#i am a chay protector first and foremost

[teenjiism]

listen. i want kim’s head on a platter, too. he deserves to be bonked on the head by tankhun for what he did to chay.

HOWEVER. while his initial choice to approach and string on chay are questionable at best and punishable by severe bonking at worst, logically, he made the right choice by distancing himself from him. no, he shouldn’t have let it get this far, but he didn’t know what he was getting himself into with chay and he wasn’t counting on developing feelings for him.

despite “officially” not being a part of the family, he still has ties to them. hell, he busted in to save chay just an episode ago. he is still very much part of the mafia world, whether he wants to be or not and chay is yet another tie to it now. chay already got kidnapped because he’s porsche’s brother, kim doesn’t want to be the reason chay gets in serious harm. a heartbreak, he can get over. whatever the mafia world might do to him, not so much.

kim obviously cares for chay and is attached. he’s a lonely person, just like chay; the difference is that chay took the opportunity to change that without hesitation because he craves love and affection, while kim is reluctant to accept or extend this love because of who he is. his cold mafia prince persona is just that — a persona, an exterior he adapted to shield himself from further harm. he managed to, some extent, escape a world that’s pretty much inescapable and now he’s trying to shield himself. and others, or at least that’s what he thinks he’s doing.

while chay technically is a child, he’s a lot more mature and independent than kim AND porsche give him credit for. kim has some serious amends to make but first and foremost, he needs to be honest with himself, then chay, about how he feels and his reasonings. chay is mature because he had to adapt to a lonely world around him but his heart is soft and ready to love. he is a ray of sunshine who now has to accept that he’s been lied to for so long, and possibly, even longer with whatever their parents were hiding. the biggest source of his wide-eyed innocence is his big heart, his pure, honest love and i hope kim realizes that he can have a role in nurturing this innocence. he can protect chay, but he doesn’t have to do it alone, because i’m pretty sure once they meet him, half of the main family household would be willing to murder for chay — with tankhun leading them.