#i am a hater of haters. just let life bring you joy wherever it will and you'll learn to let others do that too.

[raspberryjellybrains]

if I hear another goddamn word about band or gsa kids being annoying from other performing arts or queer people I am going to start biting.

[hijinae]

                   KANG  JINAE  ------  TASK  002

                                                                  ☇  listen on spotify.

anytime you need a friend by mariah carey ( for @myvngok )

❝ when the shadows are closing in    and your spirit diminishing,    just remember you’re not alone ❞

because you loved me by celine dion ( for @arxum )

❝ you were always there for me    the tender wind that carried me;    a light in the dark shining your love into my life.    you’ve been my inspiration,    through the lies, you were the truth,    my world is a better place because of you ❞

brother by NEEDTOBREATHE ft. gavin degraw ( for @svngwoo )

❝ i could never take the world alone,    i know that in my weakness, i am stronger    it’s your love that brings me home ❞

built that way by emotional oranges

❝ girl, you know i’m rock solid,    they throw shade, but it’s not my problem.    we ain’t trippin’, oh no, not now or later    middle finger to the haters that be tryna play us ❞

cater 2 u by destiny’s child ( for @ofdaeseong )

❝ when you come home late,    tap me on my shoulder, i’ll roll over    baby i heard you, i’m here to serve you.    if it’s love you need, to give it is my joy,    all i want to do is cater to you boy ❞

i turn to you by christina aguilera ( for @ofazcmi )

❝ when i lose the will to win,    i just reach for you and i can reach the sky again    i can do anything, cause your love is so amazing,    cause your love inspires me.    and when i need a friend, you’re always on my side,    giving me faith to get me through the night ❞

if you hate me by kiana lede

❝ you brush it off, that ain’t good enough.    we gonna need way more than love if we keep this goin’    take a loss, gotta let you be    cause i care way too much about you to keep it goin’.    it’s okay if you hate me ❞

my girl by the temptations ( @imsvlin )

❝ i’ve got so much honey, the bees envy me    i’ve got a sweeter song than the birds in the trees,    well, i guess you’d say: what can make me feel this way ?    my girl ( my girl, my girl ) ❞

oath by cher lloyd ft. becky g ( @malihq )

❝ wherever you go, just always remember    that you got a home for now and forever    and if you get low, just call me whenever,    this is my oath to you ❞

pony by ginuwine

❝ sitting here flossing,    peepin’ your steelo    just once if i had the chance,    the things i would do to you ❞

she’s in the rain by the rose

❝ you wanna hurt yourself, i’ll stay with you    you wanna make yourself go through the pain,    it’s better to be held than holding on ❞

sometimes by britney spears

❝ there’s things about me you just have to know:    sometimes i run,    sometimes i hide,    sometimes i’m scared of you,    but all i really want is to hold you tight    treat you right, be with you day and night ❞

start of something new by high school musical ( for @jaesungkg ) 

❝ now who’d have ever thought that    we’d both be here tonight    and the world looks so much brighter    with you by my side ❞

when i saw you by bumkey

❝ i’ll bury you in my fading memories,    i’ll live just with those memories.    your eyes, your face    if i can forget all of it,    will i be able to go back ? ❞

[dfroza]

Today’s reading from the ancient book of Proverbs and book of Psalms

for july 4 of 2021 with Proverbs 4 and Psalm 4, accompanied by Psalm 15 for the 15th day of Summer and Psalm 35 for day 185 of the year (now with the consummate book of 150 Psalms in its 2nd revolution this year)

[Proverbs 4]

Gather, children, to hear your father’s instruction.

Pay close attention so you will understand,

For I am passing down to you important precepts.

Do not abandon these valuable life lessons.

Back when I was young—the very image of my father,

and yet from my mother’s view, still her only boy—

My father, with his years of experience, became my teacher.

Father: Son, grab on to every word I say to you—hold them close—

stay true to my instructions as you live, and they will serve you well.

Whatever it takes to gain Wisdom, do it.

To gain understanding, do it! Never forget this!

Never stray from what I am telling you.

If you don’t forsake Lady Wisdom, she will protect you.

Love her, and she will faithfully take care of you.

Gaining sound judgment is key, so first things first: go after Lady Wisdom!

Now, whatever else you do, follow through to understanding.

Cherish her, and she will help you rise above the confusion of life—

your possibilities will open up before you—

embrace her, and she will raise you to a place of honor in return.

She will provide the finishing touch to your character—grace;

she will give you an elegant confidence.

Hear my words, my son, and take them in;

let them soak in so that you will live a long, full life.

I have pointed you in the way of wisdom;

I have steered you down the path to integrity.

So get going. And as you go, know this: with integrity you will overcome all obstacles;

even if you run, you will not stumble.

Tighten your grip around wise advice; don’t let it slip away.

Protect Wisdom, for without her, life isn’t worth living.

Do not start down the road of the wicked—

the first step is easy, but it leads to heartache—

do not go along the way of evildoers.

Stay away from it; don’t even go past it—

and if you find yourself anywhere near it,

turn your back and run as far as you can in the opposite direction.

For evildoers are so twisted they cannot sleep unless they have caused harm;

they’ll lie awake all night until they figure out a way to cause someone to stumble.

For they feed on evil the way most eat bread;

they drink violence the way most guzzle wine.

Yet the way of those who do right is like the early morning sun

that shines brighter and brighter until noon.

Evildoers travel a dark road because they love to hide their deeds in darkness;

they can’t see the perils ahead that cause them to stumble.

My son, pay attention to all the words I am telling you.

Lean in closer so you may hear all I say.

Keep them before you; meditate on them;

set them safely in your heart.

For those who discover them, they are life.

They bring wholeness and healing to their bodies.

Above all else, watch over your heart; diligently guard it

because from a sincere and pure heart come the good and noble things of life.

Do away with any talk that twists and distorts the truth;

have nothing to do with any verbal trickery.

Keep your head up, your eyes straight ahead,

and your focus fixed on what is in front of you.

Take care you don’t stray from the straight path, the way of truth,

and you will safely reach the end of your road.

Do not veer off course to the right or the left;

step away from evil, and leave it behind.

The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 4 (The Voice)

to be mirrored by this line:

Keep vigilant watch over your heart;

that’s where life starts.

The Book of Proverbs, Chapter 4:23 (The Message)

[Psalm 4]

For the worship leader. A song of David accompanied by strings.

Answer my prayers, O True God, the righteous, who makes me right.

I was hopelessly surrounded, and You rescued me.

Once again hear me; hide me in Your favor;

bring victory in defeat and hope in hopelessness.

How long will you sons of Adam steal my dignity, reduce my glory to shame?

Why pine for the fruitless and dream a delusion?

[pause]

Understand this: The Eternal One treats as special those like Him.

The Eternal will answer my prayers and save me.

Think long; think hard. When you are angry, don’t let it carry you into sin.

When night comes, in calm be silent.

[pause]

From this day forward, offer to God the right sacrifice from a heart made right by God.

Entrust yourself to the Eternal.

Crowds of disheartened people ask, “Who can show us what is good?”

Let Your brilliant face shine upon us, O Eternal One, that we may know the undeniable answer.

You have filled me with joy, and happiness has risen in my heart, great delight and unrivaled joy,

even more than when bread abounds and wine flows freely.

Tonight I will sleep securely on a bed of peace

because I trust You, You alone, O Eternal One, will keep me safe.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 4 (The Voice)

[Psalm 15]

A song of David.

Eternal One, who is invited to stay in Your dwelling?

Who is granted passage to Your holy mountain?

Here is the answer: The one who lives with integrity, does what is right,

and speaks honestly with truth from the heart.

The one who doesn’t speak evil against others

or wrong his neighbor,

or slander his friends.

The one who loathes the loathsome,

honors those who fear the Eternal,

And keeps all promises no matter the cost.

The one who does not lend money with gain in mind

and cannot be bought to harm an innocent name.

If you live this way, you will not be shaken and will live together with the Lord.

The Book of Psalms, Poem 15 (The Voice)

[Psalm 35]

Rescue Me

A poetic song by King David

[Part One – David, a Warrior]

O Lord, fight for me! Harass the hecklers; accuse my accusers.

Fight those who fight against me.

Put on your armor, Lord; take up your shield and protect me.

Rise up, mighty God! Grab your weapons of war

and block the way of the wicked who come to fight me.

Stand for me when they stand against me!

Speak over my soul: “I am your strong Savior!”

Humiliate those who seek my harm. Defeat them all!

Frustrate their plans to defeat me and drive them back.

Disgrace them all as they have devised their plans to disgrace me.

Blow them away like dust in the wind,

with the angel of Almighty God driving them back!

Make the road in front of them nothing but slippery darkness,

with the angel of Yahweh behind them, chasing them away!

For though I did nothing wrong to them, they set a trap for me,

wanting me to fail and fall.

Surprise them with your ambush, Lord,

and catch them in the very trap they set for me.

Let them be the ones to fail and fall into destruction!

Then my fears will dissolve into limitless joy;

my whole being will overflow with gladness

because of your mighty deliverance.

Everything inside of me will shout it out:

“There’s no one like you, Lord!”

For look at how you protect the weak and helpless

from the strong and heartless who oppress them.

[Part Two – David, a Witness]

They are malicious men, hostile witnesses of wrong.

They rise up against me, accusers appearing out of nowhere.

When I show them mercy, they bring me misery.

I’m forsaken and forlorn, like a motherless child.

I even prayed over them when they were sick.

I was burdened and bowed low with fasting

and interceded for their healing,

and I didn’t stop praying.

I grieved for them, heavyhearted,

as though they were my dearest family members

or my good friends who were sick,

nearing death, needing prayer.

But when I was the one who tripped up and stumbled,

they came together to slander me,

rejoicing in my time of trouble, tearing me to shreds

with their lies and betrayal.

These nameless ruffians,

mocking me like godless fools at a feast—

how they delight in throwing mud on my name.

God, how long can you just stand there doing nothing?

Now is the time to act.

Rescue me from these brutal men,

for I am being torn to shreds by these beasts

who are out to get me.

Save me from their rage, their cruel grasp.

Then I will praise you wherever I go.

And when everyone gathers for worship,

I will lift up your praise with a shout

in front of the largest crowd I can find!

[Part Three – David, a Worshiper]

Don’t let those who fight me for no reason be victorious.

Don’t let them succeed, these heartless haters

who come against me with their gloating sneers.

They are the ones who would never seek peace as friends,

for they are ever devising deceit against the innocent ones

who mind their own business.

They open their mouths with ugly grins,

gloating with glee over my every fault.

“Look,” they say, “we caught him red-handed!

We saw him fall with our own eyes!”

Yahweh, my caring God, you have been there all along.

You have seen their hypocrisy.

Yahweh, don’t let them get away with this.

Don’t walk away without doing something.

Now is the time to awake! Rise up, Lord!

Vindicate me, my Lord and my God!

You have every right to judge me, Lord,

according to your righteousness,

but don’t let them rejoice over me when I stumble.

Let them all be ashamed of themselves,

humiliated when they rejoice over my every blunder.

Shame them, Lord, when they say, “We saw what he did.

Now we have him right where we want him.

Let’s get him while he’s down!”

Make them look ridiculous when they exalt themselves over me.

May they all be disgraced and dishonored!

But let all my true friends shout for joy,

all those who know and love what I do for you.

Let them all say, “The Lord is great,

and he delights in the prosperity of his servant.”

Then I won’t be able to hold it in—

everyone will hear my joyous praises all day long!

Your righteousness will be the theme of my glory-song of praise!

The Book of Psalms, Poem 35 (The Passion Translation)

[oklahomacoffeecups]

The Unimaginable.

I’ve been wanting to update with a blog post for a while, but I haven’t been quite too sure what to say (or how to say it).

For now, I suppose it will suffice to say that life feels so full it is bursting at the seams.

Things have shifted and changed, and all of it has had a way of bringing me closer towards the things I love.

In the past 8 months, I have fallen in love, traveled to new places, started graduate school, started and stopped (and started and stopped) running, started a new job, written papers, completed my first semester of classes, bought a car, let go of my sweet house, and moved into a perfect new home.

And I want to pause and share a little about how our minds can try to trick us when things are going well.

When everything is beautiful, and happy, and exactly what we have prayed for: our brains sometimes don’t know how to react. See, most of us are used to so many things going wrong that we don’t know how to breathe easily without the weight of the world on our chest. We don’t know how to accept moments of peace and love and joy without the familiar stings of heartache and sadness. When things are good, a tiny voice can emerge that tells us we don’t deserve this, or that the other shoe is making its descent and will soon crash down on all of it.

Let me remind you of a worn down mantra I have:

Don’t you dare believe them.

Don’t believe the naysayers, the haters, the peanut gallery, the critics. Don’t believe the voice in your head that fills your heart with doubt in your abilities. Don’t believe people who always judge your capabilities in the present based of what you were able to do in the past.

You know what you are capable of. Deep down, you know what you can handle. You know that risks are just that—risks! And when you are ready to take those risks, it’s you and only you who knows what is best.

There will always be doubts, and fears, and worries. The past creeps up on us—that seems to be its job. But we don’t need to let the voices out in the world or in the back of our minds control us and keep us small.

We are meant to LIVE. It sounds so simple, but I know I forget most of the time.

We are not meant to be small, safe, or perfect. We are meant to try. To jump, to fall, to get back up. To dabble in hobbies we will never be successful in, and take jobs that lead us a little bit astray, and love the people around us. We are meant to interact with the world, not just exist within it. Talk to the people we encounter, and truly hear them. We are meant to speak our hearts, and to be vulnerable with the human beings we hold dear to us.

We are meant to do the things our soul points us toward, without hesitation.

So take it from me, a girl who despises change and risk. A girl who used to genuinely believe that I had to be perfect in order to be loved. A girl who let fear run her life and steal her joy for YEARS— life is worth the risk.

After 8 months of taking risks and combatting those pesky little doubts, I can say that I am genuinely happy.

I am happy because I have wonderful people in my life who lift me up and cheer me on. These people, they don’t hold me back from my dreams. They hold my hand when I need it, and let me go when I’m ready. Each day, I step into the person I wish to become, and it feels good.

Next semester I start seeing clients. In the past, that would have terrified me. But after this semester, I am ready. I am ready to listen, really listen, to another human being and be there for them in their struggles and their joys. I know I will never be the perfect therapist, but I always have the capacity to improve and that is what I choose to hold on to.

I feel honored to finally be so close to the dreams and goals I have had for many years. I have grown, I have changed, I have loved, I have made mistakes—and I have learned from all of it.

That is truly something to celebrate.

Cheers to you and yours, wherever you are. I’m rooting for you.

(As always, I’m here if you need me. Never hesitate to reach out for an encouraging word.)

Xoxo, Indy

[dfroza]

Today’s reading in the ancient book of Psalms

for Wednesday, April 22 of 2020 with Psalm 22 that is accompanied by Psalm 35 for the 35th day of Spring and Psalm 113 for day 113 of the year

[Psalm 22]

A Prophetic Portrait of the Cross

For the Pure and Shining One

King David’s song of anguish

To the tune of “The Deer at the Dawning of the Day”

God, my God!

Why would you abandon me now?

Why do you remain distant,

refusing to answer my tearful cries in the day

and my desperate cries for your help in the night?

I can’t stop sobbing.

Where are you, my God?

Yet I know that you are most holy; it’s indisputable.

You are God-Enthroned, surrounded with songs,

living among the shouts of praise of your princely people.

Our fathers’ faith was in you—

through the generations they trusted and believed in you

and you came through.

Every time they cried out to you in their despair,

you were faithful to deliver them;

you didn’t disappoint them.

But look at me now; I am like a woeful worm,

crushed, and I’m bleeding crimson.

I don’t even look like a man anymore.

I’ve been abused, despised, and scorned by everyone!

Mocked by their jeers, despised with their sneers,

as all the people poke fun at me, spitting their insults,

saying, “Is this the one who trusted in God?

Is this the one who claims God is pleased with him?

Now let’s see if your God will come to your rescue!

We’ll just see how much he delights in you!”

Lord, you delivered me safely from my mother’s womb.

You are the one who cared for me ever since I was a baby.

Since the day I was born, I’ve been placed in your custody.

You’ve cradled me throughout my days.

I’ve trusted in you and you’ve always been my God.

So don’t leave me now; stay close to me!

For trouble is all around me and there’s no one else to help me.

I’m surrounded by many violent foes;

mighty forces of evil are swirling around me

who want to break me to bits and destroy me.

Curses pour from their mouths!

They’re like ravenous, roaring lions tearing their prey.

Now I’m completely exhausted; I’m spent.

Every joint of my body has been pulled apart.

My courage has vanished and

my inward parts have melted away.

I’m so thirsty and parched—dry as a bone.

My tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth.

And now you’ve left me in the dust for dead.

They have pierced my hands and my feet.

Like a pack of wild dogs they tear at me,

swirling around me with their hatred.

They gather around me like lions to pin my hands and feet.

All my bones stick out.

Look at how they all gloat over me and stare!

With a toss of the dice they divide my clothes among themselves,

gambling for my garments!

Lord, my God, please don’t stay far away.

For you are my only might and strength.

Won’t you come quickly to my rescue?

Give me back my life.

Save me from this violent death.

Save my precious one and only

from the power of these demons!

Save me from all the power of the enemy,

from this roaring lion raging against me

and the power of his dark horde.

I will praise your name before all my brothers;

as my people gather I will praise you in their midst.

Lovers of Yahweh, praise him!

Let all the true seed of Jacob glorify him with your praises.

Stand in awe of him, all you princely people,

the offspring of Israel!

For he has not despised my cries of deep despair.

He’s my first responder to my sufferings,

and he didn’t look the other way when I was in pain.

He was there all the time, listening to the song of the afflicted.

You’re the reason for my praise; it comes from you and goes to you.

I will keep my promise to praise you before all who fear you

among the congregation of your people.

I will invite the poor and broken,

and they will come and eat until satisfied.

Bring Yahweh praise and you will find him.

Your hearts will overflow with life forever!

From the four corners of the earth,

the peoples of the world will remember and return to the Lord.

Every nation will come and worship him.

For the Lord is King of all, who takes charge of all the nations.

There they are! They’re worshiping!

The wealthy of this world will feast in fellowship with him

right alongside the humble of heart,

bowing down to the dust, forsaking their own souls.

They will all come and worship this worthy King!

His spiritual seed shall serve him.

Future generations will hear from us

about the wonders of the Sovereign Lord.

His generation yet to be born will glorify him.

And they will all declare, “It is finished!”

The Book of Psalms, Poem 22 (The Passion Translation)

[Psalm 35]

Rescue Me

A poetic song, by King David

[Part One – David, a Warrior]

O Lord, fight for me! Harass the hecklers, accuse my accusers.

Fight those who fight against me.

Put on your armor, Lord; take up your shield and protect me.

Rise up, mighty God! Grab your weapons of war

and block the way of the wicked who come to fight me.

Stand for me when they stand against me!

Speak over my soul: “I am your strong Savior!”

Humiliate those who seek my harm. Defeat them all!

Frustrate their plans to defeat me and drive them back.

Disgrace them all as they have devised their plans to disgrace me.

Blow them away like dust in the wind,

with the Angel of Almighty God driving them back!

Make the road in front of them nothing but slippery darkness,

with the Angel of the Lord behind them, chasing them away!

For though I did nothing wrong to them, they set a trap for me,

wanting me to fall and fail.

Surprise them with your ambush, Lord,

and catch them in the very trap they set for me.

Let them be the ones to fail and fall into destruction!

Then my fears will dissolve into limitless joy;

my whole being will overflow with gladness

because of your mighty deliverance.

Everything inside of me will shout it out:

“There’s no one like you, Lord!”

For look at how you protect the weak and helpless

from the strong and heartless who oppress them.

[Part Two – David, a Witness]

They are malicious men, hostile witnesses of wrong.

They rise up against me, accusers appearing out of nowhere.

When I show them mercy, they bring me misery.

I’m forsaken and forlorn, like a motherless child.

I even prayed over them when they were sick.

I was burdened and bowed low with fasting

and interceded for their healing,

and I didn’t stop praying.

I grieved for them, heavyhearted,

as though they were my dearest family members

or my good friends who were sick,

nearing death, needing prayer.

But when I was the one who tripped up and stumbled,

they came together to slander me,

rejoicing in my time of trouble, tearing me to shreds

with their lies and betrayal.

These nameless ruffians,

mocking me like godless fools at a feast—

how they delight in throwing mud on my name.

God, how long can you just stand there doing nothing?

Now is the time to act.

Rescue me from these brutal men,

for I am being torn to shreds by these beasts

who are out to get me.

Save me from their rage, their cruel grasp.

Then I will praise you wherever I go.

And when everyone gathers for worship,

I will lift up your praise with a shout

in front of the largest crowd I can find!

[Part Three – David, a Worshiper]

Don’t let those who fight me for no reason be victorious.

Don’t let them succeed, these heartless haters

who come against me with their gloating sneers.

They are the ones who would never seek peace as friends,

for they are ever devising deceit against the innocent ones

who mind their own business.

They open their mouths with ugly grins,

gloating with glee over my every fault.

“Look,” they say, “we caught him red-handed!

We saw him fall with our own eyes!”

But my caring God, you have been there all along.

You have seen their hypocrisy.

God, don’t let them get away with this.

Don’t walk away without doing something.

Now is the time to awake! Rise up, Lord!

Vindicate me, my Lord and my God!

You have every right to judge me, Lord,

according to your righteousness,

but don’t let them rejoice over me when I stumble.

Let them all be ashamed of themselves,

humiliated when they rejoice over my every blunder.

Shame them, Lord, when they say, “We saw what he did.

Now we have him right where we want him.

Let’s get him while he’s down!”

Make them look ridiculous when they exalt themselves over me.

May they all be disgraced and dishonored!

But let all my true friends shout for joy,

all those who know and love what I do for you.

Let them all say, “The Lord is great,

and he delights in the prosperity of his servant.”

Then I won’t be able to hold it in—

everyone will hear my joyous praises all day long!

Your righteousness will be the theme of my glory-song of praise!

The Book of Psalms, Poem 35 (The Passion Translation)

[Psalm 113]

Praise the Eternal!

All of you who call yourselves the children of the Eternal, come and praise His name.

Lift Him high to the high place in your hearts.

At this moment, and for all the moments yet to come,

may the Eternal’s name ascend in the hearts of His people.

At every time and in every place—

from the moment the sun rises to the moment the sun sets—

may the name of the Eternal be high in the hearts of His people.

The Eternal is seated high above every nation.

His glory fills the skies.

To whom should we compare the Eternal, our God?

No one.

From His seat, high above,

He deigns to observe the earth and her thin skies,

stooping even to see her goings on, far beneath His feet.

He gathers up the poor from their dirt floors,

pulls the needy from the trash heaps,

And places them among heads of state,

seated next to the rulers of His people where they cannot be ignored.

Into the home of the childless bride,

He sends children who are, for her, a cause of happiness beyond measure.

Praise the Eternal!

The Book of Psalms, Poem 113 (The Voice)