#i am eating my body weight in soup and napping with my dogs on the couch

[macfrog]

from mine to yours, wishing you all the happiest, healthiest of holidays. i hope you’re surrounded by love, light and laughter, now and always.

love you guys 🤍✨

[reddie-fangirl24]

Richie, The Patient Chapter 4

NOTE: Here it is. The final chapter of Richie, The Patient. I enjoyed writing this story so much. I hope you all liked it. I cannot wait to write more Reddie stories.

Support me on my Ko-Fi! Hoping that Richie would at least get a good night’s sleep, he woke up three times complaining about bad dreams and them vomiting into the toilet. All Eddie wanted was for this nightmare to be over. He wanted Richie to constantly annoy him and talk his ear off just like he always did. Richie was so sick that he couldn’t utter a word. Seeing him look so down was the worst.

“Relax, Rich, you’re getting it all out, just breathe,” Eddie soothed, smoothing a hand over his back upon racing into the bathroom again. It was a quarter to three in the morning. After trying to breathe, Richie felt another round of bile in his throat. His whole body tensed making Eddie hold him tighter.

And then he let go.

Everything let go.

Oh no... shit.

Richie was beside himself with guilt and embarrassment as Eddie cleaned him up. Still terrified of the nightmare that he just had, and his fever making everything worse, Richie sobbed. Thick loud sobs that broke Eddie’s heart to pieces. 

Everything hurt. His stomach, his back, and his head. He also felt horrible because Eddie loyally stayed up to make sure that he had everything that he needed. Eddie already dealt with enough.

“Shh, sweetie, it was just an accident,” Eddie reassured his boyfriend once he put on clean jammie bottoms and then tucked him back under the covers. “Take deep breaths. You’re just sick.”

“Sleep here?” Richie whimpered through the tears, grasping his hand. The face that he made at Eddie was so heartbreaking that he almost started to cry. “Please?”

Previously, Eddie went and slept on the couch, awakening to Richie’s screams. That felt so wrong of him to do. Whenever he was sick Richie just flat out remarked that he didn’t care and slept right next to Eddie making him feel safe. 

Eddie rubbed a cold washcloth over Richie’s face. Slowly, Richie’s eyes began to close, staring up at his face to make sure that Eddie was there. “I’m here, Rich. And I am not going anywhere,” Eddie assured him. And he did just that, watching him sleep.

The last time Eddie ever took care of someone was his mother when she was dying from liver cancer. He went with her to the hospital when the doctors told them the diagnosis. He agreed to let her stay with him and Myra because she couldn’t take care of herself. While he helped her with medication, cleaned her, and stayed by her side when she was dying, Myra never did anything.

Quite ironic when she was a helicopter if he even dared as sniffled. Myra snapped into a frenzy, locking him in their bedroom and avoiding him. She kept him in there for a couple of days. Eddie would have escaped out the window, but he didn’t. He wanted to.

 It was so suffocating to live with Myra. After thinking about the fifteen years when they were together, Eddie had no idea how he got through it. Every night when they crawled into bed, Myra wrapped her arms around him so he wouldn’t go anywhere. And the vile way she spoke to him. 

These last six months with Richie were the best. Richie let him be his own person. He was patient. And he loved him. Eddie felt so free.

Without any fear, Eddie kissed Richie’s sweaty forehead. He didn’t even stir. Holding his hand, Eddie hadn’t felt this way in a long time. Richie taught him that there was nothing to fear about germs. He was brought up to act like all germs were deadly, paralyzing him in sheer fear.

Getting into bed with his boyfriend, Eddie leaned his head in the crook of Richie’s neck and wrapped an arm around his waist holding him close. Although he was asleep, Richie knew that he was there, smiling lightly. And that’s what he was going to do. Protect his boyfriend.

---

The very next morning, Richie’s eyes cracked open. His body ached but it was not as bad as yesterday. At least his stomach had finally settled. Trying to move he winced from the ache in his back. Back problems were no stranger in the last month. 

Feeling the sun hit his eyes, Richie started to wake up more. His blurry eyesight was no help as he tried to locate where his glasses were on the nightstand. His hand bumped into objects, even dipping it into a bowl of water by accident. How many first aid supplies to Eddie have?

“Good morning, sleepy-head!” Eddie greeted him. He helped him put on his glasses. Seeing Eddie was the most wonderful sight. It was like seeing an angel. Dark bags surrounded his eyes but he was pretty chipper to see that Richie was awake.

“Hi,” Richie answered, his voice rusty. He still felt weak to speak but at least he no longer felt nauseous.

“I thought you were going to try to break Rip Van Wrinkle’s record. It’s almost noon,” Eddie told him, brushing Richie’s crazed hair out of his eyes. Oh, if only he could see what he looked like in the mirror.

Richie stretched a bit, yawning, and grunting from the pain in his back. Eddie relaxed him putting a hand on his shoulder. Smacking his lips together, that fermenting taste was still present.

“Want to sit up? Here, let’s get you out of that shirt,” Eddie advised, slowly helping his boyfriend sit up from the pillows.

“Oh, you’ve missed me?” Richie teased as Eddie placed another pillow behind his back so he could sit up. Richie’s entire shirt was sweat-soaked that it was damp. And he smelled like a wet dog.

Turning up his nose at the smell, Eddie gave him a sponge bath. “You’re going to have to take a real shower later.” That didn’t stop him from getting lost in Richie’s body. It had been so long since they really spent any time together. Richie enjoyed the soft sponge around his body making him feel cool. It was safe to say that he felt a significant difference from when he first work up yesterday morning.

Yesterday. He didn’t even want to think about that. Oh, he couldn’t bear to look at his phone to see the disappointing messages. When he first started as a comedian he was hit with some negativity here and there. But this, vomiting all over the stage in front of an audience was the worst. Ronnie was going to get her revenge in some way and it wasn’t going to be pretty.

“Are you working today?” Richie asked his boyfriend after he took his temperature. It was down to 99.1. A small fever. That was good, at least. Eddie was worried that he’d have to take Richie to the E.R. if he got any worse.

“No, I called in. Mr. Crosby said that he is happy to give me as much time off as I need,” Eddie told him, moving the covers back up on Richie. A tray of all his textbooks and notebooks stood in the corner of the room. Eddie must have a test or an essay on Monday. Eddie was so good to him.

“Good, you need to relax, babe,” Richie told him, smoothing a hand along his arm. He opened his arms indicating for a cuddle. Eddie smiled at the gesture, but instead, he tenderly patted Richie’s legs through the bedsheets.

“Maybe later. Do you want to try eating anything? I can make you some toast,” Eddie suggested.

For the rest of the day, Richie spent relaxing or dosing off to a little nap. He got up a couple of times in order to move his stiff legs around. He leaned all his weight against Eddie that they could have tumbled over.

Instead, he was mostly bed-ridden so he could get his energy back. As he watched a little TV or slept, Eddie stayed in the room attending to his studies. His stomach settled back to normal. Never in his life would he wish to experience how sick he was.

When he woke up again, Eddie was not sitting in the corner. From the kitchen, he smelled soup. Richie loved Eddie’s soup. How could that ex-wife of his never appreciate anything that Eddie did for her? Richie looked at the nightstand which was filled with so much clutter. His cell phone sat near the edge, charging.

Without turning it on, Richie knew that his career was over. Steve was never going to work for him again. Fans were angry at him for what they had to be of witness to. And who knows what Ronny was doing to make a fool out of him.

Out in the hallway, he heard Eddie’s cell phone ringing. It had to be Myra. Would she ever leave him alone?

“Hi Steve,” Eddie answered. Oh no, this was it. “Thank you, yes, he’s feeling better but he still has some recovery to do. Maybe he can talk to you later.” There was a pause until Eddie said. “You want to tell him what?... Oh, well I don’t know how he is going to take that but I will be sure to let him know.”

No. His whole career flushed down the toilet. For his entire life ever since he moved out to L.A. when he was eighteen he worked so hard to get where he was. He loved being a comedian. It was all he ever wanted to be. And now he let everybody down. He let himself down.

He let Eddie down.

“Richie?” Eddie’s voice was worried. He had been sitting up in bed with his head in his hands, crying. Circling a comforting hand around his back, Eddie lightly pushed Richie to his chest so he could gently rock him. “What’s the matter? Feelin’ okay?”

“It’s over...”

“What’s over?”

“My career! Steve just called you, right?” Richie asked him, avoiding Eddie’s eyes.

“No, no, sweetie, that’s not what Steve was calling to say,” Eddie assured him, brushing a hand through his knotted curly hair. 

Feeling a ray of hope, Richie picked his head up, so he could look at his boyfriend. “What was he calling to tell me?”

Unable to stand seeing Richie in tears, Eddie wiped the tears away with a tissue. “He told me that fans are posting get well messages to you. And Ronny actually tweeted something about you. Steve really said that you should take a look at it.”

Starting up his phone, Richie logged onto his Twitter account. He was tagged in over fifty tweets! Eddie leaned against him, hugging his shoulders in whatever support he could give him.

He clicked on the video that Ronny uploaded this morning.

“‘Hey all, It’s Ronny. I know this video is going to be very different from how I normally chew people out but this time, I want to be serious. I’m sure that everyone caught the Comedian Face-Off performance yesterday. There, I wad vomited all over by Richie Tozier.’”

Richie gulped, preparing himself for the insults.

“‘I know that what Richie did was an accident. Vomiting on-stage or anywhere is no picnic. In fact, it happened to me when I got onstage for the first time in a talent show when I was thirteen,” she giggled at the memory. “Oh boy, was I humiliated! But, what I am trying to say is don’t be hard on him. Richie Tozier, I hope you feel better. But don’t take this is a free card for me to start being nice on you,” she smiled, pointing at the camera. “Prepare for a rematch. Later, guys!”

To his surprise, Richie went through tons of posts from his fans telling him to feel better and sharing their own humiliating vomit moments.

‘“I can totally feel for Richie. I wish I could reverse what happened to me in class. Feel better, Richie!”

“‘You’re not alone, Richie. I was helping my friend with a magic show, and let’s just say I messed up the show - very messily. Looking forward to your next show, Rich!”

‘“For years I was ashamed that I got sick in front of a restaurant. Richie, you are not alone. I hope you get better. Please, make this a funny story ibn your act!”

Richie smiled so big as he read each tweet. Little did he know that Eddie was watching him, fondly. It was at that moment he realized how little time they’d spent together. Eddie had been so busy with his studies, working, and trying to put his divorce with Myra to an end, that he forgot about his most prized treasure. Richie. Had it really only been six months since they’d been together?

“I think someone is feeling better,” Eddie pointed out, giving Richie’s arm a tight squeeze. He even planted a kiss right on his shoulder.

Setting his phone aside, Richie curled up with Eddie into the pillows for some long overdue cuddling. As much as he loved performing he needed to give himself a break so he could spend more time with his boyfriend. His boyfriend.

“Thanks for taking care of me,” Richie said, and he meant it. He had spent so much time taking care of Eddie in the beginning when he first moved in with him. Because of the injury, Eddie could barely walk around. Slowly, he regained his strength because Richie never let him give in, even when he was ready to give in, admitting that he could never walk again.

Come to think of it, this was the first time in years that Richie had someone to take care of him. All the nights he spent miserably vomiting or had a nasty cold, or even a horrible headache - he was alone. Nobody to take of him. Or hold.

Eddie touched his hand tenderly, kissing it against his soft lips. He noticed that the man was avoiding his eyes, almost looking sad.

“What’s the matter? You’re not getting sick too are you?” Richie asked him. He knew how Eddie felt about germs.

“No, no,” Eddie told him, shaking his head. “I just... can’t lose you.”

“Lose me? Who says you’re going to lose me?” Richie asked moving closer. He attempted to smile. “You know how hard it is getting rid of me.”

Eddie finally met his eyes, tears surrounding the corners. “I thought you weren’t going to make it through the night.”

“Aw, Eds...” They cuddled together with Eddie’s head resting on Richie’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. He was so thankful that he was getting better. A silent Richie who was too sick to even speak was the worst. They stayed in that position a little longer, enjoying being together, feeling one another’s soft flesh.

“I thought you didn’t want to get sick, Spaghetti-Eds,” Richie sniffed Eddie’s hair. That was all the medicine that he needed.

Eddie hugged him a little tighter. “I don’t care. I love you.”

Quiet, Richie placed his hand on Eddie’s head, softly patting his hair. He kissed his forehead. “I love you.”

The man’s nose twitched, pulling away from the embrace a bit. “But you stink!”

“Oh, what a way to ruin the moment!”

“You should take a shower now.”

“Can we take one together?” Richie pouted.

Eddie dipped down to kiss his forehead. “Yes.”

“And then can we cuddle more after?”

Eddie snuggled up with him again. “Anything you want.”

“I love you, Eds.”

“I love you too, Trashmouth.”

[lifedefused]

New Post has been published on Life Defused

New Post has been published on http://lifedefused.com/week-3-on-the-camino/

Week 3 on the Camino

Day 15: The weather today was great so we knew we needed to take advantage of it and cover some distance. We stopped by an outdoor bar that Eric told us about because he stopped the day before. The bar owner was friendly and gave us watermelon which was delish. The walk was uneventful but I did start a new book called Rejection Proof. I thought it was appropriate learning the recent disappointment of getting the full time job. Very easy book and interesting. That is a whole new bag of issues I get to process and sort through. Do I stay and support Matt another year, teach part time and travel? Do I move back to US and start a new career? I have no idea where to even start with that. I will give myself a week or so before trying to decide. I felt physically strong today till we climbed. After the huge up/down, my Achilles was shot. As you see in the pic, it was 18% grade. I still had 5 miles to walk after so I ended up pretty slow at the end. I can tell you, carrying the weight in the pack, makes those types of things much more difficult with injuries. We are told there are 3 phases. 1 physical 2 emotional 3 spiritual. I am still in 1 with my body not cooperating with me. However, I got it done and the wolfpack was waiting for me in the village to sort out where we will be staying for the night. We found an alburgue that has single beds which I like versus bunk beds. It is much easier to get in/out of. The guys have been giving me the lower bunk which makes me feel guilty. So I like when it is single beds. Tomorrow I think we will cover a lot of ground also. The good weather makes it hard not to take advantage of because we don’t know when that might change.

Total distance: 21 miles Total time: 8 hours Money spent: 25

Day 16: Today we walked, and walked, and walked. The villages were so far apart we didn’t get lunch. I walked alone today and I stopped in a park to check my feet, 3 new blisters. Can a girl get a break?? Furthest distance so far. At least the weather was good. I called Matty and he had to walk “with” me the last few miles as encouragement. That with no lunch because there was no where to stop, today had me cussing at the 20 tractors I passed. Blisters, cow shit smells, and long distances, that is how I sum up today. However, the guys text me they got a private room for the 3 of us and a BATH. I had a few miles left so that was encouraging. At dinner we ate the normal menu which is 3 courses. I had soup, beef, and cheesecake. Pretty sure it is the best thing since being here but I was starving. The guys had the same and ordered burger and fries too!! Pretty sure I could have finished one off but it doesn’t exactly fit into the plan to lose weight while here. I am still hungry and bitter about today. Blisters and no lunch, really??? I expect a good nights sleep since it is the 3 of us versus a room of a dozen or more. Tomorrow it is forcasted to rain. Again, can a girl get a break??? For today, I hate walking.

Total time: 9 hours Total distance: 22.9 Money spent: 39 euro

Day 17: Rain & Rain today. We started off the morning with some rain. We left a bit later than usual because of the rain. I had breakfast this morning because I was still hungry from the day before. Usually I just have fruit for breakfast. Today I had what is called tortilla which is egg and potatoes and also had hot chocolate.The guys found a “don’t mess with Texas” sticker but the don’t was taken off. They made sure to take a pic and send to me. 😁🇨🇱 We put on the rain gear and walked 10+ miles before we hit the next village where we stopped for lunch. Then we walked on, in the rain. It seems as we get closer to the end of the day, my body wants to shut down. When we had 2 miles left, my Achilles got so tight. However, my feet are getting better as noted in the pics. It was a long day but a better than expected day. Ended with a nice group dinner.

Rain/snow is in the near future forecast, so a bus might be in order for me….

Time walked: 6 hours Distance: 17.26 Money spent: 42 euro

Day 18: I did not bus forward, I took the “train” forward. For a few reasons. The next few days are to be shit as far as weather. Plus….. I met this guy Mark, on the plane flying here. He has a son that lives in Leon. So I messaged him. Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately, he is available only for today. I decide to train forward. Forget the bus. I thought I would be so against it but this point I need a rest. So I am taking what I think is best for me. So, I took the train and who do I meet? Neil….. An amazing treat. A few drinks later…. Just what I needed for a few days. I still walked 12.8 miles today. I walked around Leon which was a wonderful city. I will wait here for the guys. When I told them I would move forward, I think they were surprised but supportive. I already miss them. I got a room to myself. I think Eric will be here tomorrow in Leon. The other 2 the day after. So I am taking a reset for now. At least that is what I am calling it. Reset to my Camino in hopes for a better experience moving forward. I just couldn’t see myself continuing down the crazy path I was on. For today, I had a great time with Neil going around the city. Distance Walked: 12.83 Time: Unknown Money: at least 65

  Day 19: Rest day. I spent the day recovering. I went out about noon to hunt down some ribs but the place was closed. I couldn’t find anywhere that was open serving food. They start lunch at 2 and dinner at 8. I did eventually find something to eat. I came back and took a 2 hour nap. About 5 minutes after I woke up, I got a knock on the door. Eric!!!!!! I missed him as part of our Camino family the last few days. We spent the evening together and even went for pizza. Matt says I am a true Italian now. The Italian’s go to other countries eat Italian food then complain about it. Matt also let me know that if we decide to stay with UMUC another year, it is likely we will move back to the UK for that year. Decisions to be made soon…. Plenty of rest today and another rest day tomorrow. Ramon and Philipp should arrive in the afternoon. Distance: 4.5 Money spent: 45 euro

Day 20: They found me! Today Romon and Philipp made it to Leon. Eric left late this morning and before I knew it the guys were here. Eric walked a short day today and the guys a fast day. I would like to think because they missed me. It is likely they just wanted out of the rain and a partial rest day. Who knows. But they made it and a day without them, that is enough. We saw plenty of other pilgrams today. We met a new one who got bit by a dog!! Who knew?!?! I had 2 dogs chase me at one point and bark but they never did bite. I would probably end up being not so nice. Tonight I am on a top bunk. I enjoy the top and it is nice not to worry about how I will get down with my blisters. Just ready to be a person in charge of their body. We will see….. I will go tomorrow and enjoy after all this rest. Time:None Money : 65 euros

Day 21: Three weeks down and another blister!! I feel like every rest changes the way I walk because one thing starts feeling better and then more blisters occur and start the cycle all over again. Today I walked part of the way with a guy named Neil. He is from the US but living in Japan for 30+ years. So of course we had a good chat. He stopped in the village before I stopped so I walked the last 7 miles alone. It was so long and flat. Of you look hard enough in the picture, you can see mountains ahead. Philipp and Ramon went on even further so for the day, I lost my Camino family. They caught up to Eric though. Maybe I will see then tomorrow but who knows? At this point, I feel defeated. My body hurts and I don’t know what to do to help heal. I am not winning the battle, that’s for sure. It scares me that we have more mountains coming up in a few days because of the snow and the forecast. I am struggling to stay afloat at this point and I only have about 2 weeks left to the finish. This is a true test of my will and determination because with everything going on physically and emotionally, something has to give. I don’t even enjoy socializing and prefer to be in bed resting and that is very much not me, as y’all know. I knew the battles would be hard but I never imagined this much physical pain. Every day I learn about more and more people having to quit. Fortunately, my injuries are not threatening just makes it extremely painful to keep moving forward. For now I am just thankful for no infections & no debilitating injuries. Said it before but…not sure how I will make it another day let alone weeks. At least today we had sunshine.

Distance: 21.08 miles Time: 8 hours Money spent: 28 euro