#i also wouldnt consider myself trans fem or trans masc. i'm trans. i'm pretty often seen as both or either. so ah. if the shoe fits.

[girlboyburger]

Its-using animals club!

Alas i feel your pain, especially when someone's go-to response is "isn't using it/its dehumanizing?"

right. like. it doesn't matter if you think it's dehumanizing. it's what i want to be called, and like my name, you'll call me by it / its or we will not be having further conversation.

to me, personally, that's like. kind of a huge part of the appeal? full respect to those living in the "it can be a moment, it can be the mountains or the sunset" because, me too! but also a massive appeal to it / its is i can easily sum my gender up as some kinda boygirlthing. it/its he/she. like an animal you don't know the gender of.

[sweetmoogirl]

I'm curious as to the psychology of your kink. For someone so young, it seems like a pretty full on and specific kink. I am wondering firstly, what is the connect between fantasy and reality, if any, are you just engaging in fantasy purely for horny reasons? Does your fantasy and kink ever enter your reality and if so to what extent? Secondly, how did this kink begin for you - were you traumatised, did you simply explore the internet until stumbling across something that you explored further because of the sexual excitement it gave you, do you have mental illness or are you a fully functioning person? I think there's a lot to learn from you so please, the more detail and clarity, the better.

im pretty flattered that you seem to think im so interesting lolol

i dont know which kink youre specifically talking about though since a lot of my kinks can fall under this line of questioning. ill answer this for the three "worst" kinks i have: detrans/misgendering, cnc, and misogyny. if its not one of these three then lmk and ill answer again.

for detrans/misgendering, it really not that specific tbh. theres a lot of trans people who have a kink like this or similar to this. (forced) feminization is also very common, especially in masculine spaces. theres absolutely a psychological aspect to this, as well as a societal one. trans people are oppressed and often discriminated against in many ways, including being misgendered. this kink allows for a SAFE and CONSENTUAL space for someone to cope through their traumas in a healthy way.

theres also a VERY strict gender binary often forced on trans people by cis people, and sometimes others in our own community, that force a lot of us into a box. if you dont keep your hair short, wear boy clothing, like masc hobbies, and transition medically then youre not a real trans man. if you dont do makeup and wear dresses with long hair, tuck, get surgery or use padding for breasts, or act feminine then youre not a real trans woman. if youre too masc or fem or you dont fit into nonbinary stereotypes then you must be lying.

this kink is a very easy way to explore masculine and feminine sides to ourselves as trans people that we wouldnt be able to irl because of these harsh gender roles that we HAVE to adhere to otherwise no one takes us seriously (obviously trans people are valid NO MATTER HOW THEY PRESENT OR CHOOSE TO DO but this is a very common mindset we have to deal with).

i got into this kink bc my gender dysphoria is awful. its made me miserable for most of my life and it, alongside my adhd and possible autism, is why i struggle so much with depression and anxiety. im always worried about how ill be seen, if ill pass as male, and remembering my own body makes me sick. i started joking over half a year ago, saying "well i cant get dysphoric if i pavlov myself into getting horny everytime i get misgendered. haha checkmate t3rfs!!!" and then it became less of a joke.

i wrote stories of trans men exploring this kink in my writing and it really helped. im still dysphoric. i may joke about how this kink is the way to cure gender dysphoria but thats not how it actually works. i still have days where my body is unbearable and the thought of being feminized makes me want to hide away forever. but it genuinely did help to break out of those boxes i put myself in and play in a safe space with terms and mentalities regarding my gender.

in terms of fantasy and reality, this is purely fantasy for me. i have no desires to detransition, nor do i have any want to be misgendered outside of horny purposes. i am a man, i will always be a man, and thats not going to change just because tumblr user xyz called me babygirl. im almost a year on testosterone and im considering getting top surgery as we speak. this kink doesnt affect me on any other level than horny.

for cnc/noncon, this one is probably a bit more in depth. i dont have any specific trauma in this field. ive been touched inappropriately against my consent a handful of times (as in someone touched my chest or my hips) but nothing that spawned this kink.

however, there are studies that show that a LOT (as in over half) of afabs get fantasies regarding cnc and non consensual situations. this DOES NOT mean that they want to taken advantage of. for the most part, this kink derives from the idea of being wanted so badly by someone that they would take you no matter what. its also the idea of POWER PLAY, of being helpless and not having to make any sexual decisions.

theres also a lot of trauma involved and, as stated before, kink is a SAFE and HEALTHY place to cope with that trauma as long as safe words, aftercare, and proper communication is enforced. there are many people who like being in a cnc scene and knowing that, unlike their trauma, they now have CONTROL over the situation and can stop it whenever they want and have their wishes be RESPECTED. in this area, i am the wrong person to ask so i implore you to do more research on your own with this topic if youre truly curious.

for ME personally, i like noncon/cnc bc of that power dynamic. i am a submissive who could NEVER dom in any sense of the word. i like being completely submissive and i like having my dom take control and do anything and everything for me. i dont want to make decisions and i like being overpowered and taken care of. its just hot to be forced to do something, whether that be manhandled into the next room or be good.

this is a fantasy that ive had for years, even when i was a kid. i dont know WHY that is, but i do know that a lot of my friends who have childhood related trauma also had fantasies like that as a kid. i also discovered hardcore porn and noncon scenes when i was WAY too young to even know what sex was and im sure that exposure affected me in an unhealthy way too. again, id implore you to look for educational resources on the nature of forceful and violent fantasies, both sexual and not. its a fascinating subject and bdsm and kink psychology and etiquette has been a fixation of mine for years.

and it is just that, a fantasy. in real life, i am extremely sex repulsed and borderline identify as asexual because i dont want to do anything like that with anyone. im also, as mentioned before, extremely anxious and socially awkward so i dont like being near people at all. the idea of anyone hitting on me or not respecting my boundaries makes me feel ill, even if its hot while im horny.

for misogyny, ill keep it short bc its related to everything above. basically combine my reasoning for cnc and detrans and youd get my reason for this. its basically me, as a trans person, going from one extreme of being so masculine it was toxic and exploring the other extreme. its once again just me exploring a taboo subject in a safe and consensual space.

misogyny kink is rooted in strict female gender roles, as well as the forcefulness and disrespect you get from cnc. thats why its my favorite kink, it combines everything i like but specifically utilizes WHY i like those things. i discovered it when i made my first detrans/misgendering tumblr account and made a side account dedicated to it, and then when i made this account i just combined the two.

i grew up super fucking feminist and i still am a major feminist who is all about supporting women and their choices. i love women and think theyre cool as hell and much, much stronger than i am lolol. this is just a fantasy for me, nothing more. this is another kink that is heavy on the dom/sub dynamics, as well as giving people who experience trauma at the face of their oppression a place to take back those experiences.

anyways thats my super long post!!! tysm for asking, anon, i love answering questions. if you have any further questions then you can shoot me some more anons or you can message me directly, i dont mind :D

i hope i answered your question and it all made sense!!!!