#i also need to have lunch which i guess technically i'd have the time for rn bc it's still an hour to my violin lesson

[airenyah]

if i did the math correctly i should be able to finish all my chores and watch 23.5 before my friend shows up

[mochinon-yah]

I just realized we all technically have the power to ask any questions on this site, and I never got to doing it. So....

[Points S.E.E.S evoker at you]

Who are the fictional characters you ship your mutuals to? Doesn't have to be necessarily their self-ship. I am deadass curious. Spill the tea, Imbibitor's lover—

We can lower that down, brynn- no need to get all aggressive now-

*cough* ANYWAY!

I'll list them down below, and if they're not accurate or you're actually gonna fight them rather than making out with the characters that i chose then yeah, that is probably my plan 😀 /silly

Oh and! I'll mostly be using genshin and hsr characters because yeah-

@beloved-brynn -> heizou and ratio. NGL, YOU + HEIZOU, OR YOU + RATIO, OR EVEN THE THREE OF YOU WOULD TOTALLY BE SO FUNNY AND CHAOTIC 😭☝️ they can counter your wild statements while also being the (somewhat) saner one but could also say smth wild as well. I could see you and one of em (possibly ratio) be like "oh yeah, the other day, i was eating my lunch while watching that gorey movie-" "what." "yeah, i was hungry at that time, so like why not yk-" (this is based on my real experience guys, guess which dialogue is me lmao)

@meimeimeirin -> hmmmm, koh zhongli maybe? Okay, let me tell you the reason why... it's simply because she NEEDS someone who can pamper her! I don't know where that conclusion came from, but yeah. Anyway, if we're talking about other characters, then i think welt, or even zayne from lnd could fit. Basically: "I need someone older, just a little bit colder." lmao (oh, mochi, did this conclusion came up because you know rin's the youngest in her family and now you ship her with men older (and more experienced) than her? whaatt... ofc not, haha-)

@leftdestiny-posts -> absolutely cannot see them with anyone other than dottore. Cute and kind but is secretly crazy "i want to watch the world burn" x The human version of the word 'crazy' "as you wish, my love" would be their dynamic, i suppose...? WAIT OH! I can actually see shiro with ayato or maybe sunday! I bet they would like such a cute, innocent-looking darling to control, but then they would get so surprised and maybe super interested into trying to control the darling despite how crazy the darling actually is- (shiro ily, if ur crazy then we can be crazy together 💐)

@navxry -> arlechinno, and maybe black swan. Yeah, that's it. No explanation needed.

@jessamine-rose -> hmmm, would it be weird if i say capitano? I don't know why or how did i get to that conclusion, but yeah. And maybe blade? IDK WHY I'M PARTNERING HER WITH CRAY CRAY MEN- SORRY JESS, I (subconsciously) THINK YOU CAN LIKE CALM THEM OR SMTH AJFIAWOF-

@stardust-for-your-soul -> funnily enough, i can see her with aventurine. They'll say sweet words that probably have a double meaning and also probably have a teeny tiny bit (maybe a lot lmao) of 'enemies to lovers' moment. (wow, cherry, your new bf is a gambler- /smack). But anyway, i could also see her be with march 7th who is so bubbly and sweet, and i'd think cherry would love to tease march hehe

@teabutmakeitazure -> ACTUALLY NGL DAN HENG????? He would listen to her ramblings and also help her write her fics. It just sounds so cute in my opinion lol. Other than dan heng (who is obviously the best choice), zuri would probably look into red flag charas, like... yeah, aventurine- but still tho, dan heng! But i get what zuri is thinking tho, red is such a sexy color- /smack

@harmonysanreads -> ngl alhaitham or kaeya would be cute if paired up with her! Idk where did kaeya come from, but when i thought about it, instantly "cute!". I think, harmony has this really 'weird' calming aura that could make those two charas just fell in love with how comfortamble she can make them feel. BUT LIKE IDK THO-

@fishanonishere -> Albedo...... i think? Fish, i know what you are- i mean like as in how chaotic and just how 'what in the world is this person thinking???' you are. With how calming and 'would jump into any interesting topic' he is, i think fish and him could be such a cute duo. Fish's ramblings and their drawings are some of the things that make him really interested in fish

[rising-volteccers]

hiii! it's star anon 🌟

this week was relatively hectic, and it's just wednesday! 😭 i was going through your writing prompt tag and the first set that popped up (food as a love language) reminded me of how i felt today.

tw for discussions of eating and food!

technically, i felt "fine", but for some reason, my hunger cues were non-existent? for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, i barely had the motivation to eat. this is very odd for me because i love food. 😔 i resorted to eating outside and going for my comfort foods, which at least helped me eat and hydrate regularly today. i was surprised because this happened out of nowhere, though i'm thinking it's the stress piling up from college. i kept zoning out during today's lectures and study sessions.

so yeah, all this made me think about how murdock would prepare to respond to situations where any of the crew members may be going through what i experienced. three prompt bullets stood out to me:

⋆ “i know you said you weren’t hungry, but i made you something anyways.” ⋆ gently reminding them to eat ⋆ always having the ingredients for their comfort meal on hand in case they have a bad day

of course, murdock would do any of these for all the crew members, though i feel like this would be a more frequent occurrence with friede, liko, and dot. i guess that's because they're the most prone to forgetting, overthinking, or worrying.

though do feel free to go about this in any way you wish! i'd love to see your take on this. ❤️ i'll just take it easy for now. hopefully, the rest of the week goes better for me, and i hope it does for you as well!

Heya! I totally get what you mean about stress dampening hunger cues. I'm someone who experiences the same and still working on finding ways to eat better! I hope that the rest of your week goes well, and that you'll do well with your classes! I believe in you!

This was such a nice prompt that I ended up writing a piece about it! I also rub my self indulgent hcs about Friede too in this hehe. Hopefully this would be a nice read!

Series: Pokemon Horizons

Characters: Murdock, Friede, Liko, Dot

(This piece centers around food and eating. Also the food mentioned are meant to be potato stew, ochazuke and bento respectively!)

--

The quote 'food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate' has stuck with Murdock for the longest time. He can't properly recall the origins, only that it carved a spot in his heart and he grew around it. Murdock enjoyed food and cooking. He loved cooking for others. To him, there was no greater joy and satisfaction than seeing the people he cared for eat the food he made for them.

When he became the chef for the Rising Volt Tacklers, Murdock understood the weight of responsibility now saddled atop his shoulders. With all the traveling they do, he needed to take into account the supplies on hand. Mollie helped him in that regard but ultimately, it came down to him on how he stretched a particular ingredient to use in several meal times. 

Not to mention keeping track of everyone's eating habits. Food allergies aside, Murdock knew what people liked and disliked so he cooked accordingly, ensuring that no one left the dining table hungry. He also regularly asks what the crew wanted to eat for mealtimes, indulging in special requests or making someone's favorite if he felt like they could use a pick me up.

(Like Liko for example. She had adapted to life on board remarkably well but unlike the ever cheerful Roy, Murdock noticed that she had the tendency to keep to herself. It reminded him of Dot–it was thanks to her friendship with his niece that Dot had started to come out of her shell. The gratitude he had couldn't properly be expressed through words so he showed it through his cooking.

The day after they found Liko and got back her pendant, Murdock chose to make one of her favorite dishes. He sensed that she had a lot on her mind, unsurprising given the nature of her disappearance. It pained him to learn that a child her age had to experience an awful thing yet he felt pride that Dot saw Liko to be a valuable friend, drawing her out of her room and off the ship for the first time since he brought her along. 

Murdock spent the time after breakfast prepping the ingredients to make a stew. It was similar to Mollie's favorite but with more potatoes added in and different seasonings were used. He also made fresh buttered rolls to dip into the stew, making it into a hearty meal to enjoy during lunch. 

When he spotted her initial surprise morphing into quiet excitement, Murdock knew he made the right choice. He happily refilled her request for seconds, enjoying the warmth that blossomed in his heart at seeing her overall mood improved). 

Aside from making the food, Murdock got into the habit of reminding others to eat. He understood that at times, circumstances made it difficult for all of them to sit down and have a meal together. If they were in for a spot of rough weather, most of them would eat when they had the chance to seeing that they had different responsibilities in getting the Brave Asagi through safely. 

Arceus knows the amount of times where he gently nudged Orla into leaving the engine room to grab some muffins he made, or all but strong arming Friede into eating something because the endearing fool had it in his head that he would only eat after the danger had passed. Mollie didn’t need much convincing seeing that she ate when she was hungry, while the Liko and Roy happily ate anything he put on their plates. Especially Roy who ate like he had a bottomless pit for a stomach. Good appetite for a growing boy his age. 

These days, Murdock found that he had another person to add to his list of gentle reminders. It was one that he’d always be happy to do so because it was Dot, his niece who recently started eating solid foods. He trusted Mollie’s assessment in that Dot got all the nutrients she needed from the gummies but it still pained him to see her subsisting on only that.

Eating shouldn’t just be about getting the appropriate amount of nutrients. It should be an occasion, something to enjoy and make one feel happy to be alive. Thus when Dot started to eat the doughnuts he left out, it motivated Murdock to find more dishes for his niece to try. Once Dot started to eat more, he encouraged the habit through gentle reminders. 

(Like the night where Murdock spotted Dot standing on deck, a rarity seeing that she only really came out when Liko or Roy was around. Quaxly was with her, spotting his presence first by waving a wing at him. This prompted Dot to turn and look at him in surprise.

“Uh… hi,” she spoke up, soft and slightly hesitant.

“Good evening Dot,” Murdock responded warmly. He knew better than to press the reasoning behind her being out here, lest he spooked her into returing back to her room. Instead of letting the silence between them grew awkward, he asked, “Have you eaten yet?”

“H-huh?”

“Have you eaten yet?” he repeated gently. Judging from the way Dot fiddled with her sleeve, it gave him his answer. Murdock kept his tone kind, lacking any judgement upon knowing that she hadn’t eaten dinner yet. 

Murdock instead invited her to join him for supper. Dot looked hesitant at first but Quaxly’s encouragement had her shuffling behind him as they made their way to the kitchen. While she sat at one of the chairs, he made a simple Johtonian dish where the leftover rice he planned on using for fried rice tomorrow had soup added into it. He found this to be a nice, comforting dish that was light on the stomach. 

Dot seemed to agree, or at least she ate it with minimal complaints. Murdock hid his smile behind each spoonful, pleased to see his niece slowly learn the joys of eating).

Still, sometimes reminders were not enough for he could not contend with what went on in a person’s mind. In this particular case, he meant of Friede’s. His captain proved to be the one that pushed Murdock to expand his repertoire. Try out various recipes that would fit his particular palate, or fit a certain texture that he liked.

Murdock knew of his dislike for sour and sweet-spicy flavors. His aversion to slimy and too soft textures, of leafy greens and things that pop in his mouth. How he had the tendency to skip meals when he became fixated on a task, or whatever belief that settled in his brain that told him that he shouldn’t eat until they were in calmer waters. Sometimes Friede just plain forgot to eat, citing that he didn’t feel hungry until Murdock placed food in front of him. He ate like a Munchlax by then. 

While it pushed him to work harder, Murdock did not harbor any resentment towards Friede. In fact, he found it to be quite the fun challenge to see what sort vegetables he could sneak into the captain’s meal without him realizing. The sense of pride and gratification to see Friede happily eat something that he made was one that he cherished too. It made him happy that he was able to provide his friend a proper, balanced meal that he could enjoy without worry. 

(A recent memory of this was the time Friede became fixated in understanding more about Roy’s Ancient Pokeball. He apparently found some old books from an antique store during their last supply run in the city that could provide more information and had holed himself in his room since then.

While Friede did come out occasionally, it was for more coffee and some berries he swiped from the fruit bowl before he disappeared in his room again. Murdock had long since learnt that while he could force Friede to eat something, that would in turn make him reluctant to eat whatever meals that he ate now in the future. Something about association with an unpleasant event, even if it was necessary for his continued good health. 

Instead, Murdock spent a bit of time after everyone ate their dinner to make something for Friede. He pulled out a medium sized container that would fit his purposes. Murdock easily put together some sandwiches, vegetable sticks with peanut butter and sugared doughnut holes to put inside. Friede would be more likely to eat something that he could eat with one hand, as well as contrasting crunchy and soft, toothy textures. 

Murdock also filled a thermos with his preferred nighttime blend before carrying it with him to Friede’s bedroom. He entered after some perfunctory knocks, finding the young professor hunched over his desk with several open books, one hand lightly tugging at his hair. An easy indicator for stress, he came to learn. 

“I know you said you weren’t hungry but I made you something anyway.” Murdock went straight to the point, knowing that Friede would be in no mood for small talk. 

Friede briefly raised his head to acknowledge Murdock’s presence and the containers he placed on his bed, then went back to his book with a soft grunt. 

The chef simply smiled, bidding Friede a good night before returning back to the kitchen so he could clean up. Come the next morning, Murdock would find Friede fast asleep on his bed, the container empty sans a few crumbs while the thermos was all but drained).

So yes, Murdock shows his love through the food he makes. It speaks for him when words would fail, and the joy he gained was enough to make all the effort he put in worthwhile. As long as his family ate well, Murdock wouldn’t ask for anything more.

[purplesurveys]

1933

Do you ever get super bad buzzing in your ears? Only during situations that I come from somewhere that's super loud then I'm all of a sudden somewhere that's quiet.

Do you know anyone who has actually been in an alcohol or drug related crash? As far as I know, no. I'm reminded of an ugly crash we witnessed inside the neighborhood - it was a car that slammed right into a post, and it was a Sunday morning. There's a part of me that theorized 'alcohol-related' but we never did hear anything about the accident.

What is so wrong with cigarettes? They kill your insides, they make you look older, they stain your teeth, and the smell sticks to you.

Did you celebrate Fathers Day? We did but it was a little lowkey this year. Father's Day happened to be the day after we arrived back in Manila from Vietnam, and we were just so fucking tired. It wasn't even the day after – we literally landed in Manila at 4 AM on Father's Day.

In the morning we were up for like 2 hours to pick up the dogs from the doggie daycare we had them stay at + have lunch, but then we all went back to sleep the entire afternoon lol. Then that evening we went to church and ordered takeout from Chowking (my dad's favorite) to have at home. It was lowkey as the whole family needed it to be lowkey, hahaha.

Do you actually think you’re funny? I know I am around the right set of people. My humor doesn't make absolutely everyone else laugh, though.

Have you ever had a deep conversation with someone who was high on anything? No.

Do you ever wonder if there really is someone who can complement your personality well enough to stay together for the rest of your life? It does cross my mind sometimes, yes. But then I remember how my last relationship ended and how that can always happen again, and it becomes a lot easier to remember how I'm much better off alone.

Do you hate how being bisexual is like a trend? I never thought of it as one. People around here also don't treat it as such...if you're bi, you're just bi.

Have you ever gotten a professional massage? Just once before, but I hated how they made me strip down. I told them no, but they said it was a part of the package blahblah; and being non-confrontational, I went ahead and did it but I hated every bit of it and told myself I'd never do it again.

Do you have a good relationship with your first love? We do not talk.

What is something you’re currently nervous about? Work, and what possible tasks are out there waiting to pounce and give me my next anxiety attack. As has been going on for the last 4-5 weeks...

Do you have a popup blocker installed on your computer? Idk if it's the same thing but I have an ad blocker extension.

Do you feel like you have life figured out? I definitely do not feel that that's the case right now. I have my sights set on resigning, but have no particular next direction yet. I'm torn between wanting to use some time off to rest, and being pressured to hop to the next job. What I have going for me, I guess, is that I'm okay with either option – I'm leaving my fate to a theoretical spinning wheel and see where life takes me. And wherever it takes me, I at least know that I'm mentally capable of making the most out of it.

Have you ever used a laptop in a coffee shop? Yes. Sometimes my best work comes out in coffee shops.

What was the last worst feeling you felt? Apart from work which-is-technically-the-right-answer-but-I-don't-want-to-get-into-it – the second answer here is the VERY complicated feelings I have for Liam Payne. The man I grew up with and brought me years of happiness is very different from the man he transformed as in the years following One Direction. And yet, either way, the man is dead. There's so many nuances, so many layers to it that makes the grieving journey extremely complicated. It's hard to put into words.

I'm sad about a Human Being dying, and I'm sad about One Direction's cursed fate, and I am sad about the universe never giving Liam a chance. But I am remain angry with him for all the messy fuckery he said about the band that gave him a platform in the first place, and the messy fuckery he did to his exes. It's like, it's sad, but I also do not intend to let you off the hook.

Do you ever tend to over-analyse? Yes.

Do you know anyone that like, no matter WHAT, they’re always pissed off? I feel like work has influenced me to be like this some days, which makes me sad. I'm a shell of who I used to be.

How do you react when you’re pissed off? I take a few moments to breathe deeply and to address everything with calmness and kindness even though I'm already exploding from the inside.

What celebrity did your most current ex resemble? Gal Gadot in some angles.

What is something creepy that has happened to you (or someone you know) recently? A man knocking on my car window and speaking to me menacingly.

If you named your car or family car, what would you call it? I call her Mitsu, short for Mitsubishi hahaha.

What would you do if you were faced with an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy (at your current age)? Keep it and hope for the best with my parents.

What does it take for someone to earn your trust? They deliver on their promises/commitment/purpose. Surprisingly this is very hard to find in people. How hard is it to just...fulfill something you said you'd do?

Is there anything you should be worried about? Continued from anywhere between 5-7 days ago, I can't really remember. Yeah I'm a bit wary about job prospects given I'm considering resigning for good from my workplace. But until I don't have anything secured, I know that I need to keep being tied here. And I really hate that.

In any case, I've started giving myself the homework that I need to send applications to five openings every day. I've been able to keep at it so far, so only thing there's left to do is see where it takes me.

Are you dealing with any health-related problems right now? I'm pretty sure I'm consistently going through high blood pressure from work. Every weekday my chest feels consistently heavy/tight.

Do you think you should fight for love? It depends. Sometimes it's not worth fighting for.

Are you experiencing problems within a current relationship? No.

When you need a temporary escape, what do you do? I take these. Sometimes I'd go to a coffee shop and just alternate between people-watching and going through my phone for a change of scenery.

How long did your last feelings of heartbreak last? In contrast to the "until I die" duration I thought it would be, it actually just lasted 7 months, lol. I discovered BTS not too long after the breakup and I've since been able to move past it.

Do you ever go shopping with your parents (not including grocery shopping)? Yeah sometimes, when we go out on Sundays.

When the weather is chilly but humid, what kind of things do you tend to wear? Chilly but humid is a sensation completely unfamiliar to me because where I live you only get hot and humid, or more hot and more humid.

When you’re walking somewhere, do you bring an iPod to listen to? I haven't used an iPod in like 13 years, though all the music I listen to when outdoors is in my phone.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder before? How did it affect your daily life? No.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience: Yeah, a few times. Last time was about a month ago when I drank my coffee that I had actually made the night before. It didn't taste off, but apparently it started to go off already so I didn't know it would affect me until I threw up like four times in a row.

Have you ever read anything by Chuck Palahniuk? What did you think? No.

How do you tend to amuse yourself on long car journeys? It depends on the people I'm with. If it's with my family, I just come up with a bunch of questions to ask everyone in the car; that way everyone and myself are all entertained. Taking surveys has definitely helped me come up with questions, haha.

If it's with close friends, it's not that hard to find ways to amuse ourselves tbh because we never run out of stories and prompts to talk about. Sometimes we'll also sing together, if we find a playlist that we all love.

If it's with workmates or otherwise a bunch of strangers, I just put on my earphones to either listen to music or watch videos to drown everything and everyone out.

Do you find that caffeinated or alcoholic drinks make you pee more than normal? Not so much with coffee; but with alcohol, yes, only because I drink so much water when I have it. I'm constantly driving myself so I'm not supposed to get intoxicated whatsoever.

How often do you need to charge your phone and iPod (on average)? Tbh just overnight. I never get to use my phone a lot since I work from home the whole day anyway.

Do you still enjoy watching Disney movies? Yes. I just watched Toy Story 1 & 2 and The Emperor's New Groove a few weeks ago.

What are some interests you have in common with your parents? Mm with my mom, I guess we both like Miss Saigon? Well, she liked it first, but because she played it on cassette so much when I was younger I ended up taking an interest in it as well.

My dad and I both like sports to an extent, but he's into basketball and MMA and I'm into wrestling. We also have some sort of a relationship with food, given his career as a chef and me just being an adventurous eater.

How old were you when your parents trusted you to stay home alone all day? I was around 14 when they stopped getting house help.

How long do you like to date someone before you bring them home to meet your parents? Can't relate. I've dated one person and never formally introduced her because she's a girl and I didn't know how they would take it.

If you could go to one country for two weeks, all expenses paid, where would you go and why? I'd go back to Da Nang in Vietnam, so I can enjoy their slow-paced living again. It was my absolute favorite part of my trip there.

Do you drink more or less water than is recommended? I'd say less. 

Do you like taking walks? I do. The problem is that this country is one of the Least Walking-Friendly Places Ever, and also, it's very hot. It sucks to walk when you're just collecting sweat the entire time.

Do you go on vacation with your family a lot? Where was the last place you went? We do it as much as we can, aka when my dad is home. Our last vacation was in Vietnam; we went to Saigon and Da Nang.

What do your parents think about piercings and tattoos? Do you agree with them? I know they're fine with tattoos because they have their own and because they never acted like it was the end of the world when my sister started getting a bunch of tattoos all over her arms. I'm not so sure about piercings, though. But sure, I like that they're nonchalant about it. My dad's mantra is your money/body, your choice and tbh that's the best it gets.

Which is the funniest name you’ve ever heard? There was actually a viral Reddit post literally just this week or was it two weeks ago? where there was someone defending themselves naming their child Nyxiryn, only to get absolutely destructed by the internet. The name is bad in itself, but it was the discussion that it made it so hilarious.

What are your religious beliefs? Are these the same as your parents’? I was born in a Roman Catholic family. I am quietly atheist.

Do you find it difficult to get to sleep early when you have to be up for something the next day? Yes, mainly because it sucks that I miss out on what's supposed to be my free time.

Unless I need to wake up early to line up for a concert or to get on a flight for a trip, in which I case I have had absolutely no trouble falling asleep early the night before hahaha.

Do you still enjoy coloring in coloring books? I love coloring.

Do you remember the Land Before Time movies? Who was your favorite character? I haven't seen them.

What’s your favorite genre of book to read? Memoirs. Self-written or otherwise.

Who has more influence over your taste in music - friends or family? All over the place, to be honest! Sometimes I'll discover new songs myself; sometimes it'd come from my sister; sometimes it'd come from internet recommendations...

When someone talks to you constantly, do you get fed up and easily irritated with them? I feel like this can't be answered with a straight yes or no. It really depends on the person. If I like them, I'd feel flattered and excited that they'd want to keep talking to me. On the other side of the spectrum, if it's an agent constantly messaging me to get insurance (because this does happen, lmao) obviously I'd get irritated.

Are you one of those people who texts back instantly? Yeah. I have my phone in hand constantly so it can't be helped.

Do you think going to college / university is the best option after you’ve left school? Here in the Philippines, it is. Education is valued very, very greatly here. It's also treated like a privilege here, sadly enough.

Is it easy to sleep late in your house, or are other people pretty noisy in the mornings? I have the worst neighbors who for some reason houses a billion fucking kids constantly screaming and crying 24/7. No, it's not easy to sleep in; I've woken up earlier than I'd want to on more than one occasion because of those brats.

Do you prefer watching movies alone or with other people? With other people.

What’s your favourite place to get pizza from? I've tried so many different pizza places all my life but I'm sorry, nothing for me beats good ol' fucking Pizza Hut LOL

Do you ever do something, and then wonder how many people are currently doing the same thing as you? Only like 9 out of 10 times.

When’s the last time the power went out in your house? Couple of months back during Typhoon Carina. Fortunately we didn't have it as bad as many other cities; power just flicked off and on, then off and on before it came back on for good.

Is there a laundry basket in your room? If yes, what color is it? It's in the bathroom, not in my room. It's brown.

Do you like those different flavored Tootsie Rolls? Idk, I've never had a Tootsie Roll I feel like.

Do you keep your shoes on a shoe rack, or just throw them somewhere? Yeah we have two shoe racks.

Think of the last verbal argument you were in; what caused it? Been a while since I've gotten in one.

Does your refrigerator have one door or two? Two. Left is freezer, right is the fridge.

Do you smoosh bugs, or just let ‘em go? Unless they're flying around me or on my skin, I let them go.

Do you know anyone who collects stamps? Nope.

What was the last thing you deleted off of your computer? On my work computer, it was all the files from 2023.

[thessalian]

Thess vs The Weekend Spoon Budget

Well, I have a whole weekend all to myself (which is me looking at the bright side of "My Saturday D&D shenanigans had to be cancelled again this week). Of course, I guess it's not technically all to myself because I suppose I should put those spoons towards household chores etc. So it's another Thess Is A Motherfucking Adult weekend ... to a point. See, the actual chores list goes something like "clean out the fridge, take out the trash and the recycling (which is not easy if you're me), and do some laundry". However, there are some other things that aren't quite chores but are sort of chores because they probably need doing by the standards of making my life easier but don't necessarily need doing by the standards of good housekeeping etc.

See, while I did not get tapped for overtime this week, some of it's still the same old bullshit. We seemed to be doing better typing-wise towards the end of the week (and that was with New Girl being away, so I dunno what's up with that), but I did get stuck with all the long-ass complicated bits of typing and the shit no one likes to do because the accents involved are a trial. Also they're trying to catch up with months of placenta reports so if I see one more fucking placenta form I am going to scream. Anyway, point is, not overtime-busy, but busy. And that's made things like lunch fall by the wayside. I don't generally have time or spoons to throw something together, even a sandwich. Too many steps involved in making a sandwich. So I don't want this to be a recurring thing, obviously. Food is good.

Now, I figured out how to make potato salad the other week. Which is good, because I like potato salad. So I thought, why not make other things like that, that I can just slop into a bowl and eat? So I thought chicken macaroni salad, and I do have all the ingredients for that, I think. So there's going to be boiling some macaroni, cooking some chicken, letting it all cool and Mixing Things. Stuff like that.

Of course, I also kind of want to fill the cookie jar. Now, if I want chocolate chip cookies (and I do), I'm going to have to make some cookie dough to chill. I do want to make more snickerdoodles. Maybe more three-ingredient peanut butter cookies. On top of that, I still have two more bananas left so I can make more banana bread (I kinda ate all my banana bread). So Things For Nibbles in the house. Problem is, with some of this stuff, I do need a couple of more ingredients. Sugar, for one. Eggs, because the corner shop only had medium eggs (which are going to become hard-boiled eggs so I can have some easy protein). Unsalted butter. Sour cream for the banana bread. Also I'm low on garlic salt and that cannot be allowed to stand. Soooooooo that means I probably have to go out farther than the corner shop today. Woe. I mean, I'd go to the little Co-Op down the road, but their selection is woeful. Eh, at least it's not miserably cold.

Right. Time to spend some spoons doing the Adulting Shit. Then I can go out and pick up stuff, and then come back home and do more Adulting Shit, and maybe have enough time and spoons to have some fun later.

Sometimes being an adult sucks, but at least it'll make for good eating later.

[fenimores-book-nook]

Autumn, stars, the Greens, and books.

10.15.24 ~ Tuesday

Happy spooky season and welcome back to the Book Nook! I hope all is well in your life and if all is not well, the pain is temporary and in the wise words of John Green, "Pain demands to be felt." (The Fault in Our Stars)

Speaking of John Green...we're not talking about him yet.

AUTUMN!!! It is finally, finally, starting to feel like actual Autumn where I live. It's been cold in the mornings but then an unholy hot temperature in the afternoons. But yesterday was the first day it actually felt like Fall. And today. TODAY. It's a sweatpants-pullover-jacket on top-cold! The high today is only 60, let's gooooooo!

I am currently at work right now and not that it's been a bad time, but really all I want to do is go home and do the following: make a nice lunch with hot tea, warm up my weighted teddy bear, make a cozy place on the couch with blankets and cuddle buddies (stuffed animals), light Fall candles, and watch Hocus Pocus 2. It sounds amazing. But I guess I'll just yearn for it for two more hours.

Stars. Space. People, space is so cool. And the stars are absolutely gorgeous. I don't really know how much about astrology I believe, but it's still really cool to think about. That there's just this whole language of sorts that belongs to the stars. A language of the stars. That's so pretty.

I recently got this app a close friend shared with me called "Co--Star" and it's been interesting to read what it sends me. Today's words include:

"Dreams and dreamers break the rules."

Do ~ Rehash, Consequences, Set boundaries Don't ~ Interrogations, Mouse traps, Between the lines

It's fun to see how it lines up with the day or just interesting to read them. It's also been a nice way to step away from things that I've been taught that don't feel like they line up with who I am now. That's something I've been trying to do lately; take a step away and gain perspective. Not to worry about what others tell me I "should" do, but do instead what I need to do. "DON'T SHOULD," PEOPLE!

Now, we can talk about John Green. Well, not just him but also Hank Green. As you know from my last blog post-if you read it-I'm a big fan of John Green (maybe I talked about Hank too, but I forget). Recently, I found that they have a podcast together! "Dear Hank and John." And let me tell you...it's SO good. It used to be classified as a comedy podcast, but now is philosophy and self-help. Probably because it technically isn't a comedy podcast, except I crack up like five times an episode. They talk about some real stuff and discuss really interesting things. I have been loving it-I know they've been doing it for a while now and I'm very late getting on the Dear Hank and John train, but shush.

Something that includes the Greens topic and my next topic: books, The Fault in Our Stars, OF COURSE!! I did finish re-reading it, back on Friday last week and promptly started reading it for the fourth time the next day. Although, I re-watched the movie as well and I think that got my fill full. Plus, I've been getting into some other books and that is what we're getting into now!

I really enjoy talking about the books I'm currently reading (and just books in general) so I thought I'd do a sort of update on them, since my last post was that too! Like I said, I finished re-reading The Fault in Our Stars, I also finished re-reading my book club book (I first read it sometime last year), Hide by Kiersten White. Then, the next book I said I would like to read was Turtles All the Way Down by John Green. I started reading it last week and it's been pretty good, but I'm not sure if I'm getting super into it right now. (I do this thing sometimes where I start a book but wait a few days to add it to my "Goodreads" because I don't know if I'm getting into it yet.) Which I did already, but I also recently went to the library...so you can see where this is going.

Kind of backtracking to the Greens' podcast, John had mentioned one of his favorite books in one of the episodes I just listened to. The Martian by Andy Weir, which is also a movie starring Matt Damon. Literally just because John Green talked about it so highly, I want to see if I can get into it. It seems like an interesting and funny book, plus, after I'd read it, I could watch Matt Damon act. So, it's a win-win.

I found The Martian at the library, though I haven't started it but I'm sure you all will hear about it when I do. ;) I also got Delicious in Dungeon, vol. 1, by Ryoko Kui and The Alchemist Who Survived Now Dreams of a Quiet City Life, book 1, by Usata Nonohara, and earlier last week, I picked up The Night Librarian by Christopher Lincoln.

The only books of those I've started are these:

This one is a middle grade graphic novel and I've been really liking it! A lot of it takes place in the NYC library which is somewhere I want to visit one of these days, so it's so cool to see the drawings of it! The idea of it is that books are magical (obviously) and the characters inside the books can get restless, repeating the same stories over and over again. More so the older the book is. So sometimes the characters escape and they have to find them and put them back in their books-I think. It sounds awesome, right?! So, of course I had to try it out. Middle grade graphic novels are some of my favorite comfort books. <3

This is the other one I've started! It has a Manga-look to it, but it's actually not. Although, there's a note at the beginning of the book saying: "Hey! The Japanese edition of this novel begins with a manga section. To preserve the right-to-left reading orientation of the material, we've moved that section to the back of the book, so flip to the end, read that first, then come back here to enjoy the rest of the story!" Which I think is really cool of them to do. So, technically, it is a Manga, just a small section of it.

I've been wanting to get really into a series of books (preferably a longer series that's easy to read and be engaged with, but my attention span isn't large). I think there's three or four of these books-so sorry if I'm wrong on that, I think that's about how many my library had-and they looked like fun fantasy reads.

I haven't read a lot of this one yet, but from what I can tell it's about a young alchemist girl who survived the destruction of her village by having to set off a spell that would put her to sleep, but awake her once it was complete. She accidentally stays asleep for a lot longer than she expected and wakes up to a very different world. That's all I can tell you in-mostly-confidence, but I love the vibe of it. :)

And that brings today's blog to an end! I hope you have great things in your life that you love to talk about as well! Remember: you are not expected to know the answer to every question you have, you can take your time, and just be.

Until the next one,

Thalia <3

[rozinaaa]

The Inevitable Thing

By the end of this week, I will pretty much be unemployed (sad yeehaw), but to be honest, I'm kinda over this job that I'm about to leave, since it's basically time to move on, and that this job was way too much in my comfort zone, so I think that doing something different (and ideally, more in person) will help me grow.

The job was great until the New Year rolled around, and the work slowly became scarce since it was too easy to do, to the point where it felt boring and that I was going through the motions of creating the same few things day in and day out, so to combat that, I pretended to look busy, which I discovered is actually more exhausting than actually being busy and having actual work to do.

One of the main reasons why my contract is coming to an end (and why I'm basically laid off, even though the job itself was just a temporary contract) was simply due to the fact that there wasn't enough work for me to do, so I guess it makes sense, because otherwise, I'd get paid to do nothing, and although that can sound like a dream come true, I actually want to be productive, and I actually want to do stuff, despite some potential underlying things (I'm looking at you, being on the verge of a heart attack, and potential undiagnosed ADHD as my attention span is once again shot) that prevent me from being my best and productive self, but then again, hustle culture is basically a macho masculine myth, so I just do my best by operating at around 80% capacity to avoid crashing and burning out.

Anyway, here's what I'll miss from my job:

Some of the coworkers that I got along well with the most

The fact that I was viewed as a productive member of society, simply because I had a full time job

Having that one day out in the week where I went to the office to break the monotony of working from home all the time, although it was only good when all the decent coworkers were there, because otherwise, it'd just be a massive waste of time and money

Getting paid at the end of the month

Actually being employed

Going on micro days out with the decent coworkers during the lunch break

Here's what I won't miss from that job:

Pretending to be busy

Going into the office when none of the decent coworkers were there

Meetings that definitely could have been an email

The monotony of working from home all the time, and not stepping out of the house for days at a time

My childlike manager who felt like a 10-year-old trapped in the body of a person in their early 30's (with their distinct but understandable Yorkshire accent, where they just don't say the letter "T" at all for some reason, so "photo" (for example) becomes "pho'o" (and "innovative" becomes "innova'ive" etc), which sounds like a lot more effort than just saying it normally, not to mention that dropping the letter "T" feels very unprofessional to me, and the fact that they basically gave off massive ENFP vibes also felt a bit weird) and they pretty much swore like a sailor, but didn't actually aim the swears at anyone

Basically needing a PhD to understand what important things the IT Sysadmins were saying to everyone since they said simple things in the most complex ways imaginable

Being chained to a desk and staring at a screen for eight hours everyday, no matter what

The overall lack of structure and targets

Vague descriptions for tasks, where I spent more time figuring out what I had to do than actually doing the work itself

The lack of a decent workflow and interesting work for me to do

Not having the creative freedom to define the brand, within reason

The fact that I was the only woman on the Software team, since the other 2 women at the company worked in Sales and Marketing roles

Naturally being unable to understand bro culture and male banter due to pretty obvious reasons

The fact that everyone else on the team had much more technical knowledge than I did, to the point where it felt impossible for me to understand and keep up with it all in such a short amount of time

The commute to Leeds and back, which felt way too long for me, but I'm glad I didn't have to do it 5 days a week, since that would have been way too much time and money gone on sitting on a fast train and staring into space (and sometimes having the privilege of listening to the Sniffing Orchestra (which consisted of other commuters sniffing every two seconds) if I was lucky enough, not, since it was actually very awful and did my head in) for about an hour each time, since the phone signal and internet connections were too sporadic to do anything meaningful on the train

Some of the guys who were basically full of themselves, and the ones that I actively avoided, simply because they were full of themselves

Feeling like a forgotten NPC at times, simply because I was the only on the team that wasn't a guy or a developer

Despite the cons vastly outweighing the pros, I still feel bitter and heartbroken about leaving the job, because although I've had other jobs in the past, this one was my first professional job out of University, so it feels different to the other jobs that I've done.

However, at the same time, it feels like I'm swimming under a thin layer of ice, and that I'm ready to break through the ice to see what happens, with this meaning that I'm ready to see how the rest of 2024 will unfold, so at times, I wish there was the ability to see what comes next, like watching a YouTube video and getting a preview of the things that will happen later on in the video when you hover over the progress bar, just so I know what to expect, but the closest thing to that is getting a deja vu, which is often very hit and miss.

For my next job, I think I know what I'd like:

Good coworkers

Being productive and doing meaningful work

Stability

The job itself to be a permanent and full time role, so that I don't have to keep looking for jobs all the time

Some sort of structure and targets that are realistic to achieve

A steady and consistent workflow

More days in the office, but with a shorter commute (having a driving license would be good, and hopefully, I'll be able to get mine by the end of the year, since this will allow me to have more independence, as well as being able to apply for more jobs, especially if the office is based away from a town centre and has weaker public transport links)

A little bit more professionalism, but not too much to the point where it feels too stifling and robotic

More women on the team that I'd be working in, although an equal amount of guys and girls would be good for me (since art school was full of girls, but the startup was full of guys, so I definitely need a balance between both genders instead of being within one extreme or the other, to the point where I accidentally forget that one of the genders exist)

Some coworkers that have similar skills and experience to me, so that we at least have something in common, instead of me feeling like a fish out of water and trying to navigate a place that is the complete opposite of myself

I'd like to do more of a Content/Marketing role, since I'd like to improve those skills, and also because those skills seem a lot more valuable and meaningful to me than just coding a bunch of crap in a million different ways, since Content, Marketing, and Graphic Design often go hand in hand with each other, so it's good to combine my skills and experience, not to mention that it'd help me with the curation front and any other shots at freelancing and self employment

Overall, I think that processing these thoughts and feelings will help me deal with The Inevitable Thing, as well as allowing me to consider my next steps, just so that I know exactly what I'm aiming for, instead of throwing my CV everywhere, since I realise that doing that isn't really a good strategy.

All I know is that this time next week, I'll be officially unemployed, applying for benefits, updating my CV, and working on the curation front on my broken Linux laptop, which doesn't sound fun, but hopefully July will give me some good news, so that the spell of unemployment doesn't last for too long.

[bantinglikewilliam]

Banting dinner day 2!

Hey ho, let's go. This little tiny boxed wine is exactly three glasses of cabernet, La Croix, mediocre Starkist tuna salad and crackers, gyro meat, and mangos.

There's vegetables in tuna salad, right? That counts as a vegetable if ketchup does (does it still?)

No urgent errands to run this afternoon that can't wait 3 hours so yes, it's 3:30pm, and I'm nervous but gonna drink three glasses of wine with dinner for science.

Did you ever notice that Aldi tuna salad is 100x better than the name brand? But I own it, and it must have some nutrients in it, even if it is filled with polyunsaturated fat (boo, if you're not sure why this is a bad thing, it's because the more unsaturated a fat is, the more free radicals it forms in your body. Free radicals are why people say you need to eat antioxidants. It's why more and more processed food manufacturers are switching to "high oleic" aka more saturated varieties of oils...but that doesn't fix the root issue. Even palm oil, which is very saturated and stable, does this. But that's a discussion for another day!). Still, I'm hungry, and it tastes better than I remember, just has a bitter aftertaste.

This wine is definitely more acidic than Coppola's Claret but it does pair well with the gyro meat.

This is not the Indian mango I was expecting. It has a weird aftertaste, like melons and cucumbers do, it's too fibrous, and it makes my mouth itch a little. I have what is known as an "oral pollen allergy" which is another reason I almost never eat fresh fruits and veg. My body basically is telling me "You don't need to eat these things to be healthy." Or at least cook them first. Hard pass. I can always freeze it and then try baking it later.

I must look up which fruits and veg were widely available during different seasons in Banting era England. I'm tempted to fry bananas or plantains and consume that as my fruit, or I can eat baby food, but I might have to stick to things like baked apples because I know most fruits were less sweet and smaller 161 years ago and they definitely couldn't waltz into Whole Foods and get watermelon in January. Someone call a historian! I want my diet to be as historically accurate as possible.

Also, I'm curious now: I'm happy to not drink during the middle of the day, it does feel a bit like a hassle, but are there any cultures left in the world where it is still culturally acceptable to drink like Mad Men and have a three martini lunch? I'm not endorsing it, I will not be drinking before or during working hours even if I work from home, but I'm just curious. There must be, right? My best guess would be somewhere in Eastern Europe, although I'd find it hard to believe if Russians didn't at least proclaim to deem that unacceptable these days.

Although one time during the pandemic this guy from a legit healthcare company called me drunk as hell to see if I would take a survey about my insurance. He pronounced the "Dr." in my address as "Doctor" dead serious and stood by it without apology. He only mildly slurred but did have enough lag time and silly mistakes and even a giggle or two which informed me he was almost certainly not dyslexic or something similar but crunk. I looked up his employer for remote jobs because I figured it would be a sweet gig if he hadn't been fired yet but sadly they required cross country travel for training which wasn't feasible at the time.

Update: Ugh, this tuna salad sucks, I can't finish it. Trying to finish gyro meat, it's fine but technically a few days past expiration, but it's hard to just eat a pile of meat, bruh, even when it's moist and spiced so nice.

And it's almost as hard to drink this much wine, but at least it goes down without chewing. I gotta re-read his pamphlet, it's been a few years, but I don't remember him drinking much water? I could not drink this much wine without water. Oof. It's heavy.

Did my most valiant but could not choke down the last slice of gyro meat. Back in the fridge it goes.

[should-be-sleeping]

When last I updated you proper, I'd just raised a little hell and gotten our neighbor into a proper hospital bed after she'd been forcibly removed from her front lawn and left to sit for almost 24 hours in the E.R. on the gurney the ambulance had wheeled her in on. By that evening administration magically found her a room and she was formally admitted.

We texted a lot that night and again come morning, after she finally got some rest. I intended to go visit but they had her all over the place running tons of tests, so I didn't get to, but we talked a lot on the phone. Things that should be high were dangerously low and things that should be low were dangerously high -- preexisting conditions aside, they were trying to figure out w-t-f.

I went to see her the next day. I had to take the bus because it was the weekend and the kid's afraid of hospitals, but that's okay. I don't mind public transportation (esp. being from a place without it).

She looked a lot better and was up and walking around. When I arrived, she met me at the elevator to escort me to her room. It was pretty nice, a private room with its own bathroom and a nice view from the window (pictured). We shared her lunch (they brought her apple slices for dessert but she hasn't got any teeth, so) and had a nice conversation.

She was so much better than when I'd seen her down in the E.R. She had an IV now and was being fed and properly hydrated and medicated for all of The Everything going on with her health. I met her day nurse and he seemed kind, which is an important attribute for a nurse.

After a while I had to head home because I wanted to catch the last bus before sunset but she refused to let me ride the bus home alone that late in the day and instead got me a lyft. I've never taken a lyft before but once I figured out which car to get into, it was pleasant. The app said to look out for the white SUV. You'll never guess how many white SUVs were at the curb when I got there (it was #$&*ing 7, lmao).

I texted her to let her know I made it home safely, as custom! And then I went over to her place to water her plants. Most of them had died last time she was hospitalized, I didn't want that to happen to her again.

The next day both my partner and I visited her again. We brought forms for her to fill out to appeal her eviction (that were technically due the day she was taken to the E.R.) and helped her fill them out so we could file them for her only to discover they were the wrong forms. The guy who served her gave her the wrong paperwork and the wrong instructions. Great! Just what she needs, more problems.

Another neighbor and I got Adult Protective Services on her case, because with everything going on, she definitely needs the aid of some professionals, between her healthcare and her living situation it's too much for her to deal with and I can only be there sometimes, because I've also got to be here for the kid.

We met her caseworker and she was great. She immediately got on the phone with the property manager to figure what was going on and then started calling around to find her a place to go if needed. She was told she had at least until early or mid December before any action was taken, so hopefully APS can find her placement before then, while we try to help her start packing... because moving is now inevitable it's just a matter of where.

She may have to go into emergency housing temporarily, meaning all of her furniture and Stuff will have to go into a storage unit until a senior living apartment opens up for her to move into. Unfortunately this is the most populous state... so that may take a while.

After about a week in hospital she was finally discharged. Despite fluctuating oxygen levels, they discharged her with nothing to help stabilize that at home. She saw her primary care physician about a week after being discharged and he also sent her away without any oxygen or inhalers because at the moment her vitals were taken her o2 was fine. Sure, Jan.

At the very least we got her home nurse back though. A nurse checks in on her once a week and a shower nurse comes to help her bathe. In December she'll also get a support person who will visit to help keep her place clean and safe. All very good things that will greatly improve her quality of life.

In the meanwhile we do most of her shopping and a lot of her meal prep and cleaning and of course just helping her get around, and hanging out. Social interaction is so vital! I was sick for a week and without that simple daily visit she struggled. Really makes me think about elderly put into nursing homes where family and friends can't easily visit, and how swiftly they decline physically and mentally. Even a 5☆ facility doesn't mean jack if they don't consider social interaction medicine. If you've got an old person in your life, pay them a little visit. It's hard, I know, but harder for them if you don't.

There's more, but I've run out of time to type. So it will again have to wait.

Tough day today... and friendly reminder that being human is easier when we help each other.

I saw one of our neighbors, an older woman we sometimes talk to in passing, sitting outside of her house. I don't know what exactly made me look twice, but on second glance as we drove by I realized her walker was in the grass. She was otherwise just sitting there, like she had a thousand times before, so it would have been easy to assume she was fine and go on with my life as normal but something told me to go check in on her anyway.

She was not fine. She was the polar opposite of fine. Just diagnosed with terminal cancer not fine. No next of kin not fine. A veteran facing eviction from her house for missing rent while in the hospital not fine. In constant debilitating pain not fine. Only semi-lucid not fine. She was extremely alone not fine.

I thought, at most, she might be bored while unable to pick up her walker not fine. A five minute detour from my day not fine. A help her back into her house and say "see you later!" not fine. Instead I spent the last three hours with her because she was so scared and alone and no one should be alone.

We talked a lot while I was there. She's actually two years younger than my mom (who also has cancer but slightly better luck, I guess). I helped her into her house and got her a drink and we talked about what all is going on with her. None of it was good. I was as reassuring as I could be, but there's only so much of this I can actually help her with.

"Why did you come?" she asked through tears.

"Because you looked like you might need some help."

She called me an angel. I told her I was just doing my best. I told her that kindness should never be rare. That we should all try to make the world just a little bit better than it was.

She offered to pay me but I told her I was just there as a friend. Before today we were basically strangers. No need to repay me with anything other than her company, I assured her. She cried, a lot. I managed not to somehow. Something tells me she had needed to cry long before this but in being Strong she never had the chance to.

She needed to get her mail, which is a long walk when you're disabled because it is not at all handicap accessible (across a parking lot, over a bridge, across a small field). So I helped her get her mail. We stopped every three feet because her pain was so bad, but she was determined to be able to go do this with me and not just send me on an errand. I patiently stayed with her and reminded her, through her apologies, it was fine to take our time: there was a nice breeze and birds were singing. She appreciated this. She loves nature.

Halfway back she said she wanted to go to the pool. To put her feet in the water. She loves water, and has not been able to even see the pool in a month. Neither of us were dressed for swimming, but I took her to the pool anyway. There is a stair leading down to it, meaning she couldn't bring her walker, so I offered her my arm.

We went to the pool. She put her feet in the water and then, with more energy and enthusiasm than I'd seen the whole time, she jumped in. In her fancy dress! She was instantly ten years younger at least, clear and happy, floating in the sun. Dress and all. She grew up with a pool and had been on a swim team.

I sat by the edge of the pool while she swam, keeping her company and also making sure she was okay. When she got tired I took her back home and then had to help her get undressed and redressed. I made sure she felt no shame. Getting out of wet clothes is hard for anyone, let alone someone with like twenty pounds of tumors racking them with constant pain.

She was so fucking happy to have gone swimming.

She is trying to "make everything right" before she goes. Trying to repay her debt to society and her debts in general. She couldn't understand why the corporation that owns our houses wouldn't take her money. She was genuinely distressed -- not to be homeless on her deathbed but to not leave this world with a clean slate. I told her intent matters. She can only do her best.

This company not letting her repay her debt was their fault, not hers.

When I finally needed to go, I told her to let me know any time she needed a hand or just wanted company. She told me she was going to die tonight. I told her I hoped not, so I could see her tomorrow. I offered her a hug, we hugged and she sobbed for a solid ten minutes into my shoulder. I told her she was okay. That it was okay.

When I got home I cried myself, because I could not believe she was going through all of that alone. I cannot even imagine how isolated she must have felt. Once I pulled myself back together I sent her a text reminding her to reach out any time and I'd do my best to come over. Like, any time at all.

I hope she is here tomorrow.

[jesslockwood]

Photo Opportunities

Word Count: 2.7k

Pairing(s): Tom Holland x Actress!Reader

Warnings: FLUFF with a slightly (barely) suggestive sentence towards the end 

A/n: damn I can't write anything except actress reader? smh but this is for @londonspidey ‘s sit-com Writing challenge (ik I'm early lol) but I was so excited I wrote the whole thing in one go lmao the prompt is bolded!

Calling yourself a fan was an understatement. You were obsessed with anything and everything marvel. And oddly enough, you could after today say you were in the club. It wasn’t a public fact yet, until later that day actually, at the Marvel panel at comic con that you were being announced as the actress for the character, Felica Hardy and no one else knew except for the people who cast you and your best friend who signed an NDA. You were technically still a known actress for your roles on television mainly as Thalia on the PJO Disney + series and a couple of still decently sized films. 

You were currently wrapping up signing autographs for fans of yours for today. Your team had planned it out so it wasn’t suspicious that you were at the con with a few of your castmates scattered doing other junkets and press so people wouldn’t guess who they were acting as the cast for new marvel projects. 

You had been planning to go meet your best friend, who wasn’t in the industry before getting a text that she bought you both a photo-op with someone and she wouldn’t tell you who. You couldn’t only assume it was a marvel actor that you would indeed, freak out. 

Y/b/n: btw I brought you a mask. I get the wig lol.

You: please tell me it doesn’t cover my full face. Also, how are we posing?

Y/b/n: I bought as many photo ops as I could so a lot of different ones, And if I tell you the poses it’ll spoil it.

You: is this with the money I pay you to be my assistant with? Lol fine I’m omw with security

Y/b/n: maybe… 

Y/b/n: and they’ll need more backup security for who we’re getting a photo op with than you do for your hellfire.

You roll your eyes before taking your stuff and exiting the booth, before heading out the backways with staff security and your detailed security for the day. You only had security because you wanted to explore the con when you weren’t needed.

Your best friend had also been your assistant for the con weekend, but you didn’t want her to be confined to you the whole three days so when she could, you would let her explore it, at least she could experience it as a fan, right?

When you made it to that part of the building, you wanted to wait in line with her, which your security didn’t agree to so she texted you when there were about five people ahead of her. She was one of the last in line, with you asking her to be kind, so others would get their chance to be first with whomever it was. 

When she texted you and your detailed exit, getting a few stares and others taking their phones out to either take photos or tweet, you wave at them before joining your best friend in line.

“Here,” she says before handing you none other than a black cat mask before she puts on a red wig. 

You glare at her slightly trying to not make a scene, before putting it on. 

“I’m assuming you're Mary Jane?” you laugh figuring out that it had to be someone from Spider-Man.

“How’d you- never mind.” She laughs with you.

She then explains how she’s going to pose for your five photo ops, joking in between how she should “get a raise for this”.

You catch sight of him before sucking in your breath. This was either going to go down amazingly or terribly, there was no in-between with you. 

“Excuse Me, are you Y/n Y/l/n?”

You turn around and are met by some fans who were standing in line behind you.

“I am! How’s your con going?” you ask politely to the two of them.

“It's going amazing! We love you as Thalia! Could we maybe get a picture? Only if it’s okay?”

“Of course! Thank you for supporting me!” your best friend grabs their phone to take the photo, before you take off the mask, and stand between the two fans, and your best friend snaps a few photos. 

“Thank you so much! And Are you fans of Tom?”

You start slowly walking back to catch up to the line. 

“Yeah, I love him as Spiderman, but I also enjoy his other roles. He's very talented, I'd love to work with him one day!” 

“Have you seen him in Uncharted?  We love Him as Nathan drake!”

“I have, he was amazing per usual! How are you two posing with him?”

They show you their innovative pose. You laugh and tell them it's great before you have to wish them goodbye before heading up for your turn for the photo op. 

“How do we want to pose- hang on, I recognize you!”

You freeze slightly before your friend mouths for you to flirt. You look down at the mask in your hand before getting into character and saying “Of course you do Spidey, I'm always causing you trouble.” you put on the mask and wink. 

He seems slightly stunned, laughing, feeling like he’s seen you somewhere, not only because he found you extremely gorgeous, while in his peripheral vision he sees his brother/ assistant, Harry waving like a madman on the side. 

Your friend directs you both through the poses, first, one both him putting “webs” onto you as she looks over his shoulder, the second one, both of you kissing his cheeks, the third, all jumping in the air in your best superhero poses, the fourth one she gets a photo op alone and the last one she gives to you,

“Seriously, who are you?”

“Your Wildest dreams, baby,” you say, taking off the mask. 

Your best friend yells “freestyle” from the sidelines before Tom dips you, gently, with you shocked, holding the mask out with your free arm and the photo captures that moment. 

 He gently helps you stand back up fully, not before you drop the mask.

“Nice moves Spider-Man.”

“Not so bad yourself, Black Cat.”

You laugh before, taking off with your best friend, well more her dragging you to the printing station leaving the mask behind. Tom picks it up before shoving it in his back pocket to hopefully give back if he could find you. 

-

`You were sitting in the green room, trending on Twitter before you were actually supposed to be trending on Twitter, and god knows where else.  

Someone had snuck a video of you and Tom, up till him dipping you, and a video of you interacting with the fans in the line.

Your Y/b/n was currently reading off some tweets out loud

“‘A kind queen we stan.’  I agree, I also agree with ‘Date her if you can't date me tom!!!’.

‘THALIA AND PETER PARKER??? My two fandoms have collided.’ same, same. Oo this one says, ‘if she ain’t playing black cat I will sue marvel.’ I'm dying at the reply ‘She needs to post the photos or I'll sue her!’. This one’s funny, ‘she could squash him like a bug in heels but he liked his queen like that.’.”

She pauses watching you texting.

“Y/n? Y/n?”

“What? Sorry I was only half listening. I was texting my publicist. She said to stay on the DL until tonight. 

“Well we should get food, you haven't eaten since this morning.”

“By the way, your show has shot to number one on Disney +. Also, you have like three times the followers you had before, probably cause you're trending on every platform, even Tumblr!”

“Wow you should just become my social media manager now.” you joke trying to ease the joy yet weirded out feeling in your stomach.

“Does that come with a raise? Because after today I've spent way too much of what I'm paid.” she jokes back.

-

After finishing his photo ops Tom asked Harry who she was and to find out. By the time he finished autographs for the day, Tom and Harry walked to the panel room in the back for announcements, one that included him for the new Avengers movie, while Harry gave him the rundown.

“So she’s an actress, she plays Thalia on Disney plus’ Percy Jackson series, and that's her most known project. The other girl with her is her assistant best friend, and now she's trending everywhere. People dug up some old photos of her being a marvel/Spider-Man fan, so there's that. And she's here at the con for the rest of the weekend. She's doing photo ops tomorrow at one, and yes she's single from what I gather since you were looking at her like this.” he makes a weird face before tom smacks him.

“And plus you have time in your schedule to get a photo op with her, that is if you eat lunch quickly.”

That gave Tom an idea. 

“Harry I’m going to need you to book me one, oh and help me find a Spider-Man costume!” He says, before leaving harry to do ‘assistant’ work. entering the green room for the announcements, watching them announce a new movie.

“We are so excited to announce to the Marvel Universe, and spider-verse-” that perked tom’s ears, “-directed by Gina Prince-Bythewood, and today we are announcing our amazing Miss Felicia Hardy, please give a warm welcome to the stage, Your Black Cat!”

You suddenly emerged in an aisle way, dressed in all black with a leather jacket, black ankle boots, and of course black sunglasses indoors.

The music is marvel music until it suddenly changes after a recorded laugh from you into “I can’t be tamed by Miley Cyrus”.

You start owning the music while saying hi and touching fans’ hands. You decide to take off your sunglasses and throwing them to a fan, for them to keep, before getting on stage.

“What a Performance from the one the only Y/n Y/l/n!”

You laugh, being met with the loudest applause you had heard all con before being handed a Mic. 

“Thank you but I'm a terrible dancer.” You Joke.

Tom was staring at the screen stunned. You had been the black cat all along. You were in the marvel universe and spidey one,  so he'd definitely be seeing more of you. The hard part is that you seemed so genuine when you talked, interacted with fans and was no doubt, stunning. 

“Better close your mouth or the flies will get in.” Tom turns around to find the voice of none other than his friend slash bully, Sebastian Stan, along with Anthony Mackie.

“Looks like the kid has a crush!” Anthony laughs, pointing to the screen you were on.

“I-I don’t! I don’t even know her!” Tom tries to come to his own defense, hopelessly.

“She’s got you whipped already don’t even deny it.” Harry comes in, joining the teasing of one, Tom Holland.

“Maybe we can invite her out for drinks tonight, then fanboy over here can meet her, and then probably scare her off!” Anthony mentions.

“You haven’t looked on the internet? They’ve already met.” Seb says, before showing Anthony twitter. 

Anthony stands there slightly shocked before bursting into laughter.

“Well, she’s damn well a keeper for Tom since she obviously likes him.”

A staff member peaks their head in the green room to tell Tom he’s up next.

“Well, that’s my cue to leave you two!”

On the other hand, you were on an adrenaline high from being on stage, and seeing all the fans. You knew tomorrow was going to be crazy, as you expected people to book your photo op left and right since the announcement. 

You had decided to decline an offer from your fellow marvel universe castmates, Sebastian Stan and Anthony Mackie, which they so graciously told you that whenever you’re free, the offer still stood. 

You had gotten to your hotel room seeing your phone blowing up on the social media apps for the second time that day. 

You responded to the important stuff, before heading to bed, knowing it was going to be hectic.

-

You had been right, it was absolutely insane, the number of people who showed up. You had fully booked all your time slots for photo ops. You had seen so many people dressed up in marvel cosplay, ranging from Loki to Ironman, even some people dressed up as your character, which was wildly insane to see.

You had been nearing the end of the line and had enjoyed every moment with the fans, and you couldn’t wait for your autographing session later that day, to truly get a chance to talk to the fans and connect with them and how they felt about you being their beloved Black Cat. 

After a few more photos, posing how they wanted, you see a fully dressed, head to toe, mask and all, Spider-Man. You had seen some spider-mans but most took off their masks to snap a picture. The person was the last in line. 

“Hey Black Cat.” The southern American accented voice tells you, seeming very familiar. 

“Hey, Spider, what poses do you have up your sleeve?” you ask kindly.

“I bought a few, Cat.” they laugh.

“Okay, You can do whatever a spider can right?” you pull out a line out of the comics jokingly.

“I can do flips if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Is that some kind of nerd pick-up line? Because it’s only kind of working.” you laugh. 

“I really can, but this is one.”

He gets down on one knee, holding a black cat mask instead of a ring. The photographer captures the shocked expression on your face.

“I- Don’t- What- Spider I-” 

“Ow My feelings…” Suddenly their voice changes into a British accent before they pull off the mask to reveal-

“Tom?”

“I guess you don’t have a spidey sense darling?” The photographer captures the moment without warning eating the moment up. 

You laugh at that. 

“I guess you found out my true identity Spider. And it’s nice to officially meet you, Tom.”

He laughs, just as nervous as you, he notices he has gotten closer to you and a strand of hair loosely is blowing in your face, so naturally, he pushes it behind your ear. Another snap of the camera can be heard. 

“NOW KISS!” a voice belonging to your best friend yells from the side, mid-eating a churro.

You both laugh really hard at that.

The both of you calm down, slowly leaning lost in the moment. The camera snaps again. You both look at the photographer weirded out, and they just shrug.

“Wait can you actually do a flip?” you ask, pulling away, not wanting prying eyes aka the photographer, to pry in your business. 

“I can, though I’d show you later, maybe in the greenroom?”

“That sounds naughty, but, sure.” you joke around. 

He laughs before, you both take off from the area going to grab the photos.

-

After spending most of the day together when you could, you get Tom’s number, before heading back to your hotel room. He texts you as soon as you get back. 

Spider: I had fun today, minus finding our assistants making out.

You: we should ‘snog’ too, it’ll gross them out ;)

You: I had fun too btw. Are you leaving tomorrow?

Spider: lol we should. And yeah an early flight, 6 am to be exact. Hbu?

You: Yeah me too... another day another dollar lol

Spider: ill miss you, Cat.

You: stop talking like we’ll never see each other again lol. As a matter of fact, come to my room, we’re watching a movie!

Spider: alright, I’ll order snacks. 

  You sigh smiling at your phone. You haven’t felt this giddy in a long time.

Your phone pings with a few Instagram notifications.

Tomholland2013 has started following you.

Tomholland2013 has tagged you in a photo.

You open Instagram to find the photo of him “proposing” to you posted.

“Ow, my leg, my- feelings...Welcome to the Universe, Cat.” the photo is captioned. You decide to post, the photo of him dipping you.

“So what do you say, Spider? Wanna help me pull off the Heist of the Heist of the Century?” you caption it, Before getting comfortable to watch a movie. 

What an opportunity ;)

Tags:

@lolooo22 @webmeupspiderdaddy @harryhollandsgirlfriend @spideyspeaches @greenorangevioletgrass @queenofthepouges @sheranatic111 @keithseabrook27

[boop-le-snoot]

masterpost ☀️ main masterlist ☀️ taglist

previously on...

Chapter 5. We have stucky, we have stevesambucky friendship, we have a new place to live and strange being a good guy because tony definitely ranted at him. Also, we're beginning the creepy part of the plot. I have decided that sam will be one of the main platonic characters in this story because I love sam.

fun fact: I used to be a creepypasta writer! Going back to my roots here, hehe.

Things had stated changing, for better or worse, much sooner than I had been prepared for - but was anyone, ever, really ready for the next big step? Certainly not me - the view that greeted me after I'd finished my shift at Jeremy's was peculiar and unexpected, so I froze, eyebrows high at the two super-soldiers parked, once again, illegally, right in front of the entrance door.

"Hi, doll," Bucky was reclined against his boyfriend comfortably, his bike standing a pace behind Steve's, who nodded companionably, a sheepish grin on his face.

"G'day," I nodded, eyeing them warily. "I think I know where this is going..."

"No, no, nothing like that," both men frantically waved their hands around, Steve coming up close to approach me slowly. "You're not in trouble. I came out here to say thanks," giving a sappy look to the grouch that was his boyfriend, Steve reached into his pocket and handed me a slip of paper. "Just, uh..."

"Those are our phone numbers. Don't hesitate to give either one of us a call if someone bothers you," Bucky took over the stammering blonde, shaking his head at the soft blush that blossomed on the good captain's face. The brunette wrapped an arm around Steve's shoulders with a shy smile of his own. "Or if you, I don't know, need someone to carry your groceries or something," he snorted. "The punk wouldn't leave it alone until we came out personally to thank you, the sap."

The laughter bubbled up from my chest as I grabbed and pocketed the paper, throughly amused and at the endearing gesture. "Sure, thanks."

"And, uh," Bucky's eyes briefly looked to the side. "We'd appreciate if you keep the status of our relationship to yourself for now. We're not, like, officially out yet."

I froze in place, mouth falling open. Surely they were aware that anybody with a functional pair of eyes could see that they were much more than 'good, lifelong friends'. "No problem, guys. Lemme know if anyone gives you shit about it though, this place," I gestured to the café behind me, "is strictly paparazzi and homophobe-free."

Steve's grin grew even more genuine. "Yeah, we heard all about it from Tony and Stephen. Said 'twas the only place they go these days."

I wasn't aware of that. "It's the paps, isn't it?" I remembered Tony's remarks.

Bucky shook his head, the metals of his prosthetic arm whirring as it recalibrated. "Not only. The public hasn't had the best reaction to a man goin' out with a man," the brunette looked away to the side, where Steve's face had fallen considerably. "And Tony's an eccentric rich man. We're jus' two soldiers. The US Army won't be too happy if we... Came out," both men were crestfallen yet determined.

I had a hunch nothing would be able to separate the two - seeing as not even seventy-odd years and brainwashing and ice couldn't keep the captain and his sarge apart, I doubted that a few government weasels could successfully do the job. Even so, it was unpleasant, to say the least, to see them deny themselves something that technically was perfectly fine in the 21st century.

I chewed on my lip, gathering my wits. "I've clocked out, I can tell you this as a friend- as a person. You don't owe the army jack shit. They do not own you, you are your own person that they experimented their German knockoff steroids on. Respectfully, fuck that shit." I firmly stated my opinion, figuring that there should have been at least someone that told Steve that he is more than his star-spangled uniform and giant metal frisbee.

The blonde scrunched his eyebrows together, fingers gripping onto his belt until the knuckles went white, the hard line of his jaw set firm.

Bucky laugh took me by surprise. "Agreed, doll. I'm too old to be hiding in back alleys and shit," he clapped on his boyfriend's shoulder. "Although I'm happy enough with just not going to prison for bein' in love with this idiot."

"Jerk," Steve's responding pout was downright adorable now that I knew the circumstances surrounding their relationship.

Which wasn't exactly surprising. As a barista, I knew my fair share about my regulars' love lives, their jobs, their kids. The tea was almost always piping hot. "Bye, boys," I smiled at them warmly, throwing a glance at the time, adjusting the strap of my bag for comfort. "Stay outta trouble!"

Steve scrambled for his bike, having noticed my pointed gesture. "Sorry, didn't mean to hold you back. There, I have a spare helmet," he gestured behind him. "I'll give you a ride."

"There's no way in Hell I'm getting on that death trap!" I shouted cheerfully, walking briskly towards my second job, hiding a laugh in the warmth of my scarf as two very offended motorcycle-loving gay fossils sped past me, making truly incredible amounts of noise. Good for them.

Odette was content to let me rummage around the bodega without showing herself more than necessary, taking her appointments and doing- well, witch stuff, I guess, only coming out to poke at the various jars for ingredients.

"Star, I have a proposition for you," right before closing time, Odette's voice filled out the store with its low drawl. "A good friend of mine owns an apartment building, not far from here actually, and one tenant recently moved out. It's a safe space for those who are different," she enunciated the last word, fixing it with a pointed stare. "She's not overly fond of total strangers coming to live there. The rent is reduced and the apartment itself is slightly bigger and more fashionable than yours..."

"Where's the catch?" I found myself interrupting her. I wouldn't lie: the reduced rent and increased size of the apartment did interest me, as well as the probability of a kinder, more involved landlord. My current one was - not the best, but such was life in the NYC.

"There are a few rules to follow, rules that might seem strange at first but they'll make sense in time. And your neighbors might be also a little... Unusual," Odette carefully studied my face for any signs of displeasure.

I sighed.

And then I sighed some more as I was signing my new lease in a few days' time, having spoken with Porter, my new landlord, and his boyfriend who had claws and fangs- after so much time spent around Odette's, I didn't even blink. The couple liked me enough to extend a secure but flexible offer and some furniture to choose from the attic where they kept the spares.

I quite liked the large, vintage couch I placed next to the wide bow windows in the living room. The floors were hardboard and well-kept, the walls a nice, homely shade of green and Porter didn't mind any new holes in them that might arise from hanging up decorations. I scheduled a thrift crawl at the next possible opportunity, happy with the "good employee" bonus Odette had given me after I sealed the deal.

My stuff was boxed up, a sleepless night and a call to a begrudging Jeremy to have a couple of days off to move; I was, thankfully, not late on my schedule and all that I had left was to rent a car to move the boxes of my things and the few pieces of furniture I had decided to keep - my haul in Porter's attic had been incredibly rewarding and my new apartment had all the basics to make it look like a warm, inviting bohemian home in a while.

My phone rang suddenly, startling interruption to the romcom I was watching as I ate my last lunch in my old apartment. "Hello?" I answered the number without looking.

"Hi, doll," Bucky's voice rang out cheerful. "A little witch told me you were moving. I thought you might need a hand?"

I blanked momentarily, the thought of enlisting two very busy super-soldiers to haul ten boxes and two endtables worth of stuff not having crossed my mind at all. "Is this the moment when you stop by my house just to unattach and put your prosthetic arm somewhere and leave?" I asked, hearing distinctive snickering - several more people were with him.

The cheer in his voice blossomed into a full belly laugh. "You're funny," he teased me. "And thanks for the idea. But no, I have a room full of men that have nothing better to do but get on my nerves. Might as well make 'em useful," his accented drawl thickened the more we spoke. Muted cheers rang out in the background.

"Uh, sure," who was I to look a gift horse in the mouth? I rattled off my address and warned them I didn't have a car, after which Bucky assured me it will be taken care of. The last remaining knick-knacks packed away, I went down to take out the trash, and returned to four people standing in front of my apartment building, all except one unrecognisable in their civilian clothes. "Hello," I waved at them, side-eyeing the tallest, grumpiest man of the bunch.

Stephen Strange was there, looking around curiously, hands in the pockets of his plain grey hoodie. I had already forgotten how normal he looked without his robes, and, frankly speaking, I preferred him like that. His title and the attire that came with it were quite intimidating.

"Hey there," a dark-skinned man who I recognised to be the Falcon, raised his hand. I had not met him yet. "I'm Sam, Sam Wilson. You must be the Star we're helping?" His quick once-over and the tilt to his lips; the ease with which he flirted had me brandishing smirks of my own. I led them all upstairs, Stephen's silence being just so loud. Sam, however, had no such reservations. "So, you're a witch, right?" Wow, subtlety was his middle name.

"Yes, I'll show you my broomstick," I deadpanned, wiggling my eyebrows at him with a grim look.

"Woah woah," Sam raised his hands as the three men behind us snickered loudly. "What happened to 'how are you? let's have dinner sometime'?"

I did my best imitation of an evil cackle as I let them through my front door. The four newcomers looked around my nearly empty apartment with muted interest before zeroing in on the pile of things in the corner: a few pieces of furniture and nearly taped boxes. Should be a walk in the park for four men.

A hand on my arm pulled me from the stupor of observing Sam, Bucky and Steve act like a well-oiled trio, bantering and teasing each other as they discussed how to best move the things.

"Look," Stephen Strange had all the appearance of a chastised puppy. "I wanted to apologize for my behaviour that day. I was out of line," the low notes in his voice made the appearance of the apology being somewhat reluctant. Tony probably put him to it after our little burger run.

Irregardless, I wasn't looking to make any enemies. "Me too, I was under stress - not that I'm using it as an excuse," to give where it's due, I nodded at the sorcerer, immediately awestruck by the easy, boyish smile that stretched on his lips.

"You are strong," he added. "If you would like to learn our ways, we would welcome you." There was a spark in his eyes, something belonging to man that respected and collected knowledge. My own respect for him grew immensely just from that one thing.

"I'll think about it," I offered amicably, however, I still leaned heavily towards a negative answer to that particular proposition. I liked my current way of life.

Strange's grin made a momentary second appearance, until Sam's voice rang loudly: "Fire in the hole, Wizard-man," causing the former to groan loudly and look at me.

"Think about your new place for a second," he spoke, briefly touching out fingertips. As soon as that was over, a golden circle with my new living room on the other side of it appeared quietly, Strange's hands immediately going back into his pockets after that. I sighed and pointed the men into it, stepping in a second after. The sorcerer wasn't far behind. "You could learn that, too, you know," he added wryly, having seen my look of mild envy directed at him.

"I think I'll be good with having the 'pissed off the sorcerer Supreme and lived' pass for now," I retorted with an eyeroll, turning around to stare him down.

He had the decency to look somewhat sheepish, at least. "I'm not like my predecessor," his words were chosen carefully. "And, to be honest, I have no clue as to why your... Boss is so hostile towards me- us," Strange looked around the room before unceremoniously beelining for the couch and plopping down on it.

"Not to be a gossip," I started, slightly intrigued. "But Odette and some lady she called ancient had mad beef," I slipped into casual language easily, trying to recall the details of Odette's, quite often jumbled, stories. "Sounded almost like territorial disputes," I shrugged. "And the apprentices Odette took on before me found themselves in all kinds of compromising situations," I chewed on my lip. "Like the Arctic."

Strange rubbed his face with a noisy groan, large hands doing nothing to mask the resignation and slight embarrassment.

I focused on the thin, red scars on his hands - they had to have been something serious, the way slight tremors betrayed the deteriorating state of the nerves in his fingers. I frowned, quickly averting my gaze before he could catch me ogling him. The fact thag Stephen kept his hands in his pockets or covered by gloves at all times didn't go over my head.

He muttered something to himself, something that sounded like he was often forced to clean up his predecessor's mess. "I see," was the only thing he'd offered me, looking slightly pitiful and apologetic.

"Well," I started, noting the last of my stuff was about to be in its rightful place, "as long as you don't toss me into the ocean, I think we can coexist peacefully."

"Tony would kill me if I'd tried," Stephen groused.

"Probably," I agreed. "Considering the fact he hit on me, for you, it would make one hell of a lover's quarrel," my hand pointed towards the kitchen as Steve and Sam carried in the boxes aptly labeled "kitchen", looking around a place to put them down.

"Tony did what now?" Stephen's tone dropped, a wry smirk decorating his lips as he eyed me through his lashes.

"Don't ask me," I raised my palms, feeling my eyes widen. "He's chaos personified and Satan only knows what he's got on his mind."

That squeezed a laugh out of the tall man, followed by a fond, sappy smile as he looked out of my large, panoramic window, probably thinking of Tony himself. There was no doubt, Stephen Strange was utterly and throughly head over heels in love with Tony Stark. Good for them, good for them.

"A-and that's it," Bucky walked in, wiping his hands on a kitchen towel I'd provided them earlier. "I took some liberties and assembled the furniture, Steve is stacking the dishes as we speak," the brunette noisily plopped down next to me, arm carelessly thrown behind me on the back of the couch.

"Oh, um," I stammered, unused to such random gestures of kindness. "Thanks a lot, you saved me a day's worth of time and a backache," I smiled, scooting over to make some room for Sam.

"No problem, not like we had anything better to do than argue which part of the Lord of the Rings is the best," Wilson rolled his eyes, elbowing Bucky none-too-gently.

Bucky elbowed back, thus starting a horsing war between the two, causing me to scoot closer to Stephen as I attempted to avoid any flailing limbs; the sorcerer and I shared an identical, perplexed sigh as to how two grown men could easily bait each other into such juvenile behaviour.

Whatever. It was kind of endearing.

Steve emerged from the kitchen dusty but smiling, having heard the commotion, and quickly herded his guys into a semblance of decent behaviour before all of three of them left, leaving me and Stephen to go back to my old apartment and give the keys to it to the guard. That was done, too, and a portal from an alley behind my old building straight into my living room had me and Strange awkwardly hovering, saying out goodbyes and waving to each other as the golden circle rapidly shrunk in size and disappeared, golden sparks scattering across my living room carpet for a short second before they fizzled out, too.

I used the brief moment of respite to find the small piece of paper containing the rules Porter had insisted I read and take seriously; figuring it might be a good idea to give them a read before beginning to unpack, I popped open a bottle of soda, holding the itemized list written in neat cursive to my face.

The further I read, the further my eyebrows rose:

"1. Keep your door locked at all times.

2. If a person knocks on your door claiming to be the mail man, do not open the door under any circumstances. You are free to ignore the knocking - it only lasts a minute or so. After the person has left, you may open the door and check for any packages.

3. If Samantha from 3B visits you and asks you to babysit, you may do so at your personal discretion. Her twins are a handful and their daily habits are not for the ones with a weak stomach, however, they mean nothin ill and will not harm you in any way.

4. Do not use the elevator between the hours of 1 and 4 AM.

5. There are no apartments under number "7". If someone claiming to be from those apartments knocks on your door and requests entry, come up with a polite excuse to decline and send me a text message. I will take care of it.

6. There is no garden on the premises of this building. If a man approaches you, claiming to be a gardener, don't interact with him and simply walk away. He will leave you alone.

7. You may meet a girl in a polka-dot dress playing in the hallways or in the stairwell. This is Lucy. Always be polite to Lucy - you won't like what will happen if you're rude to her. She does not talk but she knows limited ASL and may request to visit you. Allow her in ONLY if you have fresh meat in your fridge (beef or mutton, preferably bloody). You might want to avoid seeing her eat, however, it might be very beneficial to make friends with Lucy. She knows a lot of things.

8. If, when taking the stairs, you encounter inconsistent numeration of the floors, such as floor 2 followed by floor 5 and etc, simply walk a flight back. It will sort itself out. The building is old and sometimes it gets confused.

Important notice: these rules apply to your guests as well. Please make sure to introduce and educate them on these matters. We will help as much as we can should a situation arise but ultimately, there are fates far worse than an untimely, however swift, death.

- Porter and Lance."

A slow, creeping dread began to gnaw at my nape, curling on like a cold snake deep in chest. As if laughing at me, the warm, welcoming embrace of the green walls and the toothy, wide smiles my landlords had given me encouraged my recently found sense of adventure, all of it mixing into a cacophony of exhilaration and unease, equally steadily driving my running brain insane.

I sighed again, immediately going to the box containing my altar and the rest of the protective items. So much for peace.

Taglist: @couldntbedamned @mikariell95 @letsby @sleep-i-ness @toomanyrobins @mostly-marvel-musings @persephonehemingway @schemefrenzy @lillsxd @bluecrazedandbeautiful @slothspaghettiwrites @xoxabs88xox

[echo-three-one]

Chapter 39

The Road So Far

Is this still worth it?

The SEVEN Inch Wound

Gary 'Roach' Sanderson

Task Force 141 Base - Gym

Roach finally got his seal of approval. After weeks of physical therapy and daily check ups, he was now finally fit for battle and he was lucky enough that Nero was still under the radar. He wouldn't want to miss out on the battle he started. He was lucky enough that they were exonerated when Shepherd surrendered, because if they continued to be fugitives, Roach would not have access to appropriate medical attention.

It has been almost a month after the events in Afghanistan and Task Force 141 was already re-established, Samantha and Maxine were housed on a nearby compound where veteran's families lived under the safety of government protection. During his time in the infirmary, Maxine was always there to visit, telling him tales about dreams she recovered as time went by. Roach was glad she was returning to normal and that no matter how her memories came back, her treatment towards him was the same.

"Good to see you back on your feet, my man." Rocket went up to him and did their fist bump, a series of elaborate claps then finished off with finger guns accompanied by their almost realistic attempt at pistol fires.

"Haha. Yeah? I'm glad I'm back." He waved as Rocket pointed at his back. Roach turned to see Maxine, carrying a packed lunch, waiting at the end of the hallway.

"Hey you. Just in time for lunch as always." He smiled, wrapping an arm around her as they made their way to the mess hall.

"Glad to see you smiling and walking about." She says, as her palms ran across his firm chest, tracing the scar that changed his life.

"Yeah, finally passed the damn physical test." He grinned as they sat down at their usual table, the only table which consisted of two tables stuck together to form an eight seater.

The rest of Roach's closest comrades were already there. Alex, guessing what Samantha packed for him. Soap and France arguing which meal choice was best for them and Ghost, who was already halfway through his lunch while the rest of his comrades haven't even started yet.

"Good to have you back, buddy." Ghost greeted with a wide grin on his face, well technically only half of his face was shown.

"Hey man. I sure am glad. How have you been doing?" he joked. They constantly visit him in their free time, so there was actually nothing to catch up on.

"The rest of the squad proceeded to badger Roach with questions about everything they wanted to know. Roach enjoyed the hot seat as the military mess hall felt like the university cafeteria.

"So, any news about Nero?" He finally asked as soon as everyone was done with him. The table felt awfully quiet.

"None." France was the first to speak up. Everyone else nodded and frowned.

"Shit. Guess our only choice is to wait." He added.

"Shepherd didn't have any leads towards Nero. Their last contact was the exchange of blueprints and after that, he was gone." Soap explained the situation.

"The missing persons?" Gary asked.

"Still missing." Alex commented.

"And there are still a few additions every other day as indicated by the FBI and DHS." Ghost added.

"Is interpol still involved?" Roach turned to Ghost.

"They're still after the traces of EMP equipment from the missing persons. Their new lead is that Nero's team is trying out a lethal kind of grenade. One that explodes without damaging property. If he's planning invasion, this is actually a good idea without ruining too much of the invaded country." He replied. Roach nodded at the theory. EMPs only damage mechanical equipment and this was a good call for the bad side.

"I never knew they'd think of this kind of weaponry. I always expected bioweapons being the last of modern warfare." Ghost muttered.

"Well, that was what happened in Verdansk and we stopped it. We could do that again." Alex tried to boost morale.

"Yeah. We'll do whatever it takes." Roach agreed and they continued lunch.

By the time he started training, Roach focused back on his Sniper techniques. His wound may have affected his previous breathing training and it was only inevitable that he'd train it again. He wanted to master the long ranged rifle as it was vital towards his development as a soldier.

"Back on the scope huh." Ghost huffed as they reached their 200 yard mark, by the hill just outside the base.

"Glad you could help me on this one." Roach unzipped the sniper bag and began scouting the area.

"You sure this is your spot?" Ghost asked, using his hand as a visor against the hot afternoon sun.

"Yeah. This fits."

"Suit yourself." He chuckled as Roach snapped every attachment of the rifle, from the bipod stand to the clicker adjustments.

He peeked at the scope and looked at his target. Five small cans standing on top of a log 200 yards away.

"Remember what I told you." Ghost mused as he looked at Roach steadying his breathing.

"Damn." He added as he noticed the change in wind.

"Yeah, damn. I just was about to fire it." Roach muttered as he took another deep breath and began to hold still as his crosshairs adjusted to the shift.

A loud fire echoed across the hills as dust scattered on the ground where Roach fired. He was about a few inches off.

"Great. Do that again but change your adjustments." Ghost said as consolation.

"Yeah got it." He rolled his dial once again and accounted for the wind, easing his breath and fired again. The loud sound once again echoed through the hills, followed by a soft metal can flying away from the log.

"There you go! A clean hit." Ghost congratulated as he tapped Roach's back while he reloaded his sniper and aimed again.

Roach stayed at that spot until it was too dark to continue and Ghost accompanied him until such time. On their way back, Ghost opened up to something that has been bothering him ever since.

"Roach. Do you mind if I say something important?" He asked and it made Roach stop on his tracks.

"Yeah. What's up." Roach asked.

"I've already sent my formal letter, but I just wanted you to have a heads up on the matter." Formal letter. Roach's heart started to pound as his mind automatically thought of him quitting or leaving.

"Letter about?" he asked. His mouth almost felt dry. He didn't want him to leave. Not again.

"Transferring department. Alexandra offered me a spot on the Interpol. I told you this first because I knew that if you were on my shoes, you'd go too, right? Do whatever makes you happy?" he said, quoting Roach's famous words.

He isn't wrong about doing what makes him happy, but his decision didn't feel right either, or maybe because he just doesn't want Ghost to go.

"Well, you bet I'd go for that option too!" Roach said, trying to validate his decision despite not wanting it. It was sad to see him go, but for the first time in ages, Ghost actually acknowledged the term happy.

"I knew you'd understand." he smiled and continued their trail back to the base where Roach remained quiet until they reached the base just in time for dinner.

After dinner, Roach opted for a night jog around the base to clear his mind off of Ghost leaving. After the second lap, he soon noticed Alex catching up to him.

"Wonderful weather for an evening run, huh?" He asked all cheery as he's quite used to his heavier and more realistic leg.

"Yeah. It is. Good to see you're liking Samantha's surprise." Gary nodded and removed his earphones.

"You know, it's really a surprise when I'm the only one who doesn't know about it." He commented.

"It feels like a real leg, actually. The wonders of modern technology never ceases to amaze me." He mused as they both took the turn.

"Yeah? That's good to hear. Pretty sure Samantha loved the way you thanked her." Roach teased as Alex chuckled, like he recalled some memory.

"Oh yeah, she did." Alex nodded suggestively, the kind that Roach didn't want to ask anymore.

"This your last lap?" Roach asked as Alex slowed down for his cooldown, turning to the set of exercise bars.

"Yep. See ya!" He waved as he started his cooldown.

Gary took three more laps just to make sure he's exhausted for the night, so that once he got in his bed, no more thoughts would assault his mind, hindering him from sleep.

There was only one way out of it. And it was accepting Ghost's inevitable departure from the 141.

The next morning, the 141 was briefed on a possible lead on Nero. This time, Ghost wasn't in the room and that meant that his letter was now approved.

"Okay lads. We've received word on a supply drop activity from Nero. We intercepted an unencrypted call signal to an abandoned port just off the coast of Sierra Leone, Africa. If intel is correct, we're going to be dealing with someone who goes by 'Volt', Nero's bomb maker." Price paced in front of the huge screen showing details regarding their mission.

"Volt is a high value individual who must not be killed. He's our only hope towards Nero. The intercepted call came from the USA, and it's quite impossible that Nero is here, so he must've used a secure line. Jack will be staying in the base as our new Operations Command as suggested by Laswell. Overlord will continue his role as our commanding officer as well." Price added making clear about the jurisdiction.

"Damp and dry Africa." Soap muttered.

"Have you been there?" France asked.

"Only in Egypt. My mom used to tag me along her trips." he replied.

"Recon suggests a high chance of militia activity, so our standard rules of engagement; treat anyone as hostile. Volt's compound will be surrounded by his own personal army and they're willing to shoot any unwanted visitors. He also has access to a port, so I'm sending the Charlie team to stand by the shore and make sure they're not planning an escape." he added.

"I'm leading the Alpha team and our task is to infiltrate his base and secure Volt for intel. Bravo team, led by Alex, will act as our support when things go south. As bonus, we need to destroy any trace of bomb making equipment.

Roach, I want you to man our new air support tools from above as soon as we confirm that there are no SAMs on his base." He shot his glare on Roach and he nodded. Guess he isn't on the ground tomorrow.

"We leave tomorrow at 0300. Make your necessary preparations especially on our brand new comms equipment. Ones that are immune to EMP blasts. Dismissed." He said as everyone got up and went on their way. Gary purposefully left himself behind so he could ask Price about the Ghost situation.

"Hey there lad. You feeling good?" Price approached as soon as he noticed Roach.

"I just have a question about the mission."

"Sure. What about it? Any suggestions?"

"No no. The plan is fine. Where will Ghost be?" Price gave him a worried stare.

"Ah. Didn't he tell you about his transfer?" He crossed his arms and stared at Roach.

"He did… but why did you allow it?"

"Well, it certainly looked like he was happy to go there. And I had no power over his commendations." Price reasoned as they walked out of the briefing room.

"Oh. I thought he was going to have one last mission with us." Roach smiled as he walked back to the room. Ghost wasn't a fan of goodbyes. Maybe because he knew they'll meet again.

0300H

Sierra Leone, Africa

"This is Hunter One-One requesting sitrep, over." Roach phoned his allies who were already on the ground for support. This mission was their vital lead towards Nero. He wished that the guy Volt was here so that they could finally finish the war before everyone else gets hurt.

Before he could man the air support, he needed to confirm that there were no SAMs present on their base so he could safely provide suppressing fire from above.

Next Chapter : The SIXth Ship

Notification Squad my Beloved

@whimsywispsblog @ricinbach @bumblingbee1 @smokeywhalee @samatedeansbroccoli @enderio

[laynemorgan]

I'm sure you've already provided it, but I'd be curious to hear your road to becoming a staffed writer. What first got you interested in it? Does it go back to school days?

Man it goes back far. I mean, I guess in some ways it doesn't. Since you asked more about what got me interested in where it goes back to, I'll give you the lest technical and more biographicl explanatin. My first goal was just to become a writer. I've been writing since I was a really little kid. I actually recently found journals from like the elementary and middle school days just filled with them. And it was never small scale, I'd always be planning out the whole fucking setting, how all the characters were connected, full universes. I made a fake fantasy. land in my backyard because my parents live on a lot of land. I called it Teleterania. I remember very little about it besides that that was the name hahah but I did do it!!! Everything I read only made me want to write. Everything I watched made me want to write.

Sometime around late middle school and early high school, I started watching more TV. I found soap operas and was OBSESSSED with their flare for drama. I found BTVS, Charmed, Smallville, Veronica Mars, OTH, etc. And all of those shows really got me actually looking at TV in a way I had never before. I got obsessed with their worlds and into their fandoms. I became the liek TV guy in my high school. There was even a group of girls I never got to really hang out with that would always call me over to their table to ask about what I knew about OTH stuff hahaha and 17 year old me thought that was awesome. Before my sister passed away, she and I took a road trip down to North Carolina to tour the One Tree Hill set. OTH was like the one thing that she and I agreed on. And it was so awesome. For me it was a first look at what the industry actually looked like, to see the sets and what went into it and all of that.

But I don't think my eyes really opened to actually WORKING in tv until college. I went to school for English Lit and Creative Writing in New Hampshire. My school had a great writing program and I was right at home there. i still credit my first writing professor who was only a grad student for really teaching me what I know about writing and editing and reading my own work for error and she passed me on to her favorite professor which was a hugely flattering moment for me. AND THEN -- I fell in love with PLL. And for me, that was really where shit started. I didn't realize it at the time and it wasn't even the show that did it it was what the show showed me. Through my tumblr at the time which had very little to do with fandom, I actually wound up running into Patrick Adams and Troian Bellisario. We all were always sharing each other's posts and at the time I was working for a journalist covering random TV out of a shitty free magazine in Boston doing work for peanuts. But I was going out to LA to meet up with a friend and we all decided to meet for lunch and they let me interview them for my magazine and stayed really rad people. They also helped boost my PLL photo recaps which I was doing at the time and those got the attention of the Director, Normal Buckley who asked me out to coffee and talked to me about my goals and what I was doing. He was the person who first really helped me understand that there's an approachability to the TV world that to me had always been this like magical hollywood bubble I didn't understand.

I went home THRILLED about LA, dropped out of college and set out to go to film school. From there, I hated film school because it was too technical adjacent, dropped out again, spent all the money I had on that move twice, and went home to boston broke and lost. I spent two years after that maybe more saving money, working in fandom, and waitressing while I went back to college online. That era wasn't super writing focused but it's where I found myself. I realized I was queer, I came out, I got into tumblr rpg, I met my fandom friends, I found tumblr fandom in a way I hadn't before. And then a couple years later I found tl100.

From there, the rest is kind of wonky. I had a big fan blog for the show and talked a lot about it on my twitter which lead me to many interactions with the writers who then invited me to dinner at comic con one year. I had a long talk with Shumway abut my goals and what I wanted to do with my life. I knew I wanted to be in TV somehow. I knew I wanted to be in writing somehow but I couldn't figure out how those two things aligned. I was doing a lot of journalism and critic stuff because that felt like the clsoest way to be both a fan and workin in the world I loved but it was really Kim and Shawna that opened my eyes to the ability to just .... be a TV writer. Film school had made me terrified of the wrtiing side but I think it was because film school was so much more about writing for film which I learned isn't my thing. But TV is a writers' medium, unlike film which is more fo a directors medium and suddenly I was like -- MIND BLOWN. It was everything I wanted in a career and married all of the things I loved. It was something that had previously felt like unattainable but they made it seem human and approachable.

They helped me get my first WPA job, I saved up 3 grand working and with the help of some friends and moved to LA to start that. And suddenly I was in a whirlwind of catching up on everything I felt like I had missed. I was reading scripts, learning what the process looked like, doing everything I coudl to figure out what being a TV writer looked like. After that job, I got another WPA job at Millar Gough on Into the Badlands and later Shannara.

THEN I got hired on Daybreak which I can fully credit with being a huge stepping stone for me and changing my life in a lot of ways. Aron was the best showrunner. He was educational and he taught us shit, he let us in the room, he let us write stuff, he let us pitch and try and fall on our faces and never judged us for it. My second season there he moved me up to writers assitant and patiently walked me through all the stuff I didn't know yet because he had faith in me and my voice and my ideas. He let me writ e afreelance episode that year and pitch it in the room and do all the things that real w riters get to do.

So after Daybreak season 2 got cancelled I was pretty ready to spend my next year or two just writing, finding an agent and moving forawrd. And then I got an email to go and work for Moira Walley Beckett. She was looking for an assistant with serious room experience to help develop something in a small room and stay on with her later. I took the job becuase she's MOIRA and I was stoked to learn from her and work for a woman for once. I ernded up very fortunate becuase a month later we were all surprised by the covid mess and I was fully employed that whole year while many people weren't which was a huge help. Moira was a STELLAR boss. I had thought I was ready and what she taught me was that ther's always so much more to learn. She walked me through the process of applying notes and taking notes and changing draft after draft of your story. SHe walked me through breaking a whole season of television. We had a great partnership for the year and I'm so grateful. And then that project didn't end up seeing hte light of day and we our separate ways as well.

Cut to a few months ago, I was still at home in Boston, post-covid, having been sick for most of january. My friend Rachel dared me to write a spec in a weekend for the Warner Bros fellowship deadline. So I did. It was a Legacies Spec. Given that we didn't have access to the WGA library because of the pandemic, Legacies was an easy and obvious choice. I had already seen it inside and out and didn't need as much access to learning a show from scratch. So I wrote what I loved, wrote a season 2 legacies spec that embraced my favorite things about legacies: the high school soap of one tree hill, Lizzie doing wild dialogue, buffy-esque monsters, and themes of grief and humanity.

AND THE REST you know.

Here we are. I'm still lost as fuck. I'm still running full speed through a world I don't always feel like I"m ready for. I'm still a perfectionist and an obsessive overworker. I still take notes I don't need to take and do work at 10pm and come in early and stare at the story boards. There's a whole journey in all of this about representation and coming to find myself and queer media and wanting to make more of it but that's one I don't feel like I can fully get into until I'm decades out of it and the world is truly made better. But I'm here. And it feels like the end of a journey and liek I'm standing at the edge of a brand new clif because I've only just started.

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 7 "Beware of Young Girls" (Note: Offensive content, use at own discretion)

If we're ever gonna find out what happened to that baby, we have to figure out who that woman was.

That got way out of hand.

I think I figured out what my problem is. I'm way too nice.

This is what happens to sneaky backstabbers.

Just so you know, I took all your clothes.

It's too bad you had to die before we found out what ethnicity you are.

God, I loved porking you so much.

Dearly beloved, we're gathered here today because a backstabbing little bitch got exactly what was coming to her.

I have a colonic!

You were a stupid, little trollop, and I hope you're burning in hell right now.

There's nothing left to talk about.

Do you find it so shocking?

And you tried to frame me for murder!

I promise to never betray your trust again.

You most certainly won't betray my trust ever again, because you will never have my trust ever again!

It has two dancing demons, a dead old lady and cute little pentagrams.

I am going to prove that bitch wrong!

I told you to get rid of him!

I do not want to hear about how this is hard for you, okay?

Now, will you please go kill some people?

Okay, I'm not totally sure you understand how fashion works.

In, like, five years, my clothes are gonna be super hip again.

I like the borderline-creepy way he looks out for you.

He's kind of the perfect guy.

Well, thanks for being cool with me.

I haven't been inside here in a while.

He was in his mid-50s, so he could only get it up, like, once or twice a week.

Tell us something you learned this week about what it means to be a woman.

Everywhere I'd go, she'd just be there, dressed exactly like me.

Hey, did you spill ketchup in the shape of an arrow on the floor?

Are you having sex with a goat?

You looked me in the eye and promised me you would try to be monogamous!

I am breaking up with you.

You are gonna close that door, and you're gonna hear me out.

My whole life, I've lived with a secret shame. And that secret shame is that-- I'm lactose intolerant.

Lactose intolerance afflicts around 50% of the human population, who spend their entire lives walking past Baskin Robbins knowing that if they even have a little bit of ice cream, they're gonna fart a bunch. And if you weren't so ignorant, and you cracked a book every once in a while, you would know that goat's milk, it's lactose free.

I'm so sorry I doubted you.

Look, if it makes you feel any better we can totally bang if you want.

I mean, I knew I had had one hurricane too many, but let's be honest, one hurricane is one hurricane too many.

When my mouth has been where it's been on your body, I think we can safely say we are more than kind of friends.

Look, this is super awkward, but someone killed and dismembered your ex-husband last night, and they put his head in a fish tank.

Seriously, you're under arrest.

They don't care. They're nuts.

I was just doing a little sketching.

Designing formal wear is an old hobby of mine.

Look what I've been able to accomplish with a little free time.

No booze, obviously, but the meds are divine. The little blue ones make you feel like your organs are floating in a warm bath.

I don't trust a girl with a huge bush of pubic hair. Makes me think she has something to hide.

I specifically told you I cannot eat deli meats. The sulfites in them send me into anaphylactic shock. No salami and certainly no bologna!

I want you to know that I think you killed them all, and I hope you get the electric chair for it.

I've frickin' had it with you!

Technically, she just said that he was cheating, but she never said anything about a goat.

Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to a dead girl!

Why do you have nine tampons? How big is your cooch?

I really think we should stop, because this is really, really freaking me out.

No, hooker! We're not stopping.

Have fun in hell going to dinner with Osama bin Laden.

But, I mean, can we really trust a satanic talking board?

Talking boards tend not to hold up in court.

I say we poison her bras.

We have to be super sneaky about it, because if we're not, she'll smell a rat and kill us first.

What the hell is a sugar party?

We were just talking about throwing a sugar party.

I thought you were dead.

I am dead. I'm burning in hell.

I came back from the grave to apologize to you.

Yes, there are waterslides, but they're lined with razor blades and you splash down into a pool of boiling pee.

As soon as I got there, I was like, "Where are the dinosaurs?"

I guess I was just intimidated by your beauty and intelligence.

I was just jealous. I wanted what you had, and I really needed my tube packed.

I accept your apology. And I'm sorry you got murdered and are dead.

Well, looks like I'll have to kill them first.

Be the bigger person!

Now rise up and be the leader I know you can be.

Yeah, I just, I just get a little faint when I see blood.

A perfect DNA match. That is what the lab said.

It's pretty suspicious behavior.

Oh, Mommy's home.

She's what a psychiatrist friend of mine refers to as a "capicolaphilist" which is not, as I thought, someone who's turned on by the sight and feel of lunch meats but, more disgustingly, someone who's turned on by someone who pronounces bologna the way it's spelled;"bow-log-na."

You're plotting to murder me.

What I'm curious about is what, exactly, is taking so long?

Rat poison only works because rodents don't have a gag reflex. If you gave a human rat poison, they would immediately puke it all up. So not only would I have survived your attempt on my life, it would have also made me skinnier.

It was stupid to try to murder you.

I'm willing to let bygones be bygones and chalk this attempted murder up to youthful enthusiasm.

Here's to young girls getting what they had coming to them.

You know what they say-- "nothing tastes as good as revenge feels." Actually, they don't say it. I just sort of made that up.

I've got to stay focused.

Are you hungry, 'cause I'm hungry.

[e11evenkeys]

Pitch: The Adventures of Danger Rabbit- Chapter 2 Friendly Friendly (part 1)

Long story short, my dad wasn't arrested. Ms. Harper made her displeasure quite clear as far as my new form was concerned, but I wasn't taken away. Because of my mistake, dad had a reputation for being a careless father, and I was seen as a delinquent. Teachers started watching our family like we were career criminals, but dad raised me to be a good kid.

Regardless of the truth, I had a reputation that stuck with me as I grew up. Even into my junior year of high school, kids thought I was bad news. It didn't help that I had the worst luck imaginable, unlike Mr. Nickels, who I still had yet to find. Trouble seemed to seek me out. Just the simple act of walking home from school was dangerous enough to warrant fear of chaos. Freak accidents were a norm, and they only fueled the fire when it came to the negative light everyone shined on me. Of course, my dad always had the worst end of the fiascos because he had to deal with the aftermath.

If I had any luck at all, it was spent when I had the fortune of finding my two best friends.

B James was a girl who moved to town after my accident. Her parents were professional magicians, so naturally, I tried to get in good with them. I had hopes of them helping me. It turns out I didn't have to work too hard. BJ was fascinated with my form and impressed with my ability to create my own magic. I told her I didn't mean to transform myself, but I don't think she cared. She wanted to make new spells like her parents, and I suppose she thought I could help her. She overlooked how the rest of the school avoided me, but that might have been easy, considering no one flocked to her lunch table any more than my own. Remember when I said creating new magic was dangerous, well, BJ didn't care. We hadn't even graduated high school yet, but she'd created more spells than a person could count. It's important to keep in mind most of those spells had adverse effects or didn't do what they were meant to, but they did something.

My friend Wesson, a satyr I met in my freshman year of high school, didn't use magic at all. To be fair Fae, because of their natural abilities, didn't need magic as much as humans did. Even I had natural powers after my transformation like super hearing and invisibility. Which I'm sure is how Mr. Nickels managed to avoid capture for so long if he also possessed the same abilities. Wes being a satyr, was super fast and super strong, among other things, whether he appeared to be or not. We became friends after I tried to join the school's Creature club. There weren't many Fae that went to our school, so the club was meant to be a way of letting them all meet one another. Unfortunately, when I tried to join the club, someone pointed out I was born human, and that I was only what I was because I cursed myself. I couldn't join the club. Technically they weren't allowed to exclude anyone, but I thought it best to pick my battles wisely and let it go. Wes, being the best guy in the world, found me the next day and told me he thought the other kids were dicks for not letting me join the club. From that day on, I couldn't remember a time I couldn't fall back on the friendship Wes and I had.

It was two weeks till summer break. All of the ends of the year testing was out of the way, so everyone was waiting for the school year to come to an end. That Friday afternoon, I decided to walk BJ home. Despite my being close to Wes and BJ both, they never seemed to like one another. Every day I'd have to make a conscious decision whether to hang out with BJ, who loved playing magician and getting into trouble, or Wes, who was basically the brother I never had. BJ won that day because Wes had a meeting with the principal.

BJ should have taken the bus home, but I guess that would have been less time she got to work out new magic with me. We took a lot of back roads that day that eventually spit us out into the Dead Woods. It was the town's biggest forest, and it sat in the middle of everything. We learned in history class that old settlers named it the Dead Woods because back in the early days, when people were still coming up with most of the modern magic, they had to go far away from homes and buildings so bad magic wouldn't destroy anything. A lot of people died out there. Despite the bad history, it was a beautiful place as long as you knew where you were going.

"So there's this summer internship I read about," BJ said as we walked under branches while leaves crumbled under our footsteps.

"What kind of internship?" I asked.

We stopped walking so she could take her spell book out of her bag. The pages of her hand made spiral held weight and took time to flip through.

"For magicians. I thought you might want to go for it," she added.

"You want me to be a magician?"

"You created a working transmutation spell when you were 11."

I laughed at her, calling it a "working spell."

"Yea, and I've been trying to undo it ever since," I said with my amused tone still vocal.

"I could help you."

"I don't want to be a magician," I said in my most definitive voice possible.

"But I do."

I took a few steps away. I didn't want to stand too close while her book was out. Some of the stuff in that thing didn't need words to be activated. As she flipped through the pages, there was a danger similar to throwing a grenade into a kid's birthday party. Pages glowed and faded as her hands turned them over. I'm not sure how she managed to carry something around like that without constantly hurting herself.

"Then you should do it," I said as I crossed my arms and leaned against a tree.

She came near, and I knew to expect puppy dog eyes to fluff some kind of catch. That's what people do when they want something

"I need you."

I asked, "why," but she turned away.

"I need your spell," I thought she said, but I couldn't make out her words for sure, and with my big ears, that meant she was really quiet.

"What?" I asked.

"I need your spell."

I stood up straight.

"The spell that gave me fur and left with only eight fingers," I said before I continued with, " the spell that made my feet too big to wear shoes and ears big enough to hear my dad when he gets off at night."

"I have to submit a working spell to be considered."

"Then use one of yours," I said.

"None of mine work."

"What about the one you use to change your hair color?"

"It blinds anyone who sees me cast it."

"Then just use my spell, you don't need me for that, I wrote the words in some book, and I'll give it to you."

I wanted to get off the subject. Anyone who knew me knew how long I tried to find a cure for my curse. After years of turning over stones to no avail, of course, I gave up hope. That's not to say I didn't wish and dream for a way to change back, but being a bit of a pessimist meant I couldn't help but see the uneasy reality of how unlikely a cure was.

"It wouldn't be right to take credit for your work."

"But, it's alright to strong-arm your friend into an internship that'll take up our entire summer?" I didn't mean to sound nearly as argumentative or sarcastic as I must have at that moment, but it came out that way.

"There's a chance we won't even get it," she said, basically pleading with me at that point.

"If I say yes, will you leave me out of whatever experiments you're about to do?"

"But I had something special planned for today."

"That's my price."

"Deal, but you have to stick around to watch."

"In case something goes wrong?"

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to," I replied.

We exchanged a mutual grin before she adjusted her glasses and finally flipped around in her book to find the newly crafted spells. We spent most of the afternoon in the woods. BJ wrote a spell for growing plants faster, but it made anything made of wood burst into flames, including all the papers in my backpack. She tried to put out the fires with another spell meant to create rain clouds, but it summoned a swarm of butterflies that flew into the flames. Needless to say, they all died. They died quickly, but at least the fires went out.

By that time, it was getting dark.

"We should get moving," I said as I picked our bags off the ground burnt as they might have been.

"We will never speak of what happened here to anyone, right?"

"Like always," I said with a chuckle before handing BJ her ruined bag.

We started on our way out of the woods.

"Do your parents know you're applying for this internship?" I asked.

"Not yet."

"Don't you think they should know?"

"I'll tell them once I, " she started to say before I cut her off with, "did you hear that?"

"Hear what," she asked.

There was a sound coming from the bushes ahead of us. It was too big to be a cat, dog, or rabbit.

"Stand back," I said as I put my arm in front of BJ.

"Is someone there," I called out into the distance, but no reply was returned.

Only the rustling of the bushes broke the silence as something or someone came near. It was close. There was a momentary pause of nothing but the bugs around us falling silent, and then whatever it was lunged out at me.

It was Wes. He made me fall backward and rip the arm of my button-down shirt.

"Shit," I yelled out.

He tried to catch my arm on my way down, but he was too slow.

"Sorry, dude," Wes said with a laugh as he helped me to my feet.

"What are you doing out here?" BJ asked in a tone more annoyed than me, but I was the one with the ripped shirt.

"I need Pitch."

"Well, he's walking me home from school."

"Schools been out for 3 hours now, and you know how to get home."

"You want me to walk by myself," BJ asked.

"No one ever offers to walk me home, and we're the same age," Wes said sarcastically.

I cut in, "Wes, what did you need my help with?"

"I need your ears," he said.

"Let me get BJ home, and then I'll swing by your place."

Neither of them was even looking at me anymore; they were staring one another down.

"Alright, just make sure 'Bug Burner' isn't with you."

"You saw that!" BJ exclaimed.

"I'll be there, alone," I said as I held BJ back from Wes.

A few uneasy, and unwelcoming glances were exchanged before we took to our separate ways.

"I don't know why you hang out with him," BJ argued.

"Wes is cool," I said.

"Wes is just short of being a toddler. He doesn't use magic."

"I don't use magic."

"That's different; you can't afford it."

"That hurt," I said.

"You know what I mean."

[veshialles]

Don't know if I mentioned it before, but this weekend (24th-28th) is the Comic Expo, and I've been volunteering for the first time ever! It's gonna be a long post because I'm so twired right now after getting home and eating dinner and all that (tired+wired=twired)

So for the first day, yesterday was... not great? I was super nervous about my first day, and with all the personal stuff I have going on (Dad's cancer diagnosis, my own worsening mental health, et cetera), I ended up having two panic attacks. First thing, they needed us to mark up some lines on the floor with tape. And I thought "Hey yeah! I can definitely do that!" you know, as if I were an able-bodied 20 year old man, instead of a dyspraxic mess with back and knee problems. So I quickly got frustrated and flustered when my tape lines were inevitably not straight or when the tape would get twisted around or un-stick itself from the floor. Which turned into my anxiety response of "everyone is watching you fail at a simple task", which when combined with the other stressful shit, made a nice little segue leading to Panic Attack #1.

Later in the day, they needed some "extra hands" for an event at the opposite end of the building. It was a concert, with Lynda Carter singing. Now, this concert basically had fuck-all to do with the actual Expo, which technically hadn't really started up yet, and it really should not have been our responsibility in my opinion. But, Lynda was the original Wonder Woman, and also does some voice acting (Fallout 4, and some Elder Scrolls?), so I guess they just sort of... tacked it onto the schedule?? So, we all haul ass to get to that side of the complex and then wait to be told what to do. And then we get split up into groups, separating me from the people who thought were gonna be my "team" for the day. And then we waited, again, after being given vague instructions on what to do when the audience arrives, which basically boiled down to "just go to this line" and by this point I am slightly tired from the long day and the esrlier panic attack, so I can't really do anything to help properly. I'd been standing all day, and even with the comfiest shoes I own plus good insoles, wow it was painful.

So finally, I'm almost in tears when the audience starts heading in. I'm in pain, I don't really have a good idea of what's going on, my expectations have been thrown out the window, I'm feeling unhelpful/not really needed so cue the Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria. Panic Attack 2: Electric Boogaloo. Plus anger!

So I marched back down to the area I was actually assigned to, hoping to find one of the team leaders or something. I found someone, they took me aside to let me cool off, and then I told one of them what was going on, and after talking to one of them, they told me that I could go home if I needed to because it wasn't a very busy day and they had everything covered. Which was actually really reassuring to hear after such a shitty day. I might have cried??

BUT TODAY WAS INFINITELY BETTER!! I got there wayyy too early again, but on the plus side I got to make a good second first impression with the other people who were also a little bit too early. They put me on a cash register for my morning/post-noon shift, and it was a little bit stressful because I am not great with numbers due to my disability (a very rude lady pointed it out but I refuse to let her ruin my good day dammit!) and only like 5 credit cards actually worked with the swiping machine, and I'm pretty sure that I kept doing the steps in the wrong order, but overall it wasn't too bad actually. At least I got a chair and had some company with that, so I could ask for a hand if needed lol

Then, after a lunch break, I got put in the printers booth (again, with help thankfully!). Which was exhausting, made me feel just slightly jealous about not having the time or money to get some Photo Ops taken this year, and also kind of stressful but in a good way? Like idk, I kind of got some second-hand joy at watching the people's faces light up when they received their photos, especially the little kids who got super excited about it! So it was worth running back and forth between anywhere from 5-15 printers, depending on how many of the photo booths were running, for that reason!

Oh also, I might have made some friends??? I'm still not 100% sure about what some of their names are yet though, but everyone I've met and worked with so far is actually super friendly and supportive, especially the people who have been volunteering at these types of events for several years. The other volunteers are all nerds, a lot of them are LGBTQ+, probably just as many are just a little awkward and nervous, so like? We're pretty much all just a bunch of Anxious Gay Nerds™ who like being helpful, so we've got each other's backs on-duty, and there's plenty of stuff to talk about when we're off-duty. It's great!! I am living for it honestly 😄

Gods, I'm so sore and tired right now but I just needed to ramble about it before I fall into a brief coma here. I'm excited for tomorrow, even though the Saturday is always the most busy day of the convention! But like, idk I'm really fired up about it! I'm definitely going to volunteer next year if I can!!!

So yeah, great day 😊