#i am but a channel for hermes divinely inspired shitposts

[theic-manic]

Me: *Thanks Hermes while drinking one of his favourite beverages, and iced dirty matcha latte*

Hermes: "Shitposting prophecy time!"

Me: "Oh no"

Hermes, slurping drink via a straw: "So basically imagine war becoming a steamed event similar to the U.S. Superbowl. Here, I'll give you some shitposting inspo"

Me: *sighs* okay

Hypothetical dystopian scenario for entertainment purposes only:

Commentator: "And we have the US entering the fray with some [insert military tech] that has once again, likely cost the country a universal healthcare system. But first, a word from our sponsors."

*after the ad break*

"And we can see that shots have indeed been fired, however it appears that the nation's school shooting program has not paid off as similar to the recent Trump events, some VERY easy shots have been missed.

Now over to the NRA for comment"

And so I now see the character in the gif below as a commentator version of Hermes:

I'll need to rewatch this movie because this guy is Hermes coded as fuck.

I absolutely do not agree with this shitpost.... however, we are approaching this level of dystopia with influencer and entertainment culture.

Athena: "... what the... I'm going to need a gin and tonic.

Hermes, have you even considered therapy?"

Hermes: "Have you?"

This is what I get for opening myself back up for deity communications first thing in the morning with zero boundaries...

[theic-manic]

I'm an Apollo and Hermes devotee, of course I get the most unhinged inspiration.

LYRIC IDEA:

IF YOU WANNA GET WITH ME THERE'S SOME THINGS YOU GOTTA KNOW

I LIKE MY BULLETS LOUD AND MY TRUMPS DOWN LOW

MY TRUMPS DOWN LOW

to the sound of

*sighs*

Dear FBI,

I am but a channel and vessel for Hermes' divine shitposting bangers.

This does not reflect my personal or political views.

[theic-manic]

Apparently, "Greek gods as twinks for kinktober" is what I get when I ask Apollo to bless me with inspiration, and my discussion on this with my pagan cousin went as follows:

Cousin: Zeus has too much daddy energy to be a twink

Me, after channelling Hermes: If it exists, it can be twinked

😑 I am but a channel for Hermes' divinely inspired shitposts (& I am certain that he's determined to have me stir up Zeus)

Me: *Putting my foot into it by suggesting that I finally draw Hermes*

Zeus: "I'd like my penis to be very large, thank you"

Me: 😳 "Who said that I'll be drawing you, or your penis?!"

Zeus: "Well endowed. Thank you, I trust you'll do me justice."

Hermes, in my ear: "Tell dad that he should get himself a very large penis if he wants one"

Me: "I'm not going to insult Zeus!"

Ares: *Snickering*

Apollo: *Happy to see me want to draw again finally*

Dionysus: "I'd like to not be blue, thank you"

Me: "Uh, I hadn't planned to draw you because we're not well acquainted...

Dionysus: "I don't want to be a smurf"

Me: "Honestly mate, fair"

Athena: "I WANT TO BE FIERCE AND POWERFFUL LOOKING though also wise looking dear, so jot that down."

Apollo: " 'Thena, calm your tits"

Me: *sigh* I'm going to need to start writing these down... anyway I should dust off my surface pro and check for updates"

Hermes: 😎😁