#i am a smol creature and bright light hurts my eyes :>

[banalbones]

The Petite Prince: Chapter 5

Chapter 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8

Chapter 5: The Treasure Hunt, Part 2

Summary: Roman is a child. Virgil and Logan lost him, and have been questing to find him for way too long. Remus loves his bro, but is feeling a bit more chaotic.

Words: 2485

Ships: Familial prinxiety, logince and Creativitwins. Eventual familial royality, roceit and DRLAMP  

Genre: Fluff with a side dose of angst

Warnings: A few swears, tiny blood mention, arguing, a mention of being unconscious, a dragon, falling, tell me if there’s any more!

Taglist: @pricklyfish777 @sunflowerblondeuwu  @itriedandimtired @draw-your-perfect-world @cemmy @battlebunnyteardropsinthesun @nonbinary-lizard-2

_________________________

The ‘twins’ were doing karaoke with the birds.

“Love is an open doo-oo-oor!”

The song was perfect for the pair, an adorable ‘love’ song for Roman, and a Disney villain tune for Remus.

Roman was grinning madly, his gap tooth showing, as his sweet little child voice perfectly nailed all of the notes.

“You’re really good at this,” Remus commented, taking a break from the song. “But Elphaba’s better.”

Cue the *o f f e n d e d p r i n c e y n o i s e s*.

“She’s a bi- she’s a bird! How can she be b- be better?”

Remus cackled. Annoying his brother was fun, even when he was a child.

He probably shouldn��t be thinking that, but still.

Quoting Virgil, sometimes I just gotta be me-an.

The smol one wacked his leg with the stick.

(Remus truly didn’t know how he kept getting it.)

“You know,” he said, “We could decorate the stick.”

That was a thing kids did right? Decorating sticks? 

Apparently it was, as Roman squealed in delight and jumped around, whilst simultaneously summoning paint and glitter and smaller sticks and a whole lot of other stuff Remus didn’t bother to acknowledge.

I would have just gotten blood.

_________________________

“Are we supposed to climb this thing?” Virgil asked incredulously.

Logan wasn’t looking at the tower, so much as the dragon. It had shimmering scales, the color of the sea, covering the entirety of its lithe body, with accents of a bright gold littered throughout. The sunset colored wings however, were the things that stuck out most.

The dragon was quite beautiful and had cool wings, in an abbreviated sentence.

It also appeared to be asleep, which was definitely a pro in this situation of cons.

“If we wish to retrieve Roman, I believe so.”

“Well, fuck.”

_________________________

Virgil for all his faults, was loyal. Or so he told himself. Janus (?!?!), when the emo was still a part of the Others, had told him that dark sides were extremely protective of what they deem to be theirs.

So he supposed it made sense that he, the literal embodiment of anxiety, was about to climb a fifty foot tower with no safety precautions, just to save the little prince.

He turned to Logan and grinned sheepishly.

“So, uh, do you want to start?”

Just because Virgil was going to do it, didn’t mean he had to go first.

_________________________

The Dragon Witch smirked slightly as she rested her scaled head atop the tower’s black roof, gazing down at the two sides.

Looked like it was time to drop the ladder.

_________________________

Logan rolled his eyes at Virgil and began to reach for the tower, not sure what he was actually going to do when he touched it, when suddenly a pile of pili fell on his head.

“What the heck?”

The sub-astute teacher looked up to see… a rope of hair?

What?

“It’s like in Tangled!” Virgil said, somewhat excitedly.

“The Disney movie?”

“The Disney movie.” Virgil nodded.

“So what do we do, climb it?”

“I mean I guess,” The Supreme Dark Overlord of Negative Commerce (That’s a throwback) paused, “Because I don’t see any stairs.”

Logan, once again, rolled his eyes.

Might as well start climbing.

And so he did.

_________________________

Roman watched LoLo begin to climb through the fly-eyes. It seemed so fun!

Maybe he could do that one day…

If Remus would let him.

Roman giggled.

He probably would.

_________________________

Remus had wanted to add a thorn bush at the bottom of the tower, to be true to the original, ya know? But the smol one hadn’t wanted them to get hurt.

Again.

So instead, he had come up with an ingenious compromise that Logan would have been proud of.

Put vines at the bottom, but make them look like thorns!

It would be so funny to see Virgil panic and try even harder not to fall, especially with the armor-

Oh yeah!

“RoRo, do you want to give them the armor now?”

The little prince nodded enthusiastically, his face scrunching up in concentration.

And then…

“I did it!”

Little did the prince know that Remus had done a slight flick of the wrist, ensuring that the metal protection would… weigh them down.

He may be my brother, and I still love and will protect him at all costs, but I am always a chaotic rat man.

_________________________

I can’t believe you acknowledged that you were a chaotic rat man.

I can.

_________________________

Patton hummed softly, twirling around as he made the brownies.

He had tried checking on Roman in his room, but the princely side hadn’t answered.

So, he decided to make brownies to give to Roman when he felt like he could talk to him again!

If he ever felt like he could…

Patton shook his head quickly, dismissing the thought.

He would! It was Roman, after all!

Patton swallowed.

It was Roman, after all…

_________________________

Logan was halfway up the tower (and the hair) when he felt a weight be placed on his body. A very heavy weight.

The logical side was now extremely glad he had made Virgil stay on the ground.

Gravity tugged a little too hard on Logan for his own liking, and then he was falling.

And falling.

And f

           a

                 l

                      l

                           i

                               n

                                       g

                                            .

Into a pile of thornbushes?

Logan inwardly groaned. It was like in the Grimm Brother’s version of the fairytale.

The prince fell into a bunch of thorns and got blinded.

I’m already blind enough, come on!

He barely registered Virgil screaming out his name through the rush of air and thoughts.

And then he landed.

________________________

Virgil screamed as Logan fell.

He was gonna die!

Could sides even die?

He didn’t think so, but what if they could?

The emo’s mind was so filled with what ifs, that he barely registered the dumping of heavy metal on his shoulders.

It was like a weighted blanket but five times heavier.

“Oof.” He was pulled to the floor, just as Logan landed… in a pile of thorns?!

How had he not noticed that?

“Holy shit! Logan!”

He heard a groan.

“Ow.”

Virgil breathed a sigh of relief.

At least he was alive.

_________________________

You fell off a tower?!

Yes. I just said that.

How did you survive?

We’re getting to that.

_________________________

The teacher figure groaned as he opened his eyes. He wasn’t blind, and he wasn’t bleeding.

That was a good sign.

It seems I have not, in fact landed in a pile of thorns.

“Holy shit! Logan!”

Logan attempted to move his head. A fall like that could not be good for his neck.

He managed it, if only slightly, to see a raccoon-like side running, well trying to run, towards him.

“Hello, Virgil. Before you ask, no, I do not know how I am alive.”

“Are you-”

“Yes, I am indeed hurt,” Logan interrupted, “I fell twenty five feet, what did you expect?”

“I don’t… whatever. How come you’re wearing armor?”

Logan responded with a dry “You are too,” before craning his neck (ow) to see that he was, in fact, wearing a bunch of bulky metal.

It was very blue. Or indigo, depending on how specific you wanted to be.

“Why is it so heavy?”

“That’s because of Remus,” a very familiar, lilting voice answered, as weapons materialized in the boys hands.

“Oh shit,” he heard Virgil mutter.

Logan looked up (once again, ow) to see the dragon that had been sitting atop the tower flying towards them.

It let out a roar.

To mirror Virgil’s earlier words, oh shit.

_________________________

Roman stood proudly, brandishing his stick for all to see.

By all, he meant Remus and the birds, as they were the only ones left to see it.

(The other forest creatures had to go, they had told Roman, it was almost dinner time for them.)

Apparently, birds had really weird eating schedules.

Big me had a really weird eating schedule too. He only ate during the night.

That, along with the fact big him never slept at night either led to the little prince forming a rather intelligent conclusion.

Big him was nocturnal!

Like an owl!

Wait…

If Big him was nocturnal (or an owl)…

Did that mean ReeRee was too?

…

“ReeRee… are you a- you an owl? Or noc- or noc-tur-nal?”

The Duke turned.

“Also, do yo- do you li-li-li’ my stick? Its glitty-ery!”

The tiny royal’s big brother looked confused.

“No? Why? Your stick is splendiferous, by the way.”

Now it was Roman’s turn to be confused.

(He was happy with the reaction to the stick.)

“Big me is. How co-how come you aren’t?”

Maybe the lack of sleep at night isn’t something that owl’s do.

Oh! Elphaba’s leaving! Byeee!

The petite prince was so caught up in his train of thought that he didn’t see Remus’s concerned gaze.

Bye bye birdies!

_________________________

Virgil stared at the bedazzled dirk in his hand, the onyx gems glinting in the light of the fire.

Wait, fire?

The emo turned to see a large green dragon (?!?!) diving towards him, flames spewing out of its mouth.

A dragon?

Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit

“Virgil! Move!” he heard a voice shouting.

But for a moment he was paralyzed.

Then, in a way that was opposite his regular behavior, he let out a battle cry and leapt towards the reptilian rapscallion (Roman would be proud), brandishing his weapon.

The dragon roared as Virgil threw one of his dirks, the sharp metal burying itself in a shimmering teal scale.

No blood emerged.

One weapon wasted.

“What the fuck are you doing, you inbecile? Run!”

For some reason, Virgil decided to ignore the admittedly good advice.

The dragon swiped at the anxious side, knocking him into the hard brick of the tower.

The scaled beast crept forward.

It poked Virgil’s head, slamming it back into the stone.

And then the world was fading to black.

Well, he knew that wasn’t good.

_________________________

Logan shut his eyes, restraining a groan of frustration.

WHY did people (metaphysical people) never listen to him?

Virgil was the smallest of the sides (apart from Roman, at the moment) and though he was fight or flight, the anxious side really didn’t know how to defend himself, especially against dragons. It also didn’t help that he only had a tiny daggers and a leaden suit of armor to protect himself.

Logan took a deep breath.

…

When the logical side’s eyes reopened, he was subjected to the view of Virgil being yeeted (slang words) into the tower.

Virgil was quickly climbing up the idiot list.

Very quickly indeed.

_________________________

Where am I on the list right now?

The same place as you were when this happened.

Where was I?

That is not important.

What? Yes it i-

_________________________

Remus was concerned. Which was weird for him.

What did the smol one mean?

An owl?

Nocturnal?

Was Roman secretly an owl? Or did his twin have a really unhealthy sleep schedule that led to negatively affecting his mood, energy levels and attention span, making him lash out in even the slightest of stressful situations whilst simultaneously causing his metaphysical human being-like health and mental health to deteriorate?

Nah, he was probably an owl.

And with that (most of) Remus’s concern washed away.

His brother was an owl.

_________________________

Roman was watching the battle through the fly-eyes. Well, battle was an over exaggeration. It was really just VeeVee getting smacked into a wall by a dragon (who looked suspiciously like the Dragon Witch Big him had killed a while ago).

The prince looked to where Logan was.

The nerd looked reeeeeally annoyed.

Probably because now he had to defeat the dragon all by himself.

What’s he gonna do?

Roman watched as the logical side got up, a broadsword appearing in his grasp.

The prince summoned a bowl of popcorn.

He should throw it. Mama should definitely throw it.

Logan threw it.

And missed.

The sword didn’t even get near it!

Come ooooon, Mama.

The dragon roared and pounced on Logan, baring its teeth.

Roman leaned forward, a handful of popcorn nearing his mouth.

This was getting good.

A drop of saliva dripped onto Logan’s face…

Aaaaaannd…

He was whisked away from the fly-eyes view by a pair of grimy hands.

“ReeRee! No fair!”

“Sorry RoRo.”

The little prince pouted, and Remus held something out to hi.

“Look I made a stick!”

_________________________

Did it work?

Did what work?

The stick. As a distraction.

It wasn’t a distraction, I just really wanted to show him my stick!

Liesssss.

It was also a distraction.

_________________________

Patton was becoming concerned.

Roman usually would have come out by now.

Maybe he decided to talk to someone else.

But who?

Definitely not Janus, for obvious reasons. Maybe Virgil?

I should check. Just to see if he’s okay.

I’ll bring the brownies.

Just in case…

And so the walk to Virgil’s room began.

_________________________

Do it for the child.

That was the mantra that Logan was repeating in his head.

He truly did not appreciate being carried through the sky in a dragon’s claws, especially since it had caused his glasses to fall off of his face.

For the last time, I’m already blind! Why is it always me?

It also didn’t help that every single part of his body was aching.

_________________________

Do it for the bean.

That was the mantra that would probably have been repeated in Virgil’s head at this moment, if he wasn’t unconscious.  

_________________________

Patton frowned.

Virgil wasn’t there.

Maybe Roman and his dark strange son were with Logan!

And so the walk to Logan’s room began.

_________________________

Remus giggled.

RoRo had forgotten about the fly-eyes almost immediately, being too distracted by the glowing stick.

He waved his hand.

A visitor (or two) was about to drop in.

_________________________

Patton furrowed his brows.

Logan wasn’t in his room either.

Were they all together?

Who else could they be with?

Remus?

It was worth a shot.

And so the walk to Remus’s room began.

_________________________

Back in the dragon witch’s claws, a fully healed, very confused Virgil awoke, and Logan felt all of his physical pain disappear, along with the stupid heavy armor.

And then they were thrown through the window of the brick monstrosity,

----------------

As Patton twisted the door handle,

-----------------

As Virgil and Logan crashed through the floor of the tower,

-----------------

As Remus looked up to see the ceiling falling in,

-----------------

As Patton pushed open the door,

-----------------

As the left brain boys fell into the Duke’s room.

Oh boy.

_________________________

Roman looked up from the stick to see ReeRee grinning like a madman (That’s pretty normal), VeeVee and Mama sprawled on the floor (Yay! Why’s the ceiling broken?), and Da- Patton glancing around the room with a plate of brownies in his hands (ohnohonohonohonohonoh).

The petite prince was feeling slightly overwhelmed.

“Wha?”

_________________________

Thanks for reading this chapter of the Petite Prince!

(And by the way, at the time of the stick distraction, Roman is around five. If you’re confused, don’t be scared to ask.)

Any and all feedback is appreciated!

[shirtlesssammy]

13x02: The Rising Son

Then:

Protect this precious nougat roll

Now:

In Crowley’s former throne room, minion demons stand around, getting drunk, waiting for Lucifer to return. The lights flicker, the doors flies open, and Colonel Sanders appears ready to reveal all 11 herbs and spices!

It’s Asmodeus! Poll: who else has been pronouncing it wrong since last season when they pronounced it wrong on the show? Also note the white suit. Color is insanely bold and symbolic in this episode. He makes it clear to the eager minions that the “grand old days of fire and brimstone are back.” I laugh, but am willing to give him a chance. He might be a fun and cool character --he’s not annoyingly overly campy and bad; he’s just temporarily written that way. He calls some demons forward, and without reason kills the rest. Hmm. Is that really the best way to get your inherently devious and constantly borderline rebellious followers to fall in line?

After the title card we find Baby Cas Jack sleeping in the back of the Impala as Sam stresses about his broken brother and Dean drives away his grief.

Dean is still Jack’s #1 anti. His desire to end “it” hurts way more than it should after one episode with the kid. Sam counters that Jack might be their only way to get their mom back. Sidenote: Remember all our -now seemingly void-- spec about nephilim power bringing back Cas? I’m still curious if this is still in play in some fashion? The show is making it clear there’s a connection between Jack and Cas. If Cas is in the Empty, and God ain’t listening, then what ultra-powerful supernatural creature could still work his magic?

Meanwhile, Mary is on the worst nature walk of her life.

Mary thinks Lucifer will eventually kill her, but he wants to exchange her for his son. Suddenly, a giant fireball flies through the air, separating Mary from her captor.

Back at Crowley’s former throne room (which is in an insane asylum in Jersey, right? Am I remembering this right? They’re not in Hell right now?), demon minion #1 reports that Lucifer is nowhere -not even the cage. Uh, what? So peeps can just pop in and out of that thing like it’s Starbucks now?

Asmodeus wants Jack found as well. Colonel Sanders is kinda fun, ok. His Scar scars are courtesy of Lucifer. Eager to please, he once released the shedim --”Hell’s most savage.” Also, creatures of Jewish folklore. Might we need Aaron Bass to help with their eventual downfall later this season? Please?  

Dean starts hallucinating sheep on the road so Sam makes him pull over and they check in to the visibly dingy Black Hat Hotel. Jack thinks it’s nice though. PROTECT. Here’s some meta on the colors of the hotel. I was particularly drawn to Dean checking out the YELLOW bathroom --you know, the place that Cas often reconnected with Dean over the years. This isn’t the first time that we’ve seen Dean check the bathroom either. Sure, it’s probably a good idea to check a fleabag hotel’s bathroom, especially if you’re a neat freak, but what’s this new Dean thinking? His hope is gone --maybe it’ll appear in the bathroom?

Jack gravitates for the TV, much like his father before him. ALL THE Awwwwwwsssss. He’s even watching Scooby Doo --which only breaks Dean’s wall of hatred for a millisecond. Dean kicks Jack to the couch and throws a bible at him. Jack opens to Song of Solomon. The lifelong atheist in me didn’t know the significance, but my lapsed Catholic partner in crime knew all. Sam tries to be a good parent and offers Jack a bed, but Jack declines and starts reading the history of his very messed up family.

In between TOTALLY ADORABLE mimicry sessions, Dean, Sam, and Jack discuss Lucifer, God, and the world. It’s an awkward bit of exposition that’s still totally worth it just to watch Jack shadow Dean. Stop winning me over kid. It’s going to hurt too much to say goodbye. Sam wonders about everything Jack is able to do. Jack is uncertain. They ask if he can teleport. “If you wanted to be on the other side of that door, right this instant, what would you do?” Dean asks. ...and Jack proceeds to walk over to the door, and walk outside. And then knock to be let back inside. What a nougat. Sam concludes, “You know, it’s possible he’s more human than we thought.” Sam lets him back in and Jack couldn’t be prouder.

Jack’s Power Profile (Update)

Glowing eyes

Glowing healing ability

Sonic scream

Ability to highly manipulate his body / rapid aging

Powers manifest instinctively when threatened

A smol bean

Too precious

Sweeter than nougat

Meanwhile, in the hallway, a mysterious figure approaches the boys. Sam and Dean are on high alert --only to find Donatello, the soulless prophet! My theory that he wouldn’t really miss or need his soul to function in the world proved somewhat right. He does miss it, but his high intelligence quotient allows him to ask “What would Mr. Rogers do?”, thus allowing him to navigate his moral ship correctly through life. He was enjoying retirement when he was hit with a blast of Not-Quite-God feelings, and had to find the source. “Maybe less human as we thought,” Dean concludes. Sam realizes that angels will find them sooner than later so he needs protection.

To the tattoo shop!

Sam pulls a full on Obi Wan, proposing that Jack’s powers can be used for good. He just needs to learn to control them --as he completely blows out the tattoo artist’s machines. In Jack’s defense: “It hurt.” “Ok, so sometimes things hurt, so you just man up and deal with it.” *do not picture John telling this to a 5 year old Dean**do not picture John telling this to a 5 year old Dean**do not picture John telling this to a 5 year old Dean**do not picture John telling this to a 5 year old Dean*

Jack accepts his fate of a painful existence and gets the tattoos, but they quickly disappear (I was about to ask why Cas’s didn’t heal, but he was human then. I wonder if they’re gone now that he’s an angel again? I guess it doesn’t matter now that he’s dead. *crying in corner*)

Back at the hotel, Sam, Dean, and Donatello stand around talking about Jack like he doesn’t exist. (Dean also talks about the small, inane domestic things he did with Cas, like go to the dentist. Sigh. Dean, you’re in so much pain, even the dentist is a memory worth sharing.) Sam keeps advocating for the little half-devil, but Dean is so far gone there’s no reasoning with him. Donatello mentions the Nature vs. Nurture conundrum --which will hopefully be more fully explored in a later episode. Jack gets tired of confrontation and disappears. So much like his father.

He relocates to outside the hotel, thinking about his mother and Castiel. Sam finds him and tries to reassure him about all that’s happening. I like how the Black Hat hotel sign was positioned between them. Does Jack wear the black hat? How right is Dean? (Not very when his emotions cloud the situation.) And in an episode where the new Big Bad is wearing white, what does it say about black? Jack wonders if he’s worth all this trouble? (Oof, he’s more like Dean than Dean will ever realize.)    

Dean, meanwhile, is at his old hangout the Black Spur Bar (he had many a good time during his summer of love there). He chats with the friendly waitress but takes off before drinking too much. And as he leaves the camera pans down to the real waitress, dead behind the bar. Colonel Sanders is in disguise and now knows where Team Free Nephilim is.

At the hotel Donatello knocks to the tune of Shave and a Haircut and Sam invites him in. Donatello is bright and sunny, his cheerful morning persona apparently undented by his lack of a soul. Sam inquires after Jack who stayed in Donatello’s room due to Dean Bean’s righteous anger. Well. Since Sam brought up Jack...Donatello is Mister Curious and Sam fills him in on Jack: he’s not allied with Lucifer, he loves his mom, and Jack can be molded towards goodness. “Molded, eh?” Donatello asks with interest.

Back in the darkest timeline, Mary’s exploring the wasteland when a guy jumps out with a gun. He asks her who she is and she tells him her name and that she’s a hunter. “Doubt it,” he says. “Ain’t never met a female hunter. Not many women period since the wars began.“ Which. Okay. FUCK YOU, Buckleming for implying that women couldn’t hack the apocalypse. I don’t know why I’m quibbling about the friggin’ apocalypse except that this seems to me like such an unnecessary detail - as though ovaries are an inherent barrier to survival. (Fires rage flame-ball at the TV.) Anyway, OF COURSE there’s a rape threat thrown in here as well. (Throws another fireball at the screen.) Mary doesn’t even get to rip out his organs. Lucifer does it for her. (Throws yet another fireball at the smoking remains of my TV screen.) Anyway. Lucifer tells her that they’re all in this together, kumbaya, etc. He attacks her with stomach cancer, probably, since that seems to be a favorite of angels.

Back at the hotel, Dean walks in with coffees and pastries. Although he was super eager to jet the night before, they’re apparently enjoying a lazy morning of research and coffee runs. Sam sits Dean down and tells him that they need to get on the same page. Sam insists that they’ve been at rock bottom before and they can “fix this.” Donatello swans into the room. He’d like to talk to Sam about Jack. Sam’s a bit confused. Didn’t they just have a heart to heart about Jack’s mental state? Donatello disagrees. He was out grabbing breakfast burritos. The three head to Donatello’s hotel room to find Jack missing. They determine that fake Donatello has absconded with Jack and are trying to figure out what to do when Donatello’s god radar bleeps on. He knows where Jack is! Quick! Wave him around like a celestial metal detector!

Dean grabs their stuff from the other hotel room when a tiny sound alerts him to an attacker. It’s a demon! Dean fights him off long enough for Sam to sneak up and stab the demon. Then Sam and Dean head out to save Donatello in the hallway. Dean whips an angel blade into the demon’s throat.

Hold for just a moment. *Fans self and replays the blade throw*

Okay, I’m back! In a lovely prairie the fake Donatello (aka Colonel Sanders) tells Jack that he needs to train himself to use his powers. How, Obi Wan? Donatello tells him that God had powerful soldiers - the shadim - that were locked away in Hell, and that God wants Jack to free them. Jack totally believes him, the eager smol bean that he is. He focuses his mojo on the patch of earth in front of him.

Dean, Sam, and Donatello race towards Jack and Colonel Sanders. They’re headed into Jasper, Wyoming which Sam notes, “according to Dad’s journal, Jasper is home to its very own gate to Hell which leads to a place where unimaginable evil” is imprisoned - the shadim. Awesome. (My esteemed co-blogger points out that for some reason Sam is toting around their dad’s journal. With their essentially photographic memories, why would they need to carry that around with them? I feel like this is a cheap play for nostalgia.)

I don’t have time to grumble, because in the darkest AU, a flight of angels arrives tricked out in military gear to question Lucifer and Mary. They don’t believe Lucifer when he says his name because Michael, in their reality, killed Lucifer already. Lucifer rolls his eyes and kills them all with a snap of his fingers. Suddenly there’s a WHAM BANG CRASH and something barrels into the earth. An angel flashes its wings and a man strides from the smoking hole. He’s shocked to see Lucifer. The two brothers meet each other...again.

Meanwhile, Jack starts to crack open the shadim’s gateway while Colonel Sanders jumps around for joy. A taloned hand begins to climb from the pit when Dean, Sam, and the real Donatello come up. Dean shoots Colonel Sanders and he bursts into his true form, then Darth Vader chokes the interlopers. This breaks Jack’s concentration and the pit closes up. His eyes angrily glow yellow at Colonel Sanders - who hasn’t stayed alive for this long because he’s stupid. Colonel Sanders zaps the fuck out of there.

Back in frowny face land Lucifer and Michael continue to circle each other. They punch each other to the sound effects of thunderclaps. Michael tells Lucifer he isn’t going to kill him. He needs him.

Back at the bunker Dean and Sam process the recent events. Sam tells him that Jack saved them. Dean’s convinced that Jack’s reactions - his powers - are reflexes. Dean’s not won over. He heads to bed, then hears something odd down the hall. He goes to investigate and finds Jack stabbing himself (uuuugh) repeatedly and then healing. It’s pretty awful, not gonna lie. Dean busts in, takes the knife, and tells him not to be an idiot. Dean’s horrified and puzzled. Jack wonders what he is and worries that he’ll hurt someone. Dean tells him that Sam thinks Jack can be saved and we address that Jack knows Dean doesn’t believe that. Dean tells him that if he’s right and they have to kill him, Dean will be the one to do it. I get a sense that in Dean’s mind, this is a mercy that would be swift and as painless as possible.

You Don’t Know Jack About Quotes:

You’re on the couch, sport.

God. He’s in here too. Is he famous or something?

Who needs a prophet of God when there’s no God?

Sometimes things hurt so you just man up and deal with it.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

[banalbones]

The Petite Prince: How to Make a Paper Crown

Summary: Roman is a child, Remus loves his baby bro and they go have fun in the Dark Imagination.

Chapter 1 (for some context)

Words: 915

Ships: Familial Creativitwins

Genre: Fluff with a side dose of angst

Warnings: A few swears, falling, tell me if there’s any more!

Taglist: @pricklyfish777 @sunflowerblondeuwu @itriedandimtired @draw-your-perfect-world @cemmy @battlebunnyteardropsinthesun @nonbinary-lizard-2 @fanforeveruniverse

Note: This takes place during chapter 3, when Ro and Re go to the Dark Imagination.

___________________________

“Oh it. Is. On!”

Remus launched a ball of water at the little prince, laughing hysterically.

“Hey!” the smol one shouted, leaning back to try avoid getting wet. Well, wetter.

The trash gremlin cackled.

“Catch me if you can!”

Roman launched himself forward and chased after the now running Remus, his face screwing up in concentration as he summoned a bucket of water.

The Duke laughed loudly before seeing the bucket.

Well shit.

And in a shocking feat of power, the petite prince twisted his hands in a complicated motion, causing the water from the bucket to hurtle forward in a spiralling wave and onto Remus.

And his eyes were glowing?

That… Did his eyes always do that?

Whatever.

“AhHhHhHhHhH! NoOoOoOoOo! NOT CLEANLINESS!” Remus screeched.

“Haha! Yes cle- yes clean-cleanli-li-ness…yes clen-lee-ness!”

The small royal grinned proudly, brandishing a sword made of water. Roman didn’t seem to be aware that he had summoned it.

“Fine! FINE! You win…”

Roman whooped and jumped up and down.

“I win! I win! I nev- I never win!”

What?

Remus raised his brow.

“What about all the dragons big you beat? Doesn’t that count as winning?”

The smol one bounced around happily, the water sword dripping onto his arm.

“I know! But in th- but in things with other sides!”

That’s concerning- did he just wince?

Oh wait! Didn’t he fall down the stairs?

“Hey RoBro, are you okay?”

“No.”

The response was very chipper for the answer he had just given.

“Is anything broken?”

“No.”

“Twisted?”

“I don’t thin’ so.”

“Sore?”

Aha! A hesitation.

“No…”

Remus inwardly grinned at his small victory.

“Don’t lie!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“You so are! Here, I’ll make you a deal. You let me fix the soreness, and we go play in the Imagination!”

The smol one paused, seeming to consider the offer.

“The Dark one, an’ its- an’ it’s a deal!”

He was a little hesitant to agree at first, but anything was better than a pained little prince. Even the ruination of childhood innocence.

“Sure! Now where does it hurt?”

“Here.”

___________________________

Roman huffed as Remus bandaged his ankle.

He knew it was part of the deal, but Big him never liked to seem weak, so neither did he! At least he was going to see the Dark Imagination.

The Dark Imagination!

Roman beamed, trying his best not to bounce around as ReeRee fixed him up. A golden light shone on to the prince’s face.

Where’d the light come from?

Where’d it go?

“All done!”

Roman looked down to see his ankle wrapped up in bright red bandages.

“Le’s go!”

______________________

Remus knew that he had done a sloppy job of bandaging the smol ones ankle, but he was the Duke, being helpful wasn’t exactly his forte.

“You ready, little prince?”

“Yeah!”

“Off we go!”

Remus scooped up the little prince (in his tentacles, of course) and sank down into the Dark Imagination.

“Woah…”

He looked down to see the smol one climbing out of his tentacles and gazing (his eyes were still glowing, should he be concerned?) around the forest in awe. And, to be fair, it was pretty impressive.

The murky green leaves covering the trees swayed in the subtle wind, the whole forest shrouded in darkness, its only light source being its fluorescent plants and lakes. The creatures of the forest hid in the face of Remus, only their hungry eyes following the small princes every move.

Then, Roman laughed.

_________________________

The petite prince pranced around and laughed and laughed and laughed. It was all so amazing!

Roman saw all of the bright, colorful plants and all of the cool, hidden creatures.

He could hear all of it!

The rushing water of some far off rivers.

The rusting of leaves on the trees.

The buzzing of a small animals wings-

Oh look! A thing! A flying thing!

The small royal squealed in joy, running around on as many surfaces as he could, attempting to see some more little things.

Its. So. COOL!

The young monarch was so delighted by everything that he didn’t notice Remus twisting his wrist, making the roots and trees move and grow in unnatural ways to provide a safer passage for the prince. And the growling, it was as though the Duke was asserting dominance.

But of course, Roman didn’t notice any of this.

The two travelled deeper within the forest, with the three (now four) year old attempting, and succeeding, to climb the trees.

“Young knight!” Remus screeched, “I challenge you to a duel!”

Roman gasped, affronted, then grinned.

“I acc-I accept!”

_________________

And so, the two brothers with their small wooden swords battled it out.

“No! You have the high ground!” Remus cried, watching as Roman scrambled up a tree. Again.

“Yah!”

The little prince then yeeted his sword at Remus.

It hit him right in the chest.

It was honestly very impressive, the amount of skill the small royal had, though it was quite annoying for the rat man.

“I win!”

Remus smiled, then let his head drop.

“Yes, yes you did.”

Roman squealed.

“I suppose you must be crowned the winner, then.” Remus said, summoning a small paper crown.

The smol one jumped up on his branch and twirled excitedly, a golden light emanating from… somewhere… making him look like an actual Disney prince.

And then he slipped.

Remus lunged forward, catching the small figure before he could break his other ankle.

“I hereby dub thee Prince Roman ‘Creativity’ Sanders!” the trash man said, gently placing the crown on the giggling sides head.

“Yay! Again!”

And so they battled again, and again, until they got tired and a plan began formulating in Remus’s head. 

Logan and Virgil were coming, might as well make the most of it!

_______________________

Thanks for reading! And for putting up with my terrible uploading schedule!