#i am a multifaceted nerd

[eggbagelz]

My biggest problem is that i wanna be in a band so fucking bad but i am woefully average at playing my guitar and cannot write lyrics or melodies to save my life

[deadboydetectives-confessions]

I was going to leave it because it's none of my business what other people headcanon, but it's annoying me now (partly because I, like Edwin, very much prefer reading and using logic rather than sport r physical combat and I am very offended by the implication that that means there's no way I could also be physically fit - I'm not but I could be, regardless of where my interests lie), so I'll just say: there's no canonical reason why Edwin can't have muscles. I think the main reason people assume he doesn't is because he's 'stereotypical nerdy boy', which is a really reductive viewpoint to begin with because Edwin is a complex and multifaceted character whose main selling point is not, as some seem to believe, that he likes books - but even if it was, that doesn't mean he has to be unfit. Books are heavy. If Edwin's anything like me, which I think it is fair to assume since one of the only glimpses we have of his past is him reading to try and ignore everyone, he probably spent much of his life carrying around books.

Plus, people tend to assume that Edwin wasn't very sporty, and no, he probably didn't enjoy it - but that doesn't mean he didn't play them. I doubt he got much of a choice. He probably had to do cross country running at school, plus I would be shocked if he hasn't played cricket and/or rugby there. Maybe he wouldn't have been on the school team, but he'd at least have been taught how. Also, as a school for military children during wartime, I think it entirely reasonable to assume that St Hilarion's had a big focus physical strength and any other skills that might be considered necessary for fighting in a war (based on the standards of warfare pre-WW1, as that marked a massive shift in the style of war for which no one was properly prepared).

This isn't to mention everything he went through trying to escape Hell, since you could argue that all the running and tearing apart of brick walls he did in there wouldn't have impacted his physique since he was already dead.

Obviously it's perfectly fine to headcanon Edwin as not being particularly strong or well-built, you could also justify that idea, that it's not the only option. There are plenty of perfectly legitimate reasons why Edwin might be physically fit. I'm tired of the stereotype that nerds can't have muscles.

.

[goblinofthelaboratory]

fine, I'll introduce myself

Greetings, and welcome to my...collection. Call it weird, call it creepy, I call it home. Basic rundown, here we go:

-I am a gargantuan nerd. About nearly every academic subject to exist and still others.

-you may call me anything in good faith, but i am known as Jules

-pronouns (in order of preference): it/its, ve/verr/vyr, xe/xem, ae/aer, they/them

-my gender is multifaceted chaos, it cannot be constrained with labels

-otherworldly and incomprehensible thing

-within the realm of aroacespec

-main interests: linguistics, arthropods, folklore, research, color, light, neurodivergence, fonts, poetry, physics, plants, rocks

okay im actually getting around to putting my pronoun page

tags i use:

#eternal goblin chatter in my brain my original posts

#for the goblins future reference my saving stuff tag

#hopepunk self explanatory

#remember this for bad mental health days

#reblog bait block tag

#horror creepy/gore/thriller stuff

i don't sort neatly, i make no apology for this

sideblogs:

@consistent-scribbles [my shitty attempt at an art blog mostly dead rn

@el-bicho-muy-codicioso-conocer [spanish langblr, mostly piecemealed out of the dictionary

@another-animists-treasure [pagan blog for saving witchy/animism stuff of the religious persuasion

YOU CAN ALWAYS INTERACT WITH ME THAT IS AN OK THING TO DO AT ANY TIME i may not respond quickly but i encourage engagement

please don't tag me in "if this gets x notes" posts, reblog games are welcome difference between reblog bait and reblog games

no dni because they usually don't work and i can block whoever i don't want to be around

voidpunk credit, queer moth was made by @chiaralbart

send me doodles

[pikapeppa]

In Becoming Whole, Aloy seemed much more willing to let Kotallo in. Sure, it wasn’t easy for her but she seemed so ready to trust him…

With Drakka though, she just seems so angry and so often shuts down when things get too real.

I can see that both versions of Aloy have the same concerns, insecurities, and trauma… but with Kotallo she seemed to want what she could have with him, and pushed herself to honestly share herself with him, even if it scared her or felt like a betrayal to her divine mission etc.

And with Drakka she just seems so much more tortured and haunted. I know that you fleshed out her reactions/feelings to Drakka a fair bit during his base visit, but it seems at odds with Kotallo’s version of Aloy.

Was there any particularly reason you’ve made Desert Bloom’s Aloy more reserved?

I know you’ve been winging a lot of this but do you have any thoughts on whether it’s a personality thing… a trust thing… anything? 😂

In my mind Drakka is the home she’s always wanted and is desperate to protect it… but I’d much prefer your pov lol

Sorry for the essay! Love your work x

Ah yes, the comparison of Aloy-with-Kotallo vs. Aloy-with-Drakka… This is what I bring on myself when writing two concurrent ships with Aloy (technically three including Avad LOL).

The way I see it, I haven’t made Aloy a different person in Desert Blooms compared to Becoming Whole. She was the same person with the same trauma/concerns/insecurities when she met Kotallo and when she met Drakka. It’s that Kotallo and Drakka are very different people, and the quality+amount of time she spent with each of them was VERY different, so her dynamics with each of them have resulted in relationships that look quite different. 

More below the cut!

One of the things I love so much about Aloy as a protag is that she’s so multifaceted: she can be gentle and empathetic, she can be sassy and lighthearted, and she can be downright rude/sharp (in the best way sometimes, e.g. with Studious Vuadis LMAO), and all of those mannerisms for her are in-character — and this is also reflective of how people are IRL. I know for sure that I act differently with my husband vs. with my closest girlfriends vs. with colleagues at work, but all of the ways I act are still “me”. Similarly, the “me” I was with my high school boyfriend is different from the “me” I am now with my husband. Part of that is time/age/experience, for sure, but it’s also a function of the man I was with/am with — but both versions of me are still “me”. Maybe this sounds stupid and self-explanatory, but we are changed and affected by the people we have relationships with, and this is why Aloy “seems” so different with Kotallo vs. Drakka. 

With Kotallo in Becoming Whole, there are so many reasons that Aloy opened up more quickly. I made a table to make it easier to compare these reasons side-by-side and because I’m a fucking nerd LOL. Please do tap to enlarge if you're so inclined, I'm sorry for the small font -- blame technical issues on my side for this 😂😭💀:

(Note that the above is based on headcanons unless otherwise stated.)

There’s probably more I could add to this table, but I think this is enough for now without me looking like Charlie Day in that meme LOL.

In any case, this reply might come a little late since some of your questions might get addressed in the chapter of Desert Blooms that I just posted 😂 but in any case, I hope this was an interesting response! 

-- love from your friendly neighbourhood Pika! xoxo

[melia-vibes]

Bloodmarked Character Analysis and Opinions: William Sitterson

Spoilers ahead!!

1. William is the most emotionally intellegent person in the entire book. Argue with ya mama

2. William Sitterson is one of the best friends anyone on this planet could ask for (Alice Chen us the other). He is kind, protective, and isn't afraid to be commanding when need be. I loved every moment when he had to slip into a commanding or violent role. It shows that he is a multifaceted person and while he is normally mild tempered, he is that way bc he chooses to be. He is capable of being ruthless and stern but he doesn't want to be.

3. Healer William. William's disposition set him up perfectly to be a healer. In both Legendborn and Bloodmarked, any time something went wrong, his first thought was for anyone and everyone around him. His protective and almost defensive nature is so beautiful to watch and see how it challenges him when he must go against it and go on offense. When he had to help Sel interrogate Kizia we saw the extent of his physical strength but we also saw the extent of his mental strength. He hated doing it but he still crushed Kizia's hand bc he needed to.

4. William is selfless. He does what is required of him regardless of the personal consequences. He hides his pain about Whitty, he allows himself to be held hostage by the Regents, he hurts Kizia, he heals Bree while holding a fucking goruchel, he almost reveals himself bc of a pair of racists, he breaks up with his Bf. William will do anything for his friends bc who is he if he doesn't. When he says, "I am still a healer." He says it to remind himself who he is. He is annoyed when he has to admit that his magic won't help Selwyn. William knows his strengths and plays them well but having to hurt people when he is going to be a doctor and the number 1 rule is "first do no harm"? That is hard and I hope Bree honors her promise to make the Regents pay.

5. I hope he and Lark get to know each other more in Bree's absence

6. He's insanely smart. He nerded over the idea that Bree could be tapping into DNA memory. Also, I love that Deonn chose to allow him to be detailed about what injuries Bree sustained when she was cut open by the demons. I think it was a small tid bit that showed William knows what he's doing and is incredibly talented.

William my beloved. He deserves the world

[miss-midnightt]

1, 2, and 3 for Tseng and Rufus?

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

This, uh, this could take a while. These are both characters I absolutely adore, for several reasons.

First: Character design. I am hugely into character design and all of Rufus' belts and stuff make my brain happy. Also, his color palette is absolutely stunning. It contrasts against the darkness of Midgar, makes him stand out (white is bright; purple is the color of royalty), matches neatly with Darkstar/Dark Nation, and also contrasts him against the black suits that the Turks wear. For Tseng, I love his character design because pretty men with long hair and intense eyes are fun to draw. He also parallels Rufus nicely in terms of looks; both are very neat and put together, but Tseng has dark hair, eyes, and clothes, while Rufus has a more light toned palette).

Second: Their roles in the plot. Both of them have interesting roles in the plot. They are not main antagonists, yet are both very important. I won't elaborate much further because I already have. A lot.

Lastly (though I could go on and on and on): their personalities. These are both incredibly multifaceted characters; they both do bad things, but they don't deny it. They acknowledge it. Tseng knowingly drops the plate. And he certainly feels guilty about it (cutscene with Reno and Rude back at Shinra HQ). Rufus states openly he will control the world with fear. In AC, it is shown that he has changed and has tried to fix the wrongs he created. Additionally, I love characters with a more stern or ambitious disposition; I find them fascinating to analyze. Why are they doing that? What does this mean?

2. Favorite canon thing about this character?

Rufus: I adored all of his lines in Remake. His VA got them just right, and damn were they JUICY. Another little thing; him sending off Darkstar when her/his health got low. And of course a billion other things (I'm a nerd).

Tseng: His devotion to his colleagues. He may present a stern facade, but he cares. And that, to me, makes him so, so much more human.

3. Least favorite canon thing about this character?

Rufus: I wish we could have seen more of him, learned a bit more of how he was raised as a child. But I suppose that's a gripe about LACK of canon content, lol. Maybe about how he didn't seemingly react too upsetly when he was told that Tseng and Elena, two people he probably trusts/relies on most, were captured and tortured in AC? But it's a pretty flawed film, so...

Tseng: Almost total absence from Advent Children....It's hard to find dislikable canon things from him; I like him too much (and he didn't have a huge amount of screen time compared to other characters)!

[nicula-aa-dark]

Current shower thought brainrot: the Persona 5 cast starring in Ride the Cyclone.

Makoto as Ocean (star student, lack of awareness to her peers crashing down around her via the inciting incident, “keep your head down and things will look up”.)

Ann as Constance (“known” by people without being known at all, a victim of all people in her life seeing her at surface level. “I used to think that life was just a heartbreaker/That just breaks, and it breaks, and it breaks, and it breaks, 'till you can't break no more/'Till you can't take no more”.)

Ryuji as Mischa (misunderstood as the “dumb delinquent” while in reality being quite nuanced and multifaceted. Idk who his Talia would be though… I’m leaning towards Futaba so like, Talia but make it platonic.)

Protag/Joker as Ricky (somebody that nobody got to/could get to know at all until the inciting incident, vastly talented, charismatic, nerd, harem. Level up.)

Yusuke as Noel (probably the most romantic boy in town in the p5 canon, dreamer, artist, poet. Admittedly their personalities don’t match very well but it still makes sense yk?)

For our Jane Doe I am waffling between Haru and Morgana.

-Morgana; works thematically (“Oh, no soul, and no name/And no story, what a shame/Cruel existence was only a sham/Oh, Saint Peter, let me in/You must know where I've been/Won't you tell me at last who I am?”

-Haru; fits the personality, works thematically if you squint (very sweet and very unnerving, “Like John, I'll be eternally/A forgotten name, some lost refrain/Just "Jane"”, “when the lioness has children…”, “do you want to know what really freaks me out?”

Akechi as Karnak (dry humor [so much of it], slave to fate, dies [sorry], “Meet my executioner, ✨️a rat✨️”-it’s so appropriate I’m sorry, “I even suggested they ride the cyclone.”-sae palace parallel moment????)

Art pending. Probably. I am very ill.

[cyanlastride]

i had a lot of fun today! i got to feel badass, i got to chase people, i played as human and zombie and made exactly the right call on when to switch. im finally good at this. it only took me 5 years, but hey, there werent actually that many weeklongs in that time. i think thats reasonable.

i want to keep this vibe. i...

its over now, isnt it.

people are moving on.

what do i do now? oh god, why do the good times keep ending. it takes so much effort to drag myself to a new one.

were you here because of the people, or because of the game? both are accessible to you.

you want to keep the game, you necro this summer's invit. work your way up to necroing the weeklong in the fall, or maybe the winter. you can do it. itll be hard, but you can do it.

you want to keep the people, good news, theyre chronically online nerds just like you. you join their server. you keep in touch. you can keep them. they like you. you just have to reenter the circle of friendship.

i can do both. why am i so hesitant to do either?

what are you scared of?

why dont you play the game?

why dont you want to be a multifaceted human being with several distinct interests and friendgroups? do you want to be flat and simple? that sounds boring!

you can do this. you can keep these people in your life. you can keep this hobby in your life. you have to choose to. it wont happen naturally.

YOU HAVE TO MAKE AN EFFORT. thats your problem, isnt it? god, you are the laziest motherfucker i know. you would rather let something drift away than try to reach for it, because youre scared of pushing it away. because youre scared of drowning. because youre unreliable, because you dont try.

because even though you care so, so much, you cannot bring yourself to do anything about it. because if they dont message you first, they must hate you. because if you message first, youre a creep. because you care more about how youre perceived than getting what you want. because you would rather die with a flourish than live covered in blood. because youre an actor, a liar, a runner, not a fighter.

i beg you. learn to fight. these people you admire? they take initiative. they fuck up. they learn. they do better.

they lead. theyre not perfect, and they do it. they aspire to be better. they have wants, not just needs. they act on those wants.

you can live your life in the background, if you want. youll find success. youll find pain. you can let life carry you. but it will be temporary. all of it will be temporary. the success and the pain.

if you want something to stay, you have to put in the effort to bring it with you. you gotta carry that weight.

please. pick up this rock. i want you to, and right now, you want to too.

you can do it.

you have to choose to do it.

[intern-seraph]

these are a lot since i like the question list from here 😆

3, 13, 35, 39, 56, 64✨✨✨

Get to know your fic writer!

this is a long one so check out the answers beeeelow the cut

3. Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic

no outlines we die like men (i have outlines for a fic or two but honestly i just go on vibes); i tend to jump around from scene to scene and go back to write the bits that bridge the gaps+edit for continuity

13. what’s a common writing tip that you almost always follow?

i avoid using epithets as often as possible ("the blonde", "the taller man", etc.). it's a habit that many ppl including myself consider a very telling trait of something being a fic, and sometimes... it can get a little ridiculous. names are easy to use and consistent. if i do use epithets, i try to use only one or MAYBE two and keep them consistent to one character (so, for example, Malleus in the upcoming accidental marriage fic is referred to solely as "the stranger" by the reader until they decide to call him "Hornton"). it helps maintain clarity (and makes the work feel more "polished" imo)

35. What is one essential thing to remember when writing a villain?

you don't have to redeem them for them to be fun and likeable. they don't have to commit atrocities, and if they do commit atrocities... i mean... they're a villain. that's what a bad guy does. bad things. but that doesn't mean they can't also be kind at times. people are multifaceted and i am a villainfucker who wants cuddles god damn it

39. Share a snippet from a WIP

“How about I do stretches? Maybe I’ll even start a prison workout routine!” You roll onto your side and prop your head up with your arm. While you’re grinning, Vanrouge looks like he wants to vomit. “You could even spot me! Wouldn’t that be fun?”

“I think I’d prefer the staring.”

“See, if you keep shooting down my ideas for entertainment, I’ll have nothing left to do except stare at you. Throw me a bone here!”

He rolls his eyes. Jabbing a finger at you through the cell bars, he says, “You’re just trying to torment me now that I’m not allowed to kill you.”

“Yup! Wow, you catch on fast.” You give him your most obnoxious smile. Somehow, Vanrouge manages to look even more pissed off. It’s honestly a little remarkable. “Maybe if I had something else to do, you’d get some peace.”

“Tch.” Vanrouge turns his back to you and goes back to leaning on the bars. “Nice try.”

56. What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

characterization :) i've been told before that i'm good at accurately portraying canon characters. i also pride myself on my grammar and spelling because i'm a fucking nerd <3

64. Something you love to see in smut.

squishy thighs squishy tummy body hair etc on women. gimme stretch marks that're seen as streaks of luminous paint on a beautiful canvas. moments of levity that break the tension or are reflected upon fondly in the afterglow. i like the it

[sanstropfremir]

hi ik this is sorta different from what you usually post about here but im wondering what you think of k/da's 'villain' mv!!

hi!! at first i was like "....wait when did i ever give any indication that i know anything about league....????" but then i remembered that k/da is technically kpop because it has (g)idle members in it and then everything made sense. you're actually very lucky because i literally phoned a friend for help with answering this, since one of my best friends of 15 years is an animator that works in the (semi) big leagues doing mostly 3d animation! i could have probably answered this without him but i wanted an excuse to talk to him (we did literally have a phone call) since i hadn't heard his voice in a while and i really like talking about art with him. we both have slightly differing opinions on the villain mv and on k/da in general, which isn't that surprising if you know us, but i also think it speaks to the success of the ideas behind k/da, i suppose.

first, an intro for anyone who doesn't know what k/da is (because there will definitely be some of you). k/da is a fictitious animated girl group made from four characters from league of legends, that are voiced by two kpop idols (miyeon and soyeon from (g)idle) and two american singers (madison beer and jaira burns). the project was conceived by riot games after having success with a similar project pentakill (basically the same thing but using metal instead of pop/kpop). k/da has handful of songs and three music videos: pop/stars, more, and villain, all of which are completely divorced from any of the lore of the game. honestly you don't even need to know anything about the characters either if you can get past the fact that they yanno, look like video game characters. pop/stars and more are the whole group (there's another champion feature in more) and villain is a concept video/solo song for one member, evelynn.

personally i don't have a lot of opinions on k/da as a whole; i remember when pop/stars dropped and all my friends when bananas (i don't play league and i don't play multiplayer games at all), but i don't really get the appeal of them because i don't think they're doing anything with k/da visually that's intrinsic to being animated (other than the concept itself, but i'm going to come back to this). my friend however, likes the concept a lot and thinks that the animation has more appeal on a broad approach than a traditional kpop mv. i will fault him for this logic because that last girl group he followed was snsd when we were 13, but he does kind of have a point. the animated nature does temper some of the more surrealistic elements of kpop mvs and makes it more 'palatable' to a non-kpop viewing audience, but personally i don't agree with this reasoning and people are just boring. we do both agree that pop/stars is the best of the three mvs, though. it's the most fun and has a few really interesting moments that do utilize the animated medium (mostly akali's parts with the blacklight), and the stylization of the animation itself is fun. more and villain lean more into realism and i don't find that as interesting even if it is more of a technical achievement. the thing about both more and pop/stars though is that despite the concept needing to be animated (because the characters aren't real), a lot of the shots and content within the frame is pretty similar to shots you would see in real life kpop mvs. there is absolutely an extra heightened nature to it because of the medium but honestly? they could be doing a lot crazier shit instead of trying to emulate something that already exists with some extra flair.

i like villain i think the most conceptually because it does make a fuller use of the medium (regardless of the fact that it's not a lot of actual animation and is mostly just really really good texture sims. this is a pendantic point that my friend decided he had to correct me on). a good chunk of the shots hinge on the fact that it is animated, and this kind of atmospheric mv is less common for kpop; they pointedly don't show evelynn's full face at all, which they can do because she has a very recognizable and totally designed silhouette, which is something that you can't achieve in quite the same way with an actual human being. villain's ability to capture the mood of the song is successful because of its lack of emphasis on the main character; something that i find kpop mvs sometimes struggle more with because of the industry emphasis on face (and subsequently the fact that a lot of idols can't act). riot does also get it mostly right with giants, which is from another fictional champion group, which is mostly 2d animated.

[tendercrispstan]

Viktor and Confidence

I’ve been thinking about the fandom clash over portrayals of Viktor and whether he has self-hatred or confidence etc. And there have been good points made by various people, but none of the posts I’ve seen have really rung 100 percent true to me.

So here’s my take:  Viktor is confident. AND Viktor has anxieties and feelings of inadequacy. They can coexist!

Being self-assured in some areas of your life doesn’t preclude being insecure in others. From what we see in canon, Viktor is quite confident in his intellect, his moral convictions, and his willpower. We also see that he is confident in certain kinds of social situations -- one on one, with other nerds; weaseling out of trouble; in front of a small group when he has a clear plan of what to say. 

But we also see in canon he is deeply uncomfortable with the idea of going up in front of “all of them” (i.e. the public of Piltover) and presenting his research unexpectedly. Now there’s a lot of wiggle room in there to interpret it various ways -- is he afraid of public speaking? is it the fact that he was expecting Jayce to do it solo and didn’t prepare anything? is he self-conscious about his class background? self-conscious about the way Piltovian society perceives his disability?

We also see a lot of evidence that Viktor craves social interaction and affection (see: literally everything about his facial expressions and body language in his scenes as a child or any time Jayce touches him) but for large portions of his life his desire to socialize was, at best, ignored. He was a loner, and all evidence suggests that was not by choice. That can have an impact later in life! It can absolutely warp your perception of whether other people want to be around you, and your perception of your own desirability (whether as a potential friend or in a romantic/sexual way). Even if you later have people who do tell you you’re wanted and loved, even if you know on a logical level that people like you or that you’re considered attractive, the scars of being a “loner” involuntarily don’t just go away.

Even in the sphere of knowledge and achievement (an area Viktor is seemingly very confident about) -- there’s a difference between believing in yourself and/or liking yourself & others believing in you and/or liking you. It is possible for the latter to hurt no matter how strong the former is!!! Viktor is a smart cookie and he knows it. It still might bother him that other people don’t know it, or don’t value it! 

Lastly -- a highly intelligent, capable person can know they are highly intelligent and capable AND still feel like they’re not Good Enough. What happens is the goal posts move. Because you know you’re smart and capable, you hold yourself to a higher standard. X Y Z behavior might be good enough for other people, but you “can do better.” You grow up hearing about all your “potential” and it ends up being a rainbow’s end that you can never reach, never seem to get any closer to. 

All of which is to say, don’t make Viktor insecure by default just because he’s disabled. That’s one-dimensional. That’s reducing him to one characteristic. That’s a stereotype. But it’s ok to explore Viktor as someone who isn’t 100 percent suave and confident all the time — just make sure it’s part of him being a multifaceted person, motivated by something more complex and specific to Viktor, and not just falling back on reductive disability tropes.

(for the record, I am a neurodivergent and -- more recently -- chronically ill person, and there have been periods of my life where one or both of those issues were severe enough that they were disabling. as in I took time off for disability. I don’t necessarily use the ‘disabled person’ or ‘person with a disability’ labels because there’s a lot of baggage there around society’s very narrow definitions of what a “disability” is and feeling the need to prove you’re disabled “enough”, and I don’t have the energy to navigate that, but I do consider myself a part of the broader disability and chronic illness community. I do not say that to claim that I somehow speak for everybody with a disability or chronic illness -- just to say that I have some first-hand experience of abled BS and I’m not talking out of my ass here.)

[positivitycombopack]

Introduction Post!

Hello! We’re the Circular System, but we like to go by Combo Pack. We’re a system of 15 parts who wanted to spread some positivity in the DID/OSDD community!

This page is for CDD systems (diagnosed or otherwise) to interact, have fun, and generally enjoy existing. There is no reason why complex dissociative disorders should be a completely negative aspect of anyone’s life. They’re multifaceted, intense trauma disorders and should be recognized as such. However, perhaps especially because of those things, we all need a break from the drama and trials, especially in the CDD community as of late.

This blog is that place! See more about who we are, what we hope for, and other relevant information about the blog under the Read More!

What do we plan to post: Memes, Shout Outs, Questions of the Day, and all around things we enjoy. We’ll do our best to keep up with it!

What we will not post: No drama, no syscourse, no hate. This is supposed to be a place of positivity. We’re not going to discuss our views here.

Who we are: All parts participate in this blog when they are out, and we sometimes sign off. We don't feel like sharing much information about us, but here's a list of some sign offs in order of how often that part typically fronts:

Armageddon Comes While I'm Sleeping

Diamonds Are A Boy's Best Friend

Kitty Caught The Rabbit

Vessel On A Calming Sea

I Think The World Is So Wonderful

Keeping Up With Nerd Shit

Lilac Bound Hauntings

Pop Pop Bubblegum Bop

Shadows In The Petunia Garden

Butterfly Kisses And Sunbeam Dreams

Beauty and Poison Go Hand In Hand

This Is Your Captain Speaking

Ruby Red, Sterling Blue

UwU The Cutest [REDACTED] School-Girl

Adoration For The Modest

And here's a current collage of all of us together, because we love seeing us all in one spot.

Why are we doing this?: The community needs more positivity!

Who can interact?: This is a CDD safe space. I prefer if Endogenics and other Non-Traumagenic systems do not derail posts with non-trauma based commentary. Thank you for helping keep this place safe for discussions of those with a severe childhood trauma disorder!

Note: I am okay with Singlets and Questioning Systems being here. This is a place to learn more and relax away from the drama of the community. There is no shame in being who you are. I also recognize that I cannot stop people from interacting, and I do not police that sort of thing, beyond blocking those from this blog that reblog posts with unrelated or fakeclaiming content.

[pyroclastic727]

And here I thought “pyro” just had to do with arson but still very neat

I actually picked it because I was a bit of a geology nerd back then. Tried names like Feldspar (people kept asking me what it meant and I didn't have time to go into an in-depth explanation of the most common stone in the earth's continental crust--oh btw basalt is the common one in oceanic crust), Pyrite (fool's gold tho, and I am not a fool), Lignite (it's just soft coal and anthracite is stronger).

I settled on pyroclastic because it's the volcanic flow thing. Has the cool "pyro" bit but also the "clastic," which is the disorganized rock that comes together into a sedimentary hodgepodge. Very multifaceted--like me!

It's also very versatile for nicknames. You get things like Cinnaroll my beloved's "pyro classy," and the insult "pyro ass stick." It's a word that sticks in your head.

[sleepy82louih]

https://sleepy82louih.tumblr.com/post/683525068512460800/why-our-idiot-son-fractured-his-elbow-an-mbti

Hi! Omg I can’t believe my little shit post inspired you to write this brilliance! Your breakdown matches Louis so perfectly. I can talk all day abt astrology and human design and gene keys, but only know the very basics of mbti and now I want to learn more haha. I am so fascinated now by how it can explain like one’s thought processes and approach to things. And I loved nodding along connecting all the traits to their astro equivalents ofc. Anyway my dms are always open to talk personality systems nerd stuff lmao. 🤍

Hiya! Your post was great, actually! It matches with Louis (he's SUCH a Capricorn) so well! I remember that, two years ago, I dug up their charts (H and L) and decided that I wanted to see if they fit (since Capricorn and Aquarius can have bits of friction – I would know, I'm an Aquarius lol) and, to absolutely no one's surprise, their moon signs compliment each other so well, it's a little mad. Like, they fit like yin and yang it's INSANE. (Leo and Libra moon) So I am pretty interested in astrology myself!

MBTI is such a nice way to explain why people act they way they do, based on how they think inwardly and how they gather info from the outer world, and how the two communicate. I LOVED writing about Louis because he is fascinating and very multifaceted. I'd do one for Harry, but I'm waiting for a nice opportunity (and I also hadn't decided what type he is, he is so chaotic you can't pin him down lmao)

Anywho, I'm so glad you liked my post! I'll make sure to come talk to you about all nerdy things! Ask any questions, I'll try my best to answer!

[centrally-unplanned]

Allocating Your Aesthetic Budget: Sailor Moon Edition

Sailor Moon is a show that undoubtedly built a powerhouse of a visual brand. Should I even bother posting a screenshot of the sailor scouts, given that I am 100% confident anyone reading this can recall them instantly? I guess it won’t hurt: 

Anime is often really good at creating iconic designs like this, through repetition of the visuals. It is awkward in live action shows if characters just wear the same outfit every scene (what, they only own one outfit? Are they homeless/work in the tech industry?), but animation gives us enough aesthetic “distance”, an awareness that this isn’t accurate to real life, that you can buy into the conceit. By wearing the same outfit every time, it just becomes the character. Not to mention a studio can really save quite a few bucks by streamlining production with neat tricks like having only one character design to animate - when you are on a shoe-string budget, like pretty much every anime in the 90’s was, every cut corner counts.

What is interesting about Sailor Moon is that most of the time it doesn’t really use this conceit at all.

-----------

Episode 15 of Sailor Moon’s first season has, in its opening act, this shot of all of the Senshi (at the time) talking to the plot-of-the-day character, who clearly trains rock Pokemon in 16-bit caves in his off hours:

If you knew nothing about these three characters, you could probably infer about 80% of their personality just from their outfits. Usagi (the blond one in the middle, if that's necessary) is wearing:

Light pastel colours, with pink on top of that: girly, feminine, bubbly and breezy

Short-but-not-too-short of a skirt, and red heels: cares about fashion, wants to project an image of being a woman with a romantic hint to it

Long-twin tails w/ buns: Contrasting the shoes, she is still immature and childish. It also means she is the protagonist of an anime 

Rei (far right) rocks a very different look:

T-shirt and jean shorts, shoes over heels: sensible, practical, a bit sporty

Very short shorts, long black hair: Confident, a bit aggressive, and suggestive of a more overt sexuality

Ami (far left) settles into a more restrained vibe with:

Full, long, but sleeveless dress, bob-cut hair: Chaste, more conservative, but not to the point of prudishness; particularly with the length (and the hand posture, shielding her body) probably a bit shy

Monochrome blue colour in outfit & hair: reserved, serene, possessing a calm demeanor

I know I have seen the show already, but really none of these details are a stretch - this is just the language of fashion. And all of these outfits are outfits that the characters have never (or rarely) worn before up until this point. The cast of Sailor Moon, far from that animation conceit of “standard outfits”, change clothes all…

the….

time.

     I just randomly clicked on episodes to find these, it requires no hunting

And while it isn’t always as spot on as the top picture, they all in some way embody the language of visual design to speak to the personality of the characters. If you want to see more, check out one of the multiple tumblrs dedicated to the everyday clothing the Sailor Senshi wear, because of course those exist.

If this was a 2010’s Kyoto Animation show, pointing this out would be the end of it - every one of their shows has this level of impeccable detail. Sailor Moon is notable in that it is not at all that kind of show; the animation and designs in Sailor Moon take perpetual shortcuts to get the job done. I don’t think the transformation sequences need to be belabored - the way they permitted the team to recycle identical animation sequences, multiple times per episode, was surely a godsend to the production schedule. Yet not all of the budget limitations are so prettily masked:

     I’m sure they finished the background art in the...VHS release?

The show is filled with dirty animation, unfinished backgrounds, backgrounds that are a simple color gradient for no clear reason, and so on. It is clear that the Sailor Moon team did not have the resources for every detail - which is why the decision of what details they did choose to prioritize is so interesting.

----------

What is the point of Sailor Moon? I do believe that shows have “points”; and by that I don’t mean a message or theme but a core appeal to an audience, something specific that they will get out of the show. Almost every show appeals along multiple axes, and Sailor Moon is no exception, but I want to focus on one: aesthetic identification.

If you learn someone is a Sailor Moon fan, there is the obvious follow-up question you have to ask, namely “which Sailor Senshi are you?” It’s the which-Harry-Potter-house-are-you question of anime, a horoscope where you can choose your sign (in this case literally). The premise of this concept is not hard for media to execute on - it is just personality traits and aesthetics grouped together under a label, a basic building block of media and clickbait internet quizzes. Harry Potter, ironically, raised up its memetic question almost by accident, as its focus is so squarely on House Gryffindor that the others are almost forgotten; it was just so mind-bogglingly popular that it didn’t matter. 

Sailor Moon, however, takes this concept and allocates so much of its aesthetic budget into making it a centerpiece of the show. Sailor Moon herself is a klutzy, lazy romantic, Sailor Mercury is a shy, earnest bookworm, and so on, with none of them ever really becoming very complex characters. However, the show devotes itself to making you *feel* these archetypes as strongly and intricately as possible. All of those outfit changes are chosen because not only do real girls care about their outfits and can therefore identify more strongly with characters who do the same, but so they can constantly emulate their archetype in diverse, different ways. The show doesn't have the budget for intense action scenes, so after Sailor Moon engages in her hyper-serious transformation sequences, she proceeds to, nearly every time, bumble through the combat scenes like this:

Oh sure, the scenes are done this way because it is funny (and good comedy can be done on any budget - these shots are frequently still frames with motion lines!), but it is also done this way because Sailor Moon is a total screw-up, and if you identify with that it is validating to see someone “just like you” able to pull off wins despite it all. The transformation sequences are not only beautiful animation that showcases aspirational power, but are also crafted to highlight the personalities of the Senshi in question - unless you think aggressive, combative Rei got fire powers by coincidence. Half of the run-time of every episode is spent, not on the plot du-jour, but on light-hearted personal squabbles between the cast because those scenes are not just funny, but also allow for far more moments of character expression. 

All of that work pays off in building with the audience, not a connection with a character who reflects their identity in total, but a connection that reflects one aspect of their identity in an extremely deep (dare I say multifaceted?) way. I think if you were to describe Sailor Moon as a “shallow” show, you would actually be right to say so, in a sense. These characters will never have the true depth of personality, themes and so on of a more ‘adult’ show. But those adult shows have to spend their effort somewhere - for all that the themes of say Evangelion or Paranoia Agent are pristinely detailed and impactful, you aren’t ever going to be memorizing the moves of their transformation sequences. The way Sailor Moon committed so strongly to fleshing out the archetypes the Senshi stood for is, I think, one of the keys to how this cast of five became so iconic.

     Not even their school uniforms match! They had to spend time in-universe *justifying* this!

----------

A Final Note:

At least, everything I’ve said here applies to Sailor Moon at its peaks. The show, however, is not one without its stumbles, even in Season 1. This section doesn’t flow into the core essay too well, but I wanted to note it because if you were to watch Sailor Moon today, you might struggle to feel the dynamic outlined above. The biggest culprit here is the length - Season 1 is 46 episodes long, and sections of it most certainly drag. They also take a startlingly long time to introduce the cast - this choice builds tension around their arrival, but it also means the later Senshi get a lot less time to establish themselves. Sailor Venus in particular gets hamstrung by this - she is introduced and then immediately arc plot elements sweep the narrative, and so she is left as a hollow shell for some time. The pacing of the show is undoubtedly flawed.

I think Sailor Moon is a show that you do have to keep its time and place in mind for - namely, middle schoolers and anime nerds watching it on broadcast TV in the 90’s. As an adult you “get” the point of the show pretty quickly, and get satiated on it almost as fast. Watching it all in a few sittings only heightens this problem. For a younger audience, and one that is waiting for a week between episodes with no internet for plot reminders, all that extra time is needed to jog memories and build connections. And younger audiences just have that limitless commitment to the things they love! If you think no one could actually enjoy seeing the same transformation sequence for the 30th time, watch it with someone who would have died for this show when they were 10 and you will be disabused of that notion *very* quickly. 

Still, we can’t travel back in time - Sailor Moon is a show of its era. There are “filler-reduced” guides out there, though I caution that the plot of Sailor Moon is absolutely not the point of the show in comparison to the character dynamics, and so sometimes the filler is the best part (Cat-Rhett Butler is the best character in the show YOU KNOW I’M RIGHT). Certainly, however, some method must be used to cut down on its length. If you are going to be a first time viewer in adulthood, that reality should be kept in mind, and if you do accept it for what it is you can really appreciate its core appeal - and don’t forget to finish it off with a 1990′s era internet personality quiz to really wrap it up!

[akimbohimbo]

a few more curated playlists

it is 2 am: dark, with no one in sight. you & i are dancing along the empty streets of rome. the moon's reflection resembles a spotlight. it's focused on us & only the two of us. in this moment, time is standing still.

a subway soundscape; being stuck indoors has got me feeling nostalgic about commuting on stinky public transit for 15 hrs a week 

69 songs that make me feel alive while i’m biking 

tagalog song dump for my fellow filipinos out there 

this is a short & sweet playlist for when u are overwhelmed with everything & u need a warm hug + shoulder to cry on

i'm not your manic pixie dream bitch. i am a unique, multifaceted character with wants & needs of my own, and i certainly don't exist to cater to anyone's gaze.

i miss the outdoors!! being quarantined and isolated from the rest of society has left me being thoroughly enthralled by the sun

for my trans and gender non-conforming friends: you are loved. you are loved. you are loved. TRANS RIGHTS!!!

stop playing with my heart, straight girl! just be honest; are you into me or are you just fucking with me? 

bisexual tunes & bangerz to cuff your jeans to (pansexuals and other lgbts feel free to interact) 

listen to this when you’re having a panic attack

i wish i could have been able to slow dance with you while the eiffel twinkled beneath the night sky. here are some songs we should have listened to by the seine. yeah it smells like piss there but wouldn’t it be nice to be cheesy and romantic in paris? 

hold up, what are we? we've been stuck in limbo so much and it's confusing! can we please define our relationship?

69 of my favourite love songs that is exactly 4 hours and 20 minutes long

they’re best listened to in order because i’m a nerd who likes crafting narratives and making every song flow nicely to the next, but honestly putting them on shuffle is still a vibe.