#i am curious on the thought process for choosing cassian though

[flat-neines]

And the winner is:

Armen!

She definitely leveraged her relationship to Varian in order to make a clean escape to the summer court instead of facing execution! She is also probably evading taxes from both courts too.

@a-court-of-moonlight-and-ire and @goldenspringmornings these were too funny not to share. "Cassian is the first victim" nearly killed me while in studio. But I do genuinely love the thought process you guys had on choosing.

For the acotar critical community, I wanna know what you think:

[featherymalignancy]

Hey so I'm really curious to hear your thoughts on the issues in the ACOTAR series. You mentioned in a past ask that you had some problems with canon and some of the romantic relationships there and I'd love to hear more! You have such a great grasp on the characters and their psychology and motivations so I'd love to understand more about your perspective on the issues in the series.

Hooooooo boy, loaded question for sure. I know there is a lot of contention in the fandom at the moment so I will try and keep it relatively positive/fact-based. Having said that, I would like to remind everyone that this is just how *I* feel based on my biased view of the story, so you don’t have to agree with them for us to still get along! ♥️

So my first thing is Illyria, because holy hell, problematic. So while there are number of fairly prominent characters of color in the story starting in ACOMAF (Tarquin, Helion, Thesan, etc) Illyria (which is generally accepted to be non-white) is the culture we get the greatest insight into, and it’s unfavorable to say the least. That is not to say that non-white cultures have to all be utopias, but I find Illyria to play into some sort of stereotypical tropes that are harmful. Aside from Cassian and Azriel, Illyrians are generally portrayed as misogynistic, superstitious, and brutal with a taste for violence. I just—-maybe the development is coming, I don’t know. But to be honest, the relationship between The Night Court (aka Rhys et al) and Illyria feels...imperialistic. Why does Illyria have to bend the knee to the Hewn City, and why is the Inner Circle not more obliging of Illyrians’ discontent over their role in the war and their desire of more autonomy?

My next is... *bites back a gag* mates. I just...I generally find the concept to be misogynistic and heteronormative (though someone pointed out that Thesan’s mate is a male, in which case the concept is slightly more inclusive but no less muddy in its parameters). And I know what you’re thinking “Cara, you literally have mates (include a queer mated couple) in Like a Lonely House”. Okay, you’re not wrong, so I’m sorry if this makes me a hypocrite, but the issue with mates (for me) is that the true beauty of romance is the choosing. Listen, there isn’t one person for you; if there were, the chances you’d ever meet them would be almost absolute zero. The reality is that there are THOUSANDS of potential partners for those seeking such a thing. What makes loving someone lovely to me is the idea that you COULD have had any number of people, but you chose your partner, and you continue to choose them over other people who continue to come into your life.

So for Feyre and Rhys (for example) to fall in love with the person who was chosen for them (even if SJM does try and make the bond more complicated than just that) ISN’T romantic to me!! As Elain points out in Tender Jar “What great honor is there in loving as you’re told?” I can see a younger me being enamored by the idea of falling in love with the person chosen for me by the sands of fate, but as an adult I am moved by the the sacrifice of the choosing. So for me mates is a big FUCK NO. Also, if after all the Elriel hints Elucien is endgame I will be furious because a) that’s lazy writing to just add a bunch of red herrings just to try and trick your audience b) frankly Lucien (and Elain, to a lesser extent) deserve BETTER than to end up with the person they were ONLY with because of the stupid bond. The whole thing about Jesminda is that she saw a Lucien for who he was as a person; he deserves better than to end up with his *gags* mate just because of the bond.

I’m gonna stop there because I don’t want to a negative Nancy, but I would just say it general that I am occasionally disappointed in SJM’s development process. It sometimes feels as if that she is going back to hastily patch or alter storylines and it can be clumsy and leave the characters looking bad or acting OOC. But also she’s a millionaire NYT bestselling novelist and I’m a loser who may never get published, so perhaps this is all just jealousy!

♥️

[shyvioletcat]

If you are still doing the dialogue prompts could you possibly do #98 nessian?

Sorry for the delay! I’m not gonna lie, this was a marathon to write. The feels kept taking control and taking me in complete opposite directions to which I planned. But I did it. Some feels were taken out but I’ll keep those tucked away for later. Hope you like it.

Nessian: All nighter, you and me. First one to fall asleep buys the other dinner.

Cassian had noticed that Nesta wasn’t sleeping.

She would stay up reading or doing menial tasks long after everyone else had gone to bed. Cassian only knew because he saw her when he wandered the house to relieve the aches in his wings. His wings had healed enough that visually the only thing different were the thin scars that now peppered the thin membrane. But on the inside, in a more physical sense, they were almost utterly unusable. At the moment he could only fly for five minutes, if he was lucky.

Cassian also knew it was nightmares that kept her awake. Because some nights he would find her sprawled on the couch, book fallen from her hands, and her brow would be furrowed and eyelids fluttering. It was in those moments that Cassian would take one of her slender hands in his and softly murmur her name. If she came close to waking he would flee like a coward, but Cassian knew it would crush Nesta to know someone had seen her so vulnerable.

Tonight though Cassian was the one staying up. Rhys had given him a task that was both extensive and urgent. With Feyre feeding more and more information to Azriel’s contacts and the battle with Hybern looming closer and closer, they needed every soldier that they could get. That included the female Illyrian’s. Rhys needed Cassian to come up with training regimes and incentives and just about everything else related to the matter. Immediately.

So now he sat in one of the large sitting rooms in the House of Wind on a couch in front of the fire, papers in his lap going over and adding to them. He hadn’t chosen this particular room by chance. This was the one that Nesta most often ended up in.

A little while later an incredulous snort announced Nesta’s arrival. She ignored him, really Cassian was surprised that she didn’t turn in the other direction and walk out. But she didn’t. Nesta just ignored Cassian completely and sat in an arm chair, facing away from him a book in her hand. Cassian let out a heavy sigh. She didn’t react, just kept her concentration on the book. Cassian sighed again dramatically and Nesta barely turned her head. Cassian took in a deep breath to sigh again but before he could a cold sharp voice stopped him.

“Don’t.”

Cassian smiled, “Whatever do you mean?”

“I know you’re there,” there was something hollow in Nesta’s voice that made the smile fall from his face, “so I don’t need you reminding me.”

“What else am I supposed to do when you choose to ignore me anyway?”

“You could leave,” Nesta’s voice was sharp as an Illyrian blade.

“Communal space Sweetheart. You can’t claim this entire room.”

Nesta sent a vulgar gesture halfheartedly over her shoulder and Cassian gave a small chuckle. But he knew something was wrong here, but he wasn’t sure how to get Nesta to talk about it. Silence now spread between them, neither of them making any attempt to break it. Cassian wanted to say something, broach this space between them, but when they spoke it was aggressive as they tore strips from each other. But now was not the time for that. If Cassian’s wings were… were what they had been, he would take her flying. Take her out into the open air and let her breathe in the sheer amount of space that flying gave him. The cold night air, the space, the freedom always made him feel better. But two minutes of flying, that would just be pathetic.

A heavy sigh made its way past Cassian’s lips and and Nesta’s head snapped up. Cassian quickly shut his mouth when he realised his mistake. He chanced a look at her face, well what he could see from where he sat, and even from his restricted view he could see her signature steely expression once again graced her face.

“Just so you know that sigh was entirely for my benefit,” Cassian said quickly.

“What possible benefits do you get from sighing?” Nesta asked.

“Well, it releases tension,” Cassian explained. “My thoughts had led to to a issue that I currently have no power to resolve. So the sigh…”

“I got it Cassian,” Nesta snapped, but it still seemed to lack its usual bite.

“Can’t say all my tension was released though,” Cassian said with a smirk. “Care to help me out with the rest?”

Nesta snorted, “You’re a pig.”

“Best looking pig you’ve ever seen. Am I right?”

“You are ridiculous.”

Cassian chuckled. Here they were. Where they always were. They we at that impasse where Cassian was willing to give everything but Nesta was going to accept nothing. Cassian sighed again.

Nesta snapped her book shut and turned to face Cassian fully now. She scowled at him and Cassian just gave her a feral grin. All Nesta did was roll her eyes.

What surprised Cassian was what came out of her mouth next.

“What are you doing?”

Cassian took a moment to fully process not only what Nesta had said it, but the way she said it. The edge was gone from her voice, the fight. Cassian thought that maybe Nesta was genuinely curious and maybe she wasn’t looking for a fight for once. He shuffled his papers and and sat a little straighter before he cleared his throat.

“Rhys wants me to figure out what to do with the Illyrian females. We’re having issues making sure they’re getting trained, those who have their wings clipped and those who don’t. The issue we’re having is that even those who want to fight are being held back.”

Cassian watched Nesta’s face as he explained his task and saw the way anger etched its way into her features. He had told Nesta of the plights of the female Illyrian’s before and she had been thoroughly disgusted. She surprised him further when she stood and walked towards him and sat at the other end of the couch. Far enough away that there was a healthy distant between them and she curled her knees to her chest.

“Can I help?” Nesta asked quietly.

Cassian just about fell of his chair.

Cassian nodded, probably a little too enthusiastically, “Sure, but Rhys wants this sorted as soon as possible so I was going to stay up for a while.”

Nesta just shrugged as if to say she wouldn’t be doing anything better with her time anyway.

~~~~~

An hour or so later Cassian’s eyes were stinging and he had stifled more than one yawn. He could also see that Nesta was fighting back sleep as well, but when Nesta told something to stay away it did. Well, everything except Cassian. But he had his reasons.

“I don’t know why this is taking you so long,” Nesta said as she looked down at his notes, “you’ve had to train without wings for months.”

Cassian knew she was just stating facts, but regardless the words still stung. And the words that he said next came out with a little more fire than he intended.

“Because, Sweetheart, that’s not what I’m working in at the moment.” Cassian’s wings ruffled a little in frustration which only caused him to wince.

Nesta just watched him the whole time, grey-blue eyes critical and demanding answers.

“Right now,” Cassian continued, “I’m working on figuring out ways for make sure that the females do get trained.”

“Why am I looking at this then?” Nesta asked shaking the paper in front of her. “I don’t know anything about what training Illyrian warriors.”

“To make sure it makes sense,” Cassian supplied.

“I’m your proof-reader?!” Nesta exclaimed. Then she snatched the papers that Cassian held in his lap and practically threw down the ones that she held in her hand in their place. “If I’m going to help you give me something constructive to do.”

Cassian just watched the whole thing unfold in front of him before he spoke, “Because you obviously have so much experience and knowledge about getting Illyrian Lords to do what you want?”

Nesta shot him a glare. “Males are males. They all work the same. And seeming as you’ve been trying for years and nothing has changed, maybe it needs a set of fresh eyes.”

It was a decent argument and Cassian didn’t fight it because, although he would never admit it, he was indeed out of ideas. But he had also barely touched these training regimes, they were very basic and would do great for the first few weeks but beyond that… He was in for a very long night. He watched Nesta study the pages in front of her, pen tapping against her lip as she went over the words.

Then, maybe because Cassian was over tired or because he was foolish, he said, “Why don’t we make this interesting? All nighter, you and me. First one to fall asleep buys the other dinner.”

Nesta didn’t even look up before she quipped, “Is that the only way you can get a date Cassian? By making bets?”

“I never said anything about a date Sweetheart,” Cassian threw all the swaggering arrogance he could into his voice. “Is there something you want to ask me?”

Nesta just shook her head.

“Nesta, clearly your mind is circling around certain ideas if that’s the conclusion you jumped to. I…”

“Fine, whatever,” Nesta said, still looking down at the pages in front of her. “Just shut up.”

~~~~~

Nesta fell asleep first. Out of the corner of his eye Cassian had watched Nesta slowly slump further and further down on the couch, head nodding to the side every so often. Now she was curled on her side, legs stretched out a little so that her feet almost touched him. Nesta had lost the bet, she would have to buy him dinner.

Realising that he had read the same three sentences over again for the third time but they still made no sense Cassian put down his papers on the floor beside the couch. The dilemma he now faced was if he should tell Nesta that she had lost and that she owed him dinner. She would likely spit fire and curse his name into eternity if he did. But maybe, just maybe, if he lied and and told her that he had fallen asleep first she would agree to dinner as she gloated in a small triumph over him.

As Cassian settled into the couch to make his deception believable he smiled to himself. He was hopeful and was looking forward to his dinner with Nesta Archeron.