#i am lugging her out of the well and buying her new outfits and sending her to therapy. for ghosts.

[autisticaradiamegido]

day 128

sadako from the ring was correct and also my friend

lil timelapse under the cut cw for flashing images

[in-my-feels-probably]

INEFFABLE - Kaz Brekker

Chapter Fourteen

If you would like to read this on Wattpad, it’s on there as well, my @ is in_my_feels_probably and there’s a few visuals and better descriptions and stuff on there. otherwise, enjoy, let me know what you think, and you can check out my masterlist for updates and more. don’t forget to read the prologue, it’s important to the story!

INEFFABLE - Kaz Brekker

ineffable (adj.) too great to be expressed in words, utterly indescribable; too sacred to speak of. 

Chapter Fourteen

The next morning, the Crows had made it back to the train that took them through the Fold. They were lying on their stomachs behind their carriage, watching out into the field. Elham could feel that Kaz’s body was tense next to hers, and she scooted closer to Inej, her side touching Inej’s. Inej didn’t seem to notice the movement, although Kaz seemed to relax a bit.

“How many are there?”

Kaz looked closer out into the field, scanning the area around the train for men. “Two. At some point at least one of them will have to go tell a superior what they found. We’ll go in then.”

Jesper turned to the Crows on his right. “Not to be that person, Kaz, but...are you sure you can drive that thing?”

Kaz looked certain, and he sounded exasperated, as if Jesper’s lack of faith in him was unjustified. “Yes.”

Elham rolled her eyes, mumbling. “Because you’ve driven a train before, yeah, I’m sure you’ve got this.”

He ignored her, turning to Jesper. “On the way to Kribirsk, while you were busy hugging bait--”

Jesper interrupted. “Milo. The goat’s name was Milo.”

“I was memorizing Arken’s timings.”

Inej looked uncertain. “Not to gang up on you, but, Jes has a point. Arken’s system was complicated and the ride was chaotic. No one would blame you for missing a count.”

Elham and Kaz both turned their heads, simultaneously speaking. “Jes?”

Jesper smiled. “It’s Suli, for friendship.”

Elham scoffed. “I may not know much Suli, but I can guarantee it’s not. Or is Jes, here, right, Inej?”

Kaz didn’t let her respond. “Trust me. Arken and I think alike.”

Elham chuckled. “Saints, I sure hope not.”

Before Kaz could respond, an explosion went off, and the Crows turned to watch the train go up in flames.

Elham suddenly couldn’t control her laughter, setting her forehead on her arms rested out in front of her.

“Of course.”

Jesper turned to her. “Too soon to appreciate the irony, am I right?”

Kaz ducked his head down, closing his eyes, jaw clenched. Elham noticed the movement next to her and murmured quietly next to him.

“Hey, it’s ok. We’ll figure it out, Kaz. There has to be another way across...and if there’s not, I’m not opposed to Jesper’s idea of opening up a bar and brewing beer. I could be a barmaid, yeah?”

Jesper chuckled. “You? A barmaid?”

“Beats being Heleen’s little fawn, right? Besides, I’d be a good barmaid.”

He was still laughing, but the humor had left. “Yeah, you’d be just about as good of a barmaid as you’d be Queen of the Barrel. And stop joking about Heleen, alright? It’s not funny.”

Elham smiled at him sadly. “If I don’t laugh, I’ll cry, Jesper.”

His face was full of pity, and she turned away, looking back down at her hands resting on her arms. Inej leaned closer, brushing her shoulder against Elham’s.

“I think you’d make a good Queen.”

Kaz finally spoke up, the ghost of a grin on his face. “A dangerous one, at least. I’d hate to be under your reign.”

Elham glanced up at him, smiling. “I’d spare you. Probably. I’d at least consider it.”

He rolled his eyes, standing up, motioning for the Crows to follow.

---

The Crows used the last of their money to get a room, and Kaz had spent the last half hour trying to figure out what to do. Elham took this time to practice with her new sword, Jesper duelling her with a piece of wood he had found.

He was out of breath, flailing around the room. “This isn’t fair, you know? You have a nice sword, I have a stick. You’re literally called the Valkyrie, this is not a Jesper talent, why can’t we use guns?”

“Stop whining, Jesper, you’re fine. Keep going, I need the practice.”

Kaz scoffed in his chair, almost laughing. “No, you don’t.”

Inej came in, clearly amused by Jesper being chased around the room. She turned to Kaz.

“The skiff is still here. Travelers downstairs are complaining. They were due to cross this morning.”

Kaz nodded. “Orders from the Black General. He plans to cross on it tomorrow.”

Jesper stopped running, holding his hands up in surrender. “The General? Is that the same general who tried to, oh yeah, kill us all? And use Elham to build a literal flaming wall of fire and darkness? That one?”

“He has the Sun Summoner.”

Elham turned to look at Kaz, face contorted in confusion. How did he know that? And why hadn’t he told her? Was there anything she could have done to stop it, to protect Alina? Inej stepped closer to her, clearly upset.

“Was this your plan all along? To have the General get her back so you can take her again?

“My plan is to get us across the Fold. We aren’t prepared for another fight.”

Inej raised a brow. “So you’re not going to take another run at Alina? And you’re really willing to let a million kruge go? All you want is to cross the Fold?”

Kaz grumbled, but nodded, standing up.

Jesper stepped forward. “Hang on. Are we talking about boarding a skiff with people who will recognize us? People who don’t like us much?”

Kaz pondered, turning to Inej. “We’ll have to blend in. Who else was on that skiff?”

“Some people from the winter fete. Dignitaries from Kerch and Novyi Zem on their way home.”

He raised a brow. “And now they’re audience to one more light show.���

He was silent for a moment, and Elham swore she could almost hear the gears turning in his head. She leaned closer to Jesper, whispering.

“Scheming face?”

He nodded, whispering back. “Scheming face. We’re not gonna like this, are we?”

Kaz finally spoke. “Jesper, how did you enjoy playing a Zemeni guard?”

---

By nightfall, a plan was set in motion. Inej was perched atop a balcony, waiting to signal Elham. Elham waited until she got a nod from Inej, and turned to see a group of men walking her way. Kaz and Jesper came out of the alley behind them, walking slowly.

Elham approached the group of men, a smile on her face. “Excuse me, sir?”

One of the men stepped forward, smiling. “Yes, miss?”

Elham smiled, moving closer to the man like she was going to tell him a secret. He leaned in and waited. She set her hands on his shoulders, lightly gripping at his coat. She could hear the man's friends chuckling behind him. Before he could speak, she drove her knee up into his gut, sending him bending over and stumbling to the ground, clutching his stomach. She delivered a quick kick to his face, and he was out cold.

The man’s friends quickly scrambled to their friends' side, checking to see if he was ok. “You bitch, what did you do that for?”

One of them stood to move towards her, and she gripped the hilt of her sword, but Kaz and Jesper beat her to it. Kaz used his cane, Jesper used the base of his pistol, and they both swung at the same time, each taking out one of the remaining men, knocking them unconscious.

Jesper smiled, bending down to grab one of the men under his shoulders. “Nice job, love. “

He turned to Kaz, who hadn’t moved. “Are you gonna help?”

Kaz just swung his cane up into his grip, holding it up for Jesper to see. Elham rolled her eyes.

“Oh. Well isn’t that convenient for you? Elham...please?”

She sighed, grumbling. She hooked her arms under the smallest looking man, lugging him up. “Fine! Only because I nearly cut you earlier and I’m still feeling slightly guilty.”

“That was a very close call, by the way, I think you still owe me.”

“Jesper! I’ll drop him!”

“Fine, fine. Come on.”

---

Ten minutes later, Jesper had successfully stripped one of the men from his outfit, placing it on himself. He was admiring himself in the mirror, smoothing down his coat.

Inej was rolling her eyes. “You look fine.”

“Oh, I look more than fine.”

Without looking up from the papers Kaz was fabricating, he handed Elham the dress she had worn at the fete.

She grabbed it from him. “You’re not serious? Why does Inej get to wear the cool coat and I’m stuck in a dress again?”

“Because. We’re blending in. You’re supposed to look nice, like the rest of the wives who came from the winter fete will.”

Elham peeked out from the corner she had ducked behind to change. “Wives?”

“You’re playing Jesper’s.”

Jesper grinned, turning to Elham. “My love! I must say, I do like you in a dress.”

Elham grumbled, stepping out from the corner, once again in the dress. “First your wife, now Jesper’s, why do your plans always involve me playing a wife?”

Inej chuckled. “He had you play his wife? I would have loved to see that. You already argue like an old married couple, it wouldn’t be that much of a change.”

Elham’s cheeks heated up, and she suddenly found the fabric of her dress very interesting, fiddling with it. Kaz finally looked up from his papers, quickly changing the subject.

“Just be happy I’m letting you keep that sword strapped to your back. If they ask why you have it, just say you bought it in town as a souvenir or gift or something, and that you don't want it damaged in the cargo hold. I’m sure you can think of something dramatic enough that one of those pampered wives would say before causing a scene their husband would have to buy their way out of.

Before Elham could come up with something sarcastic as a rebuttal, he continued. “Alright, I made some edits to the papers. Should be enough to get us through the checkpoint and onto the skiff.”

Jesper leaned forward, looking confused at his paper. “Huh? No one is ever going to believe I’m that old.”

Kaz only looked up at him. “You tell yourself that.”

Jesper scoffed, clearing his throat and stomping off. Kaz smirked, looking back down at his papers. Inej smiled, and Elham called after Jesper dramatically.

“It’s alright, my love! I like older men!”

He called back to her, huffing. “Shut up Elham!”

---

The Crows were now in line to board the skiff, papers in hand.

The guard at the table spoke. “Consider yourselves lucky. You’re traveling with the Black General and the Sun Summoner, which means you’re about to witness the destruction of the Fold.”

Elham mumbled under her breath, stepping up closer in line. “Yes, I’m so lucky to be boarding with people who want to kill me, very excited to be here, honestly.”

Jesper stepped up to the guard, handing him his papers along with Elham’s. She stood at his side with her arm linked through his, smiling. The guard looked over the papers, glancing up questionably.

Jesper smiled. “I know. I look amazing for my age.”

The guard shook his head, handing them back. “Well, I thought you looked older.”

Jesper let out a pained laugh, and Elham hid her smile, grabbing his hand. “Come on, love.”

They headed to the skiff, when the crowd started whispering amongst themselves, glancing behind them. The Crows turned to see Alina emerge from the tent, a black cloak engulfing her. The Darkling followed closely behind, scanning the area.

Elham quickly turned back around, seething. “Please let me kill him.”

Kaz scoffed, using his cane to push her forward. “Not a chance...well, at least not today. I’ll consider it again later.”

---

They boarded the skiff, quickly moving to the back, hiding in the shadows, away from Alina and the Darkling at the front.

Jesper spoke quietly. “ Good news? It’s just as terrifying as I remember.”

Elham turned to him. “How is that good news? We’re completely exposed.”

Growling was heard in the distance as the Fold drew closer, and Elham felt her heart sink.

Jesper sighed. “If I’m meant to die today, and one of you survives, make sure I have an open casket.”

Elham gripped Jesper’s hand, giving it a squeeze. Kaz kept his eyes locked on the Darkling.

“No one’s dying today. No mourners, eh, Creed?”

Elham grimly smiled at him, and the Crows replied in unison. “No funerals.”

The skiff plunged into darkness.

---

A/N - we're in the last episode of content now, only a few more chapters to go! i hope you've enjoyed so far and are happy with the story, i'm excited to get the rest out and put the rest of those little details i was excited about into the story. we still have a lot of cool stuff for this episode to go through, and is could have another chapter out soon. let me know what you thought, and thank you for the support!