#i am a multifaceted nerd

[eggbagelz]

My biggest problem is that i wanna be in a band so fucking bad but i am woefully average at playing my guitar and cannot write lyrics or melodies to save my life

[androdetective]

As a poc, I have a complicated relationship to vbros. On one hand, the world is really immersive and the characters can be really great, on the other hand it is a very white show and has a racism problem. Many of the white characters have done racist things when characters have gotten punished or killed for less. There's also barely any side characters of color. And even then, many jokes get made at them regarding their races, because they're not seen as the norm. Also because it's an adult swim show made by white guys.

Off the top of my head, there are 4 side characters of color (Orpheus, Jefferson, Kano, and Dr Z). If we want to be generous, we could include Al. Maybe even Triana with her being biracial, albeit entirely passing as white. Even with those characters, Orpheus became whitewashed over the years.

However, ironically enough, he's the best written character of color. He's a very nice, multifaceted character. He's even become a fan favorite. He's also had no racist comments made towards him in the show. Which was a pleasant surprise. Especially since he lived on the compound with Rusty of all people. As happy as I am with that, it feels off because why did they spare only him but not others? I'm not sure if his race was ever figured out as the writers. It never got brought up, unlike other characters. I won't lie, that gives me a feeling they didn't write him as a brown man in mind. If they did write him with that in mind, he probably would've been written worse. It feels like they could only relate to him and made his character good by thinking he's white like them. Hell, they even projected their weird breakup feelings onto him.

With Jefferson, his character is a mixed bag. He's a cool character and very capable. He's a solid character, all things considered. It's just that he gets racist jokes thrown his way. And just, the show has one black side character, and they can't even act right. Why is racism, the hatred and otherness of one's entire existence, so funny. I noticed that each episode except one that he was in had at least one antiblack joke. That's an insane ratio. The worst joke was in the Halloween episode, where he was at the party. They specifically made his character open the door to a side character, red mantle, doing blackface. It was to make a shitty reference to some niche movie and just oh my god, can you stop being shitty white nerds for a second? People who think shit like this is funny makes me want to project years of racial trauma into their brains so that they could finally Get It. Again, this is the best black character they have, but they to make him go through cheap antiblack jokes.

At least with Kano and Dr Z their skin tones stopped being yellow. The other times we see characters of color are when they're background characters. They're either there to make a scene feel full or they're labor workers. The worst is when they were what I'd describe as background antagonists. One-off antagonists that aren't really villain villains. Moreso regular criminals. These tend to be depicted as black and latino. This was more common in early seasons and stopped happening over time. Which obviously great albeit bare fucking minimum, still doesn't change that it happened.

For a world that critiques the old mentalities from previous generations and even specifically denounces generational toxic masculinity. They don't say shit about the blatant racism of the Johnny Quest times they parody. And the times they try to, it's just showing racism and doing nothing about it. Princess Tinyfeet is the worst example of this. She's a blatant racial stereotype. Who for whatever reason, used to be married to Sgt Hatred, an American soldier. And Sgt Hatred is a whole can of worms.

With Dr Z who was apart of the Quest era, at least they tried to give him a character. The thing I will say is that he's voiced by a white guy (Publick) doing a stereotypical vaguely Eastern Asian accent. Something I wished when watching the show was for Dr Z to mention the old racist era he lived through, and maybe even how the present is still rough. The toxic masculinity of the era got mentioned, so why not that too. It would've been so obvious too.

I won't lie, a part of me is glad they didn't try to handle the racism because it would've been a horrible train wreck. I can get why they didn't delve too into it, they're white after all. I just wish there were more poc in the team and sensitivity writers because they were desperately needed. But for a show that can't even handle white women, I'm not surprised they can't handle people of color. For a show whose best thing they were able to tackle was toxic masculinity, I find it ironic how misogynistic they still were. Like quick, why were the side effects of misogyny that affect you 🫵 handled the best.

The thing is, if they did try to critique the racism, they'd alienate the audience, and it'd also be strangely hypocritical of them. Venture Bros'/Adult Swim's main audience is white cishet men. The ones least affected by bigotry. They're able to laugh at bigoted jokes, and they're the most marketable people. White guys will appeal to other white guys. In the early 2000s, white creators were able to get away with much more. Not because it was alright but because it was easier for them to shut down minorities calling them out. Despite how "normal" it was, that doesn't change how that fed into a very toxic, bigoted culture. Despite today still being hellish for minorities, it was even worse just a couple of years ago.

Venture Bros obviously did not invent racism/bigotry. The show is very much a product of their time and environment. And whenever I think about that, it feels draining. Especially having had to live through the 2000s. The show can be amazing when it wants to be. There's so much potential and a lot of charm and character. I really enjoy it, and that's why I'm so critical of it. Not only because I want it to be better but because I want something better for fans of color. We barely get anything, and the least we should get are characters that look like us and are respected. Just like their white counterparts. It's like, how am I supposed to feel when Sgt Hatred gets redeemed and made a main character before we got a character of color that didn't face racist jokes/got whitewashed. Or even before we got a female character whose existence didn't hinge on their relationship to a man. Obviously, the show doesn't hate people of color. They've tried to better over time, which again great. But it barely felt like they respected poc enough.

With the movie, despite its own problems (not helped by Adult Swim screwing them over), you could tell they were trying. And it was really appreciated. Jefferson had a big spotlight, and there weren't jokes against him. We even got to know a bit more about him. It was genuinely his best. Ignoring Orpheus still looking like he's in a perpetual state of winter, that aspect of the movie was alright.

I'm very glad to see fans who are critical of these aspects. It makes me more happy seeing them vouch for poc. However, there's still a large majority that ignores or even excuses the racism. Unsurprisingly, these tend to be the white dude bro fans. But I've seen even the more liberal fans excuse/ignore stuff. The fanbase is very white, just like a lot of other fanbases. I can get why a supportive white person feels they wouldn't be best to call out the show's shit. I just wish they'd mention it more with a simple "oh there's xyz in this episode and it wasn't alright." Something as simple as that carries a lot of power in very white environments. Also, of course, uplift other fans of color, especially when they talk about or face racism. Things as simple as that make me breathe sighs of relief. It personally encourages me to interact with communities more.

I'm unsure of how to close this off. This feels like a topic you could talk about all day. All I wish is for things to be better, you know? Hopefully this all makes sense. I just wrote shit off the top of my head. I'd love to hear thoughts expanding or adding on to stuff. Really hope this reaches the right people

[deadboydetectives-confessions]

I was going to leave it because it's none of my business what other people headcanon, but it's annoying me now (partly because I, like Edwin, very much prefer reading and using logic rather than sport r physical combat and I am very offended by the implication that that means there's no way I could also be physically fit - I'm not but I could be, regardless of where my interests lie), so I'll just say: there's no canonical reason why Edwin can't have muscles. I think the main reason people assume he doesn't is because he's 'stereotypical nerdy boy', which is a really reductive viewpoint to begin with because Edwin is a complex and multifaceted character whose main selling point is not, as some seem to believe, that he likes books - but even if it was, that doesn't mean he has to be unfit. Books are heavy. If Edwin's anything like me, which I think it is fair to assume since one of the only glimpses we have of his past is him reading to try and ignore everyone, he probably spent much of his life carrying around books.

Plus, people tend to assume that Edwin wasn't very sporty, and no, he probably didn't enjoy it - but that doesn't mean he didn't play them. I doubt he got much of a choice. He probably had to do cross country running at school, plus I would be shocked if he hasn't played cricket and/or rugby there. Maybe he wouldn't have been on the school team, but he'd at least have been taught how. Also, as a school for military children during wartime, I think it entirely reasonable to assume that St Hilarion's had a big focus physical strength and any other skills that might be considered necessary for fighting in a war (based on the standards of warfare pre-WW1, as that marked a massive shift in the style of war for which no one was properly prepared).

This isn't to mention everything he went through trying to escape Hell, since you could argue that all the running and tearing apart of brick walls he did in there wouldn't have impacted his physique since he was already dead.

Obviously it's perfectly fine to headcanon Edwin as not being particularly strong or well-built, you could also justify that idea, that it's not the only option. There are plenty of perfectly legitimate reasons why Edwin might be physically fit. I'm tired of the stereotype that nerds can't have muscles.

.

[alistairian]

The thing about going from predominantly feminine spaces/social circles to masculine ones is how clear it is just how much leeway women will afford men but not the other way around.

Women will bend over backwards trying to understand and defend various men real or fictional, make excuses, headcanons, do research that considers backgrounds and trauma and psychology etc. Consider them as individual people with motives and wants and complex emotions. There are communities of women openly into almost every kind of guy, from big boys to scrawny rat men, jocks and nerds alike, shortkings, awkward shy guys, etc. There are multiple highly successful romance stories about women falling for literal nonhuman guys. Women will put themselves in men's shoes before anyone ever has to ask them to, again both fictional and non fictional. Women will write entire book and film series/franchises starring male protagonists and write them well enough that men don't even notice. Even the most bioessentialist radfem man-critical woman you know is giving men careful consideration. (Just look at the gender ratio in Harry Potter)

I just have not seen this go the other direction. "Women are complex and multifaceted" is not the default or baseline from which men will talk about women. They simplify and reduce until a woman is a 2 dimensional object. They don't consider her history or experiences or personal goals. They do consider her appearence and in which ways that serves them, or which ways it can be improved. I hear men talk about how easy women have it and how girls are mean for no reason and how women's standards are too high and they're delusional for it. How women are lying and making things up on purpose to make men look bad and ruin their careers. If they do want to learn about women it's in the context of sex/dating, and they go straight to other men for this information.

Like this is obviously full of generalizations, but just talking from a casual water-cooler-convos-with-coworkers standpoint women will be frustrated with their boyfriends because they don't listen or help around the house and her focus will be on what she can do to better get her point across and save the relationship, while a man will be frustrated that his wife is nagging him for always being drunk or calling the cops on him cuz he started beating her, calling it a "misunderstanding". <- real life fucking examples told to me by guys I was barely friendly with.

It almost doesn't even matter whether or not there is a significant number of guys who don't follow this thought pattern because I never hear them speak up. Hell, when I speak up I get guys gawking at me like I broke some unspoken rule, or even get frustrated that I'm contradicting them.

It's so disappointing. Like with each passing year I live as a man I am less and less impressed with the men I see around me and their weird ideas of what the women they'll never talk to are really like.

[pikapeppa]

In Becoming Whole, Aloy seemed much more willing to let Kotallo in. Sure, it wasn’t easy for her but she seemed so ready to trust him…

With Drakka though, she just seems so angry and so often shuts down when things get too real.

I can see that both versions of Aloy have the same concerns, insecurities, and trauma… but with Kotallo she seemed to want what she could have with him, and pushed herself to honestly share herself with him, even if it scared her or felt like a betrayal to her divine mission etc.

And with Drakka she just seems so much more tortured and haunted. I know that you fleshed out her reactions/feelings to Drakka a fair bit during his base visit, but it seems at odds with Kotallo’s version of Aloy.

Was there any particularly reason you’ve made Desert Bloom’s Aloy more reserved?

I know you’ve been winging a lot of this but do you have any thoughts on whether it’s a personality thing… a trust thing… anything? 😂

In my mind Drakka is the home she’s always wanted and is desperate to protect it… but I’d much prefer your pov lol

Sorry for the essay! Love your work x

Ah yes, the comparison of Aloy-with-Kotallo vs. Aloy-with-Drakka… This is what I bring on myself when writing two concurrent ships with Aloy (technically three including Avad LOL).

The way I see it, I haven’t made Aloy a different person in Desert Blooms compared to Becoming Whole. She was the same person with the same trauma/concerns/insecurities when she met Kotallo and when she met Drakka. It’s that Kotallo and Drakka are very different people, and the quality+amount of time she spent with each of them was VERY different, so her dynamics with each of them have resulted in relationships that look quite different. 

More below the cut!

One of the things I love so much about Aloy as a protag is that she’s so multifaceted: she can be gentle and empathetic, she can be sassy and lighthearted, and she can be downright rude/sharp (in the best way sometimes, e.g. with Studious Vuadis LMAO), and all of those mannerisms for her are in-character — and this is also reflective of how people are IRL. I know for sure that I act differently with my husband vs. with my closest girlfriends vs. with colleagues at work, but all of the ways I act are still “me”. Similarly, the “me” I was with my high school boyfriend is different from the “me” I am now with my husband. Part of that is time/age/experience, for sure, but it’s also a function of the man I was with/am with — but both versions of me are still “me”. Maybe this sounds stupid and self-explanatory, but we are changed and affected by the people we have relationships with, and this is why Aloy “seems” so different with Kotallo vs. Drakka. 

With Kotallo in Becoming Whole, there are so many reasons that Aloy opened up more quickly. I made a table to make it easier to compare these reasons side-by-side and because I’m a fucking nerd LOL. Please do tap to enlarge if you're so inclined, I'm sorry for the small font -- blame technical issues on my side for this 😂😭💀:

(Note that the above is based on headcanons unless otherwise stated.)

There’s probably more I could add to this table, but I think this is enough for now without me looking like Charlie Day in that meme LOL.

In any case, this reply might come a little late since some of your questions might get addressed in the chapter of Desert Blooms that I just posted 😂 but in any case, I hope this was an interesting response! 

-- love from your friendly neighbourhood Pika! xoxo

[melia-vibes]

Bloodmarked Character Analysis and Opinions: William Sitterson

Spoilers ahead!!

1. William is the most emotionally intellegent person in the entire book. Argue with ya mama

2. William Sitterson is one of the best friends anyone on this planet could ask for (Alice Chen us the other). He is kind, protective, and isn't afraid to be commanding when need be. I loved every moment when he had to slip into a commanding or violent role. It shows that he is a multifaceted person and while he is normally mild tempered, he is that way bc he chooses to be. He is capable of being ruthless and stern but he doesn't want to be.

3. Healer William. William's disposition set him up perfectly to be a healer. In both Legendborn and Bloodmarked, any time something went wrong, his first thought was for anyone and everyone around him. His protective and almost defensive nature is so beautiful to watch and see how it challenges him when he must go against it and go on offense. When he had to help Sel interrogate Kizia we saw the extent of his physical strength but we also saw the extent of his mental strength. He hated doing it but he still crushed Kizia's hand bc he needed to.

4. William is selfless. He does what is required of him regardless of the personal consequences. He hides his pain about Whitty, he allows himself to be held hostage by the Regents, he hurts Kizia, he heals Bree while holding a fucking goruchel, he almost reveals himself bc of a pair of racists, he breaks up with his Bf. William will do anything for his friends bc who is he if he doesn't. When he says, "I am still a healer." He says it to remind himself who he is. He is annoyed when he has to admit that his magic won't help Selwyn. William knows his strengths and plays them well but having to hurt people when he is going to be a doctor and the number 1 rule is "first do no harm"? That is hard and I hope Bree honors her promise to make the Regents pay.

5. I hope he and Lark get to know each other more in Bree's absence

6. He's insanely smart. He nerded over the idea that Bree could be tapping into DNA memory. Also, I love that Deonn chose to allow him to be detailed about what injuries Bree sustained when she was cut open by the demons. I think it was a small tid bit that showed William knows what he's doing and is incredibly talented.

William my beloved. He deserves the world

[miss-midnightt]

1, 2, and 3 for Tseng and Rufus?

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

This, uh, this could take a while. These are both characters I absolutely adore, for several reasons.

First: Character design. I am hugely into character design and all of Rufus' belts and stuff make my brain happy. Also, his color palette is absolutely stunning. It contrasts against the darkness of Midgar, makes him stand out (white is bright; purple is the color of royalty), matches neatly with Darkstar/Dark Nation, and also contrasts him against the black suits that the Turks wear. For Tseng, I love his character design because pretty men with long hair and intense eyes are fun to draw. He also parallels Rufus nicely in terms of looks; both are very neat and put together, but Tseng has dark hair, eyes, and clothes, while Rufus has a more light toned palette).

Second: Their roles in the plot. Both of them have interesting roles in the plot. They are not main antagonists, yet are both very important. I won't elaborate much further because I already have. A lot.

Lastly (though I could go on and on and on): their personalities. These are both incredibly multifaceted characters; they both do bad things, but they don't deny it. They acknowledge it. Tseng knowingly drops the plate. And he certainly feels guilty about it (cutscene with Reno and Rude back at Shinra HQ). Rufus states openly he will control the world with fear. In AC, it is shown that he has changed and has tried to fix the wrongs he created. Additionally, I love characters with a more stern or ambitious disposition; I find them fascinating to analyze. Why are they doing that? What does this mean?

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Rufus: I adored all of his lines in Remake. His VA got them just right, and damn were they JUICY. Another little thing; him sending off Darkstar when her/his health got low. And of course a billion other things (I'm a nerd).

Tseng: His devotion to his colleagues. He may present a stern facade, but he cares. And that, to me, makes him so, so much more human.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

Rufus: I wish we could have seen more of him, learned a bit more of how he was raised as a child. But I suppose that's a gripe about LACK of canon content, lol. Maybe about how he didn't seemingly react too upsetly when he was told that Tseng and Elena, two people he probably trusts/relies on most, were captured and tortured in AC? But it's a pretty flawed film, so...

Tseng: Almost total absence from Advent Children....It's hard to find dislikable canon things from him; I like him too much (and he didn't have a huge amount of screen time compared to other characters)!

[nicula-aa-dark]

Current shower thought brainrot: the Persona 5 cast starring in Ride the Cyclone.

Makoto as Ocean (star student, lack of awareness to her peers crashing down around her via the inciting incident, “keep your head down and things will look up”.)

Ann as Constance (“known” by people without being known at all, a victim of all people in her life seeing her at surface level. “I used to think that life was just a heartbreaker/That just breaks, and it breaks, and it breaks, and it breaks, 'till you can't break no more/'Till you can't take no more”.)

Ryuji as Mischa (misunderstood as the “dumb delinquent” while in reality being quite nuanced and multifaceted. Idk who his Talia would be though… I’m leaning towards Futaba so like, Talia but make it platonic.)

Protag/Joker as Ricky (somebody that nobody got to/could get to know at all until the inciting incident, vastly talented, charismatic, nerd, harem. Level up.)

Yusuke as Noel (probably the most romantic boy in town in the p5 canon, dreamer, artist, poet. Admittedly their personalities don’t match very well but it still makes sense yk?)

For our Jane Doe I am waffling between Haru and Morgana.

-Morgana; works thematically (“Oh, no soul, and no name/And no story, what a shame/Cruel existence was only a sham/Oh, Saint Peter, let me in/You must know where I've been/Won't you tell me at last who I am?”

-Haru; fits the personality, works thematically if you squint (very sweet and very unnerving, “Like John, I'll be eternally/A forgotten name, some lost refrain/Just "Jane"”, “when the lioness has children…”, “do you want to know what really freaks me out?”

Akechi as Karnak (dry humor [so much of it], slave to fate, dies [sorry], “Meet my executioner, ✨️a rat✨️”-it’s so appropriate I’m sorry, “I even suggested they ride the cyclone.”-sae palace parallel moment????)

Art pending. Probably. I am very ill.

[cyanlastride]

i had a lot of fun today! i got to feel badass, i got to chase people, i played as human and zombie and made exactly the right call on when to switch. im finally good at this. it only took me 5 years, but hey, there werent actually that many weeklongs in that time. i think thats reasonable.

i want to keep this vibe. i...

its over now, isnt it.

people are moving on.

what do i do now? oh god, why do the good times keep ending. it takes so much effort to drag myself to a new one.

were you here because of the people, or because of the game? both are accessible to you.

you want to keep the game, you necro this summer's invit. work your way up to necroing the weeklong in the fall, or maybe the winter. you can do it. itll be hard, but you can do it.

you want to keep the people, good news, theyre chronically online nerds just like you. you join their server. you keep in touch. you can keep them. they like you. you just have to reenter the circle of friendship.

i can do both. why am i so hesitant to do either?

what are you scared of?

why dont you play the game?

why dont you want to be a multifaceted human being with several distinct interests and friendgroups? do you want to be flat and simple? that sounds boring!

you can do this. you can keep these people in your life. you can keep this hobby in your life. you have to choose to. it wont happen naturally.

YOU HAVE TO MAKE AN EFFORT. thats your problem, isnt it? god, you are the laziest motherfucker i know. you would rather let something drift away than try to reach for it, because youre scared of pushing it away. because youre scared of drowning. because youre unreliable, because you dont try.

because even though you care so, so much, you cannot bring yourself to do anything about it. because if they dont message you first, they must hate you. because if you message first, youre a creep. because you care more about how youre perceived than getting what you want. because you would rather die with a flourish than live covered in blood. because youre an actor, a liar, a runner, not a fighter.

i beg you. learn to fight. these people you admire? they take initiative. they fuck up. they learn. they do better.

they lead. theyre not perfect, and they do it. they aspire to be better. they have wants, not just needs. they act on those wants.

you can live your life in the background, if you want. youll find success. youll find pain. you can let life carry you. but it will be temporary. all of it will be temporary. the success and the pain.

if you want something to stay, you have to put in the effort to bring it with you. you gotta carry that weight.

please. pick up this rock. i want you to, and right now, you want to too.

you can do it.

you have to choose to do it.

[goblinofthelaboratory]

Greetings and welcome, travellers! Feel free to stay here with me a while if you'd like.

-I am a gargantuan nerd. About nearly every academic subject to exist and still others.

-you may call me anything in good faith, but i am known as Jules

-pronouns (in order of preference): it/its, ve/verr/vyr, xe/xem, ae/aer, they/them

-my gender is multifaceted chaos, it cannot be constrained with labels

-otherworldly and incomprehensible thing

-within the realm of aroacespec

-main interests: linguistics, arthropods, color, light, neurodivergence, fonts, poetry, physics, plants, rocks, folklore

okay im actually getting around to putting my pronoun page

tags i use:

#eternal goblin chatter in my brain my original posts

#for the goblins future reference my saving stuff tag

#hopepunk self explanatory

#remember this for bad mental health days

#reblog bait self explanatory

#horror creepy/gore/thriller stuff

i don't sort neatly, i make no apology for this

sideblogs (mostly dead):

@consistent-scribbles [my shitty attempt at an art blog, highly inconsistent despite the name

@el-bicho-muy-codicioso-conocer [spanish langblr

@another-animists-treasure [faith related stuff

YOU CAN ALWAYS INTERACT WITH ME THAT IS AN OK THING TO DO AT ANY TIME i may not respond quickly but i encourage engagement

please don't tag me in "if this gets x notes" posts, reblog games are welcome difference between reblog bait and reblog games

voidpunk credit, queer moth was made by @chiaralbart

send me doodles

[intern-seraph]

these are a lot since i like the question list from here 😆

3, 13, 35, 39, 56, 64✨✨✨

Get to know your fic writer!

this is a long one so check out the answers beeeelow the cut

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

no outlines we die like men (i have outlines for a fic or two but honestly i just go on vibes); i tend to jump around from scene to scene and go back to write the bits that bridge the gaps+edit for continuity

13. what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

i avoid using epithets as often as possible ("the blonde", "the taller man", etc.). it's a habit that many ppl including myself consider a very telling trait of something being a fic, and sometimes... it can get a little ridiculous. names are easy to use and consistent. if i do use epithets, i try to use only one or MAYBE two and keep them consistent to one character (so, for example, Malleus in the upcoming accidental marriage fic is referred to solely as "the stranger" by the reader until they decide to call him "Hornton"). it helps maintain clarity (and makes the work feel more "polished" imo)

35. What is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain?

you don't have to redeem them for them to be fun and likeable. they don't have to commit atrocities, and if they do commit atrocities... i mean... they're a villain. that's what a bad guy does. bad things. but that doesn't mean they can't also be kind at times. people are multifaceted and i am a villainfucker who wants cuddles god damn it

39. Share a snippet from a WIP

“How about I do stretches? Maybe I’ll even start a prison workout routine!” You roll onto your side and prop your head up with your arm. While you’re grinning, Vanrouge looks like he wants to vomit. “You could even spot me! Wouldn’t that be fun?”

“I think I’d prefer the staring.”

“See, if you keep shooting down my ideas for entertainment, I’ll have nothing left to do except stare at you. Throw me a bone here!”

He rolls his eyes. Jabbing a finger at you through the cell bars, he says, “You’re just trying to torment me now that I’m not allowed to kill you.”

“Yup! Wow, you catch on fast.” You give him your most obnoxious smile. Somehow, Vanrouge manages to look even more pissed off. It’s honestly a little remarkable. “Maybe if I had something else to do, you’d get some peace.”

“Tch.” Vanrouge turns his back to you and goes back to leaning on the bars. “Nice try.”

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

characterization :) i've been told before that i'm good at accurately portraying canon characters. i also pride myself on my grammar and spelling because i'm a fucking nerd <3

64. Something you love to see in smut.

squishy thighs squishy tummy body hair etc on women. gimme stretch marks that're seen as streaks of luminous paint on a beautiful canvas. moments of levity that break the tension or are reflected upon fondly in the afterglow. i like the it

[sanstropfremir]

hi ik this is sorta different from what you usually post about here but im wondering what you think of k/da's 'villain' mv!!

hi!! at first i was like "....wait when did i ever give any indication that i know anything about league....????" but then i remembered that k/da is technically kpop because it has (g)idle members in it and then everything made sense. you're actually very lucky because i literally phoned a friend for help with answering this, since one of my best friends of 15 years is an animator that works in the (semi) big leagues doing mostly 3d animation! i could have probably answered this without him but i wanted an excuse to talk to him (we did literally have a phone call) since i hadn't heard his voice in a while and i really like talking about art with him. we both have slightly differing opinions on the villain mv and on k/da in general, which isn't that surprising if you know us, but i also think it speaks to the success of the ideas behind k/da, i suppose.

first, an intro for anyone who doesn't know what k/da is (because there will definitely be some of you). k/da is a fictitious animated girl group made from four characters from league of legends, that are voiced by two kpop idols (miyeon and soyeon from (g)idle) and two american singers (madison beer and jaira burns). the project was conceived by riot games after having success with a similar project pentakill (basically the same thing but using metal instead of pop/kpop). k/da has handful of songs and three music videos: pop/stars, more, and villain, all of which are completely divorced from any of the lore of the game. honestly you don't even need to know anything about the characters either if you can get past the fact that they yanno, look like video game characters. pop/stars and more are the whole group (there's another champion feature in more) and villain is a concept video/solo song for one member, evelynn.

personally i don't have a lot of opinions on k/da as a whole; i remember when pop/stars dropped and all my friends when bananas (i don't play league and i don't play multiplayer games at all), but i don't really get the appeal of them because i don't think they're doing anything with k/da visually that's intrinsic to being animated (other than the concept itself, but i'm going to come back to this). my friend however, likes the concept a lot and thinks that the animation has more appeal on a broad approach than a traditional kpop mv. i will fault him for this logic because that last girl group he followed was snsd when we were 13, but he does kind of have a point. the animated nature does temper some of the more surrealistic elements of kpop mvs and makes it more 'palatable' to a non-kpop viewing audience, but personally i don't agree with this reasoning and people are just boring. we do both agree that pop/stars is the best of the three mvs, though. it's the most fun and has a few really interesting moments that do utilize the animated medium (mostly akali's parts with the blacklight), and the stylization of the animation itself is fun. more and villain lean more into realism and i don't find that as interesting even if it is more of a technical achievement. the thing about both more and pop/stars though is that despite the concept needing to be animated (because the characters aren't real), a lot of the shots and content within the frame is pretty similar to shots you would see in real life kpop mvs. there is absolutely an extra heightened nature to it because of the medium but honestly? they could be doing a lot crazier shit instead of trying to emulate something that already exists with some extra flair.

i like villain i think the most conceptually because it does make a fuller use of the medium (regardless of the fact that it's not a lot of actual animation and is mostly just really really good texture sims. this is a pendantic point that my friend decided he had to correct me on). a good chunk of the shots hinge on the fact that it is animated, and this kind of atmospheric mv is less common for kpop; they pointedly don't show evelynn's full face at all, which they can do because she has a very recognizable and totally designed silhouette, which is something that you can't achieve in quite the same way with an actual human being. villain's ability to capture the mood of the song is successful because of its lack of emphasis on the main character; something that i find kpop mvs sometimes struggle more with because of the industry emphasis on face (and subsequently the fact that a lot of idols can't act). riot does also get it mostly right with giants, which is from another fictional champion group, which is mostly 2d animated.

[tendercrispstan]

Viktor and Confidence

I’ve been thinking about the fandom clash over portrayals of Viktor and whether he has self-hatred or confidence etc. And there have been good points made by various people, but none of the posts I’ve seen have really rung 100 percent true to me.

So here’s my take:  Viktor is confident. AND Viktor has anxieties and feelings of inadequacy. They can coexist!

Being self-assured in some areas of your life doesn’t preclude being insecure in others. From what we see in canon, Viktor is quite confident in his intellect, his moral convictions, and his willpower. We also see that he is confident in certain kinds of social situations -- one on one, with other nerds; weaseling out of trouble; in front of a small group when he has a clear plan of what to say. 

But we also see in canon he is deeply uncomfortable with the idea of going up in front of “all of them” (i.e. the public of Piltover) and presenting his research unexpectedly. Now there’s a lot of wiggle room in there to interpret it various ways -- is he afraid of public speaking? is it the fact that he was expecting Jayce to do it solo and didn’t prepare anything? is he self-conscious about his class background? self-conscious about the way Piltovian society perceives his disability?

We also see a lot of evidence that Viktor craves social interaction and affection (see: literally everything about his facial expressions and body language in his scenes as a child or any time Jayce touches him) but for large portions of his life his desire to socialize was, at best, ignored. He was a loner, and all evidence suggests that was not by choice. That can have an impact later in life! It can absolutely warp your perception of whether other people want to be around you, and your perception of your own desirability (whether as a potential friend or in a romantic/sexual way). Even if you later have people who do tell you you’re wanted and loved, even if you know on a logical level that people like you or that you’re considered attractive, the scars of being a “loner” involuntarily don’t just go away.

Even in the sphere of knowledge and achievement (an area Viktor is seemingly very confident about) -- there’s a difference between believing in yourself and/or liking yourself & others believing in you and/or liking you. It is possible for the latter to hurt no matter how strong the former is!!! Viktor is a smart cookie and he knows it. It still might bother him that other people don’t know it, or don’t value it! 

Lastly -- a highly intelligent, capable person can know they are highly intelligent and capable AND still feel like they’re not Good Enough. What happens is the goal posts move. Because you know you’re smart and capable, you hold yourself to a higher standard. X Y Z behavior might be good enough for other people, but you “can do better.” You grow up hearing about all your “potential” and it ends up being a rainbow’s end that you can never reach, never seem to get any closer to. 

All of which is to say, don’t make Viktor insecure by default just because he’s disabled. That’s one-dimensional. That’s reducing him to one characteristic. That’s a stereotype. But it’s ok to explore Viktor as someone who isn’t 100 percent suave and confident all the time — just make sure it’s part of him being a multifaceted person, motivated by something more complex and specific to Viktor, and not just falling back on reductive disability tropes.

(for the record, I am a neurodivergent and -- more recently -- chronically ill person, and there have been periods of my life where one or both of those issues were severe enough that they were disabling. as in I took time off for disability. I don’t necessarily use the ‘disabled person’ or ‘person with a disability’ labels because there’s a lot of baggage there around society’s very narrow definitions of what a “disability” is and feeling the need to prove you’re disabled “enough”, and I don’t have the energy to navigate that, but I do consider myself a part of the broader disability and chronic illness community. I do not say that to claim that I somehow speak for everybody with a disability or chronic illness -- just to say that I have some first-hand experience of abled BS and I’m not talking out of my ass here.)

[positivitycombopack]

Introduction Post!

Hello! We’re the Circular System, but we like to go by Combo Pack. We’re a system of 15 parts who wanted to spread some positivity in the DID/OSDD community!

This page is for CDD systems (diagnosed or otherwise) to interact, have fun, and generally enjoy existing. There is no reason why complex dissociative disorders should be a completely negative aspect of anyone’s life. They’re multifaceted, intense trauma disorders and should be recognized as such. However, perhaps especially because of those things, we all need a break from the drama and trials, especially in the CDD community as of late.

This blog is that place! See more about who we are, what we hope for, and other relevant information about the blog under the Read More!

What do we plan to post: Memes, Shout Outs, Questions of the Day, and all around things we enjoy. We’ll do our best to keep up with it!

What we will not post: No drama, no syscourse, no hate. This is supposed to be a place of positivity. We’re not going to discuss our views here.

Who we are: All parts participate in this blog when they are out, and we sometimes sign off. We don't feel like sharing much information about us, but here's a list of some sign offs in order of how often that part typically fronts:

Armageddon Comes While I'm Sleeping

Diamonds Are A Boy's Best Friend

Kitty Caught The Rabbit

Vessel On A Calming Sea

I Think The World Is So Wonderful

Keeping Up With Nerd Shit

Lilac Bound Hauntings

Pop Pop Bubblegum Bop

Shadows In The Petunia Garden

Butterfly Kisses And Sunbeam Dreams

Beauty and Poison Go Hand In Hand

This Is Your Captain Speaking

Ruby Red, Sterling Blue

UwU The Cutest [REDACTED] School-Girl

Adoration For The Modest

And here's a current collage of all of us together, because we love seeing us all in one spot.

Why are we doing this?: The community needs more positivity!

Who can interact?: This is a CDD safe space. I prefer if Endogenics and other Non-Traumagenic systems do not derail posts with non-trauma based commentary. Thank you for helping keep this place safe for discussions of those with a severe childhood trauma disorder!

Note: I am okay with Singlets and Questioning Systems being here. This is a place to learn more and relax away from the drama of the community. There is no shame in being who you are. I also recognize that I cannot stop people from interacting, and I do not police that sort of thing, beyond blocking those from this blog that reblog posts with unrelated or fakeclaiming content.

[pyroclastic727]

And here I thought “pyro” just had to do with arson but still very neat

I actually picked it because I was a bit of a geology nerd back then. Tried names like Feldspar (people kept asking me what it meant and I didn't have time to go into an in-depth explanation of the most common stone in the earth's continental crust--oh btw basalt is the common one in oceanic crust), Pyrite (fool's gold tho, and I am not a fool), Lignite (it's just soft coal and anthracite is stronger).

I settled on pyroclastic because it's the volcanic flow thing. Has the cool "pyro" bit but also the "clastic," which is the disorganized rock that comes together into a sedimentary hodgepodge. Very multifaceted--like me!

It's also very versatile for nicknames. You get things like Cinnaroll my beloved's "pyro classy," and the insult "pyro ass stick." It's a word that sticks in your head.

[sleepy82louih]

https://sleepy82louih.tumblr.com/post/683525068512460800/why-our-idiot-son-fractured-his-elbow-an-mbti

Hi! Omg I can’t believe my little shit post inspired you to write this brilliance! Your breakdown matches Louis so perfectly. I can talk all day abt astrology and human design and gene keys, but only know the very basics of mbti and now I want to learn more haha. I am so fascinated now by how it can explain like one’s thought processes and approach to things. And I loved nodding along connecting all the traits to their astro equivalents ofc. Anyway my dms are always open to talk personality systems nerd stuff lmao. 🤍

Hiya! Your post was great, actually! It matches with Louis (he's SUCH a Capricorn) so well! I remember that, two years ago, I dug up their charts (H and L) and decided that I wanted to see if they fit (since Capricorn and Aquarius can have bits of friction – I would know, I'm an Aquarius lol) and, to absolutely no one's surprise, their moon signs compliment each other so well, it's a little mad. Like, they fit like yin and yang it's INSANE. (Leo and Libra moon) So I am pretty interested in astrology myself!

MBTI is such a nice way to explain why people act they way they do, based on how they think inwardly and how they gather info from the outer world, and how the two communicate. I LOVED writing about Louis because he is fascinating and very multifaceted. I'd do one for Harry, but I'm waiting for a nice opportunity (and I also hadn't decided what type he is, he is so chaotic you can't pin him down lmao)

Anywho, I'm so glad you liked my post! I'll make sure to come talk to you about all nerdy things! Ask any questions, I'll try my best to answer!