#i am again contemplating what if i tried to just delude myself so heavily of an imaginary person with me imaginary lovet
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
130K people were victims of a chain letter scam that affected Tumblr in May 2011.
Text
Reading a new book on love and feeling gradually more and more hopeless ToT
#rant#feeling 1/2 hopeless cause ive already done at least half these exercises years ago and changed my life for the#better already. so like. i already did that growth ToT it didnt find love lmao#(it was good growth and worth it! i just mean like. clearly for ME that specific growth wasnt the#Specific Ones i NEED to find a relationship)#anyway 70 lessons left in this book to attempt! feel absolutely miserable#the other hopeless 1/2 is i have 70 lessons to get through. assuming i did half already then 35 lessons to do#and 70 to read. abd im feeling like. okay so its been 5 years huh.#so what if i do this entire book and still dont have a crush for another 5 years. or 10 or 15 pr 20 or 30#i wanna have sex and cuddle and stay up talking with someone i love getting to know ToT#i can cuddle myself but honestly its not really the same#i am again contemplating what if i tried to just delude myself so heavily of an imaginary person with me imaginary lovet#and just went insane enough to see a person who isnt there and doesnt exist#and accepted no one alivr and real will ever hold me in a cuddle and kiss my forehead#and accept im alone. thats just who mejo is. no one is gonna meet mejo#anyway this book like most love books says to be illogically INTENSELY optimistic so im gonna try to be for approximately 3 months while i#read it. but honestly its making me feel like a big failure.#all the cases in this book sound like they didnt find love cause they actually pushed ppl away. until they learned not to.#but the thing is im painfully self aware and eager and excited to do self wotk. u point out a flaw of mine#i will work relentlessly on becoming aware of it and changing it qnd doing the journaling therapy work hobby changes etc nececarry#so like. i dont push people away. unless theyre 9bviously abusive.
0 notes