#i also want him to stop killing troupe members because i am quite fond of some of them so. i am biased in that regard as well dsfjhk

[sea-of-ash]

Something something something etc the achingly horrifying imagery in ep 45 with Kurapika being pulled upward and absolutely entangled in his own chains gave me such visceral nausea.

It makes absolute sense what he's doing and why he's doing it, of course, but one of the things I've been figuring out while picking apart and putting together this au i'm working on for him and leorio, is that it is Impossible to separate Kurapika from his grief and anger. Understandably. What he went through and what he continues to go through is fucking terrible. But.

I just want him to be happy and enjoy the little things and appreciate his friends.. and the fact of the matter is that I don't think he knows How To unless forced into situations that demand it (exhibit a; the hunter exam, where he Has to befriend Gon, Killua, and Leorio)... which says a LOT about his priorities. He really is starving himself of happiness. So many people have told him to drop the vengeance, and I understand why he can't, but also!! He is destroying himself!! His friends and the narrative and literally everyone are trying to keep him from doing so but he simply can't imagine a world without his anger and ahhhghgh blergh

This is a long, needlessly complicated way to say I'm processing the fact that one of my favorite characters simply doesn't know how to be a human being, much less Live, and it kills me to watch how his friends care about him so much in comparison to how he treats himself. Been thinking about tombs a lot lately (probably because I'm rereading Harrow the Ninth, tbh), and Kurapika's dedication to killing off the members of the spider-- not necessarily stealing the eyes back, because that I can absolutely get behind-- but killing people... even if those people are terrible, it obviously isn't making him feel better, he dug a grave for Uvo... it feels like he's made himself into a tomb, and all he knows how to do anymore is preserve that grief and anger in order to keep himself going. Because as he said in those first few episodes, his greatest fear is that one day his anger will leave him. Because he doesn't know who he is anymore without it. Which is Horrifying, in the sense that the phantom troupe may not have been there to literally kill him alongside his clan, but I would argue emotionally and mentally... they've done the next best thing.

Anyway! Thinking about him makes me physically ill and I ought to go back to working on that au lol <3 peace

[beyondtheborderridiculous]

Why I love A3! and am content being stuck in actor hell

In this essay I will

No seriously. I really love this game and I have no otaku/weeb friends irl that would ever play this with me. And I just want to fangirl and have no other outlet than writing a massive post just spilling out my love for this game. Read at your own risk, lol.

For me, what makes me fall in love with a game, more than their game play, is their story. I play games for their stories because I am a story lover. I love stories so much, that I majored in literature, lol. So for me, I only really play games that are story-centric. But even though I’ve been playing video games for as long as I can remember, I suck at them. My coordination is always so bad, and I’m so bad at grinding, that sometimes, when a game is too hard, I stop playing halfway through and never end up finishing the story out of frustration. There’s a lot of games on my switch and other apps that I’ve played that are on hiatus due to this reason.

But A3! is really simple to play. Took a while for me to get the game mechanics of it, and I was a bit confused at first, but unlocking the next chapter is a pretty simple feat. (The fact that I downloaded this game during the period where all the main story acts were accessible also helped.) So I got to read all of Main Story 1 and I FELL IN LOVE.

I fall in love with stories if I fall in love with the characters. And as a story consumer I am so impressed by the amount of thought the game developers had for each and every character.

My first impression of how the story would unfold was that Sakuya would be the main focus of this game and that other than Masumi, the other characters would fall to the way side. Sakuya was your typical shounen hero character, the optimistic, untalented but hard working guy (the Naruto in the early arcs of that series). He’s not my favorite type, but I understand that he’s a necessary and in my first impression, the most important character of the story. Then there’s Masumi, the kuudere/tsundere talented bishounen who’s the rival (i.e. the Sasuke). The fact that he falls in love at first sight with the player (or Izumi) was a hilarious surprise, and he became an instant fave. I know that some don’t like his obsessive yandere tendencies, but I find them hilarious and am quite fond of them (but I would never condone it irl). Honestly, during Harugumi’s act, I honestly thought that the focus would solely be on them. But it wasn’t.

Tsuzuru got the chance to pursue his dream of becoming a playwright and he dwells into some regrets of not pursuing his dream earlier. (The fact that he straight up dies after each script is written cracks me up every time. Seeing it in the anime adaptation killed me.) Citron is the comic relief. He’s necessary to gel a team of strangers together. But during this act, his past and background is hinted and it doesn’t seem to be all sunshine and rainbows (To be honest, and spoilers for the EN server here, but before I read Main Story 2, I straight up thought that Citron came from a different planet, lololol). And then Itaru. Chigasaki Itaru my man, my all time fave. To be honest, when I first saw him I didn’t have a favorable impression. The prince-like bishounen is the type I dislike the most. But he’s an otaku? A closet gamer? But to be honest, even when that was revealed, I didn’t think much of it. I initially thought, ‘Oh, they made a gap mode character, cute.’ And again, I thought that he would be put into the backdrop. BUT THEN HE WANTED TO QUIT AND HARUGUMI PERFORMED A STREET ACT TO CONVINCE HIM TO STAY AND I DIED (Omg, Citron in the anime adaptation killed me). I thought that only Sakuya and Masumi would be the focus, but I was very very pleasantly surprised to find that all characters had their own major screen time (Maybe save for Citron. His was kind of the smallest, but that’s for a reason. At this point, I’m tempted to make a first impressions vs. current thoughts post of every single character. Would anyone be interested in me doing that?). 

By the end of Act 1, I fell in love with Harugumi. And to be honest, I was apprehensive of reading Act 2. I became so invested in Harugumi, and now I have to start a new journey with a new set of characters? I just wanted to read more about Harugumi and I was disappointed because I thought that I wouldn’t see those characters again. But again, I was pleasantly surprised to see that that wasn’t the case. Act 2 is Natsugumi’s story, but Harugumi characters were sprinkled here and there. And I thought that it was cute that Temna, a really prideful actor, looked up to Sakuya and asked him for advice. And then you have Sakuya saying that he didn’t really do anything as a leader, LOL. Save for sleeping on the stage together. And then Temna proceeds to follow this advice by going to Izumi and saying that after much research, the answer to a better team was sleeping together. LMAO TEMNA YOU IDIOT (I love you)! Natsugumi’s story was adorable, and I adored it.

Main Story 1 is the introduction and formation of every troupe. By Act 3, I was expecting it to become repetitive. What was impressive to me was that it wasn’t. Every single character is so vastly different from one another. They have their own personalities and fully fleshed out backstories. In Main Story 1 alone, that’s twenty characters. That’s highly impressive, especially like I mentioned beforehand with Act 1, everyone got their own screen time and character development. And for those that didn’t it’s because there’s a reveal/plot twist later down the line that’s at least hinted. You don’t always see that in t.v. shows/anime/manga with an ensemble cast (Voltron Legendary Defender, I’m staring at you. But that’s just one example, there’s others too). 

But the game developers didn’t stop there. For each of those twenty characters, the writers developed not only their personalities and backstories, but also their own personalized relationship dynamics with other members of the company.

Each troupe is very unique in their dynamics. I have a very hard time picking a favorite troupe because I am just so fond of them all. The relationships that the members have with each other in each troupe is so different, so special. I think the reason why I love anime/manga so much is because found family or nakamaship is usually a prevalent theme in them and I am a sucker for these. One of my favorite genres is slice-of-life just because I love reading relationships, whether they be platonic or romantic. And each troupe has these in spades.

BUT IT DOESN’T END THERE.

By Act 3, I thought that I figured out the pattern. Harugumi supported Natsugumi during Act 2, so in Act 3, Natsugumi would do the same for Akigumi. And then Harugumi will fall to the wayside. But I was pleasantly surprised again (do you see the pattern here?) to find that wasn’t the case. Fucking Itaru became the outside support/advice giver for Banri LOL. What made me fall in love with the game even harder, and what made me impressed with the game developers even more, was that not only did they write relationships within the troupe, but they also created and personalized intertroupe relations for ALL TWENTY CHARACTERS. Like how?! That’s so much work and so much to juggle with! As an avid story reader, that was just so crazy impressive to me. 

So that’s just me geeking about the narrative and character and relational development. Let’s talk about the gaming side of things, shall we?

I’m pretty familiar with app gatcha games as I’ve played my fair share of them. A3! strangely focuses more on the story aspect than the game aspect, which I am totally okay with. But what impressed me from the gaming perspective was how A3! handles events. Most gatcha games I’ve played, the event story line had nothing to do with the main story (SWD Obey Me and FE Heroes being prime examples here). Events were used as fanservice in order to get money from the consumers. And my first event was the Summer Beach Episode, so I initially thought that that was the same case for A3!. But it wasn’t.

When Main Story 1 ended, I was satisfied and at the same time I wasn’t. The story was good, and it ended well, but I wanted more. The game seemed to hint at more, so would I ever get more? And then I find out that all of the events (or most of them anyway) is the continuation of Main Story 1. That’s crazy!!! As a gamer, and as someone who has a family member that works in the gaming industry, I was crazy impressed because I haven’t seen this done before. I thought that that was immensely smart on the game developer’s part. Honestly, I know that not everyone plays the events in app games. But by making the events canon, and not au, gamers will be more inclined to play the event games. And I also know that it’s crazy easy to get bored of games, especially if the main story ended or the gameplay/story line isn’t that interesting. But the beauty of app games is that they could constantly be updated; their stories could continue to be added to. And with A3!, the event story line dwells deeper in these character’s backstories. Remember what I said about me initially thinking that the story will only revolve around protagonist and rival character? With each troupe play event, the lead and support actor constantly change. Everyone straight up gets their time to shine and their character development continues. Along with their relationships with others within the company. As someone who’s already invested in these characters, there’s no way that I would miss these events! I’m determined to play all of them! And that’s why I really think that the game developers came up with a smart strategy to get their gamers hooked. 

My biggest regret is that I downloaded this game recently, so I missed the prior events. PLEASE, LIBER AND CYBRID, I WOULD PAY MONEY TO HAVE ACCESS TO THE PREVIOUS EVENT STORIES. I don’t need the gatcha cards pertaining to these events, I just really really want to read the previous event story lines. I am forever grateful to yaycupcake that I was able to read what I missed (and the future events), but it’s not the same as experiencing it myself. 

What’s also smart, is that you have to read the event story lines, or else you won’t be able to completely understand Main Story 2. There’s aspects of things in the event that Main Story 2 will touch  upon. So as a consumer, you really do want to participate in all the events. 

Let’s talk about Main Story 2. I somehow discovered that in Main Story 2, each troupe is going to get an additional member (the BRBrookies). And I didn’t know how I felt about that. I liked the dynamic that each troupe has now. Wouldn’t an additional member ruin that? And could I really get myself to like these four new characters? The joke’s on me because I severely underestimated the game writers. You would’ve thought that I would have more faith in them since they impressed me so much. But I was a fool. Main Story 2 is great, and it didn’t seem like anything was pulled out of nowhere because it was all hinted at either in Main Story 1 or during the event stories. And each rookie is a perfect fit for their troupe and each troupes’ bonds continue to grow stronger and I cry every time. I can’t wait for it to come to the EN server. 

Now I’m a talk about the music.

For a while, I was aware that in the otaku/weeb community, that there was an idol craze. But I never understood it’s appeal. This game is starting to make me understand, lol.

I may not have understood the idol craze, but I do like vocaloid. When I first listened to vocaloid, I thought that it was weird that I was listening to a computer program sing. But what really attracted me was the stories told in the songs (again, story lover here). As an example, I’m going to talk about Evillious Chronicles. The Evillious Chronicles told a story in each song that was all a part of a story, and it was also my introduction to vocaloid. Storytelling through songs was just genius to me, and I fell in love with it. Granted, I know that it’s not new to vocaloid, and that not every vocaloid song is part of a series or tell a story, but it was what drew me in.

So vocaloid may seem like a tangent here, but to me, the A3! music was kind of like vocaloid. I accidentally stumbled on it when I was actually searching for someone doing a gameplay video of the Alex in Wonderland event. I couldn’t find any, but instead I discovered Alice in Wonderland Go Go. I gave it a listen, and fell in love with the melody. The music fit the theme of Alice in Wonderland so well. And then I listened to Susume Pirates next. It fucking slapped. These two songs became my gateway to A3! songs. 

I’m a go on a bit of a tangent here, but I’m a talk about the voice actors for a bit. As someone who’s also pursuing voice acting, I always appreciate when voice actors go the extra mile for their fans. Despite the vastly polar opinions of Voltron Legendary Defender, I adore the voice actors for their contribution to the fandom. Especially Josh Keaton (Shiro’s VA). So imagine my surprise, that I discover that not only is the Main Story completely voiced in A3! (which is very impressive and high production for a f2p app game), but the voice actors sing too in these songs too!

The A3ders sing the theme song. But each troupe has their own song, and each song is so vastly different from each other because these songs reflect the dynamics of their specific troupe, and I love that. But not only are there troupe songs, each character has their own song! And once you read the main story of each character, their song just becomes so much deeper! I give mad props to the song writers for tailoring each song to fit the character. I’m not going to lie, I bawled while reading the Manju Fist event, and then when I listened to Taichi’s character song afterwards? My mom thought that someone died since I was crying so hard. And did it end there? No! There’s a song that’s fucking tailored after every play! And they’re all bops!

The amount of times that A3! has impressed me is just way too much to count. It’s a fucking amazing game, story wise and music wise. And the love that the developers have for A3! is just so evident, and I love that. It definitely deserves its five star rating, and deserves an even bigger fandom here in the west.

So there, that about wraps up my massive essay on my love for A3!. If you read this far, I tip off my hat to you. If you also want to talk about A3! hit me up! I need someone to fangirl with, lololol.