#i am certain minimum 50% of all boys in that town played hockey as kids

[muirneach]

in my hunt for information on my university’s hockey history um. well for some reason our lacklustre team is relevant enough for an article on ice hockey fandom wiki??

[jungnoir]

babysitter!monsta x;

a/n: hello!! so if you’re new to this little babysitter!kpop group series, you can read the first “installment”, babysitter!got7, here and the second, babysitter!bts, here! for this request~ also, it’s been a while since it happened but i hit 1200 followers, so thank you so much and i hope i can keep writing for you lovelies :D

hoseok

so!! the general gist of this whole series is several kpop groups all kinda find themselves broke af in high school and split up into different groups as a part of this huge babysitting conglomerate

initially, hoseok is the first one to find out about this cool group of fourteen other teenage guys who literally just go around town babysitting for dough

and hoseok knows no sane person would give them a serious job at this age so he’s like!!! hey guys let’s do babysitting for money!

which sounds like a pretty good idea to the guy cause i mean he likes kids and... hey.... it’s money. what could go wrong?

everything, hoseok. so many things 

at first, hoseok is kinda shy with the kiddos he first meets, but once he gets a nice idea of their personalities, he’s “all in” (pls laugh)

50% meme 50% jungle gym 100% all man

hoseok is so strong and flexible like??? the kids love hanging off him and using him to climb around on

he once asked kihyun if it was appropriate to benchpress the kids

kihyun hit him

kids love hoseok bc he’s very energetic

hoseok usually gets the energetic kids anyway when they work, because he’s got so much energy and excitement and he’s so fun that the kids with even the worst amounts of stamina pretty much wear themselves out at some point with him

kids also love him because he always lets them win

like most of the kids he babysits have older siblings who think their siblings are annoying bc of all the energy they have and usually won’t play with them at all

so hoseok is like??? why give them more grief when they barely get to work those chubby legs elsewhere

it’s almost kinda ridiculous the lengths he goes to to put a smile on a kid’s face

like they’ll be playing hide and seek or something and he’ll hide behind a water bottle or something

if it makes the kid proud they found him, then he doesn’t care :)

hoseok has to beware sitting down on the ground bc like,,, flocks of children will just come at him at once and pummel him to the ground

the last time that happened he got kicked in the head like four times

kids love getting picked up by babysitter hoseok ok

since he’s so strong and can basically juggle tons of kids at once

like a lil kiddo will hold their hands out to him bc they want to get picked up and he’ll just scoop em up in one arm without much thought and the other kids are like :O 

kid: you’re really strong!

hoseok: yeah? i’m strong like superman?

kid: *nodding enthusiastically*

hoseok: *leans in like he’s telling them a secret* that’s because... i am

kid: !!!!

he has this little inside “secret” among some of the kids that he’s superman so sometimes the kid will be talking to their friends at the park while hoseok is there and the kid will almost let slip that they know superman

and hoseok will make eye contact with them and put his finger up to his lips with a grin and the kid will wink at hoseok and turn back to their friend and be like anyway!! let’s go play on the slides 

it gets so bad that he gets a call from a parent one day like “hey uh... my son keeps saying he wants superman to fly up to his window and read him dr. seuss???”

and hoseok is like “tell him superman has to enter by the front door today, i’m on my way”

he’s always on call and always dependable like that bc these kids steadily become his pride and joy and he really just wants them to have that big brother figure that they can look back on as a happy memory

and in most people’s opinion, he’s doing a pretty great job

changkyun

this child is... help him

changkyun is very apprehensive when hoseok brings up the idea of them babysitting

it’s not that he doesn’t like children per se, it’s just that they tend to scare him... kind of

he finds their opinion of him reflects what kind of person he really is so if a kid is cold to him he’ll think “oh my god... i’m a terrible person... did i kill someone in my past life? i must have killed someone, the child knows”

but he’s also the youngest out of them all so most people think he might be better with kids?? lmao like that makes a difference

but when changkyun first babysits, the kids are kind of in their own world so he thinks he’ll just do the minimum and then stay out of their way

until he’s like watching the avengers on tv (bc that’s the highest movie rating he can watch around the children) and one of the kids just. climbs. into his lap.?.

and changkyun is like um

and the kid curls up against his chest and lays their head on him and wraps their little hands around his arm and is all comfortable

and changkyun awkwardly lays his arm across their lap and the kid snuggles into him and actually falls asleep on him!!!

and changkyun is literally ded like this is the cutest thing that has ever happened to him ever

he’s thinking the child trusts me!! they’re snuggling into me!! they’re drooling on- hey wait a minute

then the other shows up and curls against his other arm and falls asleep and he’s just :DDD

the three of them end up falling asleep like that and when the parents come home, changkyun is passed out on the couch with the kiddos laying every which way all over him and snoring into the atmosphere but it’s the cutest thing

from that day on, changkyun just gets so cute around kids

he practices their names before he babysits, he sets out special games in case they wanna play, and he even brings snacks for them too like he’s so serious about being prepared

bc his voice is naturally deep, he always has to make it sound softer so the kiddos don’t get disturbed by it

he can really only talk the way he usually does around the kids he’s known longer

but one time a kid he had babysat for a while had surprised him and when he yelled his voice was so much lower than the kid remembered and they were like UHHHH

but after that, the kids make him speak in a really low voice like darth vader bc they think it’s pretty cool

somehow always ends up with hair accessories in the weirdest places when he gets home

there’s like a pile on his desk and whenever people come over they’re like changkyun do you have something to say

and since changkyun is the youngest he can’t blame it on a sibling so he’s like,,, i can explain

tbh if any of the boys sit in on one of changkyun’s babysitting dates they’d have so much blackmail fodder it’s not even funny

but changkyun would pretty much do anything for his kids

if it means dressing up like harley quinn and getting his hair died with kool-aid, he’ll live

bc at the end of the day, he’s happy and the kids are happy and it’s probably the most fulfilling job to him so he can never really complain

minhyuk

hello here is lee “i want to have my own kids soon” minhyuk

this boy has been ready for fatherhood since he was born

but no really he was probably the happiest to start babysitting

he doesn’t even really care about the money like he’s just happy to be here

he just has this nice warm aura that makes kids so comfortable instantly 

minhyuk: hello!! i’m minhyuk, but you can call me minnie :)

kid: like minnie mouse?

minhyuk: i don’t know... *pulls out a pink polka dot clip on bow out of nowhere* you tell me

kid: :O

he has this v special voice for talking to kiddos and it literally just shocks ppl over the age of twenty when they hear him use it???

like he’s just hanging with hoseok and then he gets a call from the parents of one of the kids and they’re like “can you babysit this friday?? we’re having date night” and the kid jumps on the phone like “minnie!!”

and minhyuk immediately changes to Cute Voice Mode and hoseok is so like.... whoa... who is this man

minhyuk is the best with kids that are super young bc they literally just flock to this sweet childish man??? like older kids kind of roll their eyes at him but the babies see him as like an idol

when minhyuk can’t avoid babysitting the older kids, he tries his damn hardest to relate to them

“how do you do, fellow kids”

no but jokes aside, it’s not necessarily that it’s hard to relate, it’s just that the older kids kinda hate that they have a babysitter

especially this goofy dude who’s supposed not that much older than their older sibling??

but oh... they haven’t realized the power they have at their fingertips

if they ask if their friends can come over, he plays the cool older brother card

every one of their friends is always like!!! who’s this hot dude chilling in your living room???

minhyuk just laughs and is like “a friend of (insert sibling/relative that lives in the house that would seem the least suspicious), don’t mind me. do you guys wanna order a pizza or something?”

and no matter who, almost always those friends never find out minhyuk’s the babysitter

so the older kids end up opening up to minhyuk bc they realize that he’s actually pretty cool and he’s not just great with lil kids

and that minhyuk has a lot of cool, random talents

so he grows the title of cool older brother from most of the kids he regularly babysits and it warms his heart soooooo much he loves being a big brother figure to them

and he’s always there to give advice or even go the extra mile as to take them places if he’s free

like “you wanna go to the arcade and your mom said it was cool?? i’m on the way prepare to get your butt kicked in table hockey”

or “you need someone cool to drop you off at prom cause you didn’t get a date this year?? should i wear the blue tie or the red one”

i believe minhyuk doesn’t have siblings so being something of one to all these kiddos is really refreshing for him and it really just makes him feel like he’s needed which is what he loves

and a lot of people are pretty much certain he’ll be the best dad when the time comes because he’s literally great with kids of all shapes, sizes, and personalities and he can never not brighten up even the saddest child

also this!!!

hyunwoo

someone help him

was about as apprehensive as changkyun, but unlike changkyun, didn’t warm as fast to the idea of babysitting as changkyun

i mean he wanted to do it and he’s pretty much a dad to the boys already but like...... what if they don’t like him

that’s literally all he cares about

he frets about it every time he gets assigned a kid no matter how long he’s been babysitting because he just!!! wants to be liked by the children and he doesn’t want it to be awkward but he still makes it awkward 

but he can get away with it sometimes because he’s cute so

and minhyuk and hoseok are always like hyunwoo!! stop being tense! it makes the children tense

and hyunwoo is like “I WOULD IF I COULD I SWEAR TO GOD”

he literally has to start off suuuuuper small like he has to assist kihyun while he babysits bc he’s that bad

kihyun gives him one (1) task and it’s to put a diaper on the baby and like not even a minute after kihyun leaves him to it hyunwoo walks into the living room with the naked baby with this helpless look on his face

and kihyun is so done

while the other kids are laughing their asses off at this grown man who looks like he’s putting together a rubix cube when it’s just a baby’s diaper. hyunwoo. please

but he ends up finally learning all the basics at some point, so he’s allowed to start work with the first kid

but the kid is like?? crying??? not two seconds into meeting hyunwoo for the first time

so he just stands there all awkward and kinda heartbroken bc he really wanted to make a good impression and yet he already made the baby cry

even tho the mother assures him that the baby is just nervous bc it’s his first time being away from his parents hyunwoo is just like beating himself up over it and blaming himself and regretting everything

but eventually, the parents leave, and the kid quiets down

hyunwoo sets him down and the kid just kinda walks away and hyunwoo thinks he’s trying to run away from him but everywhere hyunwoo goes, the child is just quietly following behind

when hyunwoo goes to make lunch, the kid is just peeking around the corner at him with wide eyes, like he’s trying to figure out if hyunwoo is a threat

and at first hyunwoo is really confused abt it bc whenever he would walk up to the kid he’d sprint off in another direction, but if he just kept his distance and “ignored” him, the kid would follow him around, even chancing to stand or sit right next to hyunwoo if he did a particularly good job of ignoring him

so hyunwoo feels bad but he also knows that trying to initiate things on his own would probably result in a mess and maybe more crying so he just keeps to himself, watching tv on the couch and pretending he doesn’t even notice the child

and he tries his best not to grin in triumph when the kid clumsily climbs onto the couch and cuddles into hyunwoo’s side, laying up against him as they watch cartoons together

hyunwoo isn’t even really sure if he’s done a good job by the time his job is over??? like he’s utterly lost on what to say to the kid’s parents when they come back and ask how it was bc tbh he felt more like he was taking care of a cat instead of a child

but once they pay him and hyunwoo is about to take his leave, he feels something thud against his calf and he freezes, looking down to see what had just smacked into him

and it’s the kid, arms linked tight around hyunwoo’s leg with tears in his eyes and a pout on his lips “don’t go, please :(” 

hyunwoo can’t even hear the mother coo over her son because hyunwoo is on cloud nine now

and he’s so endeared when he crouches down to be face to face with the kid bc the kid doesn’t run off or cower under hyunwoo’s steady gaze like usual

“i can babysit again, if you want! but next time, you’re going to have to talk to me, you can’t just run away every time i look at you, okay?”

and the kid shyly nods and shocks hyunwoo even more when he throws his tiny arms around hyunwoo’s neck and yanks him into a tight hug. so tight that the mom actually has to pry him off so hyunwoo can get home before it gets too dark out, and the whole way home hyunwoo is just so proud of himself like “who said son hyunwoo couldn’t babysit? well, everyone, but i proved myself wrong so it doesn’t matter”

after that he just becomes a whiz with the quieter kids bc they find him to be just like him and they feel much more comfortable around him than the more intrusive babysitters and hyunwoo ends up finding his calling :”)

kihyun

made for this

initially awkward like hyunwoo but not as bad as hyunwoo

the nervousness is just bc he’s never really taken care of other people’s kids before so he just needs to find his way

but it surprisingly comes very easy to him??

like he already kind of takes on the motherly role in his group of friends bc he’s literally the only one with any common sense (don’t get him started on last year’s impromptu boy’s trip to the skiing mountains. hyungwon got left behind at the bus stop, minhyuk lost his phone in the taxi to kihyun’s house, hoseok only brought earphones and a bottle of water, hyunwoo forgot to pack underwear, jooheon ended up getting there safely but left to go back home and sleep as soon as he saw the state of the other boys, and changkyun didn’t even bother bringing more than two sets of clothes because “it weighed too much”)

kihyun swore he’d never let that disaster repeat itself

so from then on he’s been kind of the one that takes care of everyone else, even if he does it with a snarky attitude and a scowl on his face (jooheon said his scowl is cute but kihyun almost drop kicked him for it)

when kihyun first gets assigned kids, he tends to fold up in on himself at first, liking to observe and see exactly what he was working with before he made any hasty moves

which usually works for kihyun bc he can really just look at a kid for three minutes and he instantly knows what he needs to tame and what he can work with

he also tends to adopt a very distinct stern tone that minhyuk affectionately calls the “mom voice”

which is startlingly nostalgic when you hear it bc it’s like shit. when did my mom get here?? oh wait nevermind it’s just kihyun yelling at hoseok again

it usually works on kihyun’s regular set of kids quite well so even though he’s more of a warden than a babysitter to them, he’s fine with that

until he meets his match, of course

he doesn’t even get a chance to check out this new kid bc she’s already checking him out

like instantly when she sees him she goes to her mom and is like “he looks like a killjoy”

and right off the bat kihyun is like “i’d take offense to that but i don’t accept insults from people 1/4 my size”

and the kid’s mom is almost appalled at kihyun but then the little girl is smirking to herself, telling her mom to head to work and that she and kihyun would get along just fine

which is a Lie

kihyun has never in his life met someone so stubborn in such a small body like does this kid eat anger for breakfast

no matter what he says to her, she insists on doing the exact opposite and his mom voice does not work on her at all

the kid probably threatens to call the police every time he tells her to finish her veggies

like it literally feels like god created this child just to test kihyun?? he’s almost convinced that maybe she’s being promised a later bedtime or a trip to disneyland with the way she sticks to her role of the ultimate brat

like kihyun is absolutely exhausted after the first time he babysits her, but he’s completely lost when the little girl’s mother tells kihyun that she wants him to babysit again, bc the kid “liked him a lot”

so the second time kihyun babysits, he’s a little more wary of the child and thinks to himself that maybe the kid actually had something up her sleeve bc why would she request him again when last time all they did was bicker?

she still remains a practically untamable brat but she does tend to chill at times, which kihyun is eteranlly grateful for bc he swears if he didn’t have that pastel pink hair, he’d be able to see a whole patch of grey strands on his head by now

yet she still keeps asking him to babysit

so one day he’s managed to get her to sit still for a movie, kihyun on his phone texting hyungwon about how much trouble the lil girl is when he gets an urge to pee so he leaves his phone on the couch and rushes off to the bathroom

and the lil girl is obv curious as heck so she reaches over and reads his texts

by the time kihyun comes back, he’s wide-eyed, looking at this kid whose only emotions seemed to be rage and slightly calmer rage, crying on the couch with his phone clutched in her tiny hands

immediately kihyun clicks into protective mode and rushes over to kneel before her, looking around her to see if maybe she had hurt herself or if she was feeling sick, but then she speaks through sniffles “do you... really hate me?”

and kihyun freezes, looking at the open conversation on his phone before looking back to the little girl who looks so heartbroken by what he said

and he isn’t really sure why she would care with the way she treats him, so he’s just like “well, don’t you hate me? I thought this was a mutual thing” and he tries to awkwardly laugh it off, but she shakes her head stubbornly as always, pouting down at him

“you’re the only babysitter that’s ever come back”

kihyun swore he might��ve burst into tears right then and there but instead he just pulled her into his arms and held her as she cried into him, patting her back and whispering “it’s alright, kiddo. i don’t actually hate you. i could never. who else could be as witty as you are with me?”

and she’s just like “really?” in a really vulnerable voice

and it becomes apparent to kihyun that her acting out was a call for attention, as she was an only child and her mom was always working so she rarely ever got to see anyone except the front door pouring in babysitter after babysitter that didn’t care about her, just the money they got for the job

so when her mom comes home late that night, she’s worried that maybe kihyun might’ve been mad for staying longer than he intended and would probably demand more money

but instead she sees kihyun passed out on the couch with the little girl curled up on his chest, snoring and drooling on kihyun’s hoodie

and the mom just sighs, her heart swelling and smile turning peaceful for the first time in a while

jooheon

oh my god, he never knew this was his calling

usually when ppl would see him, they would never assume that he did babysitting on the side

i mean, maybe for money but not for fun?? or bc he actually likes it???

but like, contrary to how he appears, he actually loves being in the presence of kids bc they make everything so fun and exciting!! like you have no idea how refreshing it is to hang with a kid excited about stars after you’ve spent the better half of your week around angry and hormonal teenagers

like jooheon literally looks forward to just letting out his dorky and fun side with a bunch of kids who aren’t complaining about finals or upcoming college apps

because even tho he relates and all, sometimes it just puts a huge damper on his spirit and he needs to recharge around some tiny humans who just wanna play video games and get a stomach ache off pizza rolls

and sure it’s cute when the kids call him hyung or oppa but you know what he really loves? being called honey

that’s the name he gives the kids to call him so they’re literally just running around yelling “honey!!” all the time and it’s the sweetest thing

and sometimes the parents get confused cause the kids are like “i wanna see honey!” and the parents are like ??? whom

he always takes the kids to the park too bc he tends to have the more energetic kids, so they’re usually hanging off monkey bars or sliding down slides on their bellies and sometimes he’s running with them, having the time of his life on the playground like he’s a child as well

sometimes parents and nannies and older siblings at the park will see him in all black and with his resting bitch face while he sits on the bench or something and they’ll be kind of put off by it

but then one of his kids runs up to him yelling “honey!! i got a cut!” and his expression will morph into this cute sad look and he’ll pull the kid into his lap and pull his handy first aid kid out of his backpack while he’s like “ahh, it’s not that bad, kid. honey’ll fix it up in no time, you just gotta promise to be careful running around, alright?” and the kid nods really fast after he bandages up their cut and they run off and literally everyone around them is swooning

he’s also the cool babysitter bc he always gets the kids to do chores or whatever, but he promises to get them something cool in return

“if you sweep and mop the kitchen like your mom’s been telling you for the last three days, i’ll take you out for ice cream cones” “extra sprinkles too???” “you’re gonna have to make that kitchen sparkle if you want extra sprinkles, kid”

and parents love him bc he always somehow gets the kids to do things the parents can never get him to do?? bc jooheon knows how to make it fun

suddenly eating veggies is now the only way to keep monsters out of the closet or from under the bed at night bc “monsters love kids who eat lots of candy, but they hate a kid who eats veggies at dinner time. they think it’s yucky”

some people wonder if maybe jooheon encouraging wild imaginations is a good idea in the long run but he swears by it, bc he knows orking the imagination is a good sign of mental development and will really encourage them to do what they love in the future

and, okay, one of his kids found out he likes to rap in his spare time

so she was like “!! teach me how to rap for my talent show” 

and at first jooheon was rlly reluctant bc he didn’t know how that would go down, but the little girl looked so passionate about it so he helped her write a (v clean and appropriate) rap about why homework sucks

and she invited him to come to the talent show to watch

so he ditches his last class of the day to make it to her school, and when he arrives the girl’s parents are shuffling him to a seat and he’s nervously chatting with them, his nerves getting the best of him bc he knows this lil girl in particular is pretty shy

but then she comes out on stage dressed almost exactly like jooheon and he just 💘 he’s ded

and she starts doing her rap and even tho she stumbles over the pronunciation a bit, she sounds so cool and jooheon is so proud and as soon as she’s done and does a little bow and mic drop he shoots out of his seat clapping like crazy before her parents can even fathom what they’ve just witnessed

and even tho she only wins second place, you bet your ass jooheon is treating her like a superstar the whole time, so much so that she might as well have won first place after all

(she won first place in jooheon’s heart and that’s all that matters)

hyungwon

if kihyun wasn’t already completely worried about hyunwoo, he is about hyungwon

hyungwon kind of?? is sort of responsible??? but just barely?

he usually keeps to himself around new people and around kids it’s really the same

like he doesn’t know if he should approach them or if they should approach him

he’d much rather be at home catching z’s tbh

“hyungwon you have to talk to the children” “i’m fine” “hyungwon you’re babysitting you have to talk to them” “no thanks” “hyungwo-” “i’m good”

kihyun is completely convinced that they should just leave hyungwon out of the babysitting idea altogether but hoseok is like no!!! we do this as friends or we don’t do it at all!!!

hyungwon: if that’s the case, i don’t mind breaking off this friendship here and now

but then hoseok threatens that hyungwon was gonna make him cry and hyungwon gave in (not until after some pouting on his part tho)

hyungwon has to be eased into babysitting so he ends up going with jooheon to do it, but he stays in his own little world and only moves to get new diapers or something

never to make snacks bc jooheon does not want to get sued for hyungwon accidentally poisoning the children with his terrible cooking

in fact, it takes hyungwon a long time to warm up to the idea of babysitting, so much so that the others are starting to wonder if hyungwon is even really paying attention when he helps babysit with the others

but then jooheon unexpectedly gets sick and has to cancel on a babysitting job and the parents are pulling out their hair over the phone with kihyun bc it’s so last minute and they really have no other options

and the other boys are completely booked so hyungwon is just like *raises hand* “i’ll do it...?”

and all the boys are completely stunned into silence (that is until the parents on the other line are like “hey anybody home!!”)

so, they send hyungwon to do the job

and at first, hyungwon is really nervous bc, sure, he’s watched jooheon work with all kinds of kids plenty of times (save for the times he’d disappear into some remote part of the house and nap) but he’s never been left alone as the sole Adult over all the children so he’s just kind of

freaking out

so when he gets there, he’s expecting like a bunch of crazy high-energy kids bc kihyun was shoving hyungwon out of the door with the parents’ address before he even explained exactly who hyungwon was babysitting

but then the dad is handing over this sleepy kid on his shoulder and he’s like “he mainly sleeps and eats so hopefully you can handle that” and then they’re gone

and hyungwon is super surprised bc the kid instantly curls into him with zero complaints

he’s just quietly snoring in hyungwon’s ear and hyungwon is like.... wow... same

so for a few hours he’s just letting this kid cuddle him while hyungwon watches tv on low volume and he nearly clocks out himself but he also knows that if he actually falls asleep he might not wake up for hours so it’s best he just stays awake

and when the kid has finally finished drooling on hyungwon he rubs his eyes all cutely and the first words out of his mouth are “what’s for lunch”

hyungwon, internally: SAMEEEEEEEE

bc hyungwon cannot cook to save his life he takes the kid out to get pizza and hyungwon manages to get the kid to play some arcade games with him but overall the kid is just super quiet and laid back and hyungwon could almost kiss jooheon for picking this job, over all other jobs, to miss out on

hyungwon is actually shocked at himself for how easily he falls into the big brother role, but of course he’s used to having a younger brother so it just clicks with him after a while

and nearing the end of the babysitting job when the parents come back home, the kid is just chilling on hyungwon while they watch tv and the parents are like “we’re really sorry honey oppa couldn’t babysit you this time, buddy”

and the kid is super nonchalant and just goes “i like this babysitter better, anyway”

and hyungwon is !!!! ecstatic, happy, elated, wow who knew babysitting was this rewarding and nice

hyungwon is practically on cloud nine, all smug when he goes back home and calls kihyun telling him the babysitting job was over and he’s just bragging about how easy it was and how much of a piece of cake it ended up being and kihyun is just like “yeah that’s great and all, now i’ve got you booked for four kids next week. one of the kids likes to claw on things and the other is a loud newborn baby”

hyungwon:... uh bad connection gotta go

hyungwon is a work in progress but he’ll get there

...hopefully