#i also stand by everything i said. op i love this so much the color the shading is this ink like. i'm obsessed.

[lovedoesnotconquerall]

My 2024 Year Recap

Dramas

This was a fairly disappointing year for kdramas for me, and I didn’t stay on top of a lot of the dramas as they aired. It wavered between drama droughts and floods too frequently for me to keep up. Nonetheless, here are some of my favorites (not necessarily the best) from this year–

Historical Cdrama:

Blossom

This drama was the whole package for me. The acting, the cinematography, the costuming and sets, the wigs with sideburns, and the creativity of working around the rebirth genre. It avoided the OP pitfall that comes with this type of story and took on a different time period from what I’ve seen lately. I loved the women’s costumes so, so much! Plus the story moved along quickly without feeling rushed. I adore Meng Ziyi and desperately wanted a main character drama win for her, and boy did this deliver. Plus Li Yunrui finally got the girl!!

An aside– If Blossom hadn’t aired at the end of this year, this probably would’ve gone to The Double. But I did a quick rewatch this week and was disappointed by how much it didn’t hold up for me. I blame this largely on the camera blocking choices, as many of the heavy impact and meaningful moments that were likely well-scripted were weakened by having the actors act looking straight into the camera. Some actors weren’t up to the task, skill-wise. And other scenes just would have carried so much more emotional weight if both characters were on screen, and the actors were feeding off each others’ performances. In fact, the scene that had me in an absolute chokehold was the drunk rain sequence in episode 17 with Xiao Heng’s intense, jaw-clenched gaze as he resisted his desire for A’Li. By the end of the drama, I felt like I was watching actors act, rather than believing these were characters whose stories I was invested in emotionally. The drama was still a stand out, especially for its use of color, and I thoroughly enjoyed the experience of watching it air live alongside my tumblr mutuals!

Fantasy:

Fangs of Fortune

I had absolutely no idea what this was about going in. I couldn’t recall even watching a trailer and gave it a shot on a whim. From the costumes to the set design, every aspect of this drama was a visual feast. It felt otherworldly and sucked me in right from the start. I loved the way we saw our main characters’ stories reflected in the side character vignettes, and I never felt the need to fast forward. Even without the extra episode, I was still satisfied with the ending as presented. I don’t need a happy ending if the story’s resolution is justified narratively and this absolutely was. That being said, the extra episode made my shipper heart absolutely feral. No complaints here! I can’t give enough praise to Hou Minghao for his performance here as Zhao Yuanzhou. I see nothing of this character in his other performances, and that really speaks to his ability to adapt and fully live in this role.

Modern Cdrama:

Derailment

It technically finished airing in January, so I’m putting it here on this list. Another underrated drama I knew next to nothing about but left being so satisfied. The ship was so good, and the height difference was delightful. Also, the intimacy of hair washing! I really liked Liu Haocun’s performance. I’d never seen her in anything before, but I look forward to what she does next.

Modern Kdrama:

Lovely Runner

I started this on a plane and almost quit because of what I thought was going to be an over-the-top, cringey portrayal of kpop fanaticism (and I like kpop!!). I’m so glad I weathered that misconception because by the end of episode 2 it shaped up to be everything I wanted and more. I actually bought songs off the soundtrack and still listen to them today. It was fun, sugary sweet, and a joy to watch.

Ships/Pairings:

Song Mo x Dou Zhao, Blossom

I don’t know what more needs to be said about them that I haven’t already posted. They were genuinely equally matched, and I could clearly follow the logical, developed plot points that led to their coupling. The actors felt lived-in their characters and every aspect of the production played their part in making this a believable ride-or-die pairing. The chemistry oozed off the screen from their first encounter. His gaze in episode 1 when they lament trusting the wrong people? Unreal. He was so down bad for her, and tbh? Same.

Whatever was happening, Fangs of Fortune

Nobody delivered longing, connection, fondness, and trust like the multiships in this drama. I was locked in on all of the ships for different reasons. ZYZ and ZYC will hold a special place in my heart for all the things that didn’t need to be said. Who needs dialogue when you can gaze lovingly into the eyes of your soulmate without alerting the censors?

Older drama I watched in 2024:

Princess Agents (2017)

I am Team A’Chu x Yan Xun all the way. Warming her hands through a hole in the wall while dying in prison? Say no more!

(I do wish we could’ve seen Song Mo unleash his inner Yan Xun a little. Alas, censorship…)

Books

I read 37 books this year, excluding web novels. I felt pretty meh about most of the books I read, neither loving nor hating them. Nevertheless, here are some of my favorites.

Fiction:

Welcome to the Hyunam-dong Bookshop by Hwang Bo-Reum, translated by Shanna Tan

This book was like a comforting cup of coffee on a cloudy winter day. An unexpected group of lost people are drawn by and grow together around the warmth of a local bookshop. I loved the slice-of-life nature of the chapters and the gentle affirmations built into the characters’ decisions to slow down their lives.

Nonfiction:

City Limits: Infrastructure, Inequality, and the Future of America’s Highways by Megan Kimble

Growing up in Texas along the Interstate-45 corridor made this an especially compelling yet bleak read.

Novella/Short Story:

Minor Detail by Adania Shibili, translated by Elisabeth Jaquette

Relevant, abrupt, and brutal. It left me numb for days after finishing it.

Open Throat by Henry Hoke, narrated by Pete Cross

This was so odd and creative I don’t really know how to describe it. It gives clever, poignant social/political commentary through the eyes of a mountain lion living on the fringes of a Los Angeles park.

Audiobook:

The Travelling Cat Chronicles by Hiro Arikawa, translated by Philip Gabriel, narrated by George Blagden

The ending was predictable early on, but that didn’t make it any less impactful. I spent the last hour or so listening while sobbing uncontrollably to the point that my hobble-legged former street cat curled up in my lap to comfort me, which of course only made me more inconsolable. This book was beautiful and will hold a special place in my heart, thanks in large part to the experience of listening to, rather than visually reading, it.

Web Novel:

Rebirth of a Star General by Qian Shan Cha Ke, translated by Lazy Girl Translations

I am weak for a well written woman-in-disguise story. Especially one involving martial arts. And to add a general x general ship to it? What more could I ask for? I was excited to see Cheng Lei cast as Xiao Jue, and I look forward to seeing the drama adaptation next year. (hopefully…)

Movies

Twisters

I rarely go to the theater, and movies aren’t really my preferred form of delivery for narrative arcs and character exploration. But I visited college roommates in Seattle over the summer, and we went to see this on a pure whim. It was ridiculous and fun and took me back to our college days reserving the TV room in our co-op house to wind down after exams.

And with that… on to 2025!

[akumuusu]

Disclaimer: Most of what I know is through google research, symbolism will be Chinese due to the media’s origin unless specified otherwise.

Link click Bridon Arc/Yingdu Chapter spoilers

Opening:

Solely visual aspects:

The camera at the start of the OP is the same one Lu Guang has in his hands when he first met Cheng Xiaoshi.

Butterfly motif number 1

~ white butterfly right before Cheng Xiaoshi drags Lu Guang.

~ white butterfly symbolizes purity, healing and innocence in English. Seeing as Lu Guang gets dragged outside of his body as a younger version of himself, this is likely referring to the first timeline.

~ Butterflies overall symbolize love and romance in Chinese folk tale, which adds a lot to the common butterfly motifs.

Liu Xiao was holding open the very end of the collection of ‘Sonnets’ by William Shakespeare

~ the final Sonnet, Sonnet 154 is about unbreaking love

~ Sonnet 154 is a retelling of ‘Cupid and the torch parable’, the moral of said story being, quote, “without trust, there can be no love”

~ Sonnet 154 is often considered to be a pair with Sonnet 153.

A feather falls into (what we can assume to be) Cheng Xiaoshi’s blood

~ feathers have many spiritual meanings, but the most accurate to assume one for this context would likely be the association to otherworldliness or heavenly messages.

Everything in Lu Guang and Cheng Xiaoshi’s room burst into photographs, most of which being of jobs they’ve taken, while Lu Guang stands in the middle of the room, shielding his eyes with his arm.

Directly after the previous excerpt, there’s a montage of Cheng Xiaoshi and Qiao Ling just having fun, not much to add to this one other than it pulled on my heart strings a little bit.

We see Lu Guang standing still in a bunch of colored different settings, back to the screen. It goes to the basketball court where he and Cheng Xiaoshi met, of which was greyscale, he wipes his eyes with his arm, visibly sobbing before an arm (presumably Cheng Xiaoshi’s) grabs his wrist and drags him away, the entire scene gaining color.

What we can assume to be Lu Guang’s notebook’s pages flips backwards, all of the pages are the exact same words, until it finally reaches a different page. Atop said page is a bookmark of sorts with the word ‘Rewind’ written on it in large, clean letters, different handwriting from the journal, they look printed.

Throughout all of this, any and all appearances of Lu Guang are colored and rendered differently from the rest of the artstyle. His coloring is finicky as well.

Solely auditory aspects

“I wish I could tell you the truth”

~ There is something keeping Lu Guang from being capable of telling Cheng Xiaoshi about the time loop. (And it better not be Vein or so help me GOD)

“I stopped painting excuses red”

~ this line implies that Lu Guang, to some degree, blames himself. I believe it means that at some point he stopped blaming Cheng Xiaoshi’s deaths on the universe or things out of his control and began to blame them on himself. ‘Painting excuses’ meaning blaming it on something else, while ‘red’ refers to the danger of the world.

“Rewinding right in front of the eye”

~ someone knows of Lu Guang’s rewinds.

~ We can assume it to be one of the new evil trio, as Li Tianchen never showed any form of awareness to this fact.

“I followed every end of the signs”

~ Lu Guang has tried everything he can think of to change Cheng Xiaoshi’s fate, all of which leading to ‘dead ends’ (Cheng Xiaoshi’s death)

“But I couldn’t make it to you”

~ We can take this line either metaphorical or literal

~ On the metaphorical hand, it would simply mean that he failed, but in the literal sense it could mean that Cheng Xiaoshi was too far away to save, which also brings the question of whether thats metaphorical or literal.

“Trapped in endings I don’t want you to know”

~ I believe this is the answer to the first line, that as much as Lu Guang wants Cheng Xiaoshi to know the truth, he can’t tell him about his own deaths leading to his inability to be honest.

If you have anything to add, please say so! I would love to hear others interpretations

[goldenrulemotherfucker]

My NYCC experience!!

Ok finally time to ramble about getting to meet Ella and Walton last Friday!!!! This was my first time at NYCC and it was cool/huge/exhausting, and ofc the two of them were the major highlight. Long post (plus pics) under the cut!

Ahead of the con, I made shirts to wear in each of my photo ops, and I love how they turned out! My first photo op was with Walton, and he showed up with sunglasses on and waved at the line before we started going in. I don't need to tell you this, but he was being super lovely to every single fan, ofc. When it was my turn, he gave me his standard warm greeting, then noticed my shirt and said "Oh, Radiation KING! I like that!" I said "Thank you!" After the picture, he looked at me again and said, "Thank you, darlin'" and I responded "Thank you so much!!" He radiates charisma, just as much as you'd expect.

Next up was the Ella photo, and she didn't seem to notice my shirt. She said "Hi, how are you?" and I think I said "I'm good, how are you??" before quickly asking "Can we do a thumbs up?" She said "Of course!" (And then they snapped the picture wayyyy too fast, so I'm clearly half-blinking in it but was told it didn't "count" as a blink because my eyes are visible! Sighhh.) We both said "thank you so much" in near unison afterward. I love that she wore a yellow sweater, since it makes Fallout colors with the blue background!!

(Please don't reupload! Also tweeted here.)

After the photo ops, I was finally able to head to Ella's autograph line, which was really chaotic with a bunch of people waiting to be allowed to get in line (likely because she was originally supposed to be signing Thurs/Fri but changed to just Friday). When I was able to join the official line at long last, it took about two hours to get to her table (could have been much worse ofc). I was afraid they'd be rushing us through, but everything was lovely! I was able to get my auto personalized, choose my marker color, and give her the Fallout bracelets I made for her. She looked up when I mentioned them and said, "Oh my gosh, you're so sweet!" Then when she took the bag, she said "Oh these are beautiful, I really love the colors of that one! That's so pretty!" I couldn't tell which bracelet she was pointing to and decided in the moment that it didn't really matter. I just said, "I'm glad you like it! Thank you so much!" I'm really glad I had a gift for her so that I didn't freeze up and not say anything!!

(I had that screenshot printed myself because it HAD to be my fav scene, okay!!!!)

In other Fallout-related experiences, I made a bunch more bracelets to share and only handed out a fraction of them. I thought they'd be a cool icebreaker, and they sometimes were (like when I talked to some cool ladies ahead of me in Walton's photo op line), but I also got some mixed/confused reactions. I guess giving away free stuff to other fans isn't the normal con vibe?? But I'm here to be the change I want to see in the world, because fandom bracelets SHOULD be a thing! Concerts don't get to have a monopoly on this. In the artist alley, I also bought a Fallout fanart print and had a great convo with the artist, who explained that he knew someone who worked on S1 and basically info-dumped at me (in a good way!) about the rushed production schedule. He said it sounds like S2 is going to be better for everyone schedule-wise, so I was glad to hear that!!

By the time I left the con, I felt like my legs were going to fall off after a long day of walking and standing. Let's just say I've been humbled about what kind of shape I'm in. More than anything else in the world, I wanted to sit in a chair. I was actively fantasizing about it. I decided that I was going to hobble back to my hotel and drop off my stuff + change clothes to something less nerdy before dinner....unless I spotted an appealing restaurant first. And that is how I found myself at an Italian place on a corner not far from the Javitz, with all my con shit still in tow. They didn't have a table for one right away, so I was directed to wait at the bar. There were a few other people waiting there, too, and one of them had a Fallout box. I asked her what she got (she didn't know; it was a mystery box), and we chatted about the show a little. Long story short, I gave her the last bracelet of the night and ended up having dinner with her and her two cool friends (it was easier for the owner to sit us at a four-top anyway), which was so random but very fun and so classic NYC. And also refreshing after two solo dinners the nights before!! We talked more about Fallout during the meal, and at one point she said "you're making me want to rewatch now!" so 10/10 on that convo and restaurant choice.

[low-budget-korra]

Comments on House of The Dragon s01e05

-Rhea Royce was fine af what's is your problem Daemon? I hate u for killing her. U better murder Aemond in a spectacular fashion so I forgive u for this, ops, spoiler alert.

-Otto my dear, the war happened much because of YOU. You and your selfish interests.

And damn, poor Alicent. First Otto and now Larys Strong. And we can see how the lie messed with Alicent, those lil bits adds to the "we kinda made them be in love with each other" thing that both Emily and Milly talked about.

And maybe, the heart broken for the lie will be a fuel to Alicent way more than power hunger. And damn you could see the pain on Alicent's face when Criston tell everything.

I saw some people saying it was her being envy because Rhaenyra was making her own choices while Alicent was forced by her father to do things she def didn't wanted to. Which is valid, but I rather be blind here and stick with the gay interpretation of Rhaenyra and Alicent relationship

- Rheanyra and Laenor talking about their "food" preferences was amazing. Can't wait to see the blonde and the gay duo striking again.

It's nice and important to have representation in such a main show as House of The Dragon and the world of Westeros.

- Rhaenys is talking by experience when she said that the lord's won't accept Rhaenyra as queen, not with Alicent baby boys standing along the way. And sadly, she is right.

- So, Criston Cole fell in love with Rhaenyra and simply wanted her to drop everything and runaway with him and because she refused he will be bitter about it and ally's with the Greens?

And also, what a snitch. How can a person be so honorable yet so not honorable at the same time? That's sor Criston Cole ladies and gentlemen

-I thought that Otto would murder Viserys but for as we see, Viserys can die on his own. Poor guy is falling apart

-What should I've said about the royal wedding? Drinks, music, people beating each other up, deaths... The Dothrakis would say that more 2 deaths on that count and it would be a great sign.

Gotta say, Alicent wearing that green dress instead of Targaryen's color clothes was fire. That's probably the only complement I will make to her since I'm part of the Blacks.

Viserys face after see Daemon go talk with Rhaenyra was like "seriously mf?"

I bet that sor Criston started that fight. But c'mom, Joffrey was really dumb to have that talk with him. Poor Laenor tho

- Best episode so far. The episodes prior everything felt like a Volcano ready to explode at anytime and damn tonight was the night.

A great ending to this first part of the show. Next week we will start from zero, but with the backstory that we now saw. We saw everything that was crucial to what led to the Dance in those five episodes. I gonna say, I will miss Emily and Milly, and I hope to see them more in more main stream and main character roles, those two basically carried this first half. Matt Smith is a great actor with tons of charisma but Milly and Emily were the stars.

[writingwithcolor]

Black characters with white hair: the “Special Snowflake” Compilation

Is it problematic to give my Black MC white hair?

@roseoholic asked:

Is it problematic to give my black mc white hair? In my story, if someone dies and comes back to life, their hair turns white. Her origin is that she's a reincarnation of an escaped soul, and took the place of the stillborn fetus in her "mothers" womb. I am pretty flexible in her design still, so I am willing to change if it's a bad idea. Thank you if you answer! :)

I think we’re all aware that Black people can have white hair naturally, whether it’s due to

Aging

Hair that turns gray/white early in life

Albinism

Genetics - Black person (mixed race or no) who have very light or white hair.

Obviously, Black people can dye their hair white as well.

Photo above: Black models Diandra forrest and Nyakim Gatwech posing. They both have pale blondish-white hair. Source: Essence.

The question being asked is if it’s okay for Black characters to have white hair by conscious choice of the author.

Answer: 

On its face, it’s okay to have Black characters with white hair. This is especially true if how the white hair comes about is a natural occurrence in your story that likely affects other races too. Motive is an important factor.

What is the reason for their hair being white? 

That reason could and should be everything but to make them seem special or more likeable. This isn’t aimed at you specifically, OP, but there are creators who feel compelled to give Black characters uncommon, rare or unusual features due to an aversion to feature Black people with more common features (dark and brown hair, skin, eyes etc). 

When aversion to Blackness is the motive, it shows. 

It’s in the way the narrative exalts this character over other Black people in the narrative, treating them more favorably and giving them more of an arc over other Black characters. This is sometimes known as making them a “Special snowflake” which isn’t a term I particularly love, as it’s sometimes used to devalue real struggles people face. However, It does serve to categorize the trope. (See: TVTropes Special Snowflake)

Signs you’re treating your white-haired Black character better over other Black characters, aka the “Special Snowflake”

Stronger characterization and arc, more importance and “Screen time” than other Black characters (even when they’re not the main character)

Unique features are overemphasized and described at every chance (fetishized)

Better treatment in the story compared to other Black characters. They’re also less likely to face suffering and abusive narratives. Good things happen to them more than other Black people.

Shown to be more deserving of love, affection and romance over other Black characters; may have a love interest while others don’t.

Takeaway:

You can have Black characters with white hair. However, do not use light or unique features to exalt or set your character apart from your Black characters as “better.”

That is, not without an explicit social commentary, since yes these folks tend to be treated better by society and media in real life. 

It also helps to have other Black characters with more common features who are treated well and have a fully developed character arc. These other Black people’s lives also should not revolve around just supporting white or the white-haired character, either.

Black Girl, Snow White Retellings

@morganadelacour​ asked:

Hi there,

I (a white woman) would like to write a re-telling of Snow White and make her a Black girl with white hair. Snow White would be under the impression, that her stepmother (a white woman) is evil, when in fact, she only tried to protect herself and Snow White from Snow White’s father (a white man). The story would be told from both perspectives, probably first from Snow White’s perspective, then from the queen’s. In the end, both women make peace, Snow White understands the queen’s actions and the queen apologizes and tries to make up for her actions that hurt Snow White. Do you see a problem with any aspect of this outline and/or are there certain things I have to keep in mind?

Thank you so much for all the work you do with this blog and for your efforts to educate.

@corbeaudelys​ asked:

I'm writing a science fiction variant of Snow White with a protagonist that has dark skin with white, 3C hair and brown eyes. I read a post that said magic white hair, dark skin, and European features was a bad trope; would it still be bad even if I made it clear that she has no European features and her hair's not magical?

See “Is it problematic to give my Black MC white hair?” which answers the core of this question. Motive truly is the main factor in if it’s okay or not, and the resulting treatment of that character and other Black characters that may exist in the story. I have a Black Snow White in one of my retellings, too! 

The motive is clear here: you’re retelling Snow White with a Black girl and want to keep it relevant by assigning the white feature to hair instead of skin. It’s also a story where Snow White is intentionally meant to stand out as the “fairest of them all” so the exalting does have plot relevance. 

As noted before, I would caution against making her beautiful to mean that other Black women are not beautiful or are unworthy. 

I would like to make special mention that you can also do retellings where Snow White goes the other direction, and her compelling dark features make her the “fairest of them all”

Black woman dyes hair white, problematic symbolism?

@tlking-heads-moved said:

hi! i have a story with two black women protagonists: 

1.) leader, strong and loyal, with very curly dark hair (usually pulled back) 

2.) part of the group, elegant and refined, with light pink braids (or other protective styles).

Towards the end of the story, both of their hair changes styles, the second character dyes her hair white.

I am afraid that the character with the styled, pink/white hair will come off as “purer” or “better” than the character with the natural, dark hair, because of their personality + appearance differences. should I change either of their usual hair styles or their personalities?

These seem like stylistic choices. As the girl already had a pink braided style, hair color changes seems like something she likes to do and does not have to be symbolic of anything. Your use of color throughout the story could help avoid implications of white as more pure, if this is something you’d like to avoid:

See more about Color symbolism in our Color Symbolism Guide

Also, going from pink to white, which both have connotations of femininity and softness (according to a Western Lens) doesn’t come across as a stark difference. Without knowing the full details of these personality changes the girls undergo, I’m personally not getting that impression. Again, the full narrative will inform this and you may want to pay mind to your use of color throughout.

Now, do avoid making the dark-haired one a Strong Black Women character. You specifically called her strong, which doesn’t necessarily mean she’s a SBW, but please see our several related posts to ensure she is not one.

I hope this helps!

~Mod Colette

[moxfirefly]

Good afternoon, this has been in the works for a while now and I finally got around to finishing it and being pretty content of it (this is gonna go up on AO3 soon along with the others that aren’t request) but I wanted to post it here first. Enjoy!

Rated Explicit (18+ only)

“Wish you were here right now

All of the things I'd do”

Gaming was always an escape.

From childhood to adulthood. There was some gaming equipment in your hands, controls, handhelds, keyboards and so on. There was just something calming about entering a fantasy world and immersing yourself in scenery and stories that made you stray from bad days and long nights.

For Donatello it was the same.

On one of his many supply scavenges Splinter had found a dumpster near a toy store that was going out of business. It was a memorable haul for them. What they expected to be routine things mixed with some type of groceries had turned into literal Christmas in July. Stuffed animals, board games, action figures and even a few gaming consoles with some cartridges and cd’s. Noticeably they were considered damaged or improperly manufactured, but they didn’t care and for Donnie he had spent a good week and a half fixing up the Nintendo and Play Station 2 consoles back into working conditions.

That alone had been plenty for him but nevertheless Mikey being so excited about playing wanted him to join him. They had played for hours and each disc or cartridge they tried out held a new story, a new set of controls to learn, new visuals and such. He was immediately hooked.

When he had gotten the first parts to start building a PC from scratch he knew there would be another world of possibilities for games.

Now gaming is a leisure for Donnie. Something he does for enjoyment and an escape when his projects become too much. The world of online gaming allowed him to also explore the possibilities of chatting with others though, the humans they were not allowed to see or speak to (with the exception of their Hogosha) but needless to say it wasn’t like Donnie broadcasted his identity and whereabouts. More so these people only came to game and speak game.

Donnie absolutely does detest the unnecessary sexism that gaming brings. Many a time he had read on chats or heard on his head set such derogatory comments thrown at female players. Never the one to stand such misogynistic behavior (he was raised better and had heard enough horror stories from April) he always shot that shit down quickly. Given his status as being far above his gaming peers he had developed respect and none of them ever shot back at him.

That’s how he runs into you.

On the opposing team nonetheless.

Once your female voice ran through the ears of the group he had been stuck in, the comments began to rain down. Some colorful, some lazy and some downright disgusting. Donnie had had enough and with some of his more illegal methods, had managed to push out the players in his party and send the audio recording to the email of the developers.

On exceptionally petty days he did far worse.

You had been stunned, wondering why the gang of immature boys had suddenly disappeared. Only one of them remained with the gamer tag specifying ‘Don_DuzMachines’ you couldn’t help but giggle at it.

You had asked if the sudden disappearance had been a weird glitch and if Don (as you assumed you should call him) had anything to do about it.

“Let’s just say I’ve got my ways” His soft voice rang through your headset.

“Well it’s hardly the first time I’ve had a gang of prepubescent boys tell me to suck their dicks” You started to move away in the map but stopped abruptly.

“Hey do you wanna play something else?” You asked tentatively. “Figured the least I can do is thank you” Donnie sat back pensively, well there was no harm in that now was there?

And so it started innocently.

Co-op games even the occasional match against one another. Each game you two always spoke through your headsets. Mostly banter about strategy or directions for who to do what or the occasional friendly jabs. You hadn’t revealed much that wasn’t the nickname you used as your gamer tag, and well Don had basically done the same.

That is until you decide to poke a little into his life. “You go to college?” You had asked, fingers gliding over the keyboard as you both partook in a raid. Donnie hadn’t expected such a question and he didn’t necessarily want to divulge much, he opted for a more ambiguous response. “I do my own studying, sort of like home schooling if you will?” Well he wasn’t wrong, Splinter had been both father and teacher to them, Donnie had just excelled more quickly and soon enough he was teaching his brothers on the academic side.

“You broke too, huh? Trust me it’s not worth the insane debt you’ll develop in six years that’ll take forty years to pay off” You chuckled with a hint of bitterness, Donnie couldn’t help but laugh and snort.

“That’s cute” You said sincerely. Donnie smiled, heat creeping up his neck.

How innocent things had been at the start.

For six months the two of you divulged little to no information. You never asked to video chat and Donnie never asked for your socials. It had just been a mutual agreement to keep the mystery that just wasn’t verbalized. Maybe it was for the better, because surely what had began as a gaming buddies situation had escalated to, well Donnie couldn’t really explain.

The first instance the two of you had been stuck on a map solving intricate puzzles. It was one of the more relaxed games the two of your partook in together when you didn’t want to deal with other players in a lobby.

“Dating apps are a nightmare, they’re only worth it for getting dumb funny stories” You had been playing but also checking some of the matches you’ve gotten on a site. Donnie swallowed, why did that settle so oddly in his stomach?

“Well any funny ones you’d like to share?” Don asked curiously hoping he wasn’t over stepping any boundaries. “One guy wanted me to cover my feet in marmalade, I really almost hit fuck it and did it” You couldn’t help but smile when Don choked, coughed and bursted out laughing.

“What kink is that even related to? I mean I know people enjoy feet but marmalade?” He was bewildered. “Come on Don don’t kink shame the poor guy, who are you to police his eclectic culinary desires?” Now the two of you couldn’t help but burst into another fit of laughter. Both your avatars were idle standing, the game somewhat abandoned in favor for the conversation.

“Hey I’m not kink shaming, we all have our weird kinks” Donnie smiled sitting back on his swivel chair. You clicked out of the dating site, chin resting on your hand. “Are we finally having this conversation? Cause I love this shit, it’s my bread and butter” You sat back in your gaming chair, tucking your knees.

Donnie felt so shy but the barrier of mistery the two of you had built urged him on. He was curious, like stupid curious what you looked like and while he had everything to figure out exactly where you were, it wasn’t morally correct for him. So why not just indulge in the conversation?

“Well it’s not feet, sorry to disappoint” He heard you laugh, an infectious sound he had grown to enjoy so much. “Feet are so passé anyways, what about bondage?” You spun slowly in your chair, the sounds of Don adjusting and clicking on the keyboard ringing in your ears.

“Bondage is a go, especially sensory deprivation” He was checking some documents April had forwarded to him in regards to a case they were dealing with, but he could multitask. You made an approving noise, nodding while taking a sip of your drink. “Into that D/s stuff?” You asked wanting to see what else he might like.

“Well yeah, but I do enjoy more um... Fem Dom stuff” He finished up the email he wrote out for April and hit send. “A man with taste, not something we get often” You chuckled but decided to add. “I wouldn’t mind having a guy submit to me” You bit the inside of your cheek a little shy suddenly.

Something about that statement made heat spread south for Donnie. The concept of being dominated? By a woman? He peaked a look behind him, pushing one side of his headset down to hear what his brothers might be up to but he heard only music and chatting voices.

“What’s your favorite thing?” He inquired almost too softly.

“Erotic ASMR” There was no trace of embarrassment in your voice and that somehow made Donnie hot.

“Maybe we frequent the same sites for that” Don boldly threw out. You made an approving face before sitting forward and typing on your keyboard. A beat or two later Donnie saw an email notification from you on one of his many burner emails. He opened it finding links to audios from various sites all catered to erotic audios. Donnie whistled, this was a gold mine and true to his predictions you did indeed have some of his favorite sites to peruse.

“It’s not just male audios by the way, there’s women too” You sat back once again, nervously playing with your hair. “Thanks... Well I do like hearing both” Donnie confessed, voice avoiding a stutter.

You grinned. Oh he was even more fun that you could’ve expected.

Curiously enough that had been the tamest experience into yours and Donnie’s sex talks. Because it hadn’t really stopped at that, they progressively escalated little by little. Fave kinks had turned to fave sites, fave sites had turned into fave videos. Donnie never pictured he’d share his hidden folder with a stranger no less.

You nor Donnie could really say how the two of you had ended up one late night, with yet another abandoned game, talking about weird but satisfying cyber sex experiences. Some of your stories had been on the more comical side but a few had riled Donnie up to the point that he couldn’t ignore it. There was a shift in your voice as well, an allure that enticed him.

“Can I be honest?” You licked your suddenly dry lips. Donnie tensed momentarily, not sure what to expect. “Of course, please” You squeezed your thighs together, ‘please’ shouldn’t sound so good coming out of his mouth. You trace lazy circles on your thighs, something pushed you. “I’m kinda turned on by this...by talking to you about all this stuff” Maybe this was overstepping it, surely there was nothing wrong between two adult friends discussing such matters.

There was no need to tell Don that you had yearned to put a face to the name. But his hesitance spoke of insecurities and you could understand that.

“I am too...” Donnie looked up at what he called a ceiling in his home, the darkness of the sewer system and concrete. He’d never have a chance with you, it was a deeply rooted desire for intimacy and if virtually he could obtain it then so be it.

For all your boldness you felt a wave of bashfulness hit, crashed around your self confidence. Then Donnie steps up and you feel your toes curl in excitement. “Do you want to have a better experience?” Donnie runs both hands down his face, who was he to provide better experiences, he’d never even physically had a partner. The slow sigh that escapes your throat is comforting static in his headset. “Yeah, yeah I really do actually” You feel a smile etch itself on your lips.

“You can call me Donnie” It’s the closest to his name, and truthfully he really wants to hear you say it.

“Y/N,” You say to which Donnie makes an approving noise, he finds your name to be pretty. He rolls it in his mouth, testing the syllables, he can envision moaning it, well he wants to moan it if he can be completely honest. He wants to put a face to that name but he quickly pushes the thought out. There’s a pregnant pause where neither of you engage or make the first attempt. Not wanting to let this mood flee, Donnie swallows and closes his eyes. The hum of the abandoned game grounding him.

“Say my name again” It’s not a forceful demand, all the contrary he wants to hear the pitch in your voice when you say it, he wants to picture how each tone would variate depending on what he would do or say. “Donnie...” You smile to yourself when you say it, a hint of desire nestled in it and Don notices that and wants more of it.

There’s a lengthy sigh from your behalf, hands wandering up your thighs towards your chest. “I’d like to be there right now, would like to say it against your lips” Your bold confessions makes Donnie’s pulse quicken. He runs a ghosting touch up his plastron, the vision of a delicate hand doing it. The imaginary weight of you on his lap grinding down on his hard member. Donnie grips himself through his shorts a soft groan escaping his parted lips.

“Want you to kiss me” He swallows dryly, the approving noise you make pushing him forward. “Feel your lips all over, feel your mouth around me...” He lifts his hips, hand cupping himself and the small hitch in your breath is a sound he wants permanently recorded in his brain.

“God are you big? I bet you are” You kneed your breast, thumb and forefinger pinching the sensitive nubs until they’re perked. Donnie smirks to himself, freeing his aching member and looking down at himself. Mutant genes aside he feels somewhat shamefully proud of his cock, he wonders if you would like it... deeply buried within you. “Yeah I am, I think you can take it something tells me” You catch that teasing tone and the urge to swallow him whole and make him see stars is too much.

Your hand finds its way into your underwear, the warm wetness making you moan as you tease your middle finger between the lips to find your sensitive nub there. You bite back another lengthy moan but recover enough to breathlessly say, “oh fuck, Donnie” and that very sound makes him shiver. Never did he think he’d hear something so temptingly good, said with such sincerity. God the things he would do to smell your arousal right now, to taste the wetness. “Push two fingers in slowly” Donnie almost pleas, his voice shakey, hand pumping his cock at a steady pace. You do as he wishes, your gutted moan making more precum gather at the tip of his member.

“God-shit- you sound so good, wish you were riding my big dick right now” He wants to chastise himself for saying something like that, but he can’t deny that statement shakes something in you. He can hear it, the sound of your fingers mixed with a continuously rising string of moans. “Ohmygod” Words tumble out strewn together by your pleasure. “Donnie please, please fuck me harder” That alone makes him sit up and push forwards, one hand on his desk as the other works himself up in upward twisting strokes.

Donnie can’t erase the idea of slamming into you right here on his desk, maybe bent over, maybe you’ll let him cum on your face...

He pushes the idea away, he can’t envision your face now, not right now, not when your moans have you sounding this deliciously in need. You’re plunging two fingers into your core as your free hand runs firm circles around your clit. “Christ Donnie you sound so good baby” You moan, perspiration covering your body and Donnie can only groan his approval.

There’s a few minutes where it’s just the two of you lost in your own pleasure together. The constant chants of ‘fuck’ and ‘god’ and ‘yes’ mixed between the two of you. “Say it... again” Donnie groans out, hand quickening, briefly gathering some saliva and letting it fall on his hard member for better traction. “Don-oh, Donnie cum in me!” You’re so far gone, not caring what comes out of your mouth. The wet sounds in your head set and a vibration you figured could be static mixed with his groans was all you heard.

Donnie’s hips twitch, feels that request swim inside of his brain and the image of burying himself as deeply as you could take is all he needs. Just as your moans rise in crescendo he feels the first twitch and relief of his orgasm overtake him. He’s never felt it hit him this hard it knocks the wind out of him, each rope shooting out onto his hand and floor. In his minds eye though, it’s your suffocating heat taking it, milking him until he’s a shivering mess. It plays perfectly like a movie, he swears he can even feel your lips at his neck and arms holding him tight.

Your sounds are enough to keep him stroking, the way your voice pitched up with the sound of his name entwined, forever recorded in his brain. Your entire body tensed to the point of uncomfortable but it was impossible to stop abruptly when he sounded so lost in you. Your leg shakes and stiffens and it takes every inch of control to not become liquid and slip away into comforting bliss.

Eventually the sounds of heavy breathing slowly but surely settling are the only things the two of you can hear in your ears. There’s a mess, for you and for him. The understanding of things transpired crossing each of you two’s brains. Should you speak first? Should he?

“Um, you with me?” You settle, skin sweaty and mouth dry. There’s movement on the other line, a quiet cuss here and there and you smile. “Yeah, sorry just... made a mess” His voice has that sheepish tone and you can’t help but chuckle.

“Great thing about being a girl, we can conceal the evidence better” You stretch your aching legs enjoying each joint pop. “The female anatomy never seizes to amaze me, trust me” Donnie leans back in his chair, napkin cleaning any other soiled spot.

The silence was somewhat comfortable, the buzzing of good chemicals slowly settling.

“Was this okay?” He asked, hesitant tone in your ears.

“More than okay if you ask me” You kept it light not wanting him to feel odd or even ashamed.

You ventured on slowly, forming the question in your brain and bouncing it back and forward with a swallow. “If, and I mean if you want to, we can maybe do this from time to time” You worried a thumbnail between your teeth. Donnie’s gaze watching the idle screen of the abandoned game, he thought hard but briefly.

“I... yeah I would” He smiles to himself, even if the nagging thought that this might not last clutches the back of his mind. Why ruin a good thing? This was good more than good and you suggested to continue.

He doesn’t want to preoccupy his brain with scenarios, or if that dreaded ‘let’s meet’ sentence decides to cross your lips. If this is the inch of intimacy he gets to have and it’s with you, who he has grown so fond of, then he’s selfishly taking that inch and guarding it with his life.

Mutely you both remain on the line, no words spoken from the agreement, just simply enjoying that the two of you were present.

Even if not physically.

[pair-annoyed]

Anime I Watched This Summer

Summer 2020 has officially come to a close. It’s fall in Animal Crossing and the trees are beginning to turn. Much like quarantine, I spent a lot of my free time watching anime when I wasn’t stressing over starting college. Now that the school year has begun, I thought it would be nice to reflect on everything I’ve watched! 

These Anime were seen between 6/14 - 8/31 (my Birthday!) and are listed in chronological order.

They will be rated on a 1-10 scale; 1 meaning complete garbage, 10 meaning masterpiece. I will offer my thoughts on what I did/didn't like about each show!

1. Bakemono no Ko - 8/10

This was such a great way to start out the summer! I love the dynamic between Kumatetsu and Ren. Overall its a little cliche, but it’s also very wholesome. It’s by the same studio that made Wolf Children (which I loved!). so I knew it was going to be good. My favorite aspect of this movie was its backgrounds and world building! 

2. Wan Sheng Jie - 9/10

Oh my gosh! I know that this is technically a donghua, but its on MAL, so it counts. This show quickly became my favorite slice of life of all time. I adore the art style and all of the characters. The comedy, plot, and design blends so well together. Everything in Wan Sheng Jie feels warm and comfy. It’s also confirmed for a second season! After seeing its cliff hanger ending, I’m so anxious for what comes next! 

3. Dororo - 7/10

I’ll be honest, I’m a sucker for studio MAPPA. I really liked the historical aspects of Dororo. From the outfits to the ways characters behave, its grounded in the constraints of feudal Japan. I would have given this show a higher score if it was a little more grounded in science. I feel like more time should’ve been given to the demons and antagonists of the show. Our MC was so over powered, which made the final fights of the series more lack-luster. I think its less of the anime’s fault and more because the original source material is from the 60s. That being said, I loved this show! It was cute and action packed. Though it isn’t perfect, it holds its own.

4. Bungou Stray Dogs - 5/10

The concepts and action are misconstrued in Bungou Stary Dogs. This is one of those shows that I chose to watch because it was all over Tumblr. The powers themselves are cool, but I can’t understand why this series is so praised. At it’s core its predictable and basic. The fights seemed low stakes and low energy. None of the humor really felt like it belonged. It tried too hard to be something it isn’t. I don’t think I’ll watch beyond this first season. 

5. Kami no Tou - 4.5/10

First off, fuck Rachel, me and my homies hate Rachel. I really really had high hopes for Tower of God. It paves the way for Webtoon adaptations in the future. Its such a shame that this adaptation SUCKED. I have not read the source material, I’m going solely based on the anime. It wasn’t good? It was horrible. I hate Bam, I hate Rachel. I think all the characters expect Rak were awful. Please don’t make a season 2. Please. If you’re interesting in Tower of God, just read the webtoon. 

6. Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun - 7/10

Shoujo anime is my guilty pleasure. I especially liked the way Gekkan Shoujo tackled Sakura and Nozaki’s relationship. Besides just the main characters, even the side characters were enjoyable! It was a fun and creative show. My only complaint is how dense Nozaki is, but I also absolutely love that part of him.

7. Jojo no Kimyou no Bouken (Parts 1-2) - 6.5/10

Jojo is not the saving grace of shounen anime. It isn’t something super revolutionary and it certainly will never be a 10/10. Part 1 was so slow and boring. Jonathan was just mediocre at best. I definitely liked Joseph a LOT more than Jonathan. Part 2 overall was much easier to watch than part 1. The fights are good, but there’s just something about Jojo that I can’t get behind. Although I’m completely bashing this series, I’m going to keep watching it. At this point, I wanna know what a stand is. 

8. Clannad - 5.5/10

I was expecting Clannad to be sad, but instead I got a cute, slice of life, romance. It wasn’t unenjoyable, but it was also a pretty slow-burning show. I loved watching Nagisa and Okazaki slowly fall in love with each other. It was funny at times and sad at other points. I am currently watching Clannad: After Story (which I’ve heard is heartbreaking), so I’m hoping to get some catharsis out of that. 

9. Otome Game no Hametsu Flag shika Nai...  - 6/10

This show is only 12 episodes, and yet it still has filler episodes for some reason? I’m a person who doesn’t typically watch isekai because the genre is so over done. However, when it’s done in a very specific way it’s really fun to watch! This show was definitely a lot of fun, it’s also cute and has so many interesting character-character interactions. The ending is painfully cliche, but I think it adds to this shows charm. 

10. Kaguya-sama wa Kokurasetai: Tensai-tachi no Renai Zunousen  - 8/10

I loved Love is War so much! I love their weird romantic dynamic. I love the characters, and I love the animation. It’s over the top and executes it humor masterfully. The entire show fills you with anticipation for the two main characters. Kaguya is my favorite character. Although I haven’t seen season two yet, I most certainly will! I’m so upset I hadn’t seen this show sooner.

11. Great Pretender - 8.5/10

This show is so colorful and bubbly. The animation is so smooth and they are able to tackle so many different kinds of things given its plot. The whole show itself just feels like summertime. It came out not to long ago, so some people may not be familiar with it. On top of the show itself, the music is great, with a Jazzy OP and and ED that features Freddie Mercury

12. Steins;Gate 0 - 8/10

 I loved the original Stein;Gate so much! So it’s no surprise how much I liked the second season. It builds significantly off the first season in a sort of “off shot” OVA kind of way. The events of Steins;Gate 0 don’t actually happen, but that doesn’t stop it from being meaningful. The big “twist” was predictable and a bit of a let down, but I still enjoyed this. Granted, I’m bias. 

13. Seishun Buta Yarou wa Yumemiru Shoujo no Yume wo Minai - 9.5/10

I sobbed. So much. This movie was phenomenal, it was such a trip. Having watched the original series, this tore my heart apart. It gets a high score for being able to take the characters I love and creating a wonderfully emotional experience. If you haven’t seen Bunny Girl Senpai, please watch it, and then watch this movie. You won’t regret it! 

14. Hotaru no Haka - 6/10

Grave of the Fireflies made me stop watching anime for a while. Studio Ghibli created something grim, something that leaves the viewers feeling hollow. Its a movie about WWII from Japan’s perspective. As an American, all I could feel while watching this was immense guilt. I will say though, that some of the movies main plot could have easily been prevented if the main character had swallowed his pride. His younger sister was also my least favorite character. I get that she’s a kid and that kids are fussy, but you would think that during wartime, she’d be more understanding and at least try to eat the things she dislikes. 

15. Yagate Kimi ni Naru - 9/10

This was a great way to end the summer. This is more that just GL romance, its a love story. Its about growing up and learning to understand your feelings. I related to Yuu so much, which made this more emotional than I expected. It’s really unlike another romance anime I’ve seen. I hope it gets confirmed for a second season. If not, I’ll be reading the manga. 

Seasonal Shows: (Things that are still airing as of 9/5/2020)

1. The God of High School  7.5/10

Another thing done by studio MAPPA. Are you surprised? I absolutely love the action in GoH. The plot however, is all over the place. The story seems fragmented and hard to follow. Like Tower of God, it was poorly adapted. I’m giving it such a high score, because it’s SO much more enjoyable then Tower of God. 

2. Enen no Shouboutai: Ni no Shou - 4/10

My thoughts on season 2 are about the same as my thoughts on season 1. The only difference is that this season has more Jojo references. I’ve rated it lower because its so repetitive. I’m so sick of watching it, but I’ve got to see it through the bitter end.   

3. Re:Zero kara Hajimeru Isekai Seikatsu 2nd Season - 8.5/10 

All I’m going to say about Re:Zero is that I love it. I can’t give an accurate review of it because I’ve been hyping this season since it was announced. If you’re into non-typical isekai, watch Re:Zero, its so enjoyable!

[itsclydebitches]

re: that ask you posted a couple days ago about the male and female representation in RWBY, part of what makes RWBY's whole 'girl power' thing ring exceptionally hollow to me is the fact that there are like... no women in positions of real power in remnant. like at all. except the big bad.

winter is second in command to james. glynda is second in command to ozpin. all of the headmasters are men (for no discernible reason, imo; why theodore and not dorothea?). the leader of the ace ops was a white man (and then winter seemed to take over clover's position instead of either of the women of color on the team, and she was still second to james). RWBY is an all girl team, but JNPR was led by a boy despite a girl arguably being far more qualified (pyrrha). the happy huntresses are all women, and robyn had no real power to speak of--she didn't even manage to win the election, because jacques rigged it, and then the council ceased to matter. there was one (1) woman on the council, but she was so inconsequential that i can't even remember her name. (i suppose we're lucky it was the guy and not her who james shot lol) jacques controls the SDC instead of willow, even though he's not even a schnee by blood and actually married into the family for power. (and we don't even know how he got it over his wife.)

and then there's the white fang, which ghira led and not kali--and it's ghira who leads menagerie itself, while kali seems to be a housewife. sienna had five minutes of screentime before being brutally killed and her position assumed by adam, a man. cordovin is basically a one off lackey we haven't even thought about before or since. neo was second to roman. you have cinder, sure, who is a second but to salem, a woman, and raven as the leader of the branwen tribe--but what does it really say about your 'girl power' narrative when the only women with genuine systemic power in your world are villains or antagonists with massive bodycounts??

atla has the same sort of problem--a couple great female characters, but all the leadership positions are men (except the kyoshi warriors, an all girls group, and even then the leader of their island is an old man) and the one female mentor figure also turns out to be evil--but it at least has some great writing to help overlook that fact, and it came out in the mid-00's and so has some sort of excuse of being a product of its time. but rwby didn't even start until 2013 and it's still going and still making these kinds of decisions well into 2021.

where is this supposed girl power, exactly? am i really supposed to overlook the very patriarchal worldbuilding just because the title characters are girls?

That's an excellent summary of the situation, anon, and as with so much in RWBY, it comes down to the full context. Any one of these examples isn't necessarily going to mean much on its own. It's when you look at the pattern that you can start making a case for those conclusions: Why is the show marketed on "girl power" set in a world where men hold the vast majority of that power? And, more importantly, why is that setup not the point? We could easily have a story where that lopsided gender dynamic is the problem that the girls are looking to fix, but... that story doesn't exist. Like the problems discussed with Jaune, the supposed point here exists only on the surface. Dig just the tinniest bit — the above — and you hit on a lot of structural problems with this "girl power" world.

To add just a few details to what you've already said:

Salem indeed has power, but she's never allowed to fully use it. Each volume the frustration with this grows as Salem accumulates more abilities and then just sits on them. From literally hiding out for a thousand years to worries that she won't use the Staff in Volumes 9-10, Salem really isn't allowed to be the threat she's presented as on the surface. And yes, this is absolutely due in part to the "She's too OP and the writers don't know how to let her be that powerful while still having the heroes win" issue, but again, context. That problem doesn't exclude others occurring simultaneously.

Same double explanation with Summer. Yes, dead moms are an incredibly common trauma to dump on a protagonist, but it still left Yang and Ruby with Tai as their primary influence. And Qrow. The uncle becomes the extended family influence while Raven is the absent one/eventual antagonist. It's personal power as opposed to political power, but Tai, Qrow, Ozpin, formerly James... most of the mentors are men. Maria, a key exception, has been ignored in that regard. The story announced that she was Qrow's inspiration, setup her being Ruby's new mentor, and then... nothing. Nothing has come of that. She disappeared for a volume and then went off to Amity and was literally forgotten by the story when evacuating everyone was the finale's whole point.

Like that Endgame moment I mentioned, the Happy Huntresses feel a little too forced to me. Yes, it's the same basic idea as in ATLA, but ATLA, as you say, has a lot more going for it. The Happy Huntresses feel... on the nose? Idk exactly how to explain it. Like, "Here they are! Another team of all women! Isn't this how progressive storytelling works? Just ignore how this is a one-off team of minor characters compared to the world building issues discussed above." And if you're not paying attention, you miss just how insignificant they are, with a side of Robyn being, well, Robyn. The Kyoshi Warriors, at least, are based off of Kyoshi. A woman avatar who is a significant part of their history. That is, presumably, why they're an all women warrior group (but who notably still teach Sokka). The Happy Huntresses are all huntresses because...? There's no reason except that meta "We want to look progressive" explanation. Just like having all the women superheroes team up for a hot second so people get excited and ignore the representation problems across, what? 21 films? Don't get me wrong, I love that May is among the Happy Huntresses. I think including her in the explicitly all-women group was one of the better things RWBY has done in a long time, but the rest is still a mess.

RWBY is arguably about these smaller groups as opposed to systematic power (despite the writers trying to work that in with things like the White Fang and the election. Not to mention the implication that everything in Atlas is fine now that evil Ironwood has died and taken the symbol of wealth (the city) with him. We saw a human holding hands with a faunus after all. Racism and corruption solved, I guess.) So yes, our group is dominated by women... but Whitley is the one saving Nora, helping to defeat the Hound (plus Willow), thinking of the airships, and providing the blueprints they need to escape. Salem is our Big Bad, except Ironwood is the one the volume focuses on. Ruby is our leader, but Jaune is the one leading the group into the whale and getting praised for how heroic he is. Ren does more to shake things up, even if he's painted as the one in the wrong. Oscar gets to confront Salem and destroys the whale threat. Ozpin provides the information they need to evacuate. Meanwhile, when the girls do things in Volume 8 it's almost always followed by a long-stint of passiveness. Nora opens the door so she can be unconscious for most of the volume. Penny keeps Amity up so she can also be unconscious for a good chunk of time. Ruby sends her message and then sits in a mansion. Blake fights so she can tearfully beg Ruby to save her. Weiss, as said, takes a backseat to Whitley (and Klein). They forward the plot, absolutely, but comparatively it doesn't feel like enough.

It's that pattern then, no one specific example. More and more the personal power, not just the systematic power already built into Remnant, seems to be coming from the men. Not all the time, but enough that scenes like the tea drinking moment feel like a part of a much larger problem. Pietro taking control, Watts hacking, and Ambrosius literally remaking her when Penny is supposed to already be in control of herself and her fate. Winter being presented as the active mentor to Weiss, only to turn around and claim that Ironwood was actually responsible for everything. Ruby, Weiss, Blake, and May straight up commenting on how awful things are out there while Yang, Jaune, Ren, and Oscar lead the charge against Salem — with the latter three doing the most to forward that mission (no fear, semblance, cane). As others have only half-joked, Yang's supposedly badass moment was bringing up a mother she's ignored for six volumes and briefly blowing up the immortal woman for a couple of seconds (with Ironwood's bombs). Even Marrow is arguably the most significant Ace Op after Clover. Vine isn't actually a character, Elm slightly less so, Harriet is there to go crazy and try to drop a bomb (notably before admitting to never-before-existed feelings for Clover), but Marrow? He's the one who breaks out. Who is meant to heroically stand up against Ironwood. Who comments on how awful it is that teenagers are fighting and, regardless of how messed up the moral messages are, is supposedly pushing for active change while all the women in his group, including Winter, insist on maintaining the status quo. Look at all these choices as a whole, it makes throwaway worldbuilding choices like "All the Maidens are women" feel pretty hollow. Why does it matter if Amber is a Maiden if she dies in a flashback so Ozpin can struggle to pass on the power? If Pyrrha dies before becoming one so Jaune can angst about it? If Raven is one and then disappears from the story entirely? If Winter has enough power to break Ironwood's aura, but supposedly had no power throughout every other choice she made getting here? If Penny is one, but is continually controlled by men and then asks another man to help her die? It's just really unconvincing, once you look past the surface excitement of a woman looking cool with magic powers.

When you do consider the whole of the story — both in terms of our world building and who is forwarding the plot in the latter volumes, getting the emotional focus, being proactive, etc. — there are a lot of problems that undermine the presumed message RT wants to write. They say, "girl power" by marketing RWBY with these four women, but too many of the storytelling decisions thoroughly undermine that, revealing what's likely a deeply ingrained, subconscious bias.

[ldouble]

Slumming It | Kevin Atwater X Reader (Chicago PD)

summary: When pulled into an undercover op for the Intelligence Unit, you couldn’t be more excited. The only person who catches your hesitation is your boyfriend. A lot is unsaid in the bullpen, your relationship being one of them.

gif is not mine :)

“You keep looking at me like that and they’re gonna know you’re slumming it with a uniform.”

Your words were punctuated by the complete zip of the knee high leather boots. But it wasn’t till the hell smacks the concrete of the locker room does Kevin look up at you, unimpressed with your statement.

You tilted your head at him, hoping it aided your humor. All it did was send the little eye contact held fleeting.

“I’m not slumming it with a uniform.” Kevin shook his head toward the ground, until he realized what he just said. “I’m not slumming it with you, either.”

Your hands found the other boot, a sigh escaping your lips at how much the tight fitting accessory is going to fit. “You’re tripping up, Atwater,” It glided up with little effort, giving you the chance to cross your legs and look across the room. “I can see Ruzek getting on your ass already.”

“Can you stop with-”

“Or is Halstead sending a sly smirk at you?”

Your light heartedness has no place in the backlit changing room and even little place in a situation like this. Joking about your boyfriend’s friends finding out about his relationship, with you standing there dressed like a hooker, all while working an undercover op...you should’ve stuck with commenting about how the color of the dress did absolutely nothing for your eyes.

Still, Kevin would’ve found a way to call you out. He was quiet but that just meant he spent more time listening. He was done with your ill timed jokes.

“Sorry.” You bit your lip, knowing you pinched a nerve. You didn’t know what to worry about more - the way you just embarrassed yourself in front of a member of the Intelligence Unit or how you insulted your boyfriend.

You hated that the latter took priority.

You found Kevin’s eyes, too dark to read. But the look he was giving you - an analytical gaze mixed with what looked like frustration with the furrow in his brow - had you resorting back to your go-to.

“We uniforms aren’t used to working anyone other than a partner.”

You could hear the worry in your voice growing as each word entered the space. If the tone didn’t solidify his assumption, the choked laugh you gave did it. Nothing said “Can I do this?” like a meek laugh.

Girlfriends worried.

Cops did no such thing.

Straightening your posture you released your hair held in a tight ponytail. Shaking it out, you offered a smile. “Having your team at my disposal just got to my head for a second.”

Kevin pursed his lips, his arms crossed defensively over his chest. He looked great, done up in his own undercover wardrobe. Of course, his wasn’t as extreme as yours.

You were pretending to be a hooker. Short dress, fishnet stockings and heels that were nearly half your height. And that wasn’t including the heel. You hadn’t looked in the mirror after Trudy bombarded you. The amount of lipstick you could just feel on you made you want to wipe it off.

Kevin on the other hand was just supposed to be him. Tall and handsome, a drink of water to fit in right among the elites of this Hookah Bar you were raiding. Minus the badge, you could’ve sworn this look of a blazer and dark jeans had made an appearance at your front door. As well as your bedroom floor at one point or another.

He walked forward, hands finding your shoulders gently, his eyes pouring into yours. He took your breathe away. Or maybe that was the anxiety creeping up on you.

“We’re not at your disposal. We’re on your side.” You couldn’t help but lean into his palm as it crept up your shoulder. “We have your back.”

“Better you than this dress.”

Again, he didn’t find it funny. You sighed, nodding in all seriousness. “You have my back.”

Giving up on the idea of convincing him with a look of complete and utter confidence (you were saving that for the mission) you strode past him, grabbing the furry white jacket off the end of the bench.

On your way, you gave him some of the rope to tug at.

“That easy to tell I’m nervous?” You asked, slipped the fur over your shoulders.

He followed your steps, the pink handbag looking teeny in his grasp. “You uniforms got no damn poker face.”

You chuckle at that, feeling better with him in a joking mood. It was forced, you could tell by the way his tongue was sticking out between his lips, but you didn’t call it out. Humor came to everybody in their own ways. Yours was easier to cling to.

“Yeah, well without a uniform I’m sure it’ll get better.” You accepted the bag, twirling it in your fingers.

“Better?” Kevin asked with offense. “Gonna be the best. Why else would we bring you up?” He whispered in your ear as you made your way to the garage.

You pretended to think for a second before turning around, tiptoeing backwards and tracing his collar.

“For you to oggle me.”

The sound of the door opening snapped you back to reality. This was work. You might’ve been pretending to be a hooker but you weren’t on the job yet. Definitely not with a colleague who you would never do such a thing with.

Kevin caught the door, holding it open for you. As you walked past you gave your best respectable-just-another-day-in-the-office smile. But upon his next words, it was hard to keep it up.

“Like I’d show them I’m slumming it with you.”

----

Slumming it, you were definitely not.

You had quested the expensive dress placed in your locker. Why did a hooker did a $500 piece of clothing that barely covered her ass? Because as a high class hooker, expensive taste breeds....expensive tasters.

Men. With money.

But there was only one man you wanted.

He had money, sure.

But he also had guns.

A whole warehouse and business of illegal firearms. Chicago, ever the “Heart of America” was this guy’s selling point. Everything shipped here and then shipped out.

But a man he was. A man with needs. Expensive needs on short time. Besides, he had cash to burn. Made sense he booked it to this club, paid for a girl, had his way with her, and then was onto a business deal with a couple AK-47s by dawn.

Lucky you, getting a front row seat to it all.

You really hoped all you got was a seat. You really didn’t want to have to go to bed with this guy.

Jay would hopefully make sure of that. Imploring a deal on this guy’s “night out”. Who could resist making some money while spending it on something as pretty as me?

You gulped, remembering your first date with Kevin. He paid for the meal, quoting something similar. He couldn’t believe I had said yes to going out. He insisted on paying.

Tough as nails he was in his bullet proof vest. Beneath it, a teddy bear with manners of every mother’s dream.

“Aye, mami, how you doing?”

You turned to the fourth? fifth? guy who approached you, resisting the urge to roll your eyes. He was security, like every other guy who had hit on you yet, and not your target.

They really thought protecting their bosses wasn’t their job. Trying to catch the runner ups was their priortiy.

“Looking for something a bit better than that.” You heard Ruzek say over the comms.

“She’s got standards,” You looked over your shoulder toward Kevin, posted at a table near by. He sent a quick wink before finishing his statement. “As every girl should.”

“High ones, too.” You whispered.

You knew he was rolling his eyes, more so at you chiming in than your hint at your secret boyfriend’s height, but missed it since your view became full by another presence.

“Hi to you, too.”

Bingo.

You smiled at the man you had waiting for all night. One glance at his opening jacket, shimmering from the gun strapped in on both sides, and you knew this was the one. You’d been studying his face for weeks, of course. But nothing said arms dealer like...arms.

Arms that you felt wrapping around you.

Arms that you had to embrace.

It wasn’t the guy that had you nervous. Or the situation. Hell, you felt fine pretending to be a hooker. You had your team behind you.

You also had your boyfriend watching. That’s what made you resistance to accepting the embrace, taking in the fluttery whispers, and nodding at the invitation to his booth.

It was one thing to go undercover and flirt. A whole other when doing it in front of the one person you were undercover with and wanted to flirt with.

You were a cop first, you reminded yourself as you sat down on the plush velvet sofa. You were a cop, you repeated at lips found your neck.

Where the hell was Jay? Swooping in to make this deal? Get you out of this?

“Hey man, hate to intrude here.”

You froze for the first time at the sound of that voice.

A voice you loved to hear. But not here. Not with some other guy all up on you.

The dealer let his grip loosen on you and as he turned toward the newest addition to the booth you got your first clear look at it.

Your secret boyfriend.

Currently playing an undercover role he was not assigned to. All while you were undercover as a hooker attempting to get in good with a well known criminal.

The rest of the team was having just as much of a frenzy on your ear piece. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Jay panicking, not so much as ten feet away.

Kevin must’ve beat him to it.

Something told you it wasn’t the want to be the bad guy. Rather, break up the bad guy and you.

He had your back. Too much this time.

The target felt the same way, attempting to shake him off and coming back to you for more.

Your eyes met Kevin’s - more hallow than earlier - over the shoulder of the suspect. It sent you freezing again. What were you to do? Blow cover to save a relationship just as hidden? Or keep this going and lose something you never would’ve really had?

“I like seeing you work.” You giggled, gently pushing him off of you. Your eyes glimmered with fake admiration (really anxiety bubbling up) but it did the trick. You didn’t even have to use your line about how you would work for him later.

Taking the bait, he spun and began chatting with Kevin.

Unfortunately, he liked his work and play mixing. A hand found your leg, circling your knee. Kevin’s gaze never left the dealer’s but you could tell it was killing him. The toothpick, which had been loosely hanging out his mouth earlier, was now being gritted together so loud you could hear it over the music.

What was more obvious than his clear discomfort? The hand sneaking its way up your leg. No amount of disco lights or smoke from nearby bongs could hide the manly grasp on your thigh.

Even when he lifted your skirt up you couldn’t flinch. He was so close to admitting it all. He’d skimmed the numbers and the details but if Kevin pressed a little bit harder...

“Tell me more.”

Kevin’s eyes had swiftly found the connection on your leg. It wasn’t obvious enough for concern but his tone was. It was distant. Unfocused. Everything a dealer didn’t want in a deal, no matter the environment.

“You don’t seem interested in enough.”

“I am.” You giggled.

Damn. You were too quick to jump. He gave you a disapproving look and you could see it all falling. Everything you had worked for. Gone because you were trying to protect this case more than your real relationship.

“Not as much as me, girl.” Kevin spat.

He caught both of your attention’s, scooting closer. “I want armory. I know you have it. I can swear on the things you’re gonna do to this girl tonight, you can get it to be by tomorrow.”

OK, you weren’t the only one putting work before romance.

The thought scared you for a second but you had more to worry about. Most importantly, the feverish squeeze of your thigh that bloomed from the exciting prospect of a business deal.

The guy said it himself, shaking hands with Kevin and giving all the details we needed for a case.

You were stunned how good this was going. It was all falling into place.

Kevin seemed just as shocked too, sitting there silently...which was very unlike the bold player he was pretending to be.

Of course, no story has a perfectly happy ending.

The fault in the plan, the lack of calling out the safe word to trigger the team flying in.

The word slumming (your choice) barely crossed your mind before the guy’s lips were on yours and he was hurting you with such force.

You felt trapped for what felt like eternity (with your boyfriend looking on at least) but what was really seconds before he was ripped off of you.

“Get your hands off of her!” Kevin threw the guy on the ground, the gun in his belt loaded and aimed at his head.

He looked back at you once his hands were up, breathing heavy. OK, it had messed with his head as much as yours.

A little too much, though.

Because the next thing you knew, Kevin was kicked to the ground and the dealer was grabbing his own gun.

Thankfully, you were wearing a uniform more fit for the job.

In seconds you clashed with the arms dealer, hitting down hard on his hand to realize the gun in his grasp while simultaneously grabbing the other pistol from his pocket. Just as you lifted it up to aim it, Kevin was forcing him onto the booth, hands behind his back.

“Chicago PD!” Had just left your lips as the rest of the team came by. You breathed out, no longer having to play it cool.

Kevin was also given a break when Jay came in to take him away. In two steps he was in front of you, releasing the gun from your hand and pulling you close.

“I’m never letting you out of that uniform ever again.” He muffled into your head before tipping your chin up.

You smiled, cutting the distance between your lips till they grazed his when you spoke. “You can try all you want but I know you love seeing me out of it.”

Kevin pulled your close, squashing whatever space lay between you two.

“Woah, what’s going on here?” Ruzek called out with a holler, bringing you both to reality.

Out of the corner of your eye. you saw Kevin stumble a hand flying over his head as he thought on his feet.

You took a step forward, a hand on Kevin’s chest. “Kevin is slumming it with me, a uniform.”

Laughs erupted from the team, Voight shaking his head.

Kevin saddled up beside you, pulling you close once again.

“How many times I gotta say I’m not slumming it with you?”

“A million. “You shrugged. “I did have to lower my very high standards for-”

You words went unfinished as his lips found yours again.

You didn’t mind, thought. There’d be another undercover case sooner or later. You could tell him then how it was you who lucked out.

The End

[ch1giri]

heyy!! I found your blog recently and I really enjoy reading your writings! You’re an amazing writer! I’m really happy to see more Blue Lock content as well! Blue Lock is such an awesome manga and I love it so much! I look forward to more of your works! 💘

Could I also request maybe First Date headcanons with Sae, Rin, Nagi, Chigiri, Reo, Kunigami, Isagi, or any of the Blue Lock boys? Thank you!

Hi anon you are such a sweetheart thank you so much! This made my day (*≧з≦) I apologise for making you wait too long, I hope you'll like it! Also, sorry some of them were much longer than the others

First date headcanons

Characters: Sae Itoshi, Rin Itoshi, Nagi Seishiro, Reo Mikage, Chigiri Hyoma, Kunigami Rensuke and Isagi Yoichi

Sae Itoshi

• You have to be very special to catch his eye. He doesn't go just for anyone, but you, you're definitely special

• And once he confirms his feelings for you he confidently asks you out. Bonus points if you get flustered a bit, he thinks it's cute that he has that effect on you.

• Once you guys agree to go on a date this boy immediately rearranges his schedule around the date

• He tried suggesting that you two go on your first date in Spain or France. But you politely shut down his idea down, saying that he doesn't need to go overboard for your first date

• So you guys settle for a nice restaurant in Japan, he was a little bummed that he had to stay here but it's with you so he will manage

• Sae is a true gentleman, opens the door for you, pulls you out a chair, compliments you and pays for the meal

• If someone happens to see you two outside on a date tho, rumours will start immediately. But he couldn't give two shits tbh

• He would enjoy listening to your interests, Sae loves watching that spark light up in your eyes he knows the feeling of happiness that rushes through you when you talk about your interests.

• If they do happen to ask him about you on some press conferences he would just say: "Yes I'm currently dating someone, I don't get how is that related to my career."

• After your date, he would drive/walk you home and kiss you on your forehead. And when he comes back home he would have to fight the urge of buying some tickets for a foreign country to take you on your next date.

Rin Itoshi

• Like his brother, Rin seems very cold and calculated. So you have to be super interesting to catch his fancy

• Rin is introverted, so he wouldn't like to go out to some fancy restaurant. So he would take you out to the movies! He enjoys horror films so I feel like he would pick out a really good one

• After movies you guys would get ice cream and walk around, talking about anything and everything

• He would complain about all the lukewarm people he met in blue lock. And he would offer an ear to your complaints.

• He is so cute I swear, Rin is trying so hard to hide the smile that is stubbornly trying to show on his face. He doesn't want to blow his "cool guy" persona yet.

• He would walk you home and you would walk you home, but you would have to be one to initiate something. He wants to hug you, but the poor boy is just super embarrassed.

• When you hug him, or kiss him on the cheek. You can definitely see the red color creeping on his ears. When you two finally part your ways. Rin is letting that simle show, just this time it's much bigger and the pink dusting his cheeks is much more visible. But when he gets back home he puts on his cold facade

• He is not into PDA, so on your next date I feel like you two would walk around with your pinkies intertwined

Nagi Seishiro

• This one is a given, Nagi would totally take you out on an arcade date! He could effortlessly impress you, plus who doesn't love arcades?

• You two would play few intense rounds of air hockey. After the fifth time that you lost he let you win one round, just to see you jump around in victory

• After that you guys played some co op games, Mario Bros, Bubble Bobble and other classic

• Your small rivalry will continue as you guys start playing vs games like Street Fighter, Tekken and Mortal Kombat if you main Kitana you are immediately attractive idc again he will let you win just to see that cute smile on your face

• Please if you have the willpower make him play Taiko or DDR. At first he would be hesitant, because he thinks that it would require so much effort but if you bat your eyelashes he might just fall for your trap

• What can he say it's hard to resist when it comes to you. Surprisingly he is really good at Taiko, which of course earned a compliment from you "You should consider becoming a drummer." please just imagine drummer!Nagi what a concept

• Nagi saw you eyeing one of the toys in the claw machine and he just had to jump at the opportunity. So here you were with two milkshakes in your hands cheering Nagi on

• It took him a while but he got it in the end! He knows that you will treasure it, and the huge smile on your face was totally worth it

• You two walk to your house hand in hand and talk about all the games that you played you leave him with a kiss on the cheek and a promise to beat him fair and square next time

Reo Mikage

• This guy goes all out, like it's unreal how much effort he put in. The second you agreed to go out on a date with him he started planning everything out to the smallest detail

• A limo was waiting outside for you, I mean he did tell you to wear something nice, but you didn't expect this much

• He bought you flowers, he went as far as renting out the whole restaurant. Which is one of the most expensive in town.

• At first you felt kinda awkward, I mean isn't he going a bit too far? He probably spent a lot of money on this. But he reassured you that you deserve to be spoiled

• After some time you get much more comfortable, and you stop caring. You don't feel uncomfortable and out of place because Reo is there, and that's the only thing that matters

• After a very nice dinner made by the best cook in the country. You guys went on top of a tall building and just talked your hearts out, admiring the beautiful navy sky

• The limo took you guys back to your place and you were standing on your doorstep hoping that Reo would do something and he did!

• He kissed you! And you had to hold in a scream of happiness, after he left you ran into your room to let out that happiness by screaming into your pillow

Chigiri Hyoma

• Okay, you two would go on a study date! He feels like that's the best option, it's lowkey and he wouldn't feel as stressed to actually ask you out

• But just because the date seems casual, it doesn't mean he didn't carefully chose the location you two would go to. He checked all the local cafés and what food and drinks they serve

• He would choose the most beautiful café, a beautiful slow melody is bouncing around the room. The whole café was decorated with wood and plants, making it look like a whimsical forest

• You two ordered tea and got two Strawberry Shortcakes, Chigiri and you opened your books, you guys talked a bit about the harder subjects you have to get to eventually

• But as the conversation started to flow, you two kinda forgot about the pile of books you had on the table

• You talked about your favorite writers, and other hobbies you share, the tea was great and so was the Shortcake

• After a long talk, it was time to part your ways. Chigiri walked you home, and you guys just couldn't stop talking about everything and anything

• You didn't want to go and neither did he, so he immediately asked you out on a another date, and of course you were so excited

• When he left he just couldn't stop thinking about you, so he called you and the two of you talked for so long.

• Both of you couldn't wait to see each other again

Kunigami Rensuke

• The two of you would go to an amusement park! Eating delicious, colourful cotton candy as you guys talked about all the ride you want to go on

• Kunigami would win so many games, you would have so many stuffed animals by the end of it

• Like his hands were full and you were carrying two stuffed bears each settled into your hands

• You guys would ride the fastest, highest roller coasters. But if you are afraid of heights, that's okay too. There is a lot of other fun rides and games you can try

• You would go on the teacups and you would ride a carousel giggling like little children throughout all of it

• Kunigami suggested that you should visit the Haunted mansion, everything was fine at first, but then a second jump scare happened and then out of reflex Kunigami hit the poor worker in the head

• When the sun started to fall asleep and the sky splashed with orange gradients. The two of you went to a farriers wheel

• Walking home still laughing about the aftermath of the punch Kunigami accidentally landed and your hands full with the stuffed prizes, he asked you out on a next date

Isagi Yoichi

• Isagi took you out on a picnic! At first he was kinda hesitant to ask you out. He can get really insecure at times and you are just so perfect he thought you were way out of his league

• When you said yes, he was the happiest he ever felt it's the same feeling he gets when he scores a goal

• In an attempt to surprise Isagi, you decided to make some sandwiches

• Isagi had the same idea tho, so when you two met up, both of you were holding baskets full of food earning an angelic laugh from Isagi

• The field looked beautiful, it was filled with flowers and some kids were running around. The two of you sat on a blanket right under a blossoming cherry tree

• Munching on some sandwiches, you talked about anything and everything

• After you stuffed your faces with food, Isagi suggested that you two play football. And you eagerly agreed

• Sure, maybe you aren't the best football player. But seeing the spark that is dancing in his eyes is totally worth running around trying to kick a ball

• To your surprise, you played football for hours laughing and playfully bickering

• And everything was fine until the rain began to fall. Quickly starting to pack your things up, Isagi looked for the shelter

• The two of you ran to safety, never dropping your smiles, your hair and clothes totally wet by now

• Your house was closer so that's where you went. You begged Isagi to stay until the rain stopped. And he oh was he embarrassed, he's never been in a girl's room and now here he is. Changing into some clothes you had laying around while you were making tea for the both of you

• After some time passed, Isagi finally got comfortable and you laughed the whole situation off

• When the rain stopped, it was time for him to go even though you didn't want him to

• He thanked you for the stuff you lent him. Promising to return them on the next date

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket Manga Review , ch 109

-The Tragedy of a an episodic format attempting to connect narrative in a series: (Tohru’s Background or Kyo’s Focus?)

One of my issues with se03, ep6 (other than it being 3 chapters combined horribly with new material added for shock value) is that it was weakly undecided who would be the focus? who would the narrative follow?: Is it tohru’s own pov abt herself? is it the gramps giving boring exposition abt tohru over weak still images of flashbacks or is kyo thinking abt tohru’s pain?

The truth is, it was all the above in the manga, but the manga gave each a chapter focus so that the chapter is well-directed with focused narrative. The anime weakly jumbled the 3 chapters together as they always do. You mix chapters & tada~ you got an ep, you only need a broad weak theme that connects the dots! here: it is tohru! & that’s it. As long as the 3 chapters discuss tohru in any form & manner, nothing will seem off if we put them next to each other in a 20 minute ep! right? riiiiiight ????

.. this was never a correct way. Just like a chapter needed a narrative direction, the ep is the same!!

ch 107: The beginning of tohru’s pov on her realization abt loving kyo.

ch108: tohru’s full pov of shock upon reaching the conclusion that she loves him & the beginning of her mom’s issues & abandonment.

ch109: Kyo’s pov abt tohru’s pain & his involvement, guil & the sheet hug.

ch110: (completely cut from the anime!!!!!!!!!!!!!) Kyoru’s part: the aftermath of kyo & tohru crossing the line of being in the most vulnerable & intimate, building towards a more crushing impact of the climax. The stronger & more painful their love is, the more it will hurt. Also a yuchi buildup?!!!!

-so, you see each chapter has a direction i& a narrative it follows independently that is weaved together to make a connected tissue of the overall plot. The anime puts the 3 chapters next to each other & we are lost on who to follow? kyo or tohru or the gramps. That’s why it feels tohru is weak & her two chapters worth of pov is stolen from her cuz it cut or shortened to include the grandpa, kyo, isuzu, shigure & let’s not forget (kazuma, yuki & haru) at the beginning, the dramatic shock value addition & OP & ED. All these take valuable screen time. The ep shocks us by moving from tohru to kyo. One minute she’s crying with him on the streets, next he’s at the grave & she’s visiting isuzu.

Kyo said he isn't going to the grave in the ep, upon seeing him actually going, I just assumed he wanted to avoid, hana, cuz I’m so invested in his story that I remember sth happened in se1, ep 14.. ages ago, The anime didn’t even allow kyo to inner talk abt avoiding hana... In their weird mind, kyo only inner talks in dramatic situations..See the difference!

Not only the writer (a) reminds us why kyo avoided the grave visit, she also (b) seized the opportunity to shine lifht onto an issue that will be the center of kyo’s struggles: Running away!

The anime introduce this in kyo’s pov only when kyo confronts tohru. Only when it was needed & couldnt be avoided. This is sth that will be the core of all the climax & the aftermath as well! Kyo running away.. How bad are you if you avoid inserting one line only that can be said in few seconds & establish great deal & foreshadow plenty!!!!!!!!!! I can’t for the life of my understand why short lines are cut from kyo when in the anime they have him be standing silent in the graveyard. Like slap the line above the silent scene!!!!! But doing so means the anime team understands tohru & kyo’s issues. They don’t. Not the slightest.

-Ep 6 signals the beginning of the anime moving from episodic format of se1, 2 & 5 eps of se3 & entering a connect plot. The anime doesn’t know how to do that & screwed tohru in the process. The protagonist’s main issues are one ep worth only. The antagonist main issues are one ep only (ep7).  Ep 6, was treated as a stand alone ep (minus the inserted shock scene to create a lingering issue that needs a following ep to explain. TOLD YOU they don’t know how to make a series!). Thus the following ep 7 is akito’s focus. Everything that was established in ep 6 was pit on hold until akito reaches the craziest mindset for the climax. See why ep 6 was so bad? it is Should NOT be a stand alone ep.

-The plot connects kyoru emotional & physically: (Kyo’s chapter with a tohru’s focus:

Unlike the anime, the chapter knows what it’s presenting 7 where it’s going. Kyo’s issues. This ch focuses on him uncovering parts of his past as it connects with tohru’s. Unlike the anime, we know why kyo's connection to kyoko’s past. The anime is hiding this for the climax, no problem, it can still work both ways. However, hiding kyoko /kyo connection doesn't necessarily mean hiding kyoko/tohru connection. But the anime is cutting this to milk it in an ova or series next year~ no problem,  it can still work if you handle this ep’s  flashback better. for all the artistic creativity they inserted in the added scene, they failed miserably in tohru’s flashback portion. how?

By choosing a frontal pov shot in tohru’s grandpa flashback as if the audience are the ones who abandoned tohru or opening the door to find her alone. it does NOT work at all. why? the audience are encouraged to be like tohru since ep 1 as tohru is the mother, angel, fixer & endearing hopeful girl. The audience will NEVER abandon tohru, that’s why tohru’s story felt disconnected & weak in the anime. Not knowing what kyoko did, who would abandon such child?! differently not us. so why use the frontal pov shot? -_-’

-tohru confesses her pain to kyo without being ushered by isuzu, without any outside factor. She simply visited the grave & came home. hiding her pain. once again. like she always do. One question by kyo, prompts her to “ complain a little” call back to se1, ep5 as he advised. we see tohru get out of her shell little by little. NOT SCREAM OR SLAP. She opened up. why? cuz the story is abt “ opening the lid” not abt “ snatching the lid”. No need for shocks. Yuki opened his lide slowly, tohru even slower, kyo is resisting opening his altho it is cracking in this chapter. When your story focuses on character buildup it pays!

-I’ll give the anime credit when it due. The hug scene is so good both in manga & anime. but so awesome in animation, colors, music & voice acting. It’s breathtaking & painful. The most beautiful kyoru scene in the whole anime.

-It represents their mutual vulnerability, understanding, pain & determination to love the other but not also let go. kyo has made his mind to be locked in order not to hurt tohru & tohru has made her mind that she can’t let go of her mom.

You see, the scene’s meaning hits different between manga & anime; In the anime: tohru has already challenged the sohmas & screamed to be with kyo, while kyo is still decided to leave her. In the manga: they’re both at the same spot (undecided). I like both interpretations but I’ll choose the manga’s version. Simply cuz it means tohru is still uncovering her issues which means more focus on her, & more explanation of why cant tohru love her mom & kyo at the same time.

-This expression on tohru’s face is a the complete opposite of the shock value expression in ep 6! T_T. I do’nt even hate the shocked scene addition itself that much, I just think (a) this is NOT its time! Tohru deserved better spotlight! (b) kyo didn’t friggen forget! ah! THIS I HATE! (c) the whole shocked scene was so wasted in ep 7. tohru return to her stupid dumb lalala~ land, cooking & forgetting kyo. what growth? what determination & screams to isuzu? what enduring kagura’s slaps? nope! just happy & cooking, lalala~ no one was freaking over her mom’s picture~ lalala~ & kyo just slept it over~ shhhh... its okay. he’ll forget again... see? totally wasted!

The anime knows nothing abt connected narrative! augh!

Side Notes:

We see kyo asking the gramps why he’s offering him info abt tohru which is so logical! XD. I love it.

I’ve read ch 110 & wanted to insert the kyoru scene in ch 110 here, & put yuchi alone in a different post, then I realized I’ll need to talk abt it again once I analyze yuki’s own expressions! XD. so, I’ll put all ch 110 together in one post. It kinda half written by now, so I’ll publish it very soon in two days time. I didn’t read ch 111 yet tho.

I hope ch 110 is the last I feel this much disappointments in furuba’s anime & by ch 11, it hopefully be be minor changes altho I doubt that cuz the manga needed to dwell into tohru’s mindset & the anime kinda stopped after ep 6. so, yup! more big changes coming!

The sheet hug is so brilliant in theory & application! so romantic & so endearing! love it so much! The anime did it so well, too!

I love kyo’s narration & pov cuz it’s so refreshing change from the anime where he rarely does!

I really wish they kept the kyoko abandoning tohru part in the anime... sigh~ it has nothing much to affect her story with katsuya. so it won’t ruin the spin off/ ova or whatever it’s called. 

I love the light focus on tohru in this chapter & how organic & natural it is opposed to how forced the plot seems in the anime....

[kjmsupremacist]

Felix sweet boy baby angel but Christopher Bang is literally Satan? Idk if you saw but Hyunjin ratted him out on live and said the lyrics for Red Light were toned down. I don’t want to know. I don’t. He was already talking about edging and I don’t want to know. He can keep his Scorpio Venus and his Sag Mars away from me and everyone I love. I would give anything to know his rising if sign. It’s giving Earth but there’s so much air in his chart it’s hard to be sure. 🤖

i am so happy you sent me this ask because i have been looking for an excuse to talk about red lights. I sent leon and margot a seven minute long voice message when i was doing my research for my red lights-inspired fic like that's where i'm at.

First, yes, I saw Hyunjin's comments! that's what chris gets for trying to say hyunjin wrote all the lyrics in the first place. nice try, chris. also, his scorpio venus is SEXY. i won't be taking criticism on this opinion.

Now. Please see under the cut if you want to watch me dissect Red Lights -- both the lyrics and the MV.

so, credit where credit's due--I skimmed this and this reddit posts while I was doing my research.

now. we all know that on the surface, this song is about sex (and specifically bondage and edging—that much is clear). but, ah, how's the saying go? "everything is about sex except for sex, which is about power"? sure.

yeah, it's meant to be sexy. they did that for us and im still not sure if I want to kill them for it or thank them with my life. BUT, as they mentioned in the howl in harmony video, it's primarily a song about obsession.

The first reddit post does a great (albeit kind of aggressive) breakdown of the lyrics, where it becomes really clear that they're talking about the relationship they have with their work and the relationship they have with fans. In essence, the song is about how they want to give their lives and all their time to making more content for fans so that they will continue to receive love from us. The red lights are actually the recording light on a camera (hence the line “set the mic up”).

And so a relationship like the one depicted here is dark and intense, and yes—passionate and driven by love—but ultimately, it consumes itself in the vortex of its own desire, and then peters out into a sort of blank monotony—learned through repetition, a habitual reflex instead of a true reaction.

Then, the second reddit post goes on a deep dive of some of the symbolism seen in the MV—specifically, the use of kink. This is where it gets really fun.

We mostly see Hyunjin in shibari-style bondage. OP posits (and I agree) that he is meant to represent passion without discipline. The shibari ropes are tied messily (and so therefore dangerously) which is perfect for representing how often kink (and other obsessions) can devolve—you plunge in headfirst, but you are directionless except for the insistent tug in your gut that cries for more, more.

Chan, on the other hand, is seen primarily (esp in solo scenes) bound by heavy chains. He represents discipline with no passion. In the Howl in Harmony video, I believe he mentions that after a long day of practice, he'll still find himself in the recording studio, even though he's tired. He does what he has to on autopilot, because he knows he must, because it’s the only thing he feels he can do.

If Hyunjin is mania, then Chan is depression. The chains are GREAT symbolism because this dutiful march towards burnout and beyond is, as the lyrics suggest, stemming from a desire to keep receiving love (from fans)—that if you just work hard enough then no one will ever leave you. You wish to bind the person (or people) you love to you, but in the end the bonds only weigh you down.

So then the part where they’re tied together, back to back, at the end, shows when passion and discipline come into balance. And that’s creation for the love of creation while still maintaining a respect for yourself, the art, and your audience. (or idk. maybe they just thought we'd like to see them tied to one another. and they were right).

It's also fun because while we see Hyunjin and Chan both assume positions of domination and submission, it's clear Chan is meant to be the “dominant force” here (hence discipline). The reason we do see instances of Hyunjin in power (choking Chan, standing over him on the table) is because any somewhat healthy d/s relationship involves first the surrender of power. The dom is only perceived to be in power because the sub first relinquishes it them. So. You know.

I will say I'm not sure what to say about the edging theme (BNKSJDF) besides the obvious—almost giving you what you want, but not quite.

And finally, this is not part of either of those two reddit posts, but I was ENTHRALLED by the use of mirror and mirror-esque imagery throughout the MV and in the choreo. I love mirrors as a symbol so we're going to talk about that, too.

First and most obviously, it may be a bit on the nose. In art, mirrors and reflections are often used to show that there is a deeper meaning than what is clear on the surface. So this might have just been hyunchan going "hey! it's not just about sex!"

but I think there's more to it than that. Mirrors are often used as a vessel of truth—in some Chinese myths, for example, mirrors can repel demons, as they will show a demon’s true form. Or see the Little Mermaid—though Ursula managed to change her outward appearance, she was caught in her lie when another character (sebastian, i think?) saw her reflection in the mirror.

Additionally, one’s reflection used to be thought to contain one’s soul—which is why mirrors were covered in the home of person who had just passed, so they would not be trapped as a ghost in the world of the living.

For this reason, mirrors are often also considered dangerous. Think of Narcissus, for a start, who fell in love with his own reflection and sat at the water's edge, pining, until he fucking died. Or consider the following quote (which I love) from Fernando Pessoa:

“Man shouldn’t be able to see his own face – there’s nothing more sinister. Nature gave him the gift of not being able to see it, and of not being able to stare into his own eyes. Only in the water of rivers and ponds could he look at his face. And the very posture he had to assume was symbolic. He had to bend over, stoop down, to commit the ignominy of beholding himself. The inventor of the mirror poisoned the human heart.”

We use mirrors to watch ourselves watching ourselves (and the Margaret Atwood who lives in our heads cries “male fantasies, male fantasies! You are you own voyeur!”). We perform for the mirror—often what we see in the mirror is not actually how we are seen by others! We think we may find truth there, when in reality it is a distortion. Ties itself up really nicely, I think.

In any case, this really goes well with the theme of obsession in the song—staring in the mirror asking, what do others see? What is wrong about me? What can I do better? The idea of looking in the mirror to seek what others see, both positive and negative, is common throughout. And I think their use of mirrored choreo (esp when it seems like one of them is the reflection!!), as well as mirror placement on the set of the mv, and ESPECIALLY the lovely bit at the end where they both stand staring carefully at their own reflections, all work to drive that theme home.

and i don't even know how to touch on all the color symbolism (when it changes between color and b&w?? the palette being overwhelmingly yellow and red and black???), or the lens filters (warping, blurring, etc), or the way they superimposed pieces of the video on top of other pieces, or the use of that one stark white background—without writing a fucking dissertation (and this is already a ridiculously long post) so i'll just stop here.

This is all to say, maybe what they meant was that the lyrics were a lot more aggressive about these themes and they were asked to tone them down to keep it neutral.

or maybe they're just sexy, sexy motherfuckers and their managers bonked them on the head and sent them to horny jail.

[marvelmymarvel]

Lonely

Orochimaru x Reader

Synopsis: Time and distance didn’t matter when it came to Orochimaru, but you hated feeling so lonely without him.

Song: ilomilo by Billie Eilish (Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lH1F6m3slrQ)

A/n: Its long, I get that he seems out of character. Idc. I love him. No shame. 

They called you many things. A loser, a weirdo, a traitor... So many names that you lost track of them all, but none of them mattered when it came to him. You personally didn’t understand it yourself, why you left the Leaf Village in search of the man who killed your Hokage. Being apart of the ANBU black ops made the escape 10x more difficult and dangerous, as they now considered you a threat to the village. You knew too much, but none of it mattered.

Only he did.

At first, the pale man was annoyed by your presence and how you kept popping up at every single hideout he moved to. He tried and tried again to get rid of you, even going so far as sicking his ninja on you, instructing them to rough you up and scare you away. But they did much more than that and left you to die outside of yet another hideout you found. They figured that killing you was easier than sending Orochimaru’s stupid warning, so they never told him and continued on with their life. 

It was quiet for a week, but soon enough his henchmen dragged you into yet another secret hideout. He was running out of options and even Kabuto was growing agitated by your constant presence, but something in the air changed that day. The guards threw you down in front of him, your body littered with bruises and cuts. Orochimaru sat up straighter in his chair, taking in the sight of your unconscious and bloody body in the middle of the room. They had done a number on you and something stirred inside of the pale man at the view of your vulnerable body.

The guards looked up at their boss, expecting reassuring praise for their work but all they got was a snarl. “I told you to scare her... Not beat her half to death” Kabuto hissed out as he stomped over towards them angrily, he felt his master's temper flare and he was not about to be the punching bag for an idiotic decision that wasn’t his. The guards sputtered out excuses, claiming that you never listened to their threats, and decided that maybe beating you to death would help everyone out.

‘Death’

The word struck a chord within Orochimaru who was now crouched over your body, hand shakily brushing the blood away from your mouth. He was terrifyingly silent as if he was a bomb with no timer. The three men grew silent while they took in the oddly soft and caring caress. It should have been shocking to see such a sweet action, but it only made the fear grow within the two guards. Kabuto side-eyed them, they didn’t know it but he knew Orochimaru was seconds away from exploding.

“What do you want me to do with them?”

The two guards headshot to Kabuto, mouth gawking as they tried to explain how they were doing Orochimaru a service. They explained and explained how you were a creep, a weirdo, and a threat, they had to get rid of you. Kabuto ignored it but secretly prayed for them to shut up before Orochimaru killed them himself. His patience was growing thinner the more he caressed your bloody skin and hearing how they talked about you only sped up that process, he was 10 seconds away from snapping... But something felt off. 

“Kill them, slowly and painfully. Do the same thing to them as they did to her” 

Their loud pleading soon became a muffled cry as they were hauled out by the other guards standing by. Kabuto stood by the door, observing the way Orochimaru sat down beside you. His hand trailed slowly to your face before a blue light emitted between his skin and yours. Kabuto’s eyebrows furrowed, Orochimaru knew some medical ninjutsu, but he hadn’t used it for years since it drained him.

“Do you need something Kabuto?” 

Kabuto perked up with a sharp inhale, embarrassed that he had been caught staring at the exchange. Orochimaru didn’t seem bothered and instead moved his glowing hand down to your stomach where blood was pooling from a deep wound. “Would you like me to get the medical ninja sir?” silence filled the room but the words hung heavy in the air, it was dangerous to assume that Orochimaru cared but he couldn’t shake the feeling that something changed.

“Yes” Orochimaru’s whisper hit Kabuto’s ears and without another word, he left to go get the medical ninja who could heal you much more than Orochimaru ever could. Leaving Orochimaru with only his thoughts and your limp body-

“Oh tell it again Kabuto!” you exclaimed cutting off the man right as the story was beginning to end. It had been months now since the incident occurred, but you couldn’t get enough of the way the pale man treated your unconscious form. Kabuto rolled his eyes at your hopeless romantic ways but according to Orochimaru, he had to do whatever you wanted. Kabuto opened his mouth again but a heavy sigh falling from your lips stopped him short. 

“What's the matter? I thought you liked the story-”

“If he really cared about me, he would show it.. But he doesn't” Kabuto’s mouth shut at your words, because in all honesty, you were right. The softness that Orochimaru showed you that day was never repeated and you were now treated like everyone else. It wasn’t what you hoped for, but you were able to see Orochimaru once a month... 

Your frown deepened at the thought, coldness spreading within your body as you once again grew lonely. Kabuto was your only friend and even that was a stretch as he was growing quite annoyed with taking care of you. Silence filled the stale air of your room deep inside of the hideout, it was the 5th one this month and each left you disoriented and afraid. It was supposed to be designed this way, so intruders would have a tough time finding their way through it, but you hated it. 

Kabuto knew this, which is why the first couple of days in a new place meant 24-hour surveillance and company in the hopes of breaking you into the new atmosphere. Your feet kicked at the ground below you, lip pulled between your teeth as you fought back tears. It was silly really, an ex ANBU being afraid of a windowless and disorienting place, but you couldn’t help it. “I get it if you think I’m weak... They did too” you whispered out as you swiftly wiped away your falling tears, hoping he wouldn’t see them but knowing he did.

He always did.

Kabuto pursed his lips in response, while he had been taking care of you he had also learned a lot about you. Partly because he was curious, but mainly because Orochimaru asked him to. ‘I want you to learn everything about her, and report it back to me’  Orochimaru would instruct nonchalantly as if there was no sentimental meaning behind his words, but Kabuto knew better. There was something different in the way he said it as if he cared for you. It was a weird way of showing his care, but Kabuto never questioned it and instead asked you questions ranging from ‘what's your favorite color?’ to ‘why did you leave the ANBU?’

And the ANBU question was what made your walls come crashing down. 

“The ANBU simply couldn’t handle a sensitive person like you... Sensitive people aren’t meant for that group” Kabuto stated simply knowing that their hatred for you was pure jealousy. Those in the ANBU were beaten down until there was nothing left but a soldier, it was effective but apparently, you were able to get through it and still smile like an innocent child. Teasing you became a game, and they even tried to see who could make you cry the fastest. That fact shocked Kabuto when he learned about it, but telling Orochimaru was a whole other story. 

He remembered that day. Remembered how Orochimaru halted in place over his experiments, back growing tense as the anger rose within him. That was the same day that Kabuto realized what was going on with his master. He would never dare tell Orochimaru, nor would he ever tell you for fear of backlash, but he could never and would never forget that tense feeling in the air. So protective. So angry. His boss lied when he said he didn’t care for you...

He was in love with you. 

Your nodding brought Kabuto from his memories, sometimes he hated being honest with you as the tears only continued to cascade down your cheeks. He couldn’t fix you, couldn’t heal you... That wasn’t his job and if he tried to do it... Well, he may lose his head.

Fighting the urge to give you a hug, Kabuto instead stood and swiftly walked to the door. “You should get some rest... Traveling always tires you out” his cold tone only seized your heart up more, once again feeling alone in the small room. Sometimes you wished that Kabuto would stay until you fell asleep, but you weren’t a child and he wasn’t your friend. 

“Okay” your whimper made him bite his lip in regret and he was thankful that his back was facing you so that you couldn’t see it. ‘Babies have to cry it out’ he repeated in his head as he exited quickly from your room, leaving you alone as the door closed behind him. He stood there for a second, bouncing on his feet as he prayed for you to calm down without him. You had to learn to self soothe, or you’d never make it here.

Leaning his ear against the door, the soft sound of your sniffling hit his ears but for the first time in the past couple of weeks, he didn’t hear sobbing. Letting out a sigh, he began to walk away from the room and towards the lab where he would soon relay all of the information to Orochimaru. Everything except your crying of course.

He never told him about that...

You let out the sob as you heard his footsteps grow quiet, signaling that Kabuto was gone and you were now alone. The sharp wail that fell from your lips surprised even you, causing your hand to fly over your open mouth to quiet it down. The feeling of loneliness ached within your bones, and coldness seeped into your skin despite the room being muggy. 29 days. It had been 29 days since you last saw Orochimaru. You didn’t know why, but the man soon became your rock and the reason you were breathing.

And you hated it.

Hated how easy you fell for him. Hated how lonely you felt without him. Hated how scared you were when he was out on a mission. You hated it, yet you loved him. The silent sobs that racked your body calmed down as the thought of him soothed your tight chest. Closing your eyes, you lifted your hands and crossed your arms. Your left hand touched your right cheek first and by the time your right touched your left cheek, your anxiety had vanished. It made you sigh out in relief, the action tricking your brain into thinking that your face was being cradled. 

You imagined it was Orochimaru holding you instead, an action he’s done only once, but you never forgot the way he felt or how he smelt. A tear slipped down and your thumb swiped it away automatically, this was becoming a nightly routine of yours. It seemed pathetic, but it was the only way you knew how to self soothe. You laid onto your side, moving one hand under your head while the other continued to caress your jaw soothingly. The bed was cold, but you didn’t mind. Instead, you fell asleep to the thought of Orochimaru holding you, his tight and warm embrace reassuring you that you were safe and sound. 

If only it was real. 

Your body jolted awake but the nightmare still flashed in your head like a neverending movie. The candle had burned out, leaving you in the darkness of a room you didn’t know. Breathing seemed to grow harder as you tried to adjust to the darkness, but it seemed to encapsulate you like a coffin. Standing swiftly, you raced over towards the door, throwing it open in the hopes of meeting a brightly lit hall. 

Your blood ran cold as you peered into the dimly lit hall, the walls and ceiling were carved in a way that made your world tilt around you as your stomach twisted in fear. “Orochimaru” you cried out softly, stumbling into the hallway in the hopes of finding him along the way. The hall was neverending and seemed to grow darker the farther you ran down it. “Orochimaru!” your scream echoed down the hall as you slowed down to catch your breath. 

You urged your heart rate to slow down, but it only raced faster as the torches around you blew out, leaving you in utter darkness. A soft sob fell from your lips before you once again began to run forward. You kept crying out for him as if he’d be able to hear you. As if he would care. Your body crashed into a wall, knocking all of the breath from your body as you tumbled to the floor. Silence filled the space around you, the only sound being your broken sobs as you gripped the floor for dear life. 

The nightmare seemed to come back and you could no longer discern what was real and what was fake. Were you still dreaming? Were the ANBU here to kill you? Did they leave you to die? Did Orochimaru leave you to die? “Oro” you cried out weakly, wincing at just how broken you sounded. Pushing up from your position on the ground, you tried to fight back the feeling that bubbled up in your chest. You had to know if it was real, was this real?

Before you could stop it, you opened your mouth and let out a blood-curdling scream. Your fingers screaming in pain along with you as you gripped the stone below you harder, grounding yourself as your body let out the feelings you’d been holding in for months now. The scream cut off, and you geared up for another one, wanting to chase that freeing feeling of just letting it all out.

“Now now, why are you out of bed?” 

An arm wrapped around your waist and the scream in your throat faded out as the words hit your ears. The previous scream echoed down the hall as his words echoed through your head. The torches were once again illuminated, as if they were never extinguished to begin with. Black hair fell over your shoulder and a familiar smell filled your senses, wrapping you in a bubble of protection. Your head snapped up at the sound of feet and you realized that guards were surrounding you two. 

“Orochimaru” you whispered out, hand trailing down to grasp the hand that was tightly gripping your hip. His arm clenched around your waist at the feeling of your shaky hand, snarling at the way the guards approached you in rage. “You can all leave” Orochimaru growled, eyes snapping to Kabuto who stood in front of them all. “Sir, she left her room without permission-”

“LEAVE” 

You squeaked in surprise, body contracting into his as the men fled from their angry boss. Kabuto stood still, swallowing as he took in the way Orochimaru stared at him. He hadn’t been honest with him, in fact, he never told Orochimaru about your constant crying. But now, he knew everything. The anger grew within Orochimaru’s body as he felt you relax within his embrace, this was all you wanted. “I didn’t want to bother you about it sir” Kabuto stuttered out, hand scratching the base of his neck sheepishly. 

Orochimaru stayed silent, but his body tensed behind you as he began to process it all. You had been crying yourself to sleep every night, and not once did Kabuto tell him. Your e/c eyes met Kabuto’s, and you didn’t blame him for staying silent. “I told him not to tell you” you whispered out as your other hand rose to touch Orochimaru's face behind you. It was clumsy considering you couldn’t see where your hand was, but you smiled as he leaned into it nonetheless.

A couple seconds passed, but you noticed the way the atmosphere shifted from tense to relieved. Without another word, Orochimaru stood and helped you up with him. He was still glaring at Kabuto, knowing that you were lying to save him... But, if you lied to him of all people, then maybe Kabuto meant something to you. Hurt panged in Orochimaru’s chest, a wave of new anger rising within him at the thought of Kabuto spending so much more time with you than he did. “You’re relieved of your duties” Orochimaru muttered, arms tightening around your body in a silent display of dominance. 

Kabuto nodded before turning and walking back to his own quarters, thankful that he only got a threatening glare instead of a torturous death. Orochimaru tried to calm down the rising fear bubbling under his chest at the thought of Kabuto somehow stealing you from him. Your arms tightened around him, head snuggling underneath his chin as euphoria coursed through your veins. The nightmare and worries were now long forgotten as you cuddled deeper into the taller man's body. 

Looking down at you, Orochimaru fought back a smile at the peaceful look on your face. Eyes closed and lips pulled up into a dreamy smile. If he didn’t know it before, he realized it now as he looked down upon you. The painful feeling he got in his chest whenever Kabuto came back with an update. The way his heart sped up at the sight of you. The restless nights he encountered as he worried about your wellbeing. How his mind wandered to you whenever he worked in the lab. 

He hummed at the thought before pulling you deeper into his body, arms tightly wrapped around you like a shield. He loved you, it had been quite a while since he loved someone... “Why were you so persistent? Why did you choose me?” your eyes snapped open at his question, but you refused to look at him as you grew embarrassed. 

“I-I...”

His fingers grasped your chin, craning your neck and forcing you to look at him. His slitted pupils were blown out, yet you weren’t sure if it was because of the dim lighting or something else. “Tell me. I need to hear it” Orochimaru whispered as his face got closer to yours, it wasn’t meant to intimidate you but he couldn’t help but grow a bit giddy at how you recoiled in shame. “When I saw you, I knew that you were my... It's silly” you had managed to move your chin from his grasp, eyes casting downwards as you shook your head at the thought. 

Orochimaru gripped your chin once more, this time a bit harder as he forced you to look back at him. His mouth was inches from yours, and it felt like all of the wind was knocked out of you by how close he was. His breath fanned out onto your face, causing goosebumps to erupt across your skin. He didn’t have to say anything, for the action was enough to reassure you that he didn’t care how silly it was. 

He had to hear it... He had to hear what Kabuto told him long ago.

“I knew you were my soulmate... I know it's crazy and I’ve only told Kabuto but-” You were spun around before you could finish, back crashing into the wall as Orochimaru shoved his lips against yours. It was heavy while he kissed you feverishly as if you were the only thing that could bring his excitement down. You moaned into his mouth, teeth clashing with his in response to the sudden move. Your arms wrapped around his neck, pulling him down for better access while his hands wandered along your body. He wanted to learn and remember every single feature of your body, he had so much to catch up on. 

After what felt like a minute Orochimaru finally pulled back, leaving you a flustered mess below him. One of his hands cradled your cheek, softly caressing the skin with his thumb as he took in the view. Your eyes shut at the feeling, remembering how only hours ago, you wished to feel this exact action. “Can I be honest with you?” you whispered out, eyes still shut in fear of him rejecting your question. When you were met with silence, you decided to continue.

“I don't like being away from you... It scares me” 

The tightened grip on your cheek was the only indicator that he wasn’t upset with you, in fact, it almost felt like he was upset with himself. “Then you shall never leave my side” serenity filled your bones, replacing the loneliness that once laid heavy within them with a lighter, happier feeling. You would never be alone again. 

“C-can I stay with you? In your room I mean... I feel so lonely in my room” he didn’t answer your plea and instead pressed his head against yours, hoping you’d understand that when he said you’d be by his side forever. He meant it. His lips met the tip of your nose, the action leaving you bewildered in his embrace. Orochimaru wasn’t one for ‘soft’ things, that much you had learned in a couple of months being around him. 

Opening your eyes, you were relieved to see that his eyes were closed. A smile formed on your lips as you took in his blissed out face, maybe he was lonely too... Maybe, just maybe he needed you as much as you needed him. That question may never be answered, but it didn’t have to be. Because no one could deny it, he was your soulmate.

And you were his.

[okskz]

Showterview.

Elsy + Jessi

elsy appears on jessi’s showterview

hope you guys enjoy! please feel free to leave some feedback because it is always appreciated!

italics = english

[8th Member of Got7/Soloist]

“Today we are here at the PNation building.” Jessi smiled as she spoke through her mic. She was reading off from her cards. “Someone we are going to meet is in rehearsals, but we are going to be interrupting. I’m sure this person won’t mind.” She let out a laugh, looking straight at the camera. “Let’s go!”

Jessi, plus the camera crew were now standing in front of the door of the dancing room. Giving it a few knocks, Jessi had opened the door, revealing Elsy in the middle of the room.

Elsy had stopped her movements, laughing once seeing Jessi. “Hello, hello.” She said, going in to hug Jessi. The two have met already, even before Elsy had joined the company, but now they saw each other a lot more often.

“Have you heard of my show called Showterview?” Jessi asked Elsy, the girl nodding in response. “Okay, well today you are our special guest.” Jessi grinned.

“Should I be nervous?” Elsy chuckled a bit. She knew Jessi had no filter, which Elsy had no mind with. She felt like she could really be herself around Jessi.

“No, girl. No.” Jessi flipped her hair back. “Who do you think I am?” Everyone, even the camera crew began laughing.

They now sat on two tall, directors chairs to begin the small interview. Elsy having her leg crossed over the other as she listened to Jessi. “Okay, okay.” Jessi began, reading her cards. “Elsy is one of the newest members of PNation after leaving your other company. What made you choose this company, out of all the other companies there is out there?”

Jessi paused for a moment. “I’m not saying this is a bad company!” She laughed out loud. “Sorry, Psy. I’m very thankful to be here.”

Elsy was laughing too before going in the answer Jessi’s question. “Many companies were reaching out to me but it was Psy that kept like pushing for me to join his company. Like he made an effort of continuing to reach out for me to join. He saw my potential as a solo artist, because you know me being in a group for the past few years of my life, it was going to be different and he mentioned saying I needed to show my true color and he wanted to be the one to help me.”

“We even got together one day before I signed and we just communicated about everything, he saw that I would fit great into the company. You know, he didn’t see me as someone who had just left a company and needed to find something rightaway. He saw me as someone who was taking a new step in my career which I really respected. And just talking to him, I felt at ease and felt like I could do a lot and find myself as a person too by joining.” Elsy finished.

“Yeah, I see that too. You’re very different now as a solo artist, but in a good way of course.” Jessi said. “When I first met you it was through Jackson, and you were more filtered about everything. But as time went on you showed me your true self and you kind of remind me of me just a bit.” Jessi laughed with Elsy joining in. “Now, I see that you are more open minded about a lot of things. Which is why I think we get a long so well.”

“Honestly, I feel more free.” Elsy said. “And I feel like I can truly be myself without having to worry about anything. I’m always telling myself I did the right decision.” She smiled.

“I think this is the first time I’ve ever seen you so serious.” Jessi put down her cards. “Everyone, I know the real Elsy. She is the complete opposite of this.”

Elsy couldn’t help but laugh some more as Jessi spoke about her. She was right, when Elsy and Jessi were together it was never anything serious and they would constantly joke around. They got closer than ever.

“She has become very unfiltered since joining this company.”

“No, no! Not true.” Elsy let out a laugh

“Where did you learn English?”

“Growing up, I went to an international school. But honestly I am much for comfortable talking in Korean than English. I just like saying small phrases.” Elsy answered. “Or I only speak it when needing to, like when I was in America for tour and what not.”

Jessi took a look at her cards, looking back up with a smirk on her face as she looked at Elsy. “Ah ha! Even I want to know this. What is your ideal type?”

Elsy coughed up a small snort, letting out a laugh after as well. “Next question please.”

“Nah, nah, nah! You have to answer!”

“No!” Elsy exclaimed. “I don’t really have a type, honestly. If I like you then I like you. Just have to be respectful towards me. And you know, love me for me.” She answered honestly.

“Mm, yes. That’s always good when looking into a person. Can’t change for anyone.”

Elsy nodded her head, agreeing with Jessi as the girl got comfortable in her seat again. She looked down at her cards then back at Elsy. “You live alone right?” Elsy nodded again as an answer. “How was the transition of living with nothing but guys to living alone?”

Elsy was about to answer until Jessi interrupted. “Wait, wait. How was it like living with nothing but guys? That’s what I wanna know first. Did you have privacy?”

The girl let out a small chuckle. “To be honest. It wasn’t that bad. At first it was a little awkward but I got used to it really quick and all of the members were very open with me. They were still themselves.”

“When you say open, do you mean they openly walked around naked?”

Elsy laughed super hard at the question, going forward. “Not exactly what I meant but there was times that did happen.” She chuckled. “But I was definitely not phased by it- I feel like I shouldn’t be talking about this. Such a TMI.”

“It’s okay, girl. In this show we live for TMI’s. Well I do.”

Towards the end of the interview, the two girls were now standing in the middle of the dance room, learning each other’s choreographies to their songs. They had started off with Jessi’s, Elsy already getting it down quickly.

“Be more sexy, Elsy. I know you can!” Jessi exclaimed. The music began and they began to start dancing to Jessi’s song.

Moving on the Elsy’s, Jessi had gotten the choreography rightaway. “Now in mine you gotta act tough, kind of like a boss bitch- op.” Elsy went to cover her mouth from her choice of word. “Are we allowed to curse on here?”

Jessi laughed. “Yes, it’s okay. I need to act like a boss bitch? Easy.”

Jessi had done with smoothly until she added her own flavor to it, causing Elsy to laugh and grab her arm. “That’s not how you do it!”

“Yeah, but this is Jessi’s way.” She said looking at the camera. “And that is a wrap, thank you guys for watching! I had a lot of fun with my good friend, Elsy. Is there anything you would like to say?”

“I also had fun today, so thank you for having me. Please invite me for next time, maybe.” Elsy smiled. “And as for everyone, thank you for supporting me on my solo debut and I can’t wait to come back.”

“See you next time, bye!” The two girls waved goodbye, ending the interview.

[canary3d-obsessed]

Lost Tomb Reboot Lewks: Part 12

(Masterpost) (Other Canary Stuff)

Warning: Spoilers for both seasons of The Lost Tomb Reboot

Look 61

The first look is Wu Xie’s road trip outfit, which includes this grey and white jacket. It has a contrasting elastic waistband, cuffs, and neckline, and slanted pockets. 

This is exactly the sort of jacket that my 5th grade science teacher would have worn in 1979, and she would have slayed in it.  She awakened something in me and it wasn’t love of STEM. (Spock was responsible for my love of STEM, and various other awakenings in 5th-grade me) I’m sure it would still look great on her, because she is probably a silver haired foxy granny now, and that’s who this jacket belongs on in the current century.

Wu Xie should never have gotten within a mile of this old lady jacket.

To clarify, I’m not being gender-essentialist here; I’m being ageist. If this jacket had some contemporary detailing or interesting features to offset its last-century vibe, the way Bai Haotian’s green roller derby jacket does, it would be fine even though I’m not a fan of this sort of collar in menswear. But it’s just a nicely-made old lady jacket. Mary Berry could bake a nice cake while wearing this jacket. 

Note: Liu Sang could wear the hell out of this jacket, of course, because that man can wear literally anything and make it look like it’s made of spun pheromones.

(more after the cut!)

Wu Xie eventually improves this look by taking the jacket off and giving the camera operator a nice long look at his ass. He’s wearing dark jeans and a long-sleeve white thermal shirt, which is a great improvement. 

Look 62

The granny jacket is contrasted by the blessed arrival of Huo Daofu’s daddy jacket, and the rest of the clothing that Huo Daofu is wearing with it.  This is a dark green jacket with a nipped in waist, military styling, and invisible stitching that says "obey" You can't see it, but oh, it's there.

He's wearing this jacket of domination with jeans so tight they appear to be made of paint. I approve of these jeans so much that I might need to take a break from writing for a moment. 

Instead of shoes he’s opted for a pair of tall riding boots, just in case anyone failed to get the message.

He finishes off this look with gold rimmed glasses, pomegranate-toned lips, and an air of authority so strong that even Pangzi does what he tells him to with minimal back chat.

Later the jacket comes off, so he can wrap it solicitously around the shoulders of a person who is already wearing a perfectly good jacket.  OP looks up “service top” in the dictionary.

Underneath, Huo Daofu is wearing a grey houndstooth waistcoat. Shen Wei’s tailor would gnash his teeth in envy, if he saw the cut of this vest. This tops off a warm-toned brown shirt worn with a silver-toned watch. The watch is...round, and it tells time. He’s wearing a brown belt with his black jeans. Huo Daofu is great at combining warm and cool, formal and casual, in a single look. 

Look at this dapper bitch. Slaying this hard has got to be against his Hippocratic oath.

This jacket-free look is combined with hip posture so provocative that it sends Wu Xie into a hasty search for the last scraps of his heteronormative assumptions. Xiao Bai does her best to help.

Look 63

The beards. 

OP's family of origin is full of hairy visigoths, so Pangzi's beard is a style I've encountered before, alas. We call this a [US] Civil War beard. This one is terrible and lopsided, but at least it covers a lot of Pangzi’s face.

Wu Xie’s fake facial hair isn't terrible, but isn't great. You can tell it’s fake because everything about Zhu Yilong is inherently lovely, and this isn’t. 

Also, it's a ridiculous idea for a disguise. Wu Xie's close-trimmed chin patch and mustache are nice style, very typical for a Chinese dude. They let Wu Xie’s lovely facial structure continue to do its thing while they just provide a bit of an accent. But this is a problem, because they don't change his appearance in any meaningful way; his cheekbones are still visible from orbit. 

He’s wearing this facial hair and cap with the same vest he wore earlier to practice slingshot. This time he's accessorizing with a simple tan jacket, with an interesting buttonhole detail... 

...and with an attractive human IV stand.

Doctor doctor, give me the news, I've got a bad case of loving you you loving me.

Look 64

This look belongs to the man that Jia Kezale’s wife has replaced him with. We have to infer his look based on his shoes, and that he is presumably in the same league as the extremely hot Jia Kezale. 

Based on these shoes, which are very nice, if a little weathered, Huarache-style loafers, this other man in her life also presumably wears linen trousers and a guayabera shirt. 

*mentally pictures this person* 

ok, I guess I don't blame her. 

[Image, and shirts, from cubavera dot com]

Look 65

After having his IV fluids, Wu Xie goes for a nighttime motorbike ride, because he apparently needs to go way up on a hill to see that the hotel he’s staying in is circular.

So, what is with the Ultraman motorcycle helmet? Does it have any padding or insulation at all? Why doesn’t it cover more than 40 percent of his head and face?

And shouldn't it have a chin strap?  How does it stay on in a crash?  I mean yes I know this is a show with sentient crustaceans...yeah, never mind. I’m sure that’s a super effective helmet. 

Once the rain starts, his mustache and beard look better. Still not great, but better. Here he looks like he’s cosplaying as Zhou Yunlan.

Now he’s wet and lying on the ground because...oh, hell if I remember. Just look at him, poor moist snookums. He needs a blankie and a hot tea and a hurt-comfort fic about him and his doctor. 

This look gives the newest members of the polycule an opportunity to demonstrate their devotion, as they haul him off the motorcycle and over to a wall, and then continue to stand in the rain, for some reason, instead of going indoors. 

I gotta say, when a producer decides to pour water on Zhu Yilong, they  commit to it.

Speaking of commitment, here’s Huo Daofu holding his hand up over Wu Xie’s face like a tiny umbrella. 

Bonus 1

Look at the yellow duffle coat on that kid. She looks beautiful and classic, and the mustard yellow color just pops so nicely in this scene. 

The mustard yellow also visually marks her allegiance to gold-dragon-wearing Xue Wu. 

Bonus 2

This look is Wu Xie’s antique-scheming outfit, but now he is wearing the Sunglasses of Manpain. They belong to Pangzi, but Wu Xie is wearing them while he waits for Pangzi to collect his angst from the morgue.

These sunglasses are good to wear while contemplating the fact that, despite the many differences in narrative tropes between Chinese and Western media, the one where a female character is hurt and/or dies merely to further a male character's emotional development remains a constant.

That said, this is a nice small signifier of their relationship, as he puts these glasses on Pangzi, allowing him to hide his feelings, while hugging him, allowing him to express his feelings.

[heyitssmiller]

Clandestine: Chapter Four

The espionage boys go to Slytherin. Chaos ensues.

Content Warning: Some violence towards the end.

@lumosinlove

Clandestine Masterlist

.

Finn reached over the center console of the car to grab some M&Ms from the bag in Logan’s lap. Logan slapped his hand away playfully, not taking his eyes off the Slytherin police station they were parked down the road from. “Why don’t you eat your own snacks?”

“They’re salty and I wanted something sweet.” Finn said with a shrug, popping one of the candies into his mouth and grinning.

Leo sighed from the backseat, letting his head rest against the window with a thunk. He stared out at the full moon as a lonely cloud passed in front of it, moving fast. It was the most interesting thing he’d seen all night. “Why didn’t y’all tell me stakeouts were so boring? This is horrible.”

“But we’ve learned so much already!”

Finn got an arched blond eyebrow in response. “Have we?”

“We’re downtown, so we’re going to have to be extra careful about being seen. Shift change is at 6 pm, so we need to avoid that time frame as much as we can. There’s fewer people on the night shift, so our best bet is to wait until nighttime.” Logan rattled off, still not looking away from the building. “There’s a side door on the west side of the building, so that’ll be your best bet when you need to break in. I can see at least one security camera there, so Loops is going to need to help you out.”

Finn motioned to Logan dramatically. “That’s how you do it, Peanut Butter. Take notes.”

“I had lots of practice, keeping an eye out while you guys were off being bank robbers.” Logan grumbled good-naturedly, grabbing an M&M for himself.

Finn hummed thoughtfully. “Robbers is a bad way of putting it, don’t you think? You make us sound so evil.” 

“I mean, you’re also technically an arsonist.”

“That was one time. And the other bank heist went off without a hitch.”

“Still doesn’t change the fact that you set a trash can on fire.” Leo piped up, giving Logan a high-five when he held his hand out.

“I knew I liked you for a reason, Nut.”

Leo really tried his best not to read into that statement. He grabbed the small lock in his pocket and fidgeted with the dial to distract himself. He didn’t mean it like Leo thought he did. Like he wanted him to. Besides, that would be so complicated, wouldn’t it? Being a spy was messy in and of itself. Dating two other spies - who were his partners - would be a whole other level of chaos.

But that didn’t make him want it any less.

Which was also ridiculous. He’d known them for, what? Maybe a month? Why did his heart always decide to move at such breakneck speeds? 

“Do you two have to always gang up on me?” Finn asked with a sigh, snapping Leo back out of his thoughts. “What did I ever do to deserve it?”

“Don’t take it personal, O’Hara. You’re just so fun to tease.” Finn threw a barbecue-flavored chip at Logan, causing him to laugh and eat it.

“How long do stakeouts usually last?” Leo asked, desperate to change the subject to something - anything - less hazardous for his heart. 

“Until we have all the information we need.”

“And how do we know when that is?”

Logan shrugged. “Depends on the case. I’d like to stay and see when the next shift change is, just to be safe.”

Leo groaned and settled back in to wait.

***

“So how are we doing this?” Finn asked the next morning as they all sat around the table in the briefing room, propping his chin in his hand. “Sneak Leo in through an air vent? Although you might be too tall for that, Nut. Blow a hole in the wall and steal the whole safe? Create a story like the bank heists?”

“It’ll have to be a distraction again.” Sirius said, looking to Loops for confirmation. “The longer we can fly under Riddle’s radar, the better. The other four drives are on Riddle, in his office, or with trusted gang members. If he starts getting suspicious now, he’ll go on lockdown and we don’t stand a chance at getting the rest of the drives.”

“He’s right.” Remus agreed. “Plus there’s way too many officers in the precinct at any given time. Since the safe is in the evidence room, we can’t risk anyone coming in there and catching Leo red-handed – they’d shoot you on sight, no questions asked.”

Logan watched the color drain from Leo’s face and turned to send Remus a glare. Of course this job was risky – if you didn’t think so, you were a naïve idiot. Getting caught or shot or killed was just a part of the job and as a spy, you had to learn to live with that. But that didn’t mean you had to scare rookies about it right before a big, high-risk mission.

Remus noticed his glare, but simply ignored it and looked away. “Here’s what I’m thinking. There’s another, smaller gang in Slytherin, right?” At Sirius’ nod, he continued. “If we can place an anonymous tip on their location, that all but guarantees a full holding cell inside the precinct. Plus it gets another gang off the streets, so it’s a win-win. Logan, if you can get yourself arrested for something small – public indecency or drunken disorderly or something – you’ll be put in that holding cell too.”

Logan leaned forwards, excitement coursing through him. “I like where this is going.”

“I don’t.” Finn stated plainly. It was his turn to glare at Loops.

“If you can start a fight in there, you can get a majority of the officers’ attentions. Especially if it’s at night when the staff is smaller and more likely to be tired. Leo can slip in the side door unnoticed, get into the evidence room, grab the flash drive, and get out.” Remus raked a hand through his hair, looking thoughtful. “It’s more complicated than the banks, but it should work just fine.”

“That’s the plan?” Leo asked dubiously. “Try to start a riot in a holding cell, hope that all the officers get distracted, steal the flash drive, and then just wait for Logan to be released in the morning? There’s so many things that could go wrong.”

He was right - there was a lot riding on nothing but chance. Sadly, that was part of the territory of working in espionage; it was one of the only things the James Bond movies got right. You had to take risks in order to get results sometimes. Leo’s job was all about planning and precision. He knew exactly how to execute his mission and there usually weren’t any hiccups as long as he had the right tools with him and enough time. Not much risk-taking involved in cracking safes. So he’d probably never been a part of a plan with so many aspects up in the air.

He’d also never seen Logan in action.

“Never doubt my ability to start a fight.” Logan said with a grin. “Man, I’m so excited to go on a mission where I’m not stuck in the car.”

“I want to go with you.” Finn said firmly, leaving no room for argument. His gaze was fierce and determined and if Logan didn’t know him already, he’d probably be just a little bit scared. It was kind of hot. “I don’t like you being in there by yourself.”

Remus looked at him, clearly surprised. “I thought you didn’t like fights.”

“I don’t. But I’m not leaving my partner in there to fend for himself. Hell no.”

Logan ignored the way his heart sped up and asked, “You don’t want to go with Leo? Be a lookout?”

“Normally I’d say yes, but if someone does end up seeing him, one person raises less suspicion than two.” Finn said with a shrug. “It’ll also be easier to start a fight with two people.”

“If you’re getting arrested in Slytherin, you’ll need disguises.” Remus said, looking the cubs over. “They’ll take mugshots of you at the station. We can’t risk it.”

“Ok, so who do we go to for that?”

“Ooh!” Leo piped up with a happy, unfairly adorable smile. “I actually know this one!”

***

When they entered the disguise office the following day a woman with long, blonde hair looked up at them from a rapidly moving sewing machine. Finn feared for her fingers as they inched closer to the bobbing needle, but she barely batted an eye as she took her foot off the pedal and smiled in delight when she spotted Leo. “Nutty! How’s it going?”

Leo smiled back and gave her a warm hug. He looked like he gave good hugs, Finn thought. All tall and long-limbed like that. “Hey, Nat. Good to see you.”

“Kasey told me you’re on a mission. Look at you, all official and taking down the Snakes!” She stood on her tiptoes to ruffle his hair. “So grown up!”

“Stop.” Leo laughed, taking a step back and dodging her hand. “Y’all treat me like I’m twelve.” He seemed to remember Logan and Finn were with him and his cheeks turned red as he looked over at them. “Uh, guys this is Natalie. Nat, these are my partners Finn and Logan.”

“Nice to meet you boys.” She said, shaking both their hands. “So you’re here for disguises?”

Finn nodded, then started explaining the premise of their op, watching Natalie a bit nervously as she looked him over thoroughly. It was a bit unnerving, even when he knew it was just to get a good idea of what she needed to do for a disguise. Her gaze was calculating, like she could figure out everything about them with a single look.

Maybe she could.

Finally, she spoke up. “We’ll have to change that hair. How do you feel about wash-out hair dye? Normally I’d just give you a wig, but if you’re getting in a fight it could get pulled off. And you.” She turned to Logan, taking a second to look him over. “I have so many ideas for you. I have a feeling you’re going to love it. Oh, and Nut?”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve got a cop uniform that should fit you.”

He bit back disappointment. Finn was dyeing his hair, (which was a bit of a tragedy, really – Leo thought his hair was really pretty, especially out in the sun) Logan was doing who knows what, and all Leo got was a uniform? “Oh. Ok.” He looked over at his partners. “I’ll meet you back in the bullpen?”

“Sounds good.” Logan responded. As soon as Leo closed the door behind him, Natalie faced Logan again with a wicked smile.

“How do you feel about tattoos?”

***

Logan and Finn found Leo having a staring contest with a small, god-awful painted eagle paperweight on Finn’s desk.

“I see you’ve met Brad!” Finn said happily, giving the eagle a pat on the head and startling Leo in the process. He seemed to jump a foot in the air before he realized Finn wasn’t a threat.

“I’m pretty sure it’s haunted.” Leo said, looking away from it slowly. Those beady little eyes seemed like they were staring into his soul and finding it wanting. “I’m from New Orleans, I can tell- holy shit.” He said when he caught sight of his partners.

Finn’s hair was dark brown, his freckles tragically hidden from view. Natalie had also done some makeup magic to accentuate different lines of his face, changing his profile and making him barely recognizable. Logan’s hair was now a dirty blonde. Both of his arms and one collarbone were littered with dark, swooping ink in varying different shapes and patterns. They were both wearing more casual clothes than Leo had ever seen them in, looking soft and comfy instead of like polished, professional spies.

“If I wasn’t expecting it, I’m not sure I could recognize you.” Leo said slowly, trying to get his brain back up and running as he gently grabbed one of Logan’s arms and turned it this way and that, looking at the tattoos in awe. They looked so real.

Logan grinned. “Yeah, Nat’s a pro.” He followed Leo’s gaze down at his fake tattoos wistfully. “Sometimes I wish I wasn’t a spy, just so I could get tattoos.” He couldn’t have anything about him be easy to recognize as a covert operative – it would make him too easy to track down and get compromised. Tattoos unfortunately fell into that category. His eyes landed on the eagle paperweight Leo was staring down earlier. He laughed. “O’Hara, what the fuck is that?”

“It’s Brad! My brother is a spy, too – works out of Tampa. When I joined, we created this competition: whoever brought in the most criminals in a year got to keep Brad on their desk.” Finn preened, looking fondly at the creepy eagle. “Yours truly has the honor this year.”

Leo glared at it mistrustfully. “That thing needs to be burned. Or I could smoke it out with sage for you. I’ve got some from Marie Laveau’s House of Voodoo back home. That’ll get rid of the spirit for sure.”

Finn gasped in horror. “How dare you? Brad is a treasure and deserves to be protected at all costs.”

“I strongly disagree.”

“It is not haunted, it’s a symbol of being a winner-”

“As much as I’m loving this conversation,” Logan interrupted, looking amusedly between his partners. “We should probably get going if we want to get to Slytherin in time. Loops already placed the anonymous tip about the other gang, so we’re all set. Ready?”

“Ready.” Finn echoed, giving Brad one last loving pat for good luck before heading towards the door, Logan by his side. Leo picked up his pace to walk alongside the other two. 

“Please don’t make me sit in the backseat again.”

“But you’re the rookie.”

“I’m also the tallest. You try being stuck with your knees to your chest for a several hour road trip. Not fun.”

***

Finn laughed as Logan stumbled during their “drunken meandering” in the park near the Slytherin precinct and threw an arm around his shoulder. He spotted a uniformed officer talking on his phone a few yards away, apparently on break. He knew Leo was also out there somewhere, keeping tabs on them and relaying information to Sirius and Loops. Since Finn and Logan were getting arrested, they didn’t want to be caught with mics and earpieces on them. That would really raise suspicions and get their cover blown for sure. So Leo was keeping an eye on them now and Loops would do the same via the security cameras once they were both inside the precinct.

“There’s an officer to our left.” Finn said, leaning close to Logan to murmur into his ear and knocking their heads clumsily together. He could just barely see the curve of Logan’s smile from that vantage point, almost taunting him with how easy it would be to press a kiss there. Just a slight movement of his chin and he could do it. Refraining took all of Finn’s willpower.

He moved away. “Now all we need to do is get his attention and get ourselves arrested.”

Logan leaned in close and eliminated all the space Finn had just put between them, green eyes bright and mischievous and luminous under the artificial light of a nearby streetlamp. “I’ve got an idea.”

Finn simply stared. “Huh?”

“You know how I hate the police?” The brunet-turned-blond asked, grabbing Finn’s hands and walking backwards. Finn followed the siren’s call without hesitation. If he crashed into the rocks and sank because of him – well. Drowning would be worth it.

He had to urge his brain to focus and vaguely remembered that conversation from New Year’s and the rant about abuse of power that came with it. Even drunk off his ass, Logan had made some very good points. “Yeah.” Finn glanced over Logan’s shoulder as they approached the parked police car.

“We’re really going to piss them off today. Go with it.” Were the last words out of Logan’s mouth as he backed himself up against the police car, pulled Finn flush against him, and crashed their lips together. Finn barely missed a beat before he was kissing back, moving a hand up to cradle the back of Logan’s head. On New Year’s – when Finn was convinced Logan was going to kiss him but didn’t – Finn imagined what kissing him would be like. He pictured it soft, tantalizing, and teasing, just like the rest of their night had been. It was somewhat like that, and yet Finn was still off by miles. This kiss was a lot of things – it was warm and feisty and absolutely addictive – but soft didn’t fit the description at all. Logan kissed enthusiastically, if not a little sloppily. Finn couldn’t really tell if that was part of the drunk ruse or not.

Fuck, this was a con. It wasn’t real. This was for the mission, and nothing else.

But then why did it feel so real?

Finn pushed the thoughts away as he angled his head and deepened the kiss, inhaling sharply through his nose as he only then remembered the necessity that was breathing. He might not get this opportunity again, so he was going to use this chance to make Logan weak in the knees. Finn’s brain knew it was a horrible idea, but he wanted Logan to remember this, to think about it before he went to bed that night and wonder what if. If they weren’t spies or partners or on the biggest operation of their entire careers, what if he could have this?

If this was the only time Finn would ever get to kiss Logan, he was also going to make sure he remembered every tiny detail: the way Logan’s breath hitched when he bit down on his bottom lip, the feel of cold hands slipping under his sweatshirt, the rise and fall of his chest against Finn’s.

“Hey now!” A gruff voice shouted, grabbing Finn’s shoulder and pulling the two apart. “Cut it out.”

Finn staggered back – which was not an act. He was just that off balance, mind reeling. The police officer was glaring at him sternly, looking very annoyed. Finn shrugged carelessly, letting his words slur. “I would say sorry, but I mean – come on. Look at him. Can you blame me?”

Leo watched from his vantage point on a nearby park bench, something twisting painfully in his chest.

He could admit he was jealous – that was the easy part. But he wasn’t jealous in a way that made any sense. He was jealous of both of them. He wanted both of them. And yeah, it was a con and they were just making out to get the officers’ attentions, but it sure looked genuine. There were some things you just couldn’t fake.

The way Logan was gazing at Finn was one of them.

Of all people, he had to catch feelings for spies. Not just one spy – two. Two spies who may or may not have feelings for each other.

Fuck.

This is what I get for letting myself speculate, I guess.

“Leo?” Remus’ voice asked through his earpiece. “What’s going on?”

Leo focused back on the mission at hand and forced his voice to stay even. “They’re, uh, making out against a cop car.”

Sirius laughed loudly, while Remus just sighed long-sufferingly. “That’s one way to do it, I guess.”

“They’re egging the cop on, now.” Leo said, watching as Logan’s shoulders tensed and he said something harsh to the cop. “Looks like it won’t be long.”

Sure enough, the cop whipped out his handcuffs and motioned for Leo’s partners to turn around and put their hands behind their backs. They were loaded into the back of the cop car, and Leo allowed his eyes to follow it as it drove off towards the precinct before getting to his feet and walking in the same direction. “They’re on their way. Let me know when all the action starts.”

“Copy that.”

The good thing about being on a mission was that Leo didn’t really have time to internally reflect or try and decipher his feelings. He had a job to do. He couldn’t afford to mess this up because he was too busy stuck in his own head.

He did, however, assume he had enough time to not rush his walk to the precinct. Finn and Logan still needed to be searched, booked, and put in the holding cell before they could even think of starting the riot. So he kept his gait slow and let himself get lost in the sound of the wind sweeping through the trees and the rustle of dead leaves as they danced across the sidewalk.

He shoved a hand in his pocket, finding the old, worn, familiar lock there and fiddled with the dial.

***

Things in the holding cell were… not exactly going to plan.

First of all, there were about half the number of gang members in the holding cell than they anticipated. This wasn’t great, but it wasn’t the end of the world either. It might be harder to get everyone in the precinct to pay attention, but Finn was still confident in their ability to cause a scene. Then it got stranger.

The gang members were absolutely delightful.

Three were sitting by Logan, sharing stories behind their numerous tattoos and rolling up their sleeves to show off more ink. Four more were in a cuddle puddle in one of the corners of the cell, trying to get some sleep. One was even sitting by Finn, although he had made no attempt to strike up a conversation or anything. Finn was usually pretty comfortable with his height – he was tall, by most people’s standards. But the guy sitting next to him was huge. He was at least three inches taller than Leo, and easily twice as broad. With an unreadable face made of stone, the guy was also practically impossible to get a read on. Finn figured he needed to do something to get the ball rolling. Poor Nutter Butter would be stuck outside all night at this rate.

So he braced himself, turned to the guy next to him, and said, “Hey.”

Not his best conversation starter.

The guy looked at him strangely. Finn decided to keep going. “I’m Finn.”

“Tanner.”

“How’s your night going, Tanner?”

Tanner seemed to think Finn was certifiably insane. “Well, seeing that I’m currently in jail, not great.”

“Right… right.” Finn trailed off, cringing internally. He was so off his game tonight. Of course, he knew why, but that didn’t make it any easier to snap out of it. All he could think of was pressing Logan against a cop car and how much he wanted to do it again. But it wasn’t that simple-

“Are you ok?” Finn looked back up at Tanner, who shrugged stiffly. “You seem a little stressed.”

Finn thought about it, then decided fuck it. He’d never see this guy again. And who would Tanner tell? He blurted out, “I kissed my coworker today.”

Tanner blinked, then leaned back against the wall. “Ok.”

“I don’t think he feels the same way.”

He didn’t even bat an eye and the whole being attracted to the same gender thing. His face still revealed nothing. Finn couldn’t decide if that was a good thing or not. “Did he kiss you back?”

“Well, yeah.” Finn said, glancing across the cell at Logan and thinking back on the feeling of those lips pressed against his, the texture of the soft curls beneath his fingertips.

“Then what the fuck is the holdup?”

Finn sighed, looking back at Tanner. “It’s not that simple.”

“Look. He either likes you or he doesn’t. What good does it do you to keep guessing when you could get a definitive answer by just asking him? Everyone seems to forget how simple things are when you break them down into components. It’s just simple communication, dude. That’s it.”

“But-” Finn stopped short, taking a second to think when he was struck with a realization. It wasn’t out of the blue, nor was it completely surprising. It still felt like getting hit by a fucking train, though.

Tanner let him stay silent for a second, then prodded curtly, “But?”

“I… I think I might have feelings for another of my friends, too.” Finn thought of sunny blond hair, kind blue eyes, and a warm, dimpled smile.

Shit.

“You know polyamorous relationships are a thing, right?” Tanner sat up straighter, looking at Finn eagerly. It was the first emotion Finn had seen on his face, and also strangely endearing. “I have a ton of articles I can send you if you’re interested.”

Finn couldn’t help the smile that crossed his face. “Thanks, man. I think I might have to wait it out, though. We all work together and it would get so complicated so fast. Maybe once we finish the project we’re working on together.”

Tanner followed his eyes across the cell to Logan. Finn hadn’t even realized he was staring at him again. “Is that the one you kissed or the other one?”

Finn arched an eyebrow, which the gang member snorted at. “You aren’t subtle, bud.”

“That’s the one I kissed. Well, he kissed me, if we’re being technical. But I don’t think he meant it. It was kind of a – a dare, I guess you could say.”

Tanner’s face turned stormy. “He did what now?”

Finn frantically started to backtrack. “It’s fine. I mean, I’m not mad or anything-”

Tanner stood up and pointed angrily at Logan. “You!” He bellowed, voice like thunder. “What the fuck is your problem?”

Logan looked from Tanner to Finn, then back to Tanner, brow knitting in confusion. “What?”

“Did no one teach you about consent you little piece of-”

And then Tanner drew back his fist and slammed it into Logan’s cheek in a brutal cross hit. Silence rang through the holding cell as Logan reeled backwards, raising a hand to his cheek, which was already red. When he looked up at Tanner again, his eyes were a combination of furious and excited.

It looked like they were getting their fight now.

Finn managed to get out the words “holy shit” before all hell broke loose.

Logan threw the next punch, aiming for the stomach first and then the temple when Tanner doubled over, knocking the breath out of him. One of the other gang members took offense to that on Tanner’s behalf and went after Logan, who dodged the first swing easily and collided his fist into the guy’s nose.

The three gang members who were talking about tattoos with Logan instantly jumped to back him up, while the four who were sleeping leapt to their feet and tried to make sense of the situation. There was a charged energy in the air, an undercurrent of adrenaline and anger mingling with it.

Finn hated fights. They were messy and ugly and painful. Plus he was a conman – if his face was all beat up and bruised, no one would trust him and he’d never get any of his jobs done. So he tried to avoid them as much as he could, but he didn’t think he was getting out of this one.

Logan turned his fiery gaze on Finn, making him take an aborted step backwards before he realized this was the plan. They were supposed to be starting a fight. Finn wasn’t sure he could fight his partner, though. Especially since he’d kissed the guy just shy of two hours ago. Luckily he didn’t have to think too hard about it, because Tanner was back on his feet and charging at Logan, along with two other gang members.

Logan moved like the ocean when he fought – smooth and fluid, but also unpredictable and dangerous and wild. He also clearly knew exactly what he was doing, how to exact the most damage on his opponents. He used his size to his advantage by punching upwards and using his leg muscles to land harder punches. With shorter limbs like that, his blows were quick, effective, and brutal. Logan also seemed to be a southpaw, delivering brutal body shots directly to the liver.

It was absolutely mesmerizing.

Unfortunately, Finn was too busy watching Logan to notice the guy coming towards him until he was tackled forcibly to the ground. His head smacked the concrete floor painfully, stunning him for a brief second. When the spots disappeared from his field of vision, he looked up at the guy standing over him.

“Fuck you, man.”

***

“Nut, you’re good to go.” Remus said as he watched cops swarm the holding cell. “I’ll keep an eye out for any stragglers that might catch you.”

“Thanks.” Leo said, and Remus watched the security footage of the side door as Leo crouched by it and began picking the lock. Sirius looked over his shoulder and whistled lowly.

“Damn, Tremblay’s got some moves.”

Remus briefly switched his gaze over to the footage of the holding cell before scanning the hallways for stray officers. “That’s kind of his thing. He gets sent into situations where things are dicey and people need some sense knocked into them.”

“Maybe he should teach O’Hara. He’s already on the ground.”

“What?” Leo asked, sounding concerned as he unlocked the door and slipped inside. “Is he ok?”

Remus watched Finn climb to his feet and face the guy who knocked him down, getting into an admittedly terrible fighting stance. “He’s fine. Head straight down that hallway. The evidence room is the last door on your left.”

“I hate not knowing what’s going on.” Leo muttered, creeping effortlessly down the hall. “Now I understand why Logan hated the bank missions so much.”

Sirius was watching the action in the holding cell eagerly. “I think this mission more than makes up for those. He’s having a blast. Look at him go! He’s a little ball of rage.”

Leo laughed under his breath as he broke into the evidence room seemingly effortlessly. “Ooh, you’d better not let him hear you say that.”

Remus frowned, watching the blond locate the safe and crouch in front of it. Something about him was… off. He’d seemed fine earlier, but now he seemed subdued. His voice was carefully controlled and even, a blank mask on his face.

So the question was: what had happened between 10 am and now that made him feel like he had to distance himself?

The safe opened within a few minutes. Leo switched out the flash drives and pocketed the real one, closing the safe again and rising to his feet. “Headed out now.”

“Coast is clear.” Remus said, looking back at the holding cell. The officers were pulling people apart and seemed to be getting things back under control. “Good timing – looks like the fight is wrapping up. Now all you’ve got to do is pay their bail after a little while and hit the road.”

“Perfect. That’s the easy part.”

Paying bail, it turned out, was not the easy part.

After what felt like the thirtieth time he’d signed a fake name on the forms and having to jump through countless hoops, Leo still had to wait over an hour until Finn and Logan were processed and released. So he sat in one of the uncomfortable chairs in the lobby and waited. And waited. And waited.

When his partners finally walked through the doors, Leo did a double-take. He knew they’d been in a fight, but good lord.

“Y’all look like shit.” He said, taking in Logan’s bruised cheek, the way Finn was cradling his left arm to his chest, and their overall rumpled appearances. He also noticed the way they were steadfastly refusing to look at each other.

Logan snorted. “Thanks, Peanut.”

Leo shrugged, holding his hands up defensively. “I’m just telling the truth here. Don’t kill the messenger.”

“Let’s go home.” Finn said wearily as he led the way outside and towards their car, limping slightly. “I think I might be allergic to this makeup. It’s starting to itch.”

Later that night, when they were all in their separate apartments scattered across the city, all three of them faced a restless night of staring up at their ceilings and wondering, in some variation or another, what if.