#i am aware that this is insane and has no scientific basis BUT i told valletta that she has to start eating her food

[coldflasher]

ALSO took valletta to the vet for her weight check and she is officially STABLE 😎 we love that for her

however we are now at a tally of two vets who think im insane and unstable bc i will plonk a relatively healthy, happy senior cat in front of them and then start crying even when they’ve already told me there’s nothing wrong with her*

**like, aside from the fact that she very much does have a degenerative chronic health issue. but in terms of things that are actively affecting her quality of life right now, there is nothing wrong with her

[enthusiasticsobrietyabuse]

Re-post from r/MeehanSurvivors Reddit Community. An Enthusiastic Sobriety Counselor Survivor Story.

TW: References to child pornography, conversion therapy, homophobia, masturbation, and sex.

I would love nothing more than to preserve my admiration for the program, if only for the reason that it would be easier to do so, but after years of being deceived, I find it utterly absurd to disregard any contempt on the basis of the misplaced gratitude that it saved my life. While the program undoubtedly contributed to my success in a number of ways, it has nevertheless become clear that I’ve walked away with trauma that, even after all of this time, I fail to wholly understand. What I do know, however, is that my disillusionment with enthusiastic sobriety is heavily rooted in how I was treated, as the people who claimed to love me evidently made it their mission to eradicate who I was and, likewise, transform me into a duller, lesser version of themselves. I will never know who I could’ve been had they honored the parts of myself that needed nurturing, only who I am today and the damage I’ve since been left with.

From the moment I joined the program, I knew exactly what its expectations were. It was made abundantly clear throughout the treatment process, where I was bombarded with endless conversations about what it meant to be a winner - a concept given context far beyond a sober individual working the twelve steps. I was not only told how to behave, but what to believe about every area of my life. It did not matter if those areas were deeply personal, as evidenced by the countless discussions related to sex; in fact, I would not only learn who we could and could not fantasize about while masturbating, but what we could and could not do sexually - as if we could not be trusted to determine for ourselves the actions we take in our own bedrooms. I also found myself on the receiving end of many conversations revolving around whether or not it was acceptable to shave one’s own pubic region, as was a commonly held belief that a shaved pubic region was not only unnecessary, but a product of one’s own vanity that, incidentally, mimics child pornography. Perhaps more disturbing, however, was the ideology surrounding pornography, in general, that we were ordinarily subjected to. We were first told that no self-respecting woman would want to be with a man who’s actively watching porn; then, we were told that it alters a man’s behavior so much that women will be able to recognize whether or not they watch it. The possibility of romance was used as a weapon against us by the counselors, as well as group members, to conform to their principles, rather than allowing us to establish our own and when that didn’t work, personal attacks were their next best option. I remember being asked if I really wanted to be the guy who’s strung out on porn the rest of his life, as if it was some kind of crippling addiction that would keep me from getting anything I ever wanted out of life. Even more importantly, however, it was through these frequent exchanges that I became familiarized with “Pavlov’s Dog Theory,” a scientific study so bastardized by the counselors that it existed solely to explain away the possibility of any non-heterosexual orientation. Being insecure with my own sexuality, it was of course music to my ears to discover that my attraction to the same sex, a perversion as I then recognized it, was the result of watching too much porn and could be easily resolved by the work outlined by the program. For the next few years, I would work endlessly to alter my sexual orientation back to “normal” and apparently did so well enough that I was eventually asked to attend the Meehan Institute of Counselor Training.

When I was in counselor training, most of what we discussed had very little to do with counseling; in fact, the information required to pass the state-mandated test was tossed aside in exchange for the radically inappropriate teachings that came directly from the program itself. Examples of this, of course, include the explanation that non-heterosexual orientations were not only “unnatural” but an expression of one’s perverse desire for instant gratification, usually resulting from either their addiction to porn, as I had already learned in outpatient, or their unresolved childhood trauma. It was also reasoned that an attraction to the same sex was often a natural consequence of being in an abusive relationship with a member of the opposite sex, a belief supported only by the theory that the person, in question, had unlikely resolved their own fear of getting hurt again. Some people were just “pussies” that had decided to seek the “easier, softer way,” an almost comical assumption given that there is nothing “easier” or “softer” about being queer. I would actually be referred to as a “pussy” while sharing to one of the program's many directors that I had sexual thoughts about other men. His solution for me was that since “there is nothing romantic about two men butt fucking each other,” I should spend the time wasted fantasizing about that on where I would like to take a girl on a date. It’s these ways of thinking that we, who’s families spend $5,600 to send us to counselor training, learn for the three months that we’re there. It’s these three months, where we are taught that absurdity is a natural substitute for science, that earn us the right to then counsel others, many of whom are children. I never could've imagined the abuse that would follow, despite the seeds that had been sown throughout the better part of my recovery.

A few weeks after I graduated from counselor training, when I was working the Step One shift, a couple of the program's directors took me away from it to smoke cigars with them. It was there that they talked to me about how I needed to work on developing more masculine qualities, perhaps by engaging in a hobby that was, according to them, “outside of my comfort zone.” Later on, one of my coworkers would lecture me for the way I had reached out to a girl in the group, explaining that she, along with others, might think that I’m gay for agreeing to watch a “chick flick” with her. Another coworker would make fun of me for crying to a song that reminded me of my dead parent, for the reason that it was, according to her, a “gay” thing to do. In one of the monthly purpose meetings, the director made jokes about me being “inside” of another male counselor - something that was received only with laughter. Bob Meehan himself would even tell the training class following my own that while I deserved the upmost respect for taking everyone’s shit, I was probably gay. When I would share how I felt, in reference to these incidents, I was told that my options were either to “change it” or to “own it.” I began to internalize all of this and, due to my own desire to be accepted, I began working even harder to change these qualities that had been deemed unacceptable by those around me. I would later be celebrated in a purpose for denouncing a dramatic television show for the reason that when I watched it, it made me feel like a “faggot;” however, even that wouldn’t satisfy those around me, as my sponsor, who was also my coworker, would suggest that I stop watching Friends, as well, due to the fact that it was the kind of show his wife watched. I would experience similar criticism from yet another coworker who suggested that I only liked “girly shit” for “shock value” and that it was nothing more than my ego attempting to differentiate myself from everyone else. If by now you’re wondering why I even participated in these conversations, all I can say is that it was always in pursuit of becoming a better man and I trusted that the staff had those answers. I couldn't have been more wrong, as I can't help but notice today that what I was subjected to is in direct opposition of the very laws that protect employees from this kind of treatment by their employers; however, in the program, what’s illegal is classified as “spiritual.”

For years, I felt relegated to a subclass of human existence and for what reason? I spent years working on the things that made my life unmanageable primarily because the people around me decided that it was. Furthermore, I was promised that if I stopped watching porn, which I did for years, my brain would rewire itself and I would no longer be attracted to men. As stupid as that sounds now, why wouldn’t I, as an 18 year old, believe what I was hearing from who I only presumed to be trained professionals? I trusted them and really worked hard to take their every suggestion, going as far as becoming a member of Sexaholics Anonymous, despite the fact that I had never even had sex at that point. It was nothing if not incredibly painful to do the same thing over and over again, only to be told to get up and try again by the very people who would describe that as insanity in any other case. I was never once told that what I was doing wasn’t working for me; instead, I was told to try harder. In all of the time I spent in the program, I was never even given the option to try something different until after quitting, when someone told me that my sexual orientation, whatever it may be, was perfectly acceptable and far from a determining factor in my ability to effectively work a program. It took years to hear that, the majority of which were spent somewhere that I definitely should have. That is not only unacceptable but they should be absolutely ashamed of themselves.

Alas, the problem I have with the program is not necessarily that they’ll never apologize to me, but that they lack the self-awareness to even consider it. When I shared my concerns about the program with one of their counselors, he dismissed them with the statement that it’s a perfect program ran by imperfect people and that I should judge them not by their actions, but by their intentions, which coincidentally, contradicts the program’s reliance on a quote from the big book of Alcoholics Anonymous that states exactly the opposite. He also told me that I was angry and resentful, despite the fact that I was neither. When I shared my concerns with another counselor, he dismissed them with the suggestion that perhaps the counseling I received, in regards to my sexual orientation, resulted from how I presented it to the staff. His feedback was not only highly insulting, but a complete bastardization of the facts. Not only was I brutally honest about that area of my life, so much that it's all I spoke of, but I was the client and it was far from my role to ensure that the counselors did their job. I was little more than a child at the time; nevertheless, the implication that my negative experiences were all my fault only served as evidence that any attempt to cooperate with the program, and convince them of the ways in which I was harmed, is futile. Why would I want to, anyway, after years of watching any criticism of the program be rationalized as the delusions of “bailed kids” or “disgruntled ex-staff?” The only answer would be to prevent it from happening again, although to think that outcome is even a possibility appears naïve at best. They’ve made it abundantly clear where they stand, that they’re right, everyone else is wrong, and there’s no reason for them to change anything - lest of course it threatens their credibility, which in that case they only become more insidious in their transgressions.

TLDR: The program not only intrusively dictates the sex lives of their clients, but has proven itself to be particularly unloving toward those who are LGBTQIA+. It is a cultural issue that can not be reduced to a few examples of bad counseling. It is clear that they see no reason whatsoever to change this.

[mineofilms]

The 3As of The Delusional Mind

I have been thinking about writing this BLOG for a while now. It took me a little bit of time to really sort my thoughts out on this subject, as one could see some of the things I will say here, EVERYWHERE… Especially on the INTERNET and that is how this all came to be…

As I usually do, I am crawling down the YouTube Rabbit Hole and I stumble upon this video, “The Bizarre World of Fake Martial Arts,” from YouTuber - Super Eyepatch Wolf. The video is about 30-minutes and in most cases I would not sit through a video of this length on this subject for more than a few minutes. However, after a few minutes I was hooked on what Wolf was presenting here. With 1.22 million subscribers I felt like this cat knew what he was talking about. The video has 6,577,655 views and was uploaded on February 1st, 2020. It has 241,000 Likes over 4,100 dislikes at the time I started writing this blog. So, yeah, all the stats are there to show this video would be something I may get something out of and I did. In a lot of ways it isn’t much different than how I attack subjects.

Now the video is about “The Bizarre World of Fake Martial Arts,” but that is only the label, the thing that is being discussed; the example. This video is really about:

Delusional people…

Their Delusional Behavior…

How they are able to convince people the delusion is real…

How SINISTER it really can be…

The format is just describing how this is associated to Fake Martial Arts People. If you all have the time to spare, the video is a must watch. It connects a lot of dots about how batshit crazy people can be and we allow them to be that way. We basically give them a pass to behave this way. I have never believed this is acceptable. We have become such a society full of pussies that many times people’s insane/delusional behavior gets a free pass. So, let us dig into the 3A's of the delusional mind:

Acceptance…Attention…Appreciation.

Delusional people require these “3As” from ALL people, ALL the time and now our society is becoming like this. We do not usually associated the 3As to people like this. We use buzz words like, “Attention Whore,” a “One Upper” or“Drama Queen.” We’ll use other medical terms like ADHD (Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder) to describe this sort of behavior, but rarely will we refer to these people openly as delusional. If you watch a lot of YouTube of people acting crazy and/or senseless out of the blue with little cause to generate that effect then you might label people “delusional” more often…

Most people know someone like this, either in life or on social media; especially social media. Hell, a lot of the end fighting on social media these days is usually a direct result of a delusional person saying some crazy-outlandish-shit to post; or comment on a post that triggered someone. They posted and/or commented with the intent to trigger… Not just, so it happens to be something triggerable. No, they want you pissed off or feeling insecure.

You do not dare call out delusional person on social media for being delusional. They will troll you and break every single word down to try to find some sort of witty angle that they can come at you with to show you are wrong about them. They will continue to harass you until you give them an acceptable reply, ala Acceptance, Attention, Appreciation. AKA you buy into their delusional fantasy. If people didn’t give these people a free pass back in the day or even now, before they could hide behind the INTERNET, perhaps we would have less sinister delusional people out there.

“There is no delusional idea held by the mentally ill which cannot be exceeded in its absurdity by the conviction of fanatics, either individually or en masse” ~Hoche

“Absurdity by conviction,” to me, defines the delusional. Talk to a few conspiracy theory people about what they believe in. They are completely convinced what they believe is real. It is their conviction about it that is scary as it defies logic, common sense and most of the time real-actual-facts about said subject.

In pretty much every blog I write and the concept of “facts” comes into play I tend to explain it the same way. You cannot base real theories on Pseudo-Science, where is,“Pseudo,” literally means, “not genuine; spurious or sham.” AKA not real…

A fact, by definition, is a theory… A theory is (an unproven fact, and educated guess without verified testing), that is later tested to be NOT FALSE.

That is what a FACT is. I use the basic 1+1=2 analogy. Theory… 1 of something + 1 of something, = 2 of something.

Go and test that theory in all the ways you can ADD a 1 of something to another 1 of something, the answer is?

Well, in this case its easy math. So say we test it 10,000 times. In 10,000 tests of different varieties we get the same answer, 2.

By that process, the scientific method, this theory is now a FACT. Here is the Wikipedia entry for a FACT...

Granted, as more complicated theories come forth more complex testing, variables, more complicated mathematics, and such come into the equation. So it isn’t always this simple. It’s almost always never this simple…

Acceptance – (Psychology) - a favorable attitude toward an idea, situation, person, or group . After reading this textbook definition of acceptance I have a sour feeling Cancel Culture will take these few words and expand on it to a point that there will be this textbook of psychology and a second one just for this word. It is the very feeling/emotion about this that is the problem. If everyone sees reality differently and unique to them, which is true, just not on a perceivable level, then why do people feel they need more acceptance than has been given to them?

I was, for a lot of years, on the outside of a particular bubble, while heavily inside others, or passively in others. I never wanted/needed more from the ones I was passive and heavily entrenched with. However, I always felt like I needed more from the bubble that I was on the outside of. After a time, I stopped caring and treated all bubbles the same, which was confusing at first for my peers, family, friends, girlfriends; girlfriends especially… It went against what most of us were taught about how we treat situations like this.

As I have gotten older I do not feel I need/want anything from any of the bubbles I currently perceive. I do not mean that literally as much as it sounds, but that longing to be part of the bubble I was outside of, yeah, that, isn’t there anymore. I believe, it started when I was young and it took this many years/time for the result to happen, nearly a lifetime or at least, a very large portion of one.

The delusional ones, go in the extreme opposite direction. The older they get, the needier they get. If a person is fixated on you, for whatever reason, it is hard to convince them otherwise.

Subtle, usually doesn’t work very well.

Remember, these people are seeing you in a completely different light than how you see it. It’s so radically different it is that difference that makes one uncomfortable, “creeped-out.” They want you to accept them, they are desperate for you to accept them. That is what makes it scary. You do not know the exact extent of their delusion or delusional state and why they are so heavily convicted with this power of belief that seems to leave you stupefied.

“The analogy I like is this; imagine being able to see the world, but you are deaf, and then suddenly someone gives you the ability to hear things as well, you get an extra dimension of perception. We must remember that we do not observe nature as it actually exists, but nature exposed to our methods of perception. The theories determine what we can or cannot observe... Reality is an illusion, albeit a persistent one. It is entirely possible that behind the perception of our senses, worlds are hidden of which we are unaware. The belief in an external world independent of the perceiving subject is the basis of all natural science. Since, however, sense perception only gives information of this external world or of "physical reality" indirectly, we can only grasp the latter by speculative means. It follows from this that our notions of physical reality can never be final. We must always be ready to change these notions - that is to say - the axiomatic basis of physics - in order to do justice to perceived facts in the most perfect way.” ~Albert Einstein

Attention – (Psychology) - The concentration of awareness on some phenomenon to the exclusion of other stimuli. Attention is awareness of the here and now in a focal and perceptive way. If you have ever dealt with a delusional person on a regular basis you will notice trying to talk about details from the past, be it a story they told you or things in their life, they always seem to never either remember it clearly or they really work hard to change the subject of the conversation. It is all about here and now with them. Its always onto the next manipulation. The next con… The next delusion…

It is about; look at them, fixate on them, pay attention to them,now… Not yesterday or tomorrow, past and future, but “here and now in a focal and perceptive way.” It could be they have to be up in your personal space all the time, you must text them before you go to bed or go to work. It is always attention on them and what they are doing… All the things that you do for yourself must be in direct relation to their self-serving nature.

You must comply with their delusion…

Appreciation – Since in textbook form, appreciation does not have a specific definition in relation to psychology; the word is used many times to describe a person’s emotional state indirectly over directly like the other 2As… However, appreciation is still defined as; “Acknowledging the value and meaning of something—an event, a person, a behavior, an object—and feeling a positive emotional connection to it.”

To “try” and put this in some sort of every day context; the celebrity Instagram posts that are about, being humble and their dreams coming true because of all our support as followers and/or fans, feels like an effort to get people fixated on a person’s accomplishments. The constant political and social takes “some” in the celebrity community takes is always shifting the focus one what “they” are “doing” for “others,” but they do not want to take credit for it but its all over social media. Their face is everywhere…

More self-serving feelings.

In the video, “The Bizarre World of Fake Martial Arts,” all the delusional people being profiled are people in their respective world’s, the leader of their mini cult of followers. The Master, the sensei, your boss, your best friend; perhaps a girlfriend/boyfriend. All people at that could be considered the head of the table; when it comes to people you are surrounded by.

What do we know about people that are in positions of power?

They always seek appreciation for what they do and more specifically what they do for you… You ever borrow some money from a friend? Not a lot of money but a little bit. Even after you pay the friend back. They never let you forget that you asked them for help and that they were the one that helped out. Not someone else, but them. It was them; they want you to know that and never forget about it. They turn around and use that against you too. Anytime they need something, which now, all the sudden, seems like it is more often now since you asked for help from them.

And this is where we come to; “How they are able to convince people the delusion is real…” And… “How SINISTER it really is…”

Predators come in all forms. At a young age we put the face of a monster on the face of the human predator that stalks us. To a child, the human predator is a monster. Sometimes, how the ignorance of a childlike mind can be the most honest thing in the Universe.

In the caveman days all you had to do was overpower the one you wanted to prey on and the fear would cripple them into submission. As the centuries came and gone people got smarter, able to think for themselves under distress and problem solve. That didn’t eliminate strength, power and aggression, but it could no longer 100% of the time work all the time. We invent martial arts and self-defense in general. We invent knives, mace, tasers and guns. Things change. The predator also got smarter. They figured out what a lie can do and if they can make a lie passable as a truth they could use that to manipulate their prey.

However, this technique has a fatal flaw… It only works on the weak-minded. It isn’t that all predators out there are master manipulators. Some are, sure, but you cannot manipulate someone who doesn’t take what you have to say as 100% truth and delusional people require that you do. If you do not believe them or in them then this trick won’t work well. It might for small things here and there, but it won’t work indefinitely.

I have straight up destroyed life-long friendships with former friends; because they were delusional people, and I couldn’t buy into their bullshit anymore. As a friend, a real friend, one tends to stand by their friend, especially when they get heat on them. However, I, personally, have never been a very self-serving personality. I mean this in; I do not do whole lot for others just because or just because they asked, begged, whatever. It isn’t in me to be that way, naturally.

I do things for the people I care about that I know care about me, and if I am not sold at that level, you are not going to sell me on it. So, I have always have one foot in and one foot out with those types of friends. There were a few instances where time got in the way and I couldn’t get rid of said friend till the timing was right. Mentally though; I had checked out as being someone they could manipulate on a reliable basis. Delusional people require you to believe in them and if you do not they have very little mental power over you. These are the few instances that they may leave you be as they only want the 3As from people they can sell the delusion to. If you do not believe them, in them and in their delusion. You do not have with which what they seek most.

Time can, and will, get in the way of critical, logical, thinking…

The prey of the delusional tend to be people that are a little down about their status in life. Be it depression, be it a weight thing, a popularity thing, whatever it might be. They do not feel ACCEPTED and they want to belong. The prey usually are people/kids who lack either/or/both the confidence and the knowledge to really decide for themselves if what this person is, is real or not. They want to believe so badly. They want to believe because they themselves have been convince by the delusional that without their help they will not be able to overcome…

This is exactly how I was trained to be a salesman in the fitness industry. I trained to be personal trainer, because I wanted to help people get through these rough patches in their fitness goals. As I once had people around me to get me where I had been at my pinnacle. Was I out to make a million dollars? No… I knew I was taking about a 50% pay cut going into fitness over doing what I was already doing. What I was already doing, I hated.

I felt so deflated every day…

Drive an hour to work. Work for about 40% less than the industry standard but does double, triple the work for 8-10 hours in an industry full of self-serving personalities that were all about 3As, all the time, as customers. Drive an hour home. Try to squeeze in my own gym time which ended up becoming obsessed about. Basically it was the only time/thing I did that genuinely made me happy and happy about myself. I wound up doing nearly 3 hour workouts, because I was so miserable with my current job. That was how I got involved in the fitness industry.

Flash-forward and all the gyms’ taught me to be was a delusional piece of shit. How to learn about people’s weaknesses and use that to convince them that they cannot achieve their fitness goals unless they sign up with my “personalized training / diet package.” It should be noted we were not allowed to technically teach them anything about diet. Actually that would have been counterproductive to get them to sign back up after their 6 weeks was done, with only moderate gains. Where we are taught to shift blame to them. As we cannot control what they do, eat, after they leave the gym. Hence why, even if qualified to, not to get overly suggestive with dieting.

Anyone that does fitness as a lifestyle knows what you put in your body, when, is far more important than what routine you do and how often you attack your body physically in fitness. Diet, Rest, Exercise is what most Doctors tend to say. Notice the word Diet frequently comes first and not because D is before E or R…

So the fitness industry is part of a mass-delusion. I have written about fitness in the past, a lot, and about how the industry is a hideous fashion show of itself. Just go on Instagram for a few minutes under a few fitness related hashtags, you’ll see. I was heavily involved in training all sorts of people and selling products, both in person and over the INTERNET. I was more than happy when I finally said, FUCK YOU, to the Industry. I lift now, only because it still gets me like it did the first time I lifted as a kid.

I was fooled about the fitness industry, because delusional people tried to get me to buy into this mass-delusion. I did what they said, but I never believed in it. Ultimately; that was what freed me from this going next level and actually changing me. Changing me to become the predator.

I wanted none of that.

I went back to jobs that made me miserable over losing my humanity. So when I talk about the 3As like this I do feel like I have some perspective here about how delusional minds work. My professional life, my personal life, even in my dating life.

It’s everywhere… People want to belong… People want to feel accepted…

When they don’t most of their life and someone comes along, makes a lot of huge claims on how they can make their life better that is the person a delusional predator wants to consume. You see all these older women being Catfished by people overseas for money and its all the same. The woman is lonely… She doesn’t feel good about herself. What does it say about her confidence if she is willing to let it all out on the line with a complete stranger she cannot see, really talk to or interact with? All she literally sees are texts on a screen. It is her fantasy and delusion that makes her believe that this could be real. There are plenty of signs in the internet dating world to tell if a person is real or not. If their intentions have any credibility to them. It isn’t that much different than the real world.

People behave like people.

If a person really cares about you they will do things to show that. Not just words on a screen, empty promises, but people will believe in what they want to believe. Even if you have proof, facts and other compelling data the person won’t believe you. That is how serious they hold onto these delusions.

Do not allow a delusion personality corrupt your mind. They will poison you, turn your reality upside down with a whole lot of nonsensical logic that they demand you to accept at face value without question. If you see this and are not 100% confident in yourself find someone who is to deal with that. You cannot convince them they are wrong. Only someone 100% not a believer in this specific delusion is able to defeat the delusion.

Sometimes KARMA comes when you least expect…

One of the strongest motives that lead men to art and science is escape from everyday life with its painful crudity and hopeless dreariness, from the fetters of one's own ever-shifting desires. A finely tempered nature longs to escape from the personal life into the world of objective perception and thought. ~Albert Einstein

The 3As of The Delusional Mind by David-Angelo Mineo 9/29/2021 3,604 Words