You should try harder.”

“Come to bed and maybe I will.”

“Ok, ok, I’m coming. Hang on though, is it cool if I post this?”

“Sure. They figured it out anyway.”

“Sweet. Ok, Jannie, I’m coming.”

-

[ID: A screenshot of a Twitter post by user @CallMeDukie. It reads: “Dukeceit is canon.” /end ID] 

[queerofdenial]

Just to give you a reprieve from the sadness, gimme the even numbers between 34 and 44 for the ask meme. ❤️

*dj khaled voice* ANOTHER ONE!

thank u from the reprieve receiving this ask WAS wonderful even though im a million years late oomf, and

34. Can you read analog clocks?

yes! though sometimes I'm slow as shit. my weird clock thing is usually that i keep everything in 24h time and it annoys my roommate to no end

36. What's an arcade or table game that you’re really good at?

lmao i learned recently that I'm actually piss at arcade games (or maybe just bad at them drunk? it was a terrible date either way) but i do really intensely enjoy them all, especially ping pong and that dance dance revolution thing with the foot squares

38. asked and answered!

40. What's your favorite kind of tree?

this is a wildly random question lmao

but there were a buttload of pine trees in my backyard growing up and i used to pick off the pinecones and sit on the swings and pull them apart as a kid before wiping all of the sticky resin on my sister when she wasn't looking. i guess that's a fun memory so ill say pines!

42. Do you have any games on your phone? If so, which one(s) is/are your favorite?

reading this q actually made me spiral and delete a bunch of unused games that i havent touched in ages so thanks for that bestie! i feel like i go thru games quickly bc i have the attention span of a piece of cheese, but i am consistently going back to Flow and that game where you sort the colored balls into one-color stacks (i have one called sort it 3D but there are like five versions) when i'm not doing happy color

44. What do you do with spare change?

i usually just keep it in a cup on my dresser until i have enough to carry in my pocket in the event i want to pay with cash for something and make even bills on my change. used to have this massive dinosaur shaped piggy bank as a kid and i deposited it when i rememebered it existed in college and used the money to pay the deposit on my study abroad

send me a question just because!

[nissakii]

Scent. a Haikyuu!! Fanfiction pt.02

[want to read all chapters right now? Our fanfictions get updated every monday on our blog, click here to continue reading!]

The aftermath of yesterday was still drilled into my head. I almost can’t remember what happened after Mikoto was pushed into the room in front of me.

I remembered anger and possessiveness taking over, the need to take something that was supposed to be mine.

Mine?

I rubbed my head to try and alleviate the persistent headache, but to no avail.

The nurse had given me a tranquilizer and a calming pill for today, and I hated the effect it had on me.

My sense of smell was dulled and it gave me a distorted perception of everyone around me.

So annoying.

I took in a breath in hopes to force the clearing of my nose but it didn’t work.

On my way to class I fumbled with my brown sweater and fished my phone out of my pocket.

Iwa still didn’t reply.

“How rude!”, I cursed under my breath and was startled when someone replied.

“What is rude?”

The beta stood before me and even her normally calm rosewater smell only faintly smelled like roses anymore.

I caught her flaring her nostrils, probably to check on my scent.

“Are you feeling Uh- better?”, she stuttered out when she realised my brows knitted and I tried to calm down.

“I’m just fine thank you very much”, my fingers formed a circle and I smiled at her while stepping forward a little.

Her immediate reaction was to take one back herself and I didn’t have to smell her to understand the short flaring of fear.

“Ah- that’s good, I’m glad you feel better!”, her hands writhed against each other and her eyes darted towards the hallway next to me.

She obviously knew something that I didn’t.

“Asami”, and my voice was harsher than planned because she flinched at me mentioning her name, “what happened yesterday? Can you tell me please?”

It was never my intention to hurt anyone, ever. But it felt like the puzzle piece that was missing to wrap everything up.

“You should ask someone else I really shouldn’t”, she interrupted herself and fumbled weirdly with her arms.

“Oh no it’s okay I don’t mind. You were there right? And you’re part of the beta committee, so you can tell me?”, I was confused as to why my heart started thrumming now.

Why don’t I remember?

I remember checking for Mikoto and a door. A door closing.

” So uh-“, her voice snapped me back from my focus,”Mikoto was in heat”.

Her eyes darted away but I couldn’t say much because all of the memories came rushing back.

I was banging on the door.

I was growling and pushing at the door.

I punched-

Asami looked at me concerned and I tried to rearrange the horror that must’ve been on my face.

“I am s-”

“Don’t apologize!”, she almost screamed.

“Please just, forget it happened, the beta committee already had a meeting and I just want to not talk about it any more”, she concluded.

“It’s really not your fault Oikawa. That wasn’t you. I really wanted to calm you myself but it didn’t work”, she looked down.

It was my turn to reassure her.

“Oh no! It’s okay! You helped me out of there and Akaashi and Kenma as well!”, an almost grotesque smile etched on my face as I closed my eyes for a second.

Asami looked a bit calmer now, and she smiled at me.

“What happened to Mikoto? Is she okay?”

Another flash of yesterday and I balled my hands to fist for a short relief of the anger I felt against myself.

“Well Uh- she is – uh you know in her room and, and”, she flushed red and I almost did as well.

Still in heat of course.

So I can’t visit her.

I have to stay away for a while.

It’s my fault all of this happened.

“Ah, I understand. Thank you so much”, I nodded with a smile and walked into the direction of my class.

She passed me with a crooked smile and as she left my vision my smile dropped completely.

…

[Asami: Are you okay? 12:34 sent.]

After that conversation I sighed and dropped my phone into my non dominant hand to fetch the water bottle out of my bag.

I gulped down a little to help against my sore throat and help the cold container against my recent eyebags.

That meeting yesterday was way too long. I still have two assignments due.

I sighed as my phone vibrated.

[Mikoto: I’m okay! 12:36 read.]

I scoffed.

[Asami: No you’re not?! 12:36 sent.]

Even in this state she swallowed down the pain.

She sent me back a whatsapp sticker.

Stifling a groan I angrily typed back.

[Asami: let me helpppp, I can soothe u 12:37 sent.]

[Mikoto: nöp. 12:38 read.]

She made me wanna throw myself out of the window. Wait, that’s not helpful now.

I knew that if I went there now anyways, she would be sulking and her ego bruised for a while.

Ah, why!!

The flash of a familiar face that made my face flush in my head popped up.

I quickly typed.

[Asami: if u let me help u ill tell you a secret. 12:41 sent.]

[Mikoto:…. 12:41 read.]

[Asami: I swear it’s something you don’t know. It’s a boy secret. 12:42 read.]

[Mikoto: you can come after class. 12:42 read.]

Curiosity kills the cat!

She said after classes which is a long way to go still, but a win is a win.

No, I actually have to tell her my secret.

Shit.

Previous

Next

[lhaewiel]

Top 5 XiYao moments and top 5 WangXian moments?

Hello!

So, where do I start? Let me put everything under cut.

XiYao top 5 moments, aka, I feel u LXC, those Hell Dimples make me weak too; I feel u MY, a respectful man is a unique sight even in more modern times:

1. When MY leaves Cloud Recesses

I know everyone talks about the moment when MY presents the present to LXC, but I feel like here it is the moment that really makes MY go like: https://www.tiktok.com/@mynameisnotjessie/video/6744597515674340613?lang=en

Like, I can hear MY's thoughts, I can FEEL him think "OMG this young noble master treated ME, a RAT, with RESPECT, OMG AM I HAVING BUTTERFLIES IN MY STOMACH SO THOSE WERE NOT JUST AN IMPRESSION. He called ME, a lowly soab, YOUNG MASTER like all those rich kids over there. He said that WE ARE PEERS." Oh boy. MY is in fucking LOVE with LXC here. Love at first sight.

2. LXC protects MY from NMJ in Nightless City

Like, this is a clear WangXian parallel. And if you look at LXC he has doubts, but still he believes MY, he is willing to put himself between MY and Baxia, he is willing to defend him whatever the cost. I am 100% convinced that the time where LXC was on the run and was hidden by MY some stuff happened, like LXC trusts him no matter what. I am a simple woman, I see someone go 🥺 and someone else go in protecc mode and I 🤡

3. LXC and now JGY duo at the guqin to calm down NMJ

4Like, those are CLEARLY bedroom eyes. The actors didn't have to go for it that hard but they did it anyway, there were ©️Acting Choices™️ involved. LXC APPEARS more subtle than LWJ bc unlike LWJ he CARES about appearance and etiquette, but these Lan brothers are LITERALLY THE SAME. Worthy sons of their father who married an assassin cos he thought she was neat. And well, all I read in JGY's eyes is "not now darling, Da-ge is right here in front of us, but later on I will make enough excuses to not let anyone bother us, k?"

4. JGY tries to save LXC from JZXun's stupid political games.

That is the Horrified Look of Doom JGY pulls out when SHit Is Going Down For Real, he's genuinely concerned for LXC, so concerned that his Customer Service Voice and Face fall down and he is fretting himself to explain JZXun that NO you CANNOT give alcohol to the Lans, they are BUDDHISTS, DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND, also WHY WOULD YOU ASK FOR A PAINFUL DEATH AT THE HAND OF ER-GE PLS COUSIN LISTEN. And he's like, er-ge, I will forsake this family if you say one single word but PLEASE. Again, ©️Acting Choices™️ involved.

5. LXC accepts gay feelings in full and he is willing to die with JGY at Guanyin Temple.

Look, JGY has just gone off about how no one cares about him, bc NHS has just screamed "HE MOVED" to LXC and LXC stabbed him and you know the whole spiel. And then JGY is asking LXC to die with him and LXC processes the 5 stages of grief in 30 seconds and accepts. And that is all JGY needs to see that he IS loved and cared for by the one person he always cared about. JGY gives LXC one last soft and tender look and then pushes him away, bc he knows he is loved and now he is ready to face death and Da-ge. And LXC is in full denial mode, like NO, I CHOSE TO DIE WITH YOU WHY ARE YOU PUSHING ME AWAY. Like, LXC, mate, I feel u. I understand why you went into seclusion, I would do that too.

***

Top 5 WangXian moments, aka

Like, I would say all of the scenes, but I have to choose

1. The first meeting after one death and 16 years:

2LWJ's look says everything, I can hear "A thousand years" by Christina Perry playing in the background. LWJ has found again the piece of soul he had lost, he is holding onto WWX for dear life and he will NEVER let him go again. Ever. I am crying. My crops are flourishing, my skin is cleared. Suddenly LWJ stops grieving and just holds onto the Love of His Life.

2. The Xuanwu Cave scene.

I am weak for tropes. WWX heals LWJ, LWJ sings for WWX, the whole "Ah, I see, you love Mianmian" and the subsequent "are you stupid" look. LWJ is utterly and completely in love with this oblivious gremlin and it is the "OH!!!" moment of realization. Who cared about the headband, who cares about the huge tortoise demon lurking in the water, there is only Wei Ying and his gremlin smile and LWJ is SMITTEN.

3. Lan Zhan allows Wei WuXian escape with the remainder of the Wen Clan

https://images.squarespace-cdn.com/content/v1/5acab0d3aa49a16d3b710876/1573784613163-EGW9M51EYIDDPLSA18YM/pc6.png

I was crying like a baby here. The atmosphere, the scenes, the fact that LWJ actually realizes that nothing is ever either black or white, the heartbreaking look on WWX's face. Look, I have a lot of feelings for this scene.

4. The WangXian family

This is the moment where my partner heard me shout "THEY HAVE A SON YOUR HONOUR THEY ARE MARRIED". I am sure that meta has been done and discourse has been done, but I literally cried. "But Cla, A-Yuan technically has a family", I KNOW, but STILL. The tenderness. The domestic fluff. LWJ providing toys for a-Yuan. I just. ASDFGHJKL.

5. The golden core reveal

https://filmdaily.co/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/untamed-9-ep-42.jpg

Look, this is my favourite scene for a lot of characters, but focusing on WangXian here we have WWX fainted in LWJ's arms whilst WN goes off about the golden core and NOW LWJ understands the full implications and reasons as to wy WWX chose demonic cultivation, now he understands that up until that moment he had had to withstand everyone's spiritual pressure without a golden core and without a body that could endure it, LWJ understands why WWX did not want him near his core and why he was acting that way and it fucking hurts and all LWJ can do now is cry. UGH MY HEART.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed me ranting about XiYao and WangXian.

[arce-elliot]

Magnus Archives - First Impressions (Ep. 26-50)

Into Season 2 now! More reactions from someone who had 75% of the series spoiled for them.

EP 26 (A Distortion): - !!!Sasha Statement!!! - reaching INTO her shoulder??? fucking no?? michael can you chill??? - OH okay he was helping nevermind

EP 27 (A Sturdy Lock): - this is just a sad old man

EP 28 (Skintight): - MELANIE!!!!! - G E O R G I E  N A M E D R O P

EP 29 (Cheating Death) - Wowee another war one - Fiona Law sounds familiar from somewhere - AYYY Gertrude you old hag

EP 30 (Killing Floor): - Meat 2 Electric Boogaloo: this time with more meat - Remember that one scene in "What Remains of Edith Finch" yeah i get those vibes

EP 31 (First Hunt): - HUNT EPISODE HUNT EPISODE - Oh America? Nice - "i heard whistling" FUCKING BYE - Jon is so tired I'm sorry little bastard man

EP 32 (The Hive): - GOD that was so unsettling wtf - Jane Prentiss is terrifying - Also OLIVER BANKS i think NEAT

EP 33 (Boatswain's Call): - TIMOTHY MY BOY - ah shit peter lukas time - Elias: "research the statements no not that one"

EP 34 (Anatomy Class): - "bone, blood, fruit" IS THIS THE FUCKING APPLE TEETH THING - lmao gimme ur bones - these poor eldritch horrors just wanted to learn :c

EP 35 (Old Passages): - "teenager in all black" ah yes hello Gerard - listening to regular people just dealing w/ Gerard is hilarious - BREEKON AND HOPE??????

EP 36 (Taken Ill): - aww poor old people - Trevor and Julia up to some bullshit I see - ah shit here's that fuckin table

EP 37 (Burnt Offering): - Jon being annoyed at Martin, nice start - Ayy old lady that's Gertrude - DING DING DING i'm a genius - Jon take a nap good lord

EP 38 (Lost and Found): - OH HELL YES HOMOPHOBIC VASE TIME HERE WE GOOOOOOOO - every time Sasha speaks I get so sad I don't want her to go :C

EP 39 (Infestation): - not the bye bye sasha episode :c - stop YELLIN u nerds this is CHAOS - Martin and his fuckin corkscrews lmao - "i refuse to become another goddamn mystery" jon bestie i'm afraid to tell you this - "i don't know what happened to gertrude, she's officially still missing" yet again, jon, bestie, i'm afraid to tell you this - someone right "tim over here" on a piece of fuckin paper and slam it on the window - SASHA NO YOU DUMB SHIT - YES MARTIN GET HIS ASS - oh nice we're trauma bonding - Timmy to the rescue! - SASHA NO MY BABY - this podcast sucks i'm crying i hate it here

EP 40 (Human Remains): - I LIVED THROUGH THAT AND THIS IS MY REWARD, A STATEMENT FROM RAT BASTARD??? i hate it here - hey jon? yell at martin one more time see what happens - your boss is an eldritch monster but oh no scawy gun

EP 41 (Too Deep): - jon really soundin like a whole dumbass here ngl

EP 42 (Grifter's Bone): - *Holt voice* BONE??? - hey lady maybe dont do -gestures to the entire episode- - LEAVE MARTIN ALONE YOU SHIT

EP 43 (Section 31): - wait do i know this voice? she sounds familiar might be from tiktok tho - BASIRA! BASIRA! AYYYYY! FINALLY ANOTHER BRAIN CELL! sasha: dies elias: shit fuck Jon needs a brain cell basira: -makes a statement- elias: perfect are you currently employed - wait is this the fucking uhhhhh other burned dude in the gerry hospital episode???? - B O O K - OH FUCK DAISY - supplementals be like "dear diary, i am still paranoid as shit, end supplemental"

EP 44 (Tightrope): - GERTRUDE! - this statement giver is a clown purist - ah shit circus of the other lol

EP 45 (Blood Bag): - mosquito stinky - stop spying on Tim damn it - HE'S YOUR FRIEND YOU FOOL

EP 46 (Literary Heights): - MIKE CREW AYYY - Run boy run the enderman's gonna get ya - Jon continues to be a Perfectly Reasonable Individual

EP 47 (The New Door): - Michael time? Please Michael Time - OH HELEN? - helen being a real estate agent makes everything i know about her make sense now - MICHAEL THERE HE IS! THERE'S MY BOY!

EP 48 (Lost in the Crowd): - "there's a purity in being alone when you travel" must be nice to be a cishet white man - WAIT IT'S A WOMAN WTF LADY UR GONNA DIE - "long black hair" oh lord hello my dear Gerard gerard: i'm going on holiday this lady: -reeks of the lonely- gerard, grumbling: i swear I have to do everything my damn self

EP 49 (The Butcher's Window): - "Butcher's Window" oh boy we love a good flesh episode - Ah yes the other Jared - we love bi king Tim

EP 50 (Foundations): - I wasn't paying attention to the date so when the statement giver said "Dear Jonah" I about shit myself - Tim no I like Basira

[thecrenellations]

Return of the Thief Notes, Part One: The Book of Pheris, Volume I

Notes from my first read, October 2020. (Part Two | Part Three | TaT)

Contents:  "So, so, so” watch, Costis watch, swearing, trashing the king’s attendants, being objectively wrong, boundless enthusiasm and love 

I promise I’ve had more developed thoughts since these often incoherent ones, but I’ve enjoyed having these notes to refer to - for sentimental reasons and for  entertainment, so here they are, for others who enjoy liveblogs and/or being whisked back in time to their first read of this wonderful book.

Format: Page number. My thoughts (Context?)

Dedication, Table of Contents, Exordium:

There it is – to Sounis

Exordium – vocab #1

Interregnum?!? Alyta?

Pheris!!!

Yeah I love him from the first page

MOIRA

MOCKING COMMENTS HELP! Gen lives!

A new level of unreliable narrator

Moira, messages of Gods, Pheris, messages of __

Wtf is going on in this study? A zoo?

high king vs great king vs annux?

okie dokie dude

Chapter 1

1. Susa – Costis

2. Infirmity – who gets to be hero/tell story (I started reading right after the book launch, in which mwt spent some time talking about her writing influences and decisions connect to this question - Pheris isn’t her first disabled protagonist and storyteller, of course, but it was lovely to meet him properly directly after hearing her talk about it. Book launch foreshadowing part 1...)

Melisande?

Is this why he wasn’t taught to read?

3. Always the summer

Bees!

4. Hunting cat… hm…

Ok … shrine … 😬

5. Once again we start with a disaster or having to flee

Which Eugenides precipitated

Bite!

Little monster :(

6. Falling…

:(

7. :( :( :(

His purpose? D:

8. YIKES

Chapter 2

9. Hello there! (Gen!)

Massive chair?

10. CRACKED WATER JUG (amphora motif???)

11. Triangle from seal!

Gen that’s rude to Pheris :( (“He will fit in very well with my attendants”)

Wait. This must have happened before ACoK! (nope)

12. :(

Xikander … never made an impression before

How old is Pheris? (lol)

13. Philologos come thru!

Royal closet reappears!

14. Hello weird secondhand scene!

He is Eugenides

Marina…

15. Petrus? GALEN? OH SHIT! 

Is this why Galen was called? (nope)

16. Hell yea Petrus

Miras’ golden balls oh no

All these previously unnamed sucky attendants!

17. Ula – goddess of hearth and healing

Ok … Galen … or a god? Eugenides????? (why did these options occur to me before Mr. Shows Up At Your Bedside At Night himself)

18. Finally the attendant floor plans I crave + hunting scenes!

19. EXCUSE ME he slept through Sounis + Eddis wedding!!!

Again – high king!

20. So Ion is beautiful … hmm.

Yeah … Sejanus has facets. I like it.

21. Clearly no one would know what king would do … lol

Don’t mind me just sorting the attendants on a spectrum of awfulness!!!

22. SO SO SO – ION!!!!!

How many fucking attendants are there and how many are on my hit list!

Is “the necessaries” bathrooms or like … him stealing? (just the bathrooms ... the Gen-Pheris parallels were really getting to me at this point)

:(

23. OH MY GOD THE UNIFIED CREST

Also … frogs. Frogs.

24. Big day for Gen huh

Definitely an aura of Something as he writes about Gen

25. HELLO EVERYONE

26. Sorry Kamet, Pheris does the physical descriptions better. They’re beautiful

I’m blacking out at Eddis and Sounis

27. Jesus Christ. The bear.

Cousin time!

Under the table is the new up on the roof!

Uh… twin imagery ….

Gen’s feet!

Jesus. The matching

28. Cleon … wtf? A cousin?

A trial for Sophos?

Show! Us! Sophos’s! Shoes!

29. If u throw things out the air shaft you might hit the king

Was it a chicken?

Lol nvm the guy at night is Gen. That is … very sweet

- Showing up at night

- Accent

- Complaining about Petrus

- Swearing

- One hand

I am judging Costis and Sophos for not describing the paneling in Gen’s room!

Chapter 3

30. Was it a chicken?

An earring huh, good hand huh

31. Literally screaming “NO!” at Gen. Don’t joke about dying! I am killed by Gen on annux day. This is. My boy. Yes he is perfect. Yes he will refuse to get up. I love him. I died on page 31

Philologos is still the best of them

32. Dancing bear indeed

Always the powdered gold

Ruby!!!!! <3

Aww a smile!!! <3

Pheris he likes you!

33. They both love invisibility and lost it … I cry

Erupt like the sacred mountain excuse me!

OR WORSE return to bed! Lol

34. He’s Eugenides when he’s talking to Attolia

Ouch hero talk

! from Irene!

My queen!

Hey Phresine!

They way we do <3 he’s hating it but he’s so comfortable with her

Sister and bro mention! C’mon!

I love them

EYEBROW

35. Honestly that’s a yes (“I have no idea what you mean, my queen”)

It’s so cute they hang out in the morning … like how long was it even since they’ve seen each other lol

:( tough walk for Pheris

Is it prophecy time?

Lol how long does this construction take?!

Also … she’s pregnant, huh? but no one knows (nope)

Is befriending someone weaponized as a prank count for Gen’s enemies to friends list?

Also SHOW ME the magus. I know he’s here!

36. Pheris excuse me, why not recreate this!

Lol cast off language of history indeed

Feel the thrum of the goddess!

EXCUSE ME… a minor goddess? Mystery goddess? Or Philia?

Oh Gen

37. Well, Gen, someone is having a worse day than you.

Damn, how far we come.

Aww Sounis, babe, I love you and so does Gen

[drawing of the four of them sitting in a row]

38. Artadorus???? Pomegranate?

39. HEIRO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! A friend! Also lol. Two smiles, for Pheris and Heiro..

40. Yesss Melheret joke in action.

Costis has left tho right?

Jesus, Melheret

SHE GAVE HIM A HORSE (I COULD NOT DEAL with this entire conversation, but then again I could not deal with this whole book.)

41. I love them all so much

“on that horse, you will look like a king” I can’t with her sense of humor

He sure did say that

I feel like I’m missing something with the fight on foot thing … remembering battles?

Helen called him Gen!

Sophos stop talking about yourself and bringing apricots into everything lol

Lol these bystanders don’t know how lucky they are. Nor does Pheris, yet

42. She’s protecting him

Also … Gen … you didn’t want to be a soldier.

43. Guards have capes

2 startled men … hm …

Oh Gen. The fucking brutal echoes…

44. :( :( :(

Gen tell your wife you’re sick!

The attendants are so dumb

45. So, so, so :(

Tell who? Petrus?

Wink!

Yes?

46. Bleeding! Salt! Lemon! Heck no! What is he, a piece of meat?

Oranges?

47. “savoring each bite as if it were my last” ... Same … but with this book

Hmm… Alyta! Goddess of the gentle rain! (despite this “hmm,” I did not put the pieces together)

48. Oh no Teleus! And someone?

Aw he realized <3 lemon water

49. Gen eat your broth lol

50. I love them.

Ion’s really trying to make up for what he did that one time

51. Without the approval of the great goddess HAHAHA

I love them. Cousin time! Growl?

Idk whether or not to be reassured, Gen.

Wow Cleon I do not like that. Also didn’t he die? (...)

Comma (“I am not, Eddis”)

Go smack him!

52. Gen I love you.

Helen I love you.

He’s so bad at self care but I love him

Chapter 4

55. love that our narrator just disappears and reappears

56. Attolia’s brother’s bedroom? Yikes. Ominous. A detail in a story we’ve already gotten, different every time <3

57. fucking attendants. 3 good ones. Medander you were beneath Costis’s notice before but I hate you. Costis didn’t have time for you or Xikos or Xikander and nor do I

58. interesting pawn talk!!!

59. <3 Pheris :(

The Gen comparisons though

:( :( :( :(

60. flamboyance <3

Cemphora bush

Bees

61. I love him

62. I love them

Also lol “Your majesty?”

63. Name … hm … (“I have deliberately omitted [my tutor’s] name here”)

64. more twin imagery I swear

WAIT … it was his birthday! Not just Annux day?!! Gen was born in late summer???

Attendant list thank you

65. laying it all out there, huh … (that one Gen quote)

Lol they’re the same but Pheris likes horses

66. Insellia! Hello nice to meet you

67. Gen that’s mean. (“He is hardly even half of one.”)

68. Coleus leves???

“I am Eugenides.” <3

Gen why

69. Gold cups???? Hmmmmm. Also lioness. Def invoking Costis. (they’re probably not the cups, but STILL)

Earth….

70. Moira! Hi!!! Rainbow shawl!

Like a rabbit!

Pester!

I’m … very sad he uses his Attolian accent with Helen

71. Aaah so good

Mortals

Moira knows another messenger?

Does he think he can’t die in battle?

72. hmm are they WRANGLING?! (Galen and Petrus and my Fire and Hemlock word association)

Kill that pastry Irene I love you

morning training with his … guard? (Is that the whole guard or a guard? Costis senses tingling once again.)

73. Oh gen.

Ouch! (“to send people to their deaths and not risk my own is contemptible”)

Is she implying he’s paying Therespides?

74. Interesting Cleon plan. So many doubles

OUCH. (“Only if he comes back from the dead.” I assumed Lader had died in the war; it’s a different ouch now. I love that they both accidentally say things to each other that poke old wounds, and it’s not a big deal but it’s also not dismissed! Their relationship has come so far, and I love them so much.)

75. Verimius – Lavia – Celia??? Somebody is queer in there!

A GUARD

This scene confuses me. Xortix? Layteres? Aris! but dice thing is less political … so maybe? (just wait....)

76. So many reasons to hate Medander

Hey Costis! You exist! KoA happened!

Gen is just … still so uncomfortable and miserable. He chose, he has people, but still.

RIP Clopius also WHAT

77. Lol Hilarion’s grand statements

78. Yorn Fordad Hello!

Luxurious mustache

The mighty Pents?

Besin Quedue – she’s coming 4 you watch out

79. RIP Baron Hippias

Chapter 5

80. Spring! Plays! Cenna!

81. Oh dear

Oh dear

At least they said he was pretty

83. ?!? :( wine

Uh oh. Stockpiling

85. What even.

AAAAAAAAAH COSTIS

86. Omg Irene. Hissing. I love her.

Also … Gen’s the viper

Also this scene was written by Pheris.

Damn.

87. oh no.

What better man

She fucking quoted Howl. I love them.

Also, bees (this scene killed me)

90. Falling?

Oh shit

Also … Juridius and Pheris, Susa and Costis (comparing demands for information)

93. oh my god (IT’S THE WINDOW SCENE)

Oh my god

Uh

94. She! Called! Him! Gen!

I love this and it scares me

Lol Chloe

Irene you learned from her though

95. D:

96. :(

97. water stuff

98. what the heck

OH NO (Quedue scene)

Hm

100. yikes

Omg

Wow.

102. yikes yikes YIKES

103. a blade has protruded from his chest (tbt to The Thief)

jesus

106. shit

Did Gen hit him?

108. lol Phresine

109. lol

I want genuinely every character’s reaction to this shit

Chapter 6

111. what the heck Gen.

112. like a god [crown doodle]

114. Perma?

116. Gen. Gen. Gen. Do not.

117. AAAA (god intervention)

122. Juridius to Dite

124. bye Iolanthe and Ileia! Tell us about Caeta and Silla.

125. did not expect so much Ion

Chapter 7

127. Fryst god of winter

She laughed!

They’re so married

128. OH SHIT (Costis ship is sighted and I remember what’s about to happen next)

Interesting timing

He rode the horse home?

131. Beauty and good, beauty and kind

134. The gods’ goodwill

Keep them safe <3

135. Is that his MOM?!! Wtf (it was!)

Pheris steal those earrings!!!

RING! SMASH BOX!

137. AMPHORA EARRINGS (and flowers)

138. I love Phresine

139. Why do I feel like all the game birds are pigeons

140. meanwhile Gen’s been hanging out with Kamet. Shit. I cannot.

WELCOME HOME BOYS!

HELL YEAH KAMET ATTEND THOSE MEETINGS!

RELIUS COME THRU

141. lethium soup! The reversal

Safe for you

142. of course he knew <3

143. Kamet time! I love him. We get to see Kamet!!!

Also … echo of Gen’s notes on Mede

145. very handsome. … gaycostis vindication (referring to @costis’s url at the time and this post. Little did I know what else was to come in the next chapter and then a few months later with the adaptation news...)

Do you know who I am?

Chapter 8

147. Of course he’s a cartographer

A favorite huh

148. of course she didn’t tell us his age!

149. the angsty window staring I crave

Music!

151. adventure, huh

I do have a soft spot for Melheret

152. concerned about amphora gift

153. Glad they can be well and united in spite!! (Gen and Melheret)

154. Pheris loves math and I love him

155. Hello Teleus. Hello olives

Lol Relius is not into math

156. pigeons. Inkpot!

157. yeah honestly. He tortures people. He was NOT tortured by the king

159. lol (“I have noted the elective nature of certain behaviors” ... I love Relius and Pheris.)

160. The Invitation! I <3 it

161. EXCUSE ME WHO

Legarus!

FOLKS HERE WE ARE (I cannot overstate how wonderful it was to read this page. I did not know who the poem was from, and “Someone loves me very much, even with all my faults” is even sweeter to reread, but it’s just ... his confidence is so different from the tentative consideration of a new philosophy of trust and love we see in KoA. And there is subtextual queerness in the books before this one, some more apparent and some more subtle (and what is obvious to one reader may be subtle or invisible to another, in these books especially), and there is the attendant love triangle a few chapters back, but HERE - here, Pheris acknowledges the real feeling and love in Legarus’s disastrous relationship and tells us directly that his lover was a man, here he seamlessly makes it clear how bi and poly Relius is, and he quietly ties these relationships and realities to his growing understanding of the world. It’s not subtext. And there’s a lot more to come, but this page really hit me, and sort of promised the “more to come” while assuring me that what had come before, more subtly, was there. I used to have heteronormative readings of both these books and myself, and when Thick as Thieves brought them crashing back into my heart after years away, I knew better about myself, and I saw that - or the possibility of that reading -  reflected in the new book, and it was such a good surprise. It meant a lot, and this page meant a lot, and that is why I’m writing a small essay to accompany this note.) 

Lol wow

162. Where are you traveling, man (this question remains)

163. Fuck you, Orutus

164. Stole an inkpot!

165. the map!!! (Kamet’s)

166. I love them!

167. The Math Master hmm

Am I an oracle (Nope! :) )

[luvuwite]

all, go

i hate you

1. What was the last present you gave?

uMMMM probably a commission i gave to pancake (archie/vivi)

 2. What was the last present you received? 

i dunno? if its a doodle then i got that a week back!

3. What animal best represents your personality? 

from the oOoOO spirit animal tests i took im a snek

4. What are you most afraid of? 

sometimes my own mind EYES EMOJI

5. Who is your favourite villain? 

HMMMMMMM probably like,, megamind i love him

6. Who is your favourite family member? (we all have one, admit it)

MY SISTERRRR

7. If you could name your own planet what would it be called? 

myanus

8. Stars or Moon? 

stars!!

9. Do you have/want kinds? 

if my other partner wants them, sure

10. What is your greatest life goal? 

making it this far

11. What is something you can’t live without? 

soup

12. What is a place you associate with your childhood? 

one of the parks near the store-area

13. How was your first kiss/how would you like your first kiss to go? 

i never kissed, so i wouldn’t know, but pls,,,ask for consent,,, and warn me if we gonna kiss or not,,,,,

14. What is some life advice you have acquired? 

ive learned a lil’ bit, but one of em probably has to be to just be like,, dont cry over something you know is fake, at least thats what i remember atm HAHA

15. Who in history has influenced you? 

bruh i dont like history idk

16. What is something strange that you think about often? 

h,,,hopless romantic noISIJEIORQ AHHAHA i like to think about weird scenarios in my head basically

17. Baths or Showers? 

showrr i get shy with myself in baths

18. Tea of Coffee? 

coffee

19. Alcohol or soft drink? 

alchohol bad brisk brisk brisk

20. Writing or typing? 

typing since its easier

21. What is you most favourite thing in your bedroom? 

my bed its sexy and comfy

22. Spontaneous holiday! Where are you going and with who? 

wait what UH I DONT KNOW probably just close close friends and family

23. Introverted or Extraverted? 

i have my moments with both

24. Describe yourself in two words. 

small and aggressive

31. What do you think of when you hear ‘portrait’? 

a picture or image of someone/something

32. Tell me about your partner/ideal partner? 

i mean no one is perfect yeah? i just want them to be honest with me and accept my AHEM struGGLES with relationships since im not the best partner

33. Tell me about your siblings, if you have any? 

my sister is what you call a “girly girl”, she likes disney movies, outdoors, being loud and running around, yknow just like any other child ever

35. What are you a big advocate for? 

my friends!!

36. If you’re comfortable to answer, what is the sickest you have ever been?

migraine + stomach bug + mental in trash +  stomach pains + lil appendix pain

37. When were you the most scared in your life? 

when i broke my arm

38. Ever had a paranormal experience? 

ACTUALLY YEAH i thought i heard someone yelling help outside my window and i peaked out and realized it was nothing and i figured i was just tired but i was still kinda freaked

39. Biggest celebrity crush at the moment? 

im not like other girls,,,,....

40. What is something happening in your life right now? 

uhhh just general anxiousness/paranoia(?) tbh

41. What is your favourite mythological creature? 

DRAAAAGOOOOOON

42. Marvel or DC?

dont know what those are

43. What object would be on your family’s banner? 

soup

44. Favourite flower? 

pink rose

45. One characteristic you like in a partner? 

s,,,support/reassurance pls

46. What planet/star would you travel to if it were possible? 

i wanna,,,, actually i dont know i think i would just enjoy floating around in general 

47. What is your favourite meal… ever? 

soup

48. First time…. doing anything. Describe your first time doing something? 

first time i drew was twiggit sperkl and that was the most proudest i ever felt

49. Who is your favourite superhero? 

bRUHHH I DUNNO I DONT WATCH THAT STUF

50. What is your favourite poem? Recite it?

i dont read

51. What is an exercise you despise doing. 

burpees

52. Secret talent? 

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

fite

53. Current song on replay replay replay? 

[x]

55. If you weren’t in your current occupation what would you be doing? 

sleeping probably

56. What is the first thing you notice about the person you fancy?

,,y,yo they kinda,,,, scrumptious,,, AHUIWRWQI 

57. If you had one wish that would definitely come true, what would it be? 

yes

58. If you could time travel, when and where would you visit? 

i would go to future bc i wanna see what i look like

59. What is your lucky number? 

5

60. If you adopt a pet what would it be and what would you name it? 

a cat!! and i actually am planning a name and calling them clementine!! 

61. Do you believe in fate/everything happens for a reason?

i believe your fate is decided by ur own actions/words

 62. What is your favourite thing about your personality? 

im not too hard to get along with,, i hope

63. What is your favourite thing about your appearance? 

uhhhhhhhhhhhhh

64. What is your favourite clothing store? 

primark bc everything is like 2 bucks

65. What is your favourite online store? 

i dont do online shopping too much

66. Use one word to describe your most favourite person? 

observant 

67. How do you usually have your hair?

down with a clip, then ponytail next day

 68. What was your favourite subject in high school? 

math

69. What makes you feel empowered? 

power over something/someone(as a joke/in games, not in a bad way)

70. What motivates you to do something? 

a prize at the end

71. What advice would you give someone who is going through a rough time? 

it gets worse before it gets better, and in the worse ill be there for you so you dont have to go through this alone

72. Ideal date? 

wendys!!! sweater weather!!! cuddle!!! left 4 dead!!! comfy clothes!!!

73. What is the best date night movie? 

i am not that attractive to be taken out on a date

74. What is something you are currently looking forward to? 

nothing atm tbh im just here bc i have to beIEOJRWIOE

75. Tell me a funny joke? 

oo wa oh wa ooh

76. Do you like musicals? If so, what’s your favourite? 

never listened to one actually

77. What is your favourite song currently? 

sweater weather. always.

78. What song never fails to make you dance? 

POP EYED JOEEEEE IVE BEEN LIVING???? LONG TIME YOOO

79. What is your favourite “classic?”

gnomeo and juliet

 80. What is the best advice you have ever been given? 

obese paragraph and comfort doodles? lets go

81. Where did you ancestors come from? 

puerto rico

82. What have you learned from your parents/guardians? 

be tough nugget and dont take shit seriously till you have to

83. What is a phrase you heard a lot growing up? 

dont step on the crack or youll break ur mothers back

84. Do you believe in magic? 

nnno

85. What reminds you of your best friend? 

overwatch

86. What are you passionate about? 

dance dance dance

87. Tell me a story from middle school? 

one time

the end

88. Who was your favourite teacher and why?

i love my bio teacher rn bro shes such a sweetheart

 89. Can you roll your tongue? 

yes

90. What made you pursue what you are studying? (including school subjects) 

my little pony

91. Where would you like to travel to? 

japan for those toys gimme gimme

92. What is something on your bucket-list? 

i wanna see coral reef

93. What is home to you? 

place that brings feeling of comfort/security

94. What do you do in your free time? 

draw

95. If you could buy anything right now, what would it be? 

food

96. If you could see anyone, living or dead, right now, who would it be? 

probs one of my online friends

97. If you could choose, what would your last meal be? 

soup dumplings brisk and rice

98. How would you like to die? 

happy

99. List five of your favourite pieces of art (paintings, books, songs etc) 

ruby eyes / sweater weather / ponyo / wall-e / idk

100. What would you change about this world?

global warming SHOOO U FAT

[szivtalan]

1, 3, 9, 13, 16, 20, 23, 25, 26, 30, 38, 40, 42, 43, 44, 45, 48, 49, 50, 56, 64, 69, 73, 74, 79, 84, 87, 94 for the recent ask list you reblogged please?

Aw thank you!!! Right away ma’am

1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

Closed???? What kinda psycho leaves the closet doors open,,, also, they’re just right in front of my bed so it would be nightmare fuel in the dark

3) Can You Whistle?

I sure can, but I Cannot hold a tune

9) How Many Followers?

111 and I love all of u

13) Do You Sing In The Shower?  

Not always, but I usually blast my music from my phone, and then Sometimes I also sing along

16) Favourite Anime?

I’m KuroBasu trash first and a person second, but I just have to say Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood. It’s so damn good

20) Do You Dance In The Car?

I don’t really travel by car these days and when I do someone else is giving me a lift and I don’t want to be rude or distracting so...nah?

23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

Uhhhhhhhhh midnight? Earlier when I’m working the morning shift, but I usually can’t sleep before midnight

25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

I’ve never swum in the ocean before but I do prefer natural bodies of water!

26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

I don’t think I have one asdfhd tumblr user @homiro has some rlly good takes tho I like having their posts on my dash

30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music? 

It really depends with me! Sometimes music helps me focus, other times it’s just entirely too distracting

38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?  

I try to save it, but most of the time I’ll give in to the urge to treat myself. Or think about a thing I’ve wanted for a long time, think “why the hell don’t I buy it now? I have the money” and end up with a piercing, a binder, and a new tattoo

40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?  

I might be a liiiittle obsessed with Jake’s playlists right now, but I have been for a while. Idk, things are a little more tame these days for me? I think I just don’t have time for one since I’m working all the time ashdjd

42)  Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?  

Sure I am! I pick up other people’s vocabularies, humor, sense of style, talking, behavior to the point where I feel like I lost all sense of individuality

43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

Extremely. They’re all fucking weird - those i remember, at least.

44)  Do You Like Going On Airplanes?  

Never been on one!

48) Are You A Picky Eater?  

I’m not, I just don’t eat any vegetables or fruits.

49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?  

Not really, but I wouldn’t say I’m a light sleeper, either. I tend to wake up to noises, light, a person moving around in bed me, and idk if it’s the same thing but I also have a terribly hard time falling asleep most of the time.

50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?  

I....yea... I guess. It’s not really pleasant.

56) What Are You Craving Right Now?  

Mmmm fruit juice. Some cuddles. A proper binder, and a tattoo?

64) Favourite Social Media?

why do you think i spend so much time on this damned site

69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

I’ve always wanted to sleep in a car, but also, crappy motel rooms sound so Fun so??? I guess I’m getting lost for two nights and try both

73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

I have a few that I think about a lot, like “it’s going to get better” and “If the only thing keeping a person decent is the expectation of divine reward then, brother, that person is a piece of shit.”

79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?  

....perhaps, in my obsessive sims-playing days, or when I was binging shows

84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?  

1) asked one of our regular customers about where in the US he’s from (New York. my friend and I made a bet on it and this meant that I lost)

2) bought a zero Red Bull

3) watched two episodes of Des (2020) and in the meantime, cleaned my desk and stretched

87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

Niight. I’m way more comfortable at night about everything, and just plain more energized.

94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

Aside from the things I’ve already named, I’d say... music? Even those that make me want to jump and yell would sooth my soul.

[reynie-muldoons]

'The Dance of the Celestial Orb' liveblog!

I have a pastry to munch on while I watch, let's get at it. Book and show spoilers below :)

EDIT: full liveblog has been recovered and posted, this is only partial!! Apologies, my original liveblog didnt save lol

I'm ✨nervous✨ please let our children be okay

0:10 this Sticky arc hurts me so kuch

1:35 this music is BUMPIN

2:22 I just wanna know how she got under there without the dude seeing her

2:47 "all systems go" for the Improvement 😬 yikes 😬😬😬

2:55 she didn't wait even 5 seconds after they left, the door was still closing when she popped up 😂 can you imagine if one of them doubled back right at that moment

3:18 they look like the dudes from that veggietales movie, I think it was Esther- the island of perpetual tickling?? Anyone??? 😂😂😂

4:00 Kate vented.......

4:51 "not a rat" yeah no shit

5:07 if not for the suspense, I would be jamming out lmaooo

6:10 Mr. Benedict is looking at the shoreline, is he about to watch Kate dive in???? Because I mean that's where she's gotta be going

6:20 "memory challenges"? Is Rhonda talking about Milligan's amnesia, or has short term memory been affected as well??

6:29 .....thank you for answering so efficiently 😂

6:42 "I buy it. I completely.... buy it." RHONDA THAT'S NOT HELPFUL AHSKSHDJKD

6:56 can you imagine seeing your friend go down in a sub then hours later seeing the sub float up in fucking PIECES

7:06 KATE! KATE! KATE! KATE!

7:06 please let it be reunion time

7:25 oh hello that's a drop

7:38 *to the tune of Bezos I* come on Katie u can do it pave the way put ur back into it

7:51 she craves that mineral

8:06 Sticky, my child

8:20 oh my gosh they went out and LOOKED FOR HER I care them 😭😭😭

8:23 SHE KNEW HIS DREAM SHE KNEW HIS DREAM TELEPATH TELEPATH TELEPATH

8:34 STICKY STOPPPP

8:40 "jumping to conclusions is a failure of character" wow that really is something Curtain would say

8:52 angry Reynie. He is in rare form

8:54 "and you helped put her there!" OOOOOOOH I SCREAMED

9:03 "I shouldn't have yelled" okay but you kinda should have Sticky needs a wake up call

9:06 "dont apologize. I like this side of you." IS THIS THE START OF REYNIE AND CONSTANCE HAVING THE BEST SIBLING RELATIONSHIP

9:22 "if you really scared about me, you'd want me to be happy instead of standing there telling me who I am" oh Sticky my dude I am NOT digging the manipulation

9:36 Reynie pulling out the BFF card!!! Also Reynie digging in his feet because he knows he's right!!!! That's great setup for his arc as a strategist later

9:48 "I'm telling you, Kate's fine." Narrator: Kate was not, in fact, fine.

10:03 "they'll notice." Sticky has made one (1) good point.

10:11 oh dear god are they fingerprinting this bitch

10:19 all this equipment, has no one walked up to the cliff and looked down???

10:23 HAHAHAHA WAIT THEY HAVEN'T

10:27 "we've been out here all night" that means Kate has been clinging to a cliff by her fingers and toes ALL NIGHT????

11:04 babe I know it's been a long night but maybe wait a second for them to actually leave before you climb back up

11:15 BUCKET NO

11:22 she has to go get it. There's no way someone wouldn't find that shit, it's in plain view

11:37 "WAS"???? WHY ARE WE SAYING WAS????? NO PAST TENSE HERE MILLIGAN'S FINE

11:43 "I only wish we could've known him better" NOOOP NONONO WE'RE NOT DOING THIS

11:47 Rhonda back at it as the voice of reason!!!!!

11:59 "I have never met a more competent swimmer" throwback to the baaAAAYYYY

12:10 MR. BENEDICT'S FACE HAHAHAHA HOLD ON LET ME TAKE A PICTURE OM DYING

12:11 NUMBER TWO, NOT HELPING

12:14 RHONDA'S FACE HAHENDJDKDN

12:33 "we will go rescue him" because of COURSE he would

12:36 Rhonda is his best wingwoman omfg she's so consistent

12:54 MISS PERUMAL??????

12:56 MISS PERUMAL!!!!!!

13:00 SHE KNOWS HE'S RIGHT GAKSHDBDHEKSNND

13:09 "how hard can it be? It's an island!" PFFFFT

13:16 oh SQ baby boy please get out of there

13:25 "I certainly have my own suspicions" he said, looking at SQ why are you looking at SQ like that

13:31 SQ GET OUT OF THERE PLEASE IS2G

13:36 here we fuckin go

13:43 the captions have the f in forest capitalized like it's this special place

13:43 new hc that the Forest is a magical place like pixie hollow

13:57 TWO THINGS: 1. YES stand up for yourself baby!!!! 2. Shepard Quaid? Interesting! I don't think we ever got SQ's full name in the books, I hope TLS made that decision!

14:08 your "father hat"??? Oh my gosh shut the fuck up right there don't even continue

14:16 oh yeah real fuckin cute put on your "steward of this institution hat" and call that a good reason to be a shit person

14:43 "No." GOOD FOR HIMMMM GOOD JOB SQ

15:03 Kate's struggling right by the shore where a certain someone would be returning after a very hard swim, it would be a great time for a meeting wouldn't you think

15:09 KATE THE GREAT

15:11 "THE TRAPESE GODDESS" I WILL REFER TO HER AS NOTHING ELSE

15:26 sorry but that green screen of her falling was kinda funny

15:28 soooooo is someone, a very certain someone, gonna catch her...??????

15:36 YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

15:43 IS THIS IT????@?@?!?

15:46 awww poor baby girl you can tell how tired she is

15:46 just putting this out there they look so good in frame together

15:46 the actor who plays Milligan is fucking huge in stature so I wasn't sure how that would go but it looks so good

16:00 THE WAY HE'S LOOKING AT HER WITH HIS HAND ON HER SHOULDER I CANT DO THISSSSS

16:20 "keep going." 😭😭😭😭😭

16:23 "you dont understand." Ohhhh I think he does

16:25 "I think I do." What did I tell you, he's got your back babygirl

16:45 I'm so glad she's talking this out, and with Milligan of all people

17:01 it makes so much sense for Kate to feel alone in that situation, and when Kate feels anything less than positive she goes and does something, whatever that something is.

17:05 "So.. I...." "fell off a cliff and nearly died." Thanks for putting things into perspective Milligan

17:05 Milligan is such a good dad stop

17:19 "most of the way" is an understatement LMFAO

17:29 I'm so glad we know the intimate details of Milligan's illustrious swimming abilities 😂 out of all the new things wfrom the show that one wasnt on my radar

WAIT WAIT HOLD UP DID THE REST OF MY LIVEBLOG NOT SAVE

How DARE

[kaijulvl5]

Escape from the Green (What price my life?)

***WARNING: Non-con elements. Please do not read if non-con, non-con bondage, or situation appropriate violence is a trigger for you.***

Hard M - Explicit content

After he had shot and killed her partner and aimed the same weapon at her, she had turned and run for the pod. The violence of it all had blanked her mind, a protective blackout that activated her lizard-brain and sent her fleeing at top speed. Luckily, the dangerous man had not followed, and she was able to retreat to the relative safety of the drop pod.   

In a panic that bordered on hysteria, she had followed the instruction manual and managed to get it prepped for launch. Then, just as she thought she would actually make it off this poisoned moon, something in the fundamental internals fried and she was left stranded. Without a working knowledge of ship repair, the craft was no more useful to her than a tent. The disappointment and despair she felt had almost broken her. 

Half a cycle later, she had burned through the remaining stores of food and water they hadn’t taken with them, and was left with some crappy narcotic gum she found in a folderbin. The only effect of that escapade had been to let her forget her hopeless situation for an hour or two.

As she completed her latest fruitless rummage, steps sounded on the entry stairs. The outer hatch slammed and the scrubber fans began processing. Panic overtook her once more. That noise meant she had only a moment to grab the rifle and slide behind the inadequate cover of the pilot’s seat, past the low center bulkhead, before the intruder got into the cabin. 

Tucked as far back as she could get, she shifted the safety off. Instead of the telltale whine, the gun remained silent. She was still fuzzy from the after effects of the gum, so it took a split second to register what was wrong. A curt shake of her head to clear it, and it came back to her. Oh SHIT! She hadn’t restored the charge! Shit shit shit. She repeated the curse in her mind as she clicked the charge cartridge into the loading piece. Why hadn’t she locked the outside hatch when she came back? A self-castigating litany played in her head with each turn of the small rotating lever that added a little power to the cartridge, added a little hope to her rushed plan to get the upper hand.

Without a loaded firearm, there was no possibility of competing against anything on this moon. She had always tried to make the most of her small size, but being just over 1.6 meters tall and 42 kilos was a challenge on the best days. And the only other human she had seen still alive was the murderer. The man who had tried to rob her partner and then, when the tables turned and then turned again, had brutally gunned him down in cold blood. That had to be who was coming through the hatch. 

She cycled the crank one more time and jammed the magazine into the body of the weapon. The firing bolt clicked and she thumbed off the safety right as his helmet and shoulders cleared the opening. And the goddamned contraption stayed silent. Shit. There was nothing she could do. If the charge hadn't been completed, the piece was useless. 

He led with the pistol, getting his bearings. Slowly, methodically he scanned the small space. The environment suit he wore was ungainly and the half textile helmet fell slightly forward or to the side, depending on how he moved. It looked like it was hard to wear. 

“Stop right there!” She yelled, deciding a bluff was her only option. “Stop moving and put the thrower down or I will shoot!”

He actually scrambled backward up against the wall, but did not drop the gun. Instead, he stared her down, having found her position quickly. As he carefully examined every detail of the scene, a slow, cocky smile stretched his face. “I can observe from here, your thrower is not primed, sweetheart. I do believe I have the upper hand at this particular moment.”

His self-satisfied smirk, the casual condescending endearment, and the calm way he drawled the words slapped her. Her face fell and the blood drained from her head. She felt faint, but somehow managed to keep herself upright. 

“So I will be seein’ you place your weapon on the floor, and now, I might add. Do it.” There was an uncompromising hardness in his eyes as he commanded her. His aim did not waver. 

There was no choice. She lowered the energy rifle to the floor, then raised her hands over her head. She wished she were wearing her heavy environmental suit and not the soft loungewear she had changed into hours ago. The normally modest top rode up and left part of her belly exposed. Her pants were loose around her hips, but the light blue fabric clung to her skin. She felt like she was on display and it added another knot to her stomach. 

The murderer’s gaze had changed when she revealed herself. A troublesome interest played across his face as he watched her. Settling comfortably against the bulwark, he looked like the cat who had found the proverbial bowl of cream.

“I do not wish for this to be an unfriendly occasion, but we have something of accord to come to. You see, I am in a predicament. I cannot leave on my own ship. The series of unfortunate events that have led me to your doorstep left me deprived of transportation. You, on the other hand have this decrepit drop pod, but it may prove to be my salvation.”

She noticed he had said “my”, not “our” and she refused to be removed from the equation. Interjecting when he paused to draw a breath, she said simply, “Don’t leave me here”. 

His eyes glittered, crinkling up at the corners, “Now, my sweet girl, I would not dream of such a thing. This is a part of our accord, of which we have just begun to negotiate.” 

He meant to negotiate with her, as if she had any power or something of value in this situation. Her jaw hung ajar with surprise. He was the one with the weapon. He could push her out of the airlock or take her, whichever was his will, then fix the ship and leave without a second glance if he wanted. This made no sense.

He looked at her thoughtfully, smiling amiably, “Do please close your mouth. That slack jawed visage is not becomin’ on you.” 

Her teeth made an audible click when she snapped it shut. “What do you want?” She asked pointedly.

At her question, his face turned mocking, tinged with interest and not a little humor. His eyebrows drew together and he pressed his head back against the wall, a moue evident on his lips. “For starters, I would dearly like to be free of this godforsaken helmet. However, I do not think you will allow me a moment of security in which to remove it. So let us proceed with your disablement. Please take this and assist me in bindin’ yourself.” With his free hand he tossed her a hank of light cording that he had detached from his suit. 

She held the rope, not sure what he wanted her to do. It was not her custom to tie herself up. Her confusion must have been evident, because he said, “Make a slip knot with a loop. Yes, like that. Now place your hands in the loop and tighten it down, just so.” He nodded as she followed his direction. 

His features shifted from pleasant to grim so quickly, it was hard for her to read his expressions. Her hands shook as she complied. Each step in the process pulled her farther from freedom. Not that she had had any hope of that even before his arrival, though. Her feeling of doom grew and she tried to watch for any weakness, but he stayed at the other side of the room. Too far for her to make an effective move against him. 

“Thank you. I will take it from here,” he said.

Faster than she thought possible, he pushed off from his falsely relaxed sprawl and closed the space between them. There was no time to react before her wrists were clasped in his left hand, his small firearm placed hard against her abdomen. 

When he held her securely, he let his thrower hang from his trigger finger and bound her wrists tightly with the rest of the cord. She tried to jerk away from his harsh, bruising grasp, but he gave her a vicious shake that rattled her body. There was no question in her mind after that. She was not strong enough to pull free. 

From there he pushed her into the copilot’s seat and strapped her in, positioning her tied arms so that they were further restrained under the X-shaped harness. Then he yanked the adjusters hard, securing her and spun the chair to face the center of the room. Satisfied with his work, he stood up and removed his helmet in a single fluid motion. 

“Kevva be damned, but that was unpleasant,” he declared gustily, breathing in a deep lungful of the air in the shelter. “My filter has been fouled for some time and I was approachin’ the end of my ability to draw breath in this putrid thing.” 

He smiled at her again, showing straight, white teeth. His dark moustache made them look brighter than they should have been. He appeared to be in his early forties with short, messy hair, which was brown except for a small patch of blonde at the hairline above his right eye. A thin U-shaped scar curled across his left cheek and his sharp nose, high cheekbones and scruffy chin were sheened with the sweat. A thoroughly disreputable person, if she had ever seen one.

“What. Do. You. Want?” She asked again, this time through gritted teeth. Her will to continue requesting information was growing thin. He seemed to want to talk about only the subject he wished at any given moment. And talk he did. 

He said, “I have a proposal for you, little bird,” his tone contemplative. He paced the small space and lifted his hands, gesturing philosophically. “You ask me what I want and I want many things. I want to be off this damned hell hole. I want to be divested of my harvest in such a way that leaves me well provided for and provisioned for the future.” He stalked toward her, his eyes thoughtful, roaming her face. 

“Wants are funny things,” he continued. “A thought gets in your head and can’t be shaken and then you find yourself wanting. I want to take a cabana on the shores of Lao, to watch the suns set and put all thought of this awfulness behind me. I want all the comforts credits can buy and long, warm days and nights in which to enjoy them. I also find that I want,” he paused, bracing his weight as he gripped the arms of the seat. His face was inches from hers. He looked her squarely in the eyes and said frankly,” I also find that I want...you.”

She was shocked into silence for the second time in only a few moments. What could she say? Did he think he could buy her? Did he think he had a chance of her not trying to take his life the moment he let his guard down? Life was cheap in this system and he could have his pick of feminine company back at the Pug, or whatever sleazy world he would hie off to from here. What could he want with her?

“By your yet again drop-jawed demeanor, I assume it is a rare occurrence that someone expresses to you their designs on your person,” he said. He tilted his head back and eyed her quizzically. The long, strong column of his throat was exposed to her shocked gaze. 

“I don’t know what to say,” she rasped. She blinked, trying to break her fascination with his audacity, presenting his vulnerable throat so close to her. He must believe her to be well in hand, indeed. She wriggled in the seat, but couldn’t gain an inch. Her lips were dry and her head was spinning. “I don’t understand,” she said.

He inclined his head toward her, as if imparting a secret, “This may come as a surprise to you, but I am a man with needs, just like any other. You are here, convenient, of the feminine persuasion and, if I do say so myself, appear to be quite delectable.” He suggestively ran the back of a gloved hand from her cheek down her neck. He paused for a beat at her shoulder, then continued over her breast to the swell of her hip, finally resting his open palm there. His fingers curled posessively into her yielding flesh. 

“I believe you will be able to assist me in that regard, should we come to an agreement. I also wish to attain my goals of escape and sales of my aurelac with all of my parts intact. In short, I want to have my cake and eat it too.” He grinned as if he was saying the simplest things in the world to an equal, not manhandling a captive. 

He was wrong about her rarely being propositioned. That wasn’t the case. It was just that no one ever talked to her or handled her that way when she couldn’t run away. Every other time that she had been confronted with this type of attention, she had been able to duck and run. She had eluded the rough hands and catcalls of the prospectors and hub toughs by hightailing it away from them. This man with his hands on her, making such suggestions was worse than those assholes, by far. He was responsible for her friend’s death and he had her tied and helpless, dependent on him in every way. He held the power of life or death over her and there was nowhere to run this time. 

She found her voice, hoarse and hesitating, ”You will get us off this rock and away safe if I, um...” She swallowed dryly and looked down to where his hand still rested heavily on her body. She found she could not quite bring herself to say the words. Her tongue peeked out to try to wet her lips, instead.

He looked her up and down, like a big cat considering its prey. His thoughts were obvious on his face. “Yes,” he said.

The brevity of his reply hammered home to her how serious he was. The ideas rushing through her mind gave her pause. It made her feel ill and not a little afraid, but what choice did she have, really? 

“For how long?” She asked, pragmatically. 

“Now that is somethin’ we should revisit frequently, as long as we are acquainted,” he said. Stepping backward, he seated himself on the center bulkhead. Shoulders canted forward, knees open, forearms resting lightly on his thighs, hands loose. A truthful stance, if she could be convinced that anything about this person was truthful. He continued, uninterrupted, “I would expect a period of no less than 30 cycles for you to remain in my company. During that time, you will make yourself available to me to assuage my desires as I see fit. On my part, I assure you, I will expect nothin’ from you that could be considered too far outside the realm of normalcy. You, however, shall retain no such restriction, should you choose to initiate events of your own devising.” he leered at her dangerously. The space between them was not nearly far enough for her liking. “That is fair enough for the exchange of your life and freedom, you will agree?” He asked.

“14,” she rebutted. “14 cycles.” Where had that come from? Was she really going along with this? Who knew what kind of perverted freak he was under all the flowery words? But staying here meant certain death and he didn’t really have to involve her in the decision making process, after all. For all his crimes and questionable behavior, he seemed bent on gaining her agreement, even if it was in all actuality, coerced. 

“21,” he grinned and leaned in close enough that she could smell his sweat and the dirt that clung to his suit. 

“20 cycles, ten points off your sale, and I’m free after,” she tossed quickly, not knowing where she was finding the strength to come back at him like this. He had her tied. He could take what he wanted. He could and she couldn’t stop him. But instead he was negotiating. What kind of man was this?

“Ten points? You are a mercenary after all,” he said, shaking his head. “We have ourselves a deal, birdie,” his smile grew broader, if that was possible. He removed his gloves, took her bound hands in both of his hard callused ones and gave them a brief shake. Then he turned to begin his work on the blackened panels that had billowed smoke much earlier. 

Some time later, he broke from his tinkering and declared, “As good as it will get, I suppose. Let us see if we can throw ourselves from this mortal coil to the waiting orbit which will gain us our future.” 

The starter key had been pulled as part of his repair checks and he now reinserted it. The launch process began. He flicked the switches and primed the machine, the same as she had done, but with a much different result. The mechanism purred quietly and he strapped himself into the pilot’s seat.

Barely a rumble disturbed the quiet pod. These last few moments had been the most peaceful since he had taken over. As he worked, he had not stopped talking. Anecdote after anecdote spilled from his lips as he regaled her. Talking and breathing seemed to be one and the same for this man. After the first half hour of non-stop speech from him, she had ceased giving him her full attention out of self preservation. Anyone who spoke that much could not possibly care if anyone was listening.

Instead, she had thought about her situation. The number of double-crosses leading up to this moment played in her mind. Damon had been greedy, yes, but this man had waylaid him in the first place. It was all too much for her to process, but she was here, now, and she had made a tacit agreement with the ruffian. For some reason, perhaps out of some deep denial, she was beginning to allow herself to believe in this deal they had struck. Nothing to do but bide her time. If an opportunity arose that allowed her to remove herself from the situation, she would take it, deal or no deal.

Trussed as she was, she had lost most of the feeling in her extremities after the second hour, but refused to speak up. Not out of fear this time. No, she remained silent from pure stubbornness, she admitted to herself. Not giving her captor the satisfaction of her needing anything from him was, as she saw it, the only power she held at the moment.

The takeoff was surprisingly uneventful for an aged, abused and overused rental. They attained orbit with the minimum of effort. The craft settled easily into its floating circuit of the green moon, matching the future track of the slingback’s return trip. 

A voice came to her through the disorientation she always experienced when being shot through the air at high speeds. It had never been bad enough that she had actually passed out, but the dark spots were familiar friends. Her eyes opened and she blinked them away. “What?” She slurred. 

He shook her shoulder. “I said, are you with me, girl?” His voice sounded sharp and irritated. The grav-plates had kicked on during stabilization and he stood over her, bending to examine her. He tilted her head back and lifted her eyelids one at a time, checking her pupils. 

She twisted her head away sharply and lifted her eyes to his. She tried to focus on his face. His worried face. He was worried about her? “Yes. I’m here. Just launch sickness. I’ll be fine in a minute.” She blinked hard and stretched her jaw, trying to find her equilibrium. 

“I am pleased to hear that. It would have been an unfortunate thing to have lost you after all the trouble we have gone through. To have it all be for naught would be sore disappointing. But here you are and right as rain by your own admission.” Satisfied that she wasn’t in a worse state than she was letting on, he turned away from her and began the process of removing his environment suit. 

The stories he told while performing the repairs had droned on so long that she had gotten lost in her own head. When they had launched, she was distracted by the physical effect it had on her and had momentarily forgotten her plight. Seeing his broad shoulders being revealed like that brought it all rushing back. He was wearing a thin navy blue shirt, but watching him remove the heavily woven, treated suit signified one less layer of separation between them.             

Her blood ran cold and she closed her eyes tightly. She took the extra precaution of facing the ceiling, trying to deny the situation her attention as long as possible. He would want her to make good on her bargain. Their time “together” had begun. 20 cycles and it would be over. Or sooner, if she had the opportunity. Her face flamed. She was to be his whore, or worse. What price for my life? she thought.

To her surprise, he didn’t approach her immediately. In addition to his pattering, pointless speech, she heard shuffling noises, folderbins opened and closed. It sounded like he was moving around the cabin straightening up. He had launched into another of his stories. This time about a rough takeoff he had experienced off some world or another, during another of his myriad harvests. Truth or fiction, she could not tell. His voice changed places around the room as the other noises subsided and then his steps drew close behind her.

“And so here I am. Another successful pull, minus a few colleagues and on my way again. Lucky to have met you, but have I really met you, girl? I do not even know your name.” She thought he must have seated himself on the same bulkhead as earlier. There was a bump as he disengaged the safety lock and then she felt the chair swivel. He meant for her to face him. Her eyes squeezed even harder. She wouldn’t answer him. Her lips pressed into a firm white line.

“Come now, I must call you somethin’ for the duration. Little bird is fine as an endearment, but as a name it is severely lacking. Do not be obstinate at this late hour,” he entreated. 

What was the point of not giving him my name? She thought. He will probably make one up and call me that if I don’t tell him. Or pry through my journals. “My name is Farra.” 

“Pleased to meet you, Farra. I am Ezra, if you had not gathered that from your eavesdroppin’ expedition in that poxy forest. I would be still better served if you would also open your eyes for me. This is no way to carry on a conversation. Very rude, indeed,” he scolded.

He still had not touched her, and she felt odd with her eyes shut so hard, so she squinted them open a bit. If he wasn’t decent, she would close them quickly and just continue pretending to be blind. But he was wearing a pair of lightweight long john pants and the dark navy t-shirt she had glimpsed earlier. His long, muscular arms were lightly furred, and he had taken a moment in his chores to wipe off some of the accumulated grime from his face and body. He looked almost presentable, if still very dangerous.

“Thank you for that,” Ezra said, smiling warmly at her. “It is disconcerting to speak to a seein’ person who will not acknowledge they are in the same room as the one who is speakin’. I believe we have a few details to hammer out before we get down to brass tacks, as it were.”

Farra’s eyes went wide and she leaned back hard into her seat. Her hands and legs were tingling and she couldn’t make them move. In fear again, fear that hadn’t really left, she said calmly, as if she had any control of anything, “Okay.”

He stood up hastily, startling her further. He put his hands out in front of himself several centimeters apart, palms up, showing her he wasn’t hiding anything. Regardless of his efforts, his approach made her compress herself farther into her seat.

“I just need to check somethin’ here, Farra. Do not be afraid,” he said, as he brushed her hair away from her neck. He gently pushed on the back of her head until she angled it down and away from him. “Ah, yes,” he murmured. “I see you are still current.”

Keeping her fertility inhibitor implant current was a prerequisite of all the outer belt hubs. A woman couldn’t get past onboarding without one, but leave it to a man to not know that. These communities controlled their population strictly and any possibility of adding another life to the stacks was anathema. Supplies were always scarce out here. Food, water, oxygen, all of it had to be carefully calculated and regulated. 

“Of course it is,” she said, looking up at him from an angle, her blond hair falling in her face. “You could have just asked.” A bright red blush crept up her neck and stained her cheeks. So this was how it would go.

“Certainly I could have asked, but would you have told me true?” He asked. “I do not know that you would,” he mused, answering his own question. Switching his focus back to her, he asked abruptly, “How many years do you have?” 

“20 standard,” she answered, matter of factly.

“I see, then. That is favorable, as well. It had not occurred to me to inquire earlier. Your petite size gave me a moment’s concern, but I am glad I judged correctly. I did say that we would commence shortly, didn’t I? Or did I fail to mention…” he trailed off, his attention drifting again.

She shook her head, “I can’t feel my hands. I think the circulation has been cut off for too long, Ezra.” It felt strange to say his name, all things considered. However, if he was going to insist on this “commencing”, as he put it, she didn’t want to be any more impaired than she was at the moment.

“Why did you not say so sooner?” He knelt, bringing his hands to hers, lifting and examining them carefully. “You are white as bone, my dear. This will not do.” He began to loosen the ties, but then stopped suddenly and looked her in the eyes. “Do I have your word that you will behave? I would not want to cause you undue harm through some stupid idea of yours gone wrong.” His eyes narrowed as he said this last.

Farra’s hands were indeed white, having lost circulation some time ago. Even as bent on obstruction as she had been, she was actually becoming concerned about them. “I swear,” she said, earnestly.

“You swear, what?” He asked, forcing her to speak her oath in full.

Reluctantly, Farra swore, “I will not do anything to try to harm you.”

“Or yourself.” Ezra’s voice was solemn and he held her chin firmly, so that she had no choice but to look in his eyes as she spoke.

“I swear I will not do anything to harm you or myself,” she said. 

He was being so in depth about all this. What if she had underestimated him? It would be a revelation if he turned out to be a thinking person, not just the brutal, thieving killer she had originally thought he was. In all her life, Farra had never broken her word. She didn’t want to do so now, but if her life was at stake...she would make that decision when she came to it.

“Alright, then, sweet Farra. Let us get some life back into these diminutive extremities of yours. I cannot have you losin’ limbs in my care.” He completely removed the rope from her wrists. The marks it left were livid against her pallid skin. Living as a floater didn’t give a person a lot of chances to take in much UV and it showed. 

Leaving her still harnessed to the copilot’s seat, Ezra chafed her hands between his. Hers were dead cold, but his hands were warm, if rough and large. After a short time of this, working her fingers back and forth and massaging the blood back in, he placed her hands back in her lap and laid his on them. “Squeeze,” he said.

To her surprise, she did. Weakly, yes, but a moment ago she would have sworn that she wouldn’t have been able to move them at all. “Thank you,” she said, in a moment of real gratitude. He had been so oddly polite this entire time, with his words, at least. It must be rubbing off. 

He studied her carefully. “Now that is somethin’ I thought I would have to wait a much longer time to hear from you, my dear. A genuine thank you.” He moved his gaze to their linked  hands, breaking his serious perusal of her face. “Though I must say, you may regret your momentary lapse before too long. As I said, I intend to make good on our bargain, Farra. Do try to behave and I will endeavor to make my attentions as bearable as possible for you. I am many things, but I am not a cruel man, as a rule.”

She heard what he said, saw his look, felt his hands on hers and resigned herself, finally, to what she imagined was ahead. If she could trust his words, she might not be in for something so horrible as she had been fearing. Regardless, this was not what she wanted. “Fine,” she said flatly, looking anywhere except at him. “What do you want me to do?”   

“You, yourself, need do nothin’. Leave it to me and try to relax.” He said softly, his lips close to her ear. With the same swift efficiency of motion she had seen him use before, he released the harness and pulled her up into his arms. He stood and waited a moment for her to find her feet.

She was a ragdoll. All those hours bound to the chair had made her boneless. She tried to raise her arms and found that folding them around his torso was her only option. He was much taller than she and the crown of her head nestled just below the top of his shoulder.

“Can you stand?” He asked, looking down at her.

His warm body against hers, his lean muscles and strong arms were overwhelming. Too much of him was touching her all at once. She felt fevered and would have fought him, if she had any strength left. Her words had escaped her again. Farra shut her eyes and shook her head against his shoulder. 

“Alright, then.” He scooped her up, one arm under her shoulders and one under her knees. “So high and mighty that she must be ferried everywhere, it seems.” 

His small joke did nothing to calm her nerves. She was still recovering from being restrained, dealing with the feel of him all around her and dreading what awaited her. Her hands, feet and legs tingled madly, almost to the point of pain as the circulation returned. She wrapped her limp arms around his neck for more stability and he carried her the few steps to the aft area of the pod. She noticed that the long flat cushions from the center bulkhead were now on the floor. One of the thin blankets had been spread on them and the meager pillows from the sleep kit placed at the top. A quick peek left and right told her that the rest of the space was neat and tidy. Just as she had suspected from the noises she heard, he had been clearing up. 

He laid her down on the padding and knelt over her. She turned her head away from him. One last attempt at negation of this whole situation she was in. She never should have listened to Damon when he said he was onto a sure thing. 

She felt Ezra’s lips on her bare neck, heard him breath in her scent, and shivered, deeply afraid. I won’t feel this, she thought. Her natural instinct was to fight, bite, claw, do whatever she could to stop this, but she knew she was no match for him, physically. She had to wait him out. Wait for a weak spot. 

Farra tried to block her mind off from her body. She thought about the view from the transport base, rebuilding the scaffolding and the gray-black background of space in her mind. Space and grey steel and stars on a blanket of black, repeating the thoughts over and over in her head.

Ezra undressed her slowly, pulling the loose knit sleep shirt over her head. Farra was bare underneath and her breasts slipped fetchingly from the fabric. The slight chill in the air caused her nipples to tighten and firm up like pink pearls against the sun-deprived translucence of her skin. He could see clearly the large vein that ran diagonally across her chest and traced it back and forth with one finger. Trailing the tips of his fingers down her chest, he felt gently along her ribcage to wrap around the dip of her waist, lingering in that space. He kept his hands there and passed his thumbs back and forth over her skin, tantalizingly faint. Then he began moving again, grazing her with his fingernails, drawing them up and down, creating pale pink lines from her belly to her collarbone, stimulating every nerve. 

Where his hands went, his mouth followed. Light kisses, pressing his lips to her skin, sometimes nipping with his teeth. Each caress was designed to set her skin on fire. He traced the line of her jaw and raked through her hair, spreading it out around her head. She tried desperately to stay still through all of this, but his lips and his hands were impossible to ignore. 

She gasped, pulled from behind her mental block by sensations she had never experienced before. His touch was so considerate, enticing, in the exploration of her body that she couldn’t ignore it. She had expected an onslaught. A violent taking. Not this slow progression of caresses, this careful manipulation. What she felt was so foreign and she couldn’t block it out. It felt…good. 

Ezra caught her attention returning to him and smiled at her until she opened her eyes and acknowledged him. His hands did not stop roaming her exposed body. She was so pliant, delicate, like the rarest flower petal. He took the opportunity provided by her shift in interest to reach an arm behind her back and arch her up to him. He framed her breast with his large hand and teased her nipple with a gentle pinch.

Farra drew in a sharp breath and stared up at Ezra. His smile, so infectious, became a glow as he saw that he had reached her. Her reactions were delicious, just as he had hoped. 

“Since it seems you have deemed me not totally abhorrent, would you be so kind as to assist me with my wardrobe?” He asked her, speaking against the space below her collarbone. The crown of his dark head rested just below her chin. 

Her answer was to gather his shirt and lift it slowly over his head. As she did so, his hands encircled her wrists, ready to immobilize her if she made a false move. So he doesn’t actually trust me, she thought. Smart.

She proceeded to remove the thin piece of clothing from his body, but before he released her wrists, he moved lower and took her small bud of a nipple into his mouth, sucking slightly. She moaned and arched under him, urging him to take her deeper. He smiled against her breast and obliged her, teasing the skin of her areola with his tongue. 

Until that moment, he had been lying next to her, half over and half off of her body. He hadn’t wanted to be too demanding too quickly. She was so obviously afraid of him, of this. He may have been a scoundrel, but he was not a brute. Now, her active participation showed him that he could be a bit more aggressive. He moved to cover her completely, his legs on either side of hers, arms bracing his weight, elbows on the mattress.

Farra hadn’t taken her eyes off of him once. Not since she had opened them with a moan and let him continue without fighting him. Now he was directly above her. His strong thighs bracketed her body and he closed the distance between them. They were breathing the same air. She could smell his breath, sharp and clean, and feel the warmth of it as he hovered there, so near her mouth. 

“I know we did not address this in our parlay,” he said quietly, his voice gravelly. “But I’m sure you know that a kiss is customary in these situations, and is considered quite within the bounds of normalcy. I will be making this a regular occurrence, Farra, and I do not want any surprises.” 

Farra was taken aback by his statement, the idea that even now he was referencing their accord, negotiating and probing with his words. Her response was to nod her head. She was delirious with sensation and it hadn’t even occurred to her to try to escape after those first few moments after he had laid her down. Her skin felt alive, and what he did to her body… If he wanted to do more, she wasn’t going to stop him. 

Confident that he had gained her compliance, that she wouldn’t bite or hurt him, Ezra grazed her mouth with his, as lightly as he had stroked her with his thumbs. He brushed her lips with his, a little harder with each pass. He drew her lower lip between his and sucked, just a little and when she opened her mouth, he tasted her. Lapping at her with his tongue, he mimed the penultimate act, in and out, he licked her there. She moaned and grazed her teeth over his tongue as he kissed her harder. 

This was nothing like her previous experiences. This musing progression. She knew from the vids and the foldies what this was all about. A girl couldn’t make it to age twenty and not know. Sex was everywhere, easy access, but she had never met “the one”. Her head was always in a book, or a flight manual, or learning the next gutter trade to get her to the next float. The rough touches and stolen kisses from the crass men she had been stuck with on the stations were nothing like this. She panicked and laid her hands flat against his firm chest. “I… I have to say something,” she said, turning her head from his kisses. 

“Then say it, girl,” he replied, holding his forehead to hers. “The hour draweth nigh.” Serious words, but his eyes twinkled and the lines at the corners multiplied. 

“I’ve never…,” she whispered, and this time it was his turn to be shocked. 

Ezra lifted himself a few centimeters, his eyebrows raised, and interjected, “Now, do not tell me that I may have the privilege to be your first experience in the art of love? That can not possibly be the case. For a beauty such as you to have remained unspoiled for all this time in this great world of trouble, would be a miracle indeed.” 

Farra, whose speech seemed to desert her at every turn, nodded at him solemnly. 

He balanced on one forearm and stroked his other hand down the side of her face to cup her chin. “Then I have struck an invaluable bargain, indeed, sweet Farra.” 

Hearing her name in his needy whisper made her shiver. This time with anticipation and not the persistent undermining terror she had felt before. This moment, this situation was right. Even if everything else had been so, so wrong. She did want this, she wanted him, after all. The apprehension and horror she had experienced over the last two cycles faded to the back of her mind and she raised her lips to his, lifting herself up from the floor to feel his body all along her own.

The growling moan that her capitulation wrenched from him was erotic in the extreme. The sound low and guttural, full of wanting. He redoubled his efforts, caressing, kissing her, pressing her down into the flat cushions with his strong, athletic body. They were still half clothed and he was quickly becoming frustrated with that fact.

He moved against Farra and slid his hand behind her, under the waistband of her pajamas and cupped her buttock. He kneaded her supple ass, the movement of his hand lowering her bottoms, exposing more and more of her body to his touch. 

She was so caught up in pleasure, that she wasn’t aware of being completely naked under him until he lifted her legs one at a time so that he was on his knees between them. He sat back on his heels, watching her.

Ezra ceased touching her and stayed there, like a man at a holy altar. Farra was spread out on the floor, eyes glazed and unfocused, hair a mess, splayed around her head like a gold halo, her chest heaving. The fierce hammer of her heart was clear in the vibration of the yielding arc of her breasts. Her waist and belly perfectly curved, the triangle of curls over her sex glistened with the wetness he had teased from her.

For once, Ezra seemed to be at a loss for words. Instead of his usual persuasive staccato, he simply reached forward and took her hands, placing them on his narrow hips above the waistband of his pants. The invitation implied, not spoken aloud. If this was what she wanted, if this was something more than a mercenary bargain, he wanted her to take the next step. 

Farra hooked her fingers into the elastic and pulled with no hesitation. His cock sprang free of the fabric, erect and laid nearly flat against his body. He was that hard. For me, she thought, and unconsciously wet her lips. She couldn’t look away. 

When she licked her lips, his penis gave a small jerk and he said, “We will have time for that later, my dear. For now let us just enjoy this languorous initiation.” His grin couldn’t have been wider.

She looked up at him, not completely understanding his reference at first. Then it hit her and her face, neck and breasts flushed. The bright color spread under her pallor, but she smiled back at him and laughed a little. It was all the invitation he needed. 

Ezra lowered himself until he was resting part of his weight on Farra’s small frame, their bellies together. Her feet were planted on the floor and her knees rose on either side of his hips as he lay between them. His hard length rubbed against her pubic hair and the wetness over her clitoris. She was so sensitized that she drew in a quick breath at the contact. She took advantage of having him right above her to kiss him there. His silky chest hair tickled her lips and she did it again, a little harder. His sharp intake of breath was music to her ears. 

He locked eyes with her as he reached between them, drawing his fingers over her slick vulva. The hot, wet folds parted easily and he slid his middle finger farther inside without any resistance. He held her gaze as he stroked her insistently. 

Farra made sharp keening noises she was not even aware of. She tried to lift her hips, to take more of him into herself, needing the feeling of, something, inside her. But he held her firmly to the floor, not letting her move. This was his show and she was the object of his attention. Right now, he would do what he wanted, and she would accept it. 

“Just relax, sweetheart. Give me a little of your trust. Upon my oath, you will not regret it,” he uttered into the shell of her ear. He took her earlobe between his teeth and pulled gently.

She did relax, then, against all odds, and let his touch and the barest rake of his teeth on her skin take her to new heights. Her hands roamed his sleek, muscled back, over the sharp wings of his shoulder blades. She reveled in the feel of his skin. It was damp with perspiration, but smooth under her fingertips and so wonderfully warm.

He moved his finger in and out of her, and Farra felt some discomfort. Not enough to override the pleasure, but a mild pinch inside of herself. Her vagina was so tight around him, as it was, but he added another finger, scissoring and stretching her further. Ezra worked her like that, getting her used to him. 

She was so slick that he gasped against her breast, where he was kissing her, worshipping her. His thumb brushed her most sensitive bud and she bucked against him involuntarily. Ezra’s grip on her kept her from moving much, but she was entranced with every sensation. Something was building inside of her and she had never felt this way before.

Their bodies writhed together, the perspiration from their shared actions making them glow under the sensor lights. Farra hooked her legs behind Ezra’s back, ran her hands over his shoulders and finally found her voice.

“Please, Ezra. Please, I want...I want you to…” She breathed.

He couldn’t resist this opportunity to make her acknowledge her need, “What do you want, Farra?” He asked, and pushed into her, holding still. Withholding his caresses and any further stimulation. 

She bit her lip and her eyes rolled upward, “I want you,” she said, hoping she wouldn’t have to say it.

“Do you want me to fuck you, Farra?” He asked harshly. 

“Yes,” she groaned, trying to make him push his fingers further into her needy hole.

“Then ask me nicely. Say please. Say it for me,” he demanded, ravaging her throat, leaving dark suckling marks as he kissed her.

“Please fuck me,” Farra begged him. “Please, please fuck me!” She was so far gone that she would have said anything to him to get to the peak she felt was just outside of her grasp. To make his hands move over her body again. 

With that, Ezra began to guide his thick length inside her. His earlier efforts had gotten her pussy so wet that her creamy juices flowed around his rock hard cock and coated her all the way down her ass. He shut his eyes and beads of sweat gathered at his hairline as he tried to hold himself in check. Her walls clenched around the tip of his swollen member pressing into her, deeper and deeper, chasing that sensation of her body’s need for him. 

Farra panted repeatedly, “Oh, oh, oh,” like a chant. She tried to do as he had said and willed herself to relax as he invaded her body. The stretch of him inside of her was such a strong, sweet feeling, but he was so big. The slickness he had coaxed from her was her only salvation. She kept her hips still under his, not wanting to ruin anything through her inexperience. The muscles inside of her were firing rhythmically, the way they did when she touched herself in private. It had always felt good when she used her fingers on herself, but this was much more powerful. The friction of his hot, hard cock inside of her raised that feeling to new peaks. 

Ezra paused as he felt resistance against the sensitive head of his penis, knowing he would hurt her, but wanting this too much. She had begged him, for Kevva’s sake! He also trusted that he could bring her back, too, to the pleasure he felt coursing around him. The shiver of her body under his as he took her told him that her need was great. 

“Little bird,” he said gravely, using the name to hopefully show her this was not a mean thing he intended to do. “Little bird, there will be some pain for you now, but that is the way of the world. I do not take joy in this, but if you will trust me, joy we may have.” He gazed at her earnestly, his eyes centimeters from her own. He held her immobile under him as he waited, in pain and pleasure, for her acknowledgement. 

Farra nodded and Ezra claimed her mouth in a deep kiss as he thrust himself fast into her. The sharp pain drew a cry from her, but it was muffled by his lips on hers. She felt so full, so overstimulated. The pain subsided quickly, but it was still a shock after all the indulgent touches and sweet pleasure he had brought from her body. 

When her breathing became regular again, Ezra allowed himself to slide in and out in slow strokes. He angled his movement to drag himself across her clitoris, building her arousal again. She arched her back with each thrust, each time drawing him over that part of her that was more alive than she had ever been able to achieve before. Instinctively, she moved with him, as he delved harder into her pussy. 

He began to talk to her then, but she couldn’t keep up with what he was saying. Filthy things he wanted to do to her, descriptions of what he was doing that moment, how she felt, wrapped around him, her wetness, her drooling cunt, he called it. How he loved to feel her squeezing his cock. He went on and on. She shuddered and felt herself coming apart. Her pussy clenched and tightened, drawing his length into her again and again as she saw stars and swirls of color behind her eyelids. Her whole body tingled and vibrated and she cried out over and over, “Oh!! Oh my god!” as she came. 

The overwhelming feelings were still at their peak when she felt Ezra change from his steady rhythm with a sharp cry. He began thrusting into her harder even than before, holding her body to his firmly.  His actions drew more and stronger contractions from her dripping hot pussy and she screamed in earnest; a wordless expression of her overwhelming pleasure as she felt the searing wetness of his cum spurt inside of her. He seated himself fully inside of her, withdrawing only slightly each time his cock pulsed against her walls, nearly in time with her own internal spasms. They wound down their movements in sync, slowing and then finally ceasing altogether. 

Ezra collapsed on top of her, completely spent. They lay there, wet from their exertion and arousal, exhausted. Farra smiled when she realized he had actually stopped talking. 

“Hey,” she said, after a minute or two of the silence. Her voice cracked, “You’re kind of crushing me.” The air had been pushed out of her lungs and she had trouble drawing a breath under the weight of him. 

His arms shook as he lifted himself off her and shifted to her side, disengaging their bodies. Ezra was flushed underneath his naturally olive skin color, and his hair was soaked with sweat. Farra lay flat, breathing deeply, and he adjusted himself to rest his head on her chest. 

How interesting, she thought. She felt his need to be held almost psychically. It was as if the afterglow of their lovemaking had given her some odd insight into this contradiction of a man. He spoke and spoke, and said utterly filthy things to her, used her body and made her feel so many things in the process. He killed and stole and bargained. And all along, some part of him craved this. He needed this attention from her.

This is an essential thing to him, she thought, and wrapped her arm around his neck, draping it over his shoulder, gathering his overheated body to hers. He laid his arm over her abdomen and cuddled her close. The light from the primary planet reflected through the window, illuminating both of them, naked and spent on the floor of their tiny pod. 

[moskaisley]

50 questions tag !

tagged by @acomplicatedprofession​ 💖 thanks friend !

1.) What color is your hairbrush?

black but i guess i dont use it anymore bc im bald LOL

2.) Name a food you never eat

im pretty adventurous w what i eat but i don’t like liver

3.) Are you usually too warm or too cold?

too cold

4.) What were you doing 45 minutes ago?

eating a grilled cheese and watching glee 😖

5.) What’s your favorite candy bar?

cadbury with hazelnut !

6.) Have you ever been to a professional sports game?

not by my own volition. was at a high school trip and they forced us to go to a baseball game. we ditched halfway LOL

7.) What’s the last thing you said out loud?

“what the fuck“ after watching glee and hearing puck say “girl u got more curves than a nissan ad”

8.) What’s your favorite ice cream?

ben and jerry’s cherry garcia 🍒

9.) What was the last thing you had to drink?

orange soda

10.) Do you like your wallet?

kind of? ive been thinking about getting a new one bc it’s too thicc to fit in some of my smaller purses

11.) What’s the last thing you ate?

ginger snap cookies

12.) Did you buy any new clothes last weekend?

no i haven’t bought clothes in a few months bc quarantine.  i’ve been wanting to go thrifting so bad tho 😭😭

13.) What’s the last sporting event you watched?

uh. that same baseball game i think??

14.) What is your favorite flavor of popcorn?

caramel popcorn!

15.) Who’s the last person you sent a text to?

group chat with some friends 🥰🥰

16.) Ever go camping?

yeah !! my parents love camping and they dragged me all throughout high school

17.) Do you take vitamins?

nope

18.) Do you go to church every Sunday?

back in high school 

19.) Do you have a tan?

not right now, but i tan really easy so if sit in the sun for like 5 seconds i’ll b like a shade darker

20.) Do you prefer Chinese or pizza?

chinese ! 

21.) Do you drink soda through a straw?

yes bc im a baby and have sensitive teeth

22.) What color socks do you usually wear?

black socks

23.) Do you ever drive above the speed limit?

always and i’m gonna pay for it one day

24.) What terrifies you?

the dark, covid, and the feeling of never being satisfied whatever i do

25.) Look to your left, what to you see?

a bottle of lube 🤭

26.) What chore do you hate the most?

LAUNDRY i hate doing that shit. especially folding 

27.) What do you think when you hear an Australian accent?

steve irwin

28.) What’s your favorite soda?

cherry pepsi ! 

29.) Do you go in fast food or in the drive through?

drive thru! 

30.) What’s your favorite number?

things look best in threes 🥰

31.) Who’s the last person you talked to?

my bf 💘

32.) Favorite cut of beef?

uh?? whenever i go to korean bbq i rly like beef tongue ! 

33.) Last song you listened to?

take me as i am by rina sawayama

34.) Last book you read?

circe by madeline miller

35.) Can you say the alphabet backwards?

very...slowly......

36.) Favorite day of the week?

wednesday

37.) How do you like your coffee?

either black or with steamed milk

38.) Favorite pair of shoes?

dr martens chelsea boots ! i wear them all the time during winter

39.) Time you normally wake up?

10/11 but i’ve been wanting to get up earlier

40.) Sunrise or sunsets?

sunrise 

41.) How many blankets on your bed?

one bc it’s too hot in the summer 

42.) Describe your kitchen plates?

white and ikea for 79c each

43.) Describe your kitchen at the moment?

Too tiny >:(

44.) Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink?

peach soju soda ! 

45.) Do you play cards?

no but i play mahjong!

46.) What color is your car?

charcoal!! 

47.) Can you change a tire?

nope 

48.) Your favorite state, province, country, etc.?

palawan, philippines is one of the most beautiful places in the world n i wanna go back 

49.) Favorite job you’ve had?

i worked in a gelato shop throughout high school and some college. it wasn’t the best paying job but ive got some good memories from it

50.) How did you get your biggest scar?

it’s on my thigh. i was swimming in the philippines and i got cut on the front of my thigh from a piece of coral. turns out coral is really fuckin sharp 

tags if you wanna take a whirl!

@tiffdawg @bella-ciaao @huliabitch @altarsw @ollypopp @romanticgumchewer @qveenbvtch