#i also watched till (cried during that too)

[violentlydefending]

riceboy sleeps fucked me UP man. fuck. legit cried like four separate times watching it i got FUCKED UP!!!!!!!!!

[konigenblobbity]

hii it’s anon that asked about the “what’s your problem” story , i was wondering what your favorite characters from cod were (sorry if you’ve answered this before) and what your head canons for them would be? and how’s your master list going just curious, well i hope you had a great day whenever you read this :3

Headcannons: 141 + König

18+ MINORS DNI

Warnings: Fluff, NSFW, comfort, sex, blowjobs, cunnilingus, praise, degradation, possessive traits, overstimulation, just a variety of NSFW, links to straight p0rn

A/n: I don’t really have a favorite! Although I do love writing for Ghost. But I will say, I love König cause his design is so sick and he’s also Austrian which is <3. Hope you’re having a great day / night when you read this! ALSO! I think the links only work if you open the Twitter app. Pls lmk if you know how to make it work, cause idk what’s going wrong.

Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley -

SFW

Simon is a sucker for physical touch, resting a hand on the small of your back whenever you walk together, tracing the knuckles of your fingers during meetings, simply brushing his ankle against yours under a table

Acts of service are his thing. He’d prepare your coffee in the morning, you’d find your knives and guns polished to perfection if you had an important upcoming mission, be always had an eye on if you were running out of anything - like shampoo or water - and it’d be replaced before it ever goes empty.

Any second he spends with you is never a second wasted. Just being in your presence makes him happy, you two don’t even have to be talking to each other! He just loves having you near him, being able to look over and see your face whenever he wishes…

He could stare at you for hours, trying to memorize every feature of your face to perfection.

Movies and cuddles, always. He won’t even watch the movie! He’ll just be staring at you, so peaceful in his arms. If it happens to be a horror he loves to watch how you jump slightly, gripping onto his arm tightly and hiding behind it. He loved how you felt safe when he held you, how you looked to him for protection.

NSFW

Two words. ROUGH INTIMACY. Ghost can’t help but rail into you till your voice snaps. But he’ll always make his adoration for you clear. Kissing every inch of skin, praising you, mumbling how good you felt, what a good girl you were being, all the while slamming into your cervix till your brain melts

We all know he’s BIG. And when you first see him, he can see the shock and nervousness on your face. You had no idea how he’d fit inside you. First time he’d be sweet and reassuring, but from then on, if you brought up his size, he’d just say “Don’t worry… I’ll make it fit”

Loves to hear you. Takes note of every small motion that causes you to moan out or whimper.

Wants you to sit on his face. He craves it. Wants your thighs to suffocate him slowly as he eats you out so expertly.

He’s merciless… barely giving you recovery time between when he eats you out, and when he slides deep inside you.

This man just LOVES to overstimulate you. The broken moans and cries that leave your lips had him hungry for more. Because no matter how many times you came, or how much you begged for a moment to relax, he knew you can take it. And you did. “Awww I know… f-fuck I know. Is it too much?” he’d tease you, voice soft and gentle before somehow speeding up his pace, chuckling as your eyes well up from the overwhelming pleasure “I know you can take it. Be a good cocksleeve and take it”

Due to his more animalistic side that wants to fuck you senseless… you two have a safe word. That if it ever becomes painful or too much you promised you’d say it. And if you couldn’t say it, all you had to do was wrap a hand around his throat, he’d stop immediately and make sure you’re alright. “Shit…” he’d slip out of you gently, beginning to rub your waist softly “it’s alright… there you go. Deep breathes” if you were tied up in any way, he took them off. He’d kiss at any red marks his fingers left behind “I know darling… it was overwhelming. You’re okay now” and he’d just caress you and take care of you for as long as it took.

Every chance he gets he finishes inside of you. Watching how the mixture of his and your cum slide out of your fluttering cunt. It makes him groan each time.

Then taking a finger and picking it up before stuffing it back inside of you. “You better now waste a drop… want you to feel me dripping out of you for days”

Certain nights he’ll even go so far as to keep his dick inside of you. Using it as a plug so his cum stays inside you. He’d groan as you continue to flutter around him. But as his dick softens inside you, he falls in love with how the warmth of your pussy surrounds his sensitive cock. Finding a deep love for cockwarming for multiple reasons.

Bonus —> This is exactly him! The change of pace to take moments just to hold and kiss you, before going back to manhandling you, hands finding their way to grip at your hips to hold you in place for him. Ugh and the slight choke hold!

Johnny ‘Soap’ MacTavish -

SFW

This man is so flirtatious, loving to get you to blush through his words. “I swear you’re an Angel…” smiling at you as if you’re his whole world “i could just look at you for hours”

Soap just adores hearing your laugh. This often means he’ll surprise you by suddenly tickling your sides. Of course you try to escape but you don’t stand a chance, his grip on you tight and unwavering.

Play wrestling is a must for this man. He loves when you get all cocky, threatening to pin him down or tackle him. He likes to goad you, get under your skin till you finally lunge at him. Of course he’ll let you have your fun every once in a while but it always ends the same. Him winning and pinning you down. “You know you don’t stand a chance lass… why even try?” He loves to tease. Using the opportunity to kiss you all over.

Always finds time for you! No matter how busy he is, he will make time for you.

Loves using pick up lines on you, even though you’re already dating. Adores when you throw your own pick up line his way, always making his laugh with how cheesy they are.

NSFW

Such a horny man. Legit grinds against you whenever he can, even if you’re talking with other soldiers in the common area. He just can’t get enough of you.

Loves when you give him head… the sight of your lips sloppily sucking him off, it was enough to have him trembling. His hands would caress your head before grabbing at your hair. Encouraging you not to stop. “F-fuck you’re so good… so good to me~” praising breathlessly. “So gorgeous gagging on my cock like that” the way saliva connects your lips to his cock was probably the hottest thing he’s ever seen “Lips slick with spit… Can I fuck your throat numb? Please Angel” he checks in consistently, wanting your consent with everything. He enjoys gripping your hair and holding your head in place as he feverishly shoves his cock down your throat.

He is not shy to kiss you after you suck him off, wanting to reward you when you’re good for him “Did such a good job gorgeous… let me reward you like you deserve”

His hands loved to explore your body, running over your body and groping at any skin he could reach.

Any position where he can see your face? His favorite. He wants to see how your eyes roll back, how your mouth falls agape, how spit collects at the corner of your mouth. “Feels good doesn’t it? God lass, you look so drunk on my cock… all for me”

Just praise. He cannot shut up when it comes to you. “Such an Angel. Such a beautiful beautiful lass” whether you’re on your knees, beneath him, riding him, he needs to make sure you know how gorgeous you are. “I wanna make you melt~ All for me. Wanna make you feel so so good”

Never satisfied with you only cumming once. He will always make sure he gets at least 2 out of you. On days where you both have the time… he won’t stop until you beg him to. “Give me one more yeah? One more orgasm before you pass out…” “Can you do that for me?”

Bonus —> This just screams soap to me. He craves this intimacy, that closeness to just feel and worship you in his arms. The shower being a perfect place to be alone together, just melting under the feel of your lips

Second Bonus —> with your permission of course, he would totally make a video like this. Watching it back when he’s alone, thrusting into his fist imagining it was your pussy. Closing his eyes as he listens to the sound of your moans from his phone. Sometimes he’ll just watch it… not even to get off. Just smirking at the sight of you so weak for him, completely at his mercy.

König -

SFW

This big bear just wants to hold you. Cuddling you against his big chest while his hand completely envelops your palm. His arms wrapped around your waist, keeping you as close as he can.

Protective as hell. You are his top priority… if he gets the idea that someone is making you uncomfortable in any way, he’s stepping in and willing to resort to violence for you “Back off… or you’ll be picking your teeth off the floor”

He is a sucker for your touch and kisses. When you’d pepper them on his face through his sniper hood he just melts. Your touch relaxing his muscles effortlessly, specifically going insane when they sit at his waist - which is slutty as hell! - thumbs resting on the V taper of his torso.

Definitely sprays his pillow and bed with your perfume. He loves the scent of you and wants to have the illusion that you’re in his bed even when you’re not.

König will speak in German to you randomly, whether it’s nicknames or whole sentences. Loving how you don’t know what he’s saying but trust him enough to know it’s only ever something sweet. “Du bist das Licht meines Lebens“ or „Mein süße Engel“ (t- You are the light of my life, my sweet Angel)

NSFW

Size kink. Simple as that. Can’t help but feel pride every time your cunt manages to take all of him inside you. Praising you. “Such an obedient little pussy… taking all of me so easily without any struggle. Fuck it’s like you’re molded to fit me”

Loves missionary simply because he can see the way his dick bulges through the skin of your lower stomach. He’ll place a hand there, softly pressing down against it which had you seeing stars

He. Is. A. Switch. Fight me. Sometimes this big bear of a man needs to be taken care of. Loving to fall apart under your mouth or pussy, abiding by your rules and letting you lead. Whimpers and whines spilling from his lips while he pleaded for more. “P-please, mein gott Schatz. Please go faster, f-feels so good” (t- my god sweetheart)

Making out with you gets him so hard so fast. Hands exploring each other while your lips mold against each other. His tongue prodding at your mouth softly until you let him in. The feeling of your tongue sliding against his while your mouth swallowed every noise he made, that was just so hot to him.

Aftercare is very important to him. With his size and his roughness he always makes sure to soothe your sore muscles after a rough fuck. He’ll always take the time to massage your thighs and shoulders to help ease your twitching. He’ll softly kiss over every inch of your skin, praising you for being so good, and then holding you into the night, holding you close. “You did so good Schatz… my best girl. Let me help ease you to sleep”

Bonus —> SIZE. KINK! He’d just watch how his cock slides down your throat, protruding through your skin. He’d fuck your throat nice and slow just to watch your skin bulge with the head of his cock. Being ever so gentle as he slides himself in and out of your throat

Second Bonus —> He loves having you on his lap. His large frame holding you as you ride down onto his cock. Watching you bounce up and down and urging you on with his hands gripping your hips.

Captain John Price -

SFW

Price was not big into PDA, preferring to save his physical touch for when the two of you are alone. Instead he shows his affection through praise and compliments. Often following missions or in the mornings. “I’m proud of you, you did a great job in todays mission” , “Morning soldier, good to see you nice and cheery”

Trusts you ENDLESSLY but is always afraid that you’ll get hurt. The idea enough to crush him.

If you do come back from a mission injured, he’ll demand to be in the room with the medic, pushing them aside to take care of the more minor injuries - obviously not taking on more than he can handle, they have a skilled medic for a reason. But he feels better to be there and help in some way.

If you’re sore in any way, he is immediately ready to alleviate your pain. “You alright darling?” You always try to ease his mind and hide your soreness but Price knows. Even the small winces of your body had his attention on you. “Y-yeah just a bit sore in my shoulder. Its bearable though” he was already making his way behind you - whether in the common area, bedroom, office, he’s on his way - and begins to massage at your muscles. “Tell me if it hurts too much” the second he starts there’s no getting rid of him, no matter how many times you say it’s alright, if you’re still wincing or clenching your teeth, he’s not moving. “Let me take care you darling”

If you’re not a soldier, when he’s gone you get tons of letters and gifts, he’d even send you little wooden carvings of hearts he’d make when he had time. Always saying that he misses you dearly and cannot wait to see you again

NSFW

His endurance would surprise you… able to hold back just to watch you fall apart on his cock over and over till he’s satisfied.

Nothing turns him on like pleasuring you. He could stay tucked between your thighs for hours if you let him. His tongue memorizing every part of your sensitive pussy just to get you to fall apart faster each time. “Mmm, you taste so good… she’s absolutely drenched”

He has AND WILL CONTINUE TO place you up on his shoulders so your hands touch the ceiling while he eats you out feverishly

Big on foreplay. Loves to finger fuck you before he does anything else, preparing you even when he knows you don’t need it. You’d beg him to stop teasing but he couldn’t help himself. Wanting to get you writhing on his bed before he even fucks you. “Patience darling… it’ll feel so much better I promise”

When you give him blowjobs he goes haywire, the feeling just indescribable. However the doesn’t like to grab at your head and throat fuck you. Rather shirting to a 69 position to please you at the same time. Often eating you out so goddamn good you have to pull your lips off his cock, not that’s he’s complaining.

Not one for teasing, he gives you what you when you ask for it nicely. Loves to hear you beg on your volition without having to withhold your orgasm from you to do it.

Price wants you to hear him… he wants you to know how good you make him feel.

Bonus —> Enough said. He wants you WRITHING. Holding you in place as he brings you to orgasm over and over.

Second Bonus —> SO HIM ITS INSANE! Late night post mission fucking. Wants you nice and close, head buried in your neck as he groans and murmurs to you. He would be so vocal it’d surprise you at first, moaning directly into your ear.

Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick -

SFW

Always tries to be a real gentleman. Setting up actually cutesy dates for the two of you. Yet he doesn’t want you to mention it too much. He doesn’t need the praise for being a good partner, it comes naturally.

Showers you in compliments, even if it’s a little thing. “Your hair looks beautiful today” “I always thought that shirt looked good on you” often pulling you close after he butters you up with his kind words “Your skin is practically glowing… my own goddess”

Good morning and good night texts… they don’t even have to be long, he just loves sending you a message so you wake up or go to bed thinking of him. Cause he sure as hell thinks of you.

He sticks by your side whenever he gets the chance. Always wanting to be the one to spar with you in training, the one you eat breakfast and dinner with, the one you sit next to in the common area. Practically nothing can drag him away from you.

A big advocate for you stealing his clothes. Loves to see you in his hoodies around the base, a smirk growing on his lips when he spots you. He loves as well when you sleep in his shirts, having once told him that you like how it smells like him.

NSFW

Gaz isn’t into taking videos and photos of you when you’re intimate. However… his one expectation is a set of Polaroids you gave him of you in lingerie, each photo with one less piece of clothing until the final one was a breathtaking nude photo of you. He prefers to keep them in his wallet, physical evidence that you’re his.

Gaz doesn’t shut up. Whether he’s praising, teasing, or slightly degrading you, he doesn’t stop talking. He loves the effect his words have on you. “Yeah? You’re close aren’t you? I can feel how you clench around me… trying to pull me in deeper, such a good fucking pussy. Just for me” occasionally leaning down and whispering directly into your ear “Sound so fucking beautiful… screaming out for me like a cock hungry whore”

He’ll use any chance he can get to smack your ass. The moment you lean over a counter, or bend over to grab something, you feel his hand collide with your ass. When you’re around other soldiers he simply gives your rear a little pinch or grope. Making sure it’s subtle enough no one even noticed.

Loves to lead but not be dominant. He enjoys choosing the position and how he wants to hold you, or touch you. He doesn’t like to manhandle you though, never.

However he will let you lead whenever you want. He’ll be especially supportive if you want to ride him, it being one of his favorite positions. His hands will hold your waist as you bounce on his cock. His eyes glued to the way your tits bounce in unison, either moving his hands up to grope them or leaning forward to lick and bite at them. “Looks so fucking sexy… let me help you darling.” His hands will lift your hips up and down harsher, even meeting your hips halfway by thrusting up into you. It’s not long before he takes control, fucking up into you - see second bonus ;)

He is a BIG tit guy. They don’t need even need to be big, he just loves playing with, licking, and kissing at the skin of your breasts before moving to toy with your nipples. Moaning against them knowing you’ll feel the vibration through your whole body.

Loves to cum on your tits and face. Wants to see it decorate your skin, or your clothes ;)

Afterwards will pick some of it up with his fingers, sticking them in your mouth “Suck them clean for me…” when you oblige hell immediately kiss you.

He would do the same after he finger fucks you. Licking his fingers clean right in front of your face, winking at you after he’s done.

Bonus —> He loves how you sound, but is more than happy to gag you with a rag or his fingers to keep you quiet. This just feels very Gaz… the roughness and lust. Yet he’d definitely make sure you’re in the mood for that kind of sex.

Second Bonus —> Loves how you ride him, wanting to lead your movements. When your thighs falter and ache he’ll soon have your wrists or even your hair in his hand as he fucks up into you. Encouraging you to meet his thrusts by smacking at your ass.

[zierose-freak]

So I lowk made this a pt.2 of my first soul smut so if that wasn’t what u rlly wanted I am SO sorry(T . T) also I’m finally back??

18+ mdni

warnings : handjob, soul being all cute and whimpery, fem reader, use of the nickname pretty boy, soul cries, edging?, orgasm denial, cumming without permission, reader uses soul to get herself off, reader slaps soul ONCE, cock slapping

＼＼\\ One Of The Girls //／／

When soul returned back from their last stop during utop1a, he seemed normal enough. He was always either playing some game with jongseob or making silly skits with the other members.. almost.. ignoring you? You had texted all day but he wouldn’t respond, he wouldn’t even say anything to you while you were over.

you decided to confront him after a shower, his body clad in a towel, his hair soaking wet and music playing softly from his phone.

once you knew he was in his room you decided to come in, pushing him down on the bed. “Did I do something wrong?” You questioned straddling his hips. He let out a soft groan and shook his head “n-no..” he couldn’t even hold eye contact as you practically burned holes into him with your gaze

you took the towel off his waist and slowly stroked him looking right in his eyes. He let out a shuddered breath as the cold air hit his exposed body

"then why have you been ignoring me?" You asked, your hand speeding up a bit, thumb running over his tip

"M'sorry..didn't mean too" his hips bucked up into your hand "just need it s'bad"

"then fuck my hand, my pretty boy has to do some work aswell"

as soon as you said that he desperately started thrusting faster into your hand, small huffs and moans leaving his mouth

"I-I'm close" he warned, but as soon as you hear that you removed your hand and lightly hit his tip sending jolts of electricity up his spine, fat tears falling down his face when you silently denied his orgasm

"that's what happens when you ignore me" you say coldly

When he calmed down a bit you started stroking him again "you don't cum till I say so"

he nodded and watched desperately as you took off your bottoms, souls eyes widening when he notices you had no underwear underneath

you straddle his hips and start grinding against his dick, sliding it in and out of your puffy folds the tip catching on your clit

his hands flew down to your waist but you grabbed them and held them to his chest "no touching" you said mid moan

moments later he came with a loud whine, without your permission. "I-I'm sorry..-" he sobbed out before being lightly slapped on the face

"I told you that you needed my permission" you hugged angrily, moving from his cock to his thigh, rubbing yourself against him once again

when you came, you came hard, your face in his neck moaning little "I love you" 's to him. Your body convulsing while you came down from your high

(A/n, I apologize if this is bad, I write fics on mobile but I’m getting a laptop soon !!! So my fics will definitely get way better in quality, also once this is posted might start working on some stupid Nct dream text reactions cuz I'm seeing them in chicago)

[scruus]

Since NNN is approaching, have this🧍‍♂️

Imagine fucking kaveh during the last minutes of October. Straight up bullying his poor cunt and he can do absolutely nothing but bury his face deeper into the pillow and cry for mercy that will never be granted.

Unfortunately for poor kaveh, the clock strikes 12 and it's no longer October. He's on the verge of a mind-shatterring orgasm and you just stop??? He's panting wondering what went wrong as you pull out of his sinfully wet pussy and you just kinda hit him with a "it's no nut November love".

And to make things worse, not only do you leave him dripping all over your sheets, his pretty pussy gaped clenching around nothing, you have the fucking audacity to put on chastity belt on. But it's okay, kaveh can last one month right? Surely he won't end up mouthing at your pants begging you to take the chastity belt off? Surely he won't bat his eyelashes at you as he attempts to hump your thighs? Surely he won't frustrate you to the point were you have to leave him tied up, with a vibrator on the lowest setting buzzing away in his cunt as he cries for you? Nah he'll be aight

Also of course you're an alien stage fan. You seem allergic to joy. Rip till

GOING INSANE GOING SO INSANE I CANNOT EXPLAIN

TATSU OMG *shakes you by the head* I LOVE YOUR AWFULLY SINFUL BRAINIE.

Ugh and the brat that i know kaveh is he would try ALL sorts of tricks to get reader to fuck him. He is just a desperate pathetic boy who wants his pussy bred and the feeling of your cock kissing his cervix. Its just too good to miss out, even on such important events like NNN 🫢🫢🫢.

Man 🧍‍♂️ lemme cook this up.

(P.S guys dont watch alien stage if you want joy and happiness in life. Ignorance is bliss)

[ddoxhan]

that summer

draw me in your world, as you let yourself into mine let me be your safe haven, for I love when you shine

word count : 4.8k words

genre : fluff with a tinge of angst; your typical summer love story but haerin does not feel the same way you do for her?; runner! haerin x literature student! fem!reader; you are an overthinker and sometimes just wish you stop thinking

t/w : none :)

a/n : this is the longest i've ever written for a oneshot and honestly, i didn't want to split it up cause i wanted yall to feel the whole thing at one go. enjoy !

"haerin-ah, wait up!"

"you're just slow! we're gonna be late if we don't hurry!"

you swore you needed to wake up earlier to avoid having to rush to school, especially when haerin waits for you every day to walk together. at this point, the two of you had been running to class for three days in a row now, not walk. to your surprise, the girl has never complained or grumbled about how you would make her almost miss the bell. but then again, she's always been like that. haerin was never someone who wouid let out her anger on you or anyone in general. you've never seen her get angry, concluding that she just doesn't know how to.

the said girl turned her head around while not faltering in her rushed steps, making sure you're keeping up with her speed. but the thing is, she's the school's top runner and you barely pass your required tests for physical education. haerin knows, which was why she opted to drag you along by your hand. the sudden grab left you slightly taken aback. well, slight is an understatement, you were very taken aback. especially when you have the most obvious crush on her.

you've always had a crush on haerin ever since you were 12. it just happened so when she saved you from some bullies, aka silly boys, running away from them as you two rest at the neighbourhood playground after. she sat you on the swing while you cried in both fear and relief. but all the fear washed away when she flashed you a smile that you never forgot till this day. the way her eyes curved up and her snaggletooth showed with that big smile of hers, that's when you fell for her.

as you busied yourself in your own world, you once again arrived at the school gate right before they closed it off, with some students sighing at how they missed it by a split second behind it. a slow realization hit that you've ran to your limit, you tried taking deep breaths but it might have made it worse. sometimes you wished you were more athletic, for these kind of situations, and also to spend more time with haerin if you were in the track and field team.

"hey, try breathing with both your nose and mouth, it can help."

the girl in front of you looks unfazed, as if she just went for a relaxing morning jog. which isn't entirely wrong as you don't live too far from school. you stand up straight again, doing what she told you to. it actually did help but as she glanced at her watch, you understood what it meant.

"go on, don't be late for class because of me."

"it's fine, there's still some time. I'll go with you."

although you were very sure classes starts in 3 minutes, you didn't argue further as it just meant you get to spend more time although it's just minutes. when the two of you were put into different classes, the time spent together reduced drastically plus haerin's training after class on some days. it was just lunch and maybe weekends if she didn't have extra training. but you felt bad for wanting her to spend her only free day with you, so you try to refrain from jumping onto her bed during some weekends.

why is it so hard to just spend some time with her?

lunch came. and that meant you get to see haerin again after the last time before classes started. at this point, you were just too infatuated with her that you were experiencing some sort of separation anxiety that you can't seem to quite explain. there's nothing you can do about it, you were just that in love with her.

but you did not guess for her to walk along to the cafeteria with him. him who? him, woonhak, the heartthrob who happens to be almost as good as haerin in the track and field team. everyone who sees them walking down the corridor would literally stop to look at how good they look together. it's to the point that they gush over the possible relationship they should have.

you were one of the people who'd look too, but you were always left slightly upset and heartbroken whenever you heard such comments. for sure, woonhak didn't do anything other than walk with her because he likes to ask and learn from haerin when it comes to running. there was no one to blame for your feelings except yourself. and at times, you just wished you could just like someone else cause the pain gets unbearable.

"hey froggie! how was class?"

it might sound like you're being selfish, but you wished haerin only ever smiles at you like that. that smile, the very same one you fell for and also the one that makes your heart clench a little. not to mention the nickname, it makes you feel as if she sees you nothing more than just a friend.

"the same. mr park is giving out work, again. I'm not surprised anyways."

"how about you?"

you swore you saw how her eyes sparkled a little when she started telling you about hers. but you don't feel that much good inside after.

"oh! you know woonhak right? him and I got chosen to be interviewed for a promotional video for the school."

"oh, him..."

"sorry, did you say something?"

"ah, yeah I know him."

"yup him, we agreed to meet on sunday to prepare ahead of the interview. I'm sorry if you wanted to come over."

"no don't be, it's fine. I can just work on mr park's project on sunday."

"but still, it feels weird that I won't be around."

"oh come on, it's literally just a few hours! and before you know it, you'll be back and I can come over if you want."

"this is why you're my best friend, I can always count on you."

well, that hurt a lot. you didn't know if it was intentional or just coincidental as she manages to throw your urge to confess out of the window every time it surfaces. all you could hope was that she didn't take notice of your feelings, or else you swear you'd never be able to face her again. the very last thing you need is for this friendship with her to shatter to the ground like glass. but you knew, the moment you fell for her, you were already walking on thin ice.

"what do they have for lunch today?"

"kimchi fried rice, today has your favourite strawberry milk."

picking up yours, you shaked it to tempt her to quickly go get hers and come have her food with you. and so she did.

whenever it came to her favourite food, she always looks like a cute little kitten who's hungry all the time. and when she spots them, she'd rush to get it and sit with you with an adorable smile plastered on her face as she eats or drinks away. you wish you were able to be someone who makes her that happy too, but along with those thoughts were the heavy consequences of your confession.

whatever you two have built throughout these many years will just shatter like glass, into fragile pieces that will not be able to be pieced together again. even if it could be pieced together again, nothing can stay the same.

for now, you'll keep it to yourself. nothing has shifted between you and haerin, so you shouldn't too.

you have no idea what the hell you're doing right now. what kind of situation is this, you don't know.

"you told me we were gonna work on that project. as far as I know, this is not part of the project."

"I know, but just, we'll work on it after. for now, I just need you to accompany me."

"bro, this feels so illegal to be spying on someone."

"I'm just making sure that boy isn't doing anything to haerin."

"you know they're like the most shipped couple in school right? and woonhak's a really nice person."

"you never know."

all dani could do was roll her eyes at how dumb you look, she looks, with this so called disguise that barely covered their identity. she told you the shades were not it when it's practically indoors, and how it literally makes them stand out even more. at times like this, she questions herself why she's friends with you, and why she's willing to be in this with you. overall you were a great person, just not when you get too overprotective of the girl you love.

"if you're just gonna snoop around, you might as well just confess."

the moment you heard the word 'confess', the coffee you were drinking through your mouth came out through your nose. dani didn't know whether to laugh or help you wipe the table cause that was the reenactment of that 'the incredibles' meme of violet. maybe this was why she was friends with you.

"w-what do you mean?"

"you're too obvious to not notice each and every time you zoom out of class to have lunch with haerin. and zoom out again when the bell rings so you can head over to the gym hall to watch her practice."

"bro why didn't you tell me?!"

"tell you what? that you're like an idiot in love but the person you love doesn't seem to feel the same way?"

"I am not an idiot! but I definitely am in love..."

the mood suddenly shifted to somewhat gloomy as those words left your mouth. admitting that you had feelings for haerin to someone else for the first time didn't feel much extravagant than you thought. it wasn't that what you felt wasn't real or overwhelming, they very much were. but the thought of her not reciprocating them, broke you a little on the inside.

you've always imagined being by her side throughout university till the day you'd grow old and get a small house in the countryside. if it were the best friend context, things would have been fine. but you want to be there for her as someone she loves, too. as cheesy as it sounds, just the two of you against the world and no one can stop you.

reality begged to differ when you see how happy she is now as she picks up some clothes from the racks in a store. with woonhak smiling down at her. you couldn't deny that they look good together, way to good that it was believable if haerin told you they started dating after this date. the more you saw the two of them together, the more it was harder to imagine you being the one who would be making her happy.

although you've known her for so long, you weren't one to express your feelings through words. 'actions speak louder than words' was the motto you've lived with all this time. but this love thing takes more than that. being a literature student did not help with that vast range of vocabulary cause there was no point of preparing a confession. it has to come from the heart, and that's what makes it so hard.

"..."

"they left by the way."

your head whipped to the direction of the store they were in, and the last spot you saw them at was indeed empty.

"let's go then! you better saw where they are heading."

not even allowing dani to finish her chocolate drink, you dragged her along to chase after the two. they were definitely fast, very fitting to be in the track and field team. and dani did not sign up for this.

in the end, dani had to drag you out of that mall before you ended up actually stalking those two poor souls. you were definitely not pleased with that decision but you two had a project to attend to, so you placed whatever that's disturbing to the back of your head. although it was sort of futile.

"well, at least we got half of this done, sorta."

"we can meet again tomorrow after school to finish it up if you want."

the australian squinted her eyes at you, as if trying to question your intention. she had the right to after what you pulled off today.

"for real, this time. I kinda want to get this over with and watch haerin practice."

"you better keep your promise."

giving a salute, all dani could do was chuckle at your attempt to lighten the mood with your antics. how can she not love someone like you when all you do was make everyone around you smile?

"hey, do you think it's possible that haerin would have feelings for me? even the slightest bit?"

"I don't see why not. you're a nice kid."

"the definition of nice is different for everyone, and so it is for me."

the older took a seat next to you on the bed, putting down her books on your study desk. when the topic about your feelings for haerin surface each time, you can't help but let your real self seep out a little, the happy-go-lucky facade faltering.

"you know, you don't have to be nice to be liked by anyone."

"but that doesn't mean I can be bad either."

"you know I don't mean it that way. it's just that, whether the person is nice or not, if you like them, you just do."

"that's true..."

it was feeling a little weird to talk about this with someone, but you were glad that it was dani. she was like an older sister figure that you could rely on whenever you needed her.

"you love haerin. and do you love her because she's nice? or because it's her?"

as you registered her words in your brain, you couldn't help but feel hopeful all over again, even after seeing those two at the mall today. maybe, they really are just friends. maybe, haerin does like you a little. maybe, you should confess.

you were so lost in your own thoughts that you couldn't feel the presence next to you, slowly clasping your hands. dani looked at you really endearingly, as if you were the person she cherished the most in the world.

"whatever you do, I'd be here to support, okay?"

giving her a reassuring nod and grin, dani's heart swelled at how your mood was lifted again. all she wants to see was you smile, regardless of who's behind it.

"FROGGIE!"

the shout from across your bedroom door grabbed your attention as your eyes darted towards it. as it swung open, the very person you two were talking about barged through to throw you into a hug. along with dani cause haerin knows her too.

"unnie! what are you doing here? the project?"

"hmm, we were just tidying up cause it's getting late."

the older slipped out from the embrace to finish packing her stuff to leave those two to their own world. maybe one day, she'd be able to find someone she loves too.

"bye unnie!"

"dani, I'll let you know what time tomorrow."

"yup sure, just ping me when you're done."

as dani left when she saw your thumbs up, you're tackled into another hug. you were wondering why she was being extra clingy after that date with woonhak. did woonhak confess to her? was she being shy about it? is she gonna tell you something? you were overthinking a lot of things and it wasn't a good sign cause that just means you're going to start doubting every single action haerin takes.

"I missed you."

you wish you would just disintegrate into dust at this very moment. everything that has happened today had already put your brain and feelings into overdrive. and for her to say this, made your heart feel heavier than ever. you didn't know why, it just didn't feel all that good although you did miss her too. but the words just can't seem to fall from your lips.

all you could do was look away and nod. because if you were to look at her, you think you are going to cry and confuse her even further.

"I should go shower first, it's been a long day."

"then we can cuddle!"

haerin slipped away from the embrace into your bathroom. with her belongings scattered around your room, it makes you feel even dizzier from all these crashing feelings. it's as if you are itching to confess to her or else you'd combust for real. that was why you could only keep your mouth shut, or everything would be over.

for now again, you try your best to act normal in front of her. for your own sake, for her sake, and to keep this friendship the way it has been this whole time.

everything went on like normal. you and dani wrapped up that damn project mr park gave, having lunch with haerin every day, spending your time watching her practice, hanging out every weekend. but as haerin's competition was approaching, she spends more time at the gym hall, even during weekends at times. you can't blame her when she's the top in her team.

this competition was utmost important for her as many big companies scout at this particular one. meaning that if she does well, she may have a chance of signing with one. but that means that she would have to move to the city if that does happen.

you were afraid to lose her. sure, you two would still be friends even if she was miles away. so that's exactly what you're afraid of, staying friends. you knew you had no guts to confess to her anytime soon. if haerin leaves, you will still be here. you can't imagine how it will be without her, because you've spent your entire life with her by your side.

even today, you're in your room as haerin is training more as days are left till the competition. divided between confessing or not, you wrote down all the things you want to get for her on your laptop. the tomato frog that she loves so much, a printed sweater with a cat, a couple bracelet that she had her eye on last month. you remembered everything like you knew the back of your hand. it wasn't intentional, but you just did. not to mention that you had quite bad memory that you took a week to remember your seatmate's name.

you were going to do it. you were going to confess. it took you years to finally make that decision and you want it to be perfect. what did it mean by perfect, you don't know. it was your first time, but you just wanted it to be from the bottom of your heart. regardless of whether haerin would reciprocate the feelings, you came to an agreement with yourself that it was fine if she didn't. she was going to move away when she wins that competition so it would just mean that you two stay friends. friends who are apart from each other.

although it may take time to heal, it was going to be fine. not everything in life can go smoothly, and you were willing to take the risk. it was unfair for both you and her. you couldn't pretend any longer that you saw her as a friend, when the way you treat her is definitely more than one. and she deserves to know what you feel for her, with no secrets kept between the two of you.

D-10.

"WOONHAK! GOOD LUCK!"

"YOU'RE GONNA DO GREAT BRO!"

"HAERIN-AH! SLAY IT!"

"HWAITING!"

screams and shouts from both sides of your ears were definitely gonna leave them ringing for some time. of course you weren't going to miss haerin's big day. you were beyond proud that she made it to the finals after beating her opponents in the semifinals. quarters were a piece of cake since she was a whole second ahead of everyone.

it was no doubt when she held the fastest record for 100m among the schools here. the agents definitely had their eyes on her the entire time, it just depends on who she chooses.

you didn't really like going out for events like these but she was an exception. although you weren't screaming your lungs out for her, you caressed that ring on your finger very dearly. the ring haerin got you when you two got into the same high school, calling it "the lucky ring". whenever there were big happenings, you'd wear it, feeling that she was with you through them. this time, you wore it so she could feel that you were with her.

"ON YOUR MARK."

the determination on haerin's face didn't go unnoticed even if you were nowhere close to the tracks. and when she flashed that smile at you before the whistle went off, you cried softly into your hands.

you love her so much. so much that this was going to be the last time you two were going to be friends. friends who grew up together, playing with puddles at the playground. finding restaurants to visit together. laughing at stupid videos in bed. taking pictures and videos of each other when one is sleeping. all those days were going to be a memory. a sweet memory for you to look back at after this day.

reporters swarmed the winner of the competition, blocking the pathway for the others who could only sigh at their defeat. some were lucky with outstanding performance.

"could you tell us what's your future plans after this?"

"will you be signing with Krux? we saw their agent approach you personally."

"is it possible to know who kim woonhak is to you?"

"i'm sorry everyone but haerin will be heading off first, any questions will be answered by me."

the coach pushed haerin into the locker room before locking everyone outside with him. she let out the breath even she didn't know she was holding.

"so, who is kim woonhak to you?"

the noise was starting to die down outside as the reporters were led to a different room for interview. the silence was growing deafening as those words echoed across the empty room.

"you're my friend."

"damn, I really didn't have a chance, did I?"

"you know that very well. plus, there's a whole line waiting to date you so why waste your time on me?"

haerin couldn't bother, as she had something better to do and someone better to be with.

"sunbae, you do know I don't like you anymore right? not after you turned down my confession the other day."

"I was just making sure. I've seen too many of you playboys in action."

"oh come on, I'm not a playboy!"

woonhak was someone who was very responsive to teases, and haerin takes every chance she gets to tease the hell out of him. if anything, he was like a brother to her and she was like a sister to him. in fact, both of them decided to sign with the same company since they were offered. it was always good to have someone on your side in the sports world.

"I know, I was just messing with you. now get out, coach probably needs you."

"why me when the winner is right here chilling?"

"because you're gonna answer on my behalf."

the scene that was unfolding could easily be misunderstood if walked in at the wrong timing. and someone did just that. but what haerin didn't expect was that you walked in on them, seemingly laughing and smacking each other, like a couple. well, it did look like that to you at least.

you felt like you were interrupting something, so you dashed out of there as quick as you could. your eyes were stinging as the humid wind cut through your tears that were threatening to fall. although haerin was deemed the winner today, you were zooming past people faster than she could, as if in denial that you lost even before getting a chance to tell her.

it was getting more and more suffocating as the people around you were overwhelming. although you could breathe better when you reached the tracks, taking in the view of the vast field, it was too much that you had to hit your chest to let out some suppressed cries.

just as you felt slightly better, you felt a pair of arms swinging across your sides from behind, trapping you with them. you didn't even need to see who it is, as their scent invaded your senses, carrying familiarity with it.

"haerin-ah, congratulations! I'm so proud of you."

you turned around to bring her into a hug, but also hiding the fact you were crying because things were to change today.

"thank you, I wouldn't have done it without you."

"no, don't say that. you.. did it because you trained very hard for this. and you'll be achieving your dreams."

"you did do something for me, you were there for me. I saw you at the bleachers and that made me more determined to win."

"why are you crying, froggie? don't cry, we'll still see each other."

haerin cupped your face with her hands to wipe the tears off of your face. but that just hit the nail on the coffin, meaning that she would sign and leave for the city. which was now or never.

"haerin-ah."

"hmm?"

the endearing look in her face as she looks at you was more than enough to let you know she would be here for you no matter what. even as just a friend. although it was starting to rain, you knew you had to do it now. the words were getting stuck in your throat as it started to get dry. but, you were going to do it still.

"I love you."

"huh?"

the confusion on her face hurt you more than it should. you should know that she does not feel the same way you did for her. you should know that she was probably already dating woonhak after what you saw earlier. you should know-

"I love you too."

it was the first time you have ever seen that smile on her face. a grin so wide, it's like she's the happiest girl in the world. the most crescent eyes you've seen on her, as if she's staring at the girl she loves.

wait. she said she loves you too.

the sunshower was drenching the two of you but you couldn't give a damn about it. she said she loves you. she reciprocated your feelings. but you were having a very hard time trying to wrap your head around it.

"I love you too, you silly."

her laughter tickled your ears as you stood there frozen. your dumb reaction had her swaying you around with her in the rain as the sun was blinding through the droplets. just as she stopped to look at you again, you still had that bewildered face.

"I thought you were dating woonhak..."

"me? and that idiot? babe, you gotta be kidding me."

the sudden endearment had your cheeks flare up as you bury your head in her shoulder, in attempt to cover your face. but your ears were shooting bright red too, earning an earthy laughter from haerin, you could feel it through the embrace.

"so that means we're dating right?"

she looked at you with a shocked face before peppering kisses all over your cheeks.

"yes, of course froggie. unless you wanna get married."

the attempt at humor cracked both of you up, but you knew that was something you see happening in the future. but for now, everything was perfect. you were perfect, and haerin's urge to kiss you was too strong at that moment.

"can I kiss you?"

all you could do was nod and as her lips touched yours, that's when things were sinking in for you. your hands slowly draped over her neck as you pulled her closer to feel the longing for her warmth grow stronger. the sunshower painted over you and her, but you couldn't care less about what's around you when the most important person is in front of you. it was true that today was the last day you two were friends, but blossomed into a new beginning as each other's love.

as you pulled back to breathe, you two had your eyes closed, foreheads touching. although no words were exchanged, you knew, many more summers were to be spent with the love of your life.

it was the summer rain, the summer rain when haerin fell for you as you held her hand and ran in the rain back home.

that summer you fell for her too.

[redrose10]

Hello, first of all I would like to start of by saying you are a phenomenal writer. Like I came across your account some time around 5 months back and I might have devoured eyes piece of writing there is to here. I love all the prompt requests you do, be it the snake hybrid Yoongi, or CEO ones or the classic jock trope you did. Loved them all. And especially the coffee shop AU you wrote about Yoongi was so damn good. Like edge of my seat till the end good. So thanks a lot for being that good and for choosing to share it with us.

also could I please request no.2 hybrid au for the au part and no.2 as well for the trope and 29 and 39 for prompts. And if it’s not too much to ask (could it be either of Seokjin, Jungkook or Namjoon)

THANKS A BUNCH and regards

Have a great day

Hi! Thank you so much for the kind words! I hope this is okay for you.

< Milk and Kookie>

Dog Hybrid Jungkook x Cat Hybrid Reader

Warnings: Mentions of injury/blood, mentions of bullying, theres a bet and being used, swearing

Hybrid, Enemies to lovers

#29 “There is more to the story than you’re telling me.”

#39 “That’s a new low for you.”

*******************************************************

You first met Jeon Jungkook when you were both six years old. He was a wild rambunctious loud dog hybrid and you were the quiet calm patient cat hybrid. You had always thought he was annoying, but one day during snack time, he was rough housing with another dog hybrid named Taehyung and he knocked over your chocolate milk. It spilled all over the front of your favorite white dress. Even though he apologized and your mom was able to get the stain out, you could never bring yourself to get over it.

In the third grade you were supposed to have the lead role in the school play. You were super excited and practiced your lines over and over again. The day before the play you were walking in the hallway when you bumped into someone running by. Jungkook looked down at you with wide eyes and held out his hand to help you up while apologizing. You were agitated, but walked away not thinking much of it. The next morning you came down with a terrible stomach bug causing you to have to back out of the play. The next week at school you found out Jungkook had also been sick with very similar symptoms and while you couldn’t prove it, you were sure he was the one that passed on his germs to you when he helped you up in the hallway that day.

Then in the eighth grade you were telling your best friend how you had a huge crush on the new kid, another cat hybrid named Jimin. You were gushing on and on about how he had the prettiest eyes and his hair looked so soft. You knew that he was really into movies so you saved up all of your babysitting money to ask him if he wanted to hangout and go see a movie with you, your treat. You were walking out to the playground where Jimin was with his friends when a ball came flying at your head. You tried to duck, but was not quick enough and the ball smashed right into your face breaking your nose. You dropped to the ground and cried in pain as blood began to drip all over you. You could hear the familiar sound of Jungkook apologizing, but were too distracted by the teachers doting over you and the laughter that was radiating from Jimin and his friends as they pointed at you.

Something changed in the tenth grade though. You were paired up with Jungkook for your home economics class. You were learning how to make a cake from scratch. As you watched him crack the eggs and mix them in with the butter and sugar you noticed how much he had matured. He was quite a bit taller. His shoulders had widened and he’d definitely put on some muscle mass. His dark colored ears were peaking out of his brown hair as he was fully concentrated on mixing the cake while his long tail lazily hung behind him. He looked at you with a big toothy smile and round doe eyes. It was your turn to work on the frosting. You found yourself wondering if he’d always been that attractive.

You also noticed that he was more than annoying or loud. He was incredibly sweet and thoughtful. He was always buying lunch for the kids that couldn’t afford it. He started helping the librarian every day by putting away the books on the top shelf that she couldn’t reach because he didn’t want her standing on the step stool while she was so far along in her pregnancy. One day you failed a test you studied really hard for. He came and found you bringing you your favorite candy. He listened to you cry and he told you everything that was great about yourself so one little failed test shouldn’t matter. You walked home that day feeling much better than you had in a long time.

The two of you became quite good friends. And senior year was when you realized and fully accepted your crush. It was also the year you went through the most miserable embarrassing moment, all because of him.

When you got to school one morning there was a note in your locker,

“Meet me at our spot after school.-Kookie”

You smiled at the cute nickname you had started using for him. He acted like he hated it but got really offended any time you called him anything else. Your spot was behind the school next to a bunch of rose bushes. The two of you often found comfort there watching the flowers bloom as you talked.

You don’t know what you expected when you got to your spot. Deep down you were hoping, maybe expecting that he was going to ask you out. But it certainly wasn’t for Jungkook to be there with your bully, Mia. Her red lipstick staining his face while his hair had clearly been ruffled. It killed you inside that not only wasn’t he interested in you, but he had the audacity to trick you into meeting him so you could watch him make out with the one girl who made your life hell and it was in your spot on top of it.

Jungkook chased after you when he noticed you running away. He called. He texted. He showed up at your house. He followed you around school trying to get you to listen to him. It wasn’t until you threatened to report him to the principal for harassment that he finally backed off. You kicked yourself for ever falling for him and you began to once again hate Jeon Jungkook just like you had the day he spilled your milk.

College was great. You learned new things. Met new friends. Had a few dates. Things were really looking up.

Then a few months into your second year you decided to move off of campus and get yourself an apartment. The only problem being that rent was disgustingly expensive and there was no way you could afford it in your own. Thankfully your co-worker Namjoon, a wolf hybrid, let you know his roommate Jin had recently graduated and moved out so he had an open room, if you didn’t mind living with him and his other roommate. You thought about it for a few days but after some more searching you knew you’d never find a better option. Namjoon was nice and respectful. He seemed tidy enough and always smelled really nice. You didn’t see him as the possibly a murderer type so you agreed to move in.

And it was on a cool Autumn day when you found out that his other roommate was Jungkook.

“What are you doing here?”, he spat while glaring at you in the doorway. You never did understand why HE developed an attitude towards you. He was the one that intentionally hurt you a few years back. You were innocent.

“I’m moving in. What are YOU doing here?”, you questioned back.

“I live here.”

Great. Just absolutely perfectly great. You felt like you were going to be sick because you had already given up your dorm so you had nowhere else to go other than to live with Jungkook.

“I uh guess you two already know each other?”, Namjoon said carrying in the rest of your bags.

Jungkook rolled his eyes, “Yeah something like that.”

It was like you could actually feel your blood boiling. You had no idea how or why he had the nerve to act like he wasn’t the reason things got so bad between you. Thankfully Namjoon had a good sense of of the situation and was able to separate you both giving everyone time to cool off.

Surprisingly it wasn’t as difficult to live under the same roof as Jungkook as you thought it would be. You two went to classes during the day. You worked your part time jobs in the evening. Other than Namjoon you had separate friends so hangouts were with different people. The very few times you crossed paths in the apartment you didn’t even make eye contact let alone speak to each other. It wasn’t that bad.

That all change in one night though. You were getting ready to go on your fourth date with another cat hybrid named Yoongi. He was a few years older, but he was very sweet and gentle and you enjoyed spending time with him.

You walked into the kitchen to get some water and saw Namjoon and Jungkook at the table.

“So meeting Yoongi again? The fourth date right?”, Namjoon said raising his eyebrows up and down.

“Don’t even start Joon. He’s not like that. He’s respectful and patient.”

You heard Jungkook scoff, but you chose to ignore it for your own sanity if anything.

“I don’t know Y/N. I feel like most guys, especially college guys are all the same. They only want one thing.”

“No Joon they’re not all like that. Especially not Yoongi.”

Jungkook once again scoffed and this time shook his head mumbling something you couldn’t quite make out.

“Do you have something to say Jungkook? Because if you do just spit it out already.”

He sat up straight like he was ready to say something, but then leaned back in his chair instead, “Nothing Y/N. Go on your date with YooNGi. See how that works out for you.”

“I will. I bet it’ll work out better than anything between you and me.”, you said throwing a glare his way before slamming the glass down and walking back to your room.

Yoongi: Hey I’m outside :)

You smiled at the message. You loved how he could calm you down so easily. You knew Namjoon had left for his shift, but you still tiptoed to the door hoping not to draw the attention of Jungkook. Unfortunately you weren’t so lucky because he was already waiting for you.

He walked to the door placing his hand on it to prevent you from opening it, “Y/N I know we don’t have a great history, but please don’t go on this date with him.”

“And why is that?”, you hissed trying to pry the door open but he was much stronger than you.

He hesitated, “Just…please Y/N just trust me.”

“Yeah okay. The last time I trusted you, you broke my heart by making sure I caught you kissing the girl who bullied me.”

“What?! I never kiss-“he tried to say but you put your hand up to stop him, “Save it. I don’t want to hear your bullshit excuse. I just want to go on a date with a guy I really like so if you would please…move…your…hand.” You tried pulling as hard as you could but it was useless. Your phone was vibrating in your bag and you knew it was Yoongi wondering where you were.

“Jungkook this is basically a hostage situation at this point so either let me go or I’ll have to call for help.”, you said not messing around any more.

Finally he stepped back, “Fine. Go on your date, but just know that he’s not the person you think he is and if you do go on this date you’re only going to end up hurt.”

His words caught you off guard a little.

“There is more to the story than you’re telling me.”, you said eyeing him up and down. He was looking everywhere around the room other than at you so you knew he had more to say but was nervous.

There was a knock at the door which you were surprised when Jungkook answered it because you both knew who it was.

“You okay?”, Yoongi asked when he saw you standing there.

“Yeah uh sorry my roommate had something to talk about.” You left ignoring the begging from Jungkook to let him explain.

When you returned later that night you walked into the kitchen jumping a little when you saw Jungkook sitting at the table in the dark. He had already prepared a glass of chocolate milk with extra chocolate syrup just like you liked it.

You broke down in tears all over again. He comforted you. You explained how in the middle of what you thought was a great date Yoongi got a text. He got really angry and slammed his phone down grumbling about how he hated loosing. When you questioned him he told you about the bet. A bet he had between him and his friend Hoseok. They both picked women who they thought were prudes and the first one to hookup won the bet. And Hoseoks girl gave in first. So since he didn’t care to be in your presence any more as you were useless to him now, he threw some cash down on the table to cover the bill and left you alone at the restaurant. You cried most of the way home and finally really broke down fully infront of Jungkook.

He sat there in silence, every once in a while encouraging you to take a sip of milk or reminding you to breathe.

“Di-Did you know about the bet?”, you whispered in between sobs.

He nodded while licking his lips.

“That’s a new low for you.”, you said shaking your head, “Why do you go out of your way to try and hurt me? Huh? Why Jungkook? What did I ever do to you?”

You could feel more tears coming on as he pulled you into his embrace. As much as you wanted to push him away you were exhausted and cold and he was warm and soft and smelled like comfort.

He took a deep breath, “Its not like that Y/N…well not completely. I heard Yoongi and Hobi talking in class one day. They said they were looking for a nice shy woman they could take on a date. I told them about you. I just wanted you to find someone that made you happy. At the time I didn’t know what their true intentions were. Then yesterday in class I heard them talking about the bet. Hobi said his girl had been all over him last time so he thought he was going to win. Yoongi was clearly irritated and said something about you being even harder to fuck than he thought. I wanted to punch him right there. That’s why I was trying to get you to skip the date tonight. I’m sorry Y/N. I’ve never tried to intentionally hurt you.”

“Yeah…that’s why you purposely asked me to meet at our spot just so I could catch you kissing Mia.”, you said feeling your anger bubbling again.

“Mia? Mia…ooohhhhh high school Mia?”

“Yep…I got your note about meeting at our spot after school. I thought maybe you liked me back…maybe you were gonna ask me out. But boy was I wrong. I saw you standing there with her lipstick all over your face…I guess I was dumb for thinking you liked me anyways.”

He ran his hands through his hair and he turned to look at you, “Is that why you ignored me all this time?”

“Of course it is Jungkook!! Do you know how much that hurt? And it was worse that you did it on purpose. It would’ve been one thing to accidentally catch you, but you purposely set me up.” You could feel another round of tears coming on. Quickly you tried to get up to leave but he grabbed your arm and pulled you back down. His ears were laid so far back down into his hair the that you could barely see them.

“Y/N…I…I didn’t kiss Mia that day. I know that’s what it looked like, but it’s not what happened. She overheard me asking someone for ideas on how to ask you out. She offered to help. She said she would handle it and that I should just show up. I thought she was just being nice…maybe she wanted to make it up to you for all the bullying or something. I had flowers and a little speech prepared and everything. I was so nervous. We were waiting for you. I asked her if my hair looked okay and she went to fix it a little and then she just…she kissed me. I pushed her away, but you’d already seen it. I chased after you. I tried for weeks to explain but you wouldn’t let me.”

“Wait so you really were going to ask me out?”

He smiled to himself, “Yeah I’ve liked you for a long time. Like since we were little kids. I just couldn’t ever seem to not screw things up with you.”

“What do you mean?”, you questioned.

“Like every time I try to help you I end up making it worse. I was trying to stop Taehyung from bumping into you but instead I knocked your milk all over your dress. There was that time I kicked the ball and broke your nose. I just wanted to get your attention to distract you from asking Jimin out because I knew he was going to reject you but I missed my kick. Or when I got you sick before the play. I had heard your understudy say she was going to trip you on the stairs so that she could take your part. I was going to tell the teacher when I ran into you. It’s just like we were never meant to be.”, he laughed feeling sorry for himself

“Well…I mean we are a cat and dog so it kind of makes sense.”, you smiled before resting your head on his shoulder. You chuckled when he quickly grabbed his tail to hide the fact it was beginning to wag in excitement. Just from his hands you could tell he was blushing and you knew your cheeks were heating up too.

“I’m sorry your date didn’t end well.”, he spoke after a few moments.

“That’s okay. It’s for the better I guess. There’s someone else I’d rather be out on a date with anyways.”

“Oh.”, he pouted, “Well I hope he treats you better than the last one.”

“Oh my god Kookie…it’s you! I’d rather be on a date with you!”

His eyes widened at the realization and his tail began to furiously wag even in his hold to try and stop it before he tried to play it cool, “Oh yeah okay. I totally knew that.”, he said, “Want to go to that diner for a late night date?”

“Will you buy me a chocolate milk?”, you playfully asked already putting on your jacket.

He held his hand out for you to grab and began leading you down the hall, “Of course, I’ll even throw in some pancakes too if you want.”

“We’ll see…I’m more of a cookie with my milk kind of cat.”

[pagelets]

this what slow dancing feels like- K.T: part 1

Synopsis: Kang Taehyun had always dreamed of becoming a ballet dancer, but his conservative father never allowed him. On his 20th birthday, his mother gifts him with a flight ticket to Paris so he can pursue his dream of joining the Académie Internationale de Danse. Getting into the academy is already a challenge. Surviving in it is even harder. In an attempt to be cast in his favorite ballet production, Taehyun decides to bet all his chips on a rigid, and experienced ballerina— you. On a journey of self growth, not only as a dancer but also as a person, can Taehyun count on you? Or will his big chance slip through his fingers?

Disclaimer: sfw, toxic relationship (feat. Hwang Hyunjin), insecurities/ trauma, conservative way of thinking, i think that's all

Word count: 10.2k

Note: I was supposed to post it tomorrow but it's Tyun's bday in Korea already and I'm too excited to wait!

This fic is in celebration of Tyun's bday. I hope he is happy, healthy and enjoying his day cause he deserves it. I wanted to write in one shot but well, you know... college (cries in universitarian ㅠ_ㅠ). Anyway, part 2 will be coming till the end of the month (spoiler: will be nsfw 🤭). Also, if you're a ballet pro pls don't kill me I don't know anything about ballet, I just enjoy watching. And for those who don't know about ballet at all, I'm going to explain better the meaning of Giselle in the next part.

If Taehyun closed his eyes, he could see the long legged ballerina spinning on the stage like a beautiful fairy covered in a white dress and brightening under the soft blue lights of the stage. He was 8 when his mother took him to a ballet performance for the first and only time in his life. His big eyes shined whenever the dancers moved as gracefully as a feather. The precision of their steps, jumps and  pirouettes mesmerized the little Taehyun. He had made up his mind— he was going to be one of them when he grew up. His mother smiled at him when he told her, “If you become as talented as the dancers we saw today, I’ll be very proud of you”, she said as they headed home.

Since that day, Taehyun walked around the house on his tiptoes, spinning with his arm in an ‘o’ shape over his head. He could picture his old self flying on a big stage. The joy he felt during his daydreams disappeared the day his father came home from work earlier and caught him practicing ballet positions in the living room. “What are you doing?” “Practicing ballet, daddy” “Ballet?!” “Yes! I want to be a ballet dancer when I grow up”, Taehyun answered with all of his innocence, unaware of the impact his words would have on his old man. “You are a man! Dancing ballet is for girls. If I ever caught you even thinking about becoming a ballet dancer again I’ll put you in a military school! Was I clear?” “But daddy I…” “Was I clear!?”, little Taehyun looked inside of his dad’s eyes, all the sparkles he carried in his bright eyes were replaced by fear. He nodded, holding back the tears and ran to his room as his father told him to do with a rough voice. 

“He’s just a kid”, his mother said to his father, “He’s a man! My son will not wear tights and pointy shoes! What do you think he's, Peter Pan!? I can even believe you approve it!”. As Taehyun overheard the voices muffled by the door,  warm tears rolled down his face, the pain of his dreams being crushed felt almost excruciating. He never went to another ballet performance again.

It was 12 years ago. He’s 20 now and he’s not a ballet dancer. In fact, he works in his family bakery with his mother and his older cousin. It wasn’t the plan— he was supposed to go to Seoul University 2 springs ago to pursue a law degree, but his father passed away when he was 17 and he couldn’t let his mother take care of the family business by herself. So he put aside another dream and did what he had to do. 

Not that he dislikes working at the bakery, he loves the smell of freshly baked goods rosing through his nostrils, bringing him nostalgia from the time his parents took him to the shop when he was just a kid. He also loves to put all of himself in the cakes, pies, and pastries. “Everything can be fixed with a little bit of love and joy”, is his motto. 

Now, he’s sitting on the edge of his bed, lazily postponing the start of the day, with his bare feet getting colder on the cool tile. Hobak roams between his legs, making him chuckle, “Good morning, princess”, he says, leaning to stroke the cat’s fur gently. “Are you hungry? I’m too”. Finally, Taehyun stands up, and makes his way to the kitchen. He rubs his tired eyes, then spots a basket of blueberry muffins on the counter with a letter standing on its side. He grabs the paper, recognizing the handwriting of his mother. It’s clear who left the gift there: 

‘To my Ray of Sunshine. Happy 20th birthday! I love you more than anything’.

He chuckles, ‘Ray of Sunshine’, that’s how Taehyun’s mother always called him. He opens the letter, feeling bad for ruining the beautiful envelope:

‘My dear, Taehyunnie

Hi, it’s mom. You’re such a good son, always helping everyone, and making places lighter with your presence. 

But I also know that deep down, you carry sorrow in your heart. Yes, I’m talking about your dream, not your dream of becoming a lawyer, but the dream of becoming a ballet dancer. Your father didn’t approve the idea, but I want you to be happy too.

Under the basket you’ll find another envelope, your gift is in there. Take a look ;)

I love you

– Mom’

Taehyun tilts his head as he reads the letter, the feeling of butterflies growing slowly in his stomach, unaware of what to expect. Hesitantly, he lifts the basket of muffins and quickly opens the other envelope to find a large amount of money and a flight ticket inside of it. Tears fill his eyes as he reads the destination: Paris, France. He hears footsteps approaching from behind and turns to see his mother, “Mom…”, his voice falters, “W- what’s this about?”. The older woman walks toward her son, the tears also filling her eyes, “My Ray of Sunshine”, she cups his cheeks, drying the tears rolling down his face. “Go to Paris, pursue your own dreams” “But you need me here. The bakery, the house, I… can’t just abandon you, mom” “You’ll not abandon me, Taehyunnie. Your uncle will take your place at the bakery. Don’t worry about me” “But dad…” “It’s been 3 years already, son. He will always be alive in our hearts, but we must move on, don’t you think?”.

He nods, trying to control the tears, “You’re not taking no as an answer are you?” “No”, she chuckles, “I won’t let you waste your life working at this small bakery” “I like working at the bakery” “Oh, come on, we both know your place isn’t mixing dough, it’s standing on ballet shoes” “Pointe shoes, mom” “See? That’s what I’m talking about”. He chuckles, pulling his mother for a tight hug, “Thanks, mom. I love you”, he mumbles against her hair, “I love you too, Sunshine”. He can’t believe it— his dream is finally going to come true.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒𓂃⠀⠀˖

3 years later:

“5, 6, 7, 8!”, the teacher’s voice resonates over the classical music, her instructions making the piano sound seem distant, “Come on ladies, Arabesque! 1, keep your spine aligned. 2, shift your weight forward. 3, lift your leg. Good! 4, hold still. Like that!”. She walks around the room, scanning each student, catching every single mistake— a bent leg, a misaligned hip, an over lifted arm, she’d catch them all. “Don’t let the shoulders drop! That’s better!”, she tells one of the dancers. “Now, everyone, take your partners by the waist at 1. Keep them close to your torso at 2. Now move one hand to the right thigh at 3, and lift!”. She looks at the male dancers, their focus transparenting on their faces as all their strength channels into their arms holding their partner’s above their heads. “Hold at 4! Good, good”, she murmurs, satisfied with the execution. 

Then, her eyes spot a sudden movement at the back of the room. Seo Soojin is stretched on the floor, while Kang Taehyun is trying to help her to get up. She sighs deeply, clearly frustrated, “Alright, alright! Let’s take a break”. The music stops and the other dancers disperse around the studio. The teacher approaches the pair, a frown growls on her forehead,  “What happened here?”. “It was my fault”, Taehyun starts, finally helping Soojin to get up on her feet. “I knocked her down” “Are you alright, Soojin?” “Yes, I’m fine”, she tried to play it cool through the discomfort, “Go put some ice on that bruised knee of yours while I talk to Taehyun”. Soojin hesitates at first, but she does what the teacher says, “Sure”. Soojin whispers ‘Good luck’ to Taehyun before she leaves.“This isn’t the first time I've seen Soojin on the floor when she’s dancing with you. Can you explain what’s going on?”.

Taehyun lowers his head, too embarrassed to look at the teacher, “I’m just… struggling” “You are… struggling?” “Yes, with the…”, he cleans his throat, saying the following words as low as a whisper, “....with the Pas de Deux moves”. She raises an eyebrow, not completely convinced, “Hum, I see. I know you’re a beginner in duet dancing, but if you are not ready yet, we can always step back and work on your foundation first” “No!”, he says quickly, “I’m ready. I worked really hard to get here. I’m not going backward now”.

The teacher nods, “Then act accordingly, Taehyun” “Yes, madam” “Good!”. She turns back to the rest of the room, “Again! From the top, everyone”. The music starts again, so as the teachers instructions, “5, 6, 7, 8!”. 

Taehyun returns to his position, he’s nervous. His stomach turns, his heart beats fast and the palms of his hands are sweaty as he prepares for the lift.  Dancing at the “Academie Internationale de Danse”, one of the most prestigious ballet academies of Paris, was always his dream. Despite his father’s prohibition, he never stopped watching ballet videos on Youtube or searching about it. But now that he’s there, things seem to be even tougher than before. Every single thing he does wrong, is noticed—- not only by the teachers, but also from the other dancers, seniors or not. He’s always under pressure. And to make things even worse, he can’t dance with a partner.

After practice, he grabs his bag and slings it over his shoulder. He’s walking out the door when Soojin joins him, “Soojin!”, he bows, “I’m so sorry to drop you. Again” “It’s fine, I’m okay. I also used to struggle a lot when I first started duets. I was a complete mess”. He nods at her, “Why don’t we just go and have a caramel macchiato to relax? My treat” “Can I also have a pain au chocolat?” “Sure” “Alright. Thank you”. They share a comfortable silence as they walk down the hall, till a familiar sound catches Taehyun's attention. The acute, melancholic sound of violins, in short and spaced notes, fills his ears. He could recognize this melody from miles away, “Soojin, you can go. I’ll catch up in a minute” “Alright, see you”. 

After she leaves, he follows the melody, its melancholy building up more and more, until he finds the room from where the music’s coming. It’s a girl—- you— dancing a scene of his favorite ballet: Giselle. This’s the ballet performance he first saw when he was a child, it was Giselle which made him fall in love with ballet— where everything started. His eyes can’t leave you, you’re dancing The Mad Scene, in which Giselle dances frantically till she dies after finding out about her lover’s betrayal— such an intense scene. His eyes shine as he watches you move your body along the music, as if both the melody and you would soon reach the edge. 

“She’s good, isn’t she?”, he turns back, completely caught off guard, “Shit! You startled me”. It’s Ni-ki, one of the best dancers of the academy, “Sorry”, he says laughing. “Who’s she?” “She? She’s Yn” “Yn”, your name fumbles on his tongue, “Why is she dancing Giselle?” “She’s practicing for an audition” “Will they be producing Giselle!?” “Yes, you didn’t know?” “No…”. Taehyun looks at you again, then back to Ni-ki, “Are you auditioning too?” “Nah. I’m not into Giselle” “Do you know, by any chance, if students from the intermediate level can audition too?” “Well, technically yes, everyone can. But I've been here for 7 years already and I only saw advanced dancers get the main roles” “Oh!”, his voice shows his disappointment. “But, hey, it’s nice to play dancing trees too”, Ni-ki tries to lighten the mood.

As if a light bulb popped on above his head, Taehyun looks at Ni-ki with hope flooding from his eyes, “I’ll be the first, then”. Ni-ki looks at him with a smirk on his lips, “You’re very optimistic aren't you?” “Somebody has to be” “I like that about you. Good luck, my man”, Ni-ki gives him a high five and goes away leaving him alone, daydreaming about the spectacle.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒𓂃⠀⠀˖

The next day, Taehyun approaches the teacher gently to ask for help preparing for the audition. He was going to practice alone, but Soojin yelled at him and called him crazy. And since Ni-ki doesn’t like Giselle, the teacher is his one and only option. “Excuse me, madam” “Oh! Hello, Taehyun. How’s everything going?” “Good, good, I… I’m interested in auditioning for Giselle” “Really?” “Yes. I’d like to know if you could tutor me, please” “Oh! I’m sorry, but my schedule doesn’t allow me to tutor students”. He hangs his head, “Oh! I understand” “But I can recommend an advanced level dancer to mentor you” “Really?” “Yes, of course. Do you know Yn?” “Yes! Yes, I do” “She’s the right person to tutor you. She’s one of our best dancers, and she’s been dancing ballet for 12 years now” “Wow!” “Yeah, impressive, right? Let’s go, I’ll introduce you to her”.

They walk together toward the advanced class studio. Taehyun is so excited— you danced with so much passion yesterday, it would be an honor to learn from you.“Yn! Can you please join us?” “Hi, madam” “Yn, this is Kang Taehyun”. You look at him, all the emotion he saw while you danced seems to have vanished from your eyes, “Nice to meet you, Taehyun”

“Nice to meet you too” “He’s looking forward to auditioning for Giselle. I think you are too, right?” “You’re right. I am” “Great. So, you can mentor Taehyun, right?” “Mentor him?”

“Teach him techniques, choreography, everything” “But madam, I…” “Is there any reason for you to say no?” “Well, no, I just…” “So, you can start tomorrow, right?”. You swallow your arguments, “I think so” “Good. See you in class, Taehyun”.

The teacher turns to leave, but you follow her, “Madam, wait! I don’t think I can take responsibility for him” “Why not?” “I should be focusing on my own performance”

“Don’t you think this is a bit selfish of you? I think ballet is also about teamwork, don’t you?”. Why do adults always like making young people feel guilty? You look at your feet, then nod, “I… I’ll do my best to help him” “That’s the spirit”. You turn to go back to the room when you bump into Taehyun, “Thanks for agreeing to…”. You cut him off, there are no emotions in your voice tone, “Stay here tomorrow after lunch. 2 PM, not before, not after” “But…”. But you had already left, leaving Taehyun alone. It doesn’t matter— now he has the chance to prove that he can perform in Giselle. Nothing could ruin this moment.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒𓂃⠀⠀˖

It’s tomorrow and Taehyun runs like his life depends on it. He’s late for the first practice with you and he heard rumors that you hate lateness. He opens the door and you’re there, hands on your hips, clearly in a bad mood, “It’s 2:06 PM” “I’m sorry” “I told you to not be late” “I’m 6 minutes late” “I don’t care. Be late again and I will not do this anymore” “Okay. Not being late anymore, I promise” “Keep your promises to yourself. Shall we begin?” “Sure” "First, which role do you want?”, you ask him, arms crossed. “Albrecht," Taehyun says, no hesitation, “You’ll need to do a lot of jumps, then. Show me what you can do”. Taehyun nods, taking a deep breath as he prepares to perform. 

He positions himself in the center of the room and starts executing a few jumps. First, a Saut de Chat— his legs lift correctly, but he feels stiff, as if his movements are more forced than fluid. Then, he does a Changement, but his landing isn’t soft, he puts more pressure than necessary in it. His last jump is a Jete, but his legs are not open enough, ruining the majesty of the movement. As the music stops, he looks at you in silence, waiting for a reaction. But you give him nothing. Not a single applause or smile, you just watch him with a closed expression, “Look, your execution needs more control. Your Saut de Chat is not delicate enough, the Changement is too quick and the Jete, you didn’t open your legs like you should have. And I’m not even going to say anything about your feet” “What’s wrong with my feet?”, he asks you, wiping sweat from his furrowed forehead, the frustration completely transparent on his face. “Your landing is too rough, you need to land softer, you’re dancing ballet, not tap dance. The point is, if you want to dance as Albrecht, you must not only dominate and understand the technique of every single movement but also feel it. You’re too stiff, too mechanical”. Taehyun gulps, feeling every inch of his optimism melting in frustration, “I see we’ll have a lot of work to do here”, you add.

He bites his bottom lip, and clenches his jaw, “How can she be so cold and impassive?”, he thinks. “I thought I was good enough already…” “You’re going to get better, but you must work hard for it. Keeping this mentality that you’re already good enough will not take you anywhere”. Taehyun remains silent, trying to digest your rough, but truthful, words. “You’re right, it’s not good enough. I’m going to work harder”, he looks at you, the frustration flooding from his eyes, “Tell me how to get better”. You uncross your arms, “First, don’t think about just jumping. Albrecht is not defined by jumps and lifts— he’s in pain, he feels guilty, anxious. The jumps don’t show it, the movements and its suavity show it. Your jumps should reflect the emotions he carries, not his strength” “How do I do it?”. You sigh heavily, already impatient, “At first place, you need to correct your posture and feet position. Your feet are completely misaligned and your torso bends forward. Seems like you’re more focused on reaching high instead of maintaining your posture”.

Taehyun tries again, focusing on keeping his posture aligned and his landing softer, he feels the movement less forced as he places both feet on the wooden floor. “This was better”, you compliment him, “Now we’ll work on making your technique solid enough before we integrate the moves to the choreography”. You position yourself in the middle of the room, staring at Taehyun in the mirror, “Let’s start from the third position and build on the jumps from there”. He nods at you, relieved from your small compliment, and joins you. Maybe you’re difficult to satisfy, but he’s going to give everything he has to do that.

The next practices with you are even tougher. You make Taehyun do strengthening exercises, such as planks, squats and weight lifting. You also work on correcting his posture by putting him to stand against the wall, and walk around the studio holding a backpack with a 10 kg (22 lb) weight inside of it. It’s hard, he has to admit it, his whole body feels sore at the end of the day but he sees improvement, his jumps are now softer and precise— not too high and not too mechanical. He feels as if he had loosened up along the week. 

You also loosen up too— your behavior, not your physical— you’re still exigent but the compliments become more recurrent. “Maybe you’re not that bad afterall”, you tell him when he did an almost perfect Jete, “Do you think so?” “Yes. But don't think that means you can relax from now on” “Under your guard, never”. He laughs and he could swear he sees a glimpse of a small smile on your lips. “I think it’s enough for today. Let’s wrap up and I'll see you tomorrow. Don’t be late” “I won’t be””.  

As he heads home, a silly smile can’t leave his lips, he knows you’re a tough teacher but in each session you had together, he could see your love for ballet. The amount of knowledgement you have, your technique— you know everything, you notice every single detail. He respects you, even admires you. Even under the tough exterior you’ve built, he sees your delicacy, he sees you.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒𓂃⠀⠀˖

You're in the studio stretching, while waiting for Taehyun. You look at the clock, he still has time. After that first time, he has never been late again. Sometimes he even arrives earlier than you just to practice his jumps a little more. He’s still sloppy, but you see how dedicated he's been and you respect him for that. 

The small smile that had formed on your lips, as you thought about Taehyun, fades away as you see a figure approaching. A familiar and very unwelcome figure— your ex-boyfriend Hwang Hyunjin. You stand from the floor and cross your arms, your body language making it clear he’s not welcomed there. But, as always, it has no effect on him. He smirks, reaching a hand out to touch your face. You step back, “What are you doing here?”. He grins at you, “When you talk like that, it almost feels like you’re not happy to see me”. This fucking idiot. “I’m not happy to see you”.

His smile disappears and his brows furrow, “Stop talking nonsense, babygirl” “I mean it” “How can you not be happy seeing your boyfriend?” “Ex-boyfriend. Did you forget? I broke up with you”. He steps closer until your back presses against the stretching bar, “Why do you keep bringing that up? You know I don’t like talking about it”. You swallow hard, “Again, what’re you doing here?” “I came here to see if you finally realized you can’t live without me”. You roll your eyes, “Get lost, man. I don’t miss you. Or your lies”. He places a hand on the wall behind you and leans closer.

 At that moment, Taehyun arrives, stopping in the doorway, completely paralyzed by the scene— should he intervene? When Hyunjin starts to speak, he decides to hide, but never taking his eyes off you in case things get out of control. “Why act hard to get, huh? I want you, you want me, so why not stop these games and give in already?”  “Hyunjin, wake up, dude. I don’t want you, and you never really wanted me. Now get out, I’m busy, alright?”. His gaze darkens, “You know you’ll never be good enough, so why keep trying, huh? Why not go out with me instead of staying here training to be something you’ll never be?”. His words hit you, they hurt, he knows this is a sensitive spot, but still, he pokes at your insecurities.

But you keep your voice and posture steady, refusing to let him see the power his spiteful words have over you, “Leave now, or I’ll scream. You don’t want a scene, do you?”. 

He laughs, what a psychopath. “I’ll leave, but you won’t get rid of me so easily next time”.

He pulls away from the wall, giving you space to breathe, and walks to the door, “See you later, love” “Go fuck yourself”. He walks out with his head held high and a smirk on his lips, not even noticing Taehyun pressed against the wall beside him.  

As soon as Hyunjin walks away, Taehyun enters the room. You’re with your back turned, your breath is heavy as you try with all your strength not to cry. You glance over your shoulder when you hear his footsteps, “You’re late again” “I didn’t want to interrupt the conversation… Are you okay? That guy seemed annoying” “I’m perfectly fine”. 

You move to the center of the room, “Now let’s begin the practice, cause you obviously need to practice”. Taehyun clenches his jaw, you’re not the most amicable person ever but today  you are even moodier. He places his bag on the floor, the best thing to do would just leave you alone and go on with the practice but the way that guy talked to you, makes his blood boil, “Who’s that guy?”. You just ignore him, positioning yourself, “It’s none of your business” “If he was annoying you, I think it is of my business”. You roll your eyes, and look at him in the mirror, “Did you come here to gossip or to dance?” “What is the matter with you?! You've been attacking me since I first stepped into the room!” “Look, you’re clearly wasting my time. You can’t even jump properly and still there you are, wasting both your and my precious time. So shut your mouth and get into first position!”. Taehyun's jaw clenches even tighter, “So that 's it, Yn? You’re really going to take it out on me?” “First position!”, you repeat, the irritation on your tone echoing through the room. 

Taehyun takes a deep breath, then joins you, positioning by your side. You lift your leg and start to count as the music plays. Taehyun tries to keep up with your pace, but you're going too fast, making his body tense up and causing him to mess up, resulting in a sloppy and weak jump. “Put more strength into your push”, you start counting again, repeating the jump. Taehyun tries to follow along again but fails another time, “You have no control over your landing” “Of course I don't! You're acting like I was one of the dancers of your level!”. You stop the music and cross your arms, “Do you want to dance as Albrecht or not?” “I’m trying to” “It doesn't look like you are”. He closes his fist tight, the rest of his patience shatters at your last sentence, “Why do you hate me so much!? I'm here every day, doing my best. I follow all your instructions and yet, all you do is spit criticism at me! What do you gain by putting me down, huh!?”, his voice is loud, almost a yell, and his face is red with anger. “I’m just being realistic” “No, you’re being unnecessarily cruel. Why!?”. Your body tenses like his words hit you physically, and suddenly, your eyes fill with tears, your chin shakes and your breath becomes shorter. You try to speak, but your voice breaks, “I…”, you close your eyes. Taehyun’s expression and tone of voice soften, as if the tension and anger had never been there, “Yn?”. 

You open your eyes, feeling the tears run down your face, “I’m tired of feeling like…”, you pauses to sob, avoiding Taehyu’s eyes, “... like I'm not enough. Like everything I do is wrong. Like I'm inadequate and can't fit in anywhere, no matter how hard I try”. Taehyun tilts his head, he never thought he’d ever see you like that— fragile, vulnerable. “Yn…” “Hyunjin was my boyfriend. Being around him was a constant reminder that I'm not good enough. That other girls are more beautiful and interesting than me. That other dancers have more technique and talent than I do. That my dreams are shallow and that I will never achieve them. He flirted with other people, he diminished and stepped on me. When I danced with other guys, he would have jealous explosions. So I decided to break up, but he continues to haunt me, just to turn my life into a nightmare. I... I can’t bear this feeling anymore”.

Taehyun approaches you, his heart aching to see you like that, “Did he ever hurt you?” “Not physically. But actions and words can hurt even more sometimes”. He nods, “If he bothers you again, you can call me, I’ll make him regret” “You, Mr. Sunshine, will make Hyunjin regret it?!” “Yes. You can mock me as much as you want, but I practiced boxing when I was younger and I can knock that guy down if I have to”. You sniff, “Why do you even care?” “I care about you. I can protect you, if you let me”, he grabs your hands, “You don’t have to go through this all by yourself”. You look at him, he carries so much joy and love in his big brown eyes, that it’s almost… contagious. You get rid of his hands and step back, crossing your arms again, “I’m sorry. For taking things out on you” “It’s okay” “I also think… you’re improving a lot” “For real!?” “Yes. But don’t think about settling down just because of it” “I won’t. Thank you” “No, thank you. For… you know, listening”. And then, you open a smile. There’s the smile he waited 2 long weeks to see— your beautiful, grateful smile. He smiles too before you ruin the moment and tell him to get into the first position again.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒𓂃⠀⠀˖

Taehyun's a bag of nerves, his knuckles are almost white from gripping hard on the shoulder strap of his bag as he makes his way to the dancing room. His stomach feels like it's going to explode from anxiety. He always feels like this whenever he knows he’ll have to dance with another person. And today he’ll dance with you. The fact that you're far more experienced— and that you don’t know about his block— only makes everything worse.

He steps in the room, you are already there as usual, stretching your legs on the barre. When you see him, you… get excited? Taehyun blinks his eyes in disbelief. You are smiling at him, you’re stepping away from the bars and bouncing with excitement. He’s unsure if it’s actually you.

“Taehyun, finally!” “Someone is excited today” “Of course I’m! I love Pas de Deux. Don't you?”. He freezes. Should he tell you the truth or should he just play it cool and avoid ruining your good mood? Well, you’re going to find out eventually. And when it happens, your mood is going to be ruined anyway, so why not postpone it a little?”. He approaches you, faking enthusiasm, “Sure. Who doesn't, right?” “Right?”. You walk toward the speaker and press play, “Ok. Let 's start simple, with the lifts from the first act” “Got it”. As the music plays, you dance gracefully, your body and the melody blending into one— you’re not just playing Giselle, you’re Giselle. Just like the first time he saw you dancing a month ago, just like the ballerinas from that amphitheater in Seoul, 15 years ago. 

As the tempo builds up, you prepare for the first lift. He feels like his heart will jump out of his chest. He tries to calm himself down, but it’s not enough to push the anxiety aside. “Come on, Taehyun, you can do it. It's just a simple, straight lift. Just grab her waist and then… lift”, he tells himself. He looks at you, it's time, you jump into his arms, completely surrender to the performance “1”. He straightens his posture, applying all the knowledge you have  passed to him over the past weeks. “2”, he grabs your waist and lifts you high, your waistline aligning with the top of his head. “3. Hold still”, his arms burn and his legs tremble, but keeping his back aligned helps him be stable enough. “Good, you can put me down”, he gently lowers you to the ground, trying to hide his relief. Even though the execution was good, he felt stiff. You might not have noticed, lost in the music, but he did— it was almost like a statue was holding you. “Your posture was good, but you trembled a lot” “I know, sorry” “We can fix that later. Let's try the press lift from the second act now” “Shit”, he curses in his mind. 

You position yourself in front of him, standing on one leg and raising the other up high. “Let's just work on your foundation first. Then we’ll incorporate it into the choreo”. He nods, placing one of his shaky hands on your waist and the other on your raised thigh, then he lifts you. Your eyes watch him in the mirror, he's struggling too much— there's no delicacy, no stability. His posture is off, the lift is uneven, the self consciousness takes control over his body. “Put your shoulders back, align your back”, he tries to do what you say, but his muscles are too tense from the anxiety, “Taehyun, focus! Engage your core”. He feels your body shaking above his head. There's no synchrony between you two, “That's enough, put me down”. 

He lowers you down, but he lets go of you too soon, not giving you time enough to balance on the ballet shoe. He just takes his hands of you and steps back as quickly as possible.

Without his support, you lose balance and collapse on the floor. Taehyun turns around and runs to you as the sound of your fall hits his ears, “Yn! Oh my god. Shit! I’m so sorry”. He’s consumed by guilt. He should have told you from the start that his specialty is not dancing with the ballerinas— it’s dropping them. You sit down, reaching for your ankle, “Are you okay?” “My ankle hurts”. You look at Taehyun, he's clearly panicking, trying to figure out what he can do to fix the whole mess he created. You try to stand, but he stops you, “Lemme do it”. He slips your arm over his neck, lifts you by the thighs and carries you to the bench at the edge of the room. “Stay here. I’ll grab some ice”. You want to yell at him and tell him to go away. You want to say you can take care of yourself, that you don’t need him. But the look on his face—  as if he wouldn't even be able to sleep tonight if you don't let him help—- convinces you to just nod and accept it.

A few minutes later, he comes back with a bag of ice and a bottle of water. “Here, I didn't know what you like to drink so I just got water”. Your fingers brush against his as you grab the bottle, and a small wave of electricity runs through your chest. What is this that he makes you feel? He kneels in front of you and gently presses the ice bag on your ankle. “I’m sorry again. I know that water and… frozen water don’t fix anything, so let me make it up to you. A coffee, a croissant, whatever you like”. You look at him, gripping on the bottle of water tightly, thinking about what to do. Your entire life has been dedicated to ballet. You never had many friends and you never went out too much. So an invitation like that, as simple and ordinary it seemed to be, feels strange to you. 

Deep down, you like Taehyun. He’s sweet, he has a beautiful soul, and looks genuinely worried about you. So, hesitantly, you nod, “Sure. Let's grab something to drink”. His face lights up, “Really?” “Yes” “Okay! You can jump on my back, I’ll carry you”. You giggle, ”You don't have to do that” “Yes, I do” “I can walk” “Please. Let me take care of you” “Fine. But I’m walking home on my own” “Deal”.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒𓂃⠀⠀˖

You and Taehyun are sitting on stuffed chairs at a café by the riverbank of the Seine River. It’s late afternoon, and although the sky is beautiful there are rain clouds scattered across the entire city. You ordered your favorite hot drink, and Taehyun got his usual iced caramel macchiato and pain au chocolat, "How’s your ankle?" "Well, I think. I’ll survive", he nods, "Good". You change the subject, "Hey, Taehyun, can I try that?" "Sure”. You take a bite of the pastry, the taste of the dark chocolate pleasing your tongue. "Hum! Delicious. The chocolate isn’t too sweet" "This place It’s my favorite in the city. It reminds me of the ones I used to make back in Korea" "Do you know how to bake?" "Yes, my parents have a small bakery in Gangnam" "Really? And did you work there?" "I worked there for 3 years" "Wow. Are you that kind of family that passes down the business to their children for like 10 generations?".

He laughs, "Not really. My grandfather owned the bakery, but my parents never expected me to work with them. I was supposed to study law in college" "What made you change your mind?" "My dad suffered a car accident and passed away. So I started working there, you know, to help my mom”. Your jaw drops slightly, "I’m sorry" "It’s okay. It’s been 6 years already. I’m not grieving anymore" "Good. And how did you go from law to ballet?" "I always wanted to be a ballet dancer. Since I was… 8? I guess, and I watched Giselle with my mom for the first time" "Oh! That’s why you really want to be in the production" "Yes. But my father said it wasn’t something men should do". You choke on your drink, "Ugh, that’s sexist" "He just… grew up in a conservative family. I know it doesn't justify but... it was what he was taught, you know? He was a good man, a good father. He taught me how to be reliable, to take care of my family, and to treat a woman right. He went to every soccer match of mine and cheered like we were the national team. He loved me, and I loved him”. Taehyun pauses, “I love him. But emotions? He taught me how to hide my emotions, to never be vulnerable in front of others" "That’s why you can’t connect? Both with a dance partner and the dance itself?". He nods, "Look, you will never be able to perform if you don’t feel things while dancing"

"I know" "But I’ll help you" "How?" "I’ll think about something. But you’re going to dance as Albrecht. This is my commitment to you, Kang Taehyun" "Alright". 

You both drink your coffee in silence for a few moments, till he breaks it, "How about you?" "Me?" "Yes, what’s your story?" "Nah, I’m boring" "I don’t think you are” "I’m just an only child from a couple of divorce lawyers who are divorced. I don’t have any friends, and I spent my whole life in dance studios” "When did you start dancing?" "I was 12. My mom thought it would be good for me to make new friends. But it did exactly the opposite. Inside the academies, the competition was so intense that it was almost impossible to make real friends. And outside of the dancing academies, I used to have some friends, but I spent so many hours in the studio that I almost couldn’t see them. And when we did, it felt like parts were missing. I felt like I didn’t belong to the group. I missed the heartbreaks, the college approvals, a new puppy… small but important things like that. So we grew apart with time".

You pause, taking a deep breath before continuing, "Ballet, it’s the only thing I feel like I have control in my life. The only place where I felt like I ever belonged. It even had the power to reunite my parents like two civilized people at my recitals. In ballet, I only depend on myself to make things work. Now, Hyunjin was the first person I grew close to in the past 10 years, and I also ruined it. So that’s me, a lonely girl who’s obsessed with ballet and control". Taehyun stares at you, choosing the following words carefully, "You didn’t ruin your relationship with Hyunjin. He ruined it. You just had enough courage to choose yourself over him and walk away" "Do you think it was courageous?" "Yes" "Thank you" "But you need to have more fun. And spend time with other people. Staying at the studio practicing alone will not be good for you” "Yeah, I know" "You will help me with my dancing, so I’ll help you to have more fun" "So, we’re like friends now?" "Yes. We’re friends now". 

You smile, "Okay. So, tell me, my friend. What’s your favorite thing to do in Paris?" "Well, my friend, I like watching the sunset at the Trocadéro Square" "Oh! That sounds nice. Shall we do it now, Tae?". His lips part in disbelief, "Did you just give me a nickname?" "I guess so..." "So can I start calling you Ynninie from now on?" "Don’t you dare call me that".  He laughs, squeezing his eyes shut, looking even more cute like that, "Let’s go. If we hurry, we can watch the sunset”.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒𓂃⠀⠀˖

The sun begins to set in Paris as you and Taehyun stand side by side, your shoulders lightly touching. The large orange and yellow Sun sinks into the sky towards the horizon, filling your eyes with a strong, warm light, “Wow. You were right, it’s beautiful” “I’m always right” .You look at him and roll your eyes, “Cocky” “Realistic”. You turn to him, about to say something when the LED lights around you suddenly turn on in a bright flash. 

You look around, the illuminated marble floor makes it feel like a school dance. “Wow, it looks like a dance floor”. Taehyun also looks around, and when he looks back at you, his face is lighting up as if he just had the best idea in the world. “Ynninie, you’re a genius!”  

“What?”  “Let’s dance. I’ll try to feel the music, and you’ll try to have fun” .

He pulls out his phone and starts scrolling. You shift uncomfortably, the idea gets you on your nerves. “You want to dance… here?”  “Yeah” “But there are people around. They’ll stare” “So what?”. He places his phone on the ground, and Eternally starts playing through the speaker.  

‘제발 멈춰

매일 밤 꾸는 이 악몽’

“That’s just great! How exactly do you expect me to have fun with such a sentimental song?” “Trust me”. Taehyun steps closer, taking one of your hands in his while the other rests gently on your back, pulling you in. He looks even more handsome up close. Even though his natural scent stands out, of course, you trained all afternoon, you can still smell his cologne. You take a deep breath, savoring the woody fragrance with sandalwood hints coming from him—you silently hope the scent clings on your clothes.  

“Wait, what are you doing?” “It’s a slow song, so we’re slow dancing”. You both start moving slowly, stepping on each other’s feet, which is driving you crazy. “Come on, your body is still stiff. Loosen up, technique doesn’t matter here”. His voice is full of energy and encouragement, but something is off—he doesn’t look you in the eyes. “Taehyun,” you call,

“Yeah?” “Look at me”. He chuckles, making his dimples show, “I am looking at you” “No. Look me in the eyes”. He shifts his gaze to the horizon, “I can’t”. You gently place a hand on his cheek, softening your voice, “Trust me”.

He takes a deep breath and gives it a chance. The moment his bright brown eyes meet yours, something… changes—for the first time, he’s not just seeing you. He's feeling you. He feels your uncertain steps trying to follow his lead, your tense body, your mind clouded with self-conscious thoughts— everything.

‘Don’t go breaking my heart  

Don’t go’  

He spins you, but your arms get tangled with his. You laugh, “Ah! This is a mess” “That’s how I like it”. You open your mouth to argue, but then, the song shifts abruptly.  

‘I want to end this world’

Taehyun grins, suddenly stepping away from you to move his body in random, frantic motions, completely immersed in the melody—each note becoming one with him. You stay frozen in the place he left you, watching him without knowing what to do. “What the hell is happening?” “I told you to trust me. Don’t just stand there, move, have fun. C’mon!”. You watch his body shake in chaotic movements, not caring if people are watching or if he looks silly. You smile, first nodding your head shyly, then moving your arms back and forth, and soon, you get carried away completely. Before you even realize it, you’re jumping, kicking, spinning on the marble floor of the Trocadero Square, stumbling over your own feet, not worrying about posture or execution—you’re just… dancing for fun.  

Taehyun watches you and smiles. You look so yourself, and he thinks he loves this version of you. Once again, the music shifts suddenly, and the sound of the guitar drags Taehyun's body toward yours again.

‘추억의 미로 속 잠긴 내 마음  

구해줘 날’

He takes the waltz position again, and your feet continue to move carelessly across the black and white floor. You laugh, “What just happened?” “You had fun” “That was insanity”  

“I’m proud of you”. Your eyes meet his, he’s still looking at you, but this time, he seems different— he’s vulnerable, he’s present. “I’m proud of you too”. 

Suddenly, the sound of thunder echoes above your heads, and the rain begins to fall. For a moment, nothing else exists, your wet clothes, the Parisians going home from work, the Eiffel Tower, even the dark clouds above the French capital fade away—it’s just you and him.  

The music continues, shifting between calm and chaos, until it finally ends, but Taehyun doesn’t let go of you, almost as if you were stuck on each other’s bodies like a tattoo. Both of you are soaked and breathless but he still manages to laugh, and you can’t help but do the same. “I haven’t had this much fun in years. Thank you” “No. Thank you” “What are you thanking me for?” “For letting me see you. Or better yet, for letting me feel you. I felt everything, thanks to you”.

You hold his gaze—there’s nothing left to say, your eyes say it all. Your hearts refuse to beat at a normal pace, adrenaline still running through your veins. He wets his lips, those you can’t stop staring at, and you realize— are you two about to… kiss? No, no. This can’t happen, it would be too much for one day. So you clear your throat and take a step back, “We should go before one of us catches a cold. Besides, it’s getting dark”. Taehyun runs a hand through his wet hair, clearly frustrated that you killed the mood, and looks up. The pink and orange sky from earlier is now a mix of dark blue and gray. He hadn't noticed the sky changing— time truly seemed to stop while you were dancing together.  

“Yeah, you’re right. Are you heading to the train station?” “I am” “I’ll walk you there, if that’s okay” “Of course”. You both share his umbrella, walking in a comfortable silence, your fingers occasionally brushing against his, until you finally part ways at the entrance of the station.  For the rest of the evening, you both carry a silly smile on your lips— what a great day to be in the city of love.  

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒𓂃⠀⠀˖

The auditions are just a week away. Now your focus is making sure Taehyun can do the lifts correctly and safely. You’re back in the dance studio. He stands in the center of the room while you stand at one end, ready to jump into his arms for a lift. "Remember, the most important thing isn’t showing strength, it’s showing connection and grace” "Got it” "Alright, let’s go”. You press play on the speaker and skip softly toward him. Taehyun fixes his posture, takes a deep breath, then grabs your waist and lifts you. The movement is light, steady, and well done. He gently lowers you back to the floor. You turn to him and hold up your hands for a high five, “That was great, Tae. Now let’s try the next one” "Okay”. 

You do a soft arabesque, lifting one leg high, and spin to face him, "If you feel like you can’t hold me, just put me down gently”. He nods and places his hands on your waist, "Like this?". You adjust his hands a little higher, he swallows hard at your touch, "Hold a bit tighter” "Okay” "Now place your other hand on my left thigh” "Got it. Let’s do this”. He does a small plié to boost the movement and lifts you for a few seconds before setting you down gently. "That was way better than yesterday. At least it wasn’t shaky. Let’s try again, but use your core more” "Alright”.  You repeat the steps from before. His hands find your waist again. He’s sweating, not because of the effort, but because you’re so close. He can feel your body warmth, smell your hair gel, the natural scent of your skin— you’re so close that it’s almost dizzying. He takes a breath in, tightens his core, and lifts you again. This time, he holds you up longer, more steady, "Wow! You improved a lot. And really quick. Let’s do it once more”  

The two of you repeat the lift once. Then again, and again. Each time, he gets better. "Okay, now let’s add the turn. Watch your feet while doing it”. He nods and lifts you smoothly, rotating slightly as you float above his head in the air. When he puts you down, you pull him into a tight hug, tighter than you’ve ever hugged anyone before. "Ah, my little pupil. You’re my best creation”. He laughs and hugs you back, "So now I’m an invention?" "Something like that”. You step back and take a sip of water, "Should we call it a day? I’m so tired, and my right foot is killing me” "Yeah, let’s wrap it up”.

You sit on the floor and start untying your right ballet shoe. But Taehyun kneels down and stops you, looking you in the eyes, "Let me do it”. Your lips part slightly, surprised with the sudden proposal, "Your foot hurts from practicing so much because of me. So, let me help”. Your cheeks get warm. Why does he always make you feel like you’re on fire? "...Alright". His hands replace yours, warm against your cold fingers. He carefully unties the ribbons around your ankle, "Does it still hurt?" "Not really. It’s like nothing happened” "Good”. He smiles as his fingers lightly brush over your foot. His touch is so soft and gentle, almost… intimate. You close your eyes, focusing on fully feeling his touch. When he finally removes your shoe, he pauses. He knew ballet shoes can be painful, but seeing your swollen, bruised foot up close makes his chest tighten, "Does it always look like this?" "I’ve had worse days”. He nods, "I see”.

His hands run over your foot, sending a small shiver through your body. Then, his thumbs press gently into the arch, moving in slow circles, "Is this okay?". You nod, enjoying the massage.  He moves his thumbs to the ball of your foot, pressing softly. "You’re really good at this” "Thanks. I used to massage my mom’s feet when she came home exhausted from work” "Did she make you do it?" "No. I just wanted to. She worked so hard to take care of me. So I wanted to do something for her too”. You smile, "You’re such a sweetheart. You know that, right?" "Yeah, I know”. He keeps massaging for a few more moments before gently placing your foot back on the wooden floor. “Thanks, that helped a lot” "It was nothing. Are you heading to the train station today?" "Yeah” "Wanna get some madeleines on the way? It’s on me” "Of course”. His face lights up, "Okay! Let me grab my bag, then we can go” "Alright”. You wonder as you watch him jog to get his bag. A guy who massages your feet, buys you madeleines, and walks you to the train station—even though he lives in the opposite direction— without you even having to ask…. Is he even real?  

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒𓂃⠀⠀˖

Taehyun is convinced he must have a flower full of nectar blooming in his stomach because the butterflies don't leave him alone. The big day is finally here, and he couldn’t be more anxious. He walks back and forth, snapping his fingers as he murmurs the choreography sequence to himself. He’s driving Soojin crazy. “Dude, what do you have on your feet? A motor?” “I think I’m gonna throw up” “Man, relax. You and Yn practiced so much, it’s gonna be fine” “You think so?”. “Are you doubting my teaching skills, Kang Taehyun?”. It’s your voice. He turns around and sees you standing there, holding a cup of coffee with a straw. Immediately, he feels his body relax, “No, never”. You grin, “Here”, you extend the cup to him, “Drink this. Try to relax”  

“You really wanna give him coffee?”, Soojin joins in the conversation. Taehyun looks at her, then at the cup in your hand, “She’s right. I’ll just get even more anxious” “It’s an iced caramel macchiato. Your favorite, isn’t it?”. He tilts his head— there’s no way you actually remembered that. He takes the cup from your hands, still a little suspicious, and takes a sip. The delicious mix of sweet from the caramel and bitter from the coffee makes an explosion of taste in his mouth, “So refreshing. Thank you”. You clear your throat and say almost like a whisper, “There’s a note” “Huh?” “There’s a note… on the back”. He turns the cup around and sees a small, but meaningful, message written in permanent marker:  

‘I’d wish you luck, but you don’t need it. Your talent and effort have already guaranteed you the role. Do your best, and if that’s not enough, at least have fun.  

— Your friend, Yn’ 

He looks at you, with his heart warm, and smiles, “This is really sweet. Thank you”. He steps forward and gives you a side hug. You tense up at his touch but when he pulls away, you miss the warmth of his body against yours. “Okay, okay. But don’t get used to it” “Too late. I’m already spoiled” “Well, that’s not my problem”. He rolls his eyes and takes another sip of his beverage. That cup is definitely going to end up as a souvenir in his room. “I’m gonna rush to the bathroom real quick before my turn”, you say. “I’ll go too,” Soojin adds, “Alright. Oh, and Yn, don’t take too long. My turn’s coming soon” “I wouldn’t miss it for the world”. He looks into your eyes and smiles. You smile back, and for a moment, it’s like you’ve both been transported back to Trocadero Square—  when the rest of the world disappeared as you danced together. It had to be Soojin to grab your shoulders and drag you to the bathroom.  

What neither of you noticed is that a pair of eyes had been watching you and Taehyun from distance. Hyunjin saw everything—the coffee, the note, your nervous reaction to Taehyun’s hug, the way you locked eyes, how you had to be literally pulled away from him—absolutely everything. And, of course, he didn’t like it. Obviously, he is willing to do whatever it takes to make sure you and Taehyun won’t dance together.  

Inside the bathroom, you stare at yourself in the mirror after washing your hands. You may not have shown it in front of Taehyun, but you’re nervous too. Despite all the training and hours of repetition, the competition is fierce, and any mistake can be decisive.  “Take a deep breath”, Soojin’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts. “I’m trying” “You’re good. Probably the best I’ve ever seen in this academy. It’s gonna be okay”. She places her hand over yours, and you nod, “Thanks, Soojin” “You and Taehyun are friends now, right?” Yes, we are” “Well, good for you, you got a special offer” “An offer?” “Yeah, we're like a special offer, make one friend, get another for free”. You smile and pull her into a hug, “I’m glad I can count on you guys” “Me too”. She pulls away and shakes the water bottle, “I’m gonna go fill this up for Taehyun” “Okay, go ahead”. She leaves the bathroom, and you glance at yourself in the mirror one last time. You take a deep breath and murmur to yourself, “You got this, Yn”. You loosen your shoulders and walk toward the bathroom door, but when you grab the handle, you realize—it’s locked.  

You turn the knob multiple times, trying to force it open, but nothing works. You loudly knock on the door and call for help when you hear footsteps approaching,“Soojin? Are you there?”  

“Almost”. You take a step back, suddenly feeling dizzy, you recognize that voice. “The ‘jin’ at the end is right” “Hyunjin?!” “Bingo”. You sigh, hating the fact you’re going to have to beg for his help. But he’s your only option, so you swallow your pride and ask, “Can you help me with the door? It doesn’t open, and I need to get to the audition!”. He leans against the door, “I could help you, but…” “But what?! Didn’t you hear me? I’ll miss my audition if you don’t get me out of here now!” “That’s exactly why I can’t let you out”. You furrow your brows, trying to understand what the hell he means, then—it all makes sense. “You! You did this?!”  “Yes, I did”. You grab the handle and shake it desperately, “Hyunjin, you psycho! Get me out of here now!” “Not happening, sweetheart”. He can’t see your face, but it’s red like a tomato, “Sweetheart?! I am not your sweetheart, you freak. Open this door now, or I’ll scream!”  

“Go ahead. There’s no one around to hear you”.

You rest your forehead against the door, there’s a defeat tone in your voice, “Why?” “What was that?” “Why are you locking me in here? What do you get out of this?” “You, Yn, whether you want to admit it or not, you’re mine. And I’m not gonna let you be the Giselle to someone else’s Albrecht” “What?! You’re doing this because you’re jealous of Taehyun?” “I like that you’re smart, it saves me from having to explain things”. You decide to tease on him, “So you know he’s better than you, huh? You’re scared of him being Albrecht because you know he’s good”. Hyunjin clenches his jaw, “I was going to let you out after the auditions, but you know what? I don’t want to anymore”. He pulls away from the door, and you hear him walking away.  You punch the door, imagining it’s his face, and scream furiously, “Ah! Hyunjin, you stupid asshole! I swear, I’ll kill you when I get out of here!”. Your knuckles start to bleed from how hard you’re hitting it. So, you stop. This is it. No one’s coming to save you this time. You lean against the door and silently pray that Taehyun gets the role, even without your support from the backstage.  

Hyunjin smirks to himself as he walks back to the auditorium. His plan had worked— no one is taking you from him, not even some nosy newbie. But he didn’t count on Soojin, who had been hiding in the staircase the whole time, listening to everything. She peeks out into the hallway, watching Hyunjin walk away. Once he’s far enough, she rushes toward the bathroom, “Shit! Yn, you're still there?”. You lift your head, hope shining in your eyes, “Soojin?!” “Yeah, it’s me!” “You have to help me! Hyunjin locked me in here!” “I heard everything. Relax, girl, I got your back” “Do you have the key?” “No, but I have a hairpin”. She kneels down and pushes it into the lock, “Do you know how to do that?” “Well, I saw it in movies, so it must be easy”. She wiggles the pin around, but nothing happens. Then, she tries to pull the pin from the lock, “Shit” “What?” “Let’s just say… the pin is kinda…” “Kinda what, Soojin?” “Stuck in the lock” "Stuck?!" "I'm so sorry, Yn. But don't worry, I'll get help. Just stay there" "Seriously?" "My bad, I spoke without thinking” “Just go” “I'm going, I'm going!". You pinch the bridge of your nose and let out a deep sigh as you hear Soojin’s footsteps fading away.

Meanwhile, Taehyun stands at the entrance to the stage, tapping his fingers nervously on the plastic cup. "Where are those two?", he mutters to himself. Then,  he spots Soojin running down the hallway toward him, "Taehyun!". She practically throws herself into his arms, completely out of breath, "Are you okay, Soojin?"  "I'm fine… but Yn isn’t". Taehyun’s face goes pale, "What happened to Yn?". His voice is full of fear, “Did she get hurt? "No, no. Hyunjin locked her in the bathroom” "What?! Why?" "So she’d miss the audition" "No way…” "I tried to help, but I think I just made it worse. You need to get her out of there" "Yeah, but… is there still time?". The answer is no. As soon as he finishes his sentence, the assistant director calls his name, "Next up is Kang Taehyun". Soojin swallows hard, "What now, Tyun?". 

Taehyun looks ahead to the stage—he’s one step closer to his dream. Then, he looks back to the hallway—he’s one step further from the girl of his dreams.

End of part 1.

𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒⠀𓂃⠀⠀˖⠀𓇬⠀˖⠀⠀𓂃⠀𓈒𓂃⠀⠀˖

Don't miss part 2, that's where all the action will be! Lemme know if you want to be tagged.

Tags: @xylatox, @hyunruhi

Masterlist

Playlist

[brxttydevil]

You dying Scenario

MHA Scenarios Masterlist (no link yet)

Characters: Toga, Eri, Miruko, Dabi, Izuku and Aizawa

Tags: Angst, Nightmares (Eri)

Toga

Toga always remembered what she said to you. She said that you two would get married afterward. She had everything planned out and just waiting till after this hero attack. When you died, it was right in front of her. You got badly injured. She tried to stop the blood but it kept flowing into her arms. So she ran somewhere else. You deserve a better place to die. All you wanted was just to be in her arms. She knew nobody could do anything. But she wished someone could.

After you died, Toga had you buried in the flower area she wanted to marry to you in. She would come regularly with your favorite flower and planted it right beside you. Every fight she did, she dedicated it to you and knew one day she would be with you

I will always love you my pretty angel - Toga

Eri

She wouldn’t have known you died until Aizawa came back without you. She would be searching around the house calling out for your name only to not get a response back. Aizawa finally had the courage to tell her you died. She broke down crying. She was crying in Aizawa arms begging him to bring you back.

When your funeral happened she wanted to stay with your body. She knew she can’t but she wished she had seen you longer. She started to have worse nightmares of her life. It would always include you and she would always try to run to you but you end up faded away and just leaving her alone. This kept happening to the point she stayed sleeping with Aizawa and Present Mic. One dream had you in it but you stayed. You actually talked to her till she woke up. That made her smile and cry.

Don’t go. Please. I miss you - Eri

Miruko

You died in the hospital. When she saw you was deadly injured after the fight she took you straight to the hospital. She stayed by your side when she could. She would always come with something new for you. And stay the whole time when she isn’t being a pro hero. You died when she was bringing you a rose and a matching ring for the both of you. And that’s when the nurse broke the news. She went towards your room and saw you there with no heartbeat. She cried and then went to Hawks house to tell him everything while crying.

Your funeral had all the pics you took with your friends and her. She also cried during this time and had to leave because she kept crying too much. She would stay at your grave and tell you things that happened. She buried your ring in with you. And wore her ring as well.

At least you are safe forever bunny - Miruko

Aizawa

He watched you die in front of him. You saved his life from behind and when he turned around he saw your dead body in front of him. His eyes went wide and he held you close to him. He would start being more closed off and sometimes forget to eat just because you usually remind him.

He would sometimes get thoughts about you. And how much you did for him. He smiles sometimes when he sees things that remind him of you and would tell Eri those sweet memories. As well as his students/children.

You still continue to shine like gold in my memories - Aizawa

Izuku

Izuku went out of it. He used his powers to the fullest because you weren't there to stop him. He wanted to defeat every single villain that was near your body when he found you. It was a villain attack.

He would just stay near your grave and Bakugou+ would have to grab him and pull him up to take him back to the dorms to eat and sleep but he would always end up where your body lies.

It should have been me - Izuku

Dabi

He had heard your scream, the last scream you had. It was you calling out for him. He burned everything in his path to reach you. But he was too late. You were halfway gone when he got there. He held you in his arms. With your last breath, you touched his face, smiled at him, and said you love him. Then your body slowly lost its will and you closed your eyes.

It made him go on a rampage and burned a lot of things down. He hunted down those who killed you and gave them a brutal death. He always remembers you and would look at the picture of you every time he thinks about you. No one could tell him what to do at this point.

You idiot. I told you to wait for me - Dabi

[putschki1969]

『Hikaru LIVE TOUR -ROUND-』 KYOTO

Tweet by Hikaru | Instagram story by Hikaru | Instagram post by Hikaru

▼2024 11/30 (Sat) Soul Power, Toyama 17:30 / 18:00 12/07 (Sat) Music Bar Perch, Aichi 17:30 / 18:00 12/14 (Sat) LIVE HOUSE enn 2nd, Miyagi 17:30 / 18:00 12/21 (Sat) MUSE, Kyoto 17:00 / 17:30

▼2025 02/11 (Tue) Club eX, Tokyo 17:00 / 18:00

Setlist Notes: The new song is called “With”. I originally thought it was “Wish”. My bad! Not sure about the order of some of those songs (maybe there’s something missing too??). I had to wait till I was on the train to write everything down but at that point, all the songs had gotten mixed up in my mind. It was made worse by the fact that I didn’t immediately recognise some of them and Hikaru didn’t always introduce them either☠️

That ticket holder clearfile looks so good!! Glad we got this as tokuten. A bit bummed though that there was no special design for the drink ticket😿For those who bought more than one copy of the “Mask” EP, there was a special present too, an alternative cover image. Super pretty 🤩 I mostly spent the rest of my day in Kyoto eating touristy stuff 😅And I headed to the Pokemon Center to get a few exclusive items for my nieces/nephews.

On a side note, those pink gummies were posted by Keiko earlier this week on her Yodel app. Of course I had to get them too (tho the packaging is a bit different, there’s a variety of designs. I got the same design as her today🤗)

1.With 2.Treasure??? 3.Koganeiro no Yakusoku 4.Flow 5.Survivor 6.Under the rain (acoustic ver.) 7.Lack 8.YES/NO 9.Disclose 10.Escape 11.End of line 12.Kiseki En 1.Breathe En 2.紡-TSUMUGU-

Some highlights: I was SUPER close to the stage, it was AMAZING!!🤩 You can even see me quite clearly on the photo that Hikaru posted 🤗So glad she allowed us to take off our masks for the photo. Wouldn’t have wanted to miss that opportunity.

As always, Hikaru had an incredible stage presence, she was confident and cool, oozing charisma during each and every performance. I feel like we made eye contact several times but maybe that’s just wishful thinking 🙃Her singing was powerful and even though I didn’t always recognise the song (shame on me), I had a good time. “Under the rain” was hands down my favourite 💕So beautiful. I almost cried. She sounded better than she ever did before. The acoustic arrangement is very flattering. The upbeat songs were a ton of fun (despite sitting right in front of the speakers☠️). Hikaru literally rocked the stage🔥I almost feel bad for not being more active but I guess I’m just not the type to move a lot. (Clapping is the most I’ll usually do😅)

Sorry for adding lots of stuff on the go. I forgot to mention that Hikaru teased some upcoming solo activities for 2025. She says there are already more or less concrete plans but she will wait to make an announcement until everything is finalised. Of course she also briefly discussed the Kalafina Anniversary concert and asked who of us was planning to go. Obviously, almost everyone said that they would come, Hikaru seemed very happy about that and ensured us that they would put all of their love and strength into delivering the best possible music to us so we should all look forward to it.

EP Mask Tracklist Notes: For some reason I thought there would be more new songs🫣But it’s just “With”. The other tracks have been released digitally already.

1.with 2.End of line 3.Lack 4.Koganeiro no Yakusoku 5.Breathe 6.Kiseki

13th Single 「End of line」 MV (Short ver.) ④

And here’s another music video clip of the MV for Hikaru’s latest single release. You can watch it on Instagram! Also be sure to check out her YouTube Short. The song is featured on her EP “Mask” which is set to be on sale at her solo tour venues.

[alittlebitofeverything04]

Thoughts for Today - Ep. 1-3 of The Heart Killers (BL)

Hey guys. I know, it’s been a fresh minute since I’ve used this blog, well besides for looking at posts without doing some of my own. Trust, I plan to fix that starting today. Don’t expect super frequent posts as I am still in school (cries in final exams) but I do want to be more active here, especially regarding some works I have cooking that I want to share as well as shows I want to rant about. Which brings us to today’s icebreaker, the recent Heart Killers BL series.

And my thoughts so far? I honestly am in love with this series. Might be one of my favorite off all time so far, and that’s saying something coming from a Kinnporsche glazer, rightfully so that series is also incredible. So I’m going to rant about the episodes so far and some other topics I’ve seen floating around the show. So strap in cause I got quite a few things to saw if you’re interested.

EP. 1 - Great start to the series in my opinion. I loved the character intros and all of them are perfect to showing the audience that these are not good people. Extremely morally grey and paints the way to great character development. Makes them more realistic, as people in real life are often morally grey as well, dirty and complex, just like these characters. Brings an element of realism to an otherwise campy and sometimes goofy show about assassins and deceit. Also yes, have to talk about the KantBison scene. Now, I havent watched too much of their work, only pieces from their shows, but from I could see they had great chemistry and it’s on full display here. Their scene was passionate, raw. Another praise to give to the show is how openly sexual it is and I love it. Also loved the dynamics they’ve at that point, Bison being the dreamer, Fadel the reluctant, older brother who does what he thinks is best, Style an annoying but lovable diva, and Kant, a liar who’s doing it for the greater good of his brother. The tension as well between Fadel and Style, chef’s kiss. Can’t wait to see one of them break. Overall, had a great time with the first episode.

EP. 2 - Have to say, the most campy episode so far. But I’m not complaining, Style of course being the reason for this. I got to say, usually I hate characters like this, the overly annoying ones to smother and don’t respect boundaries, so I’m shocked to find that Style is still as lovable to me as ever. I think it’s because of the added subtext that at first, he’s only really doing this for his best friend and his car. So he’s doing it with the benefit of the reward after. It’s messed up and keeps up with the theme of toxicity in this show. And it’s also hilarious to see Fadel have the patience of a saint and put up with his shenanigans. Hell, even giving him money for his products he ‘dumped.’ The tension between the two is great and got even better during the sauna scene. So many thoughts for that, super hot. It showed Fadel being the most giving to Style since they first met, makes sense since that only happens when the two are alone. He leans into his touch almost, closes his eyes and just lets himself feel Style’s hand on him. At least, till Uncle comes in and ruins it. Style basically being the ‘Ricky, when I catch you Ricky’ to him was hilarious. Till we go to the unconsensual kiss. Now, again, makes sense character wise since Style has been described as shameless in his attempts to pursue someone but I like how the show portrays it as something thats still not right. I love that the show isn’t afraid to delve into heavy subjects like this and still manage to portray them in a bad light without romanticizing them like other BL shows. It fits the tone of the series perfectly and I love it. Especially when we got to the end of the episode of Fadel’s fun time to himself. Hot as well, shame we lost a soldier so early. The post nut clarity hitting him hard afterward also made me chuckle out loud. It’s ok, we’ve all have our rough days. The Kant and Bison stuff was also very sweet, Kant paying off his friend to flirt with Bison to make it more convincing to him is a level of dedication I can’t even hate on. Proud of my toxic boy. Love how they’re still learning to trust each other, more Bison to Kant really, showing that he’s not as naive as some might think. Again, had fun with this episode as well as can’t wait for the next.

EP. 3 - Wow, def need to touch some grass after this episode. Here I thought nothing would top the Fadel fun time scene last episode but here we are. Now, there is a lot to say about this episode as got a good amount of info this time. We got introduced to ‘Mother’ who is actually worse than I expected her to be. It’s clear that she doesn’t give a damn about these boys (at least so far), merely using their ‘love’ as a means of manipulation to have the boys blindly follow her orders and take our her enemies. Reminds me of Tony from Pitbabe just gender bent. Showing the outsider brother, sorry I forgot his name at the moment, clearly being set up as a foil for the assassin brothers and I’m interested to see where they take him. Also, lore drop on Fadel? So boy wasn’t just rightfully paranoid, he lost an ex bf in this line of work and poor boy doesn’t want the same happening for his brother. Makes sense since at the beginning of the episode, he covered for Bison and lied about him seeing someone. Another cute brotherly moment besides from the one later one where he tells Bison he’ll help him get out of this so he can have a normal life. I swear, I love these two so much. And of course, more Style annoying Fadel, my favorite pastime. Jk but Fadel being used to it at this point is hilarious. Also loved how Style went to help Fadel and then proceeding to make the boy nervous when he changed into the uniform in the kitchen. Like Style, if only you knew the true effect you had over this boy. Fadel was practically drooling at the mouth looking away from him to stop getting horny. More cute scenes between Kant and Bison but unfortunate when Kant had to report back to Captain who suggests getting into their home instead. Mission failed successfully? (Iykyk). The club scene with Fadel was amazing, Style is right when he says that he’s handsome to be making like that on the side. But when he started imagining he was in fron of Fadel instead of the woman? They’re literally soulmates your honor, two minds think alike. Interesting though that after Fadel saved him from those three after the club, he’s switches on wanting to sleep with him to actually wanting to know more about him. His suspicions opposite to Kant’s, who wants to date Bison for the reason of staying out jail, to Style, who actually wants to know more about Fadel, what makes him tick and to let his walls down. So makes sense when they finally have sex, he’s not enjoying as much as he would’ve before he changed his goal about him. The whole sex scene actually, while still good, feels underwhelming for those two and it should be. Fadel’s doing it because he claims it’ll get Style off him, which lets be fr, he’s dying for that cookie since that last episode, so he feels this is mandatory and not into it as much as he would be if he actually vulnerable with Style. To which Style picks up on. He looks attentive, not as in the moment as one think he would be because he knows Fadel isn’t doing this because he really likes Style but because he feels like he has to. It’s more interesting than it is erotic and I love how the direction for that scene was. And the punch to Style after? Much deserved cause I did not like that whole grief club scene. Maybe to was to further hit home that Style isn’t a good person or maybe this foreshadowing for something, idk. I’m not a fan and it seems I’m not the only one. However, I can’t say the same for the ending of the show. The BDSM scene. Now the show is filled with triggers, stated that very early on, as early as the trailers so this didn’t surprise me too much. The roofing however, was interesting but makes sense since Kant needs to get more evidence at their house. But when the tables flipped, it catches him off guard. Him clearly hesitant and somewhat scared at first but not saying anything cause he’s far in to give up now. But to him starting to melt into and possibly feeling good was another level of spice I welcomed. I have so much more to say but maybe I’ll save that for after the series is over for a full analysis.

Overall, the series is so much fun and entertaining, the level of tension, incoming angst and storytelling is all wonderfully done and it leads me to being excited for the next coming week and how they’re going to redeem this band of morally grey men. That’s what character development is for. If they started out as goody two shoes then the show would be boring. The element of realism in the toxicity and deceit all these characters have is honestly what’s setting up for some amazing drama to come and it boggles my mind that some people are using that reason to drop the show. The show was very clear that it would go into some heavy subject matter and people hating the show on that are the reason we can’t have nice things. I understand not wanting to watch the show due to some of its triggers but calling the show ‘bad’ because of these reasons is absolutely ridiculous. There are other shows who try to go into this subject matter but don’t have the good writing Heart Killers have to pull it off. Sorry for the rant but had to get it off my chest.

All in all, watch the series if you can handle the heavy subject material as it’s definitely worth the watch. And don’t if you don’t! We all have our preferences but don’t hate something when it isn’t finished yet please. Let’s spread love, not hate. But I think I’ve all I wanted to say. Can’t wait till next week cause the show is getting good.

See you all in the next post, my marvels. Bye!

[rainintheevening]

Part I - Part II ... Part XVIII - Part XIX

It hurts to see Peter hurting.

More than the state of their city (still theirs), more than the shattered buildings (he imagines the inferno of Christmas with a little shiver), even more than the dark smudges under their mother's eyes (he and Susan make all the meals during the holidays), it's Peter who wrenches at his heart, ache welling behind Ed's sternum.

He sees how Peter yearns for a sword, an enemy, a way to make all the brokenness around them right. More than sees, though, Edmund knows.

Knows the hunger that eats at the back of the throat, the way a single page in the newspaper swamps security like a tidal wave, the helplessness that weighs shoulders and hands till falling to fury or despair seem the only choices available. Hunger and helplessness had been his old play-fellows, back Before, and now he finds their heads reared again, but he also finds himself too taken up with watching over his brother to pay much attention to them. He forgets himself in his concern for Peter.

Peter does not cry again, not that Edmund sees or hears at least. He sleeps little, laughs less.

The girls too are shaken by the alterations to what had once been their world, but Lucy laughs more than she cries, and Susan steps easily into the motherly role.

Peter does all the shopping. In the span of their three weeks holidays, he also fixes all the bicycles in the garden shed, digs up the whole bed of the Victory garden, mends two broken chairs and a chest of drawers, takes a broken clock to pieces (Ed is the one who finds the problem), and fights four different boys, two of them more than once.

Many of the children who had stayed through the whole of the bombing are quick to sneer at those who did not.

“As if we chose to go!” Edmund complains.

“Cowards,” hisses Daisy Moore as she passes them in the churchyard, and her brother laughs.

“Got scared by a few rockets, and left your poor mother all alone in her shelter, listening to us all burn?”

Ed does not relax his grip on Peter's arm until Daisy and Danny have disappeared, until the tremble of taught muscles under his hand has melted away, until the growl has died in Peter's throat.

“Look,” Ed says with forced lightness, guiding Peter toward the street where Lucy leans against a small tree, singing to herself. “I know it was terrible, but there's no call for talking like that. It might make you feel better for a moment, but it makes someone else feel horrid for awhile, so it's definitely a sum-total loss.”

Peter does not answer.

The next day he and Susan come home from a walk, and his sleeve is torn and there is blood on his knuckles.

“They insulted Susan,” is all he says to Edmund in the mirror, bent over, washing wounded hands.

Edmund is glad when they go back to school.

At St. Maurice’s, Peter's responsibilities are clear, he's respected, he has the wide open sky and the wild moors to ride over.

They step off the train at the village station, and Ed sees him breathing deep, smiling at Colin's enthusiastic greeting, leaping to catch a stolen cap and prolong a wild chase along the platform.

Ed joins Peter very early for a ride the next morning, slapped awake by the cold wet May air, but he sees the light in Peter's eyes, the way he greets each horse in turn, and Ed strokes Rose's neck, tickles under her chin as he smiles himself.

“Perhaps he'll be alright.”

But then this term Wollers is gone, graduated, good, steady old boy off to the war, and the new Head Boy ticks Peter off twice in the first week for ‘interfering’, slaps Alexander Morrow in Ed's form with a hundred lines (in French!) for cheeking him in the hall, and generally does his best to let everyone know he's in charge, while also making everyone hate him for it.

Ed hates it, especially for Peter's sake, when Peter's only a year younger and also named head of the Sixth Form. A few weeks in, Peter joins Ed on the way in to lunch, and his brow is drawn low over still-smouldering eyes, jaw set in a hard line.

“Beaumont”, he says, without preamble. “Trying to tell me what to do about Gilly when it's a Sixth Form matter. Now who’s interfering?”

“Not you,” Ed says mildly, watches Peter's shoulders drop, watches him exhale. “Just don't give him the satisfaction of marking you up for anything,” he adds.

“I know, I know,” Peter sighs. “Jolly well wish I could box him, but I can't unless he starts it. I don't know why they chose him.”

At least Pete has rugger to shine at, Ed thinks. Peter had sat his Junior Cert at the end of last term (and passed with Credit or Distinction in all subjects, which Ed is very proud of him for) so he's more relaxed with his own studies, making time for more tutoring of the young ones, and making the rugby team.

Edmund tries out for the Junior team, gets named a spare. He knows he's not strong, but he is fast, and slippery.

A letter from Dad comes, forwarded from Mum, and it is cheerful, telling them things they already know about the successes in North Africa, expounding on his work learning Arabic, giving a brief written sketch of the desert sunset that strikes up vividly at them like heat from the sand till Edmund can see it as clearly as the view west from Tashbaan.

Peter is quiet though, broody for days after. Ed watches, wonders, worries.

Three months and Peter will be 17, a year off of signing up. Sometimes Edmund is certain Peter would have already gone, fudged his age and signed his name; he doesn't doubt they would take a strapping youth like Peter with very few questions. But he'd promised Mum, and Peter Pevensie is not a promise-breaker.

He's also not the only one hurting, not the only one missing Dad, missing Narnia, but Ed doesn't like to worry his brother, doesn't want to add to the concerns Peter carries.

There are questions sitting somewhere in his stomach, and he tries to ignore them, but they've grown heavier over the days, weeks, months. Time ticking by, another spring, and something about the sunrises, the green flush racing across the quad, rising in the victory garden, the apple trees by the stables bursting into bloom, it makes the longing flare bright in him.

As always the memories stay hazy, sometimes fearfully so, only brought back in sharp relief, a cleared streak in fogged up glass, in odd moments. Ed thinks there's a pattern in it—when a lie hovers on the tip of his tongue, he hears Oreius's voice; when Peter turns with an angry word, he remembers tense council rooms; when an apology fails to melt Edmund's own shame, he sees Tumnus's face. But there are smaller, less specific flashes too, and one day, hard at work with the violin in one of the practice rooms, he gets lost in the music, notes dancing under his fingers, spinning, swooping, diving, soaring, and he plays and plays and plays until he coasts to a halt, stands breathless and a little dizzy, feeling exactly as he had after his first real flight on the back of a gryphon, and his hand on the bow grips involuntarily tighter, as if feathers and fur are slipping through his fingers.

“Oh, don't stop.”

A hoarse whisper making Ed spin round, but it is only Peter leaning in the doorway, yearning writ large across his face, until their eyes meet and it twists into sorrow.

Only then does Edmund realise his cheeks are wet, and he pivots quickly back, lays the violin down gentle, deliberate.

Peter says nothing, but he comes across the room, stands close behind, close enough that Ed decides he doesn't care, and turns, falls into Peter's chest.

Arms wrap strong around him, smile bunches the cheek that presses against his head, but still Peter says nothing, and Edmund is glad. Just for a minute he hides his face in his big brother's shoulder, and lets himself cry. Peter holds him, safe and tight, and he stays, sniffling into Peter’s vest, until Peter says, “It sounded like Narnia. What was it?”

Ed sighs, pulls away to scrub a sleeve across his nose. “I don't know. It just sort of… came over me. Or out of me. Or to me– I don't know.”

Slow grinning pride breaks across Peter's face. “So you're a composer now too!”

And Ed must needs shove him away, rolling his eyes. “I didn't exactly write it down, so I'll probably never be able to play it again.”

“That doesn't change how beautiful it was,” Peter says, hopeful and true like Edmund needs him to be.

He fingers the violin strings, plucking them gently, tick tock tick tock tick, and he says it quiet.

“It's been about ten years. In Narnia. Without us. If the time difference between the professor's visit and ours is consistent.”

“Corin will be a man,” Peter murmurs in the surprised tone of grown-ups talking about nieces or nephews they haven't seen in ages. “And what would you bet Aravis and Cor are married?”

“Peridan and Anna must have several children by now.” Ed’s voice catches in his throat at the thought of his friend, who had sworn he would make Edmund godfather of all his sons, as well as letting him teach them all how to fight. And oh, Ed had stood up at his wedding as best man, hadn't he? While Peter had given Anna away, in lieu of long-lost father or brothers.

“Erah and Pearl–” Peter starts, but can't finish.

“We weren't trying to leave,” Edmund says. “I wish they knew that.”

“We were only following Lucy into another adventure.” Peter has a little half-smile on his lips, and then his arm around Ed’s shoulders is warm.

“The professor said it wouldn't all be easy.” Edmund rests his head on Peter's shoulder.

“Do you ever wish-?” Peter starts, but cuts himself off with a decided “No, I don't.”

Edmund knows, he's wondered himself, once or twice on difficult days, but he always answers the same as Peter. He'll always be grateful they had been brought to Narnia.

But there's one question he does hesitate over, as the seasons change, and the clock ticks on, and he voices it now, barely above a whisper: “Are you so sure we'll go back?”

“Of course,” Peter says at once. “Aslan said we would always be kings and queens of Narnia. We'll get back somehow.”

“You're sure?” Edmund pulls away enough to look hard up into Peter's eyes, searching for a hint of doubt.

“Quite. We have to.” Peter swallows hard, looks away out the window where the rain falls steady in the quad. “We have to,” softer now.

Ed sees the longing in his brother's eyes, and he wishes suddenly that just being here with Edmund and the music and the rain was enough for Peter. But he loves his brother anyway.

“Alright, your majesty,” he says lightly. “Now come on, the supper bell will ring any minute.”

He snaps the clasps on the violin case closed, leads the way out of the room, humming the whisper of wings in a blue sky.

Behind him, Peter is silent.

Next

[lovewillthaw-j]

Frozen II big screen re-watch (part 1)

I had the privilege of watching Frozen II today on the big screen. I'm on a short trip to another state and for some reason, the cinemas there are doing a re run of F2. Boy, was it an emotional trip for me! I felt like I relived 5 years! I last watched F2 on the big screen in 2019 (pre-pandemic). F2 caused me to join Tumblr in Jan 2020 and it's my first ever Fandom.

F2 is definitely much better when you watch it on a big screen. The experience is just so much better. 1) the animation looks so good bigger. You can see micro expressions in the character's faces. The special effects are awesome. 2) the audio experience is so much better with good speakers with bass and surround sound. Both of these make it easier to not focus on the plot flaws.

I teared and teared throughout the show. You must understand, although my blog is quiet now, I was madly in love with F2 in the first year of my blog. Besides making hundreds of gifs, I also wrote essays on locations, the plot, the themes in F2, Elsa's powers, Anna's love, etc. I'm also a musician and the songs and score mean so much to me. I recorded myself playing the piano and guitar to Elsa, Anna, Iduna singing, analyzed musical motifs, made some discoveries of my own (Hansorcery most importantly), made a cappella versions of songs and some humorous mashups.

It was really a trip down memory lane today. I reminisced over scenes that I have giffed. Giffing is a process that makes you really familiar with the scenes as you go over it multiple times till the crop, timing and colour is just right. I was a noob when I first started, and I learnt along the way with help from friendly fans here. I was reminded of those scenes that took my breath away, scenes that made my heart go "awwww", scenes which are funny, scenes which have been focal points of my analyses. I remembered my boobs analyses (lol about how I ogled them for research), Elsa's see through back of travel gown, tender sister moments, cute Bruni gifs, beautiful scenes of the girls, my transition gifs of Elsa riding on Nokk, raw animation, and the list goes on.

I remembered all the music, music which I listened to countless times till I dreamt the music in my sleep (I kid you not, this is a thing that happens to me). I remembered my hair standing during the creepy scenes - the ship scene (on my very first watch I was so worried they were going to reveal the dead bodies of the parents😱) and Olaf dying scene (the 6 notes motif is sooooo creepy you know something bad is going to happen). I felt the power of the fight scenes between Elsa and Gale and Elsa and Bruni and Elsa and Nokk, and Anna vs the giants. I teared at the tender sister scenes in the bedroom and outside the ship. And I teared when Elsa gloriously outran the flood and stopped it with her mighty wall of ice.

I was enthralled by the songs once again. Especially the big three songs. Into the unknown, especially when Elsa steps into the magical forest created by her magic. Show yourself is all about Elsa, Elsa is sooooo gorgeous in that entire song, from her tied back pony tail look to her hair down look to her dress transformation. And for The Next Right Thing I felt how crushed Anna was and how Kristen Bell cried for real in the song as she recorded it. I teared as Olaf died in her arms and that was the moment Anna realized Elsa was dead too.

(I have more to write)

[griffin-girl-r]

Breathe

Created: 09.10.2023

Finished: 09.10.2023

Edited: 09.10.2023

Age: Newborn

Word count: 1,485

Warnings: Birth complications

Request: Yes (Wattpad user)

Pairing: BlackHill

Summary: Natasha and Maria get ready to welcome their baby into the world but the complicated delivery they experience brings something unexpected for them.

—

Maria was lying on the hospital bed with her wife, Natasha, sitting beside her for emotional support.

The couple was about to welcome their miracle baby into the world and they couldn't be happier.

Thanks to the medical advancements that were created by Bruce in his lab, with a little bit of financial support from Tony, the scientist discovered a way for two women to have their own biological child and the first couple that volunteered to be tested on was, obviously, Maria and Natasha.

Needless to say, it was the best decision they took in their entire lives because it offered them the chance to fulfill their dreams of becoming parents.

Sure, they have thought about adoption and alternative methods, like a donor, but it, just, didn't feel right for them.

So that's what brought them to this moment.

The joyous day when Maria, who had been the one to carry the baby, entered in labor, and each passing second brought the couple closer to the moment they would hold their tiny angel in their arms.

-

"You can do this, baby." Natasha encouraged Maria, her voice filled with anxiety and anticipation "You're so strong."

"It hurts so much, Nat." Maria cried out in pain, squeezing Natasha's hand with such strenght as if she wanted to break it

Maria was already in labor for the past 20 hours and the doctors buzzed around the expectant mother, emanating an air of concern.

They knew all too well that a prolonged labor was nothing but harmful for both the mother and the baby.

"I know, my love." Natasha wiped the sweat away from Maria's forehead with her hand before placing a firm kiss on it "The doctors are here to help you and Bruce will make sure that it won't be long till our baby is here."

"I want this baby out of me!" Maria screamed as a contraction hit her full force

"Call down, Agent." Bruce stormed inside the room, adjusting his medical gloves on his hands "The time for your baby to come is here."

"Thank God." Natasha breathed out reliefed "You heard that, sweetheart? Our baby needs you now more than ever. I'm right beside you. We're in this together."

"You better!" Maria groaned

Bruce walked over to the bed and placed an oxygen mask over Maria's face, carefully helping the pregnant woman to change her position and prepare for the delivery.

"I love you so much, Masha." Natasha whispered into her wife's ear, brushing the wet hair away from Maria's forehead "We'll get through this as a team."

"Alright, Maria." Bruce positioned himself at the foot of the bed "You know what you need to do. Now push."

-

"I can't do this!" Maria screamed, overwhelmed by the unbearable pain that was cursing through her body

"I can see the head!" Bruce shouted "Just one more push!"

"Tasha..." The brunette breathed out exhausted, her face pale "Please, take care of our baby."

Natasha shook her head as she squeezed Maria's hand reassuringly "I will but you are also going to be there to help me raise our baby."

"You know my mother died to bring me into this world." Maria tearfully said "What if I'm destinated to die during childbirth as well? Is that how she felt? Without any regret to die only for the wellbeing of the baby."

"That won't happen, babe." Natasha reassured with a rushed tone "You just focus on taking deep breaths and don't worry about anything else."

"No one's going to die today." Bruce loudly declared "Not you, not your baby. Not on my watch."

"Ah!" Maria screamed as she gathered the last remains of strenght she had left in her body

Silence settled over the room and Maria let out a deep sigh in relief, relaxation washing over her entire being.

"You did it, love!" Natasha cheered, kissing Maria's dry lips

But something was odd.

Maria weakly lifted her head and scanned the room with her eyes. The relief she felt was quickly replaced by worry as fear gripped her heart.

The deafening silence in the room persisted, casting an eerie veil of dread over everyone.

"Why isn't the baby crying?" Maria mumbled, voicing out the question that was present in her and Natasha's minds

"Shit!" Bruce loudly cussed, turning around to a nearby table, his hands working on auto-pilot

"Bruce?" Natasha swallowed the lump in her throat before slightly standing up to catch a glimpse of what was going on "What's happening? What's wrong with our baby?"

"She's not breathing." Bruce swiftly moved as he carefully placed the newborn baby on the table

"No..." Maria cried out in disbelief "It can't be."

"She's going to be okay." Natasha tried to keep her tears at bay, failing miserably in doing so, her heart tightening in her chest "Our baby is going to be okay."

"Come on, little baby." Bruce huffed as he started performing CPR on the baby "You ain't going anywhere."

"Please, baby." Maria cried as Natasha pulled Maria's head into her chest "Breathe."

"Just breathe, sweetie." Natasha continued, hugging Maria tighter to her chest

Time seemed to stand still in those moments of uncertainty.

They couldn't have fought so fiercely to have a baby only to have their hearts crushed before they even got the chance to hold their baby girl into their arms.

"Please, Y/N." Maria cried

"Come on!" Bruce shouted, a vein on his neck turning green "Your mothers need you here with them!"

"My life for hers!" Maria shouted, her gaze shifting upwards towards the ceiling as tears cascaded uncontrollably down her cheeks "If that's what you want then take it! Just save my baby."

Just then, it was as if the heavens heard Maria's pleading, and a cry pierced through the room, though weak at first.

"She's back!" Bruce laughed in disbelief "We got her back!"

Maria shot her eyes closed tightly, a cry of relief escaping her mouth as the weight of Bruce's words settled in.

Natasha's knees suddenly gave up on her and she dropped back into the chair underneath her as her limbs froze and she couldn't move anymore.

Bruce turned around, holding you in his arms and he gently placed you in Maria's waiting arms.

Your parents instantly noticed how your bluish skin was slowly turning pale and then back to its normal color.

Natasha reached her trembling hand toward your tiny foot and marveled at how small it was, while Maria placed a soft kiss on the soft tufts of brown baby hair that adorned your tiny head.

"Welcome to the world, Y/N." Maria smiled, as she looked into your big, innocent, green eyes

-

"So what happened then?" Natasha asked Bruce a few hours later while she sat on Maria's bed, her arms wrapped around her girls

"She experienced a nuchal cord that cut the oxygen flow." Bruce looked over the file in his hand

"Bruce..." Natasha sighed "I speak a lot of languages but your medical language ain't one."

"Explain it in terms we can understand, Banner." Maria looked up from your sleeping face to Bruce as she kept slowly rocking you

"She experienced a cord compression which literally means that she was born with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck too tightly." Bruce explained "It's not an unusual thing to occur during difficult births. It happens in around 20-30% of cases and the long labour Maria had just made everything a little bit more difficult."

Maria looked back down at the baby in her arms and she teared up before voicing her concerns.

"Will she be okay?" Maria's trembling voice choked back tears "Is the lack of oxygen she experienced in the first moments of life going to leave lasting consequences?"

"She's going to be just fine." Bruce smiled reassuringly "I checked her and I can confirm that she will be able to live a completely normal life without any lasting consequences."

Both mothers allowed relief to wash over them and they shifted their attention back to you but not before sharing a quick kiss.

"I told you that everything would be okay." Natasha whispered, your tiny fingers tightly wrapped around the redhead's index finger

"I am so happy to finally have her here with us." Maria chuckled tearfully "She gave us quite the scare."

"That you can say again, love." Natasha laughed

-

This wasn't the perfect birth Maria and Natasha imagined that they would experience but it had its unique way to ensure that the new mothers would never forget this day.

This day reminded them of the fragility of life and, at the same time, of its beauty and the moments that are worth living for.

Despite everything, all that mattered was that their baby was alive, healthy, and breathing.

Every hardship they faced served as the reminder to appreciate each day and live it to the fullest.

—

Permanent taglist: @lizlil , @mmmmokdok , @sheneonromanoff , @justarandomreaderxoxo , @observeowl , @darkstar225 , @circe143 , @lovelyy-moonlight , @natsxwife , @dannipotatoo , @youralphawolf72 , @ravensinthedaylight

[masterhallmark]

I'm really sick of the "Pirates are Lost Boys who grew up and escaped Pan" theory

1) The book is a children's story, not a horror novel.

2) The idea Peter kills boys who grow up is based on one throwaway line that says he "thins them out" if there are too many, which can mean several different things.

3) HOOK WAS A PIRATE WITH A CREW BEFORE LANDING IN NEVERLAND! He literally has a backstory in the book and several speeches J.M. Barrie gave about going to Eton, running away, and becoming a pirate. The crew arrived in Neverland AS IS.

4) The book mentions Peter will travel with the souls of dying kids halfway to the afterlife so they aren't scared. He also desperately begs children to save Tinkerbell, tries to sacrifice himself for Wendy, saves Tiger Lilly while commenting that the pirates were being unfair when capturing her, even tries to help Hook regain his footing during a fight, and saves the Neverbird's eggs from being destroyed. Does that sound like a psychopath to you?

5) The ONLY TIME we see Peter try to kill a Lost Boy is when he mistakenly thinks said Lost Boy killed Wendy, and said Lost Boy told Peter to kill him. Once it turns out Wendy is alive, not only is the boy forgiven, but the only punishment Tinkerbell (the actual culprit) gets is banishment.

The entire purpose of the book is to contrast the innocence of youth with the responsibilities of adulthood. The negative traits Peter has are meant to show the dangers of refusing to grow up, while Hook is meant to show the dangers of growing up TOO much. Hook OBSESSES over good form and acting proper to the point he almost FAINTS when Wendy sees a stain on his shirt.

Also, the entire book "Peter and Wendy" and every other variation of the story JM Barrie wrote is FREE on the internet. Anyone can read it RIGHT HERE http://neverpedia.com/pan/Read:Peter_and_Wendy

There is no good reason for this misinformation spreading. It is easily available.

Passages from the book under cut, since last time I posted something like this someone tried to argue with me

At first Mrs. Darling did not know, but after thinking back into her childhood she just remembered a Peter Pan who was said to live with the fairies. There were odd stories about him, as that when children died he went part of the way with them, so that they should not be frightened.

-----

"It lifted Michael off the ground," he cried; "why should it not carry you?"

"Both of us!"

"It can't lift two; Michael and Curly tried."

"Let us draw lots," Wendy said bravely.

"And you a lady; never." Already he had tied the tail round her. She clung to him; she refused to go without him; but with a "Good-bye, Wendy," he pushed her from the rock; and in a few minutes she was borne out of his sight. Peter was alone on the lagoon.

The rock was very small now; soon it would be submerged. Pale rays of light tiptoed across the waters; and by and by there was to be heard a sound at once the most musical and the most melancholy in the world: the mermaids calling to the moon.

Peter was not quite like other boys; but he was afraid at last. A tremour ran through him, like a shudder passing over the sea; but on the sea one shudder follows another till there are hundreds of them, and Peter felt just the one. Next moment he was standing erect on the rock again, with that smile on his face and a drum beating within him. It was saying, "To die will be an awfully big adventure."

------

Nevertheless the bird was determined to save him if she could, and by one last mighty effort she propelled the nest against the rock. Then up she flew; deserting her eggs, so as to make her meaning clear.

Then at last he understood, and clutched the nest and waved his thanks to the bird as she fluttered overhead. It was not to receive his thanks, however, that she hung there in the sky; it was not even to watch him get into the nest; it was to see what he did with her eggs.

There were two large white eggs, and Peter lifted them up and reflected. The bird covered her face with her wings, so as not to see the last of them; but she could not help peeping between the feathers.

I forget whether I have told you that there was a stave on the rock, driven into it by some buccaneers of long ago to mark the site of buried treasure. The children had discovered the glittering hoard, and when in a mischievous mood used to fling showers of moidores, diamonds, pearls and pieces of eight to the gulls, who pounced upon them for food, and then flew away, raging at the scurvy trick that had been played upon them. The stave was still there, and on it Starkey had hung his hat, a deep tarpaulin, watertight, with a broad brim. Peter put the eggs into this hat and set it on the lagoon. It floated beautifully.

The Never bird saw at once what he was up to, and screamed her admiration of him; and, alas, Peter crowed his agreement with her. Then he got into the nest, reared the stave in it as a mast, and hung up his shirt for a sail. At the same moment the bird fluttered down upon the hat and once more sat snugly on her eggs. She drifted in one direction, and he was borne off in another, both cheering.

-----

"It was poisoned, Peter," she told him softly; "and now I am going to be dead."

"O Tink, did you drink it to save me?"

"Yes."

"But why, Tink?"

Her wings would scarcely carry her now, but in reply she alighted on his shoulder and gave his nose a loving bite. She whispered in his ear "You silly ass," and then, tottering to her chamber, lay down on the bed.

His head almost filled the fourth wall of her little room as he knelt near her in distress. Every moment her light was growing fainter; and he knew that if it went out she would be no more. She liked his tears so much that she put out her beautiful finger and let them run over it.

Her voice was so low that at first he could not make out what she said. Then he made it out. She was saying that she thought she could get well again if children believed in fairies.

Peter flung out his arms. There were no children there, and it was night time; but he addressed all who might be dreaming of the Neverland, and who were therefore nearer to him than you think: boys and girls in their nighties, and naked papooses in their baskets hung from trees.

"Do you believe?" he cried.

Tink sat up in bed almost briskly to listen to her fate.

She fancied she heard answers in the affirmative, and then again she wasn't sure.

"What do you think?" she asked Peter.

"If you believe," he shouted to them, "clap your hands; don't let Tink die."

Many clapped.

Some didn't.

A few beasts hissed.

The clapping stopped suddenly; as if countless mothers had rushed to their nurseries to see what on earth was happening; but already Tink was saved. First her voice grew strong, then she popped out of bed, then she was flashing through the room more merry and impudent than ever. She never thought of thanking those who believed, but she would have like to get at the ones who had hissed.

"And now to rescue Wendy!"

[monstersinthecosmos]

If it's okay to ask, when and how did you get into the vampire chronicles? Love your fics btw !!

thank you!!!!! :D

I think the short answer is: I fell asleep watching the IWTV movie when I was 10 but I always remembered it and then a few years later I stumbled onto the book and went OH THERE'S A BOOK! and then I was done for.

But I'm trying to warm up to write so I'll give a long answer too 🤓

so like, I saw some of the IWTV movie when I was like 10 or so? (I'm old so it was 1998 when I was 10.) My friend wanted to watch it, it was like my Rich Friend when I was a kid, I remember distinctly that for some reason we had the opportunity to watch it in her mom's room on the big TV LOL so we were in there. I started watching horror films when I was like 6 and my anti-censorship parents didn't believe in even restricting R rated movies in the house so that all wasn't a big deal at all, and by age 11 I knew like all the words in Fright Night and From Dusk Till Dawn from watching them so much so I was excited for VAMPIRES!

HOWEVER, this movie was like a LITTLE too grown up and dry and I didn't really get it? And I know I fell asleep!!! 😂😂😂 So I have a really vivid memory of the rat wine scene, and that was about it. I'd also seen the last minute with Tom Cruise pulling the lace out of his sleeves on HBO one night or something, and those two parts like REALLY stuck with me vividly!!!

Cut a couple years ahead, now I'm 12. I'm having a sleepover at my best friend's house and she was like my baby bat friend that we like, discovered goth stuff together and got weird together and supported each other becoming the Weird Girls in school right? And we'd have sleepovers and stay up all night lighting candles and listening to Orgy and other silly music of The Year 2000 and we'd write like little RP stories about demons and whatever.

So we're sitting in her room and I'm just kinda spacing out and I see the word Vampire on one of the books on her shelf, and my like Baby Bat radar went off and I went WHAT'S THIS, A REAL ADULT PROPER NOVEL ABOUT VAMPIRES?? I don't think I'd read any! My friend was like "Oh yeah I stole it from my mom" !! lmao.

It was the red paperback of TVL! You know, this version!

NOW! I'm very spoiler averse and always have been so like, when I opened it up and realized it was BOOK 2 I was like, oH i cannot read this, what's book 1. OMG IWTV? THE RAT MOVIE?????

idk why but that excited me SO MUCH. Like my imagination went crazy. And I don't remember how I read IWTV, I might have gone and taken it out of the library? But I went back and read IWTV first!

(as a side note, the sleepover friend died when we were in our mid-20s, I just always want to pay respects when she comes up because what a special and influential person who was in my life at the exact right time and I will love her forever !! I cried about her in the shower last night out of nowhere lol.)

And like I was SO in love with IWTV and with the writing, like the writing just really spoke to me and like, changed the way I thought about mundane things so much! I think this was during summer break and I remember while I was reading IWTV, walking to my friend's house at night became SO sensuous to me, I remember looking up at the thick green leaves in the trees and like having that Anne Rice language in my brain just had me losing my mind constantly. EVERYTHING became so poetic to me and so beautiful, I was seeing beauty everywhere I looked.

Looking back like, one of the experiences I have of VC is that because I read it so young, I've had the chance to reread the books every so often and like, as I got older I'd get more and more out of them because I was like a kid and my reading wasn't very strong so there are definitely parts of the story that went over my head, either because my comprehension just missed it or because I was too young to like understand deep complicated emotions, idk?

But I got started on them that summer! It was sooo exciting. I used to peek at the page of Anne Rice's other works at the front of the book and it had all the VCs listed and I remember like, really enjoying the book and I would just be like giddy with excitement that there were ALL THESE OTHER BOOKS and I couldn't wait to find out what was in them?

For some reason, HBO or Starz or somebody was playing IWTV alllll the time that summer so I kept noticing that it was on and I was trying so hard to resist because I wanted to finish the book first and then watch it, and I remember at one point I was like WHAT IF I JUST TURN IT ON TO SEE WHAT SCENE IT IS?! and I turned it on and saw when Armand introduces himself and I was like ARMAND??? THERE'S A BOOK CALLED ARMAND! HE HAS A BOOK, HE MUST BE IMPORTANT??!?! I wasn't up to that part of the book yet!!!That was quite exciting.

But YEAH BASICALLY. That's how it started, and I spent the next two years reading VC! Looking back I don't actually know why it took me so long, because I know like, once I got a book I'd finish it in like 2 or 3 days LOL. Probably I was saving money to buy each book or I had to wait for my mom to take me to the library or something. Merrick was the most current book, too, and I was so excited to CATCH UP and then when I went to buy it I realized it was a MAYFAIR CROSSOVER so I had to take a few months to do the Mayfair detour LOL.

So anyway!!! That's basically what happened! It was like 2000-2001 and it was also the time when I discovered fanfiction ! And I had time to like, post a single VC on FF.net before the FF.net purge where they axed the Anne Rice categories and banned porn LMAO. When fandom moved over to LJ I had gotten into writing for other fandoms so I kinda fell out with the VC fandom. I also became really upset with Anne Rice when she had the Amazon meltdown and I was very fucking done supporting her for a really long time until I was recovering from a bad breakup and one night decided to get stoned and reread TOBT and it drew me back in.

I also coincidentally had fallen out of fandoming and writing fic for like, idk 8 years or so. When LJ died I just was so exhausted and gave up writing fic, and there's a whole other story about how my creative values changed when I was in college blah blah. But then like, some years went by, it was like 2016 or something and I decided to do a VC reread (stoned again, too, oops LOL) and I had made a silly meme on FB and my friend told me it would succeed on Tumblr. I was like I DIDNT KNOW THERE WAS A VC FANDOM ON TUMBLR??? But she was right and the meme did in fact blow up but it's on my old account with my real name so no one has to know it was me. But I went OH WOW THERE'S A FANDOM! So I created this blog to join the fun. 😂

And then like, I was rereading QOTD and I had just recently discovered AO3 (because remember I've survived several fic purges now I'm like, damn where are the kids posting fic these days lol) and would you believe how scandalized and upset I was when I went to read Devil's Minion porn on Ao3 and there WASN'T ANY LMAOOOO. So I was like, goddamnit, I have to write it myself lol. And that's how I got into writing VC fic as an adult after an 8 year fic hiatus. SO THAT WAS THAT that's how that happened that's why I am here today because I made really cool friends on VCblr and I decided to stick around.

This got longer than I intended but it was nice to sit here and bullshit for a minute, sorry if this was more information than you asked for. 😂😂😂

[holy-hysteria]

I’ve seen a lot of headcannons on the Sinclair brothers in high school and here’s my take on them:

Bo Sinclair

I don’t think Bo was popular AT ALL.

He’s the kid that gets in fights all the time, disrespectful to teachers + peers, and just doesn’t give a shit whatsoever about anything.

He’s super smart though. He never does his work but he understands what’s going on. I think he was a naturally gifted kid, didn’t have to try in school to get good grades, probably could have been in the top of his class. He probably tried to use his grades when he was younger to get his parents attention but when that didn’t happen, he just gave up.

Along with being smart, I think he’s also pretty good at art too. I feel like if Trudy gave Bo as much attention as she gave Vincent and his art, Bo could have been just as good as Vincent. But since Trudy neglected Bo and his interests, he kinda gave up on it. Thought that it really wasn’t good enough.

His favorite class was probably math. I know most people would think shop but i really think he’d like math.

I think he did play sports in high school, or at least tried to. His temper got him kicked off most of the teams. Out of all the sports he played though, I think he probably enjoyed wrestling. It was a sport where he could get on the mat and all he had to focus on for a few minutes was getting a pin and scoring points. No thoughts about home or his parents, just the sport.

He probably didn’t have many girlfriends in high school. I feel like his whole demeanor in school kind out girls off so he didn’t get much action till high school was over.

I think the one teacher to actually like him was the librarian. The librarian probably knew about how Vincent was favorited and they felt like he was misunderstood. He probably ate lunch in there too since it was quiet and no one was around. He’d even help shelf books and things like that.

I don’t think Bo really had friends. Sure he’d hangout with the douchebag jocks, but it was never more than being friendly and cracking a joke here and there.

Probably started smoking bc of them.

Wanted to be an electrician and would read any books he could find on it while eating lunch in the library. ( That’s why the town still has power and everything works electrical wise down there. )

Vincent Sinclair

I’m gonna say it, Vincent was probably popular. He’s the kid that’s nice to everyone, teachers love him, and he’s always willing to lend a hand.

He was on student council. He helped make decorations for the dances and design the class shirts.

He did get bullied a little in school, only by certain kids, but I feel like he got through school pretty unscathed.

Like Bo, Vincent really didn’t have any true friends. Sure he was friendly with people, and would eat lunch with them sometime, but they weren’t super close.

Vincent had a lot of pressure put on him by Trudy. He always felt like his every move was being watched. As the “gold child”, Vincent felt like he had a lot to live up to.

Vincent was average in school. He wasn’t terribly bad but he wasn’t a child prodigy either. He had to study, things didn’t come easy to him, but he got good grades.

He HATED high school art. When he signed up, he thought we he’d be able to create whatever he wanted, but when he got into class and realized he had to follow assignment rules and didn’t get to have as much creative liberty as he would like, he dropped the class.

His favorite class would have to be English. I can see him liking the classics they had to read in class and would often go home and draw the scenes from the books. His favorites are To Kill a Mockingbird and Mice of Men. He cried while reading both of them.

I’m guessing Bo and him went to high school during the 80s/90s? But i think they both dressed somewhat similar, in that twin way that most parents dress their young children. Probably band t-shirts, pearl snap shirts (since they’re from a rural small town), and jeans. Vincent would have a turtle neck or sweater thrown in there somewhere though.

Vincent wanted to be an art teacher, so that kids wouldn’t have to get projects with little room to take creative liberty.

He drew comics for the school newspaper.

He took french. Just look at him. He DEFINITELY took french.

Also like Bo, he’s very awkward with girls. Not as much as Bo. He’s just shy and i think he doesn’t realize when someone hits on him.

Lester Sinclair

He’s no different than he was in the high school.

He was very much the class clown. Cracked jokes in class all the time and definitely planned the senior prank.

Unlike his older brothers, he had lots of friends. He had one or two super close friends but he got along with everyone.

No one was a stranger to him. He got along with people so well that when a new student came, he was asked to show them around.

He’s also very much like abi when it comes to school. He’s super smart but plays himself down to make people laugh.

HATED math class. Didn’t like the material, didn’t like the teacher, thought he was super creepy bc he flirted with all the female students.

Wore Vincent and Bo’s hand-me-downs.

He played soccer in school. I can see him play forward/striker. He’s super fast and very aggressive.

Unlike his brothers, he’s a ladies man. Always had a date to dances, always had a girl fawning over him. He’s funny and nice, true southern gentleman.

Favorite class was science. Loved learning about how things work, why things are the way they are.

If you looked in his senior yearbook, he’s on almost every page.

Wanted to be a park ranger. I don’t have to explain why, it fits him so well.

Went to parties all the time. He was the life of them too. He smoked pot a couple times too. Still does to this day just to relax.