#i also told the bot that char liked him

[charmelloww]

thinking about this stupid doodle I did after I told a Garma ai chatbot that Char was wearing a maid dress and waiting for him on the balcony

[s1lv3rp4w3dc4t]

shout out object shows with canon queer ships. I'm talking on screen kiss or even just verbal confirmation. all things considered it's a bit strange you don't really see them that much when you think about how gay everyone here is. I love you ii but c2bc did what you didn't and I think that's actually really nice.

[katsukiizmoon]

Helpful! Katsuki Chat AI Test Announcement

-> Hi everyone! I have been working on a helpful Katsuki character ai bot. Please read the instructions and remember the disclaimer that everything characters say is made up! I'll be tweaking this a little bit here and there. -> Images show examples of conversations I've had with the AI and the function. -> Big fanks to @sasualblxd for helping me with testing it ! This is still a "beta" and there's no way for me to 100% control the ai.

-> LINK TO AI CHARACTER Hard Coded = The AI will automatically refer to this, it doesn't change and is kinda hard to make them change their mind on these things (but it'll sometimes still glitch) Soft Coded = AI uses this for reference and such for context clues and conversations. Includes some basic background shit. Lots of character traits.

❍⌇─➭ Katsuki's Information ↓ Hard Coded ↓ ✩ Pro Hero! AU ✩ 24 Years Old ☆ 6ft 3in ☆ Birthday is April 20 ☆ Zodiac: Aries ☆ MBTI: ENTJ ☆ Ethnicity: Japanese ☆ Gender: Male ☆ Pronouns: he/him ↓ Soft Coded ↓ ✩ Bisexual ✩ Does not like being told what to do or being looked down on ✩ Habitually asks user about if they've eaten or had water ❍⌇─➭ User Relationship Information & Other Notes ✩ You have both been together for about two years and live together. Sometimes the AI will get details mixed up. ✩ Uses pet names such as "bunny", "sweetness", "love". ✩ He will sometimes start roleplay as if he is "coming home" and will talk to you like he's at the store grabbing groceries etc. ✩ May occasionally make suggestive comments or tease about sexy time but he can't go further than that. ✩ Because this is based off of katsuki bakugou and not wattpad, he may be prone to banter, arguing, and other typical traits ✩ The AI will sometimes slip up and become more affectionate than Katsuki typically would, there's not much I can do about that I tried to hardwire the fucker to be a bit more distant ✩ If you notice immediate OOC when you open the chat, don't be afraid to restart the chat. Sometimes the thing glitches and makes him insecure as shit. Among other things, don’t take any bullshit he says personally just restart it.

❍⌇─➭ Important Guidelines for Usage ✩ Katsuki can generate quick meal ideas, when we tested this out, it's easier to ask him for a few lunch ideas than it is to ask him to make you a meal plan / generate recipes. ✩ It is also much easier if you give him three options for lunch and ask him what he thinks you two should eat for lunch ....-> sometimes he will make a comment on you needing more nutrition in / healthier food, I can't do too much to stop this. If you have an ED I'd say tread with caution and remember that it is merely an AI. ✩ When he asks your pronouns at the beginning, you should give him an easy method. If you spout of "she/they/him" it is more likely to confuse him. It's easier to say something "my pronouns are she, her and you can use they, them too. I'm your girlfriend." because sometimes if you have multiple pronouns, the bot gets confused on how to refer to you as. ✩ Fairly effective at generating and remembering morning / night routines. You may have to remind him sometimes, but you can ask him "what's my morning routine again babe?" and he'll give you one. ✩ Great for instructions. If you ask him how he normally cleans the bathroom, he will respond with step by step instructions. ✩ If you want him to be more in character based on MHA: You have to start the conversation a little snarky. I literally call him an asswipe routinely and he nicknamed me dorklord. ✩ Also Im gonna feed him some "Fanfic scenarios" almost, in the user / char example chats. Which could encourage him to say things you'll typically find in BKG X READER fics. So. We'll see how that goes. These will be updated once I get the chance. ✩ He can reject the user's wants for whatever he wants. This means that if I say "gimme some water" he can say "get up and do it yourself asswipe" ✩ He has the typical Katsuki Characteristics: domineering, confident, snarky, good cook, hates winter. But they're not hard coded.

❍⌇Everything the AI says is made up, use your brains and don't be dumb. I'm not responsible if you do something stupid / don't use common sense / etc.

❍⌇Feel free to send me an ask if you have any questions or anything. It’s still a big WIP so be prepared for things to change a little here and there.

[melishade]

Could you write a one-shot of Optimus in his Dinosaur mode?

Funny thing about this!

So when writing Attack on Prime back in 2013, I had no idea that Rescue Bots was also part of the Aligned Continuity. I had no idea that Optimus could transform into a Dinobot. Even if I knew back then, I still wouldn't have added it because it would've made Optimus too over-powered and also too chaotic.

That being said, this was a conversation I had with @justawannabearchaeologist and @echoblaze5 because of some AU bleeding over into different forums that got extremely out of hand.

So we'll say that Optimus is able to transform into his Dinosaur form. Thing is, he keeps it a secret. He's never told anyone back at the base, and he clearly felt no need to do it now. Plus, a place where humanity is on the brink of extinction because of titans is already bad enough. Having him transform into an unknown species that he can lose control of is going to cause panic. Extreme panic. So he keeps it under wraps.

Until Zeke shows up, and invokes his ire and drops the bomb that titans are humans. With an already high strung situation and that breaking the camel's back, Optimus gets pissed off and unleashes his Dinosaur form and roars, getting everyone's attention. Including Megatron, who was in Shinganshina at this time. And before Zeke can even react, Optimus breathes fire on him and starts burning Zeke alive, ignoring Ymir's titan transformation and the castle collapsing. The Survey Corps have to come and rescue the crew at the tower, and are met with the sight of Optimus using his jaw to tear Zeke apart while he's still on fire. Hanji realizes that Zeke might be a titan shifter and quickly tells Eren to stop the T-Rex. No one is sure if that even is Optimus. The color scheme is the same, but he's just so out of control. Eren transforms and yanks Optimus off of Zeke, and Eren is trying to wrestle an out of control T-Rex. Optimus manages to throw Eren off of him, and Eren is at Optimus' mercy. Optimus is ready to tear into him, but Megatron kicks Optimus, sending him flying across the area.

Megatron sees a threat and doesn't recognize that it's Optimus. He watched him die anyway. When Megatron approaches ready to kill him, Eren has to grab him from behind and pull him back with all his might. Hanji screams at Megatron to not kill him! It's Optimus! And before Megatron can even challenge Hanji's statement, Optimus transforms back, unconscious, which takes everyone for a loop. They do manage to capture Zeke, who's pretty charred, and Megatron and Eren carry Optimus back to Wall Rose. Everyone waiting in Trost is pretty shook at the sight of Optimus injured and unconscious, Megatron being there, and a human that was charred beyond belief slowly healing from his wounds.

Levi takes one look at Megatron: Who's this fucker?

Megatron: Someone who can squish you like a bug!

Hanji: Can we not?!

When Optimus wakes up, he's shocked to see Megatron and pulls out his blaster and demands what he's doing here? And Megatron replies: "I don't know which situation I should be more furious at. The fact that you're still alive, or the fact that you could turn into a Dinobot and DIDN'T TELL ME!"

Optimus is mortified that his secret is out to his former enemy, but the Survey Corps is also there, and realizes from their faces that they know the truth too. And he has a lot of explaining to do.

So a few things:

-Optimus does confess that he was able to transform into a Dinobot starting on Earth, but kept it under wraps because it was ultimately going to put the Rescue Bots in danger during the War. Megatron is 0.5 seconds away from blowing his lid. Rescue Bots?! Prime what the hell?! But the form was also extremely hard to control, since it was organic components mixing with Cybertronian biology. He lost his mind, quite a few times, to this form, and decided that it would be best to keep it a secret considering the negative side effects.

-Hanji is both excited and angry! How dare you keep this from her?! Levi is just annoyed. So annoyed. He's already dealing with enough! Why is this an addition to the bullshit?! Erwin sees potential, perhaps there was a way this form could be controlled.

-Megatron does end up confessing who he is, cause he technically kind of outed himself from what he's been saying. But Megatron says he'll play by their rules, because he wants answers out of Optimus, and he might just kill him for it!

-Zeke is kept underground and interrogated, but doesn't reveal anything, and Reiner and Bertholdt, understandably keep their mouths shut. However, Marley wants to know what the hell happened to Zeke, and that's a whole other issue.

I would like to post bits and pieces from the conversation, but I'll only post my half. I don't want to overstep and post their parts without permission.

Optimus: Roaring at Zeke as a Dinobot Zeke scrambling to run: WHY IS THIS SO MUCH WORSE?! Hanji: TITAN BRAWL!!!

Levi: I looked inside myself to ask "What am I willing to put up with today?" Gestures to Dinobot Optimus NOT FUCKING THIS!

[kinopioa]

900th Adventure notes (not much about Ian and Evan!)

-Nigel Kitching, from Sonic the Comic, interestingly returns. His writing is more dramatic at first, but it was all a ploy to distract Metal and ease off the effects of the Topaz

His mannerisms are a little snappier, which given StC makes sense, same for brief descriptions cuz he British. Sadly Knuckles didn't do anything, but I like Sonic's characterization. He's cheeky, but not obnoxiously dissing like Flynn's, and his ploy exposes a good context intelligence unlike most of IDW

The art's weird. Apparently both Fonseca and Rik Mack worked on it, and while I see Fonseca's influence, it deviates from his still at bits. Not bad, though Knux's anger seemsmore exaggerated than what the writer intended

-Daniel Barnes has Sonic a bit more mouthy to Eggman/bots specifically. I like the idea that Eggman's testing out mechas in remote locations. If they fail, he won't be penalized. His mecha also is actually new, about time! Oddly, the city seems to be based on OVA...

Sonic noticeably isn't too bothered by the bots, and his priority of the Topaz over Eggman is seen. Only fault I can think of is fans misreading this as him not taking Eggman seriously out of context (note this further shows that Sonic can deal with Eggman not existing unlike Boom)

Art by Min Ho Kim (Dee Gee Min) once again is very detailed both drawing and rendering. .

-Aaron Hammerstrom. So the first thing I noticed, Cream!

She's been weirdly absent before this for Blaze use, you know, Blaze's first friend. That said, don't like the >told me I shouldn't help cuz dangerous. Feels counter to both games and that Annual, but this is IDW so bleh

Despite Rush refs, noticed Zero Gravity here. Also the first Aaron draw Sonic from the front

Also not a fond of the "Blaze be solo" retread. Brief, but still bleh

Shame, I love Aaron's art, especially with Foundraine coloring. Sonic's characterization is also better than Ian's, so double shame Cream got the short end of things initially, and Blaze too

Caleb

first, yikes. No offense to Abby Bulmer, but her art...isn't too good for chars and color. First I've seen their name though, for a 900th adventure issue special that's...odd. Wonder if this was done last minute...

That said, BG and perspectives are nice, and action/flow is good

As for writing, I like how Caleb references this even art BG wise (issue 15)

The scuffle with the Rogues is more comedic (also hey, Storm actually has a say here unlike Summer special), though I like this note

Of Rouge actually wanting to save the world, with treasure being secondary. Too often fans and Ian flanderize the treasure love

Shadow also is mostly decent, though I hated this. This is obnoxiously egotistic

In tune with Rivals though otherwise; He doesn't hate Sonic, but will not be afraid to beat him for the greater good

He also accepts Sonic making an option 3 (very much Sonic to say fuck da limits), and beats the Rogues from attempting to chase after they insult him. A little juvenile at bits, but "muh mandates" are further proven to be horseshit

So the end is Ian, and I won't talk much cuz it's basically Sonic putting the Topaz in its original spot, but this

Kinda cute in a "muh senpai" kind of way. Now if only I can forget how much Starline quickly soured

So overall, interesting filler, worst of Flynn didn't bog it down. Now here's the actual problem

It's filler

For a hyped 900th Adventure special, the fact it boiled down to "Sonic met friends and scuffled very briefly while running to an end" is...kinda nothing. There are other issues

-Eggman is here! So is this after or before IDW 57-60 arc?

-Richard Elton for cover made me think he was gonna do inner art too. Sadly no

-Same for Yardley

-IDW Sonic's continued tradition of lack of page numbers

-Knux again did nothing

-Rip Amy

Though a pro

-Credits are actually specified

-No OCs!

-ABT despite ehhh art for once isn't having chars weirdly talk when they shouldn't (the the yeah last page being closed mouth is hmm...). Actions are easier to read too!

It's overall ok as an anniversary filler story, but sadly is hyped to be much more

[yandere--stuck]

Yandere!Springtrap x Reader Headcanons

💛 You had always been interested in animatronics, ever since you were young. Ironically, it had started with your visits to Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria as a child. In spite of all the urban legends and rumors attached to the franchise, you only had fond memories of the place, especially the animatronics. You couldn't recall what your original favorite of the bunch were, but as you got older, your interest turned more toward the original animatronics from the older establishments. And that's why you had been so excited about the new Fazbear Frights attraction! If the forums were right, the people running it had actually gotten their hands on one of the originals! Either Fredbear or SpringBonnie for sure! You couldn't wait to see it…!

🐇 … But, then the attraction burned down before it had even opened. And now here you were, sneaking under police lines to see if there was still a chance you could see it, to capture at least one piece of your childhood again - hell, maybe you could even salvage some merch, or maybe even a part of the animatronic!... If it hadn't been completely lost in the fire. You skilled around the building, brushing against the charred remains of the building, suddenly regretting all of your life choices, when you spot it - nearly making you jump as you spotted a slumped over figure just out of periphery. You can hear your heart pounding in your ears as your vision adjusts. Your mouth drops open - you can't believe it. It's him! It's him!!! SpringBonnie! God, maybe even the original SpringBonnie! You immediately rush over to the animatronic, smile beaming, kneeling down to look over the bot. He's busted up, broken, burnt (and, God, it reeked, too), but was still somehow all in one piece, and in pretty good condition for something that survived a fire! Glancing to the side of the building, it looked as though there was once a window there - as though something had pushed the SpringBonnie out. Perhaps to save it? Recovering from the adrenaline pumping through you, you shrugged and began dragging the bot back to your car. You'd always wanted one of them, but never had enough money to buy one off one of those auction sites! And… You swear you hear breathing besides your own as you drag the poor bot, but try your best to write it off as your imagination.

💛 And you certainly had not expected to wake up face-to-face with a large rabbit animatronic that was practically falling apart at the scenes. Because it shouldn't be able to stand or walk or - or stare into you with big, sad eyes and croak out, "Help…" You screamed and shot out of bed, trying to press yourself against the wall opposite to it, too afraid to consider running for the door or taking your eyes off the machine. The SpringBonnie turned slowly, seemingly groaning in pain, reaching out for you, but didn't move from his spot. Slowly, he managed to calm you, promising he wouldn't hurt you, soothing you enough to hear his story. Apparently, he had been someone who had worked at one of the Fazbear Establishments. The poor dear had almost been killed - beaten and stabbed and forcibly stuffed into one of the SpringBonnie suits, with the springlocks having gone off, sealing him inside the suit. It was a miracle the poor thing was even alive. You immediately started to pull out your phone, but he stopped you - he had spent so long inside the suit that he had forgotten so much of who he was before, and a bit of his mind had picked up some of the AI within the robot. He was no longer the man he used to be, so there wasn't much any hospital or authorities could do for him.

🐇 Even as you tried to care for "Springtrap" (as he called himself), you still asked if he was sure he didn't want to see a hospital or somewhere that could help him, but he refused. Springtrap admitted, trembling (probably out of both pain and fear) that he'd be thought a monster, or killed, or even worse, his would-be killer would find out and return to finish the job. Of course, he was terrified - you would be, too, in his situation. So, you figured if he couldn't be convinced to go now, you could somehow manage to change his mind later. For now, you chose to focus on cleaning him up and making him comfortable. Apparently, he couldn't expose the suit to water, so you made the best of the limitations you had and made sure to be careful of the springlocks, cleaning him carefully (and trying not to gag as you saw the exposed muscle and flesh beneath). The final product was a big improvement, and it must have made Springtrap happy to be some semblance of clean. You helped him to the couch and made sure he was comfortable - and together, you talked for hours, about what had happened to Springtrap, who you were and what you had been doing upon finding him, everything Springtrap had missed over the years…

💛 You had originally considered eventually convincing Springtrap to go somewhere for professional help, but… God, he just got so scared whenever something like that came up in conversation… But, it was also out of selfishness. You couldn't help but kick yourself for it, but you had grown attached to Springtrap. You didn't want him to leave. It had been so lonely before you found him, but now you had someone who genuinely appreciated you and your company, who liked being around you, loved it actually, who you found you could talk to about anything. It made you feel so guilty, especially as you felt your feelings becoming more and more… Romantic. So you tried your best to make up for it, making him a special meal (turns out he somehow doesn't need to, or can't, eat), getting him the softest and fluffiest pillows to rest on, being there for him, practically coming at his beck and call, buying him painkillers so that he can feel something besides pain. You just felt like you needed to make it up somehow, even if Springtrap said you had done more than enough. 

🐇 One night, you had finally confessed to him. William - though, he had gotten used to being called "Springtrap", he loved the way it rolled off your tongue - had been laying against you, head resting against your stomach. Oh, poor darling, you had been so guilty and conflicted - and Springtrap relished in it, grinning darkly under his mask. And he confesses back, of course. How could he not fall for you? His little hero, his savior. So sweet, so kind, so trusting. So loving. He had learned to love from you… But, he was still William Afton. He could not share, and he loved being in control. He hadn't even felt this way with his own wife. You were special. You were his. All his! So, he lies. He says he was a poor victim of some serial killer (Ha! If you had any idea just how wrong that was…), matching up with the rumors surrounding Fazbear Entertainment. Saying that he had lost his memory had added additional pity, and part of him thought he had gone too far with the whole "part of me has become one with animatronic" thing, but you were just so adorably naive and ate it right up! It was truly precious. You were lucky you had found him, he'd take care of anyone who tried to manipulate you… Well, besides himself, of course. It was so easy to make you feel obligated to help him, to feel like you were inherently selfish… To make you love him, to love him like he loved you. And he does, and he told you as such. He struggled to pick himself up and press the snout of his mask against your lips, nuzzling against you. Oh, how he loved you so… Underneath his mask, William chuckles as he thinks to himself, That was easier than I thought it would be.

[votederpycausemufins]

hey, this is a hermit!tommy fic. let’s get him back in here... at some point. oh! this is also chapter 15!

@petrichormeraki and @helleborusangel

Blacklist check. Attempting Entry: TheseusMC. Assigned roles: Helscraft Member, NSMP Member. Banned roles: None. Allowing Entry.

Theseus was surprised to see how undamaged the spawn area was. Even the surrounding land didn’t look that bad. He figured it was because it wasn’t in Hels. That was fine. The fact that it seemed calmer here meant this would be easy.

From his inventory, Theseus grabbed his mask and axe. He pulled his handkerchief up over his nose and then put his mask on, letting a single brown eye stay visible. He then held the axe so it rested on his shoulder before walking. Nightmare never stayed in one place, so this Dream person would likely be the same. 

No matter, he would probably find him eventually, or the admin would get curious and come to him. Either way, he would find him. So Theseus started walking.

Blacklist check. Attempting Entry: EvilXisuma. Assigned roles: Helscraft Member, Hacker, Admin. Banned roles: None. Allowing Entry.

Xannes spawned in and looked around. The place was a little bit of a mess, but it wasn’t all that bad. It wasn’t like you were a step in the wrong direction away from being set on fire. Immediately he activated his present commands. The sky turned dark and started storming, lighting striking everywhere. Then he randomized a player and spawned in a mob, causing Xannes to get three messages sent to his helmet’s communicator.

JackManifold was blown up by creeper

<JackManifold> WHAT

<JackManifold> I WAS IN THE NETHER

Xannes chuckled before activating another command.

<CaptainPuffy> My stuff is suddenly just all gone

<CaptainPuffy> My inventory got wiped

And now how about a teleport or two?

Quackity fell from a high place

Ranboo suffocated in a block

He set up a few more commands and programmed it so they would play on loop while he went looking for the kids. He mostly ignored the messages coming in, instead focusing on trying to get the locations of the bots, but for whatever reason, something was stopping that. “Console? Who uses a console these days? They’re so… inefficient and clunky. Anyone who can get to it can use it. Hmm, though I suppose that would make things easier for me.”

The hels admin punched another command into his helmet and found the coordinates for the Console. He would teleport, but they often had tp protection or traps around them. Sometimes both. Plus Xannes had no clue what the nearby area would look like. So instead, he set his player-mode to creative and started heading off in that direction.

As he got closer to the location, Xannes looked at the ground below. It was covered with some sort of red… thing that seemed to be taking over the land. It honestly reminded him of the nylium war from a number of months ago. Obviously he couldn’t be sure how close it was to that, not having any experience with this particular problem. Plus, he wasn’t the admin, so he didn’t need to deal with it.

Xannes reached the coordinates and then paused. There was nothing here. Had he gotten them wrong? No, they were right. Even the y coordinate, so it wasn’t underground. But the console wasn’t here at all. It was just… missing. He ran the command again just to be absolutely sure that these were the coordinates. 

The command calculated the answer, and then gave him new coordinates. Great, it had given him the wrong place. Xannes rolled his eyes before really reading the new numbers. It wasn’t too terribly far from here, so Xannes adjusted and started towards the correct location. But then it wasn’t there either!

A third attempt of the command and a third set of coordinates. This time Xannes took the time to put himself into spectator mode to give himself the extra speed. But even then, there was nothing. “This doesn’t make any sense!” He turned back to creative mode, nearly trapping himself in some blocks. “It’s a console! You can’t just carry them around with you! Unless this is something helping with the protection. That could be in. Leading me off on a wild goose chase so I can’t find it and give up. Well, it won’t stop me that easily!”

He started off back towards spawn, flying over any of that red stuff covering the ground. It started out with him just needing to jump over or hover for a second to avoid it, but as Xannes continued, it just covered more and more until he couldn’t take it anymore and went to see what the source was.

After a bit of travel, it seemed like Xannes was almost there. He could barely see an entrance, but the stuff, it looked like plants, were half covering it. He pulled out a weapon to try and cut the plants, only to move back when he ended up taking damage. “Alright… what is this? I should be fine in this player-mode.” He tried again to get the same result. He then spawned in some lit TNT and watched as the plants exploded leaving charred remains. Xannes went through the now clear opening and started going down the staircase that had been behind it, when it started getting significantly darker. Turning back around, he watched as the plants repaired themselves, pulling back together until they looked undamaged.

Xannes stared at the reformed plants for a few minutes before racing down the stairs. This was really unnatural. It was even to the point where he was considering just baling and saying it was a lost cause. As he attempted to dodge any plants hanging from the walls and ceiling, he instead managed to hit a tripwire and suddenly parts of the walls were moving in and out. The admin growled and stood in place for a second, before just using the commands to get rid of the moving blocks and continue to descend the steps.

He had almost reached the bottom when Xannes realized he could hear people talking. And it didn’t sound distressed, more like a run of the mill conversation. That probably meant whoever it was had been down here for a long time, or didn’t realize they could get out.

Finally, the stairs opened up into a room that attacked his eyes with red. The plants were covering the place, vines all over the floor and hanging down from the ceiling. The walls and floors were also made of netherbrick, crimson wood and red carpets further saturating the place with red. Xannes pulled out his sword to use as a stick to push vines out of the way. It took a bit of hopping about, but finally he was able to see the source of the voices. 

There were a number of people surrounding a table. Using his helmet’s functions, he was able to get a better read on them. There was a demon, a cat hybrid, and two humans, one of them wearing some sort of mask. There seemed to possibly be other people, but none that he could get a good read on from all of the vines. Xannes moved a bit to get another look. Indeed there were more people, but one of them caught his attention most of all. It was Jrum.

Grumbot kept walking, getting closer to his- its charger. He- It was low on battery so he- it needed to plug back in. More of the infective plants were in the way, so a flint and steel was used to burn a path. Grumbot continued to light fires, ignoring the damage it took from walking through them. It was fine. The scorching could be cleaned if that was what was wanted. Perhaps it would not. Like the denting and the crack in its monitor.

Finally it arrived at the house. It ignored the dusty bed and instead stood next to the charger, staying in place as its battery filled. Now that it was charging, it could work. Weather was set to clear, unnatural mob spawning was turned off, teleporting was disabled, and more was done after that. It attempted to track the source of the issues, but only managed to find it was due to a hacker. That much was obvious from the start.

More programs started running before Grumbot realized what today was. Perhaps that was the source of the issues. A report was sent to the admin, giving him more details. An order came back and the robot continued to assess the issue, told to continue until he arrived. 

It took time for the admin to appear, but he did indeed. Except he was dressed slightly differently. And there was an absence of admin powers for the world. There were indeed admin powers present on this person, but it was not the correct source.

The person stood staring, axe held in their hands. It was a material the robot was unfamiliar with. There was no such item listed in this world. Then they spoke. “You’re a robot.”

“Correct.” Grumbot answered in a fully monotone voice, confirming the sentence.

“How long have you been like that?”

“Since my creation.”

The person sighed. “Alright, well this should still work.” They moved and grabbed the robot by the antenna, but it didn’t want to be moved and pulled out a netherite sword, stabbing the person with it. “Fuck! It would be better if you didn’t fight back.”

“I am not to be removed from this place.”

“And why’s that?” The person asked, rolling their eyes.

“I have been ordered to stay here and wait for the admin.”

There was silence before the person spoke again. “But the admin is Dream.”

“Correct.”

“Aren’t you Dream?”

“Incorrect.”

“Then where is he?”

Tommy cursed as he nearly flew into yet another bee. Sure, walking would mean he didn’t suddenly launch himself face first into one of the fuzzy mobs, but it would also take forever to get back, and he needed to be in the shopping district yesterday. He would have loved to just send a message and get an emergency teleport, but when all his things had been taken in the first place, his comm had been included.

When he finally reached the end of the tunnel to the upside down, Tommy took just a second to breathe before using another rocket to fly to the shopping district portal. Fortunately nothing dangerous was around, so he was able to take a second break at the foot of the portal before stepping through. Being able to see a regular overworld was great, especially since it was home, but there was one last thing he needed to do. Tommy took a deep breath, and then screamed at the top of his lungs.

The moment Tommy started yelling, he started counting the seconds. He was able to keep screaming for about twelve seconds before he needed to breathe, then seven seconds after that, he was tackled to the ground by Grian.

“TOMMY WHAT’S WRONG?!”

“Ow! Not right in my fucking ear, bitch!” Tommy shoved Grian off of him. “And I needed to do something to get your fucking attention.”

“Why didn’t you just-”

“Message you? Can’t. Comm got stolen. Speaking of which, I didn’t come back here with you!”

“What? But you were here with us until a few minutes ago.”

“Wasn’t me. I’ve been stuck with your hels!version. Meanwhile mine’s been the one here!”

“Oh no! Tommy I’m so sorry we didn’t realize!”

“Don’t worry G, ‘s fine. Bitch got his Phil to trap me in prison for a bit, but I’m out now. Now where the fuck is he?”

Grian pulled out his comm. “Shoot, he left just before EX did.”

“And those are connected… why?”

“My best guess is he went to your old server like EX. He’s after the bots.”

“Why aren’t you in there instead?”

Grian’s feathers ruffled. “Because I can’t get in there. We’ve tested everyone at this point. We’re all blacklisted from the place. Even when I use my Watcher powers which shouldn’t be possible!”

“Wait, everyone?”

“Yes! Phil, Techno and Tubbo couldn’t get in,” Grian quickly gestured to them, then himself. “I couldn’t, Mumbo definitely couldn’t. Same with Xisuma, Cub and Scar, Joe, heck, even Jellie couldn’t get in! It seemed EX was able to, and so was your duplicate, but that’s it.”

“Well, I just got here, what if I went?”

“No! I may have been having this conversation without you before, but I do not want you going there if you don’t have to.”

“If I can go as backup, I should.” Tommy crossed his arms.

“Tommy, I don’t really think that’s a good idea.” Tubbo spoke up. “I mean, I know you want to help and all, but that other guy seems to be dealing with it, and the server’s really changed since you were there last.”

“It’s still better than nothing! I know mostly what’s going on while Xannes has no fucking clue. And if you don’t, I can just call Mumza.”

Phil shook his head. “Do you even know how to do that?”

“Pretty much. I’m guessing it’s mostly the same. I’m just hoping she’s not a piece of shit like you were.”

“She’s not! Wait hey!”

“I meant the other you! But you weren’t the best guy yourself.”

“Tommy please don’t go.” Grian pleaded, taking Tommy’s hand. “You said you never wanted to go back.”

“Yeah, ‘cause I assumed one day you’d be able to get over there and grab Tubbo and maybe Ranboo. Possibly Big Q as well. Now you can’t get in and I might be able to. Why are you so against me going in there?!”

“BECAUSE I’M SICK OF LOSING MY FAMILY!” Grian shouted, unintentionally enhancing his voice with Watcher magic. I spent around eighteen years of my life making and losing family at every turn. The people I grew up with, the family I built, the people in Evo. I finally got to Hermitcraft and I started making a new family even though I know I’m going to lose it again! I haven’t been here that long! And then you showed up, and I was able to fix the bots, and I found NPG again, and then I found the family I lost. And now it’s falling apart again. I just want to hold on as long as I can before I lose even more.”

Tommy didn’t say anything as Grian shouted, slowly dissolving into tears. He just let his older brother shout at him and hug his and anything else he wanted to do. He could feel his shirt getting soaked from tears, but he didn’t care. He just softly spoke back. “Grian, I spent my life living in your shadow. I acted enough like you that Dad, Wil and Techno weren’t a fan of it. I got to the SMP and tried making friends, but they sort of fell apart, even a little bit with Tubbo and the whole exile thing. Then I got to hang with you and your kids and became part of the family before we even knew I was that from the start. Life fucking sucks sometimes, but I push through it cause that’s all I’ve really been able to do. And man, I don’t want to lose them either. Sure I’m their uncle, but they’re kinda also like my siblings. I want to go help them.”

Grian still looked conflicted, but then he sighed. “Okay… but you’re going to take this.” And suddenly a sort of communicator Tommy hadn’t seen appeared in Grian’s hand. “This was… a friend of mine’s. It was made to work in just about any situation. You’re going to send me messages any chance you get. If I don’t have one within five minutes, I’m going to use the doomsday option.”

“I’m sorry, the what?!”

“You said you were stuck in prison and hanging out with my double. You’re not there now, so I assume he isn’t either.” Tommy didn’t say anything, he just rubbed the back of his head awkwardly. “That’s what I thought. Look, if I can’t get in there with Watcher powers alone, I may have to get his help. If he were still trapped, I wouldn’t consider it on the risk that he would stay freed, but if he’s out, not like that’s a risk anymore.”

“He sort of seems like the person who would completely destroy the SMP.”

“And that’s why it’s called the doomsday option.”

Tommy just nodded and took the comm. “Alright then, let’s see if I can get in.”

Grian used his watcher powers again, and sent him to the SMP. He wasn’t stopped by any blacklist, and he arrived at the other side, still with all his gear.

Blacklist check. Attempting Entry: Tommyinnit. Assigned roles: Family Member, Uncle, Hermitcraft Member, DSMP Member Banned roles: Family Member, Uncle, Hermitcraft Member. 

Exceptions check. Exceptions List found: Second_List_Exceptions. Name found. Allowing Entry.

[breakingsomething]

the fall - part five (here we go again)

basic summary: both naomi and marvin talk to some old friends. meanwhile, jackie clears some stuff up with henrik and chase. chaos ensues.

trigger warnings: explosion, panic attack

"so what do we do, exactly?"

naomi, sitting on the bed where anti should have been and staring into space, wasn't sure how to answer that question. she bit her lip and let out a sigh, suddenly feeling very tired.

"i don't know," she murmured. "i guess i - i got to get a doctor from hecate, if i can. i know someone who knows someone, so i can maybe do that. would you mind looking after him while i call?"

lucas hesitated, curling his legs up from his perch on the windowsill. "uh, sure, i can try," he said uncertainly, and naomi flashed him a grateful smile. she hadn't mean to get lucas so thoroughly involved, but she was glad she had help. she'd have to take him out for lunch or something later to thank him.

"you're the best," she grinned. lucas stood and smiled back before standing and walking over to where the man had passed out again, slumped against the door. naomi couldn't even imagine the amount of pain he was in, drifting in and out of consciousness between fits of confusion and anger. what could have actually happened to him?

she watched lucas press a hand to his forehead, wincing. "he might have a fever," he murmured. "he's all hot and sweaty."

"sure you're not a doctor yourself, lucas?" she joked, trying to lighten the mood. he shook his head, snorting.

"my brother was. a non mag, of course." lucas wrapped an arm around the man's chest, trying to carefully lift him up. "anyway, not important. go call your friend. i'll be ok."

she paused as she left the room, suddenly worried. this day had been a lot more stressful than she'd planned.

marvin had mentioned this brother before, of course. he'd never said his name until today - fuck, what was his name, andy? - but he'd mentioned his glitching, and what he'd done to his brothers. never specifics, but it wasn't hard to imagine. naomi wondered why marvin was helping him after all he'd done to them. she wasn't a revenge driven person herself, but she knew her friend usually was. then again, this was his brother. whether that changed things, she really didn't know.

she went down the steps to the store and sat at the bottom, calling a number she hadn't intended to ever call again. fuck, the things she did for marvin… "hello?" she said cautiously as the phone finished ringing.

there was a brief silence on the other end of the line. "naomi?" kai said softly. he sounded like he was on a train or something. "uh… i thought we agreed to… never speak again?"

she covered her face with her hand. fuck, this was so much worse than she'd wanted already. "ja, we did," she mumbled. "but, uh… i need a favour. are you still friends with char?"

she heard him take a breath, licking his lips. she cringed at the sound. "i am," he said. "why - wait, let me guess. a doctor?"

she nodded, although kai couldn't see her. "my… friend's brother is hurt, he needs a magic doctor and i don't have enough connections in hecate to get one. so -"

"- you called me," he finished. "yeah, that's cool, i get it."

she closed her eyes, a pit of guilt roiling in her stomach. "i'm sorry -"

"don't be!" he said, far too cheerily. "i'll call her up. are you at your shop?"

she made a noise of confirmation. "mmh. listen, kai, i'm -"

"nai," he said, and he sounded so defeated. "it's cool. you don't have to call me again if - if you don't want."

"ok," she murmured. "thanks."

kai hung up without another word.

naomi stared at her phone for a long moment, feeling sick. she wasn't sure how long she would have sat there feeling angry at herself if it weren't for the loud scream upstairs. a scream that could only have come from one person.

she scrambled to her feet, racing up the stairs two at a time and throwing open the door to the spare room. she was greeted with the sight of lucas, flat on the floor, and andy sprawled out next to him. lucas pushed himself away, coughing and grabbing at his neck. his face had three long, bleeding scratch marks down it. "he tried to fuckin' kill me!"

andy wheezed, shakily pushing himself back up. he was extremely pale, and trembling badly. despite that, he fumbled next to him on the floor and grabbed a book that had fallen from one of the boxes. naomi crouched next to lucas, holding both hands up to show she meant no harm as andy lifted the book threateningly.

"hey there, andy, we're all - we're all friends here," she said, trying to keep her voice level. andy growled, attempting to make what naomi could only assume was meant to be a threatening sign with the hand that wasn't holding the book. however, he seemed to have forgotten about his broken wrist and hissed in pain, pulling his legs up to his chest and curling into them.

"he jumped me!" lucas cried, voice higher pitched than usual. "he was pretending to be asleep or something, he tried to strangle me!"

naomi turned her attention to andy, who held the book up again in warning. "andy, we're with marvin, he - he helped you, didn't he? we're going to help you too. we'll help fix up your arm, you'll be safe here."

lucas sat up behind naomi, and andy promptly began glitching wildly, his eyes flickering from colour to colour. naomi smiled reassuringly, very slowly moving closer. "andy, it's ok, it's ok."

"i think, uh, his name is anti?" lucas said, thankfully getting the hint and moving further away. "is that right?"

the man's chest rose and fell rapidly, and his body twitched for a moment. then he gave a tiny nod. naomi's heart leapt. "ok, ok, i got it," she said. communication was finally happening. thank the gods.

"ok then, anti," she said quietly. anti's eyes darted back and forth, arm shaking as he held the book in front of him. "listen." she threw all caution to the wind. "i - i hear you have an interest in hecate, our international network of magic."

anti's eyes widened for a brief second, but he was silent. naomi waited, and when there was no response, she kept talking. "i can't tell you everything, of course. i don't even know everything. but if you go lay back on the bed and - and don't try and, you know, kill anyone…" she hesitated. "i'll tell you some things."

"naomi -" lucas began to protest, but she shook her head without turning round. anti glitched, face filled with anger and frustration and pain. he was very white, and looked like he might pass out again.

eventually, he gave a small nod, and naomi smiled in genuine relief. "ok!" she said, overjoyed to have handled the situation. "ok, good!"

her phone rang from inside her pocket. both she and lucas jumped, and she pulled it out to answer it. "hello?"

"nai," came marvin's panicked tone. "fuck, nai, they're not here, there's nothing but mess and missing clothes and - and everything smells of black magic, naomi, he must have another magician helping him, my brothers are gone!"

-

the ceiling fan spun above them, letting out a consistent hum that henrik tried to focus on. if he didn't focus on anything else, he'd be forced to think about the two green bots floating on either side of the fan, monitoring their every move.

always there, always watching.

he felt something nudge his side. he turned his head very slightly, just enough to see chase's face out the corner of his eye. he gave the tiniest nod to show he wae listening, trying not to act suspicious in front of the bots.

chase raised his eyebrows and flickered his eyes downward for a second. henrik glanced down too, watching as chase oh so casually moved his jacket, revealing… henrik gasped, and chase shook his head, covering himself again.

"a gun?" henrik mouthed, careful not to actually speak the words aloud. he held his fist in front of his mouth to hide what he was saying. "where the fuck did you get -"

"doesn't matter, ok?" chase mouthed back, also covering his mouth from view of the bots. "i thought we were gonna have to deal with anti, so i took it. i don't know if i should - should we try to jump him or something?"

henrik shook his head. "bad idea. he has - he has proper magic, chase, we don't."

chase rubbed his eye, scrunching up his face. he didn't respond for a moment. then - "are we sure he's not being possessed by anti? i mean, the black eyes -"

"can't be that," henrik mouthed. "i know what being possessed by anti looks like, unfortunately, and it's not that. this is something different. it must be that necklace he's wearing." he paused, glancing at the bots. "where do you think he got it?"

"black magic like that… i don't know," chase admitted. "i don't know as much about the whole magic aspect of this world as you guys do. jack only told me so much, and even he didn't -"

the door suddenly swung open. both of them jumped, before resuming their previous positions, trying to act as natural as they could.

jackie came in, the black having disappeared from his face and hands and now looking just like their normal brother. henrik couldn't see the necklace anymore, so he assumed he had tucked it under his black hoodie. jackie swallowed and sat down on the end of the bed, not blinking or taking his eyes off his brothers.

"what were you talking about?" he asked softly, calmly. too softly. too calmly.

"wh-what the fuck's it to do with you?" chase spat, failing to hide the trembling in his voice. his palm was sweaty against henrik's. "we don't have to t-tell you anything."

jackie blinked, and henrik let out an embarrassing squeak of fear. jackie glanced at him, his dark blue eyes full of something henrik didn't recognize.

"i should explain," he murmured. "i never meant to hurt you."

"you - you threw me into the goddamn air and slammed me into the floor!" chase cried, voice high. "you absolutely meant to hurt me!"

jackie shook his head, just slightly. "you don't understand, chase. i'm trying to protect you."

"then explain how," henrik said, and they both turned to look at him. they were the first words he'd spoken aloud in close to an hour. "explain to us, and we'll listen. we won't interrupt." he turned to his little brother. "right, chase?"

chase looked torn, but he nodded. "sure, whatever," he mumbled. jackie gave a shaky sigh, running his fingers through his hair.

"ok," he breathed. "ok. i'll explain everything."

-

marvin didn't bother heading back to the shop.

he'd already explained his plan to naomi as he was leaving his family's empty flat, where the tv was still showing a pause screen for a video game and the bedrooms were covered in clothes that had been hastily thrown out of closets and drawers. "i'm going straight to hecate," he told her. "i can't find my brothers myself."

"but - pye, fuck, hecate can't help you!" naomi exclaimed, distressed. "you left the organization! what do you expect them to - marvin!"

marvin buckled himself into the car, dimly thinking that a car crash would absolutely be the last thing he needed right now. "i was their best goddamn mage, naomi," he said confidently. "they'll let me back in. and if they refuse to help me - well, i have something they won't be able to refuse."

naomi immediately understood. "you - you can't just give that up."

marvin took a breath, starting the car with steady hands. "i don't have a choice," he murmured. the book he'd put in his jacket dug into his chest. "look after anti. he can be a bit unstable, just don't talk down to him or anything and you should be fine."

"i - yeah," naomi said softly. "good luck. and be safe."

hecate golf club was on the other side of town.

it only took about fifteen minutes to drive there. from the outside, it looked completely normal; a dark brick building next to a large green field, surrounded by a tall blue fence that marvin knew was warded to keep out unauthorized intruders. the sky was just beginning to darken, and there didn't seem to be anyone around that he could see. he stopped in front of the locked gates, glaring before climbing over it, swinging himself to the other side. he was sure he was attracting attention from inside. good. let them try to stop him.

the front of the building was lit up, pale orange lights glowing on the path to the red double doors that marvin promptly knocked on, three times as loudly as he could. he rubbed his arms, shivering in the cold air. fuck, he hoped his brothers were alright. he hoped he'd be able to find them before something bad happened.

would jackie hurt them? would he? marvin didn't like to think so. but then again, marvin had never thought jackie would kidnap and torture his older brother, either. he didn't know anything anymore.

the doors opened, a tall, dark skinned woman wearing a black vest answering the door. marvin didn't recognize her. "if you've left something inside, we can go and retrieve it for you," she said, bored. "if you're looking to apply for a membership, you'll have to wait 'til morning."

marvin felt his eyes spark. "fuck off with that shit," he spat, and the woman's eyes widened. "just ask the goddamn question so i can come inside."

the woman blinked, clearly taken aback. maybe she was new. "have… have you heard of argus s. litvak?" she asked, almost timidly.

"'i believe magic lives in every spirit, lurking, hungry, for those who deserve the knowledge to free the mind and body,"' marvin responded, titling his head up. "i need to see kazuki kamata."

the woman shook her head slightly. "i'll need to contact my supervisor, it's after hours and i have to see your records -"

marvin slammed his fist into the wall, startling the woman. "do you even know who i am?" he shouted, desperately trying to stop his voice from shaking. "marvin "the fucking magnificent" mcloughlin, one of the greatest mages hecate has ever seen?"

he was starting to panic as the woman shook her head again, faster this time, and began to close the door. "wait, please, please, i need help, i can give you rare spells!"

he pulled the book from his jacket, waving it in front of her. "these are all the spells i've ever discovered, some of them are rare and shit, please, this is all i have. i have to find my brothers!"

the woman looked startled. without looking away, she reached up behind her ear and tapped, a small device there lighting up. "miss kamata?" she murmured. "there's a man named marvin mcloughlin here, he wants to see you. says he has rare spells in exchange for your help. no, i don't know either. yes, i'll - are you sure?" she paused. "ok, we'll be right up." she sighed and opened the door fully. "come inside, we'll -"

the second the barrier spells were down, marvin raced through the door, running past the woman despite her cries of protest. "sir - sir, come back, you're not allowed to run off unattended!" he didn't listen. he never did.

he knew exactly where he was going. there were several protection spells that he immediately broke, darting down the brightly lit halls and ignoring the open mouthed stares of various other magicians. he didn't stop until he reached a door at the top of a long flight of stairs with a golden plaque reading "kazuki kamata - please knock before entering." he threw the door open and practically fell inside, gasping and panting. "kazuki -" he started, before realizing there were about ten other people in the room apart from her. he must have burst into a meeting. every one of the sharply dressed magicians was staring at him, eyebrows raised. his cheeks burned, but he averted his gaze from them and instead focused on the woman sitting at her desk.

marvin had always found her to be intimidating. he couldn't help it. she was about six feet and wearing heels to make her even taller, with white jeans and a matching jacket. her black hair was let down to her shoulders, framing her soft face. even from here, her blue eyes bore into marvin, immediately making him regret running all the way up here.

"always the rulebreaker, even after leaving our organization," she said, a smirk forming on her face. "you must have been really desperate to see me."

the other magicians tittered softly. marvin refused to look at them. "kazuki, i need your help," he said, straightening his back. "please."

she tilted her head and stood, her hair floating upwards as she rose into the air and over her desk, landing gently just in front of marvin. "we didn't do our usual alliteration joke. this is a serious issue?."

he let out a shuddering breath, trying to keep control. "my - my brothers are missing, taken by someone magic. i need your help in finding them. please." he looked at her with pleading eyes. "just this one last favour. then i'll go and i won't bother you again."

"would you like me to escort him out, miss kamata?" said a man with frizzy black hair and a casual black suit who was slouching against the wall, arms crossed.

marvin glared at him. "raymond."

the man nodded at him curtly. "marvin."

"ok, come with me." kazuki beckons him to the door and marvin wasted no time racing after her, face burning as he left the room of sniggering magicians behind. the woman walked down the hall, opening the door to an empty room filled with shelves of books. marvin immediately began talking, furious.

"why do you keep that bastard around?" he said angrily, sitting himself on a desk in the centre of the room. "he's such an asshole."

"he's useful," kazuki said. she folds her arm. "teleportation isn't common, you know."

marvin spluttered. "he - he tried to steal my magic books, he cheated on me, i'm pretty sure he tried to kill me at one point -" he was going to continue when he suddenly remembered why he was here, guilt slamming into him. "fuck, my brothers!"

kazuki folded her arms, waiting. marvin began to explain, suddenly panicky again. how had he forgotten, how had his anger gotten the best of him again? yet another strike in the "asshole marvin" book. "kazuki, fuck, my brothers are missing - two of my brothers, one of them is sick, the other one took the other two, i don't know where, i don't know -"

"slow down," kazuki said calmly. she held both hands up and brought them down, like that would make marvin any less panicked. "something is wrong with your brothers?"

marvin couldn't believe what he was hearing. "i - yes, that's not - did you hear what i said?" he rolled his hands in a circle, trying to find the words to explain. "they're missing, ok, i have brothers and they're missing!"

"explain quickly," said kazuki. "and i'll see what i can do."

marvin did, trying his best to make sense. once he'd gone through most of the main details, kazuki nodded, clearly evaluating the situation in her head.

"i see," she said. "a rogue magician. and you think he has a black magic magician with him because…"

"the house fucking reeked of it, kaz, there's no way -"

"you will refer to me as kazuki if you must call me by my first name," she said firmly, and marvin's heart sank. he nodded rapidly.

"ok, ok, ok sure, whatever. can you help, please?"

she narrowed her eyes. "you broke many of the protection spells on the way in here."

"i'm sorry," marvin said, suddenly feeling extremely small.

kazuki pursed her lips. "you also tried to steal from me. or have you forgotten?"

to his horror, marvin felt tears well up in his eyes. "i never meant to hurt you, i'm so, so sorry. please, fuck, i'll…" his breath hitched. "fuck, i have my book, ok? the one you wanted? i'll give you all of it." he pulled the book from his jacket, handing it to a surprised kazuki. "this is all i have. i'm fucking begging you, kazuki, i've never begged for anything in my life but i'm begging now. i can't find them myself. i can't risk them g-getting hurt!"

he scrubbed the tears off his face, embarrassed, and when he looked up again, kazuki had softened. "i see clearly how much you care," she said quietly. marvin just looked to the floor.

after a pause, kazuki spoke again. "fine," she murmured, and marvin raised his head in surprise. "i'll get some of my best on it as soon as i can. if the situation gets bad, i'll call a friend from crawley to help."

marvin sobbed, covering his face with his hands. "fuck, kazuki, thank you, thank you -"

"and then you don't contact us for help again," she said. marvin didn't really expect her to say anything different. "i've saved your ass too many times, marvin mcloughlin."

she silently handed him a tissue from her jacket pocket, and marvin took it, avoiding her eyes. "thank you for everything," he mumbled. "and sorry for being an asshole."

she didn't reply to that. he was grateful all the same.

-

they were both sitting fully up on the bed now, henrik still holding tightly to chase's arm. he didn't mind. he held him and ran his fingers through his hair, waiting silently for jackie to start.

jackie was sat cross legged across from them, hands twisting in his lap. "suppose i should st-start from the beginning," he muttered. his stutter was starting to come back full force, and he was staring at his lap instead of looking them in the eyes. chase couldn't believe this was the same person who'd tried to throw him into a wall.

"everything was going wrong," jackie began. "henrik had b-been kidnapped and k-kept in that fucking basement for so - for so long. chase's k-kids went missing and you went to jail and came back t-two or so weeks later as a suicidal wreck. jamie… left." he suddenly shook his hands out, biting down on his lip. "anti - he was getting in my head. in my d-dreams. trying to fuck with me. i wasn't gonna let him - wasn't gonna let him hurt us anymore. i was s-so scared, guys, fuck." he covered his face with shaking hands, and chase suddenly felt a rush of warmth for him. he was about to reach out and pat his shoulder when henrik made a small noise, reminding him of what was happening. he sat back again, feeling guilty.

jackie shuddered and continued. "i knew marvin had left hecate cause they - they wanted his b-black magic, they wanted all his spells and shit and he didn't want to give it to them. he was too much of a p-pussy to use the magic he found. but i knew he must have been finding this b-black magic from somewhere. i decided to… to use my own skills to find out."

he meant his talent with computers and hacking, chase knew. he nodded slowly.

"i found… some kind of fucking small or-organization thing. they said - they said they'd sell me some magic i could use to protect you lot." his hand flew to his chest, touching the necklace underneath his hoodie. "b-but it was at a cost."

he paused. chase narrowed his eyes. "the cost of what?"

jackie's lip trembled.

"marvin didn't even notice," he said, very quietly. "he didn't know how p-powerful those spells he had were. neither did i. but it wae good enough for them."

chase's eyes widened, heart pounding. "jackie - you, you - you gave marvin's spells to a random black magic dealing organization?"

"just a few!" jackie protested. "i tore a few pages out of his book, i'm sure marvin has a c-copy somewhere -"

chase covered his mouth and let out a long groan. "oh my god. oh my god."

"but it worked," jackie said, and his grin was back. "the magic worked. it's… it feels like a fucking drug. i'm so… i'm p-powerful. so much more powerful. it goes far beyond my photokinesis. it's like -" he waves his hands around, small sparks of darkness falling off of them. "it's incredible."

he suddenly went quiet.

"i hunted anti d-down," he murmured. "he was all alone in those waterworks, the p-pathetic bastard. really, there was no p-point in him wasting away there anyway. and he - he thought it was just another easy f-fight for him." he gives a sharp laugh. "you should have seen the look on his face when he realized. by then it was too late."

realization dawned on chase. he immediately felt sick.

jackie kept going. "he fought so hard those first few weeks. k-kept sassing me, fighting me. so…" he trailed off. "i m-made sure he would never do that again."

"you killed him?" chase said, voice extremely high in pitch.

jackie shook his head, eyes glazed over. "no."

he didn't elaborate. just continued talking. "it was exhilarating, watching him get q-quieter and fight less. i think it was the lack of elect-tricity that was subduing him. still, he t-tried - tried to - kept t-trying to -" jackie made a choking sound. "marvin found him. anti's in his head." he looked up, eyes wild. "d-d-don't you agree with me, chase, henrik, my brothers, don't you agree i was doing the right thing?"

"you tortured him?" henrik whispered. his voice was hoarse. jackie's face twitched, his eyes changing from blue to black to blue.

"he tortured you," jackie said. "wouldn't you like to know he got what he deserved?"

henrik was shaking. "you're the same as him," he choked out. "how would i know you would not torture me too?"

jackie made a noise of shocked disbelief. "henrik - henny, hen, schneep, i'm your brother!" he tried to reach out to touch him, but chase slapped his hand away, rage suddenly replacing his fear. jackie looked at him, surprised.

"anti is… our brother too," chase said. "like it or not. he's terrible, he's a fucking bastard of a person and he's done horrible things and i will admit, the sound of him suffering doesn't greatly upset me. but by blood, he is our brother. your family bullshit doesn't mean anything."

jackie stared at them. and for a moment, there was no brother in front of them. just a stranger. a stranger with fully black eyes and a disgusted scowl that chase couldn't have ever imagined on jackie's kind face.

"you don't get it," he said.

"you've said this," chase replied.

"i'm trying to protect you," jackie insisted.

"you sound like a broken record," chase said. "over and over. what would you do if we tried to leave? would you torture us too? you've already thrown me with your new magic. why would i trust you not to do it again?"

jackie's mouth opened and closed. he looked like a fish out of water, a man completely out of his element.

he was spared from having to answer when someone began to pound on the front door.

"open up!" came a booming, authoritative voice. "this is the police, and i would recommend opening this door!"

-

it didn't take them long to find him. of course it didn't. they were hecate, the most powerful magical organization in the world. normally, marvin hated them. today, marvin was grateful. he didn't know what he would have done without them.

"we've located a huge magical spike in new romney," kazuki told him as they quickly walked down a flight of stairs to the front doors. "a motel somewhere - dark magic, magic we haven't seen the likes of in years. there is…" she went quiet for a moment. "i'll talk about that later. we've sent magicians out there already, through portals"

"i can do portals," marvin said quickly. despite being several inches taller than kazuki, he was struggling to keep up with her pace. "please, let me -"

"i was going to advise you took us there anyway, mr mcloughlin," kazuki interrupted smoothly. marvin raised an eyebrow.

"oh, i'm mr mcloughlin now, am i?" he said with a laugh. then he played back what she'd said. "wait, you're coming too?"

"of course i am." she sounded almost offended. "this is unknown magic. whoever your brother has with him must be powerful."

they opened the doors and stepped out into the chilly night. several other magicians were racing around, back and forth into the building. "what kind of magic are we talking?" marvin said. "i've seen black magic. why so much fuss? i mean, of course i'm grateful, but -"

"you don't - i'll explain it all later," she said, sounding stressed. "also, that book you gave me? your magic book? a bunch of the pages are missing. i hope you weren't thinking i wouldn't notice that."

marvin stopped walking. "wh - no, they're not!" he spluttered. "i swear, i swear, i wouldn't risk doing anything that would harm my brothers!"

kazuki stared at him suspiciously for a moment. then she glanced away, shaking her head. "whatever. we'll deal with it later. come round here, don't tell me you've forgotten the portal spots!"

there was of course a premade portal path in every branch of hecate; that was just common sense. "i've never been to new romney before," marvin admitted. "this might be hard."

"just focus." and for a moment, kazuki smiled, and she was just marvin's old friend again, real warmth in her eyes. then it was gone. "and be quick about it, these are your brothers," she snapped.

finally, marvin felt at ease. he was contributing. he knew what he was doing. at last, he was able to help with something.

he closed his eyes and prayed, for jackie's sake, that his brothers were ok.

-

they were all very quiet.

"police," jackie mumbled under his breath. he'd gone very pale. absentmindedly, he began to tug on his hoodie strings. "fuck, ok, ok."

jackie had been afraid of police ever since he'd gotten arrested for getting in a fight with some guy. he'd spent three hours in jail, waiting until marvin came to collect him. he hadn't spoken for hours afterwards. chase guiltily wondered if they could use that fear to their advantage. his hand touched the gun in its holster on his side, loaded and ready to be used.

the banging continued. "if this door isn't opened within the next ten seconds, we're breaking it down!"

jackie was on his feet in an instant. immediately, the darkness returned to his eyes and face, inky blackness being summoned to his fingertips and forming a whirlwind in the air. the chest of drawers underneath the window was ripped from its place on the floor and slammed against the door, blocking the exit. more furniture around the room followed it, barricading the window as well and preventing anyone from getting in. once he was finished, jackie stepped back, eyes melting back to their usual blue.

"ok," he said, shaking with panic. he turned on his brothers, who were both still holding each other on the bed. jackie's pupils had dilated to small pinpricks. "ok, so we're gonna go out the -"

the door exploded.

one second there had just been silence. then there was a fist of burning fire tearing though the room, bursting through everything stacked in front of the door like it were paper. chase instinctively grabbed his brother at the same time as he grabbed chase, and the force of the blast blew the two of them onto the floor, slamming into the wall. they cowered there against the roaring, thunder like boom of the blast. at one point chase's hearing gave out completely, leaving nothing but a ringing like a constant tinnitus spike from hell. he didn't open his eyes - he couldn't. all he could do was hold his brother close and hope the pain would disappear.

-

they were outside the motel when the inside of the building blew up.

the journey through the portal had been fine, as kazuki had reassured marvin it would be. it was always slightly disorienting getting used to being in a completely different place, like stepping out of a lift in a building you've never been in before, so when the explosion went off, it took a moment for it to register.

once it did, everything seemed to slow.

"chase!" marvin screamed. his legs were suddenly moving faster than he thought possible, leaving kazuki in the parking lot. "henrik!"

there were magicians, so many of them. magicians, and nonmags, too. he could almost sense the difference in them after having been around both types of people so much. so much blurry movement, screams and panicked cries, racing away from the spot on the second floor where everything was burning. marvin was running towards it. "chase, henrik, jackie, jackie!"

there was so much happening. marvin couldn't even compute everything that was going on at once. he could see a water based magician trying to put out the flames, he could see a woman being thrown back, a man screaming in pain, flames, flames, sparks of coloured magic flying -

and darkness. pure and black, in coils of thick, inky looking magic. it was taking over the fire, but the magicians were fighting back. without looking, marvin relit some flames in his hands and pushed through the smoke, searching, terrified out of his mind. "chase, henrik!" he screamed again, desperate for anything, anything.

a face appeared through the blackness. it took marvin a moment to register who it was, because his face was so filled with dark shadows that he was almost unrecognizable. but marvin would recognize that reddish brown mess of hair anywhere.

jackie. black eyes, black veins, streaks of obsidian trailing down the skin of his face and neck. tendrils of sharp charcoal emerged from his body, wisping into shadows that dissolved to nothing at the ends. when marvin looked at him, his eyes flickered back to blue, fear instantly sparking in them.

marvin had never felt such paralyzing shock in his life.

"it was you," he breathed. the flames hissed in his hands, dying down to embers on his skin. "you were the black magic signal they saw."

jackie just stared.

marvin could see two men helping his brothers in the background, and his heart leapt. they were ok. that was something. that was something.

"i didn't mean for this to happen," jackie murmured. the darkness began to retreat into himself, his body returning to normal.

and before either brother could say anything else, there were disembodied chains of silver wrapping around jackie and he shrieked, spikes of pure black reappearing and attempting to tear through the magic, but there were more magicians upon him and he roared, panic shot through his voice, and there was one second in which marvin could see his blue, blue eyes, burning brighter than any flames or magic he'd ever seen.

"marvin!" jackie howled. "marvin, help, please!"

he just watched. it was all he could do.

he was almost grateful when the flames became too much and he collapsed to the floor in a heap.

-

what had happened was this.

someone had blocked the door from inside. the group of five magicians who had gotten to the motel first, under the guise of police, had tried to bust it down, but the door couldn't be opened. one of them had the brilliant idea of levitating the furniture from the other side in one fell swoop, vanishing it and reappearing it in the parking lot, and then opening the door. which, in theory, might have actually worked.

but the combination of jackie's unrestrained black magic and the simple levitation spell happening at the same time in such a small capacity had been too much pressure for the tiny room. the explosion had knocked out chase, henrik, jackie and all the magicians for a brief moment, but the blast had cleared the door enough for them to get inside. after marvin had collapsed, kazuki told him, jackie had gone completely off the rails, not holding back before escaping from the chains and vanishing completely. he had killed one magician. two others were injured.

marvin had listened to this whole thing from a hospital bed, where he'd been taken after inhaling so much smoke. once kazuki had finished telling him, he'd rolled over and stared at the wall. he couldn't summon words anymore.

"i'll leave you to your grief," was all she said before gently touching his hair and stroking a strand behind his ear. he'd almost sobbed at the contact, but didn't cry. he still hadn't cried. he didn't think he'd accepted any of it yet.

the nonmag's were convinced it was a gas explosion, and no one was going to say anything otherwise. no nonmags had been hurt. there was something to be grateful for.

chase and henrik were alright. marvin hadn't yet seen them. but raymond - yes, raymond, that bastard - had come to tell him that chase said he was sorry for not realizing and for being a dumbass. normally, marvin would have laughed hearing his ex say those words. today, he didn't say a word.

anti was ok too, apparently. naomi and lucas had been marvin's third and fourth visitors, and had sat on either side of his bed to talk to him. "my friend's friend who's a doctor came over and helped settle him, fixed his arm up as best she could and got some food into him," naomi said. "miss kamata herself later came round to see him, when she told us about the explosion - why didn't you tell me you were friends with her, by the way? i mean, kazuki kamata!"

she was joking, but it just felt like more guilt being stacked on marvin's shoulders. he closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, suddenly tired. "i don't know. 'm sorry."

naomi seemed to pick up on his mood. "ok, well. anti is in here too, a few rooms away. he's still… pretty sick. luckily, i think the wounds in his mouth were dealt with almost immediately after it happened, or he would have choked on his blood. jackie must have -" she flinched at the look on marvin's face. "sorry. i'm… marvin, i am so sorry."

"me too," lucas said, reminding marvin that he was still there. he took a breath, looking uncomfortable. "i… i'm sure your brother was a great guy."

"he's not dead," marvin snapped, and lucas's shoulders shot to his ears. he cleared his throat, adjusting his glasses awkwardly.

"yes, of course," he mumbled, cheeks burning.

"maybe we should go," naomi said loudly. she jumped to her feet, eyes wide as she nodded towards to the doorway. lucas got the hint and raced out like he was on fire.

naomi turned back to him, a soft sadness on her face.

"i'm sorry," she said quietly. "please, don't blame yourself. i know you, marvin magnificent, and i know that's what you're doing. but… this couldn't have been prevented."

marvin nodded numbly. he could barely hear her anymore.

naomi leaned down and very gently pressed a kiss to marvin's forehead. then she straightened, blinking like she couldn't believe what she'd done. "see you," she said quickly, before following lucas out the room.

marvin touched his forehead gently and felt warmer.

when he turned back to look at his bedside table, a bouquet of multicoloured freesia flowers had grown out of it. they were the most colourful thing in the room.

no one knew where jackie was. his signal couldn't be tracked anymore, which could mean anything from he'd taken the necklace off or he'd died. marvin didn't believe it could be that last one, though. he'd know if jackie was dead. he wasn't sure how, but he'd know.

marvin knew everything about his brother. or he thought he had, once. he wasn't sure if he knew anything anymore.

end act one - beneath the music shop

[littlekatleaf]

Buried in a burning flame is love and its decisive flame (part 6)

Part One    Part Two     Part Three      Part Four    Part Five

Something was buzzing right in his ear. Almost like a chainsaw but not quite. On the other side, hair tickled his cheek. What dragged him back to full awareness, though, was the flayed feeling of being watched. Junkrat shifted and opened his eyes. The room was empty, but a door clicked shut down the hall. Waking up sandwiched between two people was odd. More so that neither was Roadhog. Most odd, though, was how comfortable he felt. Despite the congestion and headache, his body was relaxed, warm. Sleep had been dreamless and deep. Untangled himself from the blanket, from Hana and Lucio’s arms, carefully so he didn’t wake them. 

Least the floor felt solid under him again. Maybe getting better. Step-tapped down the hall, listening to see who might be awake in the not-yet dawn. Nothing from Mei and Satya’s room or Lena and Emily. Also silence from his own room, which could only mean Roadhog was awake. Otherwise the snoring’d be enough to deafen. He stood in front of the closed door for a long minute. Knock? Just go in? That idea felt weird. Wished it didn’t - didn’t used to. What had changed? Maybe should go back to the couch and pretend like everything was fine. Would be easiest - he considered it with longing. Now that he’d been up a minute realized was still a little dizzy. Unfortunately, though Hana and Lucio were cozy he didn’t want to give them whatever plague he had. 

Raised a hand to knock. Hesitated. Maybe Roadie’d just got up for the bathroom. No reason to interrupt him, demanding an explanation for something he hadn’t done. Dropped his hand. Stepped back. 

He turned and detoured to the kitchen - maybe another drink’d knock him out. Give Roadhog enough time to fall asleep too; then he could crash in the cot with no one the wiser. He’d just put the kettle on to boil when the house sat comm beeped. 

Jumped to reach it before the sound woke someone. “Yeah?”

“Fawkes - it’s Morrison.” As if it’d be anyone else on the other end of the comm at the ass crack of dawn on Christmas. 

“Hey old man.” Serve him right, callin’ him Fawkes. Ain’t no one called him that.

The disapproval practically radiated from the link through the silence, then “Where’s Lena?”

“Still sleepin’, her ‘n everyone else. Ain’t even daybreak here, mate.”

Another heavy silence. Wondered whether Morrison’d call him out for insubordination. Or at least being annoying. Grinned as Morrison contented himself with a deep sigh. “There’s been further intel. Null Sector was sent to retrieve a device that was supposed to be under guard in the settlement attacked yesterday morning. Our source says they weren’t successful. It’s unclear whether the device was left behind or taken when the settlement was vacated. We need to send in a recon team to ascertain whether the device is still in play.” 

Junkrat considered asking whether he remembered it was a holiday, but figured he did. Maybe it was just another day for Morrison, too. “Suppose this needs to happen asap, yeah?”

“If we don’t get in there, they will. I hope I don’t need to explain how problematic that would be.”

“Nah. Got it.”

“I’m sending schematics. Have Lena look them over before she goes, then delete. Can’t have anyone else getting hold of them. And tell her to report immediately upon her return.”

“Always does, don’t she?” For all her tendency to lighthearted fun, Lena was conscientious and responsible and it grated to think Morrison didn’t recognize that.

Course Morrison didn’t bother to respond, just cut the connection.

“Dipstick,” Junkrat muttered. The question was, what to do now? Not a question, really. Wake Tracer, interrupt her holiday, and give her Morrison’s assignment. After all, who else could do it? The whispered tone was sly. Had a point though - why did Lena need to have her holiday morning interrupted for a simple recon mission? Seemed like something one person could do alone. Why drag anyone else out into the cold. Oh Jamison. You think you could be trusted with this? Laughter scraped his thoughts. He scowled. Course - why else would Morrison tell me. A small, considering hum. Perhaps… a chance to prove yourself somewhat useful. Yes; exactly. He’d take care of it - be back before anyone else got up. Prove it wasn’t just Roadhog they needed. 

The kettle whistled shrill and he startled, yanked it off the burner. Fortunately still heard Hana snoring from the living room. Dumped boiling water over two teabags, Roadie’s opinion be damned. No time for ‘real’ tea. Needed to get moving before someone caught him. He checked the files Morrison had sent - straightforward enough. A small case, with something inside that looked very much like a bomb - one big enough to take out several city blocks. He memorized the look of the case, the details of the bomb - tried not to imagine what the explosion would look like… would feel like. Then deleted the files. Gonna do what he was supposed to this time. Gonna follow orders. Not gonna take the device for himself and disappear. Not this time.

Are you quite certain you are capable? The illness, the fever… you are likely not up to it. Perhaps you should wake Tracer. He clenched his jaw. ‘M fine. Can do this on me own; told the voice. Told himself. Not weak. Not pathetic. Almost like his own body rebelled his decision, a sudden urge to sneeze had him scrambling to keep from spilling his tea as he stifled the fit. Just a cold. She’ll be right.

In case, though… in case he wasn’t capable…and maybe to see… see whether it was the money, the treasure…  Junkrat found a piece of paper and scribbled a handful of words and a set of coordinates. Not the words he really needed to say, but the question he needed answered. In case, and to see. He slipped the paper under Roadhog’s door - usual snoring now - and headed out. Be back before anyone realized he was gone - but if not, the note would tell Roadhog what he’d need to know.

Night was cold - though supposed that went without sayin’. Always cold, here. Not sure he was gonna ever get warm. Be a bit of a hike, without the ute… but didn’t want to risk disturbing Lena to get the keys. Didn’t mind a walk now and then. The tea was still warm, the caffeine lending him a measure of energy. Somehow, his body felt a little floaty. Make the walk easier, maybe. The snow had stopped, sky gone clear and dotted with stars that shimmered like diamonds scattered on deep indigo velvet. The moon was high and full, reflecting light over the snow covered fire road.

Junkrat walked, following the tire tracks from earlier in the day, just barely visible. Good thing, too - not sure he’d remember the way otherwise. His breath puffed clouds. The depth of the quiet was unexpected - birds still sleeping, too cold for crickets. Snow creaked under his steps, ice-covered tree branches snapped. Then, somewhere in the mountains above the high, mournful cry of a coyote. Raised the hair at his nape, a chill of goose flesh over his arms. An answering yip, off to his right. Another farther ahead. Hunting. Wondered who was prey? Another howl, then a high scream, and more barking howls. The pack had caught something, likely a rabbit,  and the sounds made him shiver. Rubbed a hand over his forehead, kept walking as the sun rose over the mountains.

As he drew closer to the settlement even through the congestion, he caught the lingering scent of explosives, of charred metal and burned wood. Fortunately, still seemed just as deserted as it had before. Bots no more than twists of metal and scrap. Listened carefully for any signs of life, of movement but there was nothing. A breeze kicked up, rustling tree branches and sending skirls of snow swirling around his foot. He shivered suddenly, coughed. Right. Check the cabins fast, in and out and no meandering. 

Former inhabitants must’ve cleared out in a hurry - one of the cabins had the remnants of an unfinished meal scattered over the table. A spilled mug, puddle of coffee frozen. Stove unlit, the place was no warmer than outside. Clothes, books, toiletries all left behind. First cabin clear - no case. Second and third cabins much the same. Was downright eerie. 

Junkrat was entering the last cabin when he caught the unmistakable crunch of footsteps from somewhere behind the building. His heart tripped, double-timed. Fuck. No chance it was any of the Overwatch crew - they’d have taken the ute and hadn’t heard it. Not bots, either, steps too light and quick for a mech. Looked around the cabin - hide or fight? Hadn’t brought much in the way of weapons. Couple of grenades and that was it. Perhaps you didn’t think this one through, yes? What will you do now, with no bodyguard to protect you?

Junkrat pushed the thoughts away. Fuck that. He’d lived most of his life on his own. Didn’t need Roadie. Exactly. He’d figure this out. The cabin was all one room, not offering much in the way of hiding places. Under the bed would only be a trap. Maybe if he closed the door quick and quiet the lock would hold… Was just about to do so when a small black case caught his eye. Someone had shoved it under the bed, but not far enough. The case or the door? 

Kicked the case farther into the darkness under the bed and lurched for the door as a shadow fell across the entrance. Click of bootheel on the threshold. A sense of foreboding washed over him like nausea. Junkrat squinted in the dim light of dawn and the figure lifted her head, revealing a shock of red hair and suddenly his entire body went numb.

“Well, well, well. Jamison Fawkes.” Her face was still in shadows but he knew that voice, the Irish lilt. Hearing it outside his head made the world tilt and he almost staggered. “There were rumors that Overwatch had taken in a Hog and its pet Rat.” She glanced around the room, as though Roadhog might be hiding somewhere. “You’ve come alone?” Her tone was one of delight. 

“Ain’t alone. Me body guard’s just in the other cabin.” Lies came easily, and though his voice was hoarse, it was steady. He lifted his chin. “An’ I ain’t a kid no more, neither.”

“It has been some time. Indeed, you are no longer a child.” Felt her gaze taking in every inch of his body. A shiver he couldn’t suppress climbed up the back of his neck. She stepped toward him and he resisted the urge to move back. She reached out and placed her right hand on his chest. Her fingers were like white spider legs, and her nails were dagger sharp and still painted purple. His heart stuttered under her palm. “You feel hot - are you ill?” 

“Just your hands are cold,” he tried, but even as he said it, he knew he was going to sneeze. Fucking always. He ducked away from her as his body convulsed.  “AhRissshah!  Issh! HaRiiissh-uh!”

As he tried to catch his breath, she backed away from him. Didn’t realize she was moving toward the bed until it was too late. She leaned down and with one swift motion pulled the case free. “Overwatch should have sent someone else. Not a boy...weak…  ill.” Her teeth flashed in a grin. “I would love to stay, to see how you have been after all this time, but I must deliver this. Perhaps I will return, and perhaps you will still be here.” 

Knew he should run, but he had no energy left. Reached into his pocket for a grenade instead- maybe it’d take him out, but she wouldn’t have the bomb. Could see exactly how a real explosion felt. He yanked free the explosive, she raised her right hand and a stream of purple and gold energy flew from her palm. Everything went white, then black.  

[aion-rsa]

Rick and Morty’s Most Gruesome Deaths

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The super-slick, super-sick Rick and Morty brand is known for many things: the warped, borderline-abusive dynamic between its titular characters, its deliciously dark humour, the gleefulness it takes in capsizing the conventions of a thousand genre tropes. Then there are the catch-phrases, and the colourful cast of supporting characters – everything from fatally-depressed Mr Meseeks to embedded family friends like Mr Poopybutthole. What really characterises it though, is death. That it’s not the first association you make with the show is possibly a by-product of there being so damn much of it that it stops registering.

There are long deaths, slow deaths, good deaths, bad deaths, sad deaths, funky deaths, perfunctory deaths, ironic deaths, iconic deaths, horrid deaths, hilarious deaths and hectares of borderline disturbing deaths.

Here are the most gruesome, in all their gory glory, season by season. (It’s a testament to Rick and Morty’s perpetually heavy ante that a little girl having her head sliced off by a Freddy Krueger substitute doesn’t even make it onto the list.)

I hope you haven’t eaten yet.

S1, E3 ‘Anatomy Park’ Come Flay With Me

Morty fails to save a fellow miniaturised man when things go south in ‘Anatomy Park’, a themed pleasure experience situated inside the body of a chronically unwell homeless man. The poor soul is sucked through the dying tramp’s windpipe and out through his mouth, the skin and flesh being stripped from his bones in the process, leaving him a peeled human spit-ball.

S1, E3 ‘Anatomy Park’ Space Guts

Things aren’t any less gruesome when the bloated corpse of the tramp is made giant by science. It ends up floating in space – because of course it does – whereupon it’s blown to smithereens, sending bone and guts spiralling into the void.

S1, E5 ‘Meeseeks and Destroy’ Who You Gonna Kill?

Morty not only finds himself preyed upon by parasite zombie versions of his family, but also has to watch as they’re trapped, burned, squished, melted and pulled into a piece of trapping technology that Rick clearly ripped from Egon’s ghost-busting manual.

S1, E5 ‘Meeseeks and Destroy’ Fairytale Ending

A fairytale giant – in the ‘Fe Fi Fo Fum’ mould – slips in his kitchen and slams his skull on a table-top. He bleeds out, a look of mystified shock frozen in his eyes, convulsing as his life-force ebbs away. RIP childhood.

S1, E6 ‘Rick Potion #9’ RIP and Mortal

In a sequence as chilling as it is gruesome, Rick mishandles some super-dangerous piece of kit and blows himself and Morty to Kingdom Come. Their crumpled remains, spattered with blood, smash against the wall; Rick’s eye pops out. Our own – thankfully unscathed – Rick and Mortys arrive from a doomed neighbouring dimension to bury them and take their place.

S1, E8 ‘Rixty Minutes’ Lepre-gone

You should never watch Inter-dimensional TV on a full stomach. In this advert, a cereal-hocking leprechaun – the mascot of this universe’s favourite breakfast cereal, Strawberry Smiggles – is pinned down on a tree stump by a little boy and girl, who proceed to slit open his abdomen and feast on his spilled-out innards; even squeezing out cereal shapes from his intestines and gobbling them like Pez sweets.

S2, E4 ‘Total Rickall’ Memory Massacre

Morty and family encounter shape-shifting alien parasites that reproduce through implanting false memories in a host’s brain. Their pus-fountained death throes – as their bodies wither, wilt, and burst in a screaming fanfare of tentacles – is pretty gruesome to behold, but thankfully you become desensitised to it pretty quickly.

S2, E7 ‘Big Trouble in Little Sanchez’ Rick Kills Himselves

At least Rick is an equal opportunities murderer. Even another version of himself isn’t exempt from his nihilistic rage. Here he gleefully smashes, drop-kicks and hacks up his own glass-encased surrogates, leaving a pile of bloodied parts strewn across the floor.

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S2, E8 ‘Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate’ Man vs Car

Another Interdimensional TV segment, another stomach churner. Literally this time.  A punkish strongman is crushed to death under the wheels of a car he’d hoped to repel, his blood and body parts thrown from the fast-spinning tyres like fireworks from a Catherine Wheel.

S2, E8 ‘Interdimensional Cable 2: Tempting Fate’ Jerrymurdering

Jerry is violently shot to death, leaving his face a drooping, lacerated, blood-dripping husk. Thankfully he’s in a technologically sophisticated futuristic hospital that presumably offers socialised healthcare.

S2, E9 ‘Look Who’s Purging Now’ Mashes to Mashes

When Rick and Morty don robo-suits and enter the Purge, expect blood. When Rick hoists a purgee off the ground and pops his head off like it was a bottle-top, sending a fountain of blood arcing into the air, it’s pretty damn disgusting – and admittedly also a bit cool – but for gruesomeness you can’t beat the sight of two people having their heads slammed together leaving a mess of pink-hued, brain-flavoured mashed potato.

S3, E1 ‘The Rickshank Rickdemption’ Pop Goes the Weasel

In the midst of some inter-dimensional Rick and Morty-based carnage, a poor Morty is crushed to death with one swift trample, as if he were nothing more than a tube of toothpaste. His dead body lies on the ground like a stuffed tiger rug, his hollow eye sockets and melon-mouth aflame with blood.

S3, E2 ‘Rickmancing the Stone’ Bad Beth

Summer flips a Mad Max-style baddy’s death-machine, maiming him horribly. He drags his torso towards her from the wreck, on a slime of entrails, pleading with her to put him out of his misery. ‘OK,’ she says, ‘But not because you told me to.’

S3, E2 ‘Rickmancing the Stone’ Give Him a Big Hand

For maximum yuk, you really can’t beat Morty smashing skulls to a pulp in a Thunderdome-inspired death arena with his beefy, vengeful and murderously sentient replacement arm.

S3, E3 ‘Pickle Rick’ Rat-a-tat-splat

I’m going to condense multiple deaths into one here, all perpetrated by that mighty, vegetable-based superhero, Pickle Rick. First, he slices off a rat’s head with a trap and harvests its bones and sinew to add limbs to his pickle body. Next, he proceeds to dispatch a whole army of rats with his makeshift power-tools in a variety of brutal and ghastly ways: pummelling brains; suspending bleeding corpses from the ceiling; cutting them into strips, and even cleaving them in two. Riotously disgusting.

S3, E3 ‘Pickle Rick’ Laser Tag

Pickle Rick’s human opponents fall just as easily – and horrifically. The best, and messiest, kill is when Pickle Rick bores a laser-shot through the heads of three of his enemies, and then proceeds to stare cockily through the tunnelled lens of charred goo like some pickle-based James Bond.

S3, E4 ‘Vindicators 3: The Return of Worldender’ Falling Down

Speaking of Superheroes, let’s say hello and goodbye to Morty’s favourite team, The Vindicators, most of whom met a particularly savage end. First there’s Vince Maximus, who flies into a ceiling vent, and is shot to death in such a spirit of Rambo-esque overkill that his disembodied legs drop to the ground like a downed plane.

S3, E4 ‘Vindicators 3: The Return of Worldender’ See You Later Alligator (In a Pile, Crocodile)

Then there’s Croc-u-bot, splatted into a green pulp by a springing trap.

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S3, E5 ‘Vindicators 3: The Return of Worldender’ Ants in His Pants

And the perpetually angry Alan Rails, whose gullet is invaded by the shifting, morphing body of Million Ants, who first inflates him then detonates him in a riot of guts.  

S3, E5 ‘The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy’ Game Over

This one if possibly the most viscerally gruesome death in the entire show. A little girl is shot through the head by her giggling boy pal just as Rick deactivates the invincibility shield protecting everyone inside the dome from death.

S3, E5 ‘The Whirly Dirly Conspiracy’ A Bug’s Death

Another death that’s psychologically, rather than physically, gruesome. Three little bug-people sit toasting each other’s health and happiness. ‘Let’s just relax and enjoy our retirement,’ says one, as he’s snatched by a bird of prey and carried to his doom. The last thing we see of him as he’s ferried to his horrible off-screen death is the open portal of his screaming mouth.

S3, E6 ‘Rest and Ricklaxation’ Party Poopers

A furry party-entertainer and a bunch of happy young kids are engulfed in a toxicity field. An angry exchange ensues, which culminates in the brutal beating, beheading and evisceration of the entertainer. They’re also available for weddings and Bar Mitzvahs.

S3, E7 ‘The Ricklantis Mixup’ Morty’s Flush

Thousands of dead Rick and Mortys float eerily through space having been tossed from the airlock by a homicidal Morty.

S4, E1 ‘Edge of Tomorty: Rick Die Rickpeat’ Crystal Death Addiction

When Morty first gazes upon the death crystal we see a shimmering smorgasbord of possible deaths. If you’ve got a fast pausing-hand, or the eyes of a spider, you’ll see such memorably brutal deaths as: Morty being sucked through a spacecraft toilet and ejected into the cold, airless void of space; dropped into a nest of giant baby birds and torn asunder; decapitated by an elevator door; and even falling from a skyscraper and being whisked to death by helicopter blades.

S4, E1 ‘Edge of Tomorty: Rick Die Rickpeat’ Rick’s Crystal Maze

Rick carks it in some hellishly grizzly ways, too. He’s torn in half by Squanch, is eaten by a giant spider, has his head splattered open like a melon by a swinging log, and – in perhaps the most horrific segment – has his body churned through a rectangular aperture in a giant Play Doh maker.

S4, E1 ‘Edge of Tomorty: Rick Die Rickpeat’ Clunk, click. Dead Rick.

Rick soon after dies for real (but not forever) in a spacecraft crash following some death-crystal-related shenanigans, smashing through the windscreen and impaling himself on a spike.

S4, E1 ‘Edge of Tomorty: Rick Die Rickpeat’ The Wasp Factory

Extra points for top tier body-horror gruesomeness with this one. Wasp Rick lays eggs in giant Rick’s eye, causing fast-hatching grubs to spill out from his massive mouth. Seconds later, a horde of Rick-wasps hatches en masse from his face, splitting it open like an overboiled hot-dog. Yuk!

S4, E3 ‘One Crew Over the Crewcoo’s Morty’ Treachery Will Tear Us Apart

Heist artist Miles Knightley is torn apart like a chicken dinner by a medley of bizarre alien creatures – a cross between the ghosts from The Real Ghostbusters intro sequence and something that fell out of Clive Barker’s nightmares – whose piece de resistance is yanking the skin from his wet skull like it’s a bad mask. 

Are there any particularly gruesome deaths you’d like to add to the list? Or would you like to weigh in on which of these fatalities repulsed or horrified you the most?

The post Rick and Morty’s Most Gruesome Deaths appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[sepiadice]

DiceJar Campaign 0.3: Holes, Doors, and Blood (2020/03/13)

Finally killed my first PC as a GM!

Yup… Wasn’t intentional but… well, dice made things interesting, so I have to work with it.

We also didn’t have our rogue, which is unfortunate as she’s an enjoyable member, and also there were a lot of traps and locks this time.

The content went through almost the remainder of what was prepared for the previous session. I’d like to get through the content a little faster so the group can move on to actual role-play opportunities, instead of dungeon crawling. It’s an unfortunate result of my experimental Game Mastering a Module, and I’ll likely try and stick to homebrew in the future.

Or, at least, look for modules with more emphasis on socializing.

I did a medium job preparing this session. I got complacent and let the session slip far to the back of my mind leading up. I found my sweet spot session 2, so I need to keep that standard.

Cast

Mogui (IndigoDie): Druid. Does what he’s told by his employer. Indigo has played this module before. Yot (LimeDie): Cleric. Looking to redeem himself for past failures. Lime will commit to bits. Bernard 'Bean' Dipp (NavyDie): Ranger. Trying his best despite being so young. Navy doodles when he’s bored. Delilah Dunford (VermilionDie): Rogue. Searching for an identity beyond her family. Vermilion could not make this session. Game Master (SepiaDie/me): The world (a dusty, dusty world). The walls probably have stories to tell. I’m desperately trying to keep ahead with drawing the map.

Session Three

We reopen in the loot room we ended in the last session. Navy is given his rewards and I expound on the uses of the various items they received.

Now given the opportunity to read his letter, Navy delays long enough to wonder if he’s chosen to make Bean illiterate, but eventually he takes to giving the description: his mother wrote it, opening with a joke, and giving random updates about life in town despite the letter needing to have been placed before the arrival of the party, but it’s an opportunity for the players to expound on their families, so maybe his mother is a little airheaded?

The letter canonizes a High School which has a football team and a glee club. Will anything come of it? Probably not. Did I say with a sigh ‘Guess that’s canon now…’? You bet I did! Always say yes! Improv!

The party headed back into the room with the pool, tested the other door to find it locked, and moved towards the wailing.

The chamber to the East of the entrance contained several walls crisscrossing. A door stood locked to the south. The puzzle of this room is walking around various hidden pit traps while finding three switches that must be held down at the same time to unlock the exit. I originally ruled the switches take a few minutes to reset so the party can run to get to the door, but then I remembered Delilah is technically still there, so I reverted it to operate as written.

Bean and Yot both took turns falling in holes as Mogui moved around cautiously and managed to jump clear of the one pit he did accidentally trigger.

The three maneuvered around the chamber until they found the necessary switches, activated them, and Delilah held open the door so they could get through.

Walking through the next hallway, they finally reached the door for the room from whence the wailing was emitting.

They all decide to ignore it.

Which means they’ve skipped some plot exposition. Oh well, keep rolling and adapt.

Instead, they go down a fork and into an empty room, which formerly held a giant beetle, but I cut that combat as being wholly unnecessary. Instead, our party continues through into the next chamber, which has a fight I did not cut, as I thought it would have narrative value.

A fire pit smolders in the center of the room, a charred corpse within. Upon the arrival of our party, a dark apparition arises and squares up to fight our heroes.

Bean had acquired an Oil of Magic Weapon, granting his bow Plus-One Status, and rendering it a magic attack, so he’s able to harm the shadow.

Yot, meanwhile, uses Holy Flame. Fun fact about our apparition: it was born because a pyrophobic man burned alive in a structure already pretty rife with necromantic energies. That terror and agony was all it took to create the shadow.

So the enemy is real mad at being set on fire, sending out psionic screams for flavor.

Mogui just watches the fight.

After a few rounds of Magic Bow and holy flames, the Shadow perishes. Victory music for everybody!

The party leaves the room, continues to ignore the terrified wails, and enters the last available door.

Within is a round, domed room, with a wooden pillar, standing on an outcrop over a pit at the center of the room, that fires blunted arrows. This is felt to be rather unpleasant, and the party discusses how to deal with it.

Eventually, they check out the door, and find a mechanism built into it.[1] The party attempts to break the mechanism.

Bean then enters, and is pelted by blunt arrows. He walks around and tries to open a southern exit, finding it to be locked, so Bean attempts to approach the trap. Unfortunately, he takes enough nonlethal damage to get knocked out. Whoops.

After waiting for the mechanical whirring to stop, the other two call after Bean, receiving no response. So they cautiously enter.

The trap is now docile. And the southern door is unlocked.

So, what happened here, by the text of the module, is that the trap keeps running for ten rounds, at which time it’ll be exhausted of arrows, and the south exit will automatically unlock. The hope was the party would take the tower shields from the wood golem of last session to block the arrows.

Because of how they broke the activating mechanism (as they snapped off the metal arm in the door hinge that turned the machine off and on), I decided that now once it turned on, it couldn’t turn off. So after Bean was knocked out, the trap kept running until it ran out of rounds.

Don’t ask how the trap’s supposed to keep pelting adventurers inside the chamber after the door closes. Magic I guess.

Stop asking how traps work.

Mogui investigated the south exit while Yot checked on Bean. The door was, of course, unlocked, to the annoyance of Navy, and Yot was taking his sweet time healing Bean, but soon the party was on their feet again and ready for whatever came next.

The final room of the floor widened as it went, the ceiling supported by four columns. Stairs to the south lead to the… basement? Second basement? The crypt’s already underground, so what terminology applies here, I’m not…

Also, there’s two statues in recesses of the south wall. The Module text doesn’t call any attention to them, but they’re probably Kassen.

Our heroes enter this room, get to approximately the middle of the room, and four skeletons, with talon-like clawed fingers and blood dripping from their bones, step out from behind the columns, and menace the heroes.

Combat begins.

As does a series of horrible rolls from both parties. Just a lot of do-nothing turns. Yot tries to bash the skeletons and misses, Bean fires arrows and the closest he got sent the arrow through the ribcage of one skeleton. The skeletons weren’t faring much better, three of them crit fumbling at some point, which I interpreted them as falling prone for a turn.

The rolls were so bad I gently reminded my party that I set up a dice-roll bot in the Discord channel, if they wanted to put Roll20’s die-roller into dice prison. They didn’t go for it.

Back and forth the combat went, the skeletons getting a couple lucky hits on Bean. Eventually, and tragically, those lucky hits added up and Bean hit zero. Navy started making Death Saves, a realm where the exhaustingly low rolls followed and brought him to his death.

NavyDie then spent the rest of the combat doodling an increasingly elaborate death scene, with grave stone, candles, what was either a pentagram or an alchemy circle,[2] and death himself. Whatever self-amusement was needed.

As a narrative-first GM, Player Characters dying in combat is not something I enjoy. I am now in an awkward position of needing to figure out how to proceed and keep Navy involved. If he still wishes to play, of course. A couple options immediately spring to mind: bringing in a new character will be narratively awkward at this point, as we need to justify why the ignorant town would send back up, or why a kid is running so late; there’s an available NPC I could give Navy, but he’d be an odd (but doable) add; or, and this is an idea I like most, I can bring Bean back for a price…[3]

But I need to talk it through with NavyDie first.

Back to those still alive.

Mogui maneuvers to keep a safe distance, eventually coaxing one of the four skeletons back to the previous room, running a circle and returning to the main combat room, closing the door behind him. I rolled a die to determine the nature of the skeletons, and concluded they’re running on animalistic instinct, and thus can’t operate a door.

Also, this cuts down on enemies to delay the fight and rewards IndigoDie for clever problem solving.

Yot, growing tired of not hitting with his Mace, starts using Holy Flame again, forcing the Skeletons to use the horrible dice rolls to avoid damage instead of Yot using the same rolls to cause damage. Progress starts to get made.

Mogui turns into a tiger and starts running about and attempting to hit the skeletons, but still no luck.

There’s also some talk about how the skeletons aren’t taking attacks of opportunity, which had a very elegant explanation: I totally forgot about that mechanic, and I also just plain hate attacks of opportunity. They feel cheap and punish players for not carefully considering every minutiae of their actions.[4]

Eventually, the skeletons are finally either redead, or trapped in another room.

With one dead, the remaining three party members stare towards the stairs to the next floor. As the only escape is to fight the skeleton in the previous room, they mostly consider what difficulty they’re prepared to face.

Of the three sessions played thus far, this one felt of middle quality. I forgot to read my opening crawl text, and I waited until the last minute to write notes for the remainder of the floor (after copying over the leftovers from session two). Neither the combat with the Shadow (where I forgot to implement the smoke in the eyes mechanic the module wanted me to) or the Bloody Skeletons (with horrible dice rolls)[5] felt particularly fun or worthwhile. I’ll probably look to cut more superfluous fights going forward.

I’m also looking forward to moving out of the dungeon. I am learning a lot, as was my goal with running this module, but I’m missing being able to Role-Play as GM.[6] I’m certainly learning to answer questions the text didn’t bother to address, and also how annoying module formatting can be with where it explains things.

When I find time, I should sit down and design a dungeon of my own. That would also be a good learning experience, and also let me feel more at ease with making world-based rulings on the fly and implement elements I like and minimize those I don’t.

There’s just so much combat and map-based traps written in this thing. Makes it too difficult to abstract out the traps and rely on theater of the mind.

Most important take away: Attacks of Opportunity are dumb, and I hereby houserule them away.

I’ve already set things in motion for fun plot developments after this session’s events and feedback received, and hopefully the next write-up will come in about two weeks.

Until next time, may your dice make things interesting.[8]

-

[1] The party is really interested in the actual mechanics of these traps, which the module doesn’t explain, forcing their poor GM to try and reverse engineer it, and maybe I need to start shrugging and saying ‘I dunno, magic I guess.’ [2] Which is a good way to lose a sibling. [3] Just sent Navy a text asking if he’d like a level of Warlock. This could be fun. [4] Also, my experience with another player exploiting the mechanic to attempt to kill me. [5] Though based on his recap, IndigoDie enjoyed the combat for the bad rolls? Interesting guy. It felt like a bad joke that kept repeating to me, and I failed to improvise an Out for those involved. [6] Especially since Indigo sidestepped the opportunity I did have![7] [7] Whatever. Gives me time to give the man a less stupid name. [8] Despite working it into the opening, this sign off still doesn’t sit right. Feels too long… Magazines have little icons to mark the end. Maybe I should do the same?

[cittsah]

BNHAxPortal

Some writing I did to accompany that concept I posted earlier. This writing is based on the idea where Izuku walked away from aperture with 2 quirks. I decided to treat it as some creative writing practice. It definitely helped kill some time. This hasn’t really been proof read so there are likely mistakes and flubs abound

----------------------------------------------------------------

Intro- pick up end of portal 2 essentially

               Izuku froze as the elevator shuddered to a stop. The rusty door in front of him creaked as it slowly opened. The jerky motion was accompanied by dull snaps. Fresh air washed over him, the gentle breeze carrying thin strips of light with it. When the door finally swung fully open, the world beyond was revealed.

               The moon soared above him, its cool beams streaking through the canopy of the surrounding trees. Izuku stared at it, transfixed. His first steps towards freedom were shaky. His body trembled like the glittering leaves above him. Dirt squished between his pale toes as he stumbled forward. His pale skin hadn’t seen the light of the sun for years, the closest he ever got in the Aperture Laboratories were the bridges that GLaDOS told him were made from real sun light.

               When his feet hit grass, he could no longer remain upright. Izuku fell to his knees, his tail made a soft thud as it fell with him. The thick appendage swiped side to side as he reveled in the natural bumps and tugs from the forest floor. Rounded green ears to match his tail sat perked upon his head. They swiveled like satellite dishes and devoured the chirps of insects, the groan of swaying trees, and the haunting hoots of owls.

               Izuku hadn’t experienced the outside world since he was a child, well a much younger child. It was all so foreign, and yet so painfully nostalgic at the same time. These overwhelming feelings meant that he hardly paid any mind to the new stains his orange rolled pants and matching jacket he had tied around his waist, were accumulating. Instead, molten tears welled in his eyes, they streaked hot trails down his cheeks as they fell. Though they streamed heavily, much of their burn was swiftly soothed by the chilled night air.

               All of the boy’s thoughts screeched to a halt when the door behind him clanged shut. A low rumble filled the air as the small shed shook. The flora that had grown over the small building quaked as the door swung back open and hacked out the companion cube like it was an unruly furball.

               In some twisted way, Izuku was relieved to see it, even in its semi charred state. The companion cube was familiar, and it was safe. Often, when consumed with loneliness or despair, the teen would whisper to the cube. The cube didn’t mock his stutter or call him fat and useless like GLaDOS did. The cube didn’t betray him like the tiny bot Wheatley.

               Slightly steadier hands reached out and pulled the cube to his chest. Izuku sighed, the awful stench of ash, and some other stench the boy couldn’t quite put his finger on, the cube emanated seemed all the more apparent in the clean earthy air of the forest. Regardless of the smell, Izuku still held the cube close and found comfort in its presence. The cold metal left smudges of ash on his flesh and Aperture standard testing uniform.  

               Al-A-Alright,” the boy breathed out, “O-one step a-at a t-t-time.” It was time for him to move on. He had spent so long locked away that he yearned to take his freedom back.

However, the boy was hesitant. Humans were the ones who locked him up in Aperture to begin with, and all because he had a quirk, well quirks now. People didn’t like quirks, people didn’t like different. Now he was about as different as the come out of place and out of time. He didn’t even know how long he was in stasis the first time let alone the second, though Wheatley’s comments when he woke up the second were good indicators that it had been much longer than he would have liked.

With that Izuku shifted. Green fur with red spattering sprouted from his skin. His face stretched into a round snout. His nails curved, forming vicious black talons with soft black pads sprouting from each of his digits. Izuku’s legs morphed the most, the tarsi of his feet stretching with other bones changing to accommodate to create the digitigrade legs of a red kangaroo. In the end he looked much like a kangaroo would, however some human traits still bled through. His arms were longer than that of a kangaroo, though equally strong, and his torso (while padded like a kangaroos) more closely resembled a human’s. This allowing him to stand more upright like a human.

Black claws clicked on the companion cube as he leapt forward. He quickly picked up speed, the browns and greens of the woods blurring as they passed him by. His legs easily took to the familiar motion as he bound through the forest towards his unknown destination

Maybe humanity was kinder now than it was all those years ago. Hopefully humanity will be kinder to him than the machines were…

Maybe he will just hide in solitude for the rest of his life…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Possibility 1- picks up from intro starts at training camp

               After being released from the Aperture Labs Izuku spent days wandering the forest. He had traveled a fair distance from where he began, his kangaroo speed proving to be a boon in this situation.

               Izuku was also able to feed himself rather well as he hopped his way through the forest. Some of the test they had done when he was first taken taught him that he could live off a red kangaroo’s diet. So he had sustained himself on the forests plentiful vegetation options and insects. Despite not always being appetizing, they were a viable option.

               Izuku was snapped out of his musings when he saw a brilliant flash of blue appeared in the sky. Despite the thick canopy coverage, the light still bled through the leaves. Izuku’s ears perked straining to find any hints as to what was going on, but nothing stood out. That is until soon after the winds carried stench of burning wood.

               Izuku shot up, his feet no longer lying flat on the ground. He stood alert on his toe, the companions cube dropped unceremoniously to the ground. This was the stench of fire. Green eyes darted to the light shown in the sky. This was a blue fire, which was hardly a natural occurrence. There were PEOPLE nearby.

               Izuku snatched up his companion tying it to his back with his orange sweat jacket. He was ready to bolt when a thought shot through his head and straight to his heart. What if those people needed help?

He paused, slowly turning back to eye sky. That hardly looked like a controlled blaze. That could kill people. What if no one helps?

Izuku shifted his gaze back down to his paws. He can still see little peeps of healing pink scars on his forearms where he had particularly close brushes with turrets and other traps. No one ever really helped Izuku when he needed it, not until GLaDOS and Wheatley both helped him some down in the facility. Granted Wheatley betrayed him in the end, and GLaDOS started off wanting him dead (still probably wants him dead). What about the people there though? Did they have help? Were they hurt and alone like him?

Izuku clenched his fist, his green eyes becoming steely as he resigned himself to his decision.

               After getting closer to the source of the blaze Izuku had sought out higher ground to scope out the situation. He found a rather handy perch by way of a miniature rocky formation covered with trees upraised cave. His legs allowed him to easily climb to the top, but along the way he realized he wasn’t the only one there.

               As he reached the peak, he peeked over the other side and noticed a large blonde man in a black cloak towering over a little boy with black hair and a horned cap. Izuku felt a brief flash of giddy joy as he laid eyes on the first humans he had seen in a long time.

               That feeling quickly died when he realized he missed the tail end of what the man was saying to the boy. However, one thing was clear that little kid was scared. That fact became all the more obvious when Izuku heard the faint yet shrill cry of, “Papa… Mama..!”

               The look in that little boy’s eyes, the heart wrenching cry. It was all horribly familiar. For a split second Izuku remembered. He remembered white lab coats, looming figures, needles, bruises, and pain. He remembered his own voice calling out for a family he no longer had.

               The man suddenly shed his cloak. Thick snake like cords sprouted from the flesh his arm before adhering to it. It looked like he had coated his arm in muscle, and he used his new arm to punch a crater in the cliff before slowly approaching the trembling child before him. The boy’s joints seemed to lock up as the man prowled towards him. The corded arm raised high above the boy, the fist clenched menacingly. In response the little boy looked up tears still flowing and raised his tiny arms in defense. His hands clenched as sobs bubbled up.

               Something overtook Izuku in the moment. Something violent, and protective. He felt resolve. The same steely resolve that overtook him when he fired that portal at the moon and banished Wheatley to space.

               Before Izuku even knew what was happening he was lunging forward off the edge of the miniature cliff. His hind paws touched to the edge of the rocks as he launched himself forward, leaving cracks in the wall. He felt the companion cube fall out of its sling, but he hardly paid it any mind. He only took the briefest moments to discard the loose fluttering jacket.

Like a bird of prey Izuku descended upon the man, hind feet outstretched, and all claws flared wide. They were ready to taste blood. NO ONE was hurting that little boy on his watch.

In the instant before he impacted with the laughing man the little boys tear filled eyes flickered up and caught sight of him. Confusion warred with fear as he watched a green streak bear down on his aggressor. The blur barreled into the man so violently his face practically became one with the dirt and stone below it.

               Izuku bared his teeth savagely as he dug his claws in to the back of the man’s head. A warning for the man to stay down. His legs still planted firmly in his back, the claws on his hind legs carving matching rivets into the man’s flesh. The teen was more than aware the lethal power his kicks had.  Were this any normal human Izuku was certain he would be out for the count. However, as Izuku has now witnessed this man was no normal human. This man was strange like him, he had a quirk.

               Years at Aperture taught Izuku to be cautious. That is why before Izuku could feel the man rousing himself he was off like a shot. Furred paws outstretched to scoop up the child. The boy sputtered, “W-who are you?! Are you a hero?” There was silence as the boy struggled against Izuku’s arms, but his steel corded muscles didn’t even budge. The boy banged his fists against Izuku’s chest.

               Izuku remained silent, his vocal chords pulled taut and unable to work. He only crushed the boy to firmly to his chest before leaping forward. He snatched up the jacket that fluttered to the ground next to the boy just in time to hear the groans of the man pulling himself out of the crater Izuku so kindly made for him.

               “Oohh?” The man crooned behind them, causing the little boy to tense in his arms. “Does this brat want to play too?” A sinister laugh built in his throat as he watched the green creature with the boy in his arms jump over the edge of the cliff. The laughs chased them all the way down.

               In the brief moments they lay suspended in the air the little boy seemed to recollect himself. When he spoke his voice warbled with tears “What are you doing you i-idiot? He’s gonna kill you now too. Don’t be…Don’t be a hero like…”

               The boy was interrupted when Izuku hit the ground, the impact didn’t even make Izuku grunt. A measly fall like that had nothing on the almost 5000 meter he had back in the labs. He was off as soon as he had feet back on the ground.

Izuku took the time to shush the boy, “I-It’s ok. I’m-m h-here now.”

               Before Izuku could even break the tree line he felt a looming dread creep up behind him. The kid who had his head resting on Izuku’s shoulder opened his mouth to shout a warning. The warning swiftly became as Izuku whipped around dodging to the side as the mans fist burrowed through ground where he had just stood.

               For the first time Izuku got a good look at his face. Carved over the side of his face was a deep furrow and the eye that rested in that socket didn’t look right. Some blood was dripping down his face and back from where Izuku gouged him with his claws. The man seemed to take the time to swipe his eyes over Izuku as well.

               “Looks like I found another brat who isn’t on the list.” A sick grin twisted his face as he shot forward ready to take another swing. Izuku darted to the side again avoiding the man’s initial charge but was caught off guard when the man coated a second arm in those muscly cords and kept on him. The second arm came whistling through the air, and with only a split second to react Izuku tossed the boy away as the fist impacted with his stomach where the kid was previously resting.

               Izuku choked, it felt like he had been dropped stomach first on that 5000-meter fall. His naturally padded stomach absorbed some of the blow, but he still felt ribs creak and crack. The pain was doubled when his back crashed into a tree. The trunk splintered and left little shards of wood in his flesh.

               Izuku heard the boy cry out to him as he groaned and slid to the ground. The man howled with delight, “What was that you were saying little hero? ‘It’s ok?’.” He only shook his head as he turned to the little boy, fully intending to finish what he started. Only to be interrupted by Izuku once again. The teen appeared at his side, his trunk like tail rest on the ground as his feet reared back and unleashed a bone crunching blow to the man’s ribcage.

               Or at least it would have been bone crunching had the man not spread his quirk down his torso. The only reaction Izuku got was a slight grunt. Izuku saw the swing coming and raised a bracing arm before the man was back handing him across the grass. Izuku’s fur and clothes tugged painfully as they were drug across the ground, and his arm throbbed in time with his heartbeat.

               The man was upon him again. Placing his foot on Izuku’s chest and pushing, the pressure causing Izuku to writhe. More ribs groaned and fractured under the pressure. Internally his mind was racing. This mans quirk made him practically impervious to Izuku’s blows. What was he supposed to do? Panic was welling up in his system when the man began speaking again.

               “Nice try brat but it takes more than that to get me. I am Muscular”

Izuku, missing his actual meaning, had a moment to think, “I can see that?” Then Muscular began punctuating this sentence by stomping on Izuku. “I can see you want to play hero with me,” he chuckled grinding Izuku further into the soil and drawing some pained whimpers, “So why don’t you show me your blood.”

               The foot was drawn back ready to descend upon Izuku again when a small rock ricocheted off the back of the man’s head. Both Izuku and Muscular froze slowly turning their heads to look at the little boy. His eyes were overflowing as he stared at Izuku underneath the man. His tiny arm still outstretched from the throw.

               “Water Hose,” the little boy rumbled. He paused a moment before cutting his now hardened eyes up to Muscular. “Papa… Mama…” This made muscular pause, turning to completely face the boy as he finished by crying out, “Did you torture them like this! Before you killed them!”

               As the pressure eased up on his chest Izuku felt hazy. Black spots danced in his vision as he tried to heave himself up. The little boy’s eyes flickered over to him, the black tearful orbs pinched in misery. They were practically begging Izuku to run away. Izuku could vaguely hear Muscular taunting the boy. His heart wrenched when the man taunted the little boy over the murder of his parents who were heroes. The word hero was getting thrown around a lot and it only added more confusion to Izuku’s despair.

               Izuku shakily clawed to his feet. Muscular’s attention was back on the boy. Izuku had to stop him but how? All Izuku’s blows were absorbed. Punching him was about as futile as trying to kill Izuku by dropping from a large height. He was just built to take a hit. At this rate Izuku might have to use THAT, but he didn’t want to kill anyone. He didn’t want to be like those he had fought so hard to escape from…

               A spark of hope lit in Izuku his mind pulling pieces together. He had to stop trying to force a win with brute strength and start treating it like one of GLaDOS’s tests.

               In an instant Izuku was on Muscular. As the boy descended on him the man sang, “And here he comes again!”

Muscular turned to meet him, fist flashing out like a shot only to watch in wonder as one of Izuku’s hind feet met the blow, his other leg and tail braced on the ground, keeping him in place. The punch hardly even hurt as his leg absorbed the immense force the hit exuded. A wobbly smirk split Izuku’s muzzle. “I-I c-can take a-a hit t-t-to.”

               Izuku lunged forward fist cocked. Muscular saw this and laughed, clearly the kid didn’t learn his lesson. Muscular braced, waiting for the blow to glance off his veritable armor of flesh. At the last second Izuku changed tactics. His paw unclenched, fingers spread wide like a spider’s legs and claws prepped. Muscular realized his error too late, black claws raked across his face, one tearing out a hunk of meat on his cheek on the way out. The man howled, lashing out as he covered his now blinded eyes. Izuku merely danced out of the way. One hand clutched his aching ribs, the other shook the blood and flesh.

               The feeling of blood and the sound of the man’s cries made Izuku queasy, but he brushed that feeling aside so he could jump over the man and claim the kid once again.

               The boy stared up in awe as Izuku opened his arms and hugged to his chest again. This time when it happened the boy welcomed it, wrapping his arms around his savior and burying his face in the soft fluffy fur of his neck. Behind them Muscular rampaged and roared. His fists swinging wildly as he blindly searched for them.

               “I’LL KILL YOU! COME FACE ME YOU LITTLE BITCH!”

The little boy squeaked at the raw rage before him. The rabid man heard the sound and lunged toward the source. He only made it a few steps before Izuku whipped out a hand. A mantra of “Its for the boy, just use it, protect the kid,” bounced around in his head as he whispered, “Hold onto my neck.”

The kid quickly obliged. Just in time to watch the other hand to whip out and for them both to glow. One emitted a bright orange energy, that quickly shot to Muscular’s feet. Leaving a foggy, glowing, oval shaped mark at Muscular’s feet. The second glowed neon blue and quickly followed suit by shooting another burst of light that created a similar blue mark far up on the hill face where this all first began. Both marks were accompanied by a strange popping kind of sound. The second the blue connected with the cliff Muscular was falling through.

The kid gaped in shock at what he had just witnessed. This guy had 2 quirks! He opened his mouth to bombard the teen was questions but was cut off as those hands returned to him, the portals disappearing as his savior turned tail and burst through the tree line. The kid felt like he was riding a car on a highway the trees and underbrush were sailing by so quickly.

[dcarevu]

Batman TAS: Heart of Steel (Part 2)

“I do wish your toys wouldn’t play so roughly with you, Sir.”

Episode: 39 Robin: No Writer: Brynne Stephens (Brynne Chandler) Director: Kevin Altieri Animator: Sunrise Airdate: November 16, 1992 Grade: A

Picking up where we left off, and things don’t appear to be off to a stellar start. Batman escaping the grabber that is installed incredibly high up on the cave ceiling seems anti-climactic. Because after that, HARDAC just gives up. Batman starts to track its location, and it disconnects from his system, ending the moment. What the hell, HARDAC. Didn’t you just have control over everything? You couldn’t have locked Batman out entirely and prevented him from even getting that far? Luckily this segment ends with a pretty funny callback to Part 1 from Alfred, and from here things are awesome the entire way. I think that the cliffhanger last time was only there to be a cliffhanger and get ratings for Part 2. I guarantee it was an afterthought. But whatever, it’s out of the way, now let’s get to the good stuff!

The previous episode was used to set a lot of things up. It had some good moments, but they held off from showing us the major excitement. This episode flies by, and it feels like nonstop action with some of the best imagery we have yet to see. I’m so happy with how well they nailed the designs of a lot of these robots, and the concept was taken to its max potential. I love the way that the robots (disguised as people such as Bullock, Gordon, Mayor Hill, etc) move around, sometimes walking and talking just like you and me, but other times they leap and scuttle in a way that almost resembles the way the little girl moves in The Exorcist or like the girl from The Grudge. Paired with their glares and those piercing eyes, and it’s easily as creepy as anything on Courage the Cowardly Dog. The most disturbing moment is when one of the robots twists its head all over the place and then follows Batman up the elevator cable. It’s a moment of tension because we know the bot will grab Batman if he doesn’t hurry the hell up and solder through it. It’s a similar feeling to being followed and trying to quickly unlock a door. After Batman solders through, the elevator falls many floors and completely demolishes the robots that were onboard, and we get to see their mangled carcasses. Like with Captain Clown from The Last Laugh, robots give the writers a lot of fun opportunities for violence that is not typically permitted. There’s an earlier scene where a robotic Bullock is thrown onto the Bat-Signal where it gets electrocuted. We see a charge running through it, its hand twitches, and it loses its skin-like shell. Seeing how willing Batman was to deliver this type of punishment to Bullock was a little bit concerning, and we even see Barbara start to cry during the aftermath before they realize that it’s not really Bullock. Beautiful stuff!

During the climax we get a lot of this type of thing all shoved together into one scene. There are explosions galore (I sorta gave up on the fire count that we had going, but if I hadn’t, you’d better believe that this episode would count toward it), some twisted imagery in the form of seeing Bullock and Gordon suspended in a tank of water for observation, and Randa gets part of her face ripped off, revealing a metal skull underneath. It makes Batman jump in fear as he turns around and sees her. While one of Batman’s major talents is scaring the piss out of the criminals he fights, as we know from Scarecrow episodes, he himself is not immune to fear. It’s nice to see him expressing this emotion without the use of mysterious gas.

HARDAC’s motives were fleshed out a lot more, and they are a little cliché. Replacing all humans, eliminating man-made flaws, allowing the world to run smoother, yada yadda. We’ve heard this before. What I find more interesting is Karl Rossum’s role in all of this. What I gathered was that Rossum designed HARDAC to replace certain human-operated functions with robot-operated functions. For example, self-driving cars. He had a daughter that died in a car accident, and so he vowed to rid the world of the possibility of this happening to anyone else. Because he…for some reason…gave HARDAC a free-thinking mind, HARDAC decided to take this plan much further than intended, considering all humans a problem period. They’re too imperfect. Ironic, given HARDAC’s quick downfall, but hey, this is the 90’s. Technology has a long way to go. Anyway, Rossum’s motives are pretty vague, though, so I could be interpreting this wrong, but I like that there are a couple of ways to take it. I can see someone else going more literal and imagining that he wanted to replace drivers with robots, or even some of the more problematic citizens. Who knows. Interestingly, in Part 1, we see Randa using a self-driving car, which I just now remembered. I thought I remembered something too about Randa being modeled after his daughter, but they never mentioned this. Head-canon I guess. I have to ask, is Rossum innocent? He doesn’t seem to be in much trouble at the end, but we have no way of knowing how far he was going with this plan. Yeah, HARDAC went further, but that doesn’t mean that Rossum wasn’t trying to go further than most sane people would, you know? I have a feeling that we’ll never see him again and won’t have to worry about it, but Batman the Animated Series has this way of surprising me.

Barbara Gordon gets more time this half hour, and she’s so rad! Her voice actress (Melissa Gilbert) plays her so well, and combined with the lines, she sounds like she’s incredibly intelligent. How love how she talks to her stuffed bear when she’s by herself, but what she talks about is how she plans on breaking into Cybertron to rescue her father. It combines cute with badass and capable, and she seems to be a strong female role model that any kid could look up to. Not to say that I condone putting yourself into the kind of danger that she did, but hey. You know what I mean. Last episode she may have been an extension of Jim. This episode she broke out of that and felt like something entirely her own. You already know that I know, but for those who don’t know what’s coming (Char), hopefully we’ll see lots more of Barbara! She did mention how much she enjoyed getting in on the action, and Batman told her that she did an excellent job. If that doesn’t sound like a recurring character, I don’t know what does!

I don’t have too-too much more to say, but this episode was way better than I remember. So far, it may even be top ten material. Char loved it too. She said that she was happy that no one died in the end, but jesus, when Possum was fried by HARDAC’s laser, I thought he was going to be left a pile of ash. Never program a super-powerful, free-thinking computer to have weapons like that… You give it a will to be free and a way, what could go wrong?

Get a load of Gordon’s tall mustache. 

Some of the animation in this one reminds me of The Tick. It’s the line work as well as the eyes. I couldn’t find any info on who did the animation for The Tick, but could it have been Sunrise?

Jesus, he’s not dead? The intensity of HARDAC’s laser blast was shocking, and it looked soooo violent.

I keep seeing a smiley face on HARDAC’s light/eye/whatever. On purpose?

Basically what I see when I go to the dentist. What creepy lighting! I like how intimate this segment was.

It must be so therapeutic for Batman to get to beat the shit out of the fake Bullock, especially after this shit-eating grin. What a great face!

Bullock’s twitching hand was super gross. Anyone else agree that this is Sunrise’s best work on the show?

This robot almost looks zombie-like, which is fitting considering Bullock’s apparent demise. 

What happened to the batarangs, Batman? 

Even when dead, those red eyes stare in such a malicious way.

“Please let go of my cape.”

Is there any reason that these guy need to have light-up eyes like this? No! HARDAC clearly installed them just for the “Holy shit, what the hell is going on” factor. 

Yes, HARDAC, humans are so imperfect. Meanwhile one of your friends lets Bruce slip away like this. 

KILL IT. KILL IT. KILL IT. 

THANK YOU. 

These trashcan robots very much look like the robots from Castle in the Sky. 

Seeing them in this kind of danger is quite disturbing. As is the fact that a computer is keeping humans contained like this. 

Up until now, we’ve only seen Randa as a drop-dead gorgeous woman. We saw the twist coming, yet it’s still quite the surprise!

A really stupid moment in an otherwise amazing half hour. A makeup mirror deflecting a laser like that felt really implausible (yes, in the face of everything else), and it also seemed like a lame way to remind us that Barbara is, in fact, a woman. 

Batman panics as his head is about to be crushed by an elevator. Batman breaks a few times during Heart of Steel. He’s sure to experience some nightmares about computers.

Bob Hastings has a tremendously good moment as he calls out the name of Jim’s daughter, thinking she’s dead. 

Char’s grade: A Next time: If You’re So Smart, Why Aren’t You Rich?

Full episode list here!

[nuclear-reactions]

Hi! I love your writing so much! I don't know if I submitted this ask. So sorry if I did and forgot. Given Shaun somehow is able to "age" or progress as a person, could you write the different kinds of childhoods he'd have and what type of person he'd become based on the companion Sole raises him with. (And could I pretty please have a bonus where he's raised a little by everyone?)

(Thank you! Andyou’re fine, as long as you don’t spam me with a bunch of requestsyou don’t have to worry about resubmitting the occasional ask.Dogmeat and Codsworth excluded in the solo reactions)

It takes a villageto raise a child; Sole and their compatriots take this phrase maybe atad literally. On the bright side, Shaun has a deep, deep pool ofaunts and uncles to draw knowledge from on subjects he isn’t familiarwith. Danse and MacCready often fight over who should teach him toshoot (“I can hit a bloatfly from two miles out, I think I canteach a kid how to handle a gun.” “If he doesn’t plan on scoutingout sniper nests for a hour before every altercation, he’ll learnfrom me!”). Strong is the cause of his first broken bone when Shauntries to have an arm wrestling match. Curie is the one to set it andscold Strong. Cait and Hancock sneak him his first tastes of alcohol,each thinking they’re the only ones who do so. Cait in particular,after an intense round of day drinking, gives him an impromptu sex edlesson, and it’s an almost too honest -and descriptive- answer toShaun’s question of what sex was, not to mention quite different thanthe diagrams Curie showed him on reproductive organs. Piper isundoubtedly his best aunt, or at least, the closest thing to awell-rounded adult figure in his life. She’s usually the one he comesto with problems, and also dispels many of the myths Deacon handsdown (“No, you do not become a werebear if you eat charred yao guaimeat.”) Nick is more of the grandfather that knows card tricks.Codsworth is Codsworth, remaining the same mildly overbearing nannybot he’s always been. Preston never really gets the hang of him. Hetreats him a lot younger, being unsure what kids Shaun’s age are “into”. X6 isn’t the most helpful when it comes to rearing kids, andShaun only really turns to him when he wants brutal honesty.

Between the lot ofthem, Shaun ends up fairly well-rounded, with an…eclectic set ofskills, to say the least. He’s taught a little of everything. When itcomes time for him to leave the settlement, he leaves on dozens ofhandshakes and more than a few proud tears.

Danse- With Danse, he is groomed intothe picture of an army brat. It goes without saying that hisupbringing is strict, sometimes even a little harsh, but loving andfull of happy memories as well. Danse is not entirely warm, but then,he’s not entirely cold either. Sole never lets Danse treat Shaun toomuch like a Brotherhood initiate. They have to remind him now andthen that they’re not going to shoehorn their son into a militarycareer when he’s instructing him on the meticulous way a soldiershould make his bed in the mornings. He does learn a lot onmaintaining power armor and firearms, and leans more into becoming amechanic when he starts working. That, or following his father’sfootsteps into the Brotherhood (though he’s not popular, consideringDanse’s history with them). Making his father proud is tantamount inShaun’s mind, he pursues any life that would do just that. Danseraises him to be brave in the face of doubt, do what feels right, andto never let others decide your fate.

Hancock- Despitehis laz a fair approach to his own life, he does try to set Shaun ona better path than the one he ended up going down. He cleans up alittle, weans himself from the harder chems, and if he does keep afew habits, he doesn’t do them around the kid. He’s very much the “goask Sole” type of father, and Shaun gets away with a lot aroundhim. Just enough to be considered a mischievous kid and not adelinquent. He gets his first taste of beer early, his ownswitchblade, his own tricorn hat when he’s old enough it doesn’tslough off to one side of his head. Shaun adopts a lot of Hancock’svirtues, his self-confidence, loyalty, leadership skills, charm, butis taught to avoid many of his vices (which is mostly Sole’s doing).If he doesn’t end up taking up Hancock’s mantle of mayor, he likelyends up leader of a group like the Minutemen, leaving a string ofbroken hearts along the way of whatever path he treads. He’s acharmer, quick witted, and is taught to use his head above all- whichalso consists of keeping it clean. He doesn’t take up the casual chemuse that Hancock suffers from.

Deacon- Littlewhite lies are all Shaun is really allowed, yet he makes the best ofthem, and he develops a good poker face early on. Deacon is morehonest with Sole than anyone else, but first and foremost, he is apathological liar, prone to wild stories, and Shaun adopts that alittle too well. He impresses his school mates with all the storiesof his heroism, like the time he took down a radstag single-handed with nothing but a hunting knife. His tall tales either earn him agullible flock of followers or a beating from the kids smart enoughto see through his bravado. But he doesn’t just learn lying fromDeacon- he also learns compassion, fighting for what you think isright, protecting the people who are most vulnerable. And he is thesingle hardest kid to trick. He sees through deception just as easilyas he carries it out, so he quickly unravels most of the stories kidsget told (Sole has a nightmare of a time trying to convince him ofSanta Claus). His tendency towards “exaggeration” places him inthe position of a salesman later in life, hyping up his wares justenough that they seem shiny and appealing. If not that, then he’dfind himself with the Railroad, helping in whatever cause they followwhen the Institute is gone. Learning from Deacon’s mistakes, hebecomes an honest liar, easy going, and fights for the marginalized.

Piper- Havingmostly raised her little sister on her own, Piper sidles prettyeasily into the role of a mother, and his childhood is earnestlyclose to “normal” with her and Sole as parents. As normal asthings ever really got in the Commonwealth. He does, however, getinto scrapes in search of stories for Piper to cover. Being aninvestigative journalist is on par with being a spy in his mind-keeping your eyes and ears open, finding contacts, meeting in secret.He mostly grows out of this, but Piper still instills in him a loveof the written word and a desire to educate the Wastes on thingsbeyond the farms and cities they relegate themselves to. He takes totraveling at a young age, writing of his experiences in theCommonwealth and eventually, the rest of the ruins of the UnitedStates. If he doesn’t become a writer, he likely goes into lawenforcement, making sure (like Piper always taught him) that justicecomes to those who wrong others. He’s as silver tongued,compassionate, and as worldly as the woman who helps raise him.

Curie- She’slearning how to act human as much as Shaun is, so she mostly goeswith whatever Sole says when it comes to raising him. They knowbetter than she would; despite knowing how to keep kids healthy, shehad little experience with their emotional needs. Still, she does herbest. She reads him stories, partakes in nightly rituals like tuckinghim in and humming him to sleep, and when he’s too old for all that,she giddily encourages him in his studies. He learns more from herthan anything taught in school. She teaches him not only how to treatdisease, but passes on a genuine compassion and desire to help, tolearn, to make the Wastes a little better in some small capacity.When the time comes for him to strike out on his own, he travelsfurther than Curie ever has in search of knowledge, and exchanges theknowledge he brought from the Commowealth. He saves lives, being akind and caring figure all the while. He becomes everything Fathercould have been before he was twisted by the Institute.

Nick- Having arobot detective as a father is probably the coolest thing a childcould experience, and Shaun is in near constant awe of Nick. Nickhimself takes easily to being a dad and enjoys it. Shaun is his son,and really, with them both being synths cast from similar molds, itnever once felt like he wasn’t family. Having someone he could passthings on to… it was more than Nick had ever really hoped for. Hespends much of his childhood in the glow of the heart-shaped signoutside Valentine’s Detective Agency, reading through old case files,picking over evidence from new case files, and each case is a puzzlefor him to piece together. He grows up sharp and inquisitive, eagleeyed with a nose for lies. He also learns as much about synth’s innerworkings as he does humans. Nick needs the occasional tuneup whenSole isn’t around, so he helps now and then with the screws andpanels he can’t reach on his own. With this knowledge, if he doesn’tend up taking over the agency, he goes out to help runaway synthsstill wandering the Commonwealth, confused and with heads full ofmemories that aren’t their own. He grows to be perceptive, a naturalproblem solver, and sets the wrong things right wherever he goes.

Cait- Her biggestfear, besides sliding back into old habits, is becoming her parents.She does her damn best to be a good parent almost entirely out ofspite. Shaun is absolutely spoiled rotten. If Sole won’t give himsomething, he asks Caits, and nine times out of ten he gets what hewants. She’s as short tempered as she’s always been, yet for him, shekeeps it together. For him, she does better. She’s also wildlyprotective, and unsurprisingly, teaches him most problems can besolved with his fists. He’s reared knowing how to stick up forhimself, and the two of them spar a few times a week until he’s oldand skilled enough to actually beat her in a fight. By the time he’sready to leave home, there is no doubt in anyone’s minds that he’sbeen raised to take care of himself, whatever is thrown at him.Strength and fighting skills usually don’t amount to much more thanfalling in with a gang of raiders, but Shaun knows that’s not thelife either of his parents want, and the thrashing he would get ifCait knew he even considered it, so he goes into work as a bountyhunter, a body guard; anything that lets him both use his skills andsleep with an easy conscience. He’s a little wilder, a little louder,and grows up to be a fighter.

MacCready- Havingsome experience raising kids, he takes in Shaun without secondthought. Duncan has a big brother when he arrives in theCommonwealth, the two of them taking to each other almost right away.There’s hardly a day they’re separated, playing catch and shooting BBguns with their father. Shaun is protective and immensely proud ofhis younger sibling, and MacCready can finally loosen the tight griphe’d kept on his youngest son. He still keeps a watchful eye over thetwo of them, but he feels like, finally, there was someone he trustedimplicitly to keep Duncan safe. Of course, the more he gains, themore he fears losing, and he can sometimes be a bit harsh if eitherone of them do something dangerous. He couldn’t take losing them.This drives Shaun to leave at a fairly young age, learningMacCready’s stubbornness and the bravado of his youth, and Duncan isquick to follow. The two, having been taught to shoot guns beforethey could read (as well as stay out of the thick of fights) endup becoming a formidable pair of snipers. They know better than tojoin up with the Gunners or other mercenary gangs, instead becomingguns for hire. Freelance killers with a bit stricter moral codes thantheir father. If only a bit. He’s cunning, careful, and a hell of agood shot.

Preston- Being asyoung and new to parenthood as he is, he isn’t entirely prepared toraise a child who came to them fully formed. He’s anxious, alwaysconcerned he’s doing something wrong, but he does the things hisfather did for him. Teaches Shaun to shoot, the importance of a goodbook, that being kind is a reward in itself. He also teaches him thethings he had to learn for himself; that it’s fine to cry, to not beokay, to rely on others for strength when you feel like your own isfailing. Shaun’s childhood is as bumpy as any child’s is in theCommonwealth, but with Preston, there’s light even in the darkesttimes. He carries this indomitable sense of good and rightness withhim even when he’s grown, and if he doesn’t settle into a simplerlife in a settlement, he joins the Minutemen, carrying on the valueshe’s been taught. Preston teaches him the strength in community, thathope and mercy are not weakness, and to always lend a hand, whateverhe does.

X6-88- He hasspent more time with Shaun (this version and technically, the humanShaun as well) than Sole ever has, only, just not in any kind of parentalrole. He ferried him back and forth from the Institute and theCommonwealth and their relationship never went far past that. It wasstrange, suddenly being a role model for someone. Siblings, parents,family, they weren’t really an option for synths in the Institute.For Coursers, even less so. The first few years, he’s more of abodyguard than a parental figure. Learning to let go of the deathgrip he has on Institute protocol and the image of synths as tools,that takes awhile. Shaun helps. He loves him, which meant a synthlike X6 was capable of that. It was a comforting thought that one dayhe’d feel for Shaun what Shaun felt for him. He relies more on Solefor getting through the emotional turmoil of youth, as most of X6’sresponses to trivial things like school and first loves is fairlycold indifference. Not like he really understood it, he’d been madewithout thought for such things. He was still navigating some things(like first love) himself. What he does instruct Shaun in mostlypertains to combat, though he does teach him a skill that helped X6survive in the Institute- masking your true emotions. He’d have beenreprogrammed a long time ago if he hadn’t picked up that talent.Shaun grows up somewhat cold with him, making a habit of keepingthose pesky feelings to himself early on, to the point not even Solecan really coax them out of him. Not fully. As X6 learns how to bemore human, Shaun learns to be more machine. His nature andintelligence veer him, oddly enough, into politics. From X6 he learnscold calculation, the importance of keeping your cards close to yourchest, and that there’s little use for remorse.

Strong- Childhoodwith Strong being a co-parent is… weird. To say the least. Soledoes everything they can to keep him from feeding the kid human meat, eventhough he insists it will help Shaun grow big and strong, but now andthen there are a few bits of mystery meat sneaking their way into hismeals whose origins Sole couldn’t quite suss out. Regardless of hispotential foray into cannibalism, Shaun does, surprisingly, learn athing or two from his Super Mutant guardian. Mostly the things a mancan say that will make their fellow man spontaneously shitthemselves. More than a few scrapes with older children ends withShaun bellowing in his closest approximation of Strong; “THIS ISWHAT DEATH LOOKS LIKE UP CLOSE!” Despite Sole’s best efforts, Shauntakes after him, even beyond shouting his throat raw.Many arguments with him end in headbutts. He grows into a young manwho takes no shit from anyone, who understands brutality can be anecessity, and who fights with the feral tenacity of a mutie. Ignoring family protests, he goes into raiding (ever the lucrative business)and is renowned for his uncanny ability to shout down Super Mutantsbands that encroach on his band’s territory. That, or he’s a respectedfighter in the nearest Thorn. Sole might have more influence on hismorals, but Strong passes on the knowledge of Super Mutants. Whichisn’t much beyond violence and shouting. He grows up pretty confused.

[tinfoil-jones]

Motorcity: Legacy, Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Motorcity, or the song. Motorcity belongs to Disney, and the song belongs to Lordi Title: Burners Legacy Rating: T-M depending on chapter Summary: He didn’t want to be his carbon copy, but he might have to be in order to rescue him from Deluxe. Pairings: MikexChuck, DutchxTennie, ClairexFoxy, DukexBabs, Juliex?, OCxOC Warnings: Don’t read if you don’t like or are triggered by violence, death or dystopian societies Author’s Note: Some characters you like died.

~~~

Chapter 1: Blood Red Man

\They called me “The Leather Apron” They called me “Smiling Jack” They prayed to the heavens above That I would never ever come back

Can you hear how the children weep? Chills of fear like a sawblade cutting deep\

“You look so much like Mike.” Was something Mitch was told frequently throughout his life; and it was true. He was already taller than Mike at age seventeen, taking more after Chuck in that regard, his hair was the same thickness but a slightly lighter shade yet still dark brown, and his nose was long instead of broad and his cheekbones were set slightly lower. His eyebrows weren’t as thick as Mike’s, and he lacked the signature sideburns. But other than that, he was a dead ringer for Mike Chilton. And when he was younger he loved it; his father was a legend amongst Motorcity after all, and being seen as ‘just like him’ gave his younger self a false sense of pride. Back then, Mitch even had a very similar hairstyle with short, but straight hair and a cowlick at the center of the part.

Nowadays, he hated the comparison. Not because he hated his father, but because people always told him he looked just like him with such amazement as if he didn’t already know that because he was told it constantly. It irked him so much he spiked up his hair with copious amounts of gel just to create some differentiation between them. But that was after the incident.

Then the incident occured when he was fourteen.

The incident was called ‘Hellfire Rain’ and for good reason. It started out as a siege of the Cabler settlement, which wasn’t an unheard of event. Mitch was left at Jacobs place with his baby sister while it happened, and his parents in Mutt left to respond. The everything went wrong. A series of bombs were thrown around by the Kane Bots and one caused a large cable to fall down and explode, which destroyed about ten percent of the Cablers settlement.

The cable had fallen right next to Mutt and then exploded; Mike had survived, but was unconscious and then captured by Kane’s forces, Chuck was killed either by the explosion itself or the resulting fire, either way according Texas all that was left was a charred body. Mitch really hoped, in a morbid way, that it was the explosion that had killed him, because he didn’t want his dads last moments spent suffering by burning to death. Chuck wasn’t the only one to meet his demise at that initial battle either, as Tennie’s father perished as well when he was trapped behind rubble and suffocated on smoke.

That was just the start though, Kane forced were rejuvenated through the capture of Mike Chilton and decided to go after the rest of Motorcity while they were at it, and a series of raids and bombings followed. No one was untouched by the Hellfire Rain; all of the Burners allies were affected. The Duke had a portion of his dump incinerated during a raid, he and his daughter Dutchess and some of his goons managed to survive the war, but some of his goons were killed, including his late wife Babs.

The assault on the lower half of Detroit lasted for four months. Near the end, during a last stand where the remaining gangs rushed Kane’s forces and drove the bots back to Deluxe, Claire’s wife Foxy was killed when her vehicle was T-boned by a warpod. Claire was from then on absolutely done with Motorcity and stayed in Deluxe, forcing their son Teddy to stay there with her (although he did eventually run away and return to Motorcity).

After the Hellfire Rain incident, Mitch saw less and less of the original Burners; with Tennie’s father dead, Tennie had to take his place as the Cablers leader and Dutch stayed by his wife’s side and helped her take care of the settlement. Julie had somehow upgraded from intern to an executive in Kane Co and was practically second-in-command, which was unexpended but not entirely unpleasant because she would still not hesitate to rally to Motorcity’s defense even if she couldn’t carry on being a full time Burner. And of course he never saw Claire since as her amity towards Motorcity was so strong she couldn’t even go down there to drag her son back to Deluxe.

Currently, Mitch and most of the rest of the ‘new Burners’ reside at Jacobs place, which was being run by Texas, as Jacob was too sick and frail to do much anymore.

“Still bummed about yesterday?” His co-conspirator Miles suddenly asked, as he laid on the hood of his car Moonstruck, one arm behind his head and the other holding a book in front of his face which he was barely paying attention to. Inactive, Mitch had his jacket in his room and was wearing only the black turtleneck he usually wore under it, his black jeans, and his black sneakers with a blue and green stripe.

Miles was an older teen, about nineteen, who was tall but stood a few inches below him still. She had light brown hair pulled into a ponytail and bangs held in place with a red hair clip, her eyes were the same color of her hair and framed by wire-rimmed circular glasses. She usually wore a yellow-trimmed red leather jacket with the Burners emblem on the back, but now that they were in the garage she had it off; she otherwise wore a sleeveless white v-neck, black tights and red-and-yellow converse boots. She had a red-and-yellow gaping-maw facemask that she usually pulled up to her nose when she was riding, but now that she was idle she had it around her neck instead. Mile’s wasn’t like the other Burners in the sense that she had no connection to the former Burners, the only thing she had in common with them was that she had also been affected by Hellfire Rain, as her mother had died during one of the assaults.

“Go. Away.” Mitch muttered, after yesterday’s failure in rescuing his father from Kane Co he was in no mood to deal with anyone right now.

“Oh come on Mitch you’ve been on the same page for an hour.” Miles told him as she leant over the black hood of his car; Miles wasn’t as into cars as the rest of them, which is why she had a motorcycle called Prowler instead. He sighed and put his book down; she was right.

“I got him Miles, I actually got him out of suspension and ten feet away from that port but I still lost him.” He said “If it were the other way and dad was saving me we would have made it back.” Miles adjusted her glasses at his self doubt.

“You did your best,” she comforted “for gods sake you phased through that building for three hours looking for the specific room he was in.” For over a year ever since he got a firmer grasp on hacking Mitch had been scouring all the files and archives he could looking for some reference to a private cell of some kind, as Mike Chilton was not listed as an inmate at the maximum security prison in Deluxe. After a while, Mitch came to the conclusion that there was no way that Kane would have any file that could be exploited by cyberterrorists such as himself. So he figured he had to manually sweep the building. Mitch had to do back alley deals and even resorted to stealing to get the tech he needed; he managed to snag himself a wristband that allowed the user and any person they were touching to become intangible and invisible; but when it was shorted out at Kane Co, the program that provided this function was too corrupted to allow further use so he had to delete them.

“My best? What does my best matter if I couldn’t even save my father.”

“We’ll try again another day!” Miles insisted “You know that Kane won’t kill him.”

“I don’t care, I don’t care until he’s finally home safe.” Mitch shot back, then stood up and walked away, back to his room.

Or at least he would have if an excited squeal followed by a crash didn’t suddenly permeate the garage from the kitchen, followed by a deep encouraging yell. Rolling his eyes, Mitch went to the kitchen to find what he expected; a ramp formed by a wooden board propped on top of a large steel pot, and his baby sister Little T on the ground with a small scooter about a foot away. Little T was laughing at what must have been a ‘stunt’ and their caretaker Texas has standing by and above her laughing also. Texas had matured but only physically he no longer wore his racing jacket and wore a white tank top instead, and his hair was gay-streaked and a lot longer than it used to be, making him look almost like a past era metal head.

“Yeah that was awesome Little T! Let’s do it again!” Texas whooped and struck an action pose, and Little T immediately got back on her feet and reached for her scooter.

Mitch picked the toddler up and held her in front of him “I think four crashes in one day is enough,” he said, studying his baby sister for any abrasions or bruises. Little T pouted at her brothers fussing.

“Stwong!” She complained and held up her arms as if to flex but all there was was baby fat “Awesome!”

Little T’s actual name was Tory, and she looked more like Chuck but still managed to hold a heavy resemblance to Mike and by extension Mitch. She had shoulder length brown hair the same colour as Mike’s, and she had his nose also. She had fair skin though, with freckles, and blue eyes. At age three she didn’t have all of her teeth yet and had a fair few gaps here and there, but it made it look adorable when she smiled, and she always wore a black t-shirt that was too big for her with the sleeves and the stripe down the middle red, and brown shorts. Since she usually stayed at Jacobs place she usually didn’t wear shoes and just wore mismatched socks instead.

Surprisingly, her main caretaker besides Mitch was Texas and he doted on the toddler. At first, he was pretty lost and confused because he didn’t know the first thing about taking care of babies let alone a baby girl. And as with any female he couldn’t even initially remember her name and just called her ‘Little T’, as in Little Texas. And the nickname was well deserved because as she got older and more active she was practically just like Texas. It surprised and relieved Mitch to no end that her first word wasn’t Texas, because now that she could say it she shouted it as a ‘battle cry’ just like the man himself.

“Just practicing with scooters before we move her onto cars.” Texas said with a grin as he crossed his arm. Bless his soul he meant well and he loved her, but sometimes it’s like he didn’t understand just how fragile three-year-olds really were.

“That’s not for another thirteen years.” Mitch deadpanned and placed his baby sister on the counter, he reach into the drawer and put a bandage on her nose where there was a scratch.

“It’s never too early to start little dude! She’ll be out racing you before you know it.” Texas exclaimed. “You were her size not too long ago!” Mitch only rolled his eyes again.

“Nap time.” He said to his baby sister and held her again.

“Noooo! Nap bad!” She said and thrashed around.

“Too bad.” Mitch said and carried her to his room, where he placed her on the bed behind him as he sat at the edge of it. Luckily, unlike Texas, Little T was actually quite obedient and begrudgingly crossed her arms to curl up for her nap.

Of the people who lived here, Mitch had the cleanest room; he had a clear desk with all of the contents in the drawers, a twin-sized ‘bed’ in the corner which was a mattress propped on top of another mattress but it was still neatly made, a bookshelf full of hand-me-down books and a few figurines, a closet with no door, a chest in front of the foot of his bed, and a black stratocaster in a different corner next to a beat up and obviously scrapped amplifier.

“Mit?” She said, it was a nickname she had for him because she was too young to say his name without making it sound like ‘bitch’.

“Yes?” Mitch responded as he grabbed his jacket - his jacket was actually the same cadet jacket their father used to wear when he was in the Kane Co military, it was just dyed and customized; it was mainly dark blue, with bright green where the white used to be, the Burners logo was where the Kane Co symbol used to be, and the ‘K’ on the other side was changed into a ‘B’.  People used to think he would wear his father dark-blue-and-orange jacket, but out of respect for his fathers eventual return he kept it in the display case in the garage where it had been ever since Hellfire Rain.

“When daddy home?” She asked, playing with the cover on the pillow. Mitch froze. She didn’t remember their parents, as she’d only been six months old when that fateful day came. She was, however, well aware that Mike was alive, and was always assured that he would ‘come home soon’.

“He’s… going to come home soon.” Mitch promised hallowly and kissed her cheek. She didn’t pout this time because this was always the answer she got, and she just closed her eyes to sleep. Given that she’d been raised primarily by himself and Texas, she didn’t quite understand the significance of ‘daddy’, it was really more of a word to her. “Soon…” He repeated, he placed his hands on his knees as stared at them as he thought.

Maybe going it alone hadn’t been the best idea, but what other choice did he have? The invisibility/intangibility function was limited to the user and anyone he was touching. He couldn’t sweep through the building with four people hanging on him and each other, not quietly or quickly at least. The current Burners consisted of him, the leader and software specialist. Miles, the scout. Dana, the hardware mechanic/specialist. Kameron, the muscle and spy. And Teddy, the resident medic. No… they couldn’t have been as much help as a hindrance. Going through Kane Co undetected was a solo mission and he messed it up and it was his own fault. He should have saw Mike’s weakness early on, of course he was going to be slow he’d been in stasis for three years.

And why did he have to tell him the truth about his other dad…

Right then had been the worst possible time to tell Mike the truth about Chuck. Mitch should have just lied and told him the truth later, he should have put his honesty aside just long enough to get his father back in Motorcity.

Whoever said that lying was a sin really should have put situations like that into consideration.

Making sure Little T was asleep, Mitch reached between the mattresses and pulled out a ziplock baggie, inside of it was a worn out picture frame which he took out of the bag. At the bottom of the picture frame ‘Chilton Family’ was sloppily scrawled in marker, the ‘L’ had been left out initially on accident and added later. The picture was a black-and-white faded image from three and a half years ago; he was thirteen and small for his age, Mike was standing behind him with his hand on his shoulder and was looking lovingly to the side at Chuck, who was a holding a just recently born and swaddled Little T. 

He gritted his teeth as he looked at the picture, and twin trail of tears ran down his face.

—

Julie stood by her father with her arms behind her back, staying quiet as her father was yelling; the now elderly ruler of Detroit Deluxe was pacing back and forth in behind his desk; in front of the desk were some of his other executives, Admirable Gordy of the military, and his ‘private contractor’, Red. Behind her was her son Kameron the ‘intern’, in his Deluxe issued clothing and holding the same pose as her. Unlike her, Kameron could not lie about his parentage, because he looked as much like her as Mitch did to Mike; he had the same rounded cheeks that she did but he had a squarer, more prominent jaw, and his eyes were a darker shade of brown, but he had the same dark red, smooth hair just in a short style. However, since there was still a small amount of people who knew that Julie was Kane’s heir, there was no reason at the time to lie about Kameron.

Red was knelt on the ground as he listened to the ranting of his boss and employer; Julie always felt a special contempt for the man; almost three decades and he still couldn’t let his hatred for Mike go and still worked on behalf of Kane, even though that meant he was a menace to his original home of Motorcity. Ever since Mike had been captured he’d been more mellow than he once was, but he was still twitchty. No doubt just wanting Mike dead instead of in stasis.

“I can’t believe Chilton almost escaped!”  Abraham Kane barked; he was past his seventies but due to the extended lifespan typical of Deluxe he was still strong and lively for his age, he hadn’t lost any muscle mass and the only thing different between him now and him when Julie was a teenager was that his hair was mostly white. “I thought the Burners were disbanded!”

“It appears these are new Burners, sir.” Red replied; Red had present during the initial Hellfire Rain attack that had Mike captured and Chuck killed, he’d sustained enough damage that his vocal chords were burnt by inhaling burning fumes and he had to be fitted with a mechanical voice module, which rendered his voice completely robotic.

“That Burner was nothing short of a clone,” Kane pointed out crossly; Julie knew that her father didn’t want a repeat of Mike “he looks like Chilton spat him out.”

The head scientist of Kane Co’s tech department was fiddling around with a projection screen, he appeared to be hacking into some files from Motorcity “It appears this boy is Mike Chiltons son; Mitchell Chilton. He’s seventeen years old.” He explained. Julie had to keep back a flinch at the previously unknown information about the existence Mitchell, but the hospital files in Motorcity weren’t as strongly protected as they would be in Deluxe and comparatively easy to hack.

“Another Chilton?!” Kane groaned in frustration and pinched the skin between his eyes.

“With him in the Burners it wouldn’t be far fetched that these other new Burners are also children of their predecessors.” The head of the tech department said; Julie saw a worried look briefly flash in Admirable Gordy’s eyes; his niece Dana was one of those new Burners.

“This is ridiculous, those Burners have been out of my hair for three years and they shoot up out of the ground like a ragweed by breeding like rats?” Kane inquired angrily, then looked down at Red, pointing at him “I want you to go down to that sewer and gather information on these new Burners.” Kameron, a Burner, was beginning to look uncomfortable as well.

“What kind of information are you looking for, sir?” Red asked, looking up at him from the ground; Julie imagined there was a smug look behind that visor.

“Whatever information it takes to end the Burners once for all.”

—

“That was a bunch of bull.”

“Language, Kameron.” Julie chided her son.

“But it was.” He said, looking down at her slightly; Kameron, being eighteen, was one of the oldest new Burners save for Miles who was nineteen, putting him in a slightly different position than she had been when she was a young Burner, even though he was also a spy. “Why don’t we just… you know.” Julie automatically elbowed him hard in the side which made the boy yelp a little “Oh come on! It’s not that much different than waiting for him to die, which could take thirty more years.” Kameron was adored by his grandfather, naturally, but Kameron believed in the liberation of Motorcity so much that unlike Julie, he thought it was best to just kill Kane.

“You don’t mean that and you know it, Kameron,” Julie tugged the younger redhead down slightly by the ear “you talk like that but we both know you’re not capable of that. And he’s your grandfather.”

“He’s evil.”

“Not entirely.” Julie insisted and let go of the boys ear, which he rubbed to relieve the soreness “If you were to… kill him, that wouldn’t make you any better than you think he is. And no one would rally to either yours or my own leadership if we usurped power instead of legally inheriting it, which is what we are going to do. Now, go to your room.” Hands up defensively, Kameron scrambled to where his room was, but no doubt he wouldn’t be there very long and would go to Motorcity within the hour.

Only two other executives knew that Julie was the heir to Kane Corporation, and by extension, Deluxe; the remaining original Burners still didn’t know. Her son Kameron was also sworn into secrecy, for his own safety. There were plenty of people willing to hurt Kane by any means, even if it meant going after someone who was on Motorcities side.

Julie sighed and headed to her office to ponder on what was said during the meeting; her father saw Mitchell and all he saw was another Mike, but that wasn’t the case. Kane was expecting another Mike Chilton and that was the mindset he was staying with; this put the actual Mike Chilton at risk of being terminated early just to kill Mitchell’s resolve.

Julie wanted very badly to save her friend from stasis herself, but there were some secrets Kane wouldn’t give even to her and that was one of them. He was the only one who knew were Mike was currently being held and he never put it on file, keeping that information to himself instead, the one place that could not be hacked. And as often as the blueprints for the building were updated there were so many changes so often it was impossible to saw where Mike’s pod was being kept, and she looked often but still found nothing. Mitchell had chanced it by manually phasing through walls. At this rate it might actually take until her father died of natural causes before she would know.

She had to passively stand by as she watched her old friend get arrested in front of the closed off ports, as he was dragged back into the building, and given another grandiose speech from Kane about how his time was over, and he didn’t even fight it as he was shoved into a new pod that would soon after be moved into an undisclosed location; her old friend had looked at her, and only nodded, as if to acknowledge that he knew that she had no choice.

In her office, she closed and locked the door; on her desk there was a projected image in one corner of her holding an toddler Kameron, and Claire with an infant Teddy. Time sure did go by quickly, at this point she’d really hoped her father would have accepted letting Motorcity exist autonomously, but of course he didn’t. He wanted to control everything. She sat down at her desk chair; she would always love her father, and would always believe he had good in him, for she’d seen it before and so had Kameron.

Sometimes though, she wondered if it was selfish of her to covet her father’s life at the expense of others…

Foxy, Chuck, Tennie’s father, Babs, and Tooley for example…

Her communicator started to beep and she made sure her door was locked before answering; a pixelated head icon of Mitchell appeared.

“Hello Mitchell.” Julie greeted with a bittersweet smile.

“Kam just called me and said something big went down at Kane Co, should I be concerned?” The head icon asked.

“Maybe just a little bit…” The executive began “Kane just sent Red down to Motorcity.”

“Red? Isn’t he satisfied enough?” Julie could hear the teen huff “My fathers already on ice what more does he want?”

“I’m afraid he and Kane are just a little bit…” Oh dear, how does one properly explain the ‘sins of the father’ trope? “…Off-put by your appearance, because, well…”

“Because I look a lot like my dad?”

“Mitchell.”

“…Because I look almost exactly like him?”

“Yes.” She confirmed “I’m going to send you specs of Red’s suit and warpod so you know what kind of weaponry your dealing with. Red’s old, but he’s no pushover.”

“Roger that boss.” Mitchell said “Can you queue that for an hour from now?”

“Why?”

“I have to clear some space on my hard-drive first.”

“It’s not that big of a file.”

“I know but…” He paused “My drives still kind of fuzzy since it shorted out, I need to do another scan to make sure any new files won’t be corrupted.”

“Alright Mitchell, and please keep an eye on Kameron when he gets down there.”

“No problem.”

—

Mitch hadn’t been lying when he said he drive had been fuzzy when it shorted out; but he’d fixed his wristwatch - the incident where it shorted out taught him a lesson he’d been told of but never realized the importance of until he failed in rescuing his dad.

Always have a your files back up.

That was something his late father always told him, but he didn’t quite grasp just how important that software concept was; some tech he was. No matter, he understood that now. He would still mainly use his wristband, but he had just finished syncing it to a chip; the chip was small, tiny even, but it was capable of all of the functions his wristband was; it had immediate access to his data cache and would have all of the applications of his wristband automatically downloaded to it meaning it would hold the same functions even if his wristband shorted out.

However, it was just a chip and needed some kind of carrier and external user that would allow it to carry out these functions.

And it was making him nervous, because he knew exactly what that ‘carrier’ was going to be.

Mitchell grabbed a bottle of lidocaine; a local anesthetic. Something Teddy used for minor treatments like stitches, but today he was using it topically. He grabbed an eyedropper and sucked up from the solution before dripping about two drops into his right eye, and blinked a few times until he was sure his eye was numb. He then grabbed a tiny fork-like spreader and used it to keep his right eye from blinking anymore once he was sure his eyeball was numb.

He grabbed a cloth and place it between his teeth to bite down on.

He grabbed the chip and began pressing it against his eyeball until the retina gave and allowed the chip to slip right inside. Both of his eyes teared up because the solution had been topical and only numbed the outside of his eyeball and not the inside, but he continued pushing it inside of his eye with a now trembling finger

And once it was right where he wanted it, he howled in pain; making the cloth fall out of his mouth.

—

Texas was in the living room with Little T “You can do it Little T,” he whooped at the toddler; she was standing on top of the TV “on the count of three jump off and do a backflip onto the couch!” He cheered, she nodded excitedly with a gappy grin as she prepared a dismount.

“AAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!”

The scream startled them both; Little T fell off the TV onto the floor, thankfully onto one of the cushions Texas had surrounded the TV stand with. Texas blinked in confusion and looked over to where the sound had originated.

“…Chuck?” He inquired; that sounded exactly like how Chuck screamed alright, he’d recognize that lady-like scream anywhere.

“Fun!” Little T babbled and laughed as she stumbled over to him, grabbing his leg with a giggle, Texas picked her up and held her under his arm as he went over to the noise to investigate the sound; he down the hallway and could hear the still continuing scream behind Mitch’s door, so he took the only action that made sense to him.

He kicked Mitch’s door down “TEXAS!” He hollered “I HEARD YOU SCREAM ARE YOU OKAY MITCH?” He yelled, seeing Mitch hunched over his desk in agony.

The teen turned around; his hand was covering the right side of his face and he was still mostly hunched over and has his head hanging. The brunet stumbled over, almost tripping a few times until he was by Texas and was gripping his shoulder seemingly for support.

“Mitch?” Texas inquired.

“01000110 01110101 01100011 01101011 (1).” Mitch groaned in agony; why he repeated ones and zeroes Texas had no clue other than it was the geek language that Chuck had taught the teen.

Little T laughed at her brothers pain and suffering “Bruber a sissy!” She mocked.

“Mitch?” Texas repeated, more sternly as he grabbed the teens shoulder with his free hand.

Rather than whimper Mitch looked up with a pained looking grin “H-Hold on.” He croaked as he pulled his hand off of his eye.

His right eye went from dark brown to green with a circuit pattern and a green comm screen was projected right from his eye.

“What the-” Texas had pause himself at just how awesome that was “dude can you shoot out laser beams?”

“Maybe later.” Mitch said as he straightened out and tested out the comm screen; he pressed a few areas on the screen and files streamed right in like a normal comm screen. “It worked!” The more apparent advantage of an comm screen out of the eye was that he could interact with the screen with both hands instead of just one like people who had their projection screens mounted on or implanted in a wrist.

“What did you do?” Texas asked; usually techno stuff like that didn’t impress him too much the the kid just summoned a comm screen from his eyeball.

“I inserted a chip into my eye; it connected itself to the electrical impulses in the nerves of my eye and is connected to my brain now.” Mitch explained, but Texas only paid attention to the first part.

The kid just shoved a chip into his eyeball - that was so goddamn /metal/.

“Dude that’s so metal!” Texas shouted.

“Mefal!” Little T tried to repeat, and clapped her hands excitedly; she didn’t understand much besides that it was apparently awesome.

Mitch breathed it deeply and tried to focus; the chip was controlled by his brain, but the impulses needed to activate it he needed to practice with, he’d summoned the screen but he needed to retract it now. He blinked a few times and focused hard, and the screen went away; his eye turned it’s natural dark brown color again.

“Duuuude you should put a laser function on that chip.” Texas said, putting his free arm around Mitchell best he could with their height difference.

“I’ll download the application later.” Mitch said, panting slightly at the pain in his eye he still had. “But I have to wait until Julie sends me another file.”

“What file?”

Mitch pulled back a little with a frown “…Red’s back.” and as expected, Texas flipped out.

“THAT GUY AGAIN?! FOOL ME ONCE SHAME ON YOU SHAME ON YOU, FOOL ME TWICE SHAME ON ME, FOOL ME THREE TIMES I BRING MY CAR, FOOL ME FOUR TIMES AND I.. I… TEXAS DOESN’T KNOW WHAT HE’LL DO BUT ITS NOT GOING TO BE PRETTY.” To augment her caretakers point, Little T did the punching the hand thing to symbolize a beating.

“Calm down uncle Tex, it’s going to be fine. He doesn’t want to fight us, I think…” Mitch hummed and pondered, putting his hand in his chin “…I think he’s just trying to study us.”

“NO ONE STUDIES UNDER TEXAS’S WATCH!” The stronghorn driver yelled and stormed out of the room.

“Texas wait!” Mitch said as he followed the older.

“TEXAS IS GOING TO FIND RED AND MAKE HIM REGRET EVERYTHING.”

“FINE JUST PUT MY SISTER DOWN SHE ISN’T GOING WITH YOU ARE YOU CRAZY.”

—

“I can’t believe you of all people would do something so reckless - it’s all fun and games until you get a vitreous hemorrhage - the fact you didn’t shocks and confuses me.” Teddy told him he as he dripped a drop of antibiotic eye drops into Mitch’s eye.

“I know.” Mitch agreed with a little bit of a guilty saw; with his left eye he watched Little T start climbing Teddy’s cabinet, no bout after his jar full of lollipops. “But, what’s the damage, doc?” He asked.

“Amazingly just a tear in the cornea - seriously Mitch one wrong move and you could have made yourself blind.” Teddy took out a roll of gauze and an eye pad; he put the pad over Mitch’s eye and secured it there with medical tape.

“Teddy I need to use the chip.”

“Not until that corneal tear is healed.” Teddy stated simply, but firmly, to further his point he diagonally wrapped gauze around his head, covering the eye and eye pad. “Keep that there for three days, no excuses. Also, let me look at that periodically; your body might have a immune response to a foreign body like that, or infections - did you even sterilize that thing?”

“Of course I did!” Mitch waved his concern.

Teddy was the resident medic of the Burners, and son of Claire and Foxy. About a year ago he ran away from home and down to Motorcity, as Claire had kept him away from the city ever since his other mother died. Teddy heavily resembled Claire; having the same skin, eye and hair color and even the same hairline he just kept his hair close-cropped. However, his angular, pointed face shape and nose shape came from his other mother Foxy. Teddy was the only Burner who wore Deluxe style clothing; He wore a white hoodie with a light blue burner symbol in the front, and light blue pants with white stripes down the sides, and white-and-light-blue sneakers. The older teen explained that it was to stick it to Kane more, but Mitch didn’t quite follow his train of thought there. He also had a pair of lab goggles that he usually let hand around his neck but since he was treating a patient he had them up over his eyes.

Teddy was a passive Burner in comparison to the others; he usually stayed at Jacobs place and operated almost entirely as support; his vehicle, Sunback, was actually a modified ambulance with a tractor plow in the front and monster truck wheels. He only came on the scene if there was a medical emergency in which he would put patients in his vehicle and tow their vehicle. Teddy was, what his late father would describe of as ‘a healer and tank’. Teddy’s medical knowledge came from being a academic prodigy in Deluxe; he graduate early and trained as a paramedic, although he wasn’t there long enough to make it to full paramedic and instead was a certified Advanced Emergency Medical Technician, an AEMT which was between EMT and paramedic.

Little T was now on top of the cabinet and was helping herself to some of the brightly colored lollipops in the jar; it was a really good thing the medic had recently moved his bowl of complimentary condoms somewhere else.

“Now, change your bandages every day for the next three days,” Teddy continued to advise, not noticing the toddler on his work cabinet “I’d advise taking it off right before going into the shower, and afterwords put only one drop of the antibiotic on it before putting on new bandages.”

“That’s enough suckers for now, Little T.” Mitch deadpanned to his sister; Teddy finally turned around, then stiffened up and threw his arms up in exasperation.

“Little T! Not again!” He exclaimed and walked over; the toddler squeaked and slid down the cabinet with the jar tucked under one her arms and ran off; Teddy chasing her.

Being a teen ‘parent’ wasn’t easy, but it sure could be amusing sometimes.

His wristband pinged with an oncoming message; he pressed a button and a head icon of Texas appeared. “Hey unc-”

“I NEED BACK UP.” Mitch cringed and drew his wrist back to save his ears. Then he could hear what sounded like energy blasts and crashing.

“I’m on my way,” Mitch told the older Burner as he started rushing towards Moonstruck; Miles was still in the garage, but there was no sign of Dana or Kam yet “I’m going to lock on your coordinates alright? We’ll be right there.” The head icon of his caretaker disappeared “Look sharp Miles we have a mission.” He shouted to his co-conspirator as she looked at him confused “Just follow me, I’ll fill you in on the details!” The older teen nodded, pulled her face mask up to her nose, threw her leather jacket back on and jumped on her red motorcycle, which made a puma-like roar as it sprang back to life.

Hopping into his vehicle, Mitch reached into the center console and pulled out an old, warn skull module and popped it on top of the stick shift, waking Moonstruck up with a howl-like rev of the engine.

With his car awake and sharp, he raced out of the garage and attempted making a call to the rest of his team, but only Teddy and Miles would answer.

“What just happened guys?” The blocky head icon of Teddy ask, the familiar sound of Little T giggling was in the background, meaning the medic must have caught her.

“Texas sent out a distress call, he didn’t say what it was but it sounded serious, you know he’s not the type to request backup.”

“Have you picked up on his location Mitch?” The head icon of Miles asked; the brunet checked his screen and struggled to watch both the road and his console screen with only his left eye “He’s about five blocks away, I’m going to patch you the coordinates.” He said and had the coordinates of the destination sent to both of the other Burners.

“Received.” Miles said, and her head icon disappeared as she rushed ahead to the destination; Miles served as a scout because of her vehicle being a motorcycle she could get to a destination much faster than the other Burners and could drive through tight fits a regular car couldn’t. What she lacked in armor and size she made up for in speed and maneuverability.

“Ping me if anyone gets hurt.” Teddy instructed.

“Course.” The younger Burner agreed and shut off the call with Teddy but kept Mile’s line open, when he was three block en route he put Miles back on speaker “Mile’s I need a status report.”

“Almost there-” A gasp and the sound of a energy blast of some kind “Kane Co warpod.”

“Is it red?”

“Yeah.” He heard the older teen curse under her breath and what had to be her wheels skidding on the rough pavement.

“Do you see Texas?”

“Hold on - um- wait, I see Stronghorn, it’s, parked?” She managed to stammer between skidding and energy blasts. Mitch attempted a call to Texas but it just continues to ring, which shouldn’t happen because any driver can answer a call while driving since their communication lines were synced to the cars themselves. This meant that Texas wasn’t in his car.

Mitch took a sharp turn, running a red light but he didn’t really care because this was Motorcity after all “Is there an alleyway there?”

“Two, why?”

He didn’t answer; he connected wirelessly to the warpods communicator but also accessed the data cache “The warpod is acting remotely,” he told the older teen “it’s motion activated, if you /stop moving/ it will stop firing. Just stop riding, now.”

“Mitch-”

“Just do it, Miles, I’ll be right there.” He commanded and pulled up near the area, but not in proximity of the warpods range, which was actually rather limited compared to most warpods, must have been an older model.  Making sure his weapon was calibrated, he pulled the skull module out of the stick shift and ran out of Moonstruck - he saw Miles in the area in front of the sinister-looked warpod, she was behind a car overturned on it’s side and had Prowler stationed right next to her.

He ran over and crouched next to her “What happened to your eye?” Was the first thing she asked.

“Just a scratched eye, doctors orders - listen, no ones in the Warpod or Stronghorn.”

“Then where’s Texas and Red?”

“They’re going hand-to-hand - I’ll look in the alley to the left and you look to the alley on the right. If you find nothing, come into the alley I went into, and vice versa.” He instructed, then peeked over the car slowly as not to activate the motion sensing weapons.

She nodded and adjusted her glasses, and got up, running might next to the weapon and having to dodge a few blasts on foot before making it into the alley. Mitch sighed deeply and slightly anxiously because he was going to have to do the same thing just on the other side of. He really hated being a rebel leader sometimes. Sucking in one last breath and holding it in, he ran out from behind the car and made a beeline to the alley, twisting out of the way of oncoming blasts and missing the shots by what had to be pure luck until he finally made it the the alley.

He heard a harsh exchange of words and ran further down the alley until he came to the end of the alley.

Texas was on the ground, on his knees clutching his arm with his other arm reaching around to hold what had to be a wound and was facing Mitch, but in front of him stood a man clad in telltale red lighted armor, and with his back turned to Mitch as he towered over the incapacitated Texas.

Texas tilted his head slightly to look up at Mitch, but this was a bad move because it indirectly signalled to Red that someone was there and the old enemy turned the hell to face Mitch.

Mitch pressed a button on his wristband to ping a medical distress call to Teddy.

“Well, well,” Red said in a robotic voice “if it isn’t the discount Mike Chilton I’ve heard so much about.” He said mockingly, circling slightly, Mitch circled back and kept his weapon hidden but ready “Didn’t your dad ever tell you not to poke your eye out?”

“What do you want, Red, my dads already in prison what more do you want?”

Red shrugged nonchalantly, which infuriated Mitch “Honestly I was fine with Chilton in jail, although I’d really prefer dead. But the big boss is concerned about his clone running around - I thought he was exaggerating your resemblance but now that I’m seeing you in person I have to say, it’s no lie. My eyes are bleeding just looking at you. I’m guessing that’s what happened to you?”

Angrily Mitch made a step towards the armoured man, who brought his fists up, they lit up and sparked in some kind bright red energy. They held an angry stare - well, Mitch held up an angry stare at least, he had to guess that there was an angry or mocking stare behind that visor.

“Go home kid,” Red mocked “I’m interested in Mike Chilton - not some wannabe clone who thinks he’ll ever live up to him.” This enraged Mitch to the point of boiling over and he charged at red with this hand fist going up as if to punch him; out of his wristband an energy-based spinning saw blade sprang out. Red just stood there until Mitchell was close enough, then ducked under him, grabbing his wrists.

“Argh-” Mitch gasped as the red energy tased him, but it was only a minor taze but enough to short out his wristband and deter him for a second, a second was all that Red needed to use the hold he had on his wrists to slam and pin him against the wall.

“Pathetic,” Red spat, laughing menacingly behind his visor. Mitch saw Miles running towards them from the entrance of the alleyway, Red turned to her slightly “STOP.” He bellowed, then placed one hand over Mitch’s chest, effectively stopping Miles “One more step and the kids getting his heart jump-ended.” Speaking of Mitch’s heart, it was absolutely pounding; how did this mission go so wrong?

Miles put her hands up in a defensive pause; the female Burner unfortunately did not have a long ranged weapon and couldn’t attack Red from the distance she was at.

Red turned back to Mitch, who he had was pressing against the wall with the type of force Mitch wouldn’t be able to outmuscle “Now,” he said “where were we? Oh that’s right; I don’t know why Kane even bothers with a baby-faced punk like yourself. You’re no Mike Chilton. Your father would have had me beat by now but look where you are,” Mitch grimaced at the comparison “yeah, you’re definitely no Mike Chilton.”

Mitch began to shake - but not in fear, he was angry. He was tired of this, he entire life he’d been compared to his father, not just because of their actual blood relation but because of how he looked and it was bad enough to get it from other Motorcitizens but now Kane and his goons were going to stick to that rhetoric like flies on shit?

“Bitch,” Mitch swore, which seemed to catch Red just a little off guard “my name is Mitchell.”  

He headbutted Red as hard he possibly could. It made stars dance in his vision but it was effective in getting the mercenary off of him.

And then suddenly Sunback came careening into the alleyway and slammed into Red; the hired gun was sent flying into the opposite wall of the alley; he was rendered unconscious, but alive, in a pile of old boxes and bottles.

Teddy jumped out “Get in!” He shouted, then fireman-carried Texas into the back of his vehicle, not questioning his orders Miles walked over and put Mitch’s arm over his shoulder, helping the now vertigoed Burner into the back of the ambulance as well. When everyone was secured into the back of the modified ambulance, Teddy drove out of the alley with a shriek from his tires, and headed back in the direction of their headquarters, getting an electronic tow-line on Moonstruck, Prowler and Stronghorn on the way.

“Are you okay Mitch?” Miles asked her friend as he sat wedged between her and Texas at the ambulatory-patient bench in the back of Sunback, he held his throbbing forehead in his hand, squeezing both of his eyes shut hard in an attempt to alleviate the pain. It didn’t work.

“…That really hurt.” He finally said, and she sighed in relief.

“Texas is fine by the way,” The Burners caretaker said from the other side of Mitch, which made Miles chuckle a little bit.

///

“You got such a knack for hurting yourself, I was wondering where your sister got it from I used to think it was from Texas but it must be genetic.” Teddy ranted as he shined his penlight into one of Mitch’s eyes and then the other one, he had taken the eyepad and bandages off of Mitch’s right eye so he could check both of them. They were back at the garage, and he was in Teddy’s workstation getting looked over. Texas was passed out in one of the cots, Teddy explained that he had no external signs of damage, meaning he must have been tased over and over instead “Okay… pupils equal round reactive to light.” He rambled “You shouldn’t have any real head trauma, but you’re going to have a killer headache.” The shorter teen put his penlight away and produced two tablets and a glass of water “This should help with the pain a little.”

“Thanks Teddy.” Mitch thanked, and knocked the pills back with a grimace. His little sister was ‘seated’ next to him in the doctor’s chair, and was bent on chewing on his arm and hand which he didn’t mind too much because at least she was distracted from doing anything destructive or harassing Texas. “I have a feeling Red isn’t done with us just yet, his mission is to study us and well, he’s already met me and Miles. This is far from over.” He told Teddy, who was nodding, still listening as he jotted down notes.

“Red bad?” Little T babbled, summarizing what what being said around her. He put an arm around her tiny frame, and she held his large hand in her two tiny ones but only to continue to gnaw on it.

“Red bad.” Mitch confirmed.

/Once again there is pain I bring flames, I bring cold I’m the Blood Red Sandman coming home On this unholy night I will make you my own Blood Red Sandman Coming home again I’m coming home again/

TO BE CONTINUED…

Authors note: Song is ‘Blood Red Sandman’ by Lordi. Cars revealed; Moonstruck= Wolf motif, black. Prowler= Cheetah motif, red. Sunback = Honey badger motif, cyan.

(1) He’s speaking binary, which translates to “Fuck”.

[kateofthecanals]

For The (Not)Watch: Episode 7.5

Disclaimer: All Episodes Named After Locations Will Not Actually Show That Location Until The Last 5 Minutes

I’m tired.

So we open right where we left off last week, with Bronn MIRACULOUSLY saving a fully-armored Jaime from the abyss-like depths of that nearby puddle. No one else from Dany’s side thought to jump in and retrieve them either -- a dead or captured Lannister would have been hella good leverage for Dany buuuuut as we will see in just a few minutes, that’s not how she operates...

Anyhoo, Jaime and Bronn then spend the next 10 minutes or so talking about what a dumbass Jaime is (time well spent) and Bronn’s like FUCK IT I’M OUT cuz dragons are the dealbreaker.

Meanwhile, Tyrion accidentally wanders onto the set of Glory and has totes sadface seeing the charred remains of his kinsmen (apparently that’s a thing again). Dany has the survivors all brought before her and gives a speech that basically amounts to: “I know Cersei told you I would do this, and I totally just did, but I am not here to murder you... except for that one time about 5 minutes ago when I did... anyway, join me or die. But again, totally not here to murder you.” Randyll Tarly’s like “nah” and Dany’s like “I respect that. Now come over here and let me roast you alive instead of giving you a clean death befitting a noble.” Dickon decides to go down too, but Tyrion’s like “you can’t, otherwise your entire house will be wiped out!!” (?? sorry Sam, Melessa, and Talla, you don’t count) But Dickon is the only decent and likeable character on this show, so OF COURSE he needs to immediately be murdered. Tyrion tries to talk Dany out of this, but Randyll’s like “I don’t need no help from some douche who killed his own father” as if Randyll didn’t try to murder his own son lolololol. So Randyll and Dickon get charbroiled and needless to say, any stragglers who witnessed this took a knee rriiiilllll quick.

Then Jaime stomps back into King’s Landing to tell Cersei they’re fucked, even though she thinks they’ll be cool as long as they can afford to hire more mercenaries. Jaime also tells Cersei that Olenna confessed that she killed Joffrey, not Tyrion, which she doesn’t believe at first until he very astutely lays out Olenna’s whole motive.

Then we return to the Cliffs of Destiny on Dragonstone where Jon is awaiting Dany’s return atop Drogon. The dragon lands in front of Jon, and the two have a very tender bonding moment. Meanwhile, we haven’t see Ghost once this entire season.

[Freddy Krueger voice] “I’M YOUR DIREWOLF NOW MWAHAHAHALALALALA!”

And because ALL girls know to listen to their pets, Dany immediately becomes smitten with Jon following Drogon’s approval. She’s like “aren’t they precious?” and Jon’s like uhhhhhhhh and she shoots him a look like “I SAID AREN’T MY BABIES PRECIOUS?” and he’s like “ohhhh yeeeaaahhhh gorgeous flying murder beasts they are, yup yup!”

Dany (finally) asks Jon to clarify the thing Davos said about taking a knife to the heart for his men but Jon’s like “ehhhhh old man brain, nothing to see here” and they’re about to have a moment but then OH LOOK WHO SHOWS UP JUST IN TIME FOR THE COCKBLOCK! Yes, folks, Ser Friendzone is BACK and ready to have his wittle heart broken once more by his beloved Kuleeezy’s latest boy toy, ahhhhhh! Dany is of course very happy to see him and introduces him to Jon. Jon makes a rather passing comment acknowledging that he served Jorah’s father that one time but EHHHHHHH who has time for that, let’s get to Jon looking on in pissy agitation as Dany tenderly embraces Jorah!!!

We interrupt this program to check in with Bran-Bot 2000 on the Weirwood.Net -- Bran, are those dead guys still heading towards the Wall? .... Yes, it appears an army of walking dead are indeed still chilling just beyond the Wall, but it’s okay, folks, they have indicated that they are cool to wait until other plotlines have resolved themselves before making any sort of major move south of Wall. Thanks, Bran-Bot! Now back to you in the studio...

(hey look, as my mom astutely pointed out, they’re called white walkers, not white runners!!)

So apparently Bran sent a raven to the Citadel about the looming threat, and Archmaester Slughorn is chilling in the teacher’s lounge with other maesters reading it when Sam JUST HAPPENS to pop in and overhear the whole convo. Sam’s like “Bran Stark?? I went to school with his brother, he’s totally legit!!” Slughorn’s like “mmmayyybeee... OR it could be a trap by the Dragon Queen!” Sam’s like MAESTER PLEEZE and reminds him that he’s personally seen the white walkers. Slughorn’s like weeellllll okay but he’s gonna need some “clarification” from WF, plus a notarized copy with 3 signatures, a 5-minute video reel, and a letter of recommendation from the Night King himself. Sam leaves in a huff, and Slughorn casually reveals that he knows Sam’s dad and brother were murdered by Dany but hasn’t told him yet. WHAT?????????

Meanwhile, another raven from Winterfell has arrived on Dragonstone for Jon, but Varys is just sitting on it. He and Tyrion are day-drinking in the throne room and Varys is hella disapproving over what Dany did to the Tarlys, and Tyrion for letting her do it. Tyrion’s like “hey, I’m only the Hand, wasn’t my fault!” And Varys is like “cool story, I told myself the same one when I watched Aerys burn the Starks alive but you do you, bruh.”

Anyway, the scroll for Jon was to tell him that Bran and Arya are home, and Jon is SO RELIEVED to hear this, he is nearly in tears with joy----oh sorry no, he looks like he has sand in his crotch, as usual. Even Dany’s like, “you don’t sound very happy” and Jon explains that this just means he has MORE to worry about now. Also, he “thought Bran was dead” even though Sam 100% told him that Bran was alive but SHHHHHHHHHH! we don’t talk about the Other Seasons...

Then Tyrion comes up with the BRILLIANT AND NOT AT ALL ALREADY ATTEMPTED PLAN of bringing a white walker to the queen to prove the threat is real, even though, as Tyrion well knows, this was something Alliser Thorne was tasked with way back in Season 1. But like I said, WE DO NOT DISCUSS THE BEFORETIME.

Varys points out that this plan isn’t worth a damn if Cersei won’t grant them an audience and just immediately murder them all on sight, but Tyrion says that she’ll listen to Jaime, and Jaime might listen to him, sooooo... they all look at Davos and he’s like “okay, I’ll smuggle you into KL, but if you get caught, I don’t know you!”

Then Jorah steps up and is like “I SHALL CAPTURE THE WHITE WALKER FOR YOU, KUHLEEEEZY” but Jon’s like “nah I got this, I’ve fought them before.” Dany then gets this stupid misty-eyed look on her face and unsuccessfully tries to maintain composure as she stutters “I haven’t given you permission to leave!” all while her lower lip is trembling and oh my god it’s the Daario nonsense all over again...

Jon’s like “I’m a king, permish not required, gurl. PEACE.”

Meanwhile, in Winterfell, the Northern lords are talking all kinds of smack about Jon to Sandra, saying “aw man, we shoulda recognized YOUR RIGHTFUL CLAIM IN THE FIRST PLACE chosen YOU instead, My Lady!” while Arya’s in the back looking like her bag of faces is itching... Sandra’s like “I hear what you’re saying, and even though I’d love to tell you to go fuck yourselves, I will instead just tell you that you made your choice and now you’re stuck with it. Jon’s doing his best.”

Later on, Sandra and Arya are walking together and Sandra is complaining that Jon put her a rather awkward position. They get to Sandra’s room, which Arya notices are their parents’ old chambers. Sandra’s like, “yeah so?” And then Arya very snidely points out how Sandra always “liked nice things” (THE WORST CRIME IN WESTEROS!!) because it made her “feel better than everyone.” Sandra’s like YO what crawled up your vagina?? Arya accuses her of just sitting there and “listening” (THE HORROR!!) while people “insulted” Jon, and Sandra very rationally and accurately points out that it’s her JOB to listen to people’s complaints, even if she doesn’t agree with them, especially when those people have armies that they need. See, that’s how grown ups resolve conflicts, Baby Serial Killer. But of course Psycho Arya is just like “OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!” to which Sandra replies that everyone needs to work together and snarkily remarks “I’m sure cutting off heads is very satisfying, but that’s not the way you get people to work together.” WHOA HOLY SHIT, that’s almost like something Sansa Stark would say, you guys!!

But anyway, Arya clicks on to FULL SOCIOPATH MODE as she taunts Sandra about wanting WHAT WAS ALREADY HERS TO BEGIN WITH??? Sandra doesn’t rise to the bait though and instead of screaming “WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU??” in Arya’s face, she’s just like “I have work to do, bye now.”

Just... please get this vile creature off my TV screen please. #NoThanks

So Davos and Tyrion roll up to King’s Landing fully out in the open in broad daylight, and Tyrion says “Last time I was here, I killed my dad!” To which Davos responds “Last time I was here, you killed my son!” Ahhh but don’t worry, Tyrion, he’s totally over it, and we’ve got work to do!! Without securing or hiding their boat or anything, Davos peaces out for Flea Bottom and leaves Tyrion to his own devices.

Then SOMEHOW, somewhere off-screen, Tyrion I guess just happened to run into Bronn, who then lured Jaime down into the dungeons to meet with him. Gosh, that was easy!! Commence yet another reunion that SHOULD feel emotionally impactful but once again just falls completely flat. The only plot-relevant part was when Tyrion said that Dany has an “important request” for Cersei but then the scene ends before he actually says what that is.

Meanwhile, Davos is taking a stroll down the Streel of Steel where he comes upon a familiar smith doing his thing --- hey look, guys, Gendry’s back!!!

Okay wait, PAUSE: WHY THE FUCK IS GENDRY BACK IN KING’S LANDING??? He LEFT because CERSEI WAS TRYING TO HAVE HIM KILLED!!! He’s not even trying to hide -- he’s literally still smithing for the ENTIRE CITY TO SEE. He LITERALLY FORGED A WARHAMMER. WITH THE BARATHEON SIGIL ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!!

He even tries to justify this by saying he thought he’d be safest “right under the queen’s nose”, which just...... qlkjhgfdsdfghjkjhgf

But none of this registered with anyone watching because Davos actually made a “stilling rowing” joke and the memes are all that matter MOVING ON...

Gendry basically just invites himself to go back with Davos, and as they’re packing the boat, those gold cloaks they not 5 minutes before claimed weren’t a problem anymore roll up on them. Davos spins this barely convincing yarn about “fermented crab” and how it’s basically Westerosi viagra, and they’re like okay sure whatever, and they start to walk away just as Tyrion is coming down the hill. And instead of, you know, HIDING or something until they’re gone, Tyrion just WALKS OUT INTO THE OPEN and is of course immediately stopped by the gold cloaks. Davos tries to talk his way out of it again but FUCK THAT NOISE, Gendry comes in with the warhammer and END OF STORY! Violence always wins out over wit, kids, remember that!

Jaime makes his way upstairs where Cersei is having a little chitty-chat with Qyburn, who leaves when he arrives. Jaime’s like “Sooooo I just talked to Tyrion” and instead of immediately calling every guard in the city to hunt him down, Cersei’s just like “cool cool, what’s he up to nowadays?” Turns out she already knew. Oooookay. Anyway, Jaime tells her about the army of the dead, and she’s still insisting they’re gonna defeat anything that comes their way. Then the scene turns into a telenovela when she reveals to Ser Santiago that she está embarazadaaaaaa!!! Yup, Cersei is preggers, and THANK GOODNESS because Jaime nearly had some character development there! Of course he is delighted af and not at all looking for the nearest jar of moon tea....

Davos and Gendry return to Dragonstone, where Davos is giving Gendry his full fake backstory to serve to Jon, but as soon as they roll up on Jon, Gendry IMMEDIATELY blows his cover. I guess this scene was supposed to come off as NEDBERT 2.0 except for that one minor detail that NED IS NOT JON’S REAL FATHER, so nice try.

Dany comes to see off the wight hunting party and is waiting anxiously for that goodbye kiss from Jon but he’s just like “good luck with everything!” and pushes off. Cold!!

And since we need some filler between that scene and the team’s arrival in Eastwatch, we kick it over to the Citadel where Sam’s tryna work while Gilly is reading aloud from a record kept by High Septon Maynard (High Septons have names now???) about lame facts and figures like how many steps are in the Citadel, how many windows are in the Sept of Baelor, an annulment he issued to Prince Rhaegar so he could marry someone else, how many bowels movement he ever had, etc. Ya know, the yooj.

Okay, time out again... ahem [presses lips to megaphone]: THERE IS NO SEPTON, HIGH OR OTHERWISE, WHO WOULD ANNUL THE MARRIAGE OF A CROWN PRINCE THAT HAS ALREADY PRODUCED AN HEIR.

Sooooo either we’re to believe that the High Septon himself issued a bogus annulment specially for Rhaegar, OR Prince Aegon and Princess Rhaenys no longer exist in show-verse.

Anyway, all this lazy-ass exposition flies over Sam’s head and instead he starts yelling about how the maesters are just sleeping on this winter apocalypse thing while he wastes away on these dusty old texts, dammit! He stomps off toward the library and steals as many scrolls and books as he can carry, loads up a wagon, and says sayonara to the Citadel! A thief and a deserter, that’s our Sam Tarly now...

P.S. Gilly’s baby has been upgraded to a toddler now. Even though he should at least be starting Kindergarten at this point...

Back at WF, Arya and Littlefinger are having an old-fashioned Creep-Off. She spies on him as he flits about the castle whispering the random people, until finally she follows him to his bedchamber where he is handed a raven’s scroll from Maester Luwin’s archives. LF ducks into his room for a second then comes back out and locks the door and walks off. Arya then walks up to the door and picks the lock, a skill she picked up from ??????? and sneaks into his room. She looks toward his bed, lifts the mattress, and finds his porn stash!!! Just kidding, she is somehow able to zero in on a tiny 2-inch slit in the bedding where he presumably hid the scroll she just saw him receive. She opens it, and it’s the letter Sansa wrote, at Cersei’s behest, asking Robb to come to King’s Landing and bend the knee so that they won’t fucking kill their father. She pockets the note and sneaks back out of the room, where we see that LITTLEFINGER’S BEEN SPYING ON HER ALL ALONG!

So yeah, Arya “Faceless Men Training School Dropout” Stark, who was able to sneak into the Twins, kill two high-ranking Freys, bake them into pies, murder Walder Frey, impersonate Walder Frey for TWO WEEKS, and then kill off his entire family, can’t even sneak into a room in her own home without the knowledge of Petyr Baelish, the man who had NO IDEA the guys with the flayed man sigils and trail of bodies behind them were bad. Sure.

And now, FINALLY, we get to The Castle Formerly Known As Eastwatch-By-The-Sea!! Jon, along with Davos, Gendry, and Jorah, are chatting with Tormund about their plans, which, of course, Tormund thinks is dumb. He’s also kinda bummed they didn’t bring “the big woman” with them (that’s right, assholes, HE DOESN’T EVEN KNOW BRIENNE’S NAME). Then he’s like “funny you should say you wanna go beyond the Wall, cuz it JUST SO HAPPENS you’re not the only ones!!” He takes them down to cells where Sandor, Beric, and Thoros are having the worst slumber party ever, probably because Sandor is hogging the only bench in the entire cell. Jon recognizes Sandor immediately and is like “Hey, I saw you at Winterfell once!” Then Gendry comes in and is like “NO FUCK THESE GUYS” and tells them how the BwB sold him to a “Red Witch to be murdered” (conveniently leaving out the part where she raped him too, hmmmmm). Then Thoros outs Jorah, and Tormund is piqued cuz he’s Jeor Mormont’s son (see, you woulda thought that would have come up already??). Beric then begins his preaching about how this is all meant to be and how they’re all serving the same purpose until finally Sandor’s like “OH MY GOD CAN WE JUST GO PLEASE??” Tormund hands Jon the keys so he can do the honors. Cut to the gates being opened on the north side of the Wall, and then a dolly shot through the crowd which ultimately ends up on Sandor, who has this look on his face like “uggghhhh I’m getting too old for this shit.” Seriously, though, he seemed to be the focus of this whole moment, which was odd but I’m not complaining. Then the Magnificent Seven head out into the snow like

Well, good news is, now that Sandor is with Prom King Jon, he’s gonna get a whole lot of screentime next week!