#i always gotta reference old posts yknow | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

hausofmamadas · 5 months ago

Text

got me back on my shit again and i'm legit begging(?) you for part 5? like now pls? kthxbyeeee (also gif use, honored)

═

Sorta feels like you’re just a part of it, part of him, part of the day and the routine, you know?

Wowweeee wowow, there is nothing constructive for me to say here except i just love this syntax, it’s giving prose, it’s giving bars, i’m already taking notes

But you’d still like to go out and do things together too, nice things, the way people do when they’re still trying to win each other.

SKSKSKS leave it to Johnny to get to like old-married couple with someone after only a month, like this man is just so over the rigamarole of trying to court someone proper, yknow and like it makes sense given the fact that he’s newly divorced like as someone who’s been through a pseudo-divorce of my own, i can tell you, it becomes increasingly difficult to maintain the requisite number of fucks you should probably give when entering into a new relationshipskskskks but also like i see you Johnny and i’m with you and i respect the approach

… or sometimes someplace is everyplace, cause he likes just riding round with you.

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh????????????????? once again fucking sickening concoction of words and all i can do here is stand and gaze at it, mouth hanging open, drooling like i’m just now witnessing the arrival of our space alien overlords coming to take over planet earth

Likes cutting through the night with you on the back. And you gotta say, those one’s are nice ones, cause it lets you shut everything off, which you figure is the same thing he likes about it. But if you’re really honest, most times, you don’t even get off the front porch.

See now this is another post-divorce approach to dating that i can really fucking get behind skdfjsks

Always with no requests, no offers, just, "You got a minute?" And you say, "yeah, for you I got ten," cause, well, you’re kinda starting to feel like need it. Like you’d sleep funny if you didn’t get to see him, even just for a little while.

LIKE YOUD SLEEP FUNNY IF YOU DIDN’T GET TO SEE HIM EVEN JUST FOR A LITTLE WHILE GTFOSOOOOOOSDKFJSLFJKA;LSKD;DFLJSLKDFJSLFKJALKJSDLKFJSK WHAT A BEAUTIFUL, MOVING SENTIMENT THAT’S JUST PLOPPED IN THERE SO CASUALLY???? Liek johnny is hte stuffed teddy bear you need to fall asleep at night, he just absolutely is, i don’t care if he’d kick me in the head for saying it bc he’s just mad that its the truth sksksjd

But you like to hear whatever he’s got to give, boring work stuff or not, cause then it means you’re even, you know? You can go on and on about the office and he’s got to mean it when he says he don’t mind hearing about it, cause you mean it when you say it back to him, right?

I love the like sincerity but also subtle self-interest in here bc i fully do this too of like if someone’s really passionate about something or really into something that i’m not into or have no frame of reference for or just generally don’t really even care about, i will humor someone, like listen to them so attentively, ask follow up questions, make observations, etc., not out of the goodness of my heart, but bc i know there’s absolutely gonna be some shit i’m nerding out about that’s of no consequence to them, they’re entirely uninterested in, have no idea tf i’m even saying and yes, it’s usually physics related SKSKKS but bc i’ve put in the time and effort to entertain whatever dumb thing they were on about that week, i can be on my shit about whatever dumb thing i’m into this week SKSKSKSKSKk

“You’ve got this thing,” he said one time, “this thing about you that makes me feel like I’ve slept a whole week just from being here.” And you said, “That’s those new coffee beans I got,” pointing to the ‘I heart Chicago’ mug he was cradling. “I’m serious.” But you were too. “No one’s ever thought I’m anything but real tiring,” you said.

STOOPPPPPPP THIS ENTIRE FUCKING EXCHANGE, I COULD TALK ABOUT FOR 40000 YEARS, I AM POSITIVELY DERANGED WITH ADORATION AND LOVE FOR THIS KSDKFJS like first off “makes me feel like i’ve slept a whole week from being here” is not only one of the sweetest, most heartwearming, romantic, and downright sentimental see i was right in my dannyfic that he a sentimental mf but only to certain ppl things to say but it’s also like such an interesting thing for how it sets up Lips’ response, the like, “No one’s ever thought I’m anything but real tiring,” okayokayokay everyone shut up for a second bc there are very few things that make me feel so seen in a fic, but a character that’s like kind of A Lot, like fast talking, fast moving, fast thinking, always at 10000, constantly buzzing with energy and knows they’re a lot so tries to like lessen the burden of being “Too Much” for other people, GODDFSKJLDKFJS I JUST– it’s just such a thing I’ve felt my whoel life cause this might come as a surprise, like i'm not sure if you could tell by these screamblogs, but I, myself, have been told that I’m an exhausting person to be around on more than one occasion by more than one person and when you’re someone who has that kind of personality, you do try to hold back or make yourself as small as possible so as not to overwhelm or wear down the ppl around you. it abs is a thing and you just captured it so beautifully here, and then the fact that Johnny doesn’t mind it, and finds it to be almost like a recharge just makes me love this man even more than I thought physically/mentally/emotionally possible like ughsdfjkslfja;lIMEAN MAKES ME FEEL LIKE I’VE SLEPT A WHOLE WEEK JUST FROMBEINGHEREREEREEEEEEE;ALKJSD;FAKLJSD;FLKJDSKSJDFKJDKLFJA

… it really seems like he's telling the truth. You’re winning out over coffee and a night in bed, somehow.

Bc a man who finds your passion and zest for life galvanizing and not exhausting is a Grown Fucking Adult

But he comes by so often, it ends up coming out of him in one conversation or another, and before you know, it’s been a while. A real note-worthy type of while. And Johnny Davis has kinda sorta become your Johnny, as much as you’ve become his, in a lazy porch step kind of way. And you feel like you know him almost. Like he’ll stick around, and you will too.

The way i’m reading this all pikachuwu one on hand, and simultaneously on the other hand, I’m chewing my fingernails down to my knuckles bc like just knowing you, there’s gonna be something imminent that’s going to paralyze, nay, pulverize me completelysk to the point that I’ll need to be scraped off the sidewalk like 7 week old gum that’s so old it’s turned that gross, greyish-black color and has a texture and consistency closer to cement than the gum it once was, like this is me rn waiting for the inevitable moment where it all falls apart bc I JUST SKDJFKSJFDFUCKIGN KNOW IT’S GONNA HAPPEN BC WE CAN NEVER HAVE NICE THINGS AND I ALREADY HATE YOU AND BLAME YOU IN ADVANCE EVEN THO LITERALLY NOTHING BAD HAS HAPPENED YETKSJKDJF

Mrs Saccone don’t even bother knocking no more, cause his bike’s cutting up the quiet more often than it’s not, and you reckon she got all tired of lifting up the broom like that. Or she got over it, you know, like she realised he ain’t the trouble she thought he was.

I’ve known a couple few mrs saccone’s in my day, guarantee you it’s door #1 bc a woman this bitter and nosy never willingly gives up a grudge cause she’s like reevaluated the snap judgements that she’s made of ppl SKSKSK like this kind of blind prejudice and bitterness is how some ppl live so long SKSKJ its more likely she’s just ancient and tired of shaking her fist at Johnny from her front porch KEKW

These days, you’re on the back of that thing like you know how to drive one yourself.

Idk how many more times i can repeat myself before this just becomes the most monotonous screamblog of all time but i can’t fucking help but point out THESE FUCKING BANGERRRRSSSSSSSS OF LINES YOU’RE OUT HERE DROPPING LEFT AND RIGHT ALSO ASKING AGAIN, FOR A FRIEND, ARE YOU SUUUUURRRE???? YOU’RE NOT AN UNDERCOVER AMERICAN???????? ARE YOU SURE BC NGL I’M BEGINNNING TO DOUBT THE LEGITIMACY OF YOUR ALLEGED BRITISH-NESS

Before you got the hang of it, he said he was always thinking you might come flying off one day, right up over his shoulder onto the concrete. You told him, you never knew that was a thing that could happen in the first place, but it was too late to be nervous about it by then cause you were already used to it, you know? So he got lucky with that one. Any earlier and you’d’ve said you’re not going no where fuckin near that thing, whether he was romancing you, or not.

PFFFFFFFTSKDFJSKJ not Lips somehow being fully unaware of the dangers of riding a motorcycle despite having now been on the back of one like 4000x which is arguably should be more anxiety inducing bc you’re not in control like have you ever been in the passenger’s seat and the driver is like making unsignaled lane changes and not checking their blind spot, breaking too late for your personal comfort y’know, shit like that. Imagine that but on two wheels instead of four Like my ex had a motorcycle for about 5mins and I rode on the back of that thing once and knew instantaneously the potential of like being full hamburger meat on the asphalt and we didn’t even go on the freakingskdjfksj highway

All the way out of town, and then some, right into the crap that lies in the dirt between home and the next one over.

Once again revoking your brit card, you are officially an honorary american now with this and my sincerest ondolences to you for it but what else am i supposed to do here when you’ve captured this very distinct regional accent so superbly, tell me, what am i to do

And you know why he’s done it, cause one of the storefronts has a big stack of grocery looking crates sitting outside of it, and everything else that might suggest it’s a place that’s selling bread, but you can tell it’s closed before he even puts the brakes on … And when you go back to Johnny, he seems real sorry about it. Like he could’a known.

PFFSKSJDKFJSKJSKKSKSKSKSJOHNNNYYYYYYY MY LOVE OML MY GOOD MANNNNSKDFJSK, homie needs like a couple cups of coffee or maybe some bennies aka trucker speed bc our babyboi is quite literally asleep at the wheel or might as well be skjskk maybe he and Lips should trade personalities for the day so he’s at least still paying attention whilst operating actual heavy machineryskdjfsk

There’s this sandwich place by your work, which you like more than any other sandwich place you’ve ever been to, and you never really have any excuse to go there, so in a way this is a blessing, you know. No bread, what a shame. Bologna and extra cheese please.

Idk what it is about this and like as if i could be any more endeared to Lips but apparently I can but there’s something so likable about their response to this bc tbh i think i would’ve been pretty salty about it myself and i like to think of myself as a generally easy-going, flexible person but like if i told you i needed bread and you drive me around for 3hrs going exactly nowhere beforehand so that we miss the store before it closes like could we not have acquired the bread and then taken the aimless 3hr joyride after we got said bread? It’s fine and i feel like it says a lot that their general mindset around when things don’t shake out how they’re expecting or things don’t go their way is to look for the little victories in the thing. it reminded me of the very beginning of pt 1 the whole “But what can you do? It’s in there, or out here, and you’re not in the shoes for walking, never mind running, so it’s not much of a choice at all.” Like it’s making me very

This forsure the 70th time I’ve used this ^ in the last week

about what they might’ve gone through that might’ve informed that POV. Let’s just say my eyes and ears are open and i am Ready for The Lore

“Did something happen today?” you ask him, cause no matter how he tries to fix his face, it never looks right. Looks like his mind's somewhere three miles behind you in the road still …

It’s so funny bc i feel like you’ve managed to capture something really interesting and seemingly contradictory about Johnny in the sense that he doesn’t say very much, which can make him a hard person to get to know unless you’re Benny and you understand the terse, cigarette-smoke-laden, caveman-like grumbles of a Chicago man in his 40s bc you, as a Chicago man in his 30s(?), incidentally communicate in the same terse, cigarette-smoke-laden, caveman-like grumbles like when you talk to Johnny, you could be saying a lot and getting nothing at all from him even if he seems to be enjoying the one-sided conversation sksksksk but at the same time, Johnny is not entirely inscrutable. He’s not even as inscrutable as Benny, who’s guardedness and quietude and we’ve talked about this before is not as affected as it is for Johnny. It’s a defense mechanism, sure, but it’s more instinctual and less practiced than Johnny, so to a certain extent, you kinda know what Johnny’s feeling or thinking just by the look on his face without him having to say anything. But bc he’s not always in a sharing mood skjsk you don’t always know the why of the thing. Which seems like two things that shouldn’t work in concert but they do and I think you’ve picked up on that and portrayed it very well here

Which is a long time for anything to be sitting on it, and you saw him two days ago, but he looked fine and said nothin about it then. So he’s either lying, or real good at hiding things, until he can’t hide them no more.

Yeah, so going off my prior point, it’s very like …. There’s always going to be a “until he can’t hide it no more,” he’s not somebody who I think could hold something in that’s really eatin at him for too long. Doesn’t change the fact that you literally have to dig it out of him like you're fuckinnnskdj deep ocean mining for sea salt SKFJSK

“Wanna talk about it in a way that’s not really talking about it?” He puffs a big breath out of his nose, then his head goes back and away like you’re bothering him, or something. “Come on,” he says. “No is no, you know how it is.” But sometimes how it is and how it should be aren’t really working out, you know, and today you’re feeling like reminding him of that.

OKAYOKAYOKAYOKAYOKAYNOEVERYONESITDOWNANDSHUTUPBCWENEEDTOTALKABOUTTHISUNTILIMONMYACTUALDEATHBED the “wanna talk about it in a way that’s not really talking about it,” is not only an abs inspired and genius piece of writing but it’s so obvious how well you know.👏🏽 this.👏🏽 man.👏🏽 Bc like that is so the approach you have ot take with someone who’s as emotionally constipated as these club guys aresksksk like get them to do the thing aka talk about their feelings without calling it the thing aka talking about their feelings SKSKKS you gotta couch it in some other euphemistic language so they don’t feel like a feral alley cat backed into a corner fighting for their lives sdkfjsks like it’s almost like you have to conversationally trap them in a net without them realizing it. also livelaughloving the “sometimes how it is and how it should be aren’t really working out” self-advocacy there at the end bc I feel like it’s crazy well-adjusted and you so rarely see that in fanfic. Liek I think a healthy relationship can still be super compelling and have conflict but i feel like the tendency is to lean to more drama, which is fine but it’s just a nice change of pace, somethin you don’t really see

“You know you don’t always have to keep me in one hand, and club stuff in the other,” you say. Which is what this is really all about, if he felt like saying so. “I can mix with anythin and anyone, Johnny.”

The fact that Lips can already read him like a book sksksjdkj is sending me. Like it’s very satisfying, the interpersonal competency, and it’s also very like “okay, johnny, can we do better so they’re not always to the emotional labor” fuckin’ men SKSKSKSK

His face pinches a little like he might’ve stood on something sharp. “You don’t even know what you’re asking for.” “Oh, like you and Brucie are running some big scary gang or something. Come on, Johnny.”

UGHGHGHGHSDLFJHK;ALSKJDF;AKJSD;JTHE WAY I CLUTCHED MY CHEST JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW THE MOVIE ENDS like that shot of The Kid and his two cronies gunning down those three guys and they just like drop in a line flashed through my head reading this which both brilliant and rude asf of you

“It’s not…it’s just things you got no interest in, you know. Stuff you don’t wanna waste your time on.” “How’d you reach that conclusion?” His chin flicks up. “Well, look at you." “What? I need to buy a leather jacket first?” When he laughs, you can tell that he wishes he didn’t, but he can’t help it as much as you can’t stop your mouth from saying the things it does sometimes.

NOOSKDFJSKSKJIMCACCCCKLING bc you know for a fucking fact Lips is gonna be rocking on of those B&W embroidered club shirts the ones everyone wore to brucie’s funeral in no time

Cause you and her got a real sweet understanding lately, one that means you don’t ask her why, just as long as she don’t make you feel bad for not wanting to do what she wants anymore. Best sort of deal you two have ever come up with.

GODSLDKFJSLDFJA;LKSJDF;OKAYAYYYYYYYYHEREEEEWE GO bc this goes back to my earlier point of the thing with them being so flexible and like not even just willing to look at the positive, cause it’s not like delusionally putting a positive spin bc you can’t look at the negative, but more like trying to find the little win to get thru the tough thing or inconvenience they need to get thru and I feel like i just ripped open my 7th willy wonka chocolate bar and found the goldeennnnnn ticket bc even if we don’t get a ton more detail on Lips’ personal life, it’s a little peek behind the curtain of like how did this individual come to be the way they are which is aces character development yessuh🙂‍↕️

“I’m thinkin, you’re gonna take a look at one of those guys and realise you picked the wrong one,” he says. “Ugliest one you could’ve,” he says.

JOHNNYYYYYYYYSDFKLSJ;LANOOOOOAOSDJIF;ALKSJDSDFJKSJDKKSKSKSKSKKSSKSKSKJKOHI AM LARRRRRRRRRFFFFING SO MUCH BC MY DUDE, HAVE YOU AFIXÉD YOUR EYEBALLS UPON THY UNNOBLE ZIPCO, FUNNY SONNY, I MEANSKJFSKJD HALF THESE GUYS LOOK LIKET THEY GOT FREAKIN SCURVY SDFKJSKD HALF THESE GUYS LOOK LIKE THEIR ONE CAVITY AWAY FROM LOSING ALL THEIR TEETHSKDFJSKDJ HALF THESE GUYS LOOK LIKE THEY PROBABLY STINK SO MUCH OF STALE BEER AND CIGARETTES, IF YOU EXTRACTED THE ODOR FROM THE AIR, YOU COULD SELLIT AS THE NEXT FLAVOR OF FEBREEZE N CALL IT “CHICAGO'S RAWEST OF DOGS” LIKE I KNOW ITS A JOKE to deflect from the obvious fear of Lips meeting his malewife BUT GODSLKDJFS THIS SHIT SENT ME IN A NEW WAY

Which is a load of hot, steaming horse crap. So you laugh, and he’s looking at you that way he does when he gets you to throw your head back like that.

Not this bein the most insane and visionary example of “show don’t tell” that i can think of in recent memory and i may or not be having a full-fledged bonafide conniption, beset by both rage and raptures at the fact that i didn’t come up with it myself wyou don't even know how much ihateyou

“Johnny,” you say. “Benny,” he says back. “That’s what it is,” he says, “I don’t want you meeting him.” Suddenly this guy's a real comic, who knew? You prod a finger into the meat of his shoulder, scoffing at him. “I took you for a lot of things, Johnny, but I never took you for a man who’s gonna worry about losing out to someone like that. Benny or no Benny.”

GOOOOOOOORRORRRLRLRSKDJFLSKJDFLET ME DO TEEEEELLLLLL YOU THE WAY I SAT FORWARD AND NEARLY THREW MY PHONE LIKE A HOT POTATO THE SECOND HE DROPPED THAT “Benny” BC I WAS NOT EXPECTING HIM TO FOLD THAT FAST SKDFJSKDFJ but also i like that he did bc i think it’s a testament to how much emotional and psychological safety he feels with Lips like I feel like that’s kinda a huge deal that he told them

At that, he kisses you in a way that feels like a reward, though you can’t figure out which one of you’s is winning.

I can’t even– no dude, im’ like actually tired of how many times you’ve dropped these inspired little one-liners to the point i’ve like rolled out my sleeping bag, put my little night cap on, turned off the light, and am now honk-shoo-mimimimimi-snoring so much that it’s making the little ball on my cap float upanddown upanddown like so

not me being unable to find a satisfactory gif to illustrate the aforementioned honk-shoo-mimimimi so just going with spongebob bc it always somehow applies

“Even if it’s the ugliest thing in the world,” you say. “M’tired of only getting half of you.”

Please see prior entry into the hall of grievances accolades bc write more of the same shit i’ve been saying this whole time, i cannotttttt i tell you

On the way home, he’s even telling you which ones of them you’ll like, which ones you’ll not like so much, and which ones you don’t need to bother getting to know at all—and you figure that means they’re a real extreme version of one of those other two categories, so you listen real close to that part.

AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWHYYYYYY IS THIS THE MOST FUCKSIGNSLKDFJA;LKSDJF;LASKJDF ADORABLE, PRECIOUS, SWEETBBANGEL THING OF ALL TIME TO ME like he’s basically doing what we all do on this hellsite with each other where we just chisme about our fav characters from movies and tv shows and if someone hasn’t seen a movie or show, you kinda prep them like “oh you’re gonna LOVE [insert plot point, character arc here] but this other [insert plot point, character arc here] is gonna drive you fuckin bonkers." Like he’s essentially filling them in on his fav show that they’re about towatch for the first time SKSKS

Johnny’s gotta be there for all of it, of course—and you’ve just fixed yourself to the back of him like one of those old reliable saddlebags of his—so you gotta be there too. And, well, you’re really sort of excited about it.

OHHYOUUUU– NOT THE SADDLEBAGS METAPHOR IMEANNNNSKDJLFAKAGOOOOOOOFUCKYOURSELFYOUBEAUTIFULHORRIFYINGOFFENSIVEINSULTINGGENIUS I feel like the best way to convey and illustrate the depth of both my adoration and horror at this masterpiece of a fic you’re on is just to leave this here, bc this is my face rn, coming at you live, in real time

white room - pt.4

johnny davis x gn!reader, 18+, canon typical themes and language, 3.9k words, 4 of ? ao3 link | previous part a/n: thankyou for all the comments so far, it's really keeping this whole thing alive <3 <3 (gif credit to @hausofmamadas ! )

After that, the dates don’t feel like dates no more. Sorta feels like you’re just a part of it, part of him, part of the day and the routine, you know? Which you like as much as you don’t, cause seeing him so much is real nice—and it’s nearly every day sometimes. But you’d still like to go out and do things together too, nice things, the way people do when they’re still trying to win each other.

How it’s working now, is Johnny’ll show up some time—meaning after work, or after dinner, or after it’s gone dark and you shouldn’t be accepting visitors at all, but you do, cause it’s only him, you know—without the least bit of warning, and he’ll ask if you wanna go someplace. And someplace is either that bar you and him have sorta made into your bar, from that one night that time, or sometimes someplace is everyplace, cause he likes just riding round with you. Likes cutting through the night with you on the back. And you gotta say, those one’s are nice ones, cause it lets you shut everything off, which you figure is the same thing he likes about it.

But if you’re really honest, most times, you don’t even get off the front porch.

He comes over just to sit right there with you, like it’s the most normal thing in the world. Like he pays part of the upkeep or something. Some days it’s like maybe a few minutes, other days, it’s closer to a couple hours. Always with no requests, no offers, just, "You got a minute?" And you say, "yeah, for you I got ten," cause, well, you’re kinda starting to feel like need it. Like you’d sleep funny if you didn’t get to see him, even just for a little while.

What you think it is, cause it happens so often, and real routine, you know, every Tuesday and Thursday and Sunday, you’re thinking he’s stopping by before going to one of them club meetings. Comes over just to see you, cause he knows he’s got no time for nothin else, so it’ll have to do. And believe it or not, sometimes he’s even got a couple of guys with him, but they carry on while he’s parking up, not waving bye to him or nothin, so it makes no difference really.

Then Johnny gets off, and takes a coffee when you offer it to him, and sits on the step when you got a perfectly good bench on the porch, and you sit right there next to him. Just talking and stuff. Saying lots without really saying much; small talk that’s a little sweet and a little boring, too. How’s your day, you know, what you been up to.

Funny enough, more often than not, his days are just as boring as yours are. Just bikes and trucks and roads with nothing much else on them. Occasionally, he’ll have a little sort of gossip on someone, like Corky pissing Wahoo off about something, but by the time you see him next, they’ve already gone right back to being best buddies, and Johnny’s got nothin more to say about it.

When he’s done talking, he sets the empty mug down and says, see ya, Lips, and then sometimes he kisses you, and sometimes he don’t, and you watch him ride off like he’s already got you down with a mortgage and a ring and everything else that would have a person waving him off like that. You don’t mind so much. About the kisses, or the little talks you guys have. It’s just like stopping for gas, you figure. He’s only there to fill himself up before he goes back into that wolf den, and if it’s you he’s filling up on, well, that’s more of a compliment than anything else he’s ever said to you.

“You’ve got this thing,” he said one time, “this thing about you that makes me feel like I’ve slept a whole week just from being here.”

And you said, “That’s those new coffee beans I got,” pointing to the ‘I heart Chicago’ mug he was cradling.

“I’m serious.”

But you were too. “No one’s ever thought I’m anything but real tiring,” you said.

“They tell you that?”

“In some way or another.”

“Well, they’re wrong, alright? S’not like that for me.”

Feels crazy to say so, but from the look of him when he arrives, and the look of him when he gets back on that bike to leave again, then sure, it really seems like he's telling the truth. You’re winning out over coffee and a night in bed, somehow.

Before you can even notice it, a whole month goes by, and it’s all cause of Johnny.

His little porch-side pit stops make one day go flying on into the next, and the next, and so on, and stuff. Then all of a sudden, you’re telling him about the signet ring that was your Pop's—so that’s why you wear it on your thumb like that—and telling him about the year you worked in Minnesota—cause that's where your grandparents lived—and you sort of do kinda tell him about Mom, but not really. Cause that would tire him out, no matter how flattering he’s trying to be.

Somewhere in that month he starts saying things about his kids, and Betty too, that you never really thought he’d ever say to you—cause why would he, you know? There's somethings even you wouldn’t ask about. But he comes by so often, it ends up coming out of him in one conversation or another, and before you know, it’s been a while. A real note-worthy type of while. And Johnny Davis has kinda sorta become your Johnny, as much as you’ve become his, in a lazy porch step kind of way. And you feel like you know him almost. Like he’ll stick around, and you will too.

There he comes again now, see, turning down your street right as you put the coffee pot on. You don’t drink it after work, or ever really, but he does. For the meetings, like you said. So it works better to have it ready for him. Mrs Saccone don’t even bother knocking no more, cause his bike’s cutting up the quiet more often than it’s not, and you reckon she got all tired of lifting up the broom like that. Or she got over it, you know, like she realised he ain’t the trouble she thought he was.

Johnny says it’s cause he saw her once and said hello, all polite and charming, so now she likes him. Yeah. Sure, you said, couldn’t be that she’s eighty something, you know, and can only bang a broom on a wall so much. Plus, she don’t like anyone that ain’t related to her, but, eh, if Johnny wants to think he’s wooed her then it’s whatever. Both of them are fine about it, or at least not causing some sort of neighbourhood war for you, so who cares?

“Hey Johnny.”

You’re already out waiting for him by the time he’s outside, cause you hear the engine long before you can see him, and he pulls up over the driveway that never gets any use no more. He don’t shut the bike off like he usually does, though. Just sits there with it running under him, feet flat either side of it.

He nods at you greeting him, then says, “Wanna go for a ride?”

So it’s one of those days. A Wednesday, you remember.

“Where to?”

He shrugs, and he looks real tired today, now that you’re looking at him proper. His eyebrows all low and lazy over his eyes. “Nowhere,” he says.

Well, that’s good enough for you. “Alright,” you tell him, “as long as nowhere leads somewhere that sells some bread. I’m all out.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Gimme a sec.”

These days, you’re on the back of that thing like you know how to drive one yourself. So quick and professional about it, Johnny don’t even have to help you up no more. Just trusts that you can climb on and off all by yourself, and that you know when to lean and squeeze your knees, and all that other riding stuff too. Which you figure must be nice for him now, cause it means he don’t gotta worry about anything other than the road.

Tonight, you’re going for miles before Johnny shows any real sign of stopping. All the way out of town, and then some, right into the crap that lies in the dirt between home and the next one over. When he does, the sun’s only barely clinging on over the top of the horizon, which must be why he’s picking now to pull over someplace, cause if he waits too long it’ll be dark, and cold. Though, you never notice the cold when you’re out riding no more, not like you did that first time, cause when you’re wrapped right up in the warm of him that’s all you can focus on. But he’s forgotten his gloves today, and his hands will sure complain about that once the sun's gone.

He’s picked some little row of storefronts that you’ve never seen before, rolling into the lot with his bike in neutral. Not firing or purring or anything, just cruising in, real slow, with one hand on the bars and the other on his thigh.

And you know why he’s done it, cause one of the storefronts has a big stack of grocery looking crates sitting outside of it, and everything else that might suggest it’s a place that’s selling bread, but you can tell it’s closed before he even puts the brakes on. Lights off, blinds down. You get off and have a look through the window just in case, like the guy might be in there behind the counter still, but nope. It’s as empty as it looks.

And when you go back to Johnny, he seems real sorry about it. Like he could’a known.

He’s got his bike parked up and quiet now. Got it standing slanted on that little stand that don’t look like it can really hold the weight of the thing, let alone that and Johnny, who’s leaning against the lean of it, too. Two big hunks of stuff on one little arm.

“Guess I’m not taking lunch tomorrow,” you tell him. Which you regret as soon as you do, cause then he looks like he feels even worse about it, wincing a little, and you were only saying something just to say it.

“I might have some at my place,” he says, more like an apology than a real offer of anything. “I guess we could stop by on the way back.”

You wave him off. “Don’t worry about it.”

“We gotta think of some other place to go now,” you say, messing with the loose thread in your jacket pockets, while Johnny messes with the cigarette he’s not bothering to light yet.

Probably planned on smoking it while you were in there shopping. Now he’s just tapping the end of it on his thigh, then flicking it round, and tapping with that end too. Which is a little more fidgety than he usually is, now that you’re thinking about it.

“Did something happen today?” you ask him, cause no matter how he tries to fix his face, it never looks right. Looks like his mind's somewhere three miles behind you in the road still, and with the tapping, and the tiredness. Yeah, you don’t need to be one of those brain doctor guys to work it out. You don’t even need to know him the way you do. Any Joe could look at him and think something was up, some way or another.

“Something like what?” he says.

You wait some more. You’re not feeling like knocking around the bush about it.

“S’okay,” he goes on. “Just somethin’, some trouble the other day. Last week. Still sitting on my mind a little, is all.”

He shakes his head.

“Wanna talk about it in a way that’s not really talking about it?”

He puffs a big breath out of his nose, then his head goes back and away like you’re bothering him, or something. “Come on,” he says. “No is no, you know how it is.”

But sometimes how it is and how it should be aren’t really working out, you know, and today you’re feeling like reminding him of that.

You move forward until you’re standing right in front of him, and cause he’s sitting and leaning the way he is, that means he’s looking up at you now. And with his legs crossed at the ankles the way they are, they’re going straight between your knees like some big lazy bean pole. Which you figure puts him right where you want him.

“I know that.” He rubs a palm down over his face, then shrugs and says, “But I don’t want you mixing with it.”

“Why not?”

“Cause it’s not—you don’t need all that.”

“I think I do.” Cause he is all of that, not just cause he’s club president, but because he’s Johnny, and the club, the guys, it’s all a part of him—and yeah, sure, you’re really starting to need him, alright, which means needing all of that, too. “I can handle it.”

His face pinches a little like he might’ve stood on something sharp. “You don’t even know what you’re asking for.”

“Oh, like you and Brucie are running some big scary gang or something. Come on, Johnny.”

You’ve not met Brucie yet, not properly, but from what Johnny says, he’s as normal as anyone. An electrician that helps him count dues and wire up telephones. Johnny’s right hand and best friend, it’s cute, yeah, and no different from anyone else they run about with. Whatever he’s painting to try and scare you off, you’re not buying it. You might’ve in that pizza place that one time, but now?

He sighs, looking even more tired than he was when you started pecking at him. “It’s not…it’s just things you got no interest in, you know. Stuff you don’t wanna waste your time on.”

“How’d you reach that conclusion?”

His chin flicks up. “Well, look at you."

And you do, you look down your front and your jeans and the boots you never wore until you started riding with him. “What? I need to buy a leather jacket first?”

When he laughs, you can tell that he wishes he didn’t, but he can’t help it as much as you can’t stop your mouth from saying the things it does sometimes.

“You know, my mom’s on some crazy pilgrimage right now,” you say.

Then Johnny does what anyone would do and says, “What?” like you started speaking a different language mid-sentence.

“Yeah, said she was going to San Francisco for a little while, to see some guy and learn some yoga, or something. But now she’s in Europe, trying to be one of them, I don’t know, sort of spiritual guide people, and going place to place looking for something she can’t even explain to me.” You clear your throat from the little frog in it. “Which isn’t the point,” you say.

His head shakes like he’s lost. “What is the point?” he asks, impatient in a kinda charming, sort of irritating way.

“The point is, she’s a funny sort of person, and before she was doing all that, when I was a kid, you know, she was always moving us about and stuff. Always dragging me along with her when I was too small to be doing things like that.” You fold your arms and Johnny don’t say nothin, so you carry on a little. “We were going all over the country, near enough, and staying with all sorts of people that I never saw more than once.”

He frowns. “What for?”

“You’d have to ask her that yourself.” Cause you and her got a real sweet understanding lately, one that means you don’t ask her why, just as long as she don’t make you feel bad for not wanting to do what she wants anymore. Best sort of deal you two have ever come up with. “All I’m saying is, I saw some real weird shit before I even learned how to read eight letter words. And I bet you not one thing about that club of yours would surprise me. Or scare me, or whatever it is.”

He nods slow like he’s thinking about it. Which you figure is him being nice, cause he’s probably only nodding to buy him time to work out what to say when a person says something like that, admitting something personal that no-one likes hinting at, you know. Like Moms not being very good moms when they ought to have been. Like kids not getting to be kids, and stuff.

“See, I’m not worried about that part,” he says.

Well. That sweeps you right off your feet almost, cause you figured that was his whole deal. “You’re not?”

One of his hand wanders up your leg til it’s sitting on your hip, with his thumb through the belt loop there. “I’m thinkin, you’re gonna take a look at one of those guys and realise you picked the wrong one,” he says. “Ugliest one you could’ve,” he says.

Which is a load of hot, steaming horse crap. So you laugh, and he’s looking at you that way he does when he gets you to throw your head back like that.

“Don’t do that when I’m being serious,” you tell him, trying to stop yourself from smiling, but not really stopping at all.

“Who’s not being serious?”

“What is it really?”

“Just what I said,” he insists. But he’s smirking in his eyes so you know that he’s lying.

“Johnny,” you say.

“Benny,” he says back.

You stop. “What?”

“That’s what it is,” he says, “I don’t want you meeting him.”

Suddenly this guy's a real comic, who knew? You prod a finger into the meat of his shoulder, scoffing at him. “I took you for a lot of things, Johnny, but I never took you for a man who’s gonna worry about losing out to someone like that. Benny or no Benny.”

That hand on your hip squeezes you a little, and pulls you in closer than you already are. “Yeah?” he says, smiling cause you’re feeding his ego now, and you don’t mind one bit about doing it.

“None of those guys are even my sort,” you tell him. “Wouldn’t pay them no mind, even if you never existed.”

At that, he kisses you in a way that feels like a reward, though you can’t figure out which one of you’s is winning. It’s all short and sweet and soft against those lips of his, and just when you're thinking like he might take it somewhere further, cause his hand’s sliding round to the back of you, he pulls away and looks right into your eyes. And you’re so close together, you’re sorta going cross-eyed to look back at him.

“You really wanna get involved?” he asks.

“Yeah, I really do.”

“Even if it’s not pretty, or whatever?”

“Even if it’s the ugliest thing in the world,” you say. “M’tired of only getting half of you.”

He nods, and it’s so slight you wouldn’t have even noticed if his chin didn’t budge against yours, stubble scratchy and forgiven for it. “Alright, then.”

You lean back to put some air and sense between the two of you. “Really?

“If it’s what you want,” he says, like it was always that easy.

Yeah, it’s what you want, you tell him, in a sort of a way. In a kind that has that little bike stand screaming for help kinda way. Kissing him so much, he don’t know whether to push you back, or lie down on that seat and let it all happen.

And then that’s that, you guess, flood gates lifted. You get to know about club stuff, as long as Johnny don’t mind you knowing, and he don’t seem so reluctant to have them meeting you no more. On the way home, he’s even telling you which ones of them you’ll like, which ones you’ll not like so much, and which ones you don’t need to bother getting to know at all—and you figure that means they’re a real extreme version of one of those other two categories, so you listen real close to that part.

You don’t ever find out what was getting him looking tired that way, not really, but he does say they’re opening a new chapter now, after some debating about it. Which sounds like something that’d be a real headache to sort out, so you figure that must’a been it.

It’s also how you find yourself invited to one of those picnics of theirs, whatever that means. The first one where this chapter and Milwaukee’s chapter are all getting together, a real big one, apparently. So naturally you says you wanna go and Johnny says alright. Alright, you know.

Pick you up early next Saturday, he says, cause apparently you gotta ride for a while, and these things go from when the first bike arrives til the last one leaves again. Johnny’s gotta be there for all of it, of course—and you’ve just fixed yourself to the back of him like one of those old reliable saddlebags of his—so you gotta be there too. And, well, you’re really sort of excited about it.

~~~~~~~~~~

taglist: @garbinge @drabbles-mc @raven-black102 @lyralu91 @hoodeddreams13 @businesscalamity

#screamblog #bikeriders #johnny x reader #johnny davis

97 notes · View notes

cattles-bians · 4 years ago

Text

damie vibecca exes au part 8

post directory

obsetress: now i just want fanart of damvibecca at the gym

em: well. pitch it to me comrade ghostfucker

obsetress: idk that's about as far as i got i just reread that bit about vibecca in their matching gym outfits and my brain got stuck

em: hypothetically do u have a colour palette in mind bc i associate gym outfits w like. bright loud colours and

em: idk if it works w our earth sign queens

[em note: emily is a liar and did NOT draw fanart of damvibecca at the gym]

[em note 2: we have the gym art now [x] [x]]

obsetress: i was imagining like charcoals tbh, or jewel tones

obsetress: i could see them in like jewel tone purples or that jewel tone blue green color

obsetress: yeah viola jewel tones or blacks n charcoals

obsetress: becs pastels and camels but jewel tones at the gym

em: it’s about Matching

em: And Destroying Ur Ex (platonically)

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: viola's feeling particularly smug about it but then

obsetress: dani's in an old school tshirt and shorts and jamie's in............ one of dani's old school tshirts and shorts

em: YES

obsetress: not intentionally, she just grabbed whatever was there

obsetress: dani chirps "oh you two look so cute! baby look, they have a matched set"

obsetress: viola arches an eyebrow "and so do you, it seems" and dani laughs "not on purpose, jamie just grabbed whatever was on top in the drawer"

viola: you two... share... a wardrobe?

dani: yeah?

em: god cute

obsetress: cute n dumb

em: they can share nearly everything except pants

em: well. pants as a treat

em: haha pants

em: trousers

obsetress: also rly nice rly clean smooth funny juxtaposition in my brain of vibecca being the ones who intentionally match and damie the ones for whom it just accidentally happens

obsetress: hahahah pants

obsetress: they can share pants but................ should they

em: idk miss chapter 12 danis thighs jamies pyjamas

em: should they

obsetress: PLEASE

obsetress: that's exactly what i was referring to THANKS

obsetress: anyway

obsetress: rebecca just laughs

obsetress: viola huffs and bex is like "sorry, babe, but it is kind of funny"

em: dani jamie wearing like

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: MY THOUGHTS EXACTLY

em: poor viola

obsetress: thinking about dani's ass in those

em: yeah....

em: violas huffing until jamies exercise flush lasts a little Too Long

obsetress: big blush jamie taylor

em: she’s still like ‘oi dani close ur mouth’ but then she

obsetress: yeah

obsetress: just ogling each other

obsetress: (they briefly pause to ogle vi and rebecca passing a medicine ball back and forth as they do squats and have to acknowledge that, yeah, they've all done alright by themselves)

em: funny montage of the gang doing exercise while surreptitiously taking Peaks

obsetress: omg all i want

obsetress:sometimes having friends as a lesbian means they're all your exes except one, who's your gf, and you're all checking each other out always anyway

And That’s Beautiful

obsetress

obsetress: dani: checking out viola's biceps, rebecca's abs

viola: checking out dani's thighs n ass

rebecca: minding her business

jamie: scowling n scrawny

obsetress:(n also checking out dani's thighs n ass, viola's biceps, and begrudgingly peeking at rebecca's abs)

obsetress: every other woman at the gym: checking out jamie, trying to figure out the entire dynamic here

are they a polycule? what

em: jamie probably like

em: maybe she gets really into running bc she just checks out and listens to her audiobooks but like

em: slow twitch vs fast twitch fibers so stays scrawny

obsetress: i can see that

obsetress: just gets on the treadmill and zones tf out

em: jamie ‘why don’t i have biceps’ taylor vs jamie ‘no u gotta lift w ur hips’ taylor

obsetress: she hates it but her psych told her it'll be good for her routine so you know she was like yes ma'am every day ma'am

em: cant believe safe lifting procedures screwed her over

em: ‘yes ma’am every day ma’am’ ur just Going for it arent ya anshdjdh

obsetress: sorry but don't tell me you can't hear it

obsetress: jamie's the person who takes notes in therapy

obsetress: jamie, in the locker room after their workout: do my biceps look bigger?

dani, patiently, already knowing where this is going: bigger than what, baby?

jamie: than yesterday

dani: mm, rome wasn't built in a day, you know

jamie: do they look bigger at all?

dani: well

em: i mean not to perceive her too much but mattresses scene indicates AE/jamie like. at least some muscle in the leg area

em: poor jamie

em: not playing to her strengths

obsetress: yeah she does

obsetress: i mean ae has toned af arms

obsetress: she's just wiry

em: how could i forget the benchpressing dog gif

obsetress: dani's like "jamie, baby, come do squats with me and vi" "m'good" "baby, c'mon, you'll like it" "don't wanna do squats" "it could be good for you" "don't wanna do squats with you two"

em: dani: you gotta like. eat more

jamie: i eat plenty

dani: no u graze all day and then u don’t eat dinner

obsetress: dani: five biscuits spread out across a day doesn't count as eating more

em: dani: protein jamie it’s abt protein

obsetress: dani: you need more protein, which is why i think some lentils would really––

em: jamie thinks protein shakes are Nasty

obsetress: jamie does think protein shakes are nasty but dani will make her a smoothie and sneak it in like she's a child

obsetress: viola and rebecca, with their matching monogrammed blender bottles, just staring

obsetress: becca's like "jamie, just drink it, really, it's fine"

obsetress: viola just does this haughty sniff at her and that's what finally gets jamie to start

em: jamie can deal w being a brat but the idea of viola having Anything over her drives her Insane

em: Drives Her Fuckign Nuts

obsetress: she hates it

obsetress: just the absolute fuckin worst

em: do u think dani ever like

em: like they REALLY need to clear out storage but it’s a boiling frog situation where it’s increased so gradually that

em: like jamie thinks it’s Fine storage is Clear Enough

em: it’s Not

em: danis like. should we invite rebecca and vi over

em: just be Idea of A Snide Viola Comment fills jamie w a burning rage

obsetress: oh my god

obsetress: i'm obsessed with this

obsetress: i would read a whole oneshot about this

em: eventually dani comes clean abt it n jamie thinks it’s v funny bc yknow; open and honest communication is a v important part of their dynamic

em: jamie: next time just tell me my storage looks like shite dani or i will be grumbling abt viola for a Week

obsetress: inevitably

obsetress: when they do have to come over to clean

obsetress: dani offers them takeout and wine ("step up from pizza and beer at least," jamie grumbles) and viola's like "jesus, dani, let's just go out to dinner. my treat"

obsetress: at dinner, viola's like "if you want more storage, i have some wonderful properties––"

obsetress: rebecca's mouthing "sorry" from next to her across the table

em: every time they go out rebecca takes vi aside n is like ok sweetheart so you promise you’re not gonna try convince them to sell the apartment again

em: and violas like (mock horror) of course i won’t. ye of little faith

em: and every time

em: every time she does

em: she’s tryna HELP

obsetress: she would too she'd be like

obsetress: "i'm just trying to HELP"

obsetress: "they're our FRIENDS"

em: i’m on a mission to figure out like

em: this is way way down the line

em: but i wanna believe eventually viola and jamie start to, at the v least, Tolerate each other

em: jamie might even be fond of the crazy bird but she’ll NEVER admit it

obsetress: god like vi's on business or some shit in like

obsetress: the UAE

obsetress: negotiating some Deal

obsetress: and so dani and jamie get dinner with just bex and they're driving home after and having a perfectly mundane conversation and then jamie's just blurting like

obsetress: "i think i miss vi"

em: she’s HORRIFIED

em: she tries to play it off as like um

em: she’s Too Comfortable

em: things are Too Boring

em: which is weird knowing everything we know abt jamie

em: but actually she just... maybe misses viola

em: danis like god i wish i was recording this

obsetress: jamie's passed out next to her at home later (it's ten pm) and dani's chattering happily away on the phone with vi (drinking a martini in her dubai hotel room at one am since, y'know, no bars) in bed right next to her

obsetress: "jamie, uh, said she misses you. i know. no, i KNOW. don't tell her i told you. yeah, yeah, you win, vi, we know. uh-huh. uh-huh. i'm gonna pretend you didn't just ask me that"

em: CUTE

em: u can’t lord it over her vi it’s a little secret

em: vi's like when have i EVER

em: she does

obsetress: once they're good again, dani and vi absolutely just. lose time (there's a metaphor in there) talking to each other still

em: this is wholesome tbh

em: i really like the damie stories where like

em: look it’s nice when damie have each other but it’s also nice when they have their own friends and stuff

em: dunno how to articulate that well

em: it’s a balance! it’s a balance

obsetress: yeah! exactly

obsetress: because that's part of the love n possession thing too yk

obsetress: not to say either of them would ever be like "no friends for you" but

obsetress: wanting to have a life outside of your partner yk

obsetress: they're meeting vi and rebecca for dinner after vi gets back and vi's just grinning and sweeping jamie into a hug "i heard you missed me"

em: she gets jamie a souvenir t-shirt

em: it’s too big

em: OR

em: child’s t-shirt

obsetress: (jamie sleeps in it that night)

obsetress: oh childs might be better

obsetress: she's like "you're a little scrawny, so..."

em: jamie sleeps in it.... soft bitch

em: she feels too much

obsetress: jamie taylor softest bitch

obsetress: dani watches her pull it on and raises an eyebrow and jamie's just like "wot"

em: jamies like (grumbles) i knew she was comin back i’m just

em: shouldn’t you be HAPPY about this development dani

em: ‘s’a gift... s’rude not t’....’

obsetress: YEAH

obsetress: dani just grins "mmhm"

em: it accidentally makes its way into jamies workout clothes pile

obsetress: oh my GOD oh my god

obsetress: viola's shit eating GRIN when jamie shows up at the gym in it

em: jamies like fok

em: mental maths tryna figure if she wants to just. work out in a sports bra

em: she Doesn’t

obsetress: she Doesn't!

obsetress: (she's shy)

em: god it’s one of those shirts that’s like

em: someone who loves me went to UAE and got me this t-shirt or something

obsetress: dani corners her in their empty row in the locker room "you could've just taken it off, you know" "dunno, not everyone needs to... see that, you know?" "i'd certainly like to see it" jamie rolls her eyes but she's grinning "you can see that any time" "well maybe i wanted to see it during my workout" "dani......."

em: jamies embarrassed bc of her gnarly farmers tan means her tummy is at least five shades lighter than the rest of her

em: crisp tan lines

obsetress: god jamie's farmers tan

em: once again i am bringing my tan lines jamie agenda

obsetress: dani loves jamies dumb farmers tan so much

obsetress: she giggles

obsetress: but it's the most loving giggle possible

em: and then when she gets into running...

em: god when i was rowing there were a couple ppl w like what i called a neapolitan icecream tan which is

em: gimme a second

obsetress: jamie gets all huffy when dani giggles at her tan but then dani's like "baby, no, i think it's cute" and jamie gives her a look and dani grins mischievously and ducks her head

obsetress: and then she's licking and kissing and nipping her way along jamie's dumb tan lines

em: there it is

obsetress: it was inevitable

em: so caught up in the joy of jamies dumb farmer tans i forgot abt her gnarly scar she keeps under wraps

em: baby

em: the most baby

obsetress: baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

em: jamie decides the only way to claim the stupid t-shirt as hers is to cut off the sleeves

em: it’s abt the ritual of the thing

obsetress: she shows up at the gym wearing it and

obsetress: that's viola's "oh no she's hot" moment

em: YEAH BABY

obsetress: literally just like

obsetress: world stops

obsetress: viola stares

em: jamie finally gets to do an exercise that shows off her sinewy manual labor grip forearms

em: viola’s probably just as horrified to find jamie hot as every time jamies like oh no

em: violas hot

em: and once again jamie CANNOT know she’s hot bc she will be insufferable

em: she will be the Worst

obsetress: viola's tugging rebecca aside "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "what?" viola waves a hand and rebecca just furrows her brow a little and is like "that's just... what she looks like, vi"

obsetress: viola corners dani next "why didn't you tell me jamie was hot" "i did" "oh. right" viola pauses, then "why didn't you make sure i was listening?" dani just gives her a look and walks away

obsetress: dflksdjfldaj god the way jamie and viola are. the same

obsetress: kind of incredibly, in the same ways dani and rebecca are the same

em: “hey baby, did viola seem different today? seemed off”

em: jamies like. is she mad at me. did i break another social taboo.

em: rebecca ‘jamie looks like jamie’ jessel vs dani ‘my gf is so hot i can’t stand it’ clayton

obsetress: "i tell you how hot she is at least three times a week, vi"

em: danis tryna goad her into making the damn shirt a crop top

em: jamies like yeah but isn’t that a step too far. i feel like i am destroying this shirt too much

em: she does it anyway

em: so jamies workout clothes are danis endless grey baggy school t-shirts and this one ugly souvenir shirt that like

em: psychological warfare and she doesn’t even know it

obsetress: i would........ like to see it

obsetress: also crop top jamie is one of my favorite jamies

obsetress: she is severely underrated

em: crop top jamie is

obsetress: and we do not talk about her enough

em: jamie wear More crop tops

obsetress: viola and rebecca in bed, in matching facemasks, after going to the gym post-epiphany that Jamie Is Hot

obsetress: viola: are dani and jamie hotter than us?

rebecca: what?

obsetress: and like

obsetress: viola is NOT insecure

obsetress: she is constantly confident that she's the most attractive woman in the room at any given moment, but

obsetress: she's just so staggered by this realization

em: some neutral third party (ms grose and mr sharma probably) are like well. u guys definitely have a little more of a scary thing going on

em: i’m imagining rebecca and viola at brunch w hannah and owen v seriously discussing this

em: viola brings it up and rebecca GROANS but then she gets invested in the convo

obsetress: GOD yeah

obsetress: she's leaning forward and gesturing with her fork "when you say 'scary'..........."

em: owens like scary is a compliment

em: hannah grose sips her tea knowingly

obsetress: rebecca just narrows her eyes at hannah grose and hannah raises her eyebrows and shrugs

em: after a week or so viola bursts into a room w stupid big sunglasses and a tray of take out coffees and she’s like Don’t You Worry Jamie I Have Concluded You’re Hot But I’m Not Threatened By It

em: jamies like sorry WHAT

em: you’ve been thinking about WHAT

em: viola leaves without ever following it up

obsetress: dani is entirely unfazed

obsetress: doesn't even blink

em: danis like neat she remembered the oat milk

em: everyone in this au is insane

obsetress: any lesbian in 2021 is insane

obsetress: par for the course

em: was gonna protest but

em: Yeah

obsetress: this lesbian meme account i follow on insta is doing “stop asking who’s the top and who’s the bottom. start asking...” posts

obsetress: and one of them is “start asking who’s baby and who’s fuck around and find out” and it just makes me chuckle

obsetress: jamie taylor baby

obsetress: viola lloyd also baby

em: dani is baby passing and jamie is fuck around faking

obsetress: oh my god that’s why that’s why i think we cracked it

obsetress: dani (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: rebecca (fuck around) dated jamie (baby) and vi (baby)

obsetress: the reason they could never cross further even tho per the transitive property dani (so similar to vi) should be able to date beccs and jamie (so similar to beccs) should be able to date vi is because

obsetress: you can’t have two babies and two fuck arounds in a relationship together

em: oh of course. i see. i see

em: however in the rare rare crack ship of the ‘jamie viola hatefuck’ a similar phenomenon to ‘social anxiety mum friend ordering food’ instinct takes over and someone fucks around and finds out

em: this is just my unhinged jamie viola hatefuck bulkshit which is. it’s ironic ok it’s ironic it’s ironic it’s

em: ok one last thought bc i know it’s super late for u but

obsetress: omg i also have a last thought let’s trade

em: what if mikey is about isabels age n jamie ends up looking after him for one reason or another for a bit

em: and viola absolutely Dotes on him

obsetress: omg

obsetress: that’s what does it. jamie seeing viola w mikey

em: grumble grumble i guess she’s not that bad

em: except then she’s like god what if mikey likes her MORE than me

obsetress: “dani what if mikey gets one of those weird first crushes on vi”

obsetress: dani doesn’t even look up from the laundry “who hasn’t had a crush on vi”

obsetress: jamie’s like “mE” and dani just gives her the most withering look

em: danis like It’s Par For The Course Jamie

em: danis a teacher she’s like it happens don’t sweat it

em: anyway

em: what was. what was ur last little thought

obsetress: i was just thinking more about viola also baby and how also she’s been so privileged her whole life that sometimes there are just some things she can’t do for herself because she just doesn’t know how

obsetress: like she’s never had to learn

em: rebecca gets um

em: freeze dried coffee

em: nescafé

obsetress: but like

obsetress: rebecca genuinely loves taking care of vi for whatever reason (it’s because she loves her) when she really needs it but

obsetress: rebecca also takes no shit and is like “i’m not making the nescafé for you. you’re 36 years old, vi, you need to learn to do it for yourself”

obsetress: and she’ll stand there and watch her do it and then she makes vi do it at least three more times for posterity

obsetress: “i’ll make a plebeian of you yet, viola lloyd”

obsetress: (god only the two of them would think a line like that is funny)

#this one's fucken LONG!!!!!!!!#the dani jamie viola rebecca exes au

12 notes · View notes

hopeshoodie · 4 years ago

Text

Ok so awhile ago I got tagged in the ‘post 8 of your favorite fics you wrote from this year’ thing but I was in the Big Sad (™) so I ignored it. I’m trying to get all of the old tag posts taken care of so I can rest (and also maybe escape the Big Sad). Problem is, I don’t have 8 good fics to boast about. So instead I’ll do my 12 best posts from 2020. Cause yknow, 12 months or whatever. Not like it’s gonna be one from each month but lol

12. This was one of my most popular memes that I made, and tbh I’m pretty proud of it because it took so long combing through screenshots to get all the content.

11. Most of these are going to be my crossover posts because I like them a lot, but the islanders at Mitski songs Hits Different... Like Hope, Lucas, and Rahim are so accurate and I think of them whenever I hear the songs instead of crying about myself

10. The only fic on the list, Friends Can Only Do So Much is one of my faves that I’ve written. I just… Ugh I love angst. And I love Boah. But also just any of my Noah/Bobby posts hit different (like this Noah/Bobby edit took so long to make oml)

9. I’m a big fan of cursed content, and I think the most cursed thing I’ve done was probably shaved Gary

8. I don’t know why, but this post about alternate jobs for islanders has always been one of my favorites I have snippets of OCs that I put into this post and I just love all the additions people make and ugh. I dunno, I really like this post and always seem to come back to it. It doesn’t hurt that Rosie made a bunch of really cool OCs based off of it and I still think about them.

7. My favorite icons I’ve made, other than short haired blake because oh my GOD is the Kassam ones I made. I dunno, they just look really good. It’s probably because he’s very pretty and vaporwave aesthetics are awesome, but I think they turned out the best of all the icons I’ve made.

6. This was the first patch edit I made (I’ve got more in the drafts but this one took me so long for only like 9 slides) but I really like it. I dunno, the meme, the banter, the gay tiktok reference. It didn’t get a lot of notes here or on reddit, but it’s still one of my favorite things I’ve made. I’m currently working on a patch edit where Noah runs to MC instead of Hope and like *heart eyes*

5. I told you crossover stuff was gonna be on this list, because I hyperfixate on LITG as well as Stardew Valley and The Magnus Archives. So this SDV post and this TMA edit are some of my favorite stuff I’ve made

4. I know no one cares about S3 content, but this list isn’t my most popular posts. I loved writing this post so much. It’s the perfect balance of reading into context clues (reminds me of my superwholock days and overanalyzing everything) and headcanon and ugh. Plus it creates conflict in a season that was completely conflict free so.

3. This was my first dive into the game code and assets, and it still makes me laugh. I think this is the funniest thing I’ve ever posted, and I didn’t even write it. I should probably change my blog title at some point but oh my god. whorelicious.

2. I’m not personally attached to this post as much as any other on the list, but it felt wrong not to include. This was the first post I really made for the LITG fandom, and the reception made me so excited that I created this blog. I gotta get back to doing more headcanon/pros and cons kind of stuff like I did at the beginning, because I really created a little corner of canon for myself to thrive in for the rest of the year.

1. Moss Henrik: I don’t think yall understand how obsessed I am with this concept/fic/character. I have an entire moss!henrik expanded universe in my head where he slowly picks off/spreads to the other islanders. Will I ever write that fic? No. Doesn’t anymore care? Probably even slimmer of a chance of me writing that fic. But like something about this just sparks joy. The evening I made all these post was the happiest I’ve been in this fandom, full stop. and

Also here’s a surprise post for your consideration, happy 2021 yall.

#this sat in my drafts for so long oml im sorry #ive been feeling the V O I D #I'm gonna be posting a bunch of drafts/tag games that i've let sit because I don't want to feel guilty anymore

15 notes · View notes

defunctblogtobedeleted · 8 years ago

Text

1/14/17, 5:41am - can’t sleep

too much stuff on my mind. and a bit of a headache. I know I said I’d quit this thing, but I can’t. but as far as I’m concerned, if I’m going to cop out of that I’m at least going to swear off the kiss-and-tell braggadocio though. And tone down the negative vibe.

This aboutta be some feelgood shit up in here.

I mean not everything’s going great. To be totally honest I still have literally no idea how this financial situation is going to work out. But I’m sure it will.

But my friends have been so good to me. I love them all so much.

Need to start with the excellent gourmet kingdom dinner that I went out to with the smash fam on wednesday. Lucas, Corey, Dylan, Patricio, Clem, Jwilli, Spencer all treated me. Fuck I hope I’m not forgetting someone lmao. I know I’m forgetting like one or two mofukkas. I wasn’t going to go ofc, but since I wasn’t going to go because money was tight they offered to pay for my meal and I reluctantly accepted. [as much as i’d do it for anyone, I still feel a little bothered accepting these kinds of gifts from my friends. I don’t really feel like I can’t take care of myself or something, I just feel like I... shouldn’t. Because if I can’t plan on coming out of my own financial problems how can I plan on paying them back and how can I accept a gift in the first place then?]

Thursday I got to team with Ian, and it was some of the most fun I’ve ever had playing in tournament. We DOMINATED the winners bracket of that tournament. only lost one game and had some of the filthiest combos I’ve ever seen in my life. Just got cold waiting for grands and didn’t play as well. Was so much fun though, really made me happy to have poured so much time into practicing. Just gotta keep doing better.

After the tournament a whole ton of people came over to my place to play for the night. Can’t even get into it but it was great. in all I played from 4pm until 6am and only stopped because I got a splitting headache and felt like I was going to die finally hahahah... Probably should have gotten some dinner or somethnig lmao.

I was supposed to try to play with Kevin today, but instead I spent the day with Weilin. Him and a few people had crashed at my place, so we went on a mini road trip to take Decker back to greensboro. We spent a little time trying to get his phone fixed, spent some time trying to find me new pants, ate some delicious gyros and had a long car talk about hentai and the pursuit of happiness and financial goals and life and melee and everything, man. So glad that happened.

We met up with Arun, Arvind, Irene, and Broscious to eat at Bali Hai and do an escape room out at durham. Got a huge ass plate of meat thanks to weilin covering for me, and had a great time solving the 90′s themed puzzles with the gang. We tore it up, too. Only got stumped by a cd in a book and a madonna song hahaha. Those guys are all some smart motherfuckers, I’ll tell ya whattt. And while we waited for this safe to unlock me and Broscious got to slam down some Pogs and mostly just slap them around on a table hahahahaha. I was supposed to go to a party tonight that my old pokemon go team was throwing to celebrate Kelly turning level 40, but there was no way I was gonna pull myself away from those guys for anything. We spent a couple hours playing board games and talking/gossipping/catching up and getting cookout. Excited as fuck to do it again tomorrow.

But the real reason I’m writing this post is because Irene wanted us to do this neat little thing that was admittedly a little lame but amazingly feelgood and really made me happy. I think she called it a compliment circle, where we all had to think of at least a compliment for each other, and we took turns doing whatever the opposite of a roast is. I really don’t want to forget any of the things that they said, because it’s not often that people go out of their way to give you honest totally-for-nothing compliments, yknow? They’re not verbatim because my short term memory sucks, but I’ll do my best here.

“You’re the best.” “you have a beautiful smile and jaw structure and face and eyes and you’re just a great looking dude and if I were a chick I’d date you and if you were a chick I’d date you, and if we both were chicks I’d date you.” “it seems like you always have a lot of things messing with your life, but despite that you’re always a great person to be around. you never seem to let things get to you and you always have a smile on your face and you’re never a downer.” “you do a lot of things for your friends and the melee community and just people in general. you never really seem to expect anything in return and I don’t think that gets brought up much.” “You make me push myself to be better.” “I like your nose” (weird. broscious, you don’t read my blog, do you??) “you’ve got a really warm personality and do a really great job of including everyone when you try to talk to them and like in the puzzle room.” “You’re always there for me, even at times when nobody else was.”

goddamn, man. I don’t even care if it’s narcissistic to put those down here. I have to put them Somewhere. Literally shed a tear writing them down, I feel so good about all that shit. It really couldn’t have come at a better time with everything hitting the fan and all of my self image issues recently. Maybe they knew that.

What I didn’t think to tell them then was that it’s friends like them and everyone I hung out this week and everyone in my life that cares about me still that make my life so happy in the first place. It’s like... when I finally get to be in a room with people I know and can enjoy their company it’s like all the bullshit that exists outside just isn’t important anymore. Relaxing by talking and playing games is so fucking wonderful.

Speaking of my issues again, might as well follow up on new years goals and self improvement stuff.

Feeling much better about my teeth. Got my cavities filled (I had fucking TEN), got my teeth cleaned for the first time in years, I’ve finally got this image out of my head that my crowned tooth looks dead. Forreal, idk if it was the cleaning, or just talking to the dentist about whether they think it matches and then thinking about it, or what the deal is, but I Swear ever since I decided it wasn’t worth having my crown replaced again it’s looked better. Matches color better and more consistently, doesn’t look off balanced, I just look good. I really want to blame it on the cleaning but maybe it really was just a mental thing... Idk. I’m just happy my teeth are finally healthy, holy shit thinking about my mouth too hard the past couple years has been horrifying. Right now my gums hurt because I flossed for the first time in forever. Might be why I can’t sleep, but starting good habits.

Don’t know what’s up with my weight, haven’t been keeping track of that yet.

Have been doing Great about drinking water. Have only drank soda on a few occasions at all, back to living on powdered lemonade like I said I would. Probably should still be drinking more, but off to a great start. Still haven’t been on reddit since the new year (though I don’t think I wrote this resolution down), but still passively start to type it in the search bar sometimes. Shit’s difficult. Progress on my septum is put on hold for now, family doctor is waiting to refer me until I have a followup visit with them about my lab work. Supposedly I had “small red blood cells” so like either dehydration or anemia. Probably both lolll. Hopefully not something more serious, but who knows. Been taking a multivitamin daily. Been spending less money lmaoooo. Haven’t been cooking for myself the past few days but DID start doing that finally. Just gotta keep it up. Still no good on exercise. Still haven’t bought a pack of cigarettes. Smoking a lot of that pipe tobacco, but it definitely doesn’t make me feel cravings like cigs do. Pretty great there. Started goofing around on tinder again just to get that out of the way. Got a few matches, but I’ve been sandbagging this game really hard lol. e.g. I’ve been a lottt more picky about who I swipe, way too detailed about how nerdy I am in my profile, and not playing with it all that much tbh. I.e. doing all the things that are probably healthier dating habits but are def not anything close to how you need to play tinder to be successful from what I’ve ever experienced. That being said I’ve already partially rediscovered my hatred for it and think it’s a waste of time, but whatever. Not entirely motivated to meet new people right now anyway, so even if I’m not exactly happy to be swiping through a couple dozen people without matching I’m definitely not let down either. It just doesn’t feel like the right time for me, and also I totally wouldn’t have money for dates now that I think about it lmaoo. Last thing I’m gonna mention is that I haven’t been fucking with my fingers nearly as much. Just lost my week-or-so streak I was on, fidgeting in the car today, but def doing a lot better.

Everything’s doing a lot better. I’m still totally fucked, but I feel pretty great and I’m doing pretty great and everything’s going to be even more great soon enough.

#pogchamp [6:52am. never gonna sleep oh god rip hahaha]

0 notes