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ootori-sibs · 4 years ago

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The Ootori princess

Chapter 8: Sister knows best

Tw: discussions of trauma, implied abuse, implied transphobia

Yuuichi was incredibly pleased with how the day had gone, especially with how Kyoya had gotten to spent time with the hosts. The meeting he had that day wasn't nearly as enjoyable, father had been there, and although the meeting was perfectly pleasant, Yuuichi couldn't help but think about how that man had been treating Kyoya for years. Father seemed oblivious for Yuuichi's hatred, or at least chose to ignore it. In father's eyes, Yuuichi could do no wrong- he was the heir after all.

Yuuichi hated that sentiment, especially when, after the meeting, father had asked if Kyoya was behaving- not if he was doing well, or if he was happy, no: if he was behaving. It turned Yuuichi's stomach to realise that was how father saw the kid, that was how father assumed everyone saw Kyoya. He had informed father that Kyoya's was very happy and was doing well, it was disgusting how father looked skeptical.

But Yuuichi had almost forgotten that when he sat down with Kyoya and Kyoya's friends for some food. It was sweet how Kyoya had fallen asleep with a hen on his lap, it had amused Yuuichi greatly and clearly it had amused the hosts as well. At that moment, Yuuichi sat in his office, going over paperwork, he didn't really care for this stuff, he couldn't help but worry about Kyoya- oh and he had good reason to worry. The Souh child had mentioned Kyoya wearing dresses twice at school, and Yuuichi simply had to pray that his baby brother hadn't gotten mocked for it. He wondered once again why Kyoya kept dressing like that, it always seemed in situations where none of the family could see too… Yuuichi hoped Kyoya knew that he at least would support him through anything.

This paperwork, it was just some boring admin work for a few of the family hospitals, and some signing of papers for the new wellness centre- Kyoya and his friends had tested it for them just this year, and now it was going to open. Yuuichi thought it might be nice to bring Kyoya and maybe a friend or two on a nice week or maybe weekend there, but it wouldn't be open for a little while; there were still a few kinks to work out.

After he finished the paperwork, it was half past eleven at night, he sighed, glancing at his coffee, he should probably turn in for the night. He approached Kyoya's room, knocking gently on the door before peering around the door, he saw the hosts all sat around the room, talking. Yuuichi didn't know what they'd been talking about, as they had become silent when he entered. He smiled at all of them, "you guys should probably start turning in for the night, I'm going to bed now myself. Oh, and Fujioka? Can I speak with you in the morning? I have some questions." He figured since Kyoya never had that dress before going shopping with the commoner boy, that it must be where he got it from, he may as well ask.

The commoner nodded, though, like the others, he looked confused. Kyoya was clearly racking his brain for reasons Yuuichi might have to speak with the commoner, it seemed he couldn't find one. "Goodnight then." He smiled again before ducking back out of the room and continuing to his own.

Laying in bed, Yuuichi thought about how he always thought Kyoya looked much more natural in more feminine clothing, how when Kyoya was very little, they used to play games- princesses and dragons… Kyoya always wanted to play the princess just like Fiyumi, taking the little pointy hat from her and running around in a too-large shirt. He had never thought much of it; of course Kyoya would want to be like Fiyumi, Yuuichi certainly wasn't the best role model. The more and more he thought about it, however, he wondered if there was more to it then that, he'd seen Kyoya wearing that dress after all…

Yuuichi was not a morning person, none of the family were. He did manage to drag himself out of bed though, heading to the kitchen to find Yuki already awake, making a large amount of scrambled eggs. She smiled at him, "awake already sir? I have to tell you that one of your brother's friends came down here at five am, asking for cake. Is it alright that I let him have the rest of the cake?"

"Oh that's odd," Yuuichi started making some coffee, amused by Kyoya's friends' antics, "sure, I don't mind." He decided to make more coffee, for Kyoya and his friends. Maddie entered the kitchen at that point, smiling and nodding to them. Yuuichi returned the smile, raising his mug, "morning Maddie, could you go wake Kyoya and his friends for him? Thank you."

Maddie nodded, "alright, I'll get to doin that then, you got the coffee ready sir?" Yuuichi handed her the tray and she headed back out of the kitchen, likely to Kyoya's room.

Yuuichi sat down, sipping his coffee as Yuki put a plate of eggs in front of him. "Thank you, Yuki. Once you're done with your duties you may take the rest of the day off."

"Oh! Thank you sir!!" She beamed, clearly happy by this news as she rides to complete her duties in record time. Yuuichi knew that she'd mostly be spending the day playing video games, that or watching other people play video games- Yuuichi never understood how that was fun for anyone but each to their own he supposed.

Kyoya and his friends came downstairs after a while, happily eating the eggs they were given. Kyoya was quiet, grumbling under his breath about having to wake up. The others seemed happy though, laughing and chatting and greeting Yuuichi with glee, Yuuichi was glad Kyoya had such nice friends.

He had pulled the commoner aside just like he said he would, sighing, he looked down at him, "did Kyoya get his dress from you?"

The boy paused, looking up at Yuuichi in concern. It was clear that the common boy was taking the defensive stance, "there's nothing wrong with him experimenting." The boy's tone was harsh and biting, Yuuichi realised the only experience this boy had had with Kyoya's family was witnessing father hit him…

He put his hands up, taking a step back, "I didn't say there was, I just wanted to know if you gave it to him, what else do you know?" He sighed, "I'm so sorry if you perceive me as a threat, but I just want to support my brother. Is there anything you can tell me?"

Haruhi looked so surprised, but smiled softly, "of course sir, I was throwing away some old feminine clothes and senpai had argued that it 'wasn't' feminine so I told him he could take it. He hasn't actually told me anything but he did keep asking me about how gender works, so I do have to wonder." He reached out and put a hand on Yuuichi's arm, "I'm glad Kyoya has someone he can look to for comfort, we all worry about him."

Yuuichi was equally as glad that Kyoya had friends, the idea of Kyoya being supported and cared for. He smiled down at the boy, "thank you, I hope you also look out for him." Haruhi nodded and Yuuichi sighed with relief, "thank you."

Kyoya was once again spending the day with his friends, they were heading out for the day so Yuuichi had an entire day to himself. He had a few days off so he did what any busy person does with a day off; he calls his sister.

"Hello?"

Fiyumi had picked up almost instantly and made Yuuichi smile, she was always so punctual. "Good morning Fiyumi, are you free today? Kyoya's out with his friends and I'm not working so did you want to go to the spa or something like that?"

"Oh yes! Akito did tell me that Kyoya moved in with you! How wonderful! Uh-huh," there was the sound of clicking- likely Fiyumi checking her schedule, "oh awesome! Yeah I've got the whole day free up until maybe five? 'Cause it's date night so me and my husband have a reservation somewhere really nice, he has yet to tell me where." She giggled softly, god, Yuuichi adored his little sister, "what spa did you want to go to? A nearby one?"

That was how Yuuichi found himself sitting in a sauna, discussing Kyoya with his sister. "-so I think he clings to you because you remind him of father but nicer," Fiyumi was probably right, Yuuichi nodded in agreement, she was so good at reading Kyoya.

"Yeah… enough about trauma, do you remember when we used to play princesses and dragons?"

Fiyumi nodded, brushing some hair out of her eyes, "yeah! And Kyoya always used to be a princess! He was such a sweet little kid…"

"He's been wearing dresses again."

"Huh? Has he?"

"Yeah," Yuuichi started, unsure if he should even be saying this, "he got a dress from his friend and I saw him wearing it in front of the mirror- he's gotten new hair clips too. Apparently he's worn dresses as part of his club activities too."

Fiyumi nodded slowly, "ok, so is that something we should be worried about?"

"Not really, I'm just glad he feels safe enough to explore himself like that…"

She chuckled softly, "you're his brother, he trusts you when you tell he's safe there." She very clearly pauses, examining his expression, "you are worried, aren't you, Yuui? You're worried Kyoya will find something whilst exploring and you won't be able to protect him from everyone who wouldn't like that. I'm right aren't I? I can tell."

…She was right, that was the one thing Yuuichi was scared of. His biggest fear was not being able to protect his siblings… and if Kyoya kept dressing the way he had in his room, even going so far as to do so in public… would Yuuichi be able to protect him? He hated how well Fiyumi could read him. Yuuichi nodded, sighing, "I just want to make sure he's safe…"

"I know Yuui, I know. I feel the exact same way, but you know… you've gotta give him some room, has he said anything about it to you yet?"

He shook his head, "no, he doesn't even know I saw him wearing the dress…"

Fiyumi paused, sighing heavily and massaging her temples. "Yuuichi…" He suddenly felt even more guilty, Fiyumi might be younger than him but she was always the more emotionally mature one. "Don't you dare mention that to anyone, ok? Ok good. Now Kyoya doesn't have to say anything to you if he doesn't want to, and nothing might come of this. But if he does say something then you still don't bring up what you saw, you take everything he says as gospel and you listen and give him the space he needs, ok? This is our baby brother, he deserves the safe space you promised him."

Yuuichi nodded, understanding that she was completely correct. He felt guilty when he realised he'd already tried to forcefully support Kyoya, what with the apron… god, he was stupid. He sighed, "you're right, you're always right. Thank you Fiyumi, I needed that."

"Just speaking my mind," she shrugs, smiling.

After the sauna and a deep tissue massage, they went to get lunch, sitting down in a lovely little café. They both got coffees and some food; Fiyumi ordered soup whilst Yuuichi got a small pie. It was nice to just sit and talk about everything and nothing. It seemed that Fiyumi had something on her mind, however, "I have to ask, how did father react when you told him you were taking Kyoya?"

Yuuichi paused, remembering the argument he'd had with father, "well… I'd been screaming at him for over an hour at that point, and I slammed the office door after telling him I was taking Kyoya so I'm not sure how he reacted," he chuckled lightly, remembering father's face, "I didn't give him the chance to."

Fiyumi's eyes sparkled at the thought of Yuuichi standing up to father and Yuuichi understood it completely- he remembered how hard his heart had hammered in his chest. "Woahh… you're so brave Yuui, I definitely wouldn't be able to talk back to father, let alone yell at him."

He didn't like it when Fiyumi downplayed her own confidence like that, he knew first hand how brave she could be. "Don't say that, Fiyumi, you're braver than you think."

"Thanks…"

#kyoya ootori #ouran high school host club #yuuichi ootori #fiyumi ootori

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merryfortune · 5 years ago

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Salted Soymilk Star Doughnuts

Fandom: Star Twinkle PreCure

Ship: Hikaru/Yuni

Word Count: 2,257

Tags: Pining, Interspecies Relationships

Author’s Note: Enjoy my writing? consider supporting my original poetry zine, information here

Singing to herself, or perhaps more accurately: humming to herself, Hikaru made herself known long before she even opened the door to the Rocket. Yuni had a set of sensitive ears and unlike many of Hikaru’s companions and peers, the girl was very distinctive in the racket that she either knowingly or unknowingly kicked up. Some people were unappreciative of this trait of Hikaru’s and it could be surprising to learn that Yuni was not one such person. She very much appreciated it because it gave her time to mentally prepare the patience which she would need to deal with such a blissfully bombastic person.

“Hey Yuni,” Hikaru said, immediately upon slamming open the Rocket’s doors, “I brought doughnuts, for me and You-ni.” She giggled to herself as she kicked off her shoes.

Yuni’s ears flicked. “Where’re the other girls today, meow?” she asked.

“Lala’s studying with Sakurako. They’ve been getting along ever since, well, the cat got out of the bag.” Hikaru said as she sat down. “As for Elena and Madoka, they’ve got their final exams. Fingers crossed that goes twin-cool for them. I have no doubt that they’ll outshine all their classmates.”

“I see, meow.” Yuni replied.

“So. Just you and me today.” Hikaru said.

Yuni relaxed to into her hand which was propped up on the table in the centre of the rocket ship. She sighed. “Why not spend some time at home then, meow? Feed your dog and family your doughnuts, meow?”

“Because I was worried you were lonely, duh.” Hikaru said.

Hikaru set down the doughnuts on the table. She had brought less than usual. Just enough for herself, the glutton, for Yuni, who ate less than everyone, and then some for Prunce and Fuwa. Hikaru glanced around. It seemed that she had noticed something was slightly amiss. It was just herself and Yuni.

“Where’s Prunce and Fuwa?” she asked.

“Fuwa’s having a nap, for once in her life, and as for Prunce, he’s taking the moment to relax as well, catch up on the latest intergalactic dramas, meow. Though, I’m sure once he smells doughnuts, he’ll come running, meow.” Yuni informed her.

“I see. I hope so. A big crowd’s better than two.” Hikaru replied.

Yuni was terse. She disagreed but she was happy to indulge Hikaru with noncommittal silence in this situation. After all, her opinion was beginning to change. Like a pendulum’s swing, Yuni had once loved big crowds as well, even if she was something of a wallflower, but since becoming a thief and the sole survivor of her species, she had come to loathe them. But, through meeting Hikaru and these girls, that opinion had begun to shift again. Just a little and rather painfully.

Hikaru unwrapped the doughnuts. She had brought two boxes and she smiled to herself. Yuni’s nose twitched and her curiosity betrayed her. They didn’t look – or smell – like the usual doughnuts which Hikaru bought to share using her allowances. Not all of them, anyway. Some were the usual plain glaze and cinnamon, but that second box was not so common.

“You noticed?” Hikaru asked, an impish smile on her face.

“A new flavour, meow?” Yuni inquired, eyes sparkling.

“A-yup. I bought it ‘cause I thought you’d like it.” Hikaru said.

There was a curt waver in her voice which Yuni picked up on. She blinked. Hikaru, who adored to gobble all manner of doughnuts down, seemed vaguely uncertain of her choice. For just a moment, her usual manner deflated and Yuni had caught it no differently to catching an eyelash in her eye.

“Are you worried you’ll dislike this new flavour?” Yuni asked.

“A little bit.” Hikaru said before putting her hand on her the back of her hand and laughing boisterously at her own self-perceived silliness. “What if it has a bad texture or something? But I’m sure it’ll be delicious, it reminded me of you.”

“It did, meow?” Yuni blinked curiously.

She licked her jowls. Hikaru thought it was rather cute. Yuni, blushed, for she realised that Hikaru was staring at her mannerisms and it embarrassed her, so her tail twitched and kinked for a moment as her eyes wandered back to the doughnuts. They, of course, had the usual star shape to their centre per the style of the baker who makes them down in the town centre, but they were pasted quite thickly with white icing.

Whilst they weren’t plain like plain doughnuts were, they weren’t decorated enough to give Yuni a hint. Smelling the air, they just smelt like regular vanilla iced doughnuts to her. It was almost petty or pouty but Yuni would have thought that she had more of a unique prescence on Hikaru’s minds, especially if her inability to resist cat puns around her were any metric to use. Yuni crossed her arms.

“I’m sure they’re fine.” Yuni said.

Hikaru laughed. “The icing is salted soymilk flavoured. And, well, I thought cats liked milk, so they reminded me of you.”

“I see, meow.” Yuni said and she shrugged. “I’ll try one first for you, meow.”

“Thanks, Yuni.” Hikaru smiled.

Yuni reached across the table and she suddenly became aware of the fact that they she and Hikaru were sitting in their ‘usual’ spots. It felt odd since normally there was someone between them. Instead, there was three empty seats. Perhaps, she ought to move closer but Yuni was hesitant to. She didn’t know why but getting closer to Hikaru scared her.

Yuni picked out the second doughnut from the front. She didn’t know why, the first doughnut was perfectly fine, she just did so anyway. With little hesitation or cautiousness, Yuni took an unceremonious chomp out of the doughnut. She sank her fangs in and she had to admit. It was one of the nicer doughnuts that she had ever had. The icing was definitely what was selling her on it. She quickly devoured the rest of it and licked her fingers clean.

Hikaru smiled. “You liked it?” she asked.

“It was okay, meow.” Yuni replied, snootier in her reply than she meant.

“Well, don’t mind if I do.” Hikaru chirruped.

She was then quick to devour the first doughnut which had slumped onto the third doughnut as Yuni had eaten the second one. Hikaru very happily bit through her doughnut and she found the saltiness a pleasant contrast against the sweet greasiness of the doughnut. As it was iced, not glazed, the grease didn’t weigh as heavy on her tongue but was still delightfully dulcet. Not to mention, that ever-present star motif in the middle of it made her happy as well.

Watching Hikaru eat made Yuni happy as well. She gazed fondly towards Hikaru as she ate.

“Yep, that was a super-duper yummy doughnut.” Hikaru gushed upon finishing eating it.

Yuni continued to feel some lukewarm elation upon seeing Hikaru happy. But rather than reach for yet another doughnut, Hikaru got up. She toyed with her school uniform and then she sat down. This time in the next seat over. Yuni’s heart pounded unexpectedly as Hikaru was now sitting next to her. She had taken the initiative. And Yuni wasn’t sure why but then again, she wasn’t sure why Hikaru did a lot of things for her, but she found it sweet, nonetheless.

“Ne, Yuni,” Hikaru said as she finally picked out another doughnut, salted soymilk, of course, “can I ask you something?”

“What would mew like to ask?” Yuni asked.

She kept herself guarded and she kept Hikaru as far away as she possibly could. Which was becoming increasingly difficult because the girl was so darn affable. Not to mention, Yuni had traversed entire universes looking for her star; it made no sense to turn back down when here she was.

“Why don’t you ever just... chill? Not like emotionally, but, like, physically. In your...” Hikaru fumbled with her words.

“In my ‘true’ form, you mean, meow?” Yuni asked.

“A-yup.” nodded Hikaru.

Yuni sighed but it turned into a hum. She slumped sideways slightly and drummed her fingers on the table. Hikaru seemed happy to wait for an answer whilst Yuni mulled over an answer for her. One which they would both find palatable.

“Because accidents happen, I suppose, meow.” Yuni murmured. “I mean, we’ll always be skirting around secrets and you said it before, meow. The cat’s out of the bag, meow. But... this cat isn’t ready to be out of the supposed bag, meow.”

“I see...” Hikaru murmured. “Well,” she said, brightening up, “when you’re ready to, I look forward to it.”

Yuni laughed. “You are a strange one, Cure Star, meow.”

“I get that a lot.” Hikaru blithely replied. Her eyes snapped open though. “Do you think you’ll ever transform into Cure Cosmo whilst being your true alien form?”

Yuni hissed and quirked an eyebrow.

“Did I say something wrong?” Hikaru asked.

“No, I guess not; I was just being defensive, meow.” Yuni said and her hackles settled.

“Are you sure?” Hikaru asked. “I think I did say something wrong. All I want is to be my authentic self and I become that person when I become Cure Star. I think it’s the same for the other girls so why not mew too? I mean, you are the star of all that remains of Rainbow, for now, so I can’t help but think that your Rainbownian self is you when you’re a hundred percent mew.”

Hikaru... had a point.

Yuni didn’t want to admit it but Hikaru was right, or at the very least onto something. And Yuni very much wished that she wasn’t. So, she asked a question back, spitting it out like venom.

“Do you think there will come a day where you transform into Cure Star, you’ll become an alien, meow? A completely nonhuman entity, meow?”

Hikaru hummed and tapped her chin with her index finger, tempted to nibble on her nails as she was sometimes in that sort of habit. “Well, no. But if I could, that’d be so twin-cool! Thinking about myself, in that unlimited form and style makes my heart pound super duper fast. If such a thing was possible, I would want to try as many forms as possible to see who I truly am and who from such persons I can assimilate into my true self. I think that’s called transhumanism.” She stuck her tongue out at Yuni.

Yuni sighed. She supposed that was a Hikaru answer through and through. She was the girl who found it fantastic and fascinating that Rainbownians had the power to shape shift, naturally and with an aide, rather than cause for suspicion of them. It was remarkably optimistic but natural too.

With a slight smile on her lips, curt but charmed, Yuni said: “For just a moment, I suppose, meow. But I can’t go wasting my Rainbow Perfume on such frivolous things, meow.”

She surrendered to Hikaru’s endearingly persistent gaze which was positively starry. With a flick of her wrist, Yuni produced her Rainbow Perfume and with a squeeze and a squirt of it, she reverted to her supposedly authentic form.

Her whole body exploded into thick and fluffy, beige fur. Whiskers protruded from her cheeks as her snout took hold of her button nose. Her hands turned to paws but Yuni didn’t mind. It always felt good to let the cat out of the bag once in a while, even if it meant that Hikaru had to stare and stare something awful. Doubly so as they were sitting next to each other.

“May I touch you?” Hikaru asked. “You’re just too cute to compute, I wanna give you a pat or a scratch. Are you soft? I bet you’re soft. Oh, you’re just too twin-cool!”

Yuni smiled a fond smile but on her face, it seemed more bemused than anything else. Hikaru didn’t seem to mind or maybe she just didn’t notice.

“Fine, meow. Just this one, meow.” Yuni said.

“Thank mew very, very much.” Hikaru gushed.

Yuni squirmed slightly as Hikaru bumbled in closer. She lifted her hand to Yuni’s face and with just her finger, she started at the base of Yuni’s chin. A growl got stuck in her throat, but it thinned out as Hikaru scratched her. Her finger was very pokey and bendy but once yuni got into the rhythm of it, she began to purr. Her purr was rusty and tickled Hikaru’s ears, but it absolutely encouraged her, so she used more fingers.

Hikaru got really into it. Soon, she had both hands clamped either side of Yuni’s face, smushing it up and running her fingers through Yuni’s fur. It was extraordinarily thick and fluffy; Hikaru utterly marvelled over it. She grinned from ear to ear as she listened to how Yuni purred at her touch.

It felt nice. Nice enough for Yuni to tentatively closer her eyes and revel in how her voice box reverberated in her throat. It had been a long time since Yuni had let someone touch her so affectionately and let alone to the point where she purred. Her spine tingled and she indulged the moment, mulling over to herself, with a steady heartbeat and steadier breaths, how thankful she was that her star was not only a person but Hikaru.

Yuni was fairly certain that she would never tell Hikaru her feelings, but they were there. They were real. They were important to Yuni and something like gratitude. A thankfulness for being her light in the dark abyss of the cosmos.

#writing tag #femslash #precure #star twinkle precure #star twinkle #star twinkle pretty cure #hoshina hikaru #hikaru hoshina #yuni (precure)#hikaru x yuni #yuni x hikaru #hikayuni #tumblr was being a butt which is why i've done this post in stages

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pinkfoxpinkfox-blog · 8 years ago

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My New Addiction: Self-Love

self-love

noun

regard for one’s own well-being and happiness.

Being a really direct person, I strive to make what I do and what I say as efficient as possible. I’m pretty sure I’ve perfected my ‘getting ready for work’ routine (I’ve even got a built in procrastination time of exactly 8 minutes. Ha!).

As the poor souls that follow me on Snapchat already know, I ALWAYS do my make up on the way into work. I’ve finally got to a place where wearing makeup isn’t detrimental. It’s literally a pass time for the journey into the city.

At this point, I’d like to consider myself somewhat a commute specialist, having a variety of looks I can successfully complete in less than 23 minutes.

Now don’t get me wrong, it probably is best to give certain things a bit more breathing room (missing your Eurostar train by 2 minutes really has you evaluating your life choices) but on a day to day basis, I’ve become more confident about making bolder decisions.

However, growing up I didn’t like the skin I was in.

Being black wasn’t cool and being African quickly narrowed the chances of me being cool from slim to none. My favourite colour was green, I wanted to be a pilot and my hair just wasn’t long enough. It also didn’t help that I didn’t grow into my eyes until the later years of my life, but we thank God for puberty and the growth spurts that come with it.

Having attended 3 different primary schools, and having moved home as many times, I was always the new kid in every aspect of my life.

I didn’t feel like I fit in and I didn’t stay in any one place long enough for people to get to know me and like me for me… and I didn’t realise the extent of the impact it had on me until I started crossing over into the adult half of my life.

I was so used to different people constantly questioning every aspect of my being, that I was never secure in who I was.

My mum being the super hero she is would always tell me how awesome I was and that I had nothing to worry about, but I would always think your parents are SUPPOSED to like you 🙄and so I was always super concerned with why I couldn’t see a reflection of myself in my peers.

They all seemed so in sync, and there I was, watching with my big eyes from the sidelines. (I really like my eyes now, they’re perfect for my head. yay ☺ )

Because I wasn’t confident in my own choices, I often found myself following someone else’s lead and because I wasn’t confident in my own skin, so I often found myself admiring the way others looked.

However, hitting rock bottom changes your life.

The little self esteem I had quickly evaporated when the walls came tumbling down.

For the first time in my microscopic 23 years, I truly felt helpless to the point where I was paranoid to leave my house, and when I did I was so on edge I spent the whole time regretting it.

It wasn’t until I was literally had to fight to get my life back did I begin to understand the importance of self love.

‘If I were to ask you to name the people you love, how long would it take you to name yourself?’

Deep, I know.

Its the question that has shaped my entire approach.

I was so busy admiring the quirks, kinks and beauty of those around me that I never took the time out to sit down and understand what it was I loved about myself or even try and love myself.

The beauty of falling apart is that you get to decide how you put yourself back together again, and one of the core things I adopted was to love myself first.

How you interact with others dictates how you perceive yourself.

Once I stopped seeking love and validation from the outside and understood I need to start looking inwards, things really began to change.

When you love yourself first, you go back to narrating your own story and honestly, you’re the only person that’s the best person to do that.

I’ve found that saying that you love yourself isn’t enough, and in my case it wasn’t even necessary. I just started showing myself the same selfless love I had spent my entire life showing others; I stopped being so hard on myself, I embraced my flaws and looked at ways to better myself- whilst understanding I’m pretty awesome as I am.

Taking the time out to become more gentle, compassionate and patient with myself and found that I had inadvertently given myself the space to grow.

Imperfections are the very thing that make us human- they give us character, something to work on, something to admire. I’m still growing, and I’m still quite a character but hopefully I never stop growing.

I’ve committed myself to the process- and that’s what it is. A process.

Like all things worthwhile, it’s going to cost you, in time, money or maybe even both, but it’s the best investment you’ll ever make ☺️💛

#self-love #growth #development #process #imperfectlyperfect #love #happiness #positivity #self-esteem #pinkfoxpinkfox #pinkfox #newblog #progression

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