#i also went 2 da mall and only got like. 4 drinks

[emoangel44]

i just went 2 da thrift and found NOTHING -_-

[crimsonblackrose]

.

omg the sort of dark western-ish music is just similar ish to Kreese's theme. It's not his theme but it's like a cousin to it.

I do love Kim Da-Eun.

See this is when we move back into like cartoon villain territory. One of the new hench dude villains has an eye patch.

It's interesting that they all carry their bags and get off the plane then wait for her.

"You asked me to bring the best sensei's my dojang had to offer."

And one of them is a pirate. (There seems to be 6 of them)

She also immediately is like oh, it's you. Where's Kreese? Like Silver, you told Daniel you have a lot of friends. And you seem to, but are the only friends you have in the world of karate....Kreese's friends?

Terry trying to share 50% of Cobra Kai since TKK3 and no one ever seems to take him up on it.

He flew them in a private jet, which honestly for 7 people isn't as bad as how some rich people fly only one person around all the time. It was also apparently super last minute but they still came when called, probably because Kim Da-Eun really wanted to see Kreese.

Which is hilarious. The only player in the game actually paying attention to Silver is Daniel. And possibly Stingray. Everyone else is not impressed. Dare I say, poor Silver?

Okay so the last couple episodes took like a few days, so maybe we're 3 weeks into summer, 2 weeks into Carmen's pregnancy. (ish)

I think that furniture in the background was the furniture in Amanda and Daniel's bedroom when Chozen was trying on too small suit jackets.

Also Daniel, do you have enough oils???? I thought it was booze at first and I was like damn, but then I realized it's like all oils.

CHOZEN'S BLUE FIN TUNA FISH SHIRT

Johnny why are you here? | Figuring out a way to make Silver pay for what he did to you.

If it's been a week has Johnny stayed the whole time or just come back every single day for a week? And did Amanda call him or after he fixed the Miguel and Robby situation did he just call and then go over?

Daniel's been wearing just his pj's for a week.

2 tea pots are on the table but it kinda looks like both Chozen and Johnny are drinking milk.

Daniel's not quite listening. Amanda tells him he doesn't have to stop fighting, they're with him. And he's like no I do, I'm just making everyone's life worse.

Johnny: What are you talking about you did help kids?

Daniel says he finally understand why Mr. Miyagi would walk away from a fight. "It's not our job to fight the monsters of the world."

THE GLASSES

TKK1 reference.

to visit Kreese, Tory told them he's his granddaughter. Kreese looks pretty happy that one student he taught adopted him. He's been trying to very poorly adopt Johnny for like 4 seasons.

Tory tells Kreese that Mr. LaRusso got really badly hurt because of their sting opperation, and Kreese just sort of chuckles and says that's one enemy gone. I don't think he realizes that despite Tory's beef with Sam, she doesn't hate Mr. and Mrs. LaRusso.

Tory has a good point. If Mr. LaRusso was just a means to an end does Kreese view her that way too? Tory doesn't want to stay at the dojo any longer either.

Which sucks for Tory, it essentially means she's been staying not because she wants to but to help Kreese. Which means Robby broke up with her over this.

Kreese says he has a plan to get out. Which means he had that plan from really early on to escape and fake his own death. For the...third time?

Topanga karate is also in a strip mall.

Devon: Please I didn't kick you that hard.

The way the Topanga sensei (sensei Rosenthal) is actually happy to see Silver. Even though he shows up with all his new senseis who block the exit.

Devon looks around like a what the fuck?

Silver bought out Topanga karate, and will lower the dues

The bleach blonde sensei's name is Hyan-woo

Terry went to Rosenthal during Shabbat service to make the deal and apparently had told Rosenthal he could stay on that they'd just be 'part of' cobra kai, not taken over.

Even if they quit they get a gift

This is eyepatch sensei's name:

All the students pick the gi and to join cobra kai.

Terry tries to take Nichols with him. But Kim says she stays to help test the fighters of the new dojo.

Topanga karate has a bunch of flags up, including the flag of India.

That walking oil spill got into Daniel's head in a way I didn't think was possible. -Amanda

Yeah, and what sucks is he's been there since 1985.

Sam being on her phone catching Terry's live take over of Topanga karate.

Johnny: Perfect, then I'm going down there to beat his pony-tail ass.

Amanda's legit panic at that:

She's seen what happened to her husband who is a badass at karate when he went unsuspecting into a trap. Not realizing, Johnny also has done the same thing.

"The hell I can't, the guys whole MO is hiding out in the dark,

Right now we know exactly where he is and he's not on his home turf.

Amanda: Chozen please stop him.

Chozen: Amanda-san is right. One man army,not good.

Amanda: Thank you Chozen: I come with you

Amanda: That is not what I meant.

Amanda, you have two strike first fighters in your house, Daniel got hurt, they're not going to just sit.

Also no one realizes that Johnny is speaking from literal experience from fighting Silver.

Of course Johnny doesn't know anything about Chozen. "You know this isn't some kata competition right?" Aka we might have to strike first. Don't you worry Johnny, Chozen isn't a strike second dude. He strikes first too. After all, unlike yourself, he fully tried to murder Daniel, unprompted.

Hai | Is that a yes?

Listen I know you're frustrated Chozen, but, he will pick it up. I mean he understands Rosa now. He just has to learn.

I can't believe this younger dude wolf whistled Kreese. I mean, shoot your shot I guess. Even a flirty Hey sensei, ah but then they make fun of him for his age. Boo.

Kreese: I make friends pretty easily

That might explain why Silver is trying to use his contacts and they all just want to see you. (But also from this serious, no real proof in that since he fought with his roommate, fought with Silver, fought with Johnny, fought with...pretty much anyone who had to deal with him beyond a basic level)

Kreese is so good at lying through his teeth.

Devon didn't put on the Cobra gi. Everyone was told to pair up so she picks a dummy to do what Kim told them to do. But Tory shows up. Tory corrects how she's hitting.

Devon points out that the ref was blind and gave Tory a point when Devon was out of bounds. Devon's mother is gone, from cancer.

She used to say "The only way you really lose is by giving up."

Johnny: I've got this you didn't have to come. Chozen: Not likely, Silver very dangerous. Johnny: Yeah I know.

Literally he keeps hinting that he got his ass beat by Silver and no one clues in on that.

I would like to once again point out it's supposed to be summer in LA:

Like even the excuse of Chozen is from a tropical island so maybe LA is cold for him doesn't work because it's a similar temperature in the summer for both.

The subtitles fail this moment. Johnny says "I"m ready for him this time. I can be dangerous too." (I've complained to netflix a few times about how their subtitles on this are inaccurate, because surprisingly especially for the newer seasons, lots of mistakes)

Chozen laughs and says "Daniel-san told me how dangerous you can be." Essentially you are not dangerous even though Daniel sometimes exaggerates as if you are.

"Did he tell you how I kicked his ass in high school?" | "I robbed him while he was on date" | "Oh yeah, I pushed him down a cliff" | "I fight him to death" | "Oh yeah? What are you a ghost or something ?" | "No, Daniel-san showed me mercy" | "Sounds like LaRusso. Man he was such a twerp back then." | "Real pain in ass. But he always fight for what he believe in" | "Never backed down from a fiight, even when he should've" | "A few months ago I saw him take on a whole hockey team." | "I saw him save young girl from typhoon." | "He took a man down with a single strike to his pressure point" | "Who do you think teach him that?"

I love that whole exchange so much, including Chozen's strike a pose for pressure point fighting. Becaue it's teh quickest get to know you catch up ever. Essentially ensuring each other is prepared for a potential fight. It's also a bit of the pissing contents that Daniel and Johnny had at the restaurant but much chiller. This is the awful stuff I did to Daniel. Daniel was such an annoying twerp. We agree on that. But he's also a badass, and here's examples.

It also is a very quick way of telling Johnny that he doesn't necessarily have to protect Chozen in this fight which is what he's been worrying about. Like Johnny has gone up against Silver, but doesn't know that Chozen is legit a karate master or any of his history, but to learn that the badass moves Daniel used against Kreese that impressed Johnny were taught to him by the man beside him means that he's got back up, not someone he's got to protect.

Holy shit Terry how fast do you move? This is how rich guys with money just throw their money around huh? Literally less than an hour ago that said Topanga karate. Did you do this before you went in and made the announcement or after?

Johnny instantly seeing Devon, still in her blue gi from Topanga and the way Johnny's whole demeanor changes, from relaxed studying the competition to realizing one of his kids is in there.

Devon? What the hell? Oi! What are you doing? Stops Johnny from going in.

Poor Chozen, he's like what is with these American men and their desire to rush in without thinking and going suddenly off script? He already had to do this sort of babysitting with Daniel, he probably wasn't expecting to have to do it with Johnny too. Someone make a joke meme image of Chozen with two kids on those leash backpacks and one's Johnny and one's Daniel and Chozen looks tired, but then secretly the one most tired behind them all is Amanda.

Not here for student. Here for Silver. Must wait for right time. Run into den of lions, you will get eaten.

At least everyone listens to Chozen.

What is with the eyeing each other like that? What are you two doing?

Kreese got a letter with an official looking letterhead in a brown envelope that he crumples. He petitioned for early release and the doc recommended against it. So Kreese starts scheming another way out.

Sigh subtitles it's not Chiri-san, it's Jirisan. No dash. No 'ch'. You're treating it like a Japanese honorific, which is not the case here, it's a different language.

Kim's students would climb the mountain (talles on mainland, it's to the south, the tallest in all of Korea is on Jeju island) with nothing but packs of water and then would train at the peak.

I do really like Devon's blue and black topanga karate gi. It's a pretty blue.

Kim trained with them wearing two heavy packs. Tory and Devon's test is to have Devon pick up a stick from a table between them and for Tory to stop her.

Devon getting the stick and being excited, used to people cheering her on, looking confused and realizing how dangerous the situation is when Kim grabs teh stick from her hand and whirls on Tory and lectures her.

She tells Tory to strike Devon harder, and then even though she hurts Devon (Stomps on her hand and kicks her in the face) Kim smacks her with a stick on the back of the leg.

Devon runs out the door in tears. Technically Johnny and Chozen should be right there but they never show us Devon running into them or that interaction.

I appreciate the doc chewing Kreese out. "I thought you were a sensei." "I am a sensei." "Then act like one."

He considered Betty the love of his life.

I do like having Kreese confront his past via them actually being there.

Doctor as Silver: Do you feel angry John? At who?

"None of it is my fault." What happened to Stingray isn't, but I feel like this is who Kreese is. He believes nothing at all is his fault.

Tory shows up in her cobra kai gi: So you don't feel any regret?

What exactly am I supposed to feel regret for. Cue baby Johnny

I wasn't trying to hurt anyone. I was trying to make my students tough. (By choking Johnny...uh huh. This is probably what Kreese really believes even though he's not going to get through to Johnny with that)

Baby Johnny: You wanted them all to be like you

No, I wanted them all to be better than me.

Current Johnny shows up and doesn't say a thing.

Which might be a realization that Johnny did grow up to become better than Kreese. Maybe.

Baby Kreese: You just have to find the better you locked inside of yourself.

It's kind of interesting that for a show where pretty much everyone needs therapy the only one to get it is Kreese and Silver and Silver reverts and Kreese...well

Silver officially teaching adult classes. Those classes are on Wednesdays.

Johnny and Chozen came in after the students left, which means, truly, Johnny and Chozen saw Devon run out crying.

Johnny needs to learn how to fight against this style, because they always go for his throat and he always gets knocked out because of it.

lol they both kick him at the same time. And look at that back to back!

Sensei Kim: Chozen Toguchi, far from his 'pathetic little island' and surprised to see Daniel LaRusso healed from his injuries so quickly.

The way Johnny looks around like what the fuck? Where's Daniel? When did he sneak in? Not realizing at first that she thinks Johnny is Daniel.

To Chozen when he says "Silver must pay for what he's done." "You bark like your blonde dog."

Chozen's eyes narrow but Johnny says; I do more than bark, trust me. Like bud, I get that when people diss you you don't fall for that bait, but sometimes not correcting people means you end up sounding like you accept the things they say.

Johnny like okay sure I'll fight six sensei's and sensei Kim. Chozen holy shit we barely took down 1, grabbing Johnny's arm and like nope not here not now, too much advantage. We escape.

"We won't let you take over the valley" "We already did" "you think you did."

LOL. So Kim hasn't a clue who Johnny is. Girl, you want bait or someone to talk to about Kreese, Johnny's the only one here other than Tory and potentially Robby that Kreese likes.

SILVER OMG YOU ARE SO EXTRA WHAT ARE THOSE?!!!!!!!!!!

Silver is making and branding his own Cobra Kai snacks. "They're called Snakebites" and Kyler loves them. According to Kenny they're pure protein you're only supposed to eat one or two, meanwhile Kyler is like inhaling them by the bag full.

Devon returning: I only loose if I give up.

The receptionist lets the students sign up with a pass in case they want to train after hours. Does that mean that the kids can get in when the dojo is closed and work out on their own? What about safety Silver????

Devon called to ask if she could join the flagship so she could learn more from Tory. Silver's super proud. It makes me wonder if Johnny and Chozen and Devon made a plan after she ran out. Pretty sure they don't ever say that's what happened but there's no way she got past them.

Chozen points out he took out a bunch of valley sensei's by himself but it took both Johnny and himself to take out one.

Johnny says they still could've won "Give me a pair of nunchucks and it's lights out baby."

"No offense Johnny but strategy isn't really your forte. You're more of a blunt instrument."

"Thank you."

Johnny, once again, not a compliment. But you're probably so unused to even getting sincere compliments that you're like close enough.

"Daniel might not have Mr. Miyagi to rely on any more. But he has us."

He's needed that.

Kreese is in cell-block C

I love that they swapped out our Kreese for younger Kreese for this fight.

Daniel doesn't ever go in Mr. Miyagi's room.

Kudos on the set design team for the layer of dust on the floor and on the books

Like again, check out that dust.

the door wasn't even locked, so I'm surprised Daniel didn't come in here or have Sam come in here to check that Hawk didn't steal or trash anything.

Daniel I can't believe you left a bonsai in here by itself for at least 10 years.

Daniel's bonsai death count: 4

Though this one is totally understandable due to the grief. Mr. Miyagi was like losing his father again.

Daniel voice full of emotion holding the paint house paper: It's like a time capsule in here.

the night before they got married amanda saw Mr. Miyagi here. They had tea and sake. He told Amanda "Amanda-san in life, always easier to hide head in sand."

Mr. Miyagi said Daniel would always fight for what he believed in and nothing he believed in more then his family and friends.

Amanda: The right thing to do is stand up to Terry Silver, for you, for our family...sorry it took so long to realize that.

(Amanda he never filled you in on the details, you didn't know)

But he does need to hear, multiple times, that people hear him and have his back.

Sam and Johnny caught Robby up so he could be here for this not quite intervention intervention.

"you didn't fail me."

I beg to differ Robby, but I think you are get how dangerous Silver is and having some sort of clue of how bad it is probably allowed you to re-contextualize Daniel's previous actions and forgive them.

Trying to mentor Kenny truly was an eye opening experience for Robby.

I dunno man the, everyone coming together in the 11th hour vibe is my weakness. I know this isn't the 11th hour, but for Daniel and how it feels it is. He's got Johnny, he's got Chozen, he's got Robby back, the Eagle Fang kids and his own Miyagi-do, Anthony. Everyone is there to be like yo, this one we get. silver is messed up and we've got your back.

And in TKK3 no one believed him about Silver. And that might be one of the reasons he never has told anyone how bad it was. The trauma was too bad, and without Mr. Miyagi there the grief was too bad. But now he has 12 teens and three adults who have his back.

The fact even Amanda bows to him. Like this is really all she's been asking for is to be on the same page, to be looped in, because when she's part of the team and given warning she's always all in when it really matters.

We got some random new background students again.

[theliterarywolf]

So... Let's talk about Hetalia. Controversies, Specifically.

Tagging @apply-force-too-begin since they’re the one who was interested.

Hetalia was one of my first big fandoms outside of 'The Big Three' anime (Naruto, Bleach, One Piece) and outside of video games (mostly whatever wee babby weeaboo me could get on the Gamecube).

And, you know what? It's a dumb, silly anime about stereotypes, poking fun at the absurdities of History, and one's relationships with clashing cultures. It's dumb... But, remember, we all need our daily thirty minutes of dumb. And some of the characters are cute.

And, you know what? Most of the most engaging aspects of the fandom were those who used the initial shallow splash of history that the anime gave them to actually research and make engaging, well-written, culturally-sensitive content.

Of course, I'm not going to ignore how... Over-the-top some members of the fandom have been. We've seen how, whenever recent political conflict or natural disaster have occurred, we have to remind younger members of the Hetalia fandom to not cutsiefy it with the Hetalia characters. Examples that come to mind are: when the conflict between Russia and Ukraine was surging up, kids kept trying to draw art of 'Russia just wants his big sister back~!', and the last major earthquake that hit Japan that had people making fanart of the Japan character which, while some was tasteful and was meant to bring awareness and donations for Disaster Relief, not... all of it was...

Hell, that’s not even bringing into account the last time I went to Anime Expo (way back during Hetalia’s hayday), I was walking around and saw a bunch of Russia and Baltic State cosplayers being interviewed by the news and the one dressed up in a USSR uniform was holding up a Communist flag and shouting ‘Whoo! SOVIET TAKEOVER!!’

However, one thing that I have noticed, while researching for this write-up, was this:

Most of the controversies and pieces of fandom-wank that have surrounded Hetalia and its fandom... Aside from one instance... Are the results of the Western-fandom and Western-localization of the anime  via Funimation.

Aside from one... Most of the issues surrounding Hetalia are due to the West and not even the source media in of itself.

So, with that in mind, let's talk about the main controversies of both Hetalia and its fanbase.

Controversy 1 – The South Korea Controversy/Protests

As I recently answered a question about this, so I'll just pull that answer for this segment:

'To summarize it: there’s a Hetalia character meant to represent South Korea. As every Hetalia character has a gag related to them (America gorges himself on fast food and constantly proclaims himself to be the Hero, Italy is cowardly, Germany is constantly angry, China constantly builds Chinatowns wherever he goes and sells bootleg merchandise, etc), so did S. Korea.

His gag was calling all the other Asian countries ‘big brother’ as well as groping the chests of male characters (China and Japan mostly), proclaiming ‘these mountains belong to South Korea, da ze!’

Of course, people would draw pictures of S. Korea doing his thing but one day during a meeting between a bunch of South Korean politicians and representatives, someone brought out a piece of fanart that depicted S. Korea groping Japan’s chest with the latter looking embarrassed and what not.

They interpreted the character as being an offensive, lecherous stereotype that was somehow belittling S. Korea’s worth as a country.

There were a bunch of small protests until, finally, Himaruya Hidekazu (the creator of Hetalia) just decided to say “you know what? Fine! I’m not getting rid of the character but he’ll never appear in the anime adaptation, okay?!’

So… Yeah! Fun times…'

Magnitude of Controversy – MAJOR

Like... In what universe is 'this meme hurt my feewings, we need to take VALUABLE TIME DURING GOVERNMENT FORUMS to talk about it RATHER THAN OTHER PRESSING ISSUES' a good response? And the fact that people took to the streets to protest? Come on, guys! There's so much more to worry about in this world...

Controversy 2 – Emperor Heliogabalus and Himaruya's 'Transgender Erasure'

There was a section of time where Himaruya Hidekazu, rather than focusing on the nation characters of the series, made chapters and updates about certain historical figures. They were all done for laughs while interspersing various bits of trivia and facts about them.

One of these updates centered around the Roman emperor Heliogabalus (or 'Elagabalus'). And this is where certain portions of this hellsite got soooooo upset...

You see, Himaruya titled the update centered on Heliogabalus as 'The Emperor Who Tried to Live as a Woman... Even Though He Was Really a Guy'.

Almost immediately people were typing up callout posts about how 'transphobic' Himaruya was for the title and 'how dare he misgender my precious trans baby~!' or 'this just goes to show how ignorant Japanese people are to Western history' and so many more, all because Himaruya didn't use out-and-out female pronouns for Heliogabalus.

Now. Mm, two things!

One! This was during the time when Himaruya had an open blog where, not only did he post pictures and updates about where in the world he was traveling and what he was researching, but it also had an inbox that was open for people to send insight to him.

So, if people were really incensed by this, you would think that they would use such a means to let a creator know 'hey, this is kind of problematic; can you edit it to show this information', right?

Right?

NO ONE tried to inform Himaruya of their upset; they literally didn't want an answer, they just wanted to be upset!

But, here's the kicker: the guy that all of these people were stanning for? Emperor Heliogabalus?

WASN'T FUCKING TRANS!!

The real Heliogabalus was a sadistic little shit who was connivingly put on the throne by his mother via a bunch of espionage and assassinations... Who, as thanks, had his own mother murdered once he was emperor. Other wonderful exploits of this 'icon' that tumblr kids decided to stan was:

Getting politicians and countrymen drunk and then, while they were passed out, brought in lions to kill and eat them

Deciding 'fuck Jupiter, Helios is my husbando – We're all going to worship him now!'

Completely wrecking Rome's monetary system

Promising favors to his lovers (whom he called his 'husbands' despite not making anything official) that strictly contradicted favors to his other lovers

And just generally being a hot mess

So... why were tumblr children so insistent on him being a transgender woman?

You ready for this?

Okay.

Because he occaisionally dressed in women's clothing and called his male lovers his 'husbands'.

Yeah.

One of the earliest case of tumblr children trying to ruin someone's life because they didn't follow their headcanons.

Magnitude of Controversy – Honestly, this was just fandom-wank. But it was one of the earlier instances of fandom brats using serious terms (transphobia) to justify being upset at a creator not following their headcanons.

Controversy 3 – The Passover Photoshoot

…

…

I'm sorry, just...

Everytime I remember or have to go over this one, I have to stop and reflect; maybe grab a drink.

…

Okay.

So, pretty early into the Western reaches of the Hetalia fandom, a group of friends and Hetalia fans decided to meet up together at a mall for a cosplay photoshoot.

Okay. Cool. Fine.

They were all dressed up as their favorite characters from the series! Germany, Austria, Hungary, P-Prussia, Holy... Roman Empire...

Ahem. Okay. Cool. Fine.

So, they get to the mall and start taking pictures. But then someone in the group gets the amazing idea for everyone to do certain poses.

I... You know, why did I start this, I could have just not done thi--

Nazi salutes. You had a bunch of dumb kids dressed up as Germanic nations. Performing Nazi salutes and shouting 'Heil Hitler'.

Now, as bad as this was... you could have just drawn it out as shitty edgelord humor; we still have plenty of that going on today.

H-however. There were two factors that made this photoshoot 50 Shades of Tasteless.

Number one. This photoshoot took place during Passover.

And number two. The mall that this photoshoot took place at...

WAS JUST A HOP, SKIP, AND A JUMP FROM THE UNITED STATES HOLOCAUST MUSEUM!!!

This is the one, THE ONE, instance where, anytime someone talks about 'lol, young Hetalia fans are so cringey', this is what pops into my head.

Those of us older members of the fandom can never fucking forget this. Yeah, the perpetrators were called out; yeah, they learned their lessons, yeah it opened up a conversation about appropriate behavior in fandom. But this one event will always remain as the big 'Ooh, baby, nooooo! What are you doing?!' moment in the fandom.

Even moreso than what the current batch of hatedum is about.

Magnitude of Controversy – Huge. The South Korea controversy was discussed on a governmental scale, but the Passover Photoshoot is what remains as the biggest mark on the fandom.

Controversy 4 - FUCKING FUNIMATION!!

Okay, I... 

This one is so infuriating because it’s the result of Funimation just not giving a DAMN.

So, Hetalia got popular enough to be localized! Yay... And it was going to be handled by Funimation. Yay... They do quality work... Sometimes.

*kicks the Black Butler dub into the sun*

So, they dubbed Hetalia. And, you know what? So many questionable decisions went into this fucking dub. 

You have Vic Mignogna! You! *clap* Have! *clap* Vic! *clap* Mignogna! You could have easily put him as one of the Axis characters or the Allied characters and you...

Don’t use him...

Until three seasons down the line...

And then you have him as Greece. 

A character who barely says anything.

... And this was WAY before the clusterfuck of KickVic, so they really had no excuse. 

Oh, also! For China, who is a main character, maybe we should have an actual voice-actor?

Pssh! Fuck that shit, let’s just have some random chick from accounting voice him. 

... They literally had some random-chick from accounting do an overly stereotypical Chinese accent and said ‘yeah, that’s fine; print!’

And she gave us such... wonderful line-reads as: during the Hetalia movie Paint It, White! --

“SUCK BALLS! I knew za fortune cookie today was bad ruck~!”

But as bad as the dub got sometimes (Oh God, I’m having war flashbacks of Russia...), the exchange from the dub that people constantly point to as ‘see! This show was antisemitic all along!’ were these: 

Exchange 1 - 

S. Italy/Romano - ‘Hey asshole, I have a surprise for you~!’

Germany - ‘What is it? Another Jew?’

And, you know what? As asinine and idiotic as that brief exchange was... 

IT WASN’T IN THE ORIGINAL MATERIAL!

Funimation, in their infinite wisdom, wrote that in and thought ‘yeah, that’s fine; print!’

So, there goes another issue of ‘problem that only existed because of the idiocy of a Western presence’.

Magnitude of Controversy - Well, people are still talking about it, despite it literally being because of Funimation’s laziness, so...

'Controversy' 5 – The Civil War fanart

So, this segment will be short because it doesn't even need to exist. But, you may have noticed an upsurge in people hating on the series again; even going so far as to raid Discord servers for fans of the series with gore.

Hell, I even scrolled past one person doing a 'call to arms' for people to spam any server that has to do with Hetalia as a big 'gotcha'.

And you wanna know where this fandom-wank started?

Someone on tumblr re-posted an old piece of... questionable chibi fanart of Confederate!America and Union!America. Union!America is hiding a slave woman behind him while shouting at Confederate!America to 'Pick your own damn cotton!'

(deep breath... okay)

And, while the art in of itself is... not great, the fact that it is an old piece of fanart and that someone posted it onto tumblr for the 'lol, look at this cringe' lolz, is what rallied some people to start shitting on fans of the show and raiding servers.

There also may have been some drama over on picrew by some teenage LGBT user lashing out at the whole 'stop spamming Picrew with gay shit' sentiment and then some edgelord over on this hellsite screencapping their game and talking about 'lol, of course it would be a cringey Hetalian to post some dumb shit like this; get off the site, queer' but, honestly, this last one, while being the reason why people are acting dumber than usual, is the most inconsequential.

Magnitude of the Controversy – It would be minimal at best, especially compared to the other ones in this write-up, but like I said, it does have some trickling into the current hatedumb.

So, yeah, here was my little write-up/mini-dive into the madness. You guys can let me know if you want more insight or if you have any questions, and I love you and buh-bye!

[athina39]

Dead Apple Movie Report/Summary

as promised, here’s my reaction thread/summary/speculations/theories about the Dead Apple Movie!!! sorry it’s a day late orz

everything under the cut because IT’S LONG. the CR subs comparison is c/o Fayto-san!!!! i watched the movie in SE Asia, so it’s a different company who handled the subtitles/distribution (it’s ODEX).

here goes! (also a warning/enticement: i’m shamelessly biased towards chuuya and soukoku)

Extra Notes:

- we probably got ourselves perma-banned so many places yesterday (the restaurant where we had lunch, the coffeeshop we went to pre-movie, the foodcourt where we had our post-movie drink, the entire mall itself....) because we were..... quite wild haha

- we took up a whole row in the cinema and there was another group that had their own row behind us! they're chuuya fans too, which is always awesome. the girl behind me is educating her new-to-the-fandom friend to ship soukoku "even if dazai is an asshole", which is Big Mood.

- certain someones (lol) cough "walking dead show" whenever soda is onscreen;;;;; if only They Knew that was the actual theme of the show (more on that below)

- our group was the loudest in the squealing/shrieking ahahaha. and aside from the obvious chuuya and soukoku scenes, we were the loudest at: (1) ALL THE GIRLS (each time yosano/agatha/tsujimura/kyouka's mom appeared, there's guaranteed squealing; Kyouka is Best Girl); (2) akutagawa's Dynamic Entry & akutagawa's curl-up lol; (3) that scene in the OP with the pm dazai & ada dazai; (4) the backstab scene; (5) dazai's handcuff escape & pill swallow. we were also fairly loud at some of atsushi's scenes, but it was more out of laughter??? like.... tiger son, you're kinda unintentionally funny/narmy this movie;;;;

- the people behind us each time there's an atsukyou scene: "BUT. SHE'S. 14." / "she's cuuuute" / "but. she's. 14."

- drinking game: drink for (1) each time atsushi yells kyouka's name - you won't make it out alive within the first 30 mins. slightly easier version: drink for (2) each time there's an orphanage flashback. fast-paced version: drink for (3) each time the "CLAWSSSS" was repeated

Movie Itself:

- chuuya's dynamic entry is so cool, pink motorbike included. like 30% of movie budget probably went to the animation of that scene. it's also asdfghk;da that chuuya tooling/destroying buildings is like, part of his theme in this movie. also, it makes me excited to see a pm days!soukoku driving a car to a mission - they both drive like hell lol

- dazai's "hi, chuuya~" haunts me until now, like. stop sounding so sassy and flirty, gdI but then again, dazai's teasing voice when he talks to chuuya the entire time is sassy and flirty so. asdfhgla

- dazai's “It would have been interesting if Chuuya got struck with lightning instead.” made us shriek because pre-movie, we were discussing that the French term for lightning strike, "le coup de foudre" is associated with love at first sight

- dazai complaining that because chuuya arrived 5 mins late, dazai had to get hit 3 times & chuuya just rolling with that = old married couple vibe much;;;;

- on a more serious note - it's very interesting to see this side of chuuya - in his previous appearances, he was the type to immediately blow his fuse whenever dazai says something to infuriate him, but this time, while he still bickers with dazai, there's a serious edge to it? chuuya's about to deal with the cause of death of his sheep fa(r)m, after all.

- (also - wtf was that dude holding a gun to dazai's head doing??? he just allowed dazai, his hostage, to fucking talk in the communicator the entire time???? bro, you ok??? are you sure you're a villain??? it would be funny tho if the 3 smacks that dazai was talking was 1 smack per sentence that he said on the communicator - because he did say 3 hahaha)

- chuuya activating For The Tainted Sorrow wordlessly (come to think of it, he has never said anything to activate For The Tainted Sorrow? like, everyone else says their ability name....) and on a whole building range = fucking lit. i wonder how's the range/control for his ability... because he managed to knock every single one of the mooks (incl the Lightning User) on that building rooftop in like, 3 seconds. and he managed to do it *without* crushing his bike, which is also on the roof, so he's able to do fine-tune who can be affected.

- chuuya so very tsun-tsun and dishonest when he wants to "help"!!! like aside from destroying buildings, being married w/dazai and being beautiful - one of chuuya's themes in the movie is that.... he does things that others tell him to, in two ways. one is if it's an order/job - which he'll only take from his superior/boss. another is if it's a debt he has to repay.

- soukoku then meets shibusawa; dazai says that all the gems that shibu's throwing away are wasted and it would have made for a good gift to women. chuuya asks for shibu to return the sheep fa(r)m, but shibu says that the sheep won't return because they committed the (apple) suicide. (so the sheep are Ability users? at least these six?)

- in the crunchyroll ver, shibu calls chuuya (&dazai?) "boring guests", while in odex ver, he calls them "bored guests"

- upon hearing confirmation that sheep fa(r)m is deader than dead, chuuya activates corruption wordlessly and tells dazai to not stop him. dazai actually acquiesces to that order w/o mouthing off, so it's good to see that he actually acknowledges how important it is for chuuya to avenge the sheep fa(r)m, despite the events in 15...

- building with soukoku&shibu explodes....... and camera pans to dramatically billowing in the wind coat of fyodor as he watches the proceedings, and calls it great entertainment. (so fyodor has already seen corruption at work? hmmmmm)

- re: the ADA briefing re: shibusawa....... like. ranpo-san. if you already knew how everything will happen/end......can you like.......inform the rest of ADA too......

- the fog events where a fog appears then disappears after a *few minutes* leaving behind a corpse of an Ability user started 3 years ago. the info that they have on shibu is that he's 29, he's an ability user, he goes by "collector", and he's the person responsible for the fog events

- also laughing at how... the meeting kunikida & tanizaki went to, to meet with the Special Ops agent... so shady hahaha. though apparently, this is the first time that the "calling card" of a stabbed, juicy apple is left behind.

- tanizaki: "why an apple?" / kunikida: "how should i know?" asd;sfha;ds why is that your main concern tanizaki, there's a dead person there in front of you hahahaha

- (flashback to bar lupin - dazai asking soda if he knows about apple suicides & soda replying that it's cinderella..... and dazai saying that soda is really interesting because of that.....dazai, your definition of interesting.... is if people don't know cultural/literary references? and soda's an aspiring author at this point??? do you sure??? and dazai giving such motives to snow white ahahaha, the definition of overthinking....;;;)

- dazai gets ambushed by ango in front of bar lupin after dazai took the pill (that would supposedly eventually act as an antidote) (like.....how the fuck did dazai end up hiding that pill in his mouth for that long and he kept on talking a lot and it didn't slip or melt wHAT) & ango says that dazai's the one who brought shibu back to yokohama;;; dazai doesn't get captured by ango's team, bec that's when the fog appears

- (atsushi sleeps inside kyouka's closet???? like............why. i thought he had his own dorm room before??? and kyouka's apparently living (in the dorm???) that's quite far away from the agency itself, bec they had to walk a long way to reach the agency?? i was initially thinking it was like, just behind the office or just the next street over hahaha

- ADA budget apparently is spent on high-tech communicators (just use special satellite phones asdj;asd) and fancy gun storage. i'm a bit disappointed that there wasn't a flamethrower. also, the gun that kuni gave atsushi??? had so many fucking bullets.

- ango and his team is able to monitor the fog in yokohama so they're.... not in yokohama? do they have like an airship or something? the fog is apparently able to remove any non-ability users in the vicinity & separate the ability user from his gift. ango reveals that the HQ of the enemies is an abandoned tower called Mukurotoride in the middle of yokohama and i'm just.... did nobody ever think that an abandoned tower in the middle of a busy city isn't damn suspicious???? it's apparently been there for a long time ffs

- (atsushi has this one-track mind that because dazai saved him, then dazai must be good at all costs, which is. i'd love to say it's because he trusts dazai, but it's more like those fanatic belief, really. it would be great if the manga can explore this deeper - because atsushi's hypocrisy is a really interesting facet of his character. atsushi who doesn't even want to point his gun towards the enemy abilities in the beginning and who say that 'even if he's a villain, we don't know the type of person he is...' 'no matter how bad they are, there's no need to kill them', but when akutagawa says that bec dazai is an enemy now, he'll kill him, atsushi reflexively points a gun at aku...)

- ango's subordinates track chuuya (A5158) down and sends him a message to "pay his debt to professor glasses"

- bitch trio scene! shibusawa's theme of boredom bec he's apparently that much of a genius whose intellect can't be surpassed. dazai says that he's just like shibu before, bored beyond belief. when shibu asks dazai how he's surpassed it, dazai claims that he's going to show shibu and that shibu doesn't know what's dazai's true intentions. shibu shoots it down by saying that it's only dazai who thinks he's fushigi mystery. dazai says that shibu needs salvation.... by either an angel or a demon.

- and because call a demon and he'll appear, fyodor appears. who tells the two that they're the only ones who think they're being mysterious because they're pretty easy to read. (shibu then calls fyodor "Majin Fyodor-kun" ahhh). dazai claims that fyodor's the one most likely to betray shibu, which fyodor agrees with. shibu just says that there hasn't been anyone who surpassed his expectations, so he's looking forward to it.

- during the entire bitch trio scene, there's a focus on apples and a certain skull.

- aku telling kyouka that she now has the opportunity to kill him in an ability-less world asdfgh;lasd

- the PM apparently has made an emergency passage specially made to counteract ability user-attacks and can't be penetrated by the fog?? i wonder how they made it?? a nullifying ability from dazai??? hmm

- aku says that the fog is a "dragon's breath" & aku schooling atsushi on information gathering is asdfjg;asd (i wonder who gave the info to aku though....? probs mori haha)

- at this point, i'm gonna jump the explanations and go with - during this entire movie, shibusawa is already dead. he's a walking dead. except for That One Flashback, shibu is dead.

- shibu then welcomes the bitch trio to his collection room, Draconia. which is filled with crystallized abilities. the room has abilities that are bright red and dull red - apparently, all the ability users that is engulfed with the mist will have crystals in the room - once the ability user has been defeated by their ability, the ability will be crystallized and will become a bright red gem inside the collection room. the collected ability can then be taken and used by anyone who's holding the red gem.

- fyodor says that the collection is enough to make a devil jealous, while shibu says that fyodor sold him information about most of the ability users in his collection, which is how he was able to collect them. (remember in the Fyodor v A chapter - fyodor got himself captured so he can steal the notes/docs about Port Mafia members. *more on this below)

- Shibusawa: But how did you gather all that information? Fyodor: Every city is filled with rats. Dazai: Meow.

- that meow also haunts me hahahaha

- shibu then basically says that he's actually just looking for That One Special Ability to make the collection worthy

- akuatsukyou arrive at the end of the passage? but it's foggy, so either the fog is stronger, they're outside of the passage, or aku's lying about the passage being impenetrable by the fog asd;fasd

- Shibusawa: To me, people are nothing but machines of flesh, behaving in identifiable ways. But there is just one person I fail to comprehend. Myself. Dazai: Don't you have any friends? Shibusawa: I don't need friends. I understand everyone's mind, after all. I will surely go to the world beyond, between my lines, past the blank spaces. Dazai: You wouldn't be saying that if you actually had friends.

- this exchange is just so asdfgj'asds like pls you two

- akutagawa summarizes rashomon's ability as.... "to change a cloth to a blade and send it flying towards the enemy". i'm so proud of how aku's able to utilize that ability and create so many things (so demon armor is literally like a suit of blades??? damn son);;; (also, this brings to mind the saying "silk hiding steel" hahaha)

- aku defeating rashomon by slapping it towards the vat of lava..... damn son again;;;; aku going "just as planned", then rashomon apparently survives and aku changes it to "just as i expect from my own ability" ahahahaha.... and aku telling rashomon that he should quiet down and that he belongs in there (in his coat).... ahh bless him

- atsushi shattering the crystal on Byakko by shoving the blade inside its mouth.... is apparently Foreshadowing for something later

- chuuya complaining that he's being expected to go to ango's facility by one phone call.... but chuuya.... you still went..... ;;;;;

Chuuya: You've got some nerve, expecting me to answer your phone call like I'm on your beck and call. Ango: May we have some time alone? This is a government facility. You don't expect to get away doing something like this, do you? (referring to chuuya probs destroying a dozen doors in the process of him reaching ango's office) Chuuya: I'll be the one to decide if I do or not. Not you. Ango: You have a debt to me. Chuuya: No, you have a debt with me. Ango: What are you talking about? Chuuya: Don't act dumb. Do you think I'm stupid? It's about what happened six years ago. Ango: What do you mean? Chuuya: It was the government who sent Shibusawa into the Dragon Head Conflict. It was supposed to end the conflict that had engulfed all of Yokohama. But he never had any intention of maintaining peace. All you did was create more corpses. You sheltered him anyway, because he's a gifted that can help in protecting the nation. That's why, not only did you turn a blind eye to all the corpses he'd produced overseas, you covered it all up. Ango: All for the peace in this nation. Chuuya (grabbing Ango): Watch your mouth, professor glasses. If you hadn't sent him out, all six of my friends would be alive right now. Ango: Will you kill me? I wouldn't mind. I've been prepared ever since I'd decided to ask for your assistance. Chuuya (throwing Ango aside): It's a deal, then. I'll accept your job. And you'll pay with your life.

- back at the creepy beautiful castle:

- fyodor and dazai utter the "keikaku doori" line, which means shit is about to go down - apparently fyozai had made a team-up to sneak into the collection room w/o shibu knowing - dazai reveals that he worked to "guide" shibu in yokohama because shibu is someone that can't be touched because he has the protection of the government... which means that he'll just continue filling up his collection room with ability users and japanese gov't will just turn a blind eye to it, and therefore shibu must be stopped by other means - fyodor says that even w/o dazai meddling with shibu, shibu would create a fog in yokohama. - fyodor takes out 2 abilities. 1st ability can summon all ability users in the area and teleport them to a single place. 2nd can turn the abilities of the gifted who touch it into crystals. (was A a foreshadowing for this all along? A's ability is to change the lifespan of his subordinates to jewels....what is with fyodor and ability users re: gems hahah) - fyodor holds up the 2 gems so that dazai can touch it and nullify it

- (a side note: at this point, here are the characters who've been shown to still retain their abilities: Dazai, Chuuya, Fyodor*more on this later; Dazai because his nullification still works; Chuuya, because he still had that glowy red when he dealt with ango and cracked an entire office wall in the process)

- the logic is that, if dazai touches the 2 gem abilities... the crystals will be broken and the abilities will return to their "former state"*** (v important) and the ability to summon all ability users in one place (aka The Fog) will be cancelled and therefore fog will disappear

- fyodor offers the 2nd gem first... dazai touches it.... but instead of the abilities returning to their owners, the abilities escaped from the crystal shells inside the collection room and fused into one

- before dazai can work on dispelling the fog by touching the 1st gem, shibusawa stabs dazai in the back with a fruit knife. shibu says that he expected this, bec nothing surpasses his expectations. dazai just blandly says "i see... so this is where the betrayal happens", bec fyodor had supposedly locked the door to the collection room when they entered it, but woopsie, apparently not, because fyodor values entertainment

- dazai asks shibu what's his next step, but shibu says that his target is dazai anyway, so there's "no next"

- dazai says that he didn't expect a fruit knife to hurt this bad, so there must be poison in it

- shibu tells dazai that he can now taste the death he's longed for dearly

- in CR subs: dazai says: "How could you? This feels great" while in ODEX subs, dazai says: "What have you done? This doesn't feel great at all", which i think makes more sense

- fyodor says that "with the owner dead, the ability leaves him", and dazai "dies" and "no longer human" crystallizes

- (a side note: so it's confirmed that if ability user dies, ability leaves him.... but what happens to it next? is it transferred to a next person? how about its effects? the people that yosano healed... will their effects be gone and therefore the people will regain their wounds??)

- shibu holds NLH in his palms. shibu's very excited to see NLH crystallized because it very blue (as opposed to the red-gem abilities), the blue changes to red, gemblocking him.

- (presumably, NLH activates?? but.... fyodor held the two gems before and they didn't really activate.... but maybe they didn't because they were already active??)

- Fyodor: The merging ability (the 1st gem, aka: The Fog, aka Shibusawa's Ability) and the disabling ability (NLH). With the two contrary abilities becoming one, a singularity is born. Even with Dazai's special ability, what you really desire-- your lost memories-- will never come back.

- fyodor then says that he'll help shibu recover his memories, and slits his throat

- (joint orphanage flashback time!! c/o atsu and shibu as shibu regains his memories! shibu experiments on young atsushi by electrocuting him. shibu says that the president was mistaken about atsushi's ability, implying that atsushi's real ability isn't Beast Underneath the Moonlight. it's apparently a Very Special Ability, but atsushi's not able to use it properly because of his youth/inexperience. shibu says that even he isn't able to pull the ability out and collect it with his fog.

- in CR subs, shibu says that: "It's the only special ability that won the envy of all other gifted." // in ODEX subs, shibu says that: "It's a special ability that can grant the wishes of other ability users"

(a side note - if his real ability is an ability that can grant his wish, it's possible that atsushi probably read a picture book somewhere or got influenced into thinking that Tigers are Bad. his ability goes haywire, bec it was too strong and he was too young to control it, so atsushi's ability has formed into a tiger because atsushi needed something to blame. something beastly. something monstrous. he can't accept that he himself is the one who's hurting others, so he has formed his ability to turn to a tiger. the regeneration, the shounen power ups... they're not very "tiger-like" or it'd make for a very OP tiger, so his ability could be to make his wishes to reality, like "i want to heal!", "i want to be strong!" and the tiger is just the form that atsushi can deal with/can understand. you can even say..... that byakko is his fursona;;;; *gets kicked*)

(more side note: irl!atsushi wrote a story Tiger Poet, which features a man changing to a tiger....that is a poet... so he might have read that story and got an idea re: the tiger. there's a quote there, "We are all the trainers of wild beasts and the beasts in question are our own inner-selves.", which could be atsushi getting the idea of personifying his ability as a tiger so he can "tame it", aka control his ability)

- anyway, young atsushi didn't enjoy the electrocutions, the tiger takes over and claws shibusawa's face off, killing him

- shibu then says that the reason why he targeted atsushi to begin with is because he heard from a Russian named Fyodor that atsushi's ability is special (see the same contrast betw the CR and ODEX subs noted above)

- present time, fyodor then confirms that shibu died at that point. But. upon death, shibusawa apparently inherited a new ability - the ability to split himself (his soul? spirit?) away from his corpse. his body (aka, the skull that's been there the entire time) is the one who remembers death while his mind doesn't remember it and has retreated into a room (the Collection Room) to deal with his Feelings. (so it means that the shibu soukoku faced off in the beginning is walking dead shibu as well, because apparently shibu has gone for the gem collection quest after his death)

- a side note: so Shibusawa's Real/Original Ability is The Fog (1st ability can summon all ability users in the area and teleport them to a single place....and presumably "pull" the ability away from them). after dying, he got the ability to separate his mind from his corpse (redefining mind over matter), presumably given to him by fyodor?. he then gets the ability to turn abilities into crystals, presumably given to him by fyodor too?, then because he's basically a ghost wandering around earth, he tries to find a reason for "existing" to fulfill the void, which leads him to gathering abilities (*more on this later)

- the abilities continue fusing to each other, creating a huge mass. dazai's "dead" body is sucked into that mass.

- fyodor comments that dazia is quite greedy, because even in death, he intends to watch the city fall into destruction. fyodor then says that as congratulation for their anniversary of being friends (LOL; also - they've known each other for a year already? or is fyodor gigglesnorting here and considering that very same day as the start of their friendship?), he'll tell the dead dazai the reason why he managed to keep his ability in the fog.

- a "2nd" fyodor appears, the personification of his ability. he looks exactly like him. they say the "I am crime. I am punishment. Did you know? Crime and punishment are close friends." line ahahaha

- fyodor merges with his ability

- the mass of abilities that sucked dazai in changes for to a dragon

- fyodor reveals that the dragon is the form of the chaos of special abilities. (remember that "original state of abilities" that fyodor said above? apparently, it's a dragon)

- the singularity anomaly readings are over 9000, more than the events 6 years ago (aka, the opening scene). ango checks on chuuya's location to see if he's on his way

Ango: Chuuya-kun... Dazai-kun is almost certainly eliminated by now.Do you understand what that means? (implying that if chuuya ends up using corruption, there's no dazai who'll nullify it, therefore he'll also die) Chuuya: I don't care. Ango: Are you sure? You haven't taken your reward... My life. Chuuya: Don't get cocky, asshole. You were a just lowly infiltrator six years ago. It's not like anyone would have listened to you if you had opposed their plan to use Shibusawa.  (Chuuya lowkey implying that he actually doesn't blame Ango all that much, despite all his talk earlier) Chuuya: This is nothing but that idiot's plans. That Dazai is still inside there. No doubt about it. I need to give him a smack, or I'll never get over it. I'm hanging up.

(can i just say.... chuuya.... even though he has no proof of it whatsoever, he believes that dazai's still alive and waiting for him. ango, who can see the readings of the ability users, knows that dazai's dead. but chuuya----he doesn't need that kind of logic. unconditional trust is here, folks. also, the theories about chuuya actually being able to read dazai's plans/motives??? hell yes)

- chuuya's in a plane approaching the castle (so confirmed that ango's office really is floating over yokohama??? or at least not near it?)

Tsujimura: We're approaching the target. Chuuya: You're that chick from way back. Tsujimura: I'm Tsujimura. Are you really going? Chuuya: Yeah. Tsujimura: It's no use. No human can defeat it. That thing is a monster beyond human comprehension. Get overconfident and fight it, and you'll die. (lowkey spoilers about chuuya being beyond human, thanks bones) Chuuya: That's not a reason to chicken out and go home. Do you know when it's all right to chicken out and go home? Tsujimura: I do not. Chuuya (jumping off the plane): There is no such time.

(chuuya's badass way of removing his gloves and jumping off and his hat and coat flying off???? the whole cinema SCREAMED)

- chuuya chants the "grantors of dark disgrace" line and corruption activates

- chuuya lands on a building, breaks it down to chunks and launches them at the dragon (with dazai inside hahaha)

- extended battle scene with chuuya just battling a dragon, which is the force of a fuckton of ability users' abilities combined, and nailing it. like. just. think about it. the dragon is formed by the force of all the abilities. and there's like, more than 128 of them (as per the initial briefing with ADA). chuuya actually defeated the force of that many ability users. fuck.

- chuuya jumps down to a huge-ass building, floats it and uses it to beat up a dragon. a building is being used as a baseball bat to hit a dragon. the sheer scale and ridiculousness of how powerful he is??? amazing.

- chuuya ends up ramming the building to the dragon's mouth. that's how the fight ends. he makes the dragon choke on AN ENTIRE BUILDING.

- chuuya then yells "DAZAIIIIIIIIIIII" as the dragon explodes (while he's still in corruption mode)

- chuuya reaches dazai, who's inside the dragon, and chuuya (still in corruption mode) punches dazai in the face

- the punch is apparently the key needed for dazai to bite down on the pill, releasing the antidote to the poison (if only romeo and juliet knew about this method...)

- dazai lives. chuuya coughs out blood from using corruption for too long.

- they float in the air and dazai. just. softly touches chuuya's cheek, disabling corruption.

Dazai: You believed in me and used Corruption? I'm so touched I could cry. Chuuya: Yeah, I did. I believed in your disgusting craftiness and refusal to die.* Dazai: That was a somewhat violent way of waking Snow White. Chuuya: You're the one who planned it by hiding an antidote in your mouth, knowing I'd punch you.

...JUST.

dazai's voice.

chuuya. admitting that he believes in dazai. in ODEX subs, it was "i believed in the fact that you wouldn't die", which is extra doki in that ----- even though they've said "i'll kill you" to each other so many times (even in the beginning of the movie) and even though chuuya knows about dazai's double suicide longings.... he still believes that dazai wouldn't die.

and just. dazai implying that he's snow white. and chuuya just rolling with it????? dazai implying that chuuya's the prince who woke up snow white. and chuuya just rolling with it????????

this is high-level flirting i CANNOT

and chuuya KNOWING that him being here is part of dazai's plans and him being here anyways knowing that (even though he had mentioned about dazai's plans always toying with him---)--------------- i CANNOT

Chuuya: Let go, asshole. Dazai: (*dazai presses down on chuuya's head to prevent him from moving*) Don't move. The fog hasn't cleared. I don't want to have to protect you from your special ability in this situation. Chuuya: It's still not over? Dazai: No, it's just beginning. Chuuya: Shit. I can't even move a single finger. (Chuuya collapses into Dazai's thigh, his face/chin landing on Dazai's upper right thigh/hip) Dazai: I predicted things this far. But the rest is on them.

and of course. the lap scene. the scene that killed everyone in the cinema. just. there's no words that can bring it justice. the fuwafuwa atmosphere. the shoujo music background during the floating then the lap scene. the sound of dazai's hand patting chuuya's head. the body placements. the camera angles. that pic in the magazine???? oh boy the actual scene, the extended scene is 10000000000x gayer.

just think.

dazai. who shoved atsushi off when he fell on him.

dazai. who had chuuya fall on his crotch and legs and just. let him stay there. like yes, the point is that dazai has to keep on touching chuuya so he can nullify chuuya's ability and therefore not have his powerful ability have a separate form that can fight them. but they didn't have to stay in that position, did they? i mean, chuuya can't move but dazai could have shoved him off, right? he could have touched him using anything else but keeping him between his legs and patting his head/hair right.

.............BUT WAIT.

dazai.

before he "died".

he.

already nullified the ability to form abilities to crystals. the only ability left is shibusawa's fog, which can trap ability users in one place and extract the ability from them (and just that. the abilities shouldn't be trying to hunt down their "owners" anymore, because no more moon crystal power. right???)

so.

dazai........didn't really have to keep touching chuuya then?

.......is that so. huh.

.....i see.

sasuga dazai.

(i mean even that conjecture is incorrect - as in the Fog can also make abilities fight their owners, aside from just extracting them..... did dazai really have to touch chuuya like that????? .....he really did, huh. i see. sasuga dazai)

.........also. the ability, even if given form, only attacks the owner. (except for that lol-worthy case of rashomon and the tiger having different ideas and attacking each other). so if dazai, as he says, really hates chuuya and wants him to die...... he can..... just let the ability kill chuuya, right??? he doesn't *have* to protect chuuya from it, right? his keikaku that will allow him to use the antidote pill is done, right....? ....ah, but he has to protect chuuya... i see.... sasuga dazai) (unless dazai thinks that chuuya's ability would also hunt him down, in which case.......... dazai, you think yourself that important to chuuya that his ability will hunt you too, huh...... i see.... sasuga dazai)

....also.

dazai.

saying that this is within his predictions, while he's holding the collapsed chuuya to his thigh. still with his hands on chuuya's head. dazai....... why are you predicting that chuuya will end up in your lap. more importantly, why does your predictions END once you have chuuya in your lap. you're leaving the akuatsukyou children to fend for themselves and didn't predict the next parts because you got chuuya in your lap already. .....i see. sasuga dazai;;;;

(a sidenote. from above. fyodor sold the port mafia's information re: ability users to shibusawa. the ability users that shibu knows about will be in the collection room, their abilities getting taken from them. chuuya has his ability The Entire Movie. he didn't lose for the tainted sorrow, at all. so.

- chuuya's ability too strong and can't be extracted, just like atsushi - OR chuuya's ability not in port mafia records - OR chuuya's info is there, but incorrect/incomplete - OR chuuya's info is there, fyodor kept chuuya's ability's information and didn't sell it (a good theory for fyoya fans???) - OR collection room can only get abilities from humans?

(signs point to the first one....... but the other options are also hmmmmm)

- fyodor planting a broken crystal of shibusawa's original ability crystal on the skull's head (it looks like a goddamn horn) so that shibu becomes the "point of singularity" in lieu of the dragon bec dragon is dead. fog continues.

- shibusawa realizing that all his plot?? at collecting abilities? is just his way of trying to cope with the fact that his real thirst lies with atsushi. no really. he just really, really, really wants to see atsushi again.

- another sidenote: AGATHA IS A QUEEN. also, we're laughing about how Agatha is in command of EU. (no brexit in BSD world, apparently) (but also crying a bit because..... Verlaine and Rimbaud and the Trancendentals could be part of the clock tower order??? because there's 12 Transcendetals, there's 12 #s in a clock and they're from france, therefore europe, therefore part of EU therefore----)

- THAT FUKUMORI BACK TO BACK SCENE. MOTHER OF FUCK. mori having faith in dazai's keikaku..... but he's wrong.... because dazai's keikaku had already ended a few minutes ago, with chuuya in his lap. (but really. so mori can't 100% predict dazai, apparently. because mori thinks that it's still within dazai's plan, but dazai says it's not anymore, so.) also. mori being able to kill the ability-elise but not doing so because of the power of cute??? wow, just wow.

Mori: Fukuzawa-dono. Fukuzawa: What a coincidence, Mori-sensei. Mori: Are you having a problem? Fukuzawa: I've just had a glimpse of a solution. Mori: Excellent. Is it not at times like these that your daily actions speak? (They attack each other's abilities) Fukuzawa: I thought you only used your scalpel. I'll be careful from now on. Mori: No mercy, even for an endearing girl. The lone swordsman, Silver Wolf. You are indeed full of sin.* (CR: you are indeed guilty; ODEX: you are indeed, full of sin) Fukuzawa: That was nothing but a demon. Elise: Hey, Rintarou! What the heck are you doing, leaving me behind?! Mori: It's the real Elise-chan~ Fukuzawa: I think she's a demon either way.

- the akukyouatsu v shibu fight continues, with shibusawa basically saying, "ATSUSHI THE LIGHT OF MY LIFE" in repeat. the reference re: tiger v dragon is brought up. shibu says that he's not bored anymore bec atsushi's there.

- the tiger and the dragon are enemies. (more on that here: http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TigerVersusDragon) apparently, because the dragon represents all the abilities fused together, the tiger is the opposite (......so..... tiger = no abilities? hmmmmm. no wonder fyodor wants him. it's the fulfillment of his goal of a world without abilities, then?). shibu says that atsushi's ability is the opposite of all the abilities, the most special ability of all. atsushi's ability crystallizes, but before shibu can take it, atsushi grabs and says "that's not an ability, that's me!"

- (side note:

- i wasn't expecting that atsushi (whether it's the beast underneath the moonlight or the possibility that his is an ability that takes the form of his desires/wishes) would be the opposite of all the abilities. i would think it's more of dazai's or someone who can erase an ability, but. MC powers? - then again. all of shibusawa's info came from fyodor. so it's also highkey possible that this is all Fake News from fyodor)

Shibusawa: I understand everything, now. Why I'm here, why you appeared before me, and what his words mean... You... You must be the angel who saves me.

- shibu proving dazai right that "an angel" saved him, though technically a "demon" saved him "from death" before too....

- atsushi kills shibu for the second time by crushing his skull

- AGATHA. BEING DISAPPOINTED. THAT YOKOHAMA IS SAVED. because. "The scent of a burning nation goes well with tea." AGATHAAA

- at the end of fighting, chuuya's propped up against the wall of rubble (YOU KNOW THE ONE). his hat apparently landed a few feet away from him. (did dazai drag him there so he can be near his hat? did dazai look for the hat?? did the hat get magically pulled to where chuuya is??).

akutagawa appears.

chuuya asks what the hell is he doing here, then says that the idiot dazai is safe.

akutagawa..... bows to chuuya.

like damn.

akutagawa "DON'T YOU ORDER ME, YOU FOOL" ryuunosuke, bowing down to chuuya. a+++++++++

but then akutagawa starts to leave chuuya behind ahahahaha

and chuuya goes..... what, you're just gonna leave me here when you see i can't walk what. but seriously, his line is: "Oi. Lend me a shoulder."

(so.... dazai and chuuya were together till daybreak, in time for chuuya to wake up, for the spoonDI cover to be shot, for them to have matching bruises on their lips in that photo, huge smiles in their faces, for dazai to change clothes, for chuuya to be unable to walk.......... i don't to say they banged in the rubble, but they totally banged in the rubble.)

- dazai basically saying that, welp i did this keikaku and harmed so many things! - atsushi: but dazai is helping yokohama!!! - Dazai: Do I look like such a good person?

- atsushi.... i want to say it's your trust or that it's your naivete, but...... are you sure you have eyes lol

- dazai reveals that he hopes that shibu managed to fill his boredom and loneliness..... dazai, stop projecting your issues on others. stop helping others with your same issues achieve happiness.... do it to yourself first please.....

- as the ending song plays... we have this scene from ango:

Ango: Given the complexity of the three masterminds' motivations, we still don't have a full picture. Dazai-kun's the same as usual, and demon Fyodor's intentions are impossible to comprehend. But, beyond all the scheming and lying, the incident may fundamentally be very simple. How is a man like Shibusawa, so intelligent that others look like alien creatures to him, to act, to be destroyed, or to be saved? To be one of three aliens in the world, in isolation and loneliness... I can't even imagine it.

.....like, given the movie. it really is a good summary. all these genius aliens.... they actually have such simple thoughts.

- shibu did all of that, but he just really wanted to see atsushi again. - fyodor did all of that, but he just really wanted to be a bitch and have fun. (and maybe kill all ability users eventually) - dazai did all of that, but he just really wanted to try an apple suicide and be saved just like snow white.

.....one of it is not like the others, ahahaha;;;;;;

- chuuya looking beautiful in the ending scene, as he talks with mori

Chuuya: Were you aware of the trick, Boss? (*referring to dazai not really dying? and using that antidote pill?) Mori: Dazai-kun was acting on his own, and I expected he would need your help. As a forerunner. Chuuya: So I was an opening act? Mori: Dazai-kun decides the star. (in ODEX: Dazai-kun was the one who decided on the star.) Chuuya: And what do I get in return? Mori: The return of order in this city. Chuuya: The peace of this city, huh? Mori: Good work. Chuuya: You don't need to thank me. It was your order, so I'm just doing my job.

- asdfgj;asd - mori #1 soukoku shipper confirmed. like. even if he has that much faith in dazai's plans (see above), he also has a lot of belief that dazai's plans will work if chuuya's there to help.

and that "dazai decides the star"/"dazai decided (on you) being the star.... and chuuya....... just rolling with it. he's not ok with simply being an "opening act" ahhaahh. and mori knowing that dazai made the plan with chuuya having the starring role. and chuuya Knowing that too.

and here comes chuuya's concept of "reward" again.... does this boy get paid.......

chuuya's reward being yokohama's peace???? is he really part of the mafia??????????? a pure boy. someone give him the yokohama peace prize.

- second to the last scene is fyodor still creeping on them:

Fyodor: Everything is but entertainment. But in order to end this world, rife with crime and punishment, I really do need that book. The blank novel sleeping in this town.

(so Book's location is confirmed to be in Yokohama at this point)

- final scene with ADA doing business as usual and atsukyou going out for a mission? to buy crepes? to buy chazuke? idk

[vladfad]

Coffee Ground-Zero

This is another fart fetish story I wrote a while ago, it is a sequel to my previous story, and contains some scat. I don’t think it’s aged too well, but then again it’s my most faved story on DA so... Maybe that’s just me being harsh on myself. Hope you enjoy.

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*BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP!* "Urgh..." Kristi felt her joints creek as she awoke from her slumber. Her eyes slowly opened to find she was not in the comfort of her bed, but was indeed lying fully clothed on her sofa. She glanced at her TV set. She must have fallen asleep watching that Political Documentary about British Parliament and society in the 60's to the 90's. She had planned to write an article on it. But instead, she saw the open DVD case for Megadeth's Live show, Rude Awakening. Fuck, Kristi thought, I need to stop procrastinating and watch that documentary... Maybe tonight. *BEEP BEEP! BEEP BEEP!* "Dammit... Stupid alarm..." Kristi gazed at the alarm clock at the other side of the room. She must have brought into the main living area in case she fell asleep. She reached down and pulled a pillow she was sat on from under herself. *FWOOOO-CRASH!* Kristi sent the pillow spiraling through the air. It hit the alarm and switched it off, but also knocked it onto the ground. She sighed, glad the alarm was no longer pestering her. She glanced around the room, noticing a few things lying around from last night. Se noticed 4 empty bottles of Doom Bar beer on the coffee table. That explains the headache... She then noticed a box of pizza next to her on the sofa. There was still a third left in the box. It's not like me to eat less than one pizza... Kristi then looked at the cardboard disposal box, where two pizza boxes were stored. That makes more sense. Swinging her legs off of the sofa, she went to tidy away the bottles and put the pizza box on the dining table. Kristi then grabbed the alarm clock off of the floor and returned it to the bedroom. The last thing to put back was the cushion. Out of curiosity, she held the pillow up to her nose and sniffed deep. Mmmm, meat-feast~, she thought. She must have been ripping ass in her sleep. She chucked it back over onto the sofa. Kristi pulled her phone out of her pocket. 1 new message, the screen read. Kristi unlocked her phone and checked the message. It was from Laura. Kristi blushed. She'd met Laura 2 days ago at the mall. Laura had gotten briefly stuck in a lift with Kristi, and had seemed desperate for the toilet (She'd mentioned something about lactose intolerance, Kristi could relate). Kristi did the noble thing and cleared the nearest bathroom with a powerful, potent release. One thing lead to another, and now the two were... Dating? Kristi wasn't quite sure. Despite feeling sympathetic for her, she hardly knew Laura. Kristi opened the message. Laura: Got the day off. Do U want 2 get coffee? Mall 4 lunch? Kristi smiled. She was glad she didn't have to initiate the first date. She always felt awkward asking out of nowhere, Hey, do you want to go out? Get something to eat, stuff ourselves silly, get kinky? Even just now, she was starting to take her offer too far. She swiftly moved her fingers across the touchscreen. Kristi: Ok. See you soon xx Rrrrrrrrbbbbrrrrrrlllllrrrrggggrrrr... Kristi looked down at her stomach as it rumbled ominously. She hadn't gone to the toilet this morning. Prrrr-rrruuummmblllrrrrvvvrr...! Out of Kristi's jeans rumbled a 5 second bubbler. Kristi was about to make her way to the bathroom, but then remembered something. "I've been wearing these clothes the past 3 or four days. These need cleaning..." A thought then occurred to Kristi. "If they're going in the wash anyway...~" She walked into her bedroom and grabbed her full-body mirror. She wheeled it into the bathroom. She locked the bathroom door (She wasn't sharing the apartment with anyone, but just to be on the safe side) and looked at herself in the mirror she'd wheeled in. God, I look a wreck... Kristi thought. Her hair was ruffled and untidy (It wasn't the tidiest normally, but she'd usually brush it.), she had vague streaks of pizza sauce around her mouth, there was a slice of pepperoni on her shirt, and her jeans had slid down a little, revealing the cleft of her butt. She quickly washed her face and ate the bit of pepperoni. Now, back to business... RRRUUURrrrrGllRRRRGGGRRRRROORGGGRR...! Kristi felt her stomach moan as a cramp seized her mid-drift. She fought the urge to pull down her jeans. BRRRR-ruurrrrrrmmmmmBBBBBRRRRRRRRLLLLLRRRRRRRrrrvvvvvvvvvvvrrlllrrrbbplrbplrpt! A nauseatingly wet fart bubbled out from her rear, fluctuating in tone as it tried to push out more than just gas. Kristi had had accidents before (Usually after a Mexican or curry. One time was after stuffing herself on Christmas day. Her and her mum had a bit of a contest of who could hold their meal in the longest. Kristi had won, but as her mum was the one who got to the toilet on Boxing day Kristi didn't see herself as much of a winner), some of which she did deliberately (She'd gone through a phase of public "accidents"), but she'd often wore cheap leggings for those. They allowed the bulge to be seen easier and just felt easier to crap in. They also stained easily, which was a bonus. Kristi had never had an accident in jeans (Which was strange because of how often she wore them). She owned 3 identical pairs, so even if she ruined one she could just alternate between the remaining two. Kristi turned to look at her butt in the mirror, at a profile view. Kristi was appreciative of her look, she was glad with the proportions of her body. Her butt stuck out just enough and had a nice curve to it. It also looked visibly fairly soft, and she loved how it looked in jeans. She had found herself envious of other girls (Most recently Laura - her butt looked so doughy), but when she thought about it she wouldn't trade out her body for anybody else. Kristi cupped her buttcheeks lightly, as if weighing them. She loved the weight they had in her hands. Prrrlllrrrrrrrffffffffbbbrrfff! A shorter, airy fart made its way out of her backside. Its tone implied something more was on its way. Kristi pushed harder. Prrrrffff-BLLLRRPT-PRRRSH-CRRRCKLE! The initial fart was airy like before, but soon exploded into a bubbly fart. Changing again, the fart became far more moist and soft crackling was heard from her jeans. Kristi glanced an herself in the mirror - her face had gone bright red, from half embarrassment and half arousal. She glanced at her butt in the mirror, looking at the slight bulge her turd was making against the back of her jeans. BBRRRBBBRRRRRFFFLLLLLRRRRAAPT-SPPLLLRRRSHHHCHLLLRRRPLLLLLLLLURRRRCHH! Kristi followed through on the log, with a loud bubbling shart accompanying it. With the floodgates open, a stream of logs and mushy faecal matter filled her jeans, creating a wet slapping sound as it all poured out. It was runnier than Kristi had been anticipating (Although she should have seen it coming - she'd often get the runs after a night of drinking), but it wasn't going to seep through her panties. BvvvvrrrrrBBLLLLLRRRUUUUMMMMPPT! As if emphasising the end of her accident, a bubbly fart burst out, muffled by the mess. Kristi was moaning to herself; just from having the immense, smelly brown sludge in her jeans, she was getting off. She didn't even need to touch herself to bring around a climax, it was that intense. "Phew..." Was all Kristi could manage after standing in her load for about 20 seconds. She carefully unzipped her Jeans, and slowly pulled them down. She looked in between her legs and almost swooned at the thick gloopy mess. She could feel some of it stuck inside her buttcrack as well. To most it would have been an unpleasant feeling. Not to Kristi. Remembering what she was doing, she took off her jeans. There was a brown skid-mark on the inside of the jeans. As far as she could tell, it wasn't visible from the outside. Even still, she tried to wipe away some of the residue from the inside, and then put her jeans into the washing basket in the corner. She glanced back down at her panties - they were barely holding under the weighty load. They were white briefs, although needless to say they were no longer as white as they once were. In reality, they had already had a brown stain from the last time Kristi had worn them, and a fart had become a little too wet. Surprisingly, most of her underwear stayed clean. This was due to Kristi having decent control over her bowels, and whenever she wore leggings for deliberate accidents she went commando. The same could not be said for the smell of most of her underwear. Deciding that her briefs had just seen their final days, she carefully took the filled panties and dropped them into the toilets. *SPLOOSH!* "Right... I should probably shower." Kristi said to herself. She glanced at her bare ass in the mirror - it was pretty filthy. She took off her t-shirt and chucked it into the washing basket with her jeans. She then went to remove her bra, only then realising she must have taken it off last night to make herself comfier, because she wasn't wearing it now. She stepped into the shower and started running the water. She personally preferred baths (bubbles were fun), but a bath would just leave her sitting in shit tainted water, which was hardly useful for becoming clean. She grabbed some shower gel and put herself under the running shower head. "AH! That's cold!" Kristi jumped. She started blushing - she didn't like being caught off guard. She was rarely caught off guard, but when she was she'd always feel really embarrassed. She'd been surprised into farting before, and unlike farting of her own volition she derived no pleasure from it. Kristi shook it off and turned up the hot tap a bit. She went back into the now-warm stream of water. She washed away all visible residue of her accident before getting some shampoo and washing her hair. Heh, shampoo, Kristi thought immaturely. After applying the shampoo, she moved on to the shower gel and started rubbing it over her body. Suds started to form on her sleek, wet skin. She took particular care to clean her crack to make sure she was absolutely clean. She also made sure her thighs were also thoroughly cleaned, in case anything had dripped down. Prrrrblllllllvvvvvrrrpt! A bubbling fart eased out from between Kristi's buttcheeks. It scattered a few bubbles in its wake. --- Once Kristi had dried off, she went to her drawers. From the first drawer she pulled a pair of black briefs and a matching black bra. She grabbed a new pair of jeans from the next drawer down. Next, she walked to her clean t-shirt pile at the other end of the room. She picked up the first shirt. It was a black shirt with a big, red circular logo on the front. The shirt read 'Queensrÿche' at the top of the circle, and 'Rage For Order' at the bottom. The band's logo was at the centre of the circle, with a backdrop of the planet behind it. "This'll do," Kristi stated simply. She pulled the shirt down over her head. It fit fine, if a little snug around the chest. Kristi walked out of her room, and back to her dining table. She hadn't forgotten the 1/3 of pizza she'd failed to eat last night. Pizza for breakfast. How posh,Kristi thought sarcastically. She sat down at the table and grabbed the first slice. It was cold, sure, but it was still pizza. The first slice didn't last long at all, and soon enough she had the final slice in her hand. But first, she leaned to the side. BBBRRRRRRUUUUUuuuuuuummmmmmvvvvvvvllLLLLLRRRRRRRRPPT! Even after recently emptying her bowels, she was already brewing more gas. It hardly surprised her. "Man, pizza's the best. Dairy andGluten? Meat and chili peppers? What could go wrong?" Kristi said to herself. BLLAARPT! BRRRBBT! Kristi released two shorter bursts of gas as she finished off the final slice. She then threw away the cardboard box and made her way to the bathroom. She washed her face and brushed her teeth. She then applied some blue lipstick and some light eyeshadow. Kristi didn't like using make up that much (It always wiped off one way or another) but she liked the shade of blue, and she was going on a date. Why not? Satisfied, she grabbed her phone and jacket and made her way to the bus stop. On her way, she texted: Kristi: Just left apartment. See you in 10. --- Laura checked her phone, which had just chimed with a new message. It was Kristi. When she read it, her heart sank a little. Laura had gotten ready earlier in that day. She wore black leggings (Which she had noticed were a little tight, looking slightly transparent), and a cyan t-shirt. She preferred t-shirts, but had to wear button-up shirts for her office job (And on occasion, a pencil skirt if there were a board meeting). She'd put on some red lipstick and mascara, and had her hair let down at full length. She was just about to go into the car, but... RRRRRUUUUUURRRRRMMMMMBBBLLLLrrrrrrrgggrrrrrrrllllllrrrrrr...! She'd been cut off. In the rush to make sure she was ready she'd neglected to empty her bowels. She had two options: Say she'd be late, or try to hold her load for however long their date would be. She glanced at her phone, contemplating how she should reply. "Mmmmmm..." She moaned in discomfort as her stomach groaned again. She checked herself in the mirror, making sure she looked fine. In truth, most people would have said she looked drop-dead sexy, but Laura was always self conscious of her look, especially the slight gut she'd been developing over the years. It was due to her office job - she was far less active than she had been. She looked back at her phone. Fuck it, she thought. Laura: On my way now. See you then xx She grabbed her house keys and car key, and left her home. She made her way to her car. It wasn't anything special, but it was perfectly functional to drive. She unlocked the driver-side door (On the right side in the UK), and stepped in. Shutting the door, Laura blushed as she leaned to the side. BRRRRRRUUUUUUUMMMMBBLLLLLL-PPPRRRRRUUUMMMMVVVVVLLLRRRRPT! A monstrous, rumbling fart blasted out of her back-side, vibrating the seat, her butt, and even the car itself. Laura flushed red as the burning odour of spice and landfill filled the car alarmingly quickly. Laura gagged on the powerful wind which had just broke free from her. "Oooooh, why now? Why does it have to smell so bad?" Laura had already farted in front of Kristi, but that wasn't the point! She wanted to make a decent first... Well, second impression. She wanted to actually get to know Kristi, and for Kristi to know her. How was she supposed to do that if she kept ripping ass? But even still, the reason Laura had given her phone number to Kristi was because she didn't seem bothered by it. In fact, she seemed just as gassy as Laura. She figured she couldn't let someone so... sympathetic of her condition leave her life without a chance of knowing her. PLLLRRRRVVVVBBBT! As Laura put the key into the ignition, another bubbly fart rumbled into the seat. --- Kristi was on the bus, about 5 minutes left in the journey, when she checked her phone. There was a response from Laura. She decided not to reply, on account that they'd be at the coffee shop shortly. She wasn't alone on the bus today - there was a young couple sat further ahead, and a lone man sat across from Kristi. Rrrruurrrrgggllllllll... Kristi flushed with red. The growl in her stomach was just audible over the hum of the bus engine. It didn't sound too intense, so Kristi wasn't worried, but she did get a glance from the man sat across from her. GGRRRRUUUUURRRGGLLLRRRRRRR...! Kristi shifted awkwardly in her chair as another cramp seized her torso. "Hey, are you okay?" The man to her left had shifted over a bit to ask if she was doing fine. While Kristi appreciated the concern, she didn't like the attention. It would make trying to relieve herself covertly difficult. "Uh, yeah thanks." She whispered her reply. Prrrrrr-rrrrrrrrrrrsssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhssssssssssssssssssssssssssss...! Kristi froze, completely rigid with embarrassment. The beginning of the fart purred out, and then tailed off into a silent hiss. It had caught her by surprise. Judging from the heat that the fart generated, it was going to be smelly - no doubt the gurgling from her stomach would undeniably give her away as the source of the smell. Kristi had to resist coughing when she caught wind of her fart - it smelled awful! With morbid curiosity she turned to the man sat across from her. He... His face had gone red. His legs were crossed over and looking out the window with what seemed to be guilt. Was he... Was he turned on? Kristi hadn't ever met anybody else with a fart fetish, and while Kristi wasn't into guys, she had to find out for certain. So she leaned to the side... BRRRRRRLLLLLRRRRRRrrrrrrrmmmmmpt! The couple at the front of the bus looked, in surprise, right at Kristi. Kristi couldn't face them. They knew it was her. There was no question. No, instead Kristi was focused on the reaction of the man. His gaze was transfixed on Kristi, his face was a picture of surprise and arousal. Kristi, when the couple was no longer looking at her, stepped across to sit next to the guy. There was sweat running down his forehead. She merely mentioned one simple word: "KC_Fart_blog97" The guy faced her in surprise. He whispered "What did you say?" "You heard. Do you know of her?" The man continued blushing. Clearly, this girl knew about his fetish by how he reacted, "Yeah, I follow her blog. W-Why do you ask?" Kristi smirked. "You're sat next to her~" The man stammered, "Wha-!? Bu- Really?" They were both in a hushed tone so that the couple ahead of them didn't eavesdrop on their conversation. He then collected his thoughts, "What does the KC stand for?" He honestly couldn't believe he was having this conversation with someone he'd... Enjoyed the stories of, to put it delicately. "Don't tell anyone, but my name's Kristi Cooke." Kristi responded. Out of curiosity, she then asked "What's your online profile?" The man looked confused, "I thought you weren't interested in guys?" Kristi shrugged. "I'm not, but it's always nice to meet a fan. Besides, I'm on my way to a date now." He nodded. "Right... It's um, it's QuantumX. But my real name's Mike." Kristi recognised the user name. "Hey, you're the one who always leaves really nice comments." Mike scratched the back of his head. "It's nothing, really. Your stories are always captivating." "Thanks, dude." Kristi stood up and pressed the stop button. "This is where I leave you. Maybe we could keep in touch? Not in a 'dating' way, but it was nice talking to ya. Always nice to meet someone with similar... interests." "H-Hope to see you around." Mike managed to mutter. He was practically on cloud 9 right now. Kristi turned to the front of the bus. Just before leaving, she pushed a little... Prrrrrllllllrrrrrpt! Kristi could barely contain a giggle as she let the small, bubbly fart go. Mike's reaction was priceless. As the bus pulled up to the mall, Kristi headed off of the bus and went inside. --- BRRRRRLLLLLRRRRBBBBBPPT! PLLLLUUURRRRRBBBBLLLLLRRRRVVMMMMBBBPT! MMMMBBBBBLLLLRRRRRRAAAPPPRRRRRRBBLLRT! "Shit," Was all Laura could say as she pulled into a parking space. She had been farting almost non-stop in the car, and she still didn't feel relieved. She had hoped to get all of her gas out before the date, but it was clear that wasn't going to happen. She just hoped she could hold her farts in while getting coffee and having lunch. Or, at the very least, for Kristi not to mind her being gassy. She sort of knew Kristi would be okay with it, but she really didn't want to burden her with her constant gas. PHHHHUUURRRRBbbbllllrrr...! Laura prematurely cut off another fart which had made an attempt to part her cheeks. She clenched, to make sure she could control her gas. Hesitantly, she opened the car door. The rush of air as the putrid fumes left the car was quite startling, the warm air heavily contrasted with the cool breeze of the outside. After locking up her car, she made the approach to the main mall building. GggggrrrrrrUUUUrrrrrrrmmmmmbbbbllllrrrrrrr...! Her stomach groaned almost visibly under her light-blue shirt. Laura tentatively kneaded her stomach like a baker would knead dough (albeit more subtly, and one handed). She got a couple of glances from some people passing her. As if she wasn't self conscious enough, the stares were making her blush even more. She walked through the automatic doors and made her way down a stairwell. I'm not chancing the lift again... She stepped out onto the lowest floor in the mall: it was used for quite a few cafes and clothes stores. Laura spotted a shock of green hair from the crowd, and locked eye contact with Kristi. Laura suddenly felt like all the trouble was worth it just to see Kristi smile at her. She didn't see any look of doubt on Kristi's face - any look that said "Should I really date this girl who farted in the elevator?", no sign of second thoughts, no worries. It was refreshing to see someone who respected who she was, and who she could be comfortable around. She'd had her fair share of girlfriends in her life, but Kristi seemed... different. The circumstances on which they'd met couldn't have been coincidence - they were both gassy, and Kristi didn't mind Laura farting. Laura didn't mind Kristi's farts either, but mainly because Laura was used to her own brand. It had to be fate that they'd met. So far they were almost like a match made in heaven... But she was getting ahead of herself. She hardly knew Kristi, which is why she'd arranged the date. "Hi! It's good to see you again, after... y'know." Laura said, trailing off at the end of the sentence. "Heh, how could I forget? Should we go get a table?" Kristi spoke with such confidence, and nonchalance, despite alluding to their embarrassing meeting. Laura loved it; she didn't have to worry around her. They came to the back of the queue of the coffee shop. It was a short line, so Laura hurriedly checked the cooling area for a sandwich. She grabbed a BLT, while Kristi grabbed a Bacon+Brie Panini. They stood together in line and soon enough ordered their coffee. Kristi ordered hers with regular milk, whilst Laura ordered hers with soy milk. They found a table for two in the corner of the cafe and sat down across from each other. "Um, I didn't want to say anything..." Laura spoke in a hushed tone, "But I... Well, you ordered your coffee with regular milk..." Kristi blushed. Force of habit, she supposed. How was she going to explain this one? "Oh, yeah... I sometimes get my order wrong..." Laura looked concerned. "Do you want me to change the order? I could go and as-" "N-No, it's fine, really. I can cope." Laura looked surprised. "Really? But you said you were lactose intolerant..." Kristi shrugged. "I'm also gluten intolerant, but I don't let it stop me eating what I want." Laura's face was perplexed. "Why would you put yourself through that?" "Honestly? I'd rather handle the side effect than restrict my diet. Although, I do often avoid regular milk for coffee. Guess it slipped my mind today." Laura nodded. "I guess I can understand that. I take it your lactose intolerance is less... Severe than mine?" "Honestly, it's never been as much as a problem for me." A waitress came over with a tray. She placed down each of the drinks to the girls, and also gave Kristi her panini. "Enjoy!", the waitress said before walking away. Laura watched the waitress's butt wiggle as she walked away. She blushed, looking back at Kristi. She had a wry grin on her face. "Were you checking out the waitress?" She asked, clearly amused. "N-No! Well... Maybe...?" Laura blushed, clearly flustered. They'd barely held a conversation and Laura's eyes were drifting. She felt so guilty! Could Kristi forgive her for it? Had she already blown their relationship?! "Heh, yeah she is pretty cute. Probably straight though." Kristi's answer surprised Laura. She'd been expecting to apologise, but instead Kristi didn't mind... Dammit, Laura! You're an anxious wreck! Calm down, you're doing fine. The details of Kristi's response then set in. "...How can you tell she's straight?" Laura questions. Kristi nodded towards the counter. Laura turned around, to see the waitress snogging her male colleague. "O-Oh, that's pretty concrete evidence..." Kristi smirked, "Yeah, but at least she's nice to look at. So... What do you do as a job?" Laura perked up "Well, I work at the Fjoremann Industries building just up the road as a secretary. It pays quite well actually. What do you do?" Kristi sipped her coffee. "I'm a freelance journalist and author." Laura took a bite from her sandwich. "Really?! What genres do you like?" Kristi mulled it over. She couldn't very well say she wrote fart fetish stories on the internet. So she decided to instead say: "I mainly write fantasy. Magic, dragons, that kind of thing." Laura nodded. The conversation went on discussing their jobs, hobbies, and making their way through their lunch. Eventually, both girls had finished, and both girls were just maintaining conversation. It was all going well, until... RRrrrruuuuuugggglllrrrrrruuuuummmmbbllllrrrr...! Laura flushed bright red. Part way through Kristi talking about her book that she was writing, an ominous gurgle emitted from her stomach. Kristi tilted her head concerned. "Are you okay, Laura?" Prrrrrrrrrrffffffffvvvvvvvvvvvrrrrrrrrrrrrbbbbllllllrrrrrr...! The release was barely audible over the bustle of the cafe and the mall, but Kristi could feel it lightly rumble the chair. Laura started sweating, embarrassed that she had farted in public. The smell started to permeate the air. It was a distinct dairy odour. "Uhm, are you sure we had the right coffee? I need to... go." Kristi blushed. She hadn't really noticed a difference in her coffee taste, but the smell was definitely spoiled milk, there was no denying. And now Laura was desperate for the toilet, that meant there date would soon be over. Unless... "To be honest, I'm feeling a bit bubbly myself." Kristi said quietly. If Laura was going to use the public toilets, Kristi sure as hell wasn't going to miss out. Besides, she wasn't lying - her stomach did feel pretty bloated, it was only a matter of when she'd drop her load. Not if. Laura stood up. "I'm going to use the bathroom. I'd ask if you'd want to come with, but it may get a bit-" "Laura, really. I don't mind it. Besides, it's not like you'll be the only one dropping bombs." The two girls left the coffee shop and made their way up the stairwell. Laura had lead the way as she was more desperate (And also because Kristi was hoping to be caught downwind of Laura). As they started to climb the steps, Kristi started to notice Laura slow down a bit. She had a hand on her stomach. BrrrrrrrrrlllllllrrrrrRRRRRRRRRPPPPPRRRRRRLLLLLVVVVVVVRRRRT! Kristi's hair ruffled from the force at which the fart escaped from Laura. "Eep! Sorry! It jus-" "Don't worry, just keep moving." They reached the top of the stairwell and headed towards the toilets. Once inside, they noticed that the toilets were packed. The cubicles were all full. Kristi sighed. "Should I-" BBBLLLLLLLLLRRRRRRVVVRRRRRRRRPPPPPPMMMMMMRRRRRRRRLLLLLLRRRRRUUUUMMMMMMMPPLLRRVVT! Kristi turned in shock as Laura ripped a disturbingly wet, bubbly fart. It droned on for well over a minute. During this time, everyone occupying the toilets rushed out in shock and disgust. Kristi could only watch dumbfounded at the truly monstrous fart. She tried hard not to grin to broadly, but she couldn't help it. It was so hot! Before the explosion ended, Laura was already making her way to a stall. Kristi took the stall next to Laura's. BLLRRT! BRRUMPT! PRRRVVVRRRLLT! Kristi listened to Laura's farts as she tried pulling down her leggings. They were fragmented and desperate. PLLRRVVT! MMMBLAPT! rrrrrRRRRMMMMBLRT! Out of Kristi's own butt came several farts of her own as she unzipped her jeans. It didn't feel like long ago she'd been pooping herself, and now she was on her second dump of the day. Their butts hit their porcelain seats at the same time. PPPRRRRRRRVVVVVLLLLLLRRRRRRRRRRRR-CRRRRCLLRRRRRPPPPSHHHLLLLUUUURRRRRBBBLLLLLLRRRRRRRBBLLRRR! Brrrrrrooooo-RRRRRRRLLLLRRRmmmmbbbRRRRVVV-CLRRRCCRRRRRLLLRRRRRR! Thick, gloopy diarrhea poured out of Laura like a volcanic eruption, while out of Kristi came a series of chunky, soft brown logs. Both bowel movements dropped into the bowls at alarming rates, but Laura's was by far more violent. PllllrrrrRRRRRRRRRBBBLLLLLRRRRRRRRRRRRRR-PLOPLLRRRSHBBRRRRT! BRRrrrrUUUrrrrruuummbllrrrrrrrvvvvt! Laura's stream of shit continued, while Kristi worked on relieving some of her pent-up gas. The smell in the toilet was truly horrendous. "How're you holding up, Laura?" Kristi asked through her fart. "I'm fine, I'm more worried about the toilet. I think I've got one more bout in me..." BBBRRRRRLLLLLRRRRRRSHHHHHRRRRRBBBRRRRPPPPT! A final round of thick sludge dropped from Laura's backside. The girls wiped up, and Kristi had a quick chance to admire her dump before flushing it. It had blocked out all the water in the bowl, and was in sloppy mounds. Not wanting to linger too long, she pulled the flush. After some grumbling from the drains, the evidence of the movement was gone, save for the smell and the skidmarks on the side of the bowl. Kristi exited and washed her hands. She noticed Laura was still in her cubicle. "Hey, are you alright?" "HUH?! Oh, uh, one slight problem... the toilet's clogged..." Laura was totally mortified at the mess she had made. The bowl was just below overflowing point with copious amounts of brown, liquid shit. It was a spectacle as much as it was embarrassing. "Well, just leave it Laura, just leave it to the cleaners. There's nothing you can do about it here." Laura guiltily exited her cubicle, unable to look Kristi in the eyes. She washed her hands and swiftly exited. Kristi followed her girlfriend outside, where she saw her sat on a bench, head in hands. "Laura..." Kristi was at a loss for words. She sat down next to her. "Hey, come one, talk to me Laura..." Laura looked up at Kristi, tears falling from her eyes, making her makeup run. She sobbed in Kristi's arms. "I blew it! I totally fucked up our date! It was all going fine, and then I messed it all up with my FUCKING lactose intolerance, and I'm totally embarrassed! I'm a wreck, I'm a FAILURE!" Kristi was totally speechless. Holding Laura in her arms, she held her close and whispered: "But I'm still here, babe..." Laura looked up at Kristi. Her face was totally unreadable. All Laura knew was that being held in the comfort of Kristi's arms was the best she'd felt in a long time, and yet still the worst. "How can you still want to be with me after- after-" "Laura... I love you. That's how. You feel embarrassed, like life couldn't get any worse. You hate yourself. I know, because I've been there. And I know what it's like to be judged and loathed for who you are. Laura, I've never told a girlfriend this before... But I'm always anxious. Always jittery. But, from experience and years of anxiety, I've learned to ignore those feelings. Laura, I'm going to come clean about something personal to me. Are you okay with knowing?" Laura had calmed down. She saw the vulnerability in Kristi's eyes, as if what she was about to say was difficult to come to terms with. "Go ahead." Kristi took a deep breath. "The thing is... I have a fart fetish. I didn't want to tell you because it makes me seem shallow - like the only reason I'm dating you is because you fart. But that's not true. The truth is, I really enjoyed our date today, and I want to keep seeing you. But I understand if you don't like the idea of me having an attraction to your far-" Kristi was cut off mid sentence. Laura was now lip-locked and tongue tied in a kiss with Kristi. It was a passionate yet sombre kiss. The couple fell into it, lasting for several seconds. As far as they cared, the moment could have lasted forever.

[utsukushiishoujomangas]

Trip to Japan recap! (Part 4 - Otaku and miscellaneous, Food and Drink and Lychee)

Last recap post!

Part 1 (Shoujo Stuff):

http://utsukushiishoujomangas.tumblr.com/post/164067970528/trip-to-japan-recap-part-1-the-shoujo-stuffs

Part 2 (Kyoto and Nara): 

http://utsukushiishoujomangas.tumblr.com/post/164134921428/trip-to-japan-recap-part-2-kyoto-and-nara

Part 3 (Himeji, Hakone, Tokyo):

http://utsukushiishoujomangas.tumblr.com/post/164334394698/trip-to-japan-recap-part-3-himeji-hakone-and

In this post I’ll just put the remaining interesting miscellaneous pictures (food and drink, non-shoujo otaku/pop culture, and lychee stuff - my favourite fruit ^^).

Otaku/pop culture stuff:

Haikyuu! standees on sale! 8D

Wall ad for the Haikyuu! stage play in Shibuya station.

Apparently they had a Hanasaku Iroha train tie-in and even made a model for it.

For all you Persona 5 lovers out there, our airbnb apartment was in Sangen-jaya, the real-life neighborhood on which Persona 5′s Yangen-jaya is based on (san meaning 3 in Japanese and yon meaning 4 lol). 8D

There was an event in Ikebukuro’s Animate (manga/anime/otaku-stuff chain store) celebrating Final Fantasy’s 30th Anniversary. Here’s a large Tonberry plush:

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Instant Mabo Curry pack from the Tales of Series ^^

Still in Ikebukuro, my sister and I booked a time slot for the Swallowtail butler cafe. I was the only male client in the cafe for almost the whole duration of our stay (you have to book a timeslot in advance and the 2 person ones go out fast). I personally find Akihabara’s maid cafes tacky, but the Swallowtail butler cafe had more an atmosphere of a fancy restaurant. The food and decor are European-style. The service is excellent (you ring a bell to call your waiter to refill your cup of tea!? and the waiters come to the side of the table and bow after every time they service your needs). Alas, no pictures are allowed once inside the cafe proper.

We went to a Pokemon Center (Pokemon merch store) in Sunshine City (a skyscraper complex in Ikebukuro with a shopping mall, a small museum, a planetarium, an aquarium, a hotel, a theatre, and a theme park - Namja Town) situated in Ikebukuro (again) and there was some sort of event with a gigantic inflated Exeggutor.

We also went to arcades (in Ikebukuro). Taiko games are fun. I really enjoyed drumming to Koi by Hoshino Gen, a hugely popular Japanese song (as of writing). It’s also the theme song for the drama adaptatio of Nigeru wa Haji da ga Yaku ni Tatsu, an ongoing Josei manga series by Umino Tsunami.

Crane-games at the arcade. These are hard. The cranes are so weak they have a hard time picking anything heavier than a tiny plush. 

They had meat chunk plushies LOL! This totally reminded me of Shibata from Dame na Watashi ni Koishite Kudasai xD

I then went and took purikura (photo booth stickers photos, you can’t possibly not know this if you’ve read shoujo manga for any amount of time lol) with my sister (solo guys weren’t allowed lol). xD

I found it pretty fun (even if I look horrible with the filters as a guy); definitely go try it out if you’re ever in Japan~

Food:

Bento box sold at Shinagawa station (pics taken in the Shinkansen). Major train stations all have stores selling bento box meals for Japanese businessmen short on time.

I looove Japanese-style pork cutlet. *_*

Steak Doria (Japanese-style rice gratin) in a restaurant near Futako-tamagawa station, Tokyo.

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Matcha tea and accompanying sweet in a small shop near the exit of Kinkaku-ji temple.

A Kyoto-style set meal in a restaurant in Kyoto station.

Bento box sold in a supermarket we ate for breakfast. While not obviously high-end cuisine, I was surprise to find out how good these tasted for the price paid.

And the meal wouldn’t be complete without soy sauce, here in a cute little fish disposable container.

Delicious tonkatsu pork cutlet set meal.

Sweets offered to us by the hotel staff at Hakone.

With green tea~

I don’t understand why there’s no “seaweed” flavour potato chips sold overseas (where I live). These are sooo good and tasty .>.<

Here’s the washoku (traditional Japanese cuisine) dinner we were served in our room by our Hakone hotel.

The menu. 8D

We also had a traditional breakfast in the morning.

Back in Tokyo we went to Genki sushi in Shibuya, a conveyor sushi restaurant but with a twist: instead of having a selection of fresh sushi rolling around up for grabs, each seat has a tablet on which you can select the fish you want. And then the sushi plate would come up to you on any of 3 rail levels. Other than that perk, it was very tasty and cheap (~1000 to 1500 yen can easily fill you).

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No trip to Japan would be complete without a ramen meal. So here’s one of the two I had, with a side of nice gyoza dumplings.

Another cheap tonkatsu meal from a restaurant in sangen-jaya. 

The restaurant featured a ticket vending machine more commonly seen in ramen restaurant in which you order what you want on the machine and hand it over to the staff once you take a seat. Very convenient if you don’t know the language (if there is an English option on the machine, that is).

Kiwi Fanta (with added vitamin E) from a vending machine. This has a pretty snazzy taste, I think I prefer it to the classic orange Fanta. But you know, it’s not available where I live. :/

Now THIS drink is special. It’s basically your ubiquitous Japanese melon soda, but you have to shake it (very counter-intuitive for a drink in a can lol) or else it’s just some weird-tasting slime. The drink has a very fuzzy flavour.

I thought I had more pictures of vending machine drinks (vending machines in Japan have a very large variety of drinks and it’s well-known that Japan has a diverse selection of flavours when it comes to drinks), but apparently not.

Lychee:

Typical lychee drink xD

Raspberry-lychee ice cream. Absolutely heavenly ^o^

Lychee detergent ^^

This actually tastes better than it sounds lol :3

Creamy lychee ice cream. I preferred the other one to this. :D

Salty lychee gummy. ;D

And the best for last, the lychee lipstick. I wonder how a lychee-flavoured kiss tastes like *_*

And that’s all folks! ^^

Hope you all enjoyed these posts (I know I did writing them lol). Writing these posts from home make me want to go back already :s

I might do a final (very short) post of the shoujo-related loot I got from Japan…