#i am a good person that deserves a good life and i will make it even if it takes years

[anna-pineappel]

This has been sitting in my Tumblr Drafts for a while, and I'm finally putting my thoughts in on this. Fair warning: this is going to be a long rant of a post, sorry not sorry!

I will NEVER write fanfic for financial gain! Obviously, with fanfiction, I don't own the characters/setting/Source Material, so it would not be wise to put my work behind a paywall. I do have some OC writing content, I was getting back into it earlier this year, then Peace in the Moonlight's prequel, Terror in the Shadows entered the chat and I am now high off of my Crackship StettiHo 😅 ANYWAYS... even if I ever got to the point where I wanted to 'Publish' my OC writing, I would do so on AO3/Tumblr/Google Drive PDF... where no money would be exchanged. I've been told I have potential to write professionally, and while it is very validating and flattering, it is not something I'm interested in, for a number of reasons:

Anytime I decide to make money off a creative endeavor, I almost immediately lose interest in that endeavor. I love writing fanfiction and posting it up on AO3, absolutely. HOWEVER, the moment I write for money and then feel Obligated to do so, I will never write again. This is just how I am.

With money on the table, I feel pressure to perform to standards set out by the person paying me. I will set impossibly high standards for myself and feel like it isn't good enough.

Or I'll feel like I can't write the story I want to, since someone else is dictating the content (i.e. they want a certain pairing, certain characters to be featured). I also feel safe pushing my own comfort levels within my writing when I'm writing for free. (I have learned wayyyyy to much about BDSM practices, the Gestapo/SS... it's a wild ride, okay??)

Life is expensive as is/capitalism/monetizing everything = blegh! I want people to be able to access my writing without having to pay for it. I write because I enjoy it, and it's a piece of my soul I'm baring to the world. You shouldn't have to pay for that!

If you feel compelled to donate money to me/you feel l deserve to be compensated for my writing (or any other writer), may I suggest donating to AO3 instead? It's sites like that that allow me and other writers to share writing in the first place and they are completely run by volunteers! Also, my favourite currency is in the form of kudos and comments... THAT'S ALL I NEED!!!!

Even if you ever did pay me for my writing, somehow, I would just turn around and throw the money at AO3.

Oh and if you're a writer who thinks they deserve to be compensated for writing/have exclusive fics under a paywall/what have you... SO MUCH OF LIFE IS ALREADY MONETIZED... WE DON'T NEED FANFIC WRITING TO BE ONE OF THOSE THINGS!!!!

The rest of the thread is here.

tl;dr: Don’t monetize AO3, kids.  You won’t like what happens next.

[missingininaction]

alright, friends, i might say something you don't like but i think it's important. not just to defend a character, but because i think this is literally making people's experience and relationship with this game worse.

give jimmy like two seconds to exist.

by hating jimmy so much you refuse to even say his name, and judge real, living people for liking him, you are cheapening your experience by boiling down the main character to the most ~yuckiest~ moments. and, by not making a seperate space for hating on him, you are drowning out the voices of people who actually have nuanced things to say about his character. you know, the skilled writers and artists that feed the fandom? limitation is what kills fandoms, you have to know that.

is jimmy a good person? no. is he a good captain/companion/worker? Absolutely Not! he crumbles like dust under any pressure and he immediately shifts blame off of himself, he is an actively harmful individual and it's right to be upset by his actions. i literally had to stop myself from saying "man FUCK jimmy." multiple times because i didn't want to spoil how terrible he got to my friends when i showed the game to them.

but you have to understand; people are more than their actions. thats part of the entire point of the game. thats why its so abstract. you are meant to think about the nuances of their situation.

we can agree that anya was way more as a woman than what happened to her and what she did as a result of it, right? that despite her best efforts, she was a victim of circumstance, and she deserves to be understood and analyzed fully?

then why, seeing a fictional man who has done immoral things, are you so disgusted you won't even draw, write or discuss him outside of hate? what is that doing for you, to ignore literally the main character of the game because of his actions?

now, this is not to say people can't hate jimmy. i understand it! as someone who has been a victim of s/a and abuse, i understand if you hate him and are even triggered by him to the point of avoiding mention of him. (but...why are you in this fandom? ((not aggressive im genuinely asking)))

you can feel however you want about any character, my goal is not to control people. but i thought it was common knowledge to not hatepost about someone in their tag? over actual insight into his character and, you know, the main themes of the game?

jimmy is a man who has struggled his whole life. both him and curly confirm that in the game. he's unable to control his emotional outbursts, and he likely had no idea what to expect from being in fucking SPACE for over a year with people he probably didn't even know before that trip. and pony express and their corporate safety corner cutting certainly didnt help, did it?

for one reason or another, he most likely was never actually taught how to manage his emotions. that's just how it is sometimes, growing up as a man. and it would make sense if he was forced to deal with everything himself, no? he always complains, but he still says he'll handle it. because that's what he's always had to do. and this is just the start of what i could say about what made him the way that he is.

he's a victim too, not only of his own actions.

surprise surprise, people who do awful things can also be victims.

honestly, this entire situation baffles me. how are you going to avoid one of the main characters of the game, let alone the one you play as ninety percent of the time? mind you, curly is also guilty, and i am happy to see at least some people giving him space for nuance. because he is also a victim!!! why is it so impossible to see jimmy as nuanced, when literally every other character also has incredible depth to them??

you're tarnishing and spitting on the beautiful writing of this game just because one character is too icky for you to feel comfortable thinking about for too long. it's horror, you absolute morons. it's supposed to make you uncomfortable.

if you hate jimmy, i dont blame you. but please, please, make your own space for it. be kind to people who want to explore jimmy and the darker themes, and like him for what his character represents. this is a video game fandom, not a witch hunt. and please, learn some fandom etiquette while you're at it, okay? okay. thank you

also just say his name. its not a slur youre not gonna go to hell if you say jimmy. like this isn't as important but still it just feels like a microcosm of this whole thing.

[iichfilwypj]

loved | percy jackson

ღ percy jackson x daughter of ares! reader ღ warnings: hurt/comfort! (for the ones that are so so angry) ღ wc: 720 this is clearly about me guys

“Percy, you don’t understand!” 

Her shouts shattered the silence of the forest; the birds seemed to have fled the moment they arrived, and the forest nymphs hid within their trees, unwilling to get involved.

“You’re right!” His voice was edged with frustration and anger as he followed her, but instead of looking threatening, he looked almost pitiable. "I don’t!"

There was a raw, painful gleam in his eyes, one she chose to ignore -although it proved her point.

“Why can’t you talk to me? Tell me what is wrong, please.” He begged. “I love you.”

No. 

Not those words. 

They were precisely the ones she didn’t want to hear. 

The weight they pressed onto her chest was overwhelming, and she didn’t think she could bear it any longer. 

He was the sweetest and kindest boy in camp, effortlessly funny and charming with everyone –how could someone like him love someone like her?

“That’s the thing.” Her fists clenched tightly at her sides, crescent-shaped marks forming in her palms. Her lips pressed into a thin line as she stopped to turn toward him. “You can’t love me!” 

And he flinched. He fucking flinched at her.

But she didn’t care.

“I’m mean! I’m mean, and violent, and aggressive. I’m insecure, quiet, narcissistic. I have anger issues, stupids outbursts, I curse all the fucking the time! I’m not-” She took a deep breath, trying to quell the anger boiling inside her.

She was unlovable.

“Percy, I can’t make you happy. I don’t know how you expect this-” She gestured toward the space between them, which seemed to close with each tentative step he took. “-to work, I am not good for y-”

“Don’t you dare finish that sentence.” 

Now it was her turn to flinch as he stepped closer, his hands gripping her shoulders firmly. 

He was staring into her eyes as if he could see right through her, peeling back her defenses to uncover the truth she kept hidden –something she sensed he had been doing for far too long. 

“Don’t tell me what’s good for me or not.”

She could only stay silent.

What else could she do with that sight in front of her? A sight that wasn’t made for her, that felt so foreign for her.  

Those green eyes looked at her with a love she was sure she didn’t deserve, and those hands brushed against her skin as if they could see something good within her that she had buried.

“I know you, and I know how you feel. Like you don’t deserve the good things that happen to you, like you’re not good enough, like you’re a burden in everyone else’s life." One of his hands moved to cup her cheek. "Like you are a bad person.” 

She almost laughed; well, he was really laying bare her entire life with his words. 

“I don’t know who made you think all of that, but please, I’m begging you, don’t believe them.”

“That's the thing,” Percy leaned closer to her to show he was paying attention, but it was almost impossible to get any closer. “No one said anything; I just know it.”

As she closed her eyes, he observed her. Before him stood his favorite person in the world, unraveling before his eyes.

And he couldn’t stand to see it happen.

“You are the purest person in the whole world. From the first moment I saw you, I was wrapped around your finger. My mother is tired of hearing your name, my room is fed up with me sprawled out, holding your photo, and my mind is consumed by thoughts of you –there is no space for anything else. ” 

The words flowed from his lips as if they were the most natural thing in the world, and the effect they had on her was overwhelming.

She felt the boy’s hands on her face, gently wiping away the tears she didn't know were there –he knew how much she hated being seen while crying.

When she finally dared to open her eyes, something clicked inside her as she was met with the prettiest shade of green.

She had never felt this way in her life, so free, so safe.

And despite the fear swirling within her, she wanted to try –to try with him.

“You are not mean, you are not a bad person, you are not something that is wrong."

His hands were so, so soft on her cheeks that she could've died.

But she didn't; she felt more alive than ever.

"You live, you act and you feel so, so much. You don’t have to be perfect to be loved, you have to be you. That would be enough for me.” She smiled at him, momentarily at a loss for words.

In response, she leaned in closer, pressing a soft, salty kiss to his lips. 

And she felt like she deserved it, like it was meant to happen. And maybe it was.

She felt so, so loved.

hi!! this is how i feel daily lately and i am so scared of telling someone! but i hope you like it!

[dissapointu]

fluffy story with Vi and a chubby S/O:

Vi wasn’t used to this.

Peace wasn’t something she got much of growing up, nor something she felt she deserved after all she’d been through. The chaos of Zaun, the fight to survive, the battles she had to win just to keep her loved ones safe — it left her wary of anything too quiet, too gentle.

But then you came into her life like the warmth of sunlight filtering through a cracked window. You were soft in a way that scared her at first. Not because you were fragile, but because you had a way of making her feel like maybe, just maybe, she could let down her guard.

And that was terrifying.

You didn’t flinch at her scars or the edge in her voice when she got too worked up. You saw her for who she was and didn’t turn away. And somehow, you made her believe she could be someone worth sticking around for.

•

It was a chilly morning in Piltover, and Vi was up early for once. You were still tangled up in bed, wrapped in a blanket like a cocoon. She leaned against the doorway, arms crossed, just watching you sleep for a moment.

Her tough, street-smart exterior softened as she smiled. You looked so peaceful, your chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm.

She slipped back into bed carefully, not wanting to wake you just yet. But as soon as her arms wrapped around you, you stirred, mumbling something incoherent as you snuggled closer to her.

“Good morning to you too,” she chuckled, pressing a kiss to the top of your head.

“Mm… no morning yet. Sleep,” you grumbled, half-buried in her chest.

“Sleep, huh? You’re cute when you’re grumpy,” she teased, gently poking your cheek.

You cracked one eye open to glare at her playfully. “Vi.”

“What? I can’t admire my partner in crime first thing in the morning?”

You groaned, but a smile tugged at your lips despite yourself. “You’re insufferable.”

“And yet, here I am. The luckiest insufferable person alive.”

•

Later that day, Vi decided to take you on one of her favorite little adventures through the streets of Piltover. It was a rare day off, and she wanted to spend it spoiling you.

“Where are we going?” you asked as she led you by the hand, weaving through the bustling market.

“Patience, babe. You’ll see,” she said with a mischievous grin.

The two of you stopped at a quaint bakery tucked away in one of Piltover’s quieter corners. Vi had been here a few times during patrols and always thought of you when she saw the display of pastries and sweets.

She bought an assortment of treats, insisting you pick out anything you wanted. “Don’t hold back on me now. I know you’ve been eyeing that chocolate tart,” she said, nudging you gently.

“You’re too good to me,” you said, blushing.

“Damn right I am,” she said, slinging an arm around your shoulders. “But you deserve it.”

As you both sat outside, sharing bites of flaky croissants and buttery cookies, Vi couldn’t help but admire you. The way your eyes lit up with every new flavor, the way you laughed when she accidentally got powdered sugar on her nose — it made her heart swell in a way she never thought possible.

The afternoon turned into evening, and the two of you ended up back at home, sprawled on the couch. You were cuddled up against her, your head resting on her shoulder as she absentmindedly played with your hair.

“Hey,” she said softly, breaking the comfortable silence.

“Hmm?”

“Did I ever tell you how much I love you?”

You looked up at her, surprised by the sudden tenderness in her voice. “Not today.”

“Well, I do. A lot,” she said, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “You’re everything I didn’t know I needed. And I know I don’t always say it the way I should, but I’m glad you’re here. With me.”

Your cheeks flushed, and you felt tears prick at the corners of your eyes. “Vi…”

She pulled you closer, her arms wrapping around you like a shield. “You don’t have to say anything, babe. Just let me hold you, okay?”

You nodded, burying your face in her chest as she held you.

In that moment, you realized Vi wasn’t just your partner. She was your home.

And for someone like Vi, who’d spent most of her life searching for a place to belong, you were hers too.

[spacecatdraws]

oh. this is interesting…

random personal lore drop below

(tldr: I don’t believe I can be a real system but I’m sure as hell not normal)

TW: (minor mentions) gvns, r@p3, d34th, (major mention) su1c1d3

I called myself endogenic because I don’t qualify as traumatized.

let me explain.

I’ve had anxiety, depression, ADHD, and other unidentified issues for my whole life. I roleplayed because it was my escape, life made me want to stop living so why would I stay there? When I was writing or drawing I was those characters, buried in their minds, filling in their bodies, but something would pull me back to reality and I’d feel it crumble. Some characters stayed longer than others. Slowly, I found out they weren’t character’s I had just made up; they were my theriotypes. I left it at that, that I was just a polytherian. But I’m not my types. I share a body with them. I have conversations with them, they care about me, we cuddle as best we can when there’s only one body to share. I love my parents. I love my friends. But life has always been terrifying to me. Sometimes things I’d never experienced would make me cry and hyperventilate. Gunshots make me freeze up and stop breathing. Mentions of sexual assault, of rape, of murder make me want to throw up and cry. Child abuse and childloss make me vengeful like I have nothing but rage. Labels and rules make me sick and dizzy. Poisoning and sickness make me feel like I’m drowning in them. I can’t recognize myself sometimes. My body isn’t mine. I always assumed I was just an odd therian. i learned about systems, and they described the things happening in my head. Some days I tie the door to my room shut because I want to starve and die and crumble so badly. But I always said to myself “my family and friends are fine, so I can’t be traumatized. It’s all in my head, and I’m a failure and a faker for ever thinking that I could be anything else. I’m just being a poser and hurting these people who have been through so much worse.” I believed so deeply that my issues were insignificant and that I didn’t have nearly enough mental problems to be a true system. I said to myself “I don’t have trauma. So I can’t be a DID system. But system is so comforting of a label, so I must be endogenic, and therefore I shouldn’t talk to anyone about my issues because I will just be taking away from people who truly are traumatized.” I never felt like I belonged in supporting spaces because I never got raped or shot or manipulated by my family or friends, even though those things dragged flashbacks from lives I never had, memories from the others in my body. My parents loved me, and my friends cared about me, so I wasn’t traumatized. I have no trauma, so I didn’t deserve to be in those spaces.

There are six of us. The host tries their best to take care of us, but takes out their emotions through cutting and starving themself. This isn’t my body. These aren’t my parents. I can tell these people care, but they’re not mine. I can’t remember what I did for most of the day. It’s all just fog. Fog and static.

If all endos are fake and posers, then I must be one too. Even though I hear my packmates, the others in this body, I love them so dearly, and I can feel their limbs and the memories are so strong it hurts me physically.

I can’t be truly traumatized, right? Not if my family was good.

Not if my friends were nice.

Even though this world makes me want to hang myself…

I don’t count as traumatized enough to be a true system.

I am nothing but a fraud.

ENDO LORE?????!????

[mystlael]

Batfam Incorrect Quotes

Jason: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck.

Bruce: You either buckle down and do your work or you’ll end up at McDonalds. Robin!Dick: We're going to McDonalds if I don't do my work? Bruce: NO-

Jason: FIGHT ME, YOU NERD ASS SLUT! Bruce: At least try to sound slightly more sophisticated when you threaten someone. Jason: Oh, I'm sorry. I should ask; dost thou want to engage in a duel, my good bitch? Bruce: Somehow that's worse.

Roy: Talk dirty to me, baby~ Jason: The dishes. Roy: Wh- Jason: They’ve been there for 4 days and it’s your turn to wash them. You still haven’t cleaned them and I have asked you to do so several times.

Jason: I am working on this whole Good Guy thing, but anyone who cuts me in line at Starbucks deserves to have their kneecaps shot out, okay?

Steph: What's my sexuality?! I don't fucking know! I'm not straight, and that's all that matters. Well, maybe that's unfair to the straights. Some of my best friends are straight! Well, one of them. Well, I know them, and Bruce is a perfectly tolerable person in small doses!

Robin!Dick: H-how do you ask someone out? Bruce: Well, first- Selina: Don't ask him, he asked me out on a Gotham rooftop in the rain. Dick: ...And you said yes?

Damian: I wish I had more enemies. Talia: I’m sure you will someday, honey.

Tim: Ok so, apparently the "bad vibes" I've been feeling are actually severe psychological distress.

Tim, slamming pots and pans together to the rhythm of "Give it to me, I'm worth it": I didn't get no sleep cause a' y'all! Y'all never gonna sleep cause a' me!

Jason: I have been tricked, I have been backstabbed, and I have quite possibly been bamboozled.

Tim: I’ve made a spread sheet of all the crime in Gotham. Tim: There’s so much crime, no one should live here.

Steph: Uhh.. Damian just asked if we want to… Steph: “Fell the mighty before their time and display their carcasses in our homes?” Dick, not even looking up from his phone: He's asking if you wanna cut down Christmas Trees. I told him he had to spend more time with you guys Steph: Oh, that makes more sense.

[wholelottaprompts]

ᡣ𐭩 Emails I Can't Send Prompts ᡣ𐭩

from the album Emails I Can't Send, by Sabrina Carpenter

"And I still make excuses for you constantly."

"Sorry that I pulled the 'it's not you, it's me.'"

"You're not my friend, and baby, you never were."

"It's times like these I wish I had a time machine."

"Whatever, you're a waste of time."

“Oh, so you do have a type."

"Where else can we go?"

"I hate the way you left me dry."

"Give me a second to forget I ever really meant it."

"Don't say sorry now."

"One day, I'll make sure you get a real apology."

"I tried to look for the best in the worst."

"Oh, so you can reply."

"I'm so tired."

"You want me? I'm done."

"I wonder how many things you think about before you get to me."

"You're lucky I'm a private person."

"I'm over that son of a bitch."

"Don't make me cuss you out."

"You're so vicious."

"Nobody gets my jokes, everyone here thinks I'm fucking rude."

"Why were you somewhere else when you were next to me?"

"I can't help it, it's a habit."

"You act like a bitch."

"I never saw him and we never kissed."

"There's nothing left here to decode."

"Were you lying to me and the family?"

"If you wanted brown eyes, I could have got contacts."

"You don't feel remorse."

"That never made too much sense to me."

"I can't read your mind."

"Why'd you let me down?"

"You knew I would see that."

"Looking at you got me thinking nonsense."

"Bet you wanna love me now."

"How do you do this to me?"

"Tell me what's gonna happen."

"You knew I would notice."

"I'll drive you home."

"I don't even know, I'm talking nonsense."

"I want you there sometimes."

"She looks nothing like me."

"Your signals are mixed."

"Everything reminds me of you."

"I know you know it keeps me up."

"You drive me crazy."

"Chase me."

"Did you even give a fuck?"

"You disgust me."

"Now I'm a homewrecker. I'm a slut."

"Tell me I was more than just a decent opportunity."

"Why do you look so happy?"

"I'm so sorry for your loss."

"Thanks to you, I can't love right."

"I know now even if I tried to change that somehow, you'd end up with her anyway."

"You fit every stereotype."

"Does she step out of the spotlight so you bathe in it?"

"Now I can't even look at you."

"You said I'm too late to be your first love, but I'll always be your favorite."

"I know what you're about to say."

"Does she get up on top of you more than I would?"

"He had it coming."

"I deserve my own consideration."

"I look up from my phone and think there's no chance it's you, but it is."

"He's good for my heart, but he's bad for business."

"I've got death threats filling up semi trucks."

"How am I supposed to close the door when I still need the closure?"

"All my friends think I've gone crazy."

"I care, but I don't."

"Please fucking fix this."

"Tell me that you miss me in your life."

"It feels so good not caring where you are tonight."

"You were all I looked up to."

"Was I being lied to?"

"I got ways to find you anywhere."

"You miss me? No duh."

"Maybe we should do this on purpose sometime."

"It was all so innocent."

"What the fuck is patience?"

"I can't even stomach loving someone else."

"God, I love you, but you're such a dipshit."

"You're good at impersonating someone who cares."

"I bet your house is where my other sock is."

[generalluxun]

I'm still trying to get my head around Chat Noir's complete sidelining not just in the finale, but pretty much the entirety of the show. Based on some of the tweets I've seen, Thomas Astruc is pretty hostile to the suggestion that Chat should have more of a share of the narrative.

So... why? Why make his family, his very existence, the fulcrum on which the show turns? If you want to be the show to only be about Marinette, with Adrien as a side character and "just" a love interest, then MAKE the show only about Marinette. Don't make the main plot about Adrien, and wonder why people are confused when he's not more involved in the main plot. It's such a self-inflicted wound.

Heck, the least they could have done was give Marinette SOME personal stake in her conflict with Hawkmoth, even if it's as uncomplicated as making Marinette a paragon-type superhero like Superman or Captain American who takes her duty to the people of Paris very seriously and feels deeply about the hurt Hawkmoth's is putting them through. But most of Marinette's personal conflicts are about romance or school dynamics. The closest any of her conflicts come to her actual enmity with Hawkmoth are those that deal with the stress of being a superhero/Guardian, in which Hawkmoth doesn't really feature as a person who is her mortal enemy but as an impersonal cause for the stress she's in.

While the finale tries to summon some emotional weight to Marinette's situation, the final fight, at least on Ladybug's end, feels less like the culmination of an epic rivalry and more like a contractual obligation Marinette needs to meet as Gabriel's assigned nemesis.

I mean, the unsatisfying but true answer is twofold:

1)TA never wanted Ladybug to have a partner. That was a requirement in order to get producers lined up to hand over money. It should be understood that I am NOT trashing the producers for this. It is their money. If you want to pursue your purely artistic goal then you secure other funding or self fund. If you want to get something MADE then you have to make what people want to pay to have made. A portion of the friction here comes from the fact that I don't think TA ever stopped fighting for his original version of the show, and that version conflicts directly with the version he was paid to write for.

2)In the context of the above- Adrien is a TROPHY. Gabriel is the DRAGON, and his home life is the TOWER that the KNIGHT Marinette must rescue him from. If Adrien were a side-character he wouldn't be much of a trophy, investment wise. Is it good to make a character purely a trophy? No. It's not good when it is done ot female characters, it's not good when it's done to male ones either. (Or intersex, enby, nongendered, etc) We've moved past the kind of storytelling TA is selling in his vision of ML. It feels like something out of the early 00's, which when you consider where he started his work, makes a lot of sense.

Should they have connected Marinette to Gabriel more? Absolutely! They both do fashion! SHE could have had an internship right along with Lila. Can you imagine the rivalry there? Can you imagine the conflicts with Gabriel?

At the VERY least they should have let Marinette actually track down abriel. Let her put all her planning and analysis to good use! Instead they just had Felix do it all and then some blind luck at the end. That's LAME, that's cheating Marinette out of a well deserved culmination story beat.

Punching has never been what Ladybug was about, so a final fight could never be a satisfying climax no matter how 'epic' it was.

[lazyturtlehottub]

“You’re such an asshole.”

There’s nothing Tommy can really say to that because he absolutely is but Evan’s right up in his space, warm palms sweeping over his stomach and waist as he leans in to kiss him again. Tommy makes a small, strange sound, a whining curl that starts in his chest and flows into Evan’s mouth, his hands rising to cup his elbows. Breathing’s more than a little difficult, Evan’s tongue hot and demanding and there’s no defense against it, against him. Tommy shudders his surrender.

“I’m so mad at you,” Evan says once Tommy’s knees are weak and his lungs hurt from not being able to get enough oxygen. The scruff of his cheeks and jaw scrapes over the sensitive skin of his neck as Evan nudges his face there, mouth parted, tongue pressing over the rapid thrum of his pulse. “You just left. You left me. And I wish I could hate you but I can’t.”

“Evan—” Tommy hiccups on his name, fingers flexing on his elbows. “I’m sorry.”

Evan bites him, hard and sharp, and Tommy cries out, hips jerking against Evan’s body as his cock thickens all the way. Evan doesn’t let go, hanging on by the teeth, and Tommy’s delirious as he thinks that he might come just from this.

It hurts so much but it’s the first time since he left the loft and Evan that the pain’s a good one, that he wants more.

“Harder,” he pleads.

Evan hums and bites down harder, sucking at the flesh, and Tommy tries to wriggle away despite how much he wants it but Evan’s strong, matches him pound for pound, and kicks his legs apart to jam his thigh between them. Tommy grinds against the thick muscle there, hand snapping from Evan’s elbow to curve around the shape of his skull, wanting a mark to be left on him so he can say look, Evan was here, it was real, there was something true.

Disappointment and relief sweep through him when the pressure eases and Evan lifts his head, mouth wet; his neck throbs, an agonising bruise he wants to dig his fingers into.

“I don’t want us to be over,” Evan says because damned if he isn’t the bravest person Tommy knows. “Tommy…I miss you. You hurt me but I fucking miss you.” His thumb rubs over the bruise and Tommy shudders at the sensation. “And you miss me too.”

“Of course I do,” Tommy murmurs, eyes fixed on a point over Evan’s head. “But you deserve more than this.”

Evan presses his thumb down hard, and Tommy jack rabbits against the pain but he’s pinned in place and his cock throbs, leaking in his sweats.

“Stop telling me what I deserve and what I think and how I feel,” Evan snaps. “God, you’re so patronising, I hate that.”

“I—I don’t mean to be,” he replies, horrified by how shaky his voice is. “You’re just so…”

“So what?” Evan demands. “Come on, Tommy, what am I?”

The sun.

The love of my life.

The only person I ever want to see.

“Everything,” Tommy whispers. “You’re everything.”

Oh we are putting Tommy through it with the voicemail and the photos 😆😆😆

Tommy should get drunk and leave a voicemail for Buck next. Quid pro fucking quo and all

I mean...I'm down if you are!

What's the saying, team work makes the two sad blorbos fuck or something? 🤣🤣🤣

[dykedvonte]

I find the line "I have to believe our worst moments don't make us monsters." Fascinating because it comes from Anya, and I feel she really proves it the best.

For obvious reasons most people are in the "Anya did nothing wrong" camp and for good reason but there is a single action that I don't think she did well and it was her suicide. Specifically her method.

Realizing that Anya took Curly's painkillers was horrifying to me. As a Nurse I have no doubt that she'd know how terrible dying from overdose is. She had access to a gun which is well known for having a far more instant and far less painful death. And despite everything falling apart around her, knowing how bad Jimmy was, she still left Curly alive.

I don't think I thought about it much like that at first but the longer this game has sat with me the more horrified I am by the action. Curly is man who has been horribly disabled and is completely unable to help himself and he is very much a human being who does not deserve to be anywhere close to that amount of pain. Those painkillers were one that the few things that could give him any amount of relief and Anya took them.

She could have shot herself and left the painkillers for whoever was left to help Curly. She could've shot Curly and then taken the painkillers. She could've shot them both and quickly put an end to their misery, yet she didn't. Anya had a great amount of her agency stripped away from her, to the point that she didn't deem life to be worth it anymore and ended it, right next to a man who couldn't make that choice for himself even if he wanted to.

It is easily her most horrific choice and yet, she's still an angel.

(Please don't take this as Anya slander, I genuinely love her so much. I just find this to be an incredibly interesting thing)

I do subscribe to the idea that Anya realized that Jimmy was hitting Curly when giving him his medicine but didn’t intervene. I also don’t think her taking the pills from Curly as monstrous mainly because (while she knew he suffered worse with out them) she likely also knew they were basically bandaids on a bullet wound.

I have this sort of belief that that statement can only really apply to Jimmy in the inverse. Like some statements in the games aren’t meant to apply to all characters and not in every context of every action they do. It’s the idea that no one should be responsible for Jimmy’s actions but himself but they are forced to by him or the environment. Everyone is experiencing their worst moments but no one is a monster outside of Jimmy due to his inability to take responsibility and how he escalates the severity of the situation through his bad choices. Even then it’s not one moment that makes Jimmy a monster it’s the culmination of every moment that prove his inability to be anything but in this scenario.

With Anya you must remember she did have the code to the gun. Yeah, she could’ve broken it open but who’s to say how easy or how long it would’ve taken. Not to mention, there’s this misconception that she wanted the gun to kill Jimmy which isn’t true. She wanted the gun to defend herself in the case he got aggressive which is an important note of Anya being the only proactive person on the ship vs reactive. Locking the door, knowing there was no way in was likely a duel mercy for them both. A person in his state would die relatively soon without constant care and she has ample time to pass. It’s a hard decision to make for herself and someone else but it was the easiest even if it caused more damage than it was ever meant to cause.

It’s a sort of parallel to how Curly made choices he thought would help Anya and everyone but ultimately doomed them all further. Jimmy got what he wanted in both scenarios of crashing the ship and wanting Anya gone. What happened on the Tulpar will go down as a tragedy if they are ever found, a mystery if not but certainly not in a way that Jimmy wanted. Anya and the pregnancy are effectively gone but he’s still facing the repercussions for it.

There’s this idea that it’s controversial to say that Anya was anything but perfect and while I don’t think she did anything wrong, she certainly didn’t make the best choice in telling Jimmy but that again was because of the situation and environment she was in. We don’t know why she didn’t wait on Curly after their conversation in the cockpit, we know that was the plan and we know Jimmy finding out through her alone was the catalyst to the crash within like the next hour, yet you can’t really blame her. We don’t know why Jimmy came to medical nor what anyone else was doing. It can be considered her one mistake but then again we can’t blame a reasonable action on someone’s unreasonable response.

I think that’s a big aspect a lot of people look over in the characters actions. Most of them are normal, reasonable, human. But the systematic responses to them and Jimmy’s are unreasonably harsh and punishing.

This has gone off in a tangent from what you originally posed but I genuinely think of what might do happened if that confrontation happened with Curly there and away from the cock pit. I assume it’d happen in medical or even utility, hell, an area away from anything sensitive but what if? If the ability to do something awful wasn’t at Jimmy’s finger tips, if there was more than one voice in Curly’s head during that moment, what would’ve changed?

When I look at Anya I see her as having the best responses to anything happening during the events of the game but the environment, systems against her and even the other crew mates to an extent made it so it would inevitably backfire on them and mostly her hard.

[maddiem4]

Well, I wanna be working on a novel right now, but apparently it's time to make a certain kind of post again, as is periodically necessary, because young queer folk keep trying to reinvent the Hayes Code for a variety of misguided reasons. So you know what? Let me lead with the TLDR, and then give my reasoning. If you DNI stuff like incest, I am not just going to unfollow you, I am going to block you.

Now, if you're the type to make assumptions, you might be surprised to hear that I'm not into incest. Sorry to disappoint. Well, unless you count selfcest, but people don't usually lump those together except by technicality. But incest is really not my thing.

That said, I have mutuals who are into it, and harmless about it. Whether it's fictional, RP, or consensual, it's not my business and it hurts nobody. Get used to those words, they're gonna be a mantra here. Further, I've seen how Hayes Queers (hey, I needed a term for them) talk about harmless members of their own community who give them The Ick. The post I'm writing here is a direct reaction to seeing a Hayes Queer post from someone I followed! Reading that, and the comments on it. And lemme tell you: y'all are very quick to throw your peers under the bus with the exact same logic (respectability politics, personal disgust, "making a bad name for us as a larger group", lurking threat to our moral purity) that the conservatives are using to argue for the mass extermination of queer folk. You are bringing pitchforks and tiki torches to the party. So no, I am not going to give you access to my vulnerable mutuals. That's the heart of it. You are a danger to your community, and I'm going to limit the scope of harm you can do. The broader queer/kink communities have worked hard to define harm more carefully than "well I just personally think it's gross." Scat and piss are gross to me, but my mutuals who are into those things do still deserve love and safety, not to be sacrificed on an altar of conservative family values for imaginary "one of the good ones" points. I have a responsibility to look out for my people. So do you, FYI.

So here's the recipe for living online with people whose kinks aren't your business and hurt nobody: learn to scroll past those posts or block those tags, or even block that person. Be an adult. The world does not exist to be personally palatable to you. You are not being harmed, you're being inconvenienced. If you can't handle that, you're the one bringing real-world (rather than imagined) danger to your community. Fuck's sake.

This also finally convinced me to look up what "proshipper" means after seeing it in discourse for years, these dreaded dangerous devils who apparently must be purged from the internet, and... holy fuck, how is this contentious? It literally just means you can disagree about fandom pairings without harassing people? That's just mature behavior in a shared space. That's what the argument is about? Oh my god. If you're arguing about this in 2024, your Aunt Maddie is fully ashamed of you for real.

The dumbest part is that people get doxxed for saying the stuff I'm saying, and maybe it'll happen to me. Guess I'll roll the dice. Which comes full circle: if you're looking at this post and trying to decide how to punish me for it IRL, you are literally being the danger. Stop and think for 30 milliseconds. Maybe I have a point that you are a bigger threat than two trans girls who like to pretend to be sisters for sex reasons. And I don't wanna hear no trauma excuses from any of you little monkeys, fetishes come from trauma a decent percentage of the time, so a lot of the people you're persecuting are victims of the same kind of assault as you.

This is more words than I ever should have to write about a self-evident topic. I know if you're young enough and still figuring out a lot of life stuff from scratch, it may not be self-evident to you. But hopefully it is now before you fucking hurt somebody. Thanks.

[ellecdc]

hi elle, could i get a ☕️ cup o' cocoa? g, h, n and w with poly rosekiller? thank u sm xoxox 💞

-🪸

sure thing babes <3

g = getting together; how did it all come about? were there any pre-existing relationships between them?

I feel like Barty is the kind of guy to just show up one day and never leave again. like if for whatever reason he's decided you're his person, that's just how it is now. I feel like he just did that twice. my thoughts is it would have been Evan first - I mean they shared a dorm and were friends, etc - and then he clung to reader and Evan just doesn't really say no much, and decided he was quite fond of them too!

h = hobbies; does anyone share any hobbies/passions? how do they include the rest of their partners in them?

Barty is a pyro, and I've actually written a fic before of him trying to incendio a daily prophet article with wandless and non-verbal magic, so I feel like that would be a hobby of his. Evan reads biology and anatomy books in his free time, like studies and memorizes diagrams of the inner workings of any and all living things - fucking creep <3 but I see those as what they do in their own time.

n = nights; what’s the nighttime routine like when they’re all together?

I feel like Evan has to tell everyone that it's time for bed. He'd happily sit around until the sun comes up, but when Barty starts to get too worked up or reader starts falling asleep sitting up, he's like "yeah okay none of this, everyone up, we're going to bed"

w = worthy; how are insecurities handled? is anyone more self-conscious than the others?

hmmmm.... I think Barty will just live the rest of his life knowing/feeling that he's actually not good enough and not worthy of love and acceptance, but is willing to do whatever it takes for as long as it takes to be worthy. like, he doesn't think he deserves it, but he works hard for it, if that makes sense? so in that regard, I feel like he works hard at it himself, and every once in a while, his partners will remind him to breathe and that he's safe and loved and it's okay. I don't see Evan having insecurities as such? like I think every once in a while he'll go "well shit, what am I doing? idk how to handle emotional shit like this?" but then manages fine so it doesn't bother him quite as much

[inspotlight]

❝     you     don't     have     to     do     that.     i     know     i     was     being     awful.     being     upset     doesn't     absolve     me     of     how     mean     i     was.     i     love     that     we've     worked     things     out     and     we're     moving     on     with     our     lives,     together.     ❞     she     says,     sighing     softly.     she     knew     that     she     hadn't     been     a     good     person     for     a     while.     she'd     been     upset     and     she'd     taken     it     out     on     people     who     didn't     deserve     her     anger.     ❝     i'm     really     happy.     i     don't     know     if     i     tell     you     that     enough,     but     i     am.     i'm     so     happy.     i     love     you     and     this     life     we     have     together     and     our     precious     little     kitty     cat     and     i'm     just...     really     happy.     ❞     for     so     long     she     had     denied     him     even     just     the     knowledge     that     being     around     him     did     make     her     happy.     she     had     put     on     that     act     for     so     long     and     now     she     was     trying     to     break     the     habit     of     not     telling     him     how     much     she     loves     him     and     loves     being     around     him.     she     can't     help     but     smile     as     he     kisses     her     forehead.     she     always     feels     so     loved     with     him;     it's     the     best     feeling     in     the     world.     she     snuggles     in     closer,     hooking     a     leg     over     his     hip     and     pulling     herself     that     much     closer     so     they     can     go     to     sleep.

having these conversations like this is really satisfying. the fact they're just- laying in their bed together, cuddling and talking about the way things have changed.    ❝    i'm sure you would've gotten there, but... i'm really glad we're getting to like- work through some of our shit together. and for the record nini- you were never an awful person. you were just upset. and rightfully so. but i am glad we both kinda- know what we know now. it feels so much better to have all the wondering gone. that we can just... enjoy being together.    ❞    and they really have been enjoying it. they got their kitten together, got engaged, won at worlds and then got gold at the olympics together... they're in a really great place in their lives now, as well as in their relationship. and how exciting their partnership and their relationship can evolve hand in hand.    ❝    we've made the best family together, my love. life's just gonna keep getting better    ❞    he tilts his head to press a kiss to her forehead, smile soft and warm. he's very tired, and it's hitting more and more now they're in bed.