#i am back to indulging in my favorite thing (misha)

[warpedwings]

Misha Collins • Christmas 🎄

[mercurialkitty]

I posted 14,951 times in 2022

93 posts created (1%)

14,858 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@saratsuzuki

@atalethatcantbetold

@zevbaldwin

@itwillalwaysbedestiel

@lifbitch

I tagged 10,290 of my posts in 2022

Only 31% of my posts had no tags

#destiel - 1,227 posts

#cas - 1,217 posts

#castiel - 1,033 posts

#misha collins - 795 posts

#destiel fan art - 505 posts

#dean winchester - 444 posts

#spn - 349 posts

#castiel fan art - 345 posts

#jack kline - 273 posts

#suptober22 - 214 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#is there a fic where jack has his angel powers and just flits back and forth between destiel saileen and kelly households? earth & heaven?

I sent 2 gifts in 2022

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I was tagged by @tuometarr (💖THANK YOU so much! 💖 ) in Fic Authors Self Rec, which does give a a great excuse to talk about my own fics so here are  my 5 fave fics I have written

Ahem, that's the tag prompt -- actually I am so new to writing, that I don't have 5 favorite fics yet, but here's what I have:

Talks with Dads - Dean and Cereal - It's super short at 875 words, but I think this is my fave thing. My obsession is repairing the Dean and Jack relationship, so this ficlet has a soft spot in my heart. I think it's sweet.

On the Road again - This is the first destiel fan fic I wrote and shared out with the world, courtesy of a @winchester-reload Suptober prompt. So I'll be forever grateful for Suptober. It represents finally getting out there and creating content even in my fandom fifties. It's short at 1,563 words, but I like it, and I put in three Willie Nelson songs via YouTube links. Really, just the song Angel flying too close to the ground is worth clicking the link.

Game Night - Again, this is me wanting to repair the relationships around Jack. This is a heart to heart between Dean and Mary in heaven. It's 2,204 words.

Road Trip for the Holidays - was my first multichapter fic. It's a pile of self-indulgent college!Jack and his family fluff, with Jack's original character friend, and just a bit of Jack and Dean regretful feelz and memories so it's not pure sugar. At 54,897 words, it's novella length, so finally a decent amount of story to get into. I love parts of it sooo much, and yet I have newbie author embarrassment about it.

Instead of a fifth fic, I'll put in a plug for my fave fic that I'm working on. It's a Season 13 fix-it fic -- the formal title not set yet. Again, it's a repair of the Dean and Jack relationship we saw in 13.01 Lost and Found. I've been working on it for a couple years, but I've joined the WIP Big Bang to "Finish your SH**" , and I feel confident about finishing. So keep an eye out for the @wipbigbang and hopefully you'll see a promo when it gets close to the publishing date.

I'm also working on a midam, but I fear that will be a long time coming.

I'll tag a few random blogs who follow me and who have AO3 links in their header or pinned post. I think most blogs are a lot bigger than mine, especially with folks who write, so this may get lost in notes or they wonder who the heck this is :)

@procasdeanating @stillwinchester @damonnscroww @bluefirecas @fellshish @luninosity

Also if anyone else wants to use this as a reason to talk about their work feel free to consider yourself tagged ☺️

16 notes - Posted April 30, 2022

#4

Suptober22

Day 20 - Spa

pencil

Cas, Claire and Jack are at the spa juice bar. Cas and Jack have matching fluffy white robes from their massages. Claire was trying out lounging around with an eye mask, but that's not her thing. She's probably going to head to the pool or a cardio dance workout. Jack's considering reminding her that the eye mask is still on her head, but Claire may not mind. It makes a decent headband to keep her hair out of her eyes until she braids it.

19 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

#3

Hey folks, if you went to Rotten Tomatoes to leave a RoadFood review and didn't find the entry last week, it's been added! I know a lot of us must have asked for them to add it so soon, so congrats to us.

Tell them how great Misha is! 😇

https://www.rottentomatoes.com/tv/roadfood

22 notes - Posted January 24, 2022

#2

So Adam is born on September 29 which is traditionally St. Michael's day. Dean was born in January

Adam was the true Michael sword and Chuck just ignored it because he was so obsessed with Dean.

It's like it was the universe's choice and not Chuck's.

25 notes - Posted October 19, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Misha photo op! Raven @magnificent-winged-beast edited it for me! (i.e., graciously took me out of the image, etc.)

And what everyone told me before is true. You think he looks good in pictures? It is nothing compared to what he looks like in person. Like maybe he has a big aura or something, but he looks even more handsome than most photographs of him. It's difficult to understand.

127 notes - Posted January 21, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[hopefullystillatheatrestudent]

i'm so excited about you taking asks again ahhhh okay so. if you'd absolutely had to choose. what would be your top 5 cockles moments, and why? thank you ily <3

here’s the thing: there are so many routes i could go down with this, because cockles moments come in all shapes and sizes and formats. these include moments from their panels, their bloopers, the footage we get when they don’t even know they’re being recorded, stories being passed down from photo ops & autographs(one of my personal favorite ways to get cockles, tbh, because they’re all insane), and social media(tweets to each other, instagram posts & comments, etc.). 

SO! since many a list like this has already been made, and i want to stand out from the crowd, what i’m gonna do is definitively give the number one spot to each of these five categories.(i might even throw in honourable mentions because they’re so despicably in love that they warrant that. i really put my whole pussy into this, guys, i hope you’re happy.) 

disclaimer: these are my own personal opinions. but that also means i’m right. so. enjoy. 

number one: top cockles panel moment

so we’re starting off with a bang, because how do you even BEGIN to rank what atrocities jensen and misha commit at jibcon. every single one they’ve had is damning in it’s own right, for different reasons.

however, considering just how much unabashed fuckery they’ve given us to sift through, it’s a good thing i do have a personal favorite despite it all. it’s heartwarming, the sweetest thing i’ve ever seen, AND it’s jarringly cinematic - mainly because it has a whole ass arc to it that was years in the making. it might even be surprising to some people, but my favorite cockles panel moment, and what i consider the one that encompasses their entire gut-wrenching journey from 2008-2013 in the most sweepingly romantic gesture possible, is this one.

i want this burned into my retinas. i am not even joking. when i'm through with my explanation, let me convince you why this is thee most romantic cockles moment of all time.

first, some history: people call this the resume off, but many seem to forget the botched attempt at a resume off a year prior. and yes, you guessed it: it's during their break up. it's a juicy time period for a reason, guys. it came across as exceedingly one-sided and VERY awkward. let me refresh your memory as to just how bad it was, and just how hard jensen was trying and ultimately failing at winning misha over: the funniest part of the whole resume off in 2013??? every joke/bit had literally already been made/done. they were just going through the motions again, but the difference THIS time...is that misha reciprocated jensen's energy. it. is. fascinating. i want to get into it more detail in another post, and i'll link it here when i'm done, but the main takeaway, i think, and the main difference that showcases how much they've grown in a year, is that in jib 3, misha flat out refused to do an accent, and this time around, he indulges jensen for literal minutes. when i tell you they're crazy, they're crazy. i can't wait to actually dive into it later.

ANYWAY, the resume off culminates in this moment here. and, like, a million things happen in this gifset. actually, more like a million and one. the music starts playingneediremindyouthatthesongissingingintherain(h e l p), misha starts dancing, jensen 'perpetually fake grumpy' ackles lets misha think he's not going to join, misha sits down defeated, but no!!! that was jensen's plan all along(look at his stupid fucking smirk) and he offers his arm to his dance partner who immediately grins like a fool, jensen then leads misha into their kick step, they perfectly synchronise and let loose, and are then very clearly having the time of their lives, hanging off of each other with joy and ease. from their expressions alone i can tell that this moment is so. so. so. so! much more than what initially meets the eye. i mean-misha is fighting back the biggest smile i've ever seen. to me, it reads like jensen is offering something to misha, something that misha kind of gave up on expecting, and him offering his arm like that is like, a surprise to him in the best possible way(and it's so not platonic, let me just say that.) as soon as jensen did that, it ushered in a new era of cockles. this panel is jensen and misha's favourite for a reason, and i think this moment is the biggest clue as to why.

whew!!! ok. that took a lot out of me and that was only point one. moving on,

number two: top cockles blooper moment

cockles bloopers hold an extremely special place in my heart, because it shows just how fucking disastrous jensen and misha are. they are so goddamn infatuated with each other that they HOLD UP PRODUCTION ALL THE TIME TO FLIRT WITH EACH OTHER(???). let me repeat. let it sink in. jensen ackles; arguably one of the most professional actors on that show who puts everything he has into each scene, with mountains and mountains of notes to prove it: would rather hold up production to flirt with misha collins. this sounds fake. it's not. he does it. all. the. time. and here's the thing guys!!! i'm gonna let you in on a secret!!! misha loves it. he loveesssss it. on top of that-misha collins: overlooked because he's pranked and people assume he's unprofessional as well, but his only pranks are in retaliation/off-set, and he rarely if EVER causes problems if he can help it....lets himself get carried away when it comes to jensen making kissy faces at him!!! are you actually kidding me!!! i mean. misha. it's just a face. you've seen it a million times. i don't buy that it triggers something in you that strongly....you like it, and you like jensen's reaction. you can't fool me!!! lisa berry's face in that one gifset shows just how fed up the crew is with their gross, coupley boyfriend antics.

i could pull up so many examples. sooooooo many. but my favourite was sealed since the moment i saw it.

i actually already wrote an analysis on it but i can't find it :(((( which SUCKS because i really unpacked the whole thing. i'll try to summarise.

basically, a backstory is part of this too!!! jensen and misha both had a really really hard time with this scene(because it's explicitly romantic there i said it), they sat down for hours and poured over their scripts together, they were super super nervous going into filming, both of them, jensen especially, were super hard on themselves for their performances not being true to their characters but they both complimented the other's work(boyfriend moments fr). so, yeah. they weren't confident going into shooting. and how do they get themselves to feel better???? by cuddling each other, apparently.

a lot. a LOT. happens in this specific blooper. to the point that i saw it years before i knew about cockles and it raised all sorts of flags for me.

1) stop pulling my face towards your crotch(as a thinly veiled request that misha would, in fact, move jensen's face towards his crotch, considering it was jensen moving himself there in the first place. also, why so comfy down there guys???) 2) you're my baby daddy i know(in the most intimate voice i've ever heard please) 3) i know, i know, i love you too i didn't say i love you i know but you wanted to say it etc. misha's right, of course. that's what jensen meant.

it just reeks of comfort, familiarity and intimacy between the two, and it's a moment that is extremely sweet and silly at the same time. they're so <3

number three: top cockles found footage moment

WONDERFUL category. truly the culmination of the cockles experience. many people have said that shipping cockles doesn't work because 'they're just onstage you dummies!! they're playing it up for the audience!!!' here's the thing, love. i could not disagree with you more. once you climb your way up the cockles ladder, you soon learn that they are, in fact, playing their dynamic DOWN, not up. they really are just Like That™, and they could not care less about the paying audience, if we're being honest, considering how much time they take to giggle with each other and refuse to let the audience in on the joke. and i love them for it <3

anyway, my point is that this category is for all you naysayers out there, all you 'jensen and misha's relationship is just for show and is real life queerbaiting'(?????lordhelp???) oh yeah? ok, explain this.

he. he. he calls jensen sweetheart. literally enough said. there's nothing to really add here, except, misha and jared then immediately engage in damage control. jared's method is distraction and misha's is retconning('get out of the car, dude') this was what got me to buy into the cockles dumpster for GOOD good. you don't call your buddy sweetheart accidentally and sound so completely earnest while doing it! especially not when that buddy is jensen ackles!!! you think he would let any of his friends call him that? do you?

one more thing; if it was a slip of the tongue, little mouth thing or whatever, you think jared wouldn't have jumped on it immediately??? i can hear it now. 'did you just call him SWEETHEART???' yeah. that's what i thought. you know why he didn't? because it was too revealing.

number four: top cockles autograph moment

i mean, i think we all know what it's gonna be, and if you don't, well, do i have the piece de cockles resistance that is gonna send you over the edge.

if you haven't heard of this story by now, as a cockles, truther, i'm gonna go ahead and get you to read it, because there is no possible heterosexual explanation for any of it, and you're fooling yourself if you think otherwise.

spoiler alert: it's the story where phones weren't allowed in an auto session, jensen nuzzles himself in misha's hair, leans his full body weight onto him, holds his hand, etc. etc. i'm imploding just repeating this back, actually. also, just, the sheer amount of stories from photo ops where they tackle hug each other or slap each other's asses or sing romantic songs to each other or almost kiss is, frankly, a lot. if i could wish for anything, it would be to witness them in person.

and finally,

number five: top cockles social media moment

this one is super difficult, because there's obviously a lot to choose from. but you know what? full send, i'm going with this one:

i just. what to say about this. how often do misha and jensen watch sunsets together for it to qualify as ‘always’ ??? why are sunsets synonymous with their relationship??? that’s like??? a very romantic thing????? ‘this guy’??? the fact that it’s a CANDID??? i don’t know guys.

that could have been better but i am TIRED so. there you go rose ily

[misha-moose-dean-burger-lover]

POSITIVE 20 QUESTIONS TAG GAME

I was tagged by @peanutbutterandgrapejelly. Thank you for the tag, Peanut, this seems pretty loaded, but in a good way, so here goes!!

1. Name 4 fictional characters who showcase your personality the best, with explanations if you want.

Sue Heck! I don't think I let all of it out, but on the inside, I constantly feel like I'm extremely Sue Heck-y, :')

Amy Santiago, in a lot of regards, I'll say. Uh, cares a lot about her friends, ambitious, and would basically die/murder for organization, but also socially awkward and, uh, mostly percepted as a goody-two-shoes. Also, true nerd™.

Mindy Lahiri! (I mean, again, this seems more of a who I feel like I am, and not who I come across as, cause those two things tend to differ on a variety of levels?)

Sam Winchester (you know I had to) Basically, we're both INFJs. I'm not even close to his level, but my brain officially ran out of characters so uh, empathetic, constantly interpreted as "boring" and the "brains", patient, *yearns to settle down with someone they love*, believes in second chances. The whole nine, but toned down XD

2. Aesthetic:

I'd usually have a hard time with this one, but I recently did a long thing about my aesthetic, so! I'm going to say, soft pastel, beige, and shades of white!! A tinge of light academia, but mostly unassumingly modern, and faded rainbows as watermarks.

3. Favorite musical/play? If you've never seen a musical or play, one you'd be interested in seeing?

You got me ~ never seen any. (I mean, school plays don't count, right?) I honestly have a bunch of musicals I want to see, recommendations from friends online, but somehow it always slips my mind. But, off the top of my head, @spot-the-brooklyn-pirate wanted me to check this one out, and I am looking forward to actually doing it sometime: Book of Mormon.

4. What's the best compliment you've ever received?

Mostly, anyone who says I, in any way, made them happy, literally gives me the best compliment ever. And uh, my sister called me inspiring once, and it stuck. When I nagged her into elaborating, she said she thought I was functional in spite of all my flailings, and self-analytic, and it didn't make sense to me, but I still think about that.

And a few people, over the course of time, have named some of my fics as their favorites, and those stay with me for a very long time.

5. How many times have you been in love?

Hardly once. She's still one of the most important people in the world to me, but as somebody great once said, if you don't fight for it, it doesn't count. And we didn't.

6. Embarrassing story or fact about yourself which now makes you laugh?

By far the most embarrassing thing I've ever done, is written a fic on wattpad which revolved around my own life, except for the fact that it really, really didn't. Long story shortened, I was in sixth grade, and had a surface-level-y crush on this guy, and it seemed like a brilliant idea at the time. In the story, we're all in senior year, though the authoress forgot pretty much all the real things about school XD it's not just cringy, but also extremely sixth-grade-y written, and it astounds me to this day that it went on to have like 18,000 views? (I managed to block the entire shtick out, until a few months back, when I randomly remembered and rushed to unpublish the work. *facepalm* it even had all our real names)

7. Favorite Disney/Pixar movie?

This one's so hard. Uh. Ratatouille, maybe?

8. Favorite flower/plant?

I regret having to confess that I probably don't have one :( but hey, my go-to answer for these ones is daisies, because they remind me of the lovely @daisy-jeon <3

9. What's your favorite holiday?

Holi :')

(I miss it being like the older times, though? Somehow it always clashes with my final exams these last few years, and Shelley is often not home, but it still really makes me happy, so just imagine how perfect it used to be, when I was a kid!!)

10. Name three things that made you smile/laugh this past week.

Rewatching The French Mistake!! A really great decision, haha!

The lovely comments an older fic of mine received, (about old Destiel, uwu) since a couple of big blogs happened to reblog it 🙈🙈🙈 and my activity started blowing up!!

A full-blown coffee high, which resulted in me being hilarious through a 98-message monologue to dish, eeeeee!!

11. What song would you play to introduce yourself to someone?

I'd been dreading this question the most, because I'm horrible at remembering good songs when I - need to be. Oofsies.

But I guess I could wing it with 'What About Us' by P!nk.

12. Name something that truly makes you peaceful even at your most stressful moments.

Writing about Character A of a ship going through said stressful moment, and Character B being the best possible responder to all of it. Projection's the key to functionality, kids.

13. What do you, did you, or would you study at college?

Would you, and will you, sound unfortunately like different questions to me, so I'm going to answer the one which is asked. I'd like to major in History, with a minor in English. (And to be crude for a bit, as my sister calls it, thus successfully be left solely employable as a teacher.)

14. This is kind of a weird one, but which outfit of yours makes you feel most like yourself?

My black Avenger's logo t-shirt, with this pink hooded, kinda-down-past-my-hips, not-warm-at-all jacket and any one of my numerous, mwuahaha, grey shorts.

I never said I'd go out of the house in that outfit, did I?

15. What is a quote you live by?

I don't think there aren't any. I'm just here, faking it till I make it. Still, if I had to choose? Misha's "Be Kind to Yourself so You can be Happy enough to Be Kind to Others" is something I aspire to live by.

16. Name the funniest playlist name you have.

I'm sad that I don't have any funnily named ones now. Sorry to disappoint, but I'm hoping that it counts a teensy bit that I have like seven playlists just for background shtuff when I'm working, and they're all named *extremely* similarly, with variations of the word "study" basically, but all have exceptionally different vibes.

But I really am sorry, and I'm going to try and up my playlist-humor-game.

17. Make a reference to an inside joke you have with someone you love with zero context.

'Time for tapwater'.

18. What is a message you'd give your younger self if given a chance?

Don't build your sense of self-worth over the people whose opinions you think matter. You don't have to get everybody to like you. (Oh, and probably don't switch between multiple first-person-pov's, even though you're just writing the most unrealistic self-indulgent fiction EVER.)

19. Who is your favorite family member? (If you have no good blood family members, feel free to mention someone in your found family)

Hands down, my sister. Shelley, didi, @iamcharliebradburylevelperfect, you're like the best part of my life, and you're probably going to be the longest part of it, too. Cause we might not have the best record for funny titles to call each other by, but we still nail the cheesy till the end of the line moments, ;)

20. What's a secret dream of yours?

I, uh. Want to run a completely-revolutionalizing-the-concept-of-education-style school ~ a boarding school actually, with my best friend dish. And as a means to acquire funds for it? We're going to do a whole lotta stand-up. :D

(Oh, and since i've already rambled for at least a thousand words, so what's the harm in a few more? At some point, probably on my birthday, I want to do a YouTube livestream, a pre-planned one of course, and everybody I've ever been frens with, on this dumb, wholesome hellsite???? They're all sent an invitation to join!! And there's nothing to do, really, we just talk and everyone's enjoying themselves, and I dunno, I had a dream about this once, and I've been so ridiculously smitten with the idea since!

Huh, maybe I could rally forces starting now, to make this possible by my eighteenth!!)

If anyone would like to play, these are really awesome questions! @3dg310rdsupreme @mystybloo @thotfordean @bcozwhythefuknot @theninthdutchessofhell @awkward-penguin-in-a-trenchcoat @quicksilver-ships @all-or-nothing-baby @screamatthescreen @telefunkies @elvenlicht @facepalmmylifeu @specialagentrin @noemithenephilim @but-for-the-gods-three-days

[go-diane-winchester]

Misha Collins is not the Professor of Slash Fiction

What Misha Collins has done to Supernatural slash fiction, has ruined slash within the fandom and added fuel to the fire of hatred that gay men are starting to have for slash fans.  I feel very sad for the teen destiel shippers in fandom, who have fledgling sexualities and instead of letting them explore these things organically and healthily, via slash fiction, Misha wants to school them on slash, a subject he has piss poor knowledge of.  Because he is a well known figure, in SPN circles anyway, they assume that he knows what he is talking about.  Actors and characters are merely muses, not the foundations blocks for a shipper's  happiness mansion.  You don’t need their permission or blessing.  You don't need their validation.  What Misha did was, he made destiel his personal brand.  Anything for popularity.  And he did it, despite knowing that the other half of the pairing is disapproving of it.   

A slasher's sexuality is being exhibited through the stories she writes.  Slash fiction is not about an actor, show, character or other external parties.  It is internal.  It has everything to do with the girl writing the story, and is a reflection of her sexual expression.  Once upon a time, women wrote only what they like.  If they didn’t like something, they steered clear of it, because that is what people with common sense do.  I, for example, can’t read fellatio because it doesn’t do anything for me.  I guess its because I am not a man, don’t have a penis and therefore don’t know what it feels like, so I don’t appreciate it.  In my stories, my characters don’t fellate each other.  If I read a story that is really enjoyable and fellatio makes an appearance, I skip that paragraph.  However, I don’t berate the person for writing something I personally don’t like.  She wrote it perhaps because she finds it enjoyable. 

Today, women are not really writing for themselves.  They are writing homosexually appropriate sex scenes, just so that their gay male readers, that are not the majority, don’t scoff at them and go “that’s not how we do it”.  Yes, the gay friends in this bubble are happy, but the majority of the slash fans that are mostly heterosexual women are left feeling lackluster.  Perhaps that is why there is a general trend for women to “grow out of slash fiction” and even mass media is seeing slash fiction as a teenage girl’s pass time.  Women, who are fully grown, and fully aware of their sexuality can’t pretend to like the stories because the stories are no longer appealing.  Of course, some Misha fans are A-OK with that artistic injustice because “Misha would love it because he is not a bigot”.  It has nothing to do with bigotry.  Sometimes, it is best to leave out the sex scene rather than make a select few happy.  Slash sex was never meant to be realistic sex.  It is, after all, written generally by straight females for straight females.  Throw in the bi females as well.  Its fantastical, as it should be. 

In early slash stories that I read, back in the lord of the ring days, ukes came the way women do, without a hand on them.  Why?  Because that is how women usually orgasm.  They write what they know.  However, young sexually inactive girls, listening to Misha and his LGBT slash tirades, endeavor to make stories “accurate”.  So now we have lots of young girls, growing up with a better understanding of gay sex than of straight sex.  I have even heard a few saying that they wanted to be gay men.  Misha is interfering with a natural process and confusing teenagers, which bites because as it is, sexuality is so confusing for young people.  Proper slash or classic slash is an artistic manifestation of straight sex.  The drivel that we have now is political correct, inclusive nonsense that gay men didn’t ask for and women don’t feel overwhelming enthusiastic about.  I don’t know what the ramifications of that is going to be other than women deserting slash fiction. 

I would like to point out at this juncture, that as far as SPN is concerned, Misha is a culprit.  But there were one more culprit.  There was one who communicated with general slash fans around the early 2000s.  His name was minotaur.  And he tried to school slashers on how to write gay sex correctly because they weren’t doing a good enough job for his liking.  He had no business doing that.  It has nothing to do with him.  Slash fiction is for woman.  Gay fiction or bara is for men. 

For Supernatural, I like J2 alternate universe.  There aren't very many other people left to love on this show.  They are all back stabbers.  If I write a story, Jensen is always the baby.  Baby is the word I used to use during my Lord of the Rings days, before I realized that the word uke existed.  Its not the correct way to write Jensen.  It is my favorite way of writing Jensen.  I like Jensen as the baby.  When I write a story where I need the baby to be a kidnap victim or abused stepchild or ethereal unattainable prince, I like to see Jensen in that role.  It has nothing to do with him.  It is how I like to write.  Its about my perception.  He is just a muse.  

I like seeing Jared as the daddy.  Go ahead and laugh.  I still smirk about this embarrassing word that I used before I know seme existed.  I like when��Jared as the savior.  I cant see him as a baby because he is so fricking huge and tall, with the rippling muscles, expansive torso and broad shoulders.  Its is, for me at least, too easy to write him as a ferocious warrior, then as an abused baby locked away in a dungeon. 

P.S.:  THIS IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE JARED GIFS. 

The Jensen and Jared in my stories are mere avatar of the real actors.  They are manifestations of my sexuality and what I like sexually.  They have nothing to do with the real actors.  That is what hellers fail to understand.  They think that whatever they read in a destiel story is a manifestation of the truth.  That is why destiel and cockles stories are not imaginative.  J2 stories are so diverse because the actors themselves, despite being slash friendly, have never interfered with the genre.  They allowed the art form to grow at its own steady pace, organically.

Only the destiel fans do that now.  Because Misha turned an innocent art form into a drug, and he is their only dealer.  And you know how druggies love their dealers.  Reader opinions matter but not about who should be the baby and who should be the daddy.  You can't tell others how to navigate their sexual expression.  That is what Misha fails to understand.  Misha tries to show that he is an alpha.  So he is, essentially telling his fans what to write.  That is why Cockles stories are one trick ponies.  Artistic growth is completely stunted.  They are mostly High School AUs with the Jock Dean and Nerd Cas falling in love.  Even Twist and Shout was like that.  Except that Cas died in the end.  From AIDS.  No wonder gay men hate slash fans.  AIDS has no place in a slash story.  Its not a trope or a fetish.  Have some respect.  And who made hellers think slash was a gay thing?  Misha.  So blame him. 

Mpreg is proof that slash is a female art form.  The only other people who write mpreg now, write it as a creative exercise.  I used to feel embarrassed by mpreg especially if men found out about it.  But now I am fiercely protective of it.  Because its one of the last remnants of female sexuality in slash fiction. You don’t see mpreg popping up as frequently in bara, because gay men don’t fall pregnant and therefore don’t have a natural maternal desire.  Mpreg is big in SPN.  The brothers, Cas, even Kevin have gotten knocked up.  SPN is like a regular maternity ward.  I realize that Misha might not know anything about mpreg because he hasn’t spoken about it in his panels.  If this is true, then I hope it stays that way.  I don't want Misha to ruin mpreg, because imagine poor Jensen dealing with that. 

I was under the assumption that Misha doesn't know what tin hatting is.  I assumed that he thought Cockles is just an RPS pairing.  His talks about Cockles has started to make me think otherwise.  Misha doesn't realize that he is playing with fire.  And the day the penny drops for Jensen, he is going to be furious.  He is going to realize Misha is the reason his and Jared's reputation are completely tarnished.  He is going to realize Misha is the reason he and Jared get so many threats.  That is why, I wish Misha will stop talking about Cockles.  Just his interference, by itself, has turned his destiel shippers into a militant group.  Notice how his sastiel fans don't do that.  It is because he doesn't indulge sastiel.  In other words, he neglects the expendable fans, because he assumes, incorrectly, that destiel gives him more clout. 

Because he is schooled hellers for the past ten years, they are brainwashed into making slash fiction something it isn't.  It is not an expression of gay rights.  Its not a sexuality and its not about making the writers do what you want.  Even having a civil discussion about slash fiction is hampered because the answer to anything, from that camp, is usually “Well, Misha doesn’t have a problem with it”.  Misha is not your father.  You don’t have to see slash fiction or anything else through the Misha Collins lens.  Use your own common sense.  Normal destiel fans understand this.  Why cant hellers?

You don't need actor validation to enjoy slash fiction.  In fact, in my ideal world, I would hope that the actors never heard about slash fiction.  Personally, I find it mortifying.  The actors [decent ones anyway] are not there to fulfill your sexual needs.  They are not sex dolls.  They are only muses because you love them.  That doesn't mean they have to approve of your fetishes.  The proper definition of slash fiction should be:  Slash fiction is an escapist fantasy platform showcasing stories and artwork, by women for women, about male subjects in a romantic setting.  Leaving out the words “homoerotic” does away with multiple confusions, because slash is not gay porn.  This is what Misha believes and his own shipper fans got angry with him for calling destiel pseudo-porn.  Misha researched slash fiction on Wikipedia, like the complete idiot that he is, and it gave him biased, incorrect information.  It is the first time I actually saw destiel fans questioning Misha about this subject.  Even they acknowledge he doesn't know what he is talking about. 

Misha Collins is singlehandedly ruining something he had no business getting involved in.  I don’t really bother about what minotaur did to other slash fans, because originally it didn’t disturb my little corner of the internet.  Misha had ruined slash in this fandom.  When slash was true to itself, in the classical sense, women were still honest with themselves about their sexuality.  Bullying was infrequent and slash fiction was not ruined beyond repair.  Gay men weren't getting infuriated because women were fetishizing their lifestyle.  Now the hellers are bleeding into other fandoms and influencing their thought processes.  Misha's rotten influence has had a domino effect.  I really wish he would read this and stop.

[jennilah]

fffghfghffff idk man i dont understand myself

related to this thing i went on about a little while ago

like right now my youtube recommended section keeps suggesting this three hour long video where one of the Detroit Become Human voice actors apparently livestreamed himself playing the game

that sort of thing fires off my obsessive hyper interest signals like you would not fucking believe 

but i hold myself back from watching it because im like “jenna hes not literally the character, dont do this, its too obsessive of you, makes you look crazy. also not every actor for your favorite character is going to be like Misha, you got lucky with him, what if this guy is an asshole or something. what if he says awful things and he ruins your love for dbh. all because you went digging too deep into the fandom because you get too obsessive”

like why am i like this? when’d i stop letting myself watch this shit? 

you know how many fucking behind the scenes videos and creator interviews and voice actor interviews and shit i watched for Deus Ex? and none of them ruined anything and at no point did I go “i should stop im being too obsessive”

something changed when i graduated high school, man. i need to learn to loosen up again, not to be shameful of how i indulge in my special interests again

[euripedeswrotefanfic]

I've Made a Huge Mistake

Hello, peoples! I am brand new here and I'm pretty much here for one thing. I tend to compartmentalize my social media and this is the place I will indulge my relatively new obsession with Supernatural and more specifically “Destiel”. It is a testament to both the show and the fandom that I have come so far down this rabbit hole. I literally have not tread anywhere near fan fiction since 1987, when Sylvester McCoy played the Doctor. The last piece of fan fiction I wrote was that same year. It was called “He's a Time Lord, Charlie Brown” explaining how Snoopy's love of World War One history compelled him to regenerate into a beagle and take his TARDIS/dog house to Earth. (Oh yeah, by the way? I am goofy as hell.) There is literally only one copy of it because I've never even typed it into a computer. It's been a while.

The disdain I had toward fan fiction was deep, mean-spirited, and festered for decades. Just some really bad experiences with some people who wrote it back then. All of that started to collapse, however, when I met the Angel of Thursday last fall. Just a few months before that I was literally gagging over the final season of another show that I have been obsessing over since 2017. I proclaimed to all of my friends that the main plot line of the final story arc sounded like “some serious fan-wank garbage”. I literally told them “The ending was perfect, but it's a shame they had to wade through garbage that sounds like fan fiction to get to it.” and “Time travel and a daughter? What kind of dark end of internet fan fiction site did they dig out THAT kind of shit bag idea?” (OK, so now you know what my other obsession is. The background for my online work meetings is a very familiar wall of scotch.) So yeah, I had a really shitty attitude. And yes, the first time I watched Supernatural was just late last September when a very dear friend from work finally convinced me to watch the show. I finished in 3 months. Granted, I'm an embittered old recluse who drinks too much, knows a ton of weird shit, and is exceptionally anti-social (The friend I mentioned calls me “Bobby” for some odd reason. He's an idjit.). I had an excessive amount of time. Not only did I easily finish 15 seasons in just under 3 months, I've also done a condensed second viewing of it that I call the “Mark and Misha Tour”. If neither Crowley nor Castiel was in an episode (more on my adoration of Mark Sheppard another time) I skipped it. I did make a few exceptions for episodes I thought were hilarious that neither of them were in. Unlike Marie, I LOVE the meta stories. I am a huge sucker for meta humor and wrote papers on it when I was in college. (My paper on Marc Brown's Arthur, both the books and the PBS show, earned me some seriously high praise. His books and the show both used tons of meta humor.) No way was I skipping any of those. Missing my favorite angel or demon was irrelevant. I mean, I've swooned over meta humor since Connie Chung told Murphy Brown that it was beneath a news anchor's dignity to appear on a sit com. As of today, I only have five episodes left and I'm relieved as hell that none of them is in the finale. The awesome thing about the “Mark and Misha Tour” is that I can skip it! HA! The only important line in it is “Well, Cas helped.” anyway. I do think I'm going to watch 19, however, just because I don't recall the details.

In spite of all that and my general disdain for any show like Supernatural that reek of “No one is ever allowed to be happy” themes, I was mesmerized by the characters and even much of the plotting. It was beyond my expectations that Dean and Castiel would compel me to seek out the thing I was viciously slandering just ONE MONTH prior to starting SPN. And DAMN, there is some good shit out there. I humbly retract every disparaging comment I ever made about fan fiction. As Aisha Tyler said while she mocked Jensen Ackles, “Y'all mother-fuckers are talented!” (Oh yeah. I'm definitely obsessed enough to have watched dozens of interviews and con panels on YouTube) So here I am, waiting to get my AO3 account approved. Thank you, Tumblr.

[gyeolsim]

📝 👀 for both of my kids cause i dont want to go through this twice

📝 me (sort of):

lucy said that reagan is a staple of wsc and that is SO true, i think reagan was the second? app we ever got and i was so taken by how it is Exactly what we were looking for. we’ve gotten a lot of excellent, creative characters, but at the risk of playing favorites, what were the odds that the second person who ever applied almost felt like they were reading our minds and hearts and aesthetics?  like the unapologetic, fearless, creative weirdness of it. senior members came and went but reagan has become so intrinsically wsc that losing it would be such a blow to the group and lore and storytelling that we’ve weaved together here. not to be gay casper but i think you’re such a strong character writer and it’s very clear that reagan is such a passion project for you and where you’re pouring a lot of your self-indulgences and that is so fun to interact with.

lucy already said it and i know a lot of people will remark on reagan’s shameless badness, and i feel like my interpretation of reagan is somewhat clouded by misha’s, but the first thing that comes to mind looking past it’s nonchalant, whoopty fricken doo attitude, is someone who desperately wants to fully inhabit and make its own that space it occupies between worlds, and someone who is in that transitional almost teenagehood-allegory period where it is neither here nor there and it doesn’t know still how to make a home out of it, just that it wants and maybe even needs to. reagan is so… like i am SO aware that everyone else is gonna disagree with me lmaooo, DISCLAIMER i’m PROBABLY WRONG, but what truly stands out to me is the virtuousness of that pursuit, not only how charming it is that it is so true and so unapologetic about who it is and how it wants to live its life, but in how little actual moral failing there is in that, because if you advertise it then it really isn’t deceit. fair warnings and all of that. maybe it’s just because i haven’t ever seen reagan do anything truly abhorrent beyond being a dick now and then that i can’t quite picture it being so selfish that it would choose to truly cause pain and harm and death, maybe it’s that i write misha lmao, maybe that is its bad ending and i am too inclined towards kinder storytelling paths. 

either way, i think this all comes from just how unbelievably well you flesh out that arcane, mythical archetype of a blue/orange morality seelie court native. when i think of the fairy court i picture these violet-tinged, glittery, almost eldritch in its incomprehensibility people-shaped beings that we only ever see a glimpse of, a slice of, and you’ve managed to have reagan live there and be affected by its utter unfathomability and made something so painfully human and dare i say, relatable out of it.

OK THIS IS VERY LONG U GET A READMORE

👀  the saddest boy in the world:

when i first read reagan’s app –and i’m not sure you left this intact in the rewrite, btw– there was a line about how it is callous but can sometimes be found secretly helping out a distressed freshman, and even though reagan evolved a lot as a character this is the part that stuck in misha’s… i don’t want to say rose-colored, because misha is not one to kid himself, but hopeful, i guess, perception of it. his optimistic, fiery stubborn kinda dumbass i-want-to-believe-that-everyone-has-a-little-bit-of-goodness-within-themselves perception of it. idk if reagan developed into someone who still helps little kids regardless of the whole [vague hand gesture] eating souls thing, but to retroactively explain misha’s almost naive faith in it i have to say misha must’ve seen it helping a kid the first time he ever laid eyes on it (most likely way back when misha was new and wide-eyed and didn’t speak much english) and, like, the rest is history. ever since then misha’s held the current reagan up to that standard, not in a way that sees it being unkind and finds it lacking, but in a way that makes him decidedly, unquestionably certain that there’s capital G goodness inside of reagan, that there’s a reagan within a reagan that is virtuous and gentle and driven by… god okay, not to open another great parenthesis of Tangent but i feel it is necessary to explain how misha defines goodness to explain his fatal attraction to reagan, and it is this quote by terry pratchett: there is no hope but us. there is no mercy but us, there is no justice, there is just us (…) but we must care, for if we do not care we do not exist. 

so i think all of this is to say that misha has seen reagan capital c Care, with little kids once upon a time and with the Union that one time he and moire managed to rope it into their two-person circle, he can feel it caring even when reagan wants to bury that passion deep within itself and show its, like, who cares whatever i do what i want facade to the world.

and like… this is hard to articulate, but like.. misha’s faith is not blind, misha’s patched up from contradictions himself, it’s not like he doesn’t realize that reagan is a bastard and an asshole and sometimes sincerely enjoys messing with people. he just sees reagan’s contradictions and finds kindship in them, like, a recognition. a hey, it’s you. they come from the same place, they’re made of similar stuff. misha sees reagan and knows that neither of them have had the privilege of soft, full childhoods because of that wobbling, in-between limbo space where they were spawned into the world. even if misha doesn’t know if reagan acknowledges its contradictions or not – he never claimed to be a mind reader– he just doesn’t have an issue with the apparent dichotomy of reagan being a dick and also being a person (a being?) that misha legitimately thinks has the potential to do fucking good.

lmao i feel like im rambling and saying the same thing and i could go ON FOREVER waxing poetry about the intricacies of misha’s feelings for reagan BUT… at least that’s what misha thinks lol. take it with a grain of salt given that misha’s tragique type is Massive Assholes so that certainly clouds his judgment lmao. he can’t resist a leather jacket!!!!!!!!

also when it presents masc it sometimes is kinda hot but misha’s like, surprisingly at peace with that because he wholeheartedly believes reagan when it says it finds him gross, so in a way it’s kind of a healthy, fun experience for misha to feel vaguely crushy towards a completely unattainable person lmao. most of the time misha legit just wants to hang out and have a wholesome, happy fun Good Time with it and he does like challenges so he might not realize he feels a little bit triumphant every time reagan is even slightly pleasant towards him. this is misha’s tiny little bitter person like a sentient espresso.  

THESE TAKE MORE TIME THAN ANTICIPATED so actually wtf dude send me one from calli’s blog for organizational purposes!

[go-diane-winchester]

A Generational study of Misha's wackydoodle fanbase.

This was the first post I ever did, on my blog.  The post did very well, and that was because the hellers were reblogging and adding their own captions to the post, and other dumber hellers were leaving a like.  So essentially they were creating traffic for my post without realizing it.  Because their nasty fingerprints are all over this post, I want to repost an edited version with updated information and less typos.  I remembered this post because of this interesting comment.

''In Twitter, in their own words, they have from 2 up 10 accounts. A lot of free time, I assume. I barely have time to enter tumblr xD''

Immediately, the Profound Bonds census came to mind.  I remember seeing a prominent amount of children.  And on one page, there was only one 37 year old.  I was surprised.  I wish I could use a screenshot of that page, but the hellers deleted the entire census.  I wonder why.  The above comment and the census, is the reason I am reposting an amended version of this. 

Enjoy!

Impassioned fans can be very annoying.  Like any fanatic, [in the words of Spike Milligan] they don't enjoy their favorite art.  They suffer from it.  However, most of the time, you find a way to chill with them, and you will be able to have a conversation about something or the other.  You might even share their enthusiasm, unless they start behaving creepily and nauseating you.  The hellers are the latter breed of freak.  They are the creepiest, most nauseating but most mobilized and active part of this fandom, because they have a hierarchy that operates their entire system.  There are influencers and drones.  Seeing an influencers will give you the impression that hellers are a group of grown women, however, that is not the case.  Only the influencer are older.  The drones are young.  Sometimes painfully young.

Understanding slash is one of the things that allowed me to understand why these people are so subservient towards Misha, and why they never question him.  There are other factors like his cult leader behavior, however, there is a particular group that he targets and he uses social media to do it.  Slash is almost a century old.  And each generation behaved in a specific way, regarding slash fiction.  The earlier generations were very covert.  It may have had something to do with modesty.  It may also have had something to do with “outsiders ruining our  fun”.  As far as Supernatural is concerned,  three generations of slash fans are represented. 

I am using the word generation here, from a marketing demographic perspectives, because this seems like the most sensible way to categorize slash fans.  Believe me, I am fully aware I am over simplifying this.  I am trying to write a short blog.  In no way, am I throwing shade at your generation.  I just like mine the most. lol!!!

There are three major generations in this fandom, that indulge in slash fiction:

Generation X:  These are slash fans born between 1965 and 1979.

Generation Y aka Millenials:  These are slash fans born between 1980 and 1994. 

Generation Z aka Centennials:  These are slash fans born after 1994. 

Generation X is that last generation of classic slashers.  This is a covert group that doesn’t like to share its artworks and works of fiction with outsiders.  If they remained underground and secret forever, they wouldn’t mind.  And if that mindset remained, nobody would even know that slash fiction exists.  As a member of this generation, I wish that things had stayed this way, but understand that society changes.  Its evitable.  Gen Xers usually don’t ship just one pair because it would seem a little foolhardy to pin all your slashy happiness on one pair that you put together.  There are plenty of pretty fish in the sea and we tend to mix 'n match.  There may be pairings we will like more than others, but generally speaking, we don't have issues with working through a cast like a buffet and enjoying different pairings. 

Younger generations of J2 fans were influenced by this generation's writings and therefore share the same opinions.  If there are any destiel shippers in this group, three suppositions are likely.  First, they are either, hidden away from social media and don't know about this death threat drama, and they don't have any frenzied love for destiel where it blinds them.  Misha is not influencing them via social media either.  They have a life and destiel is just their pass time.  Or, they are influencers who are older and therefore that sway the minds of younger people.  I theorize, however, that most of the destiel shippers in this generation deserted the ship and moved on.

The Y generation or millenial brought two changes to slash fiction.  From a western standpoint, this generation started to become inclusive and politically correct, making their work LGBT oriented rather than hetero/bi female oriented to the detriment of the artform.  The greatest irony is that mpreg [the last remnance of femininity] was born at the tail end of this generation.  My previous theory about this group was wrong.  I thought they were a quiet group.  But no.  All the Lua Jame's, Janelle's and Exorcising Emily's are coming this group.  This means that the influencers, the first users of social media in other words, are from this generation.  Perhaps, the normal non-criminal thinking, nice destiel shippers come from this generation too. 

Generation Z or centennials are the youngest generation, making them the least experienced, with the least filter.  They don’t think before they speak, but boy do they have a lot to say.  They tend to use social justice and politics to push the validity of their ship.  They are like junkies when it comes to their ship and Misha Collins is the only dealer they have.  They look for other dealers which is why they tend to ask all and sundry, what their opinion is with regard to destiel. 

They based their opinion of that person, on how that person responds to destiel.  Its like a pothead who only likes people who say that smoking pot is ok.  And if that person is indifferent to destiel, they will collectively attack that individual.  The only reason is because they are young.  Its only when I looked at their census, that I realized that many of them are as young as 13.  So most of them are children.  In Misha's heller army, these kids are the soldiers, bashing Jensen and Jared online and voting for Misha to win an award.  Lets hope their taste chances as they grow. 

Misha and his influencer, have convinced these people that what they feel is true, and because they are still young, they don't know any better.  Even a non heller might feel insulted by this analysis of an entire generation but believe me.  I am not critiquing you.  I am merely pointing out that your brain doesn't fully develop until you hit 40.  You are not a child, I concur.  But you are not a complete adult.  Get to my age, look back at life, and realize how many times circumstances forced you to change your opinion about various subjects.   I wager that about ten years from now, the hellers will look back at their behavior and cringe.  They don't know any better and the adults around them are not teaching them to do the right thing.

So Misha’s primary fanbase are a bunch of children, who are spread around the globe, and who don't affect of the ratings, have generally no money of their own so they cant buy seats for his panel or photo-ops or raise a decent amount for anything he is auctioning.  They couldn't attend Indycon so it flopped.  Not that he has that many fans to start with.  And they don’t recognize that Misha is trolling them with destiel, because they are too young to understand. 

Misha has the dumbest cult following ever, because he attached him to Jensen and Dean.  And Jensen doesn't even spend anytime with Misha outside of work.  So the shippy calling card Misha waves will catch fire in his hands.  He is also attracting children and they will grow up to eventually change their mind and taste in men.  The influencers are likely to stick with him, unless they get bored with the lack of Jensen and move on.  So consequently, Misha and his hellers wont benefit each other in the long run. 

I have a feeling there may still be typos.  Excuse them, please.