#i am always super dead unless its this topic and then im just ready

[elegyofthemoon]

sooo first day of classes was wack as hell

BUT i am super excited and happy (at the very least) for the first module so weeehoo !

[feral-anarchy]

Drama with TDP... Again

Quick Edit:  I am NOT choosing sides. I am still open to any and all information. I am simply giving you a side of a story I believe plays some part in all of this. Do with it what you will.  I am going to continue doing what I have been doing since the beginning until more information presents itself. If Aaron is bad- He will be dead to me and I will advicate for his immediate removal within the prefession as well as protection for these girls. Justice. If the girls are lying- I will continue to support Wonderstorm and keep doing what im doing now without much change. 

If you come to me aggresively, I will not aknowledge you, I will block and move on. Though I will still answer questions and take in any information with an open mind and a calm tone.  Secondary Edit:  I realised some of my times were off and a helpful anon was able to present me with a more accurate timeline. Ive copy and pasted their message to me so that you can have the accurate times.  Please be aware of this before reading the post below. I will not edit my original post as I wish to keep the original content intact to avoid possible confusion.  “The story with the aaravos blog can't have happened last year in april. That would make it april 2018 and the dragon prince wasn't even released before october 2018. All of this happened this year. Dani left in June. Lulu left like a couple of months later. August or september? But anyways it's not true that they left wonderstorm a year ago. It's been merely a few months and Lulu's departure is super recent.“ Final Edit: After searching on Twitter, I have come across this image. Aaron has spoken about this when it originally came out and had this to say of it. (This is a private message to someone who then went on to make it public.) 

~~~~~~~~~~~ Original Post Below ~~~~~~~~~~~ I really do not want to give any more effort into this but I feel that I must post. Im unsure of how many this will reach but I believe you need to know something before you continue to blindly choose sides. 

Listen, at the end of the day you will choose your ‘side’ though I wish there was no need for sides. 

This drama that is appearing all over twitter is OLD NEWS. Danika and Lulu DO NOT and HAVE NOT worked at Wonderstorm since this all went down a year ago. 

Here is my take on all of this: 

A year ago, I believe it was April? There was a very popular blog called Ask-Aaravos-Anything. This blog was liked and followed by a lot of the fanbase.  Well, out of the blue there were accusations of AAA child luring, having NSFW material littering their blog and not taking into consideration the younger fans. 

Now, anyone who actually interacted with this blog knew all of that to be absolute lies. AAA was always very traight forward, took everything into consideration, repeatedly reminded us to be mindful of how we tag things and never had actual nsfw materials on their blog. 

At the time Danika was managing the tumblr tdp blog. Danika DMed AAA and was vile and aggressive in her messages, enough so that AAA deactivated shortly after.  You can still find some of the screenshots of the actual DMs as well as some DMs of AAA conversing with others about what happened and how they had felt about it and why they were deactivating.  Soon after AAA’s deactivation, we got news that Danika had been scolded for her actions (As the entire fanbase who knew what was going on got up in arms about it) and she suddenly, convenietly had ‘another better job oppertunity’ And shortly after that we began to hear of general workplace harassment and gaslighting and sexual harassment from Danika.

As you know, that brought everyone up in arms once again and there was discourse. Then her friend, Lulu popped up as well with the same talk of harassment and having to deal with a negative work enviroment. Being in this industry for one is absolutely grueling, its not for everyone. It can be as bad as being in the film industry with actual actors.

Eventually things simmered down and life moved on. 

Both Danika and Lulu have had an ENTIRE YEAR to talk about this, to continue pushing the issue, to continue speaking of these issues- they were fine speaking of it last year. Yet they remained quiet for all this time. 

Now, when season 3 is about to drop, when Netflix likes to cancel shows, at this critical moment- they suddenly both pop up again?  Neither of them work there anymore, this shouldnt be an issue for them anymore. Especially when they had ALL THIS TIME to talk of it. Yet they didnt. 

And in regards to Danika stating they already had season 3 ready long, long ago- I have been in this industry briefly and I know people who are still in it, thats not how these things work. I doubt they were done months and months ago and were just sitting around doing nothing. Animation takes time- I wont get into it but its a lot. 

Now listen.. As hard as it might be to swallow, we DO NOT know all the facts, only what we have been told by Danika and Lulu. And with Aaron refusing to make any statements or even acknowleding theres anything going on its hard to gather any real information- and we wont. We will not get anymore information, we will not get any more facts. 

Unless authorities are involved or someone brings in a hidden camera into the studio, we will never know what the actual truth is. If it comes out that the girls are right then I’ll eat a spreader bar. 

But I am going to continue supporting TDP and those who are part of this creation. (I dont care about Aaron, I care about the animators, voice actors, sketch artists, ect) I am going to continue posting content, continue writing fanfic, continue interacting with TDP related blogs. 

Because I find it VERY suspicious this crap pops back up right now when its been so silent for an entire year. 

If you couldn’t tell already, I already am wary of these girls because of what they did to AAA and the community at the time. 

I refuse to be a mindless follower, I will not take sides until there are actual FACTS presented.  I know this all sounds harsh, but I am wary of trusting anything spoken without proof. I have proof- just look it up, the old screenshots are still floating around.  Im a assault survivor too- I am in full support if this all comes out to be true- and Ill eat that spreader bar. 

I just thought I would put in my two cents and let you all know what originally went on, and why i am suspicious of this all flaring up again after being silent for so long.  I will not be speaking of this again, nor will I be posting another big post such as this. However I will answer any questions you may have on this topic.  Im not bashing on the girls, I am simply wary of believeing anything they say after what they did to AAA. 

[somedaypast-thesunset]

I'm pretty proud of myself today. It's easy to feel like you're doing better when there's no imminent problem - it's coping with those problems that really define "doing better". Today I did better.

I was really upset I didn't get my deposit from welfare and I had alot of negative thoughts like I don't deserve this money anywYs and I should just struggle because it's a hand out but like that's not really okay and even if other people think that they're not stealing food to eat? I live a secondary very poverty filled life. I keep up an act of being healthy or not hungry or not in need. I put an effort into how I look even if I can't really afford to all the time because your less likely to receive help the more you look like you need help.

But this is my honest true life and I actually appreciate my friend seeing through my jokes about it and responding in a moderately serious manner and relating to my plight. It helped set a better honest reality between us as well.

So I cried about it and was frustrated. I wanted to get more overdraft but it's shameful I'm in overdraft already and I shouldn't need to anyways. They wouldn't do it over the phone. I decided to get dressed and take pictures. Then I went to the square and worked on my laptop for an hour before it died and I went home. But then a few hours later, after eating lunch, I went to the library and continued to work on my shop before going home again.

I got frustrated around 5 - still no money and it's been six fucking days. Four business days. Crazy. It's a direct deposit. I went to the bank and asked about it - they had no answer. I asked about overdraft and I had like an awkward meeting with I suppose my financial guy. He d3cidrd to apply for a credit card like its somehow any better but then forged the hell out of the application and I left but wow the insane lies he put that are not remotely what my life is.like he created a fantasy life on paper that is just lies. I did not realize until I walked away because I did not tell him anything of this nature so wow.

Then I saw a friend who offered more cash which I felt realllllllly shitty for because she's given me 140$ in like a week. Literally. And I can only hope she doesn't put that together cuz wow that's not good. But I didn't ask her for anything but 50 so it's less bad but not good. Not proud. I am trying though. This is the most amount of trying I've done and like I want to just be better but it's a process and I'm really learning to accept the process of getting better. It really is like daily hourly thing and I'm being mindful to take it easy because I can't do it all. Im not even ready to. But I am ready to let go of my past and my tragedy. Here's a fun tinder fact: no matter how long u talk to a person, no matter what topic if youbmention dead parents the convo almost always stops. I am literally being myself. I have no I'll will or anything like I'm being friendly and socializing and being interested in the people of the world and as soon as that drops, it's like a r3cord scratch, everyone leaves. Like am I lying? Do they think I'm making it up? Is it too heavy? Man, ppl casually drop oh I'm having dinner at mybmoms or fishing with dad but I can't even say they don't exist.

This is not a me problem. That's their problem and I'm not mad about it but it's something to know. I have to ignore this to maintain regular conversation and that sucks but I have to adapt.

I'm becoming independent from him and it's great not to be tied up emotionally in him. I love him and it's not over but I really don't care right now. I am working on me. He said today in jest that I didn't call him back like I said I would a few hours before. I didn't realize he even cared. He doesn't really but he does. He mentioned not getting a desperation text yesterday I guess because he called and I didn't actually call back. He knows I'm on tinder as well and I'm sincerely not even going to meet anyone in person but it's really harmless. I think he knows this but obviously feels some ways.

To be honest I'm not sure how to be a better partner right now. I include him in my happenings for the most part and I maintain interest in his life but he's not here and I'm honestly getting bored. Hopefully as I get better I'll find more things to occupy my time. Like if I keep trying and working on myself it'll just come to my life because it's apart of getting better. Maybe I'll paint. The mandolin was really good even if I play3d it 5 times. That really saved me and like gave me one iota of who I am. I am a wake up and do a thing person. I make it happen. And I showed myself that I could get a mandolin and play it to some d3gree. I made music with it. Very well invested 17$ to lay on the floor and play bad mandolin.

So I can do this. And maybe progress and gettingbbeter sometimes is boring. That's what makes it unappealing to the depressed. It's not super fun all the time. It's not instant happy.

I have no plans for tomorrow. I really want my bike back from my not great friends house but she's far and sucks. I don't want to hang out with her. I don't have a ton of options and I mostly hangout with her for free weed now. Not because I really want to see her. Doesn't help the boredom problem.

I do have some money and I hope my other money comes in because I'm scared to spend this now. Actually it's okay because I've spent some and can't afford easy weed. I think I'll survive with the small amounts I gather and if I do go to her house for free weed I really need to ride my bike home so maybe I won't go unless I do that but weed isn't known for its activity.

Atleast I'll have reason to go out and eat. Maybe grocery store for cat food. New pens for my journal. I wish I had my bike to go the other way even though it's probably the same distance as the normal walk. I could get better pens.

Whatever. If I wake up and get dressed it'll be great. I'm trying to take a picture a day which is easy and builds confidence and explores my early creative life passions again. I used to take great self portraits. I want to do that again but my phone really sucks. I still used to make do anyways. I'm trying to do my makeup with effort even though it's cheap shitty makeup. I look okay though. I'm not trying to hide anything but it's like putting on a mask and helps me pretend like I'm apart of the hustle too.

I do miss him.