#i also need to figure out the new beta editor before it becomes the main schtick | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

writingquestionsanswered · 5 years

Note

I am ready to share my WIP with people (yay) but I have so many questions. I remember when writing my Bachelor's thesis I could send it off to different people and they would each proofread different aspects (spelling, formal stuff, comprehension etc.) would that be a good tactic for fiction too? At what point should I consider hiring an editor when traditional publishing is my goal? Is it necessary to put something like a none disclosure agreement in front of everything I share? (1/2)

or does that make me look paranoid? And what is a good tool for sharing your work? I figured something like google docs would work well bc it makes sharing things via link easy but then again is it good when everybody can read all the critiques other people have? I also figured I would share one maybe two chapters at a time and add some questions at the end of each section for people to answer. I really don’t know what the protocol is here, would be grateful for some of your awesome advice

Guide: The Feedback Process

First, congratulations on getting to this point!

1) “When writing my Bachelor’s thesis I could send it off to different people and they would each proofread different aspects (spelling, formal stuff, comprehension etc.) would that be a good tactic for fiction too?”

Sort of… Everyone has a slightly different process, but here are the typical steps:

Alpha Readers

Many writers share their manuscript with a friend, family member, or writer friend after the first or second draft is complete. This person is known as an “alpha reader” because they’re the first eyes (besides your own) on your completed story. The alpha reader’s role is to give you first impressions of the story from the reader perspective. Since this is an early and often unedited draft, they don’t need to worry about issues like typos, grammar, punctuation, etc. If the story or something about it doesn’t quite work, it’s their job to let you know.

Critique Partner

Lots of writers choose to work with a critique partner, and sometimes more than one. Critique partners can be project specific, but usually they become part of a lasting partnership and your writing BFF. Your critique partner may even fulfill the role of alpha reader if you don’t have anyone else to do it. Their job is to give you thorough feedback on everything from conceptual and structural problems to plot holes and grammatical errors. Then you do the same for their manuscript when they’re ready, which is what makes it a partnership. Critique partners can be notoriously hard to find so don’t sweat it if you can’t find one.If you want to try, here are some places to look: online forums, critique partner match-ups (Maggie Stiefvater has one, and I tried to get one off the ground), writing groups, writing workshops, writing conferences, and social media. Again, don’t worry if you can’t find one. Lots of writers work without one.

Beta Readers

Beta readers are probably the most common method used for feedback prior to querying or self-publishing, and many writers do two or even three phases of beta reading. If you don’t have an alpha reader and/or critique partner, you can use beta readers to fulfill the same function. Otherwise, you may choose to only do a single beta read. Whatever works is fine. Beta readers are typically found among your bookish and writer friends. It’s pretty essential that they’re either avid readers, writers, or both. The depth of feedback you ask them to provide is up to you, but once again this is more of an overall feedback and not really the place for editing-related feedback. Some writers will provide their beta readers with short questionnaires to fill out afterward targeting some of the writer’s specific concerns, like “Did you connect with the main character?”

Side note: Wherever you go to find readers, it’s a good idea to try to establish a bit of a friendship with them before sending them your whole manuscript. If you meet them in person at a writing workshop or conference, talk to them in e-mail or on social media for a little bit before making the exchange. If you meet them in a forum or on social media, spend a little while interacting with them and getting to know them. Do the best you can to vet them based on the relationships they seem to have with other writers, how together they seem to be, who they know and what they do, etc. If you can find someone that other people seem to trust, you can feel confident that you can trust them, too.

2) “At what point should I consider hiring an editor when traditional publishing is my goal?”

Here’s the thing about professional editors: they cost a small fortune. Depending on the length of your story, you will need to be prepared to pay anywhere from $1,000 to $3,000, give or take.

If you are pursuing traditional publishing, don’t even worry about it. Just polish your manuscript to the best of your ability and you’re fine. Agents and publishers don’t expect your manuscript to be professionally edited. If you go through an agent (as most writers do since few publishers accept unsolicited manuscripts), they will help make sure your manuscript is extra polished, and if they sell it to a publisher, the publisher’s in-house editor will edit your manuscript anyway. Publishers pay such small advances these days, especially to debut authors, it would be silly for you to be out of pocket for a professional editor. If your story is amazing and your writing is strong, an agent will be interested even if there are a few typos or other issues. As long as it’s clear you made the effort to polish it as much as possible, that’s what matters.

If you are self-publishing, it gets a little bit trickier. I used to advocate always using a professional editor when self-publishing, but the reality is many indie authors can simply not afford to spend that kind of money on their book without going into debt. The reality is that you’re extremely unlikely to make that money back anytime soon, so if you can afford to make that kind of investment without any hope of a near-future return, then go for it. But if that kind of investment would be a hardship, don’t even bother with it. There are plenty of alternatives, including just making sure you have a crackerjack team of smart people who are willing to help get your manuscript as polished as possible.

3) “Is it necessary to put something like a non-disclosure agreement in front of everything I share? Or does that make me look paranoid?”

Non-Disclosure agreements are not the norm. If you’re working with alpha readers, beta readers, and critique partners, you simply ask them not to share your manuscript or any story details. And, again, if you’re dealing with a stranger, it’s a good idea to get to know them a little bit and do a little surreptitious vetting before you enter into any sort of exchange. If you’re working with a professional editor, it’s their job to read unpublished manuscripts, so they know better than to share your work or details about it.

Theft is extremely rare, but when it does happen it’s usually in situations where there was little to no vetting or establishment of a writerly friendship first. If you take the time to get to know someone a little bit first, you should have a pretty good idea of whether or not they’re someone you can trust.

4) “I figured something like google docs would work well bc it makes sharing things via link easy but then again is it good when everybody can read all the critiques other people have?”

Different people use different methods, but the most common seems to be Microsoft Word with its review feature. This allows the reader to make comments within the document without being able to change it and without others being able to see it. That’s the method I have used both as an author and a beta reader, as well as with my critique partners. Although, sometimes my CPs and I are lazy and we just use e-mail. I’ve never used Google Docs but I would definitely caution against allowing everyone to see each other’s feedback. When alpha readers, beta readers, and critique partners give you feedback, it’s for your eyes only unless you ask their permission to share it. So at the very least, you would need to warn everyone that their feedback will be viewable by everyone else, and that may not fly with some readers. Also, I would be worried about one person’s feedback influencing another person’s feedback. It just doesn’t seem like a good idea to me. If there’s a way you could do a separate Google Doc for each reader that only they have access to, that might be an alternative. Other programs I’ve heard of people using: Adobe Reader, iAnnotate, and WPS Writer. (Side Note: if you create a document that you e-mail to each reader, create a separate doc for each reader with their name in it. This way you don’t accidentally merge documents when you get them back.)

5) “I also figured I would share one maybe two chapters at a time and add some questions at the end of each section for people to answer.”

This is not the way it is typically done and I would caution against this method for a variety of reasons. Usually you would send the completed manuscript to your readers along with a target date for feedback to be returned. This allows readers to go at their own pace, which is preferable since some may choose to read the whole thing in one weekend while others may choose to do a chapter every couple days or so. Ultimately, it’s your job to make this process as easy on your readers as possible, which means giving them the ability to set their own pace. If you send it in chunks, you take away that ability and put added pressure on them. Plus, it creates a lot of extra communication and back and forth, which is not desirable.

6) Standard Protocol for Beta Readers

With alpha readers and established critique partners, the process tends to be a bit more personal since you probably know the person already. With new critique partners, you can establish whatever method works best for the two of you. But with beta readers, there’s a pretty standard process…

After you’ve gathered your beta reader team and have been given their e-mail addresses, you’ll compose an e-mail that can be sent separately to each one. This e-mail will thank them for volunteering as a beta, will outline what you are and aren’t looking for in beta feedback, and establish a deadline (preferably four to six weeks out.) Although Word Documents seem to be the most common, most writers offer alternatives for how feedback might be given. For example, you might say something like, “You’re welcome to leave feedback within each chapter, as you go, at the end of each chapter, or at the end of the manuscript.” You may also consider including a short questionnaire (ideally no more than 5-10 questions) that the beta reader can fill out at the end, in addition to whatever other feedback they provide. Give them any necessary instructions for that and let them know they can contact you at any point if they have any questions. Also, it’s a good idea to clarify your expectations should the person decide not to complete the beta read for whatever reason. Most writers will say something like, “If something comes up and you’re unable to complete this beta read, please be sure to let me know as soon as possible so I can find someone to take your place.” This way it’s clear it’s not a big deal if they can’t finish, and they know you won’t hold it against them. Finally, be sure to thank them again for participating.

The feedback will usually trickle in throughout the specified period. When someone sends you their feedback, simply reply with a big thanks and leave it at that. If you have a comprehension issue on some of their feedback and it seems like something critical, it’s generally okay to e-mail them and ask them for clarification, but this is something you should only do when absolutely necessary. Normally, you will not discuss a beta reader’s feedback with them. That feedback isn’t there for you to quibble with or otherwise defend against, and doing so will only ensure that this particular beta reader won’t want to work with you again in the future. You may get feedback that you disagree with, that’s difficult to hear, or is downright hurtful, but it’s up to you to figure out how to apply the feedback if at all. Remember: readers have all kinds of different opinions, and where one reader might say, “I didn’t find this character very believable,” other characters (LOL! *readers*) may not feel the same way. If two or more people express the same opinion, it’s worth considering more deeply. If more than two do, it’s definitely something you’ll need to take a look at.

I hope that demystifies the whole process for you a bit!

————————————————————————————————-Have a question? My inbox is always open, but make sure to check through my FAQ and post master lists first to see if I’ve already answered a similar question. :)

#writing tips #writing advice #wqaadvice

179 notes · View notes

runicmagitek · 7 years

Note

Hello there! Thank you for taking the time to read this. I've long been an admirer of your work. I was wondering if you had any advice on writing? Especially for someone just new to writing? Or, like, in regards to outlining stories?

Why can’t I give hugs through the internet why. Thank you so much for such sweet words and I apologize for the wait. I spent the past couple of days concocting some writing advice for you and it turned into a thing. Hope it’s worth the wait!

I want to preface this: below is my writing process. It works for me. It may not work for all writers and I highly encourage others to figure out what does work for them. It took me several years to come to this conclusion, so don’t be discouraged if everything doesn’t click for you. Writing takes time to develop and we all learn and create differently. Try things out and see if it’s beneficial.

Also, while I know you asked specifically for writing and outlining tips for beginners, I am including editing tips. A lot of people might view writing and editing in a different light, but I believe that they go hand-in-hand; getting used to editing will help you become a better writer and vice versa. I know countless people who bang out stories and then let the drafts collect dust, because editing is daunting.

Lastly, a massive shout-out to my partner-in-crime, beta reader, and braintwin—Amie @wingsyouburn . She helped contribute to and refine this and is also a brilliant writer and has helped me become the writer I am today. Endless thanks to you, bb!

On that note, let’s jump right into this.

OUTLINING

I can’t write without some vague idea of where I’m going. It’s like having a map with you on a road trip; you might deviate from your route along the way due to pit stops or traffic or simply wanting to go the scenic route, but you at least know where your end goal is. And it can vary depending on what you’re writing. If I have a oneshot idea, maybe I jot down a sentence or two about the plot, usually with a “problem” and then a “conclusion”. For example: Character A is doubting herself and decides to vent to Character B, who offers comfort and kisses. Sometimes I jot these down if I have an idea hits me at work or in line at a café. You can always refer back to it later on. Filling in the blanks of said outline is where the fun of writing comes in!

Even for my drabbles, I will write very brief sentences of what I imagine would happen. It helps me stay concise and stick to that main point instead of meandering.

For longer pieces, I try to write out each scene I want to include. Some people I know do this by writing on notecards. I used to make a bullet list, but now I use Scrivener to map outlines. With a bullet list, you can do it like this:

Scene 1

Scene 2

Scene 3

Scene 4

It doesn’t need to be extremely thorough. Just get those ideas out of your head and onto paper. You can always go back and switch up the order later and if you don’t entirely know what would happen in a scene, but for example, you know the end result? You can easily write something like, “a bunch of shit hits the fan and then the gang run off into the sunset.” Maybe when you start writing, you’ll have a better idea of what shit hitting the fan includes. And when you do figure it out, go back to your outline and make a bullet under that particular scene with the details. I’ve done this plenty of times. Hell, I have an outline for a 200k story I did where the last 1/3 of the outline just never happened in my draft. A better idea came along and I went with that. And that’s ok!

Your outline is there to help you and not hurt you. It’s flexible and bare minimum, when you’re done with a story, you can look back on it and see how much you’ve evolved since your initial idea.

WRITING

Consume art. Read. Read some more. Keep reading. Watch a movie. Go to a museum. Take a walk at the park. Listen to music. So many things inspire people and the tiniest instances can spark an idea for a story. Always be open to them. Figure out what you love and what you don’t. Consume both of those. Inspiration can come even from genres we don’t particularly like. Don’t be afraid of something new. When I was in art school, we were required to take non-major studio classes. I ended up in a weaving class, filled with other textile students when all I ever knew was graphic design. I learned a tremendous amount in that semester to carry over into my graphic design work and I’m sure my peers learned a lot from me, too. That concept carries over into so many creative fields. Embrace that.

Also, if you’re the type that benefits from reading books about writing, here are some A+ resources:

On Writing by Stephen King

Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott

Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg

No Plot? No Problem! by Chris Baty

The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron

Zen in the Art of Writing by Ray Bradbury

Take care of yourself first. This tip simultaneously has nothing and everything to do with writing. For me, I have a handful of health issues. I work a full-time job. I have a ton of other hobbies that eat up my time. Before I write, I need to make sure I’m doing well before I even bother to sit in front of my laptop. I can’t be overly stressed out or in pain or distracted. Sometimes you need to calm down and relax and not write. I can’t focus otherwise and the few times I did write when I clearly shouldn’t have? It was evident in my writing and thus triple the amount of editing work. I know it’s stressful not being able to write. Trust me… I’ve been there numerous times. But I believe that in the long run, you’ll be happier with yourself and your writing if you learn to treat yourself with respect and not beat yourself up when you’re unable to write every waking minute.

Set times to write and then do it. Some people might have inspiration strike them and that’s the only time they write. Yes, that can be helpful, but there’s also something to be said about developing a schedule and sticking to it, even if you’re not motivated. So you’ve done everything mentioned above: your tummy’s full, no one is around to bother you, you got a delicious cup of something beside you, it’s your favorite weather outside, and you’re in your favorite chair. But you’re staring at your monitor and just… uuuuuugh you don’t feel motivated. You know what? Fuck it. Just write. Write something. Anything. 75% of my writing was done out of the sheer willpower. Write! Even if it’s a page, so what?! That’s a page more than what you initially started out with! Squeezing in some scribbles on your lunch break every day can add up by the end of the week. Those 30 minute sessions are suddenly 2 ½ hours!

Again during my art school days, I would be up until 4am trying to do 40 posters in time for the morning’s critique and I’d be on those last 3 poster designs and I was tired with no inspiration and ran out of fucks at 11pm, but I pushed through. You know what? My teachers and peers alike loved those 3 designs I did at fuck-this-shit o’clock. I’m serious. Every single time.

Start writing and never look back. This is your time to write. Not to edit, not to try and craft the perfect sentence Of All Time. You’re writing. You are word vomiting whatever nonsense is in your head. It’s a first draft. It’s going to be messy. It’s probably going to be shit. Who the hell cares? That doesn’t mean you or your writing is shit. Everybody, even the most seasoned writer, doesn’t write a perfect first draft and you can’t fix what isn’t written. So write, write, write! Smack your inner editor each time it tells you to go back and edit a paragraph. Disable your wifi if you think you’ll get distracted. For me, I put on some quiet, ambient music to drown out the world and go into Scrivener’s full-screen mode. I highly recommend checking libraries in your area if you want some quiet time. The librarians are also way more than happy to show you where designated quiet/study areas are if you’re not sure.

Write what YOU want to write about. Don’t write something just because it’s popular and that’s what everyone else is doing. Do it for yourself first and foremost. It doesn’t need to be for everyone, but let it be for you. It will show tremendously in your writing if you’re excited about a thing. Likewise, it’s beyond evident if you’re bored with a scene in your story. Write about what excites you and I promise your writing will display that excitement. On the same note, if you’re stuck on a scene and just don’t know what to do with it, move along. Maybe that scene isn’t needed. Skip to the next, more interesting thing. Write the story you want to read.

Incorporate your experiences. The expression “write what you know” gets tossed around with the assumption that people will go, “Ooooooh, yeah that makes sense.” Think on all your life experiences and draw upon them. You may not be the commanding officer of a prestigious military, but maybe you’ve been in a group project in school where someone needed to step up as leader in order to get shit done in time for the oral presentation. Remember your emotions during times of struggle, elation, anger, and sadness. Channel it into your writing.

Write in chronological order. Some people have mastered the art of writing that one middle scene they’re super stoked about or writing random scenes out of time and then stitching it together later. I am not one of those people. For a beginner, it might be less daunting to write everything in chronological order. That way you can build up things like character development/growth and tension and so forth in a natural way via passing time. If you start writing a scene where the main pairing finally kiss, but don’t write the ten chapters leading up to that, it’s a lot more difficult to flesh out all that tension in one scene when you hadn’t written it yet. I’m also of the opinion that it’s better to write all the things before that One Scene you’re giddy about; it can speed up the writing process because you want to arrive at that One Scene, so hey, anything to motivate you, ya know?

EDITING

After I wrote my first novel draft after years of not writing, I had this massive feeling of, “…shit, now what?” For every single guide to editing, there’s a hundred more for writing. Editing is an extremely personal process. It took me over two years before I became comfortable with editing my own work. Let’s be honest – it’s terrifying. And I wish there was a more concise guide about it when I first started, so hopefully this helps.

I edit in rounds. My first round involves just reading, no editing. I keep a journal to take notes, mostly plot, characterization, redundancies, and cuts/additions I’d want to make. My second round combs through it to fix those bigger problems along with any glaring grammar/spelling errors and mild line edits. I will send it to a beta to read after that for additional commentary/suggestions. My third round addresses all of that on top of hardcore line edits—I want every damn sentence to be the best version of that sentence ever. One more time it goes back to the beta to nitpick the hell out of it. And my last round is spent reading what I wrote out loud. If my tongue trips over anything, I change it. Apply some spit and polish, give it some lunch and a backpack, and then off to AO3 it goes to make some new friends.

Maybe you edit in less or more rounds. Maybe you have more rounds of sending content to beta readers. Maybe you need to rewrite the whole thing three times before it ever sees a beta reader. Do what feels good to you. Only you will be able to figure it out and you won’t know until you try. I promise once you get your feet wet and test it out, you’ll feel more confident about your writing over time.

Here are some more specific tips that no one ever bothered to tell me until after the fact. These might be overwhelming for a beginner, so don’t feel the need to master these immediately. Take it one step at a time and try them when you are comfortable doing so.

Walk away from it. After finishing a first draft, let it sit. Go do something else and forget about your draft. For oneshots, I’ll go back to it after a week. For longer pieces, anywhere between 2-4 weeks. Returning to a draft with rested eyes and a fresh mind will only benefit you in the editing process. You’re still two inches away from your work when you finish the first draft. Walk away from it, come back, and then you can see more, whether it be the strong points or the holes.

Describe what is happening, not how something looks/sounds/feels. I’m sure you’ve heard of “show, don’t tell.” First off, fuck that noise when writing the first draft. Tell to your heart’s content if it means getting it on the damn page. Second off, sometimes telling can be helpful. That’s up to you to decide if it’s beneficial or harmful to your story. I typically go about “show, don’t tell” in the editing phase. Now most people will give this advice and not further explain. So here’s an example:

She was mad at him for once again not doing the dishes.

That’s not a terrible sentence. Though it to make it pack more oomph, take a step back and think. When you’re mad, what do you do? Are you clenching your jaw? Are you grumbling to yourself? Is a headache forming? And when you imagine dishes not done, what does that look like to you? Is it flies swarming around a sink? Is it overflowing from the sink? Is the sponge sitting in five day old water and reeking of mold? Is there a broken dish on the floor because a cat decided to knock it off from the stack of twenty uncleaned dishes? With that in mind, the sentence can possibly be rewritten like this:

Countless plates and silverware wobbled on one another, each encrusted with a previous night’s dinner. She drew a breath, balled up her fists, and glared at him. “Really? I gave you one job.”

Find your descriptions that are comprised of the character feeling or seeing or hearing something and reword them. Breathe life into your words. Make them paintings. I know, it’s not easy. It might even break your brain a little (mine did when I first gave this a serious go), but it will make you think differently and your writing can only grow from that.

Rephrase weaker words. I once had this assignment back in high school where we were given a hundred sentences, each one with “get” in the mix, and we had to rewrite all of them with a unique word replacing “get”. Find words like “get” and forms of “to be” and replace them with stronger words. Something like he got out of bed can turn into he rose out of bed or he jumped out of bed or he slumped out of bed. It rids the sentence of something weak and is more descriptive of what’s going on.

Another thing to look out for are verbs ending in “-ing”. She started walking over or she was walking on over aren’t as direct as she walked over. Trimming out instances like this help make the action more immediate instead of feeling like it’s going or starting or beginning to happen. Just let it happen!

Adverbs are another instance that people will suggest to cut out. They’re at least easy to find (most end in –ly) and when you do spot them, ask yourself this: is there a better word to sum up what I’m trying to express? Something like she said quietly can be she whispered or she murmured or she mumbled. Or something like they ran quickly can be they rushed or they sprinted or they booked it. These all can help get a better idea of what is going on. Plus it can help strengthen your vocabulary by searching for more ideal words!

If your vocab is shaky or you just can’t pinpoint something better, here’s a resource I use all the time. Just remember: always double check the definition of the word to make sure it fits instead of spinning the thesaurus wheel and picking at random.

Lastly, don’t feel the need to go on a witch hunt to purge your story of all of these things. Sometimes it’s best to keep that use of “to be” or that adverb, because there isn’t something better to convey what you’re describing or it distorts the flow of the narrative. And that’s completely okay. It takes time to figure this out.

Cut out redundancies. I tend to overwrite in my first drafts. Editing is where I bust out my figurative chainsaw and kill the extra nonsense. Is there a phrase you keep using over and over? Kill it. Is there a section you read that just bores you to tears? Kill it. Is there a sentence that is proceeded by a paragraph that rephrases that exact sentiment four times? Kill it. Is the process of something we as human beings understand, like opening a door, a three-sentence-long affair? Kill it.

I love poetics in stories and sometimes it can get out of hand. The more concise you are in your delivery, the clearer of a picture you will paint for the readers and the smoother the overall pacing will be.

Never delete. So with all of that in mind, please, for the love of tea and chocolate, never ever delete your work. Doesn’t matter if it’s a conversion from a first to second draft or if you end up hating it, don’t delete it. You never know if you’ll return to it five years down the road or you need to refer back to something from your initial draft when you’re on your third wave of revisions. I keep a folder dedicated to all of my writing on my laptop, which is also backed up to Dropbox. In Scrivener, you can take snapshots of your work for each new draft you start and can always revert back to older snapshots. There’s also an actual editing mode in it, but I believe it’s exclusive to Mac OS. Or if you’re using something simple like Word or Google Docs, make new documents and title them based off of your drafts. Another thing to consider is making a document strictly for lines you love but weren’t able to include in the final version. Don’t get rid of them – keep them. Maybe you revisit it and find a new story for it to fit in or perhaps that lovely line of yours sparks a new story to write. You won’t know if you delete your work.

CLOSING THOUGHTS

Make writer friends. Writing is a solitary activity (well, not unless a pet decides to keep you company, but anyways). Having friends who are also writers or even enthusiastic about writing are a blessing. Bounce ideas off of them or vent to them when you hit a brick wall. Maybe said friends will turn into beta readers when you wish to cross that road. My recent writer friends are people I chatted with on comments with fics, either my own works or their stories. You don’t need to be friends with an entire fandom; find those you resonate with. I’m sure they’ll love gushing about things as much as you do.

And if you ever converse with someone who acts above you and everyone else in regards to writing? Fuck ‘em. They are not and never will be worth your time or anyone else’s.

Keep writing. Like any form of art, writing’s a craft and it will only improve the more you devote time to it. There’s always room for growth. Be humble. Accept change. Allow yourself to learn. I guarantee you that your writing will change for the better in the span of a year if you keep at it. Don’t worry about it being perfect or if it’s telling the “same story” someone else has written—you haven’t written your version of it. You haven’t added your personal touches and experiences and insights to it. Think of how many times Romeo and Juliet has been done in storytelling. People eat it up. To use the cake analogy, you might feel like you’re bringing another cake to the party when there’s already one, but others look at it and go, “FUCK YEAH TWO CAKES!” Lastly, I’ll leave you with a quote from the eternally badass Carrie Fisher, “Stay afraid, but do it anyway. What’s important is the action. You don’t have to wait to be confident. Just do it and eventually the confidence will follow.”

You got this, anon. I believe in you.

#writing tips #writing advice #writing resources #writing help #writers on tumblr #YOU CAN DO IT ANON #I BELIEVE IN YOU #*FOREVER FLAILING POMPOMS*#long post #Anonymous #my writing

44 notes · View notes

emmaswanchoosesyou · 7 years

Text

CSBB: Part of the Narrative (11/17)

Emma Swan just wants to write the follow-up to her bestselling debut novel, that’s all. But when she gets off to a rough start with her new editor, Killian Jones, she knows it’s not going according to plan. Then, an unexpected figure from Emma’s past reappears and life begins to mirror the crime thriller she’s penning. Suspicion and secrets abound–but love might too. A writer/editor AU with a thriller twist.

Rated E. Includes sexual content, kidnapping, some gore, mild violence, and minor character death–not to mention salty language! On Ao3 here.

Chapter warnings: Confrontations, one main character striking another, corporate espionage.

THINGS ARE HAPPENING, FRIENDS. So thank you so much to all of you who have been reading and commenting and waiting for things to get here, and to all of you who helped me get here. Thank you to all the wonderful ladies at @captainswanbigbang for all you’ve done to make this possible, and all the support you’ve given. Sophie @shady-swan-jones made the delightful banner and another photoset that I adore. Kayla @bleebug did some incredible art for the first and sixth chapters, which you can check out here and here. And all the love and thanks to Kris @sambethe for beta-ing this and making it a ton better. Like seriously, she’s the best.

[Ch. 1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10]

Chapter 11

Emma goes to Killian, and he has to deal with the fall-out of her discovering his subterfuge. That's not the only thing that goes pear-shaped in his life as things heat up at Mills & Booth.

Killian

Killian hadn't precisely slept well the night before, but it hadn't been the worst night's sleep. He and Emma had argued, but he was willing to chalk it up to strong personalities and the adjustment period that tended to happen early in relationships.

He'd been restless all day as a result, and trying not to sit beside his phone and wait for a text or call from her. He was convinced, though, that she'd call as soon as he walked away from the infernal thing.

But morning had come and gone, as had the afternoon. It was early in the evening by the time he finally accepted he'd have to do something to feed his growling stomach, and that he and Emma likely wouldn't be making up just yet.

Maybe she just needed a little more time to cool off.

Killian had always run hot and his anger turned to grudges, but it didn't seem like Emma was the type to hold onto grievances. Especially, the petty part of him insisted, when he was right and that she was behaving a little irrationally and blowing things out of proportion. He shushed that small voice, looking in his cupboards for something he could throw together for dinner.

He found the necessary items for his favorite recipe of pasta primavera, knowing the act of preparing a meal would provide some solace and a much-needed distraction. He wanted to pour himself a generous snifter of rum, but he was still holding onto hope that Emma might call and they could put their disagreement behind them. Then there could be pasta, kisses, and maybe even shagging.

He had just pulled the pasta off the range and was grating Parmesan when a knock came at the door. His heart leapt when he saw Emma through the peephole. Killian opened the door, trying to temper the wide smile on his face.

"Swan, I'm so glad to see you. Come on i--"

She cut him off abruptly with a stinging slap to his cheek.

Well, that answered the question of whether she was willing to put their tiff behind them.

"Love, stop," he said, grabbing her wrist and halting another strike. "What happened? I'm sorry we disagreed, but it's hardly a reason to turn violent."

He was flummoxed by this sudden turn from her coldness the night before. The ice had clearly melted off, leaving behind a molten rage that was clear in her eyes and the way she was very nearly shaking.

Emma twisted her wrist from his grasp, and he dropped his hold on her and stepped back. She walked inside and he took the opportunity to close the door, not wanting his neighbors to use their fight as the evening's entertainment.

Standing a good five feet away from him, Emma finally broke her stony silence. "You were spying on me? What the hell, Killian? For August? What the actual fuck?"

The color draining from Killian’s face and his stomach dropped to his feet. No, more like below his feet. If it were possible, his stomach felt as though it had dropped through the earth's many layers and into hell.

He certainly wasn't hungry anymore.

"I--wha--how did you find out?" he asked, realizing there was no reason to continue to lie, that it wouldn't help him at all anymore. Not that it ever would have, he knew.

"That's really what you want to know? How I found out?" She was glowing, nay, vibrating with rage. She was still achingly, heartbreakingly beautiful, with her eyes flashing and her expression fierce. He wanted to hold her, to pull her close and bring her comfort, but when he reached out to touch her shoulder, she pushed his hand away. Not with the force with which she'd slapped him earlier, but it certainly wasn't gentle.

He sighed. "I suppose that's not what matters now. I am sorry, though, I want you to know. I quit, I told August before our first date that I wouldn't continue to spy on you."

He watched as she stepped back and crossed her arms. "Just...why? Why would you do that? Betray my trust like that?" Her voice broke, and so did his heart with it.

"I...it was selfish, and wrong. I was trying to get away from a bad situation in London, and August offered me an out in exchange for my work and information on you. I didn't ask why, and he never volunteered a reason."

Her eyes welled with tears, and he fought away some of his own. She didn't speak, so he continued. "I stopped early on. I--I didn't count on you, Emma, when I agreed. You should know that. You swept through my life. You captivated me, mind, soul, and heart. I wouldn't--I can't begin to convey how sorry I am, but I also promise that I'd never hurt you or betray you again."

"Too late," she said, her voice rough, harsh. "I--I can't trust you anymore. You lied to me, and that--that's it for me."

“What are you saying, love?” His voice was more frantic than he was proud of, and he cringed at the sound of it.

“You don't get to call me that anymore. We--we’re done, Killian.”

“Emma, please--” He pleaded with her and moved toward her, stopping just short of reaching for her.

“No. Don't...just stop. We still have to work together, so I'll be professional. But I don't want you to talk to me about anything outside of work,” she said, her shoulders slumped. She sounded resigned, defeated.

And he felt utterly deflated.

Killian didn't reply to her soft “goodbye” as she walked out of his flat, out of his life.

&&&

He sobered himself up enough to attend work that week, but he moved about in a fog for a full five days after Emma broke up with him. Each night, he drowned his sorrows in rum, trying to numb the pain that his cock-ups, and her resulting departure, had caused. He got one brief email from her with a couple notes about an upcoming chapter, but he couldn’t even bring himself to respond.

Finally, on Thursday, Robin called him. He sounded tentative as he asked, “Hey mate, your text sounded a bit off. Want to grab a pint?”

Killian didn’t remember texting Robin, but he quickly scrolled through his recent texts. He winced, seeing the numerous errors and misspellings. “Yeah, I could go for a pint. Rough week, you know.”

“Aye. Cornwall’s?”

“I can swing that.”

“There aren’t usually too many tourists on Thursdays, so we should be fine,” Robin said.

Killian managed a small smile and joked, “You don’t think we count?”

Robin laughed and Killian continued, “I’ll see you there at eight or so, if that gives you time to find a sitter for Roland.”

“It’s not an issue--I’ve a friend who looks after him while I work, and he was already planning on taking him for the night.”

“I’m not messing with plans or anything, am I?” asked Killian.

Robin laughed. “No, I originally had a date, but I cancelled. She made some comment about puppies that seemed rather...off. So, for the record, you’re a rather large project that came up at work.”

Later that evening as they slowly drank their pints of ale, Killian found himself amused in spite of his continued glumness. Robin was animatedly recounting the story of one of his arrests from last week and the hijinks that had ensued as he and his partner had tried to track him down. The evening was almost enough to make him forget the ache in his chest, the hole left by Emma.

Eventually, though, Robin grew serious. “Now, if you don’t want to tell me, that’s fine, but...are you all right?”

Killian stared down into the amber liquid in his glass, swirling it around. “Well enough, I suppose, for having just been chucked by the most amazing woman I’ve ever met.”

“This is your writer lass? The famous one?” he asked, sitting up and listening intently.

“Aye,” Killian said, nodding. “She’s the first woman since Milah who I really connected with, and I fucked it up.”

“Oh, how so?”

Killian hesitated a moment, realizing his friend was in fact law enforcement. Then he realized how much he needed to get it off his chest, how much he needed to tell someone. Somehow, over the last couple months, Emma had become so much more than a love interest--she’d become his closest friend, the person he chatted with about everything. And now he didn’t have that, couldn’t tell her about the weird ship in a bottle he saw or listen to her laugh about what one of the regulars at Granny’s Diner had done.

So he warned Robin that some of his behavior might not have been strictly legal. When he reassured him that as long as no one was being physically hurt it would stay between them, Killian told him the whole sordid tale, from the first time August contacted him to the alcohol-fueled stupor of the previous few days.

“Shit,” said Robin when Killian had finished. “That’s…”

“A disaster?”

“To put it mildly.”

Killian sighed.

As soon as he ordered them another pint (the final one, Robin insisted), he said, “Well, if you need a listening ear or any such rot, I’m here. D’you think there’s a chance Emma could give you another shot?”

“Doubtful, mate.”

&&&

On Monday morning he strolled into the office miraculously free of a hangover. Since his chat with Robin, he’d worked on cutting back on his drinking. Not eliminating it entirely, but he made a marked improvement over the previous week’s constant queasiness and malaise.

He settled into the chair behind his desk, intent on picking up on the work he'd slacked on last week. God, but he'd been a wreck. Today, he promised himself, he would accomplish things. Maybe even get to Emma's chapter, if he could work up the nerve.

He had opened his email and was looking over some of the other projects that had crossed his desk when he heard a knock at the door. He yelled out, "Come on in!"

Killian was surprised to see Ariel, and a rather frantic-looking Ariel at that. Her eyes were wide as she stumbled into the room, arms flailing. He didn't know the lass terribly well, but she seemed like the calm and cheerful sort. He had yet to see her looking harried, or entering his office. Today appeared to be the exception.

"Uh, Killian? I mean, Mr. Jones?"

"Killian is fine, Ariel," he said, frowning at her obvious discomfort and worry. "What seems to be the problem?"

She bit her lip, worrying it between her teeth. "Well, I just got a letter from the, uh, Immigration Services about your work visa. It says they found that a bunch of things are out of compliance and that, uh, you need to stop working for wages immediately, return what you've earned, and that they'll be launching an investigation. And maybe deporting , you," she finished with a squeak.

Shit fucking damn.

This was...beyond bad. This was catastrophic. He had to admit, he hadn't paid much attention to the particulars of his visa, had let August--

August.

August had to be the one responsible for this. He had initially arranged the visa and Killian's immigration, had sped it along with his contact. And he had been the one disappointed when Killian stopped providing him information about Emma.

Well, it clearly hadn't taken him too long to undo the permissions he'd obtained for Killian. (God, had it even been on the up-and-up to begin with?)

He was reeling, nearly hyperventilating when he sucked in a long breath. Realizing he hadn't actually replied to Ariel, he tried to find the words. Coming up blank, dropped his head into his hands and groaned.

He felt a light pat on his shoulder and glanced up to find Ariel attempting to provide him with the awkward solace she felt capable of. He also caught sight of a glass of water, which he downed in one gulp. "Thank you, Ariel."

"Are...are you going to be okay?"

He shrugged and sighed. "I don't know, do I? But I should leave today, shouldn't I? I don't want to endanger anything or cause problems for anyone."

She twisted her hands together, clearly concerned. "Well, I'd talk to Cleo. She handles a lot of HR stuff and has some contacts of her own, so that might be the best route."

"Erm, I'm not sure she's all that fond of me," he replied.

"I don't think that will matter to her if she feels like you're a worthy cause," Ariel said, nodding and exiting his office.

Well, then.

&&&

Fuck, he was nervous. He wasn't sure what it was about Cleo, but something put him on the defensive and reminded him of the nuns at the Catholic school he'd attended as a wee lad, strict and disapproving of whatever she thought he was up to. (Truthfully, though, he hadn't been all that mischievous as a boy, not unless it involved Liam or one of the other boys insulting someone in his family.)

But here he stood, next to Cleo's open office door, hoping she wouldn't notice him dithering about in the hallway deciding whether or not to go in.

"Mr. Jones? Why are you still standing outside? Come in here and close the door," he heard in Cleo's authoritative, strong voice.

Ah well, no such luck then. He followed her bidding, entering the room quickly and closing the door behind him before sitting in the chair across from her.

How different this was from their first interview--he couldn't summon any of his trademark charm (smarm, an internal voice sounding suspiciously like Emma’s said) to hide behind. He didn't have the promise of so much as a flirtation with Emma to look forward to. Instead, all he had was an official-looking document telling him to stop working and threatening him with deportation. He had to say, the trade-off was not ideal.

"Well?" she said, an eyebrow raised rather imperiously.

Wordlessly, he handed her the letter Ariel had given him. He watched an array of emotions dance across her face as she read it--surprise, shock, dismay, something that looked a little like guilt, and finally, determination.

"Shit, Jones," she said.

He nodded in agreement. "I couldn't sum it up better myself."

"So...why bring this to me?" She tossed the letter onto her desk between them and crossed her arms as she stared at him expectantly.

"Ariel brought me this rather ghastly piece of communication and stopped me before I left. She said you're occasionally good at handling tricky situations like this," he said.

"You're looking for a quick fix, then?"

He shook his head. "As lovely as that would be, I'd be happy with an explanation and maybe a couple of possibilities about what I can do now."

Grudging respect was how he'd later describe the look on her face. She looked at him for nearly a full minute, seeming to weighing and considering him. He didn't look away from her. Finally, her face cleared and she nodded, apparently satisfied with whatever she'd found in their stare-down. "Honestly,” she said, “I'm not entirely sure what has happened to bring this about, but do you mind telling me a little about your perception of the situation?"

Killian gave her his rundown of the previous months, from August contacting him to how quickly he'd gotten leave to come over to Boston. He briefly mentioned that they'd had a falling-out, and that while it was not exactly personal, it wasn't entirely professional either.

Cleo listened impassively. "I know a lawyer who works in immigration, and she could probably help you get a stay on this, if that's what you want. It's not a permanent fix, but that'll probably take a while. We should also talk to Regina, she will want to know what’s happened and there might be something she can do to help. In the meantime, where are you in your projects?"

He offered her a grateful smile, feeling the tension in his shoulders dissipate some. "Well, my largest project is obviously editing Emma's new book. She's made some excellent progress, but we may have also had a row. And a complete end to our...more personal communication, actually."

That furtive, guilty look appeared again on Cleo’s face. "I might have heard something about that. I'll see what we can do, if you all decide you want to continue to work together professionally. We could probably get you a tourist visa and make you a contractor..."

He nodded at her, willing to follow any of her suggestions. She might intimidate the hell out of him, but there was something trustworthy and knowledgeable about her. "Whatever you think will work. And Cleo?"

"Hmm?" She was lost in thought, typing notes out quickly.

He smiled, a tiny shred of hope blooming in his chest. "Thank you."

&&&

He'd gone home at the end of his meeting with Cleo, called Robin, and started looking into his options for an attorney. Robin had been at work, but he'd offered his support, even if he couldn't do much. "Don't worry, mate, I won't arrest you...and fine, I'll see what I can do in terms of helping you out."

It was a couple more days before he received a summons from Regina. She wanted to meet with him along with August and Cleo. Cleo had texted him after he received the calendar request, told him he really had no way of proving August's involvement without making his life much more difficult, so they’d have to find another approach.

And he knew she had a point. So he went in for the meeting, on his guard and having absolutely zero clue about what to expect.

You could have knocked him over with a feather when he entered Regina's office to find her at her desk, with Cleo and August sitting together with Emma. Regina waved him in and Killian joined them on the couch.

"Er, hello," he said with a brief nod.

Regina rolled her eyes. "This isn't Alcoholic's Anonymous, Mr. Jones. Now that we're all here, we can discuss how to proceed with this immigration dilemma you've found yourself in."

A retort was hot on the tip of his tongue, but he bit it back, especially when he saw the smug look on August's face and the cautionary one on Cleo's. Emma looked blank, uninterested. Her presence both bolstered him up and was like a vise squeezing his heart. She was so close, but she'd never seemed farther away.

He simply nodded again. "Well, shall we begin, then?"

A business-like façade fell over Regina's face again. "Indeed. So, thanks to Cleo, it looks like we were able to get a stay of proceedings that would lead to your deportation while officials look over your documents and figure out if everything has been done properly," she said, nodding at Cleo.

Killian was extremely gratified to see the smirk fall off August's face. Emma looked up, clearly surprised.

Cleo just gave one single nod. "Yep. There's been a stay of that, and we got you a tourist visa. So, officially you're just here visiting, and we were able to get that to start from the date of issuance, fortunately, instead of it being retroactive. So we have about six months to figure this out."

"...but things do tend to move slowly when in comes to customs and immigration," Regina interjected, "so I'd like to get started today."

"First, I think we should really take a look at why Killian is here, and what he brings to the table," August said. "It might be easier to help you find a job back in the UK and just go with an American editor, or at least someone whose papers are in order."

"No!" Everyone turned, surprised to find Emma was the one to respond so vehemently.

Killian was honestly just surprised Emma had spoken at all, let alone in defense of him.

He tried very hard not to read into it.

Emma clenched her jaw and stared down everyone but him, her gaze lingering on August. "No. Killian isn't replaceable. He's been a great editor, and his help and input have been invaluable. Changing editors at this juncture would have a very negative effect on the quality of my book, which I think we can all agree would be a bad thing."

"Are you sure you're not allowing your personal attachments to cloud your judgment, Miss Swan?" asked Regina.

"I am," she said levelly, "given that we've ended our personal association."

Surprise shone in Regina's eyes, and then respect. "Very well. So we can all agree that Mr. Jones is important for this novel--"

"--but we need to figure out whether his work on other projects is up to par. Otherwise, why bother with anything other than telecommuting?"

Killian could swear he saw every woman in the room roll their eyes.

"Thank you for your interruption, Mr. Booth, and we'll take your input into account. I am rather curious as to why you suddenly seem so keen on shipping Mr. Jones back to London, when you're the one who advocated for bringing him on," said Regina with a sardonic lift of an eyebrow.

August had the decency to looked a little embarrassed, but he recovered quickly. "I'm just trying to do what's best for Mills & Booth, and that includes maintaining a team that can work smoothly together. Is that really happening?"

"Yes," Emma said fiercely, lying through the skin of her teeth.

Killian shot her a grateful look, which she acknowledged with a slight dip of her head. "Now that we've all established that we're professional adults, can we get on with some of the practicalities of the issue?" he asked.

Cleo snorted. "Agreed," she said.

Regina's mouth twisted into a smile. "That does seem to be the most efficient use of our time."

If August was bothered by this turn of events, he didn't show it. In fact, he looked beyond pleased, especially when the door to Regina's office burst open.

Even Regina looked shocked to see Cora Mills striding through the door, Ariel trailing behind her muttering her objections to the intrusion.

Cora Mills. She was a legend within the publishing world, having married the heir of a small publishing house and turning it into the juggernaut that was Royal Hearts publishing. It was primarily known for romance novels, but its forays into literary fiction were well-respected. She couldn't seem to step a foot wrong when it came to books, and most authors would kill for a chance to meet her.

She was also Regina's mother.

Killian wasn't entirely sure when the schism between the Mills women had happened, but it was common knowledge within the publishing world that they didn't get along. Regina had started her own competing publishing house, after all.

There was a long, tense silence before Cora finally spoke. "Hello, Regina. Your office is lovely, even if this is quite the collection of...professionals in it. Between the one in trouble with Immigration, the glorified beat cop, and the felon, I'm actually impressed Mills & Booth hasn't imploded already."

Emma moved quickly, but Killian was able to stop her before she took a swing at Cora Mills.

"I'd expect nothing less from an orphan of unknown parentage with a rap sheet," Cora sneered, brushing at her clothes where Emma had come close to grazing her.

At that point, Cleo had to hold back both him and Emma.

Regina stood and made her way over to the center of the room, her face grim and mouth in a line. "Mother, what do you want? Or did you just come here to insult me and mine?"

"No, I came here with a proposition."

"Ah," Regina said, giving nothing away.

"Regina--and August--you both know very well I have plenty of contacts that could help fix Mr. Jones' little tiff with the authorities. And I'd gladly help promote Miss Swan's novel, if that's something you think is a worthy cause," she said.

Regina's mouth tightened. "But what do get out of it? I've never known you to do a damn thing for free."

Cora's eyes gleamed. "I don't want anything but time with you, Regina. I've loathed being so cut off from my only child."

She snorted. "How sentimental of you, and it might be more believable if I hadn't just seen a plan Mr. Booth drew up granting you shares in Mills & Booth."

There was an audible gasp that came from either Emma or himself, he wasn't sure.

Cora's face twisted briefly before melting into a look of motherly concern. "That's just because I know how much an investment could help, and I'd get to see so much more of you."

Uncertainty crossed her face, but Regina crossed her arms. "Get out," she said. "And if you would kindly refrain from insulting my colleagues or bullying my assistant while you're on your way out, I'd appreciate it."

Cora schooled her features and nodded imperiously. "Very well. But just know your mother is here for you whenever you need me," she said.

She swept out, and silence reigned.

Finally, Regina cleared her throat. "Well, if that's done, can we just agree that we'll work on figuring out Mr. Jones' visa situation, while hiring him as a contractor to work exclusively on Miss Swan's project for now?"

Cleo, Emma, and Killian all nodded, none of them missing the distrustful glare Regina directed at August.

#cs ff #csbb #captain swan #cs au #cs mc ff #part of the narrative #amber writes #things are happening #dun dun dun

70 notes · View notes

summylise · 7 years

Text

Erasing the Stigma: Fanfiction as Legitimate Form of Literature

Remember this post from a few weeks ago that got a ton of notes (which I am STOKED about)? Well...I just submitted the final draft!! I figured you guys would want to see what your responses amounted to so here it is!! If you’d like to share it with others (especially those who look down at fanfiction) go ahead!! I’d love to spread the word more~~

(Oh! and here is where you can access the original formatted with the works cited essay)

Erasing the Stigma: Fanfiction as Legitimate Form of Literature

Two writers type on a desktop computer. One sits cross-legged in a dark room lit only by a single, smooth Mac surrounded by sheets of character references, thesauruses, dictionaries, and the occasional motivational quote. The other in a similar position but at their local Panera with nothing but their school laptop open to a few wikis, Thesaurus.com, and maybe some calming music. Both bite their lip as the words fail to transfer to screen. Both stress about the possible response to their pieces. A few hours later and they are ready to submit. The first contacts their agent who then contacts a few others. Days, weeks, months pass and the first writer still hasn’t heard back from their agent. The second author uploads their file as soon as they finish typing the last word, sometimes in an email to their beta (or their editor from the same fan-base), other times directly to the site. Days, weeks, months pass and the second author has already cranked out more chapters, received a handful of reviews, and has gained many followers. The difference? The second person uploaded theirs to Fanfiction.net and is looked down upon by most of society. There has often been a stigma associated with the term “fanfiction”, as if it was a disease or something others look down upon. Yet many see it as a creative outlet and something that allows them to fully express themselves in a way that formal writing or writing a physical book cannot. Some oppose the fact that fanfiction, stories written about video games, movies, television shows, etc., are forms of literature and say that reading and writing is not “real” reading or writing. They even may go as far to say that fanfics serve no outside purpose and has no content. While some stories may be lacking in the grammatical or logical correctness, fanfiction as a whole is in fact a valid form of literature, especially when compared to formal reading and writing.

In order to discuss fanfiction, it needs to be defined. Fanfics are stories that are written by fans of a certain form of entertainment (whether that be musicals, books, animes, television shows, movies, etc.)(Lammers and Marsh). Fanfic authors are not paid, do not expect anything in return (except for the occasional review or two), and write just because they like the show and have an appreciation for writing. The fanfic author, formerly known as epeolatryx on Tumblr, writes, “People don’t pay for fanfiction. Reviews are our currency. Thank yous pay for the effort we spend on the next one,” (Xambedo). Another difference comes in the form of creativity, or rather, starting with nothing versus starting with a pre-existing base. Instead of creating entirely new universes with brand new characters, fanfic authors use existing characters, settings, and plots from existing medias to generate their own stories. Some of these stories even become so popular that they end up published due to a uniqueness they had despite being based on something else. The After series by Anna Todd, a One Direction fanfic, began on Wattpad, a free, digital publishing service, and became a published novel that is going to be made into a movie (Contrera). Granted, Todd had to change the names of the band mates in order to avoid copyright infringement but this successful story still began as fanfiction. Other fanfictions include The Little Mermaid, The Lion King, Ella Enchanted, and many more that do not seem obvious to the naked eye. The only difference between stories on sites like Fanfiction.net and the ones listed above are that the second are considered “actual books” or “real reading” whereas the first are not. It all comes down to what makes up real literature.

Literature is defined as “any piece of writing that can claim that it has—in some way—artistic beauty” according to Richard Jewell, author of Experiencing the Humanities. However, he later states that items such as bullet points and grocery lists would not count as they are not artistic and are only meant to serve as lists rather than actual pieces. In his textbook, he states all of the qualities that make literature and claims that if a piece were to include those attributes, that it would be considered literature. Those three attributes are creative description, characters, and plot (Jewell). All of those are included in fanfiction which are just stories created using non-original characters. Based on these requirements, fanfiction would factually be regarded as literature. Not only does fanfiction count technically as literature, but the process is the same.

Fanfiction should also be viewed through a newer learning term known as the multiliteracy framework. Multiliteracies are forms of reading or writing that incorporate more than just a pen and an idea; they explain how different cultural mediums, forms of communication, and compositional variety come together to create a piece (Chandler-Olcott and Mahar 559). Three main branches of this framework can specifically be applied to fanfiction: multimodality, intertextuality, and hybridity.

Multimodality involves the “integration of various Designs such as visual, linguistic, and audio in one text…” (Chandler-Olcott and Mahar 561). In regards to fanfiction, authors often employ these three attributes in order to entertain their readers and make their story more enjoyable. In my experience as a fanfic writer and reader, we authors show pictures or fanarts that we have created or have had created for us, find music or sound effects to serve as the background to our stories, and alter their fonts to evoke a stronger meaning (such as italicizing thoughts). By doing so, we are incorporating many different elements into one to create a diverse and interesting final product.

The second concept is that of intertextuality. Intertextuality are the “relationships and references between and among texts. Fanfiction is the crossing of original ideas with those of pre-existing characters and features which, in a sense, is exactly what intertextuality is. The connection between two sources doesn’t have to be strictly between two written pieces; Chandler-Olcott and Mahar explain that it can also occur between fanfiction and reality. The authors describe a fanfic the girls they studied wrote that involved deep, psychological questions such as a woman’s place in the world and heterosexual relationships despite the girls still being in middle school. The authors say, “Viewing rhetorical moves like these from the perspective of the Multiliteracies framework helped us to appreciate how complicated, and even sophisticated, the girls’ fanfics often were,” (Chandler-Olcott and Mahar 563). The two fanfic authors were able to pull from different forms of “text” in order to create a unique and thought provoking piece by using the concept of intertextuality.

Finally, hybridity is the creation of new ideas by picking and choosing specific parts of different mediums and combining them in a unique and sometimes never before seen way. Fanfics tend to grab from many different areas such as different genres and different story structures. When I go to publish a work of mine on Fanfiction.net, it prompts me to select two different genres before I can continue. Much like published books, fanfictions mix many genres together such as adventure, romance, comedy, etc. in order to create a successful and unique piece. However, fanfictions differ from books immensely when it comes to story structure. In fanfics, there tends to be a lack of an exposition or any explanation, description, or background of the story; the author jumps right in (Chandler-Olcott and Mahar 564). Fanfic authors choose to not add an exposition because they know that their audience knows almost everything about their characters: their physical attributes, their history, their personalities, their hopes and fears (Chandler-Olcott and Mahar 564). By neglecting to include an intro and picking multiple genres with which to base their stories on, fanfic authors rely very heavily on the concept of hybridity. Creating a hybrid of literature tends to have consequences, though not the ones that society may expect.

Fanfictions are a new branch of reading and writing that not only counts structurally, subjectively, and scholarly as a form of literature but also, much like its published counterparts, leaves an impression. In my survey of over two-hundred people, I found that around 53.59% of respondents had connected with new people they otherwise would not have met through fanfiction, whether it was reading or writing. This is due to the collaboration and connection with authors and readers via the follow, favorite, review or comment ability on Fanfiction.net that allows people to say how a certain chapter made them feel, make assumptions on future chapters, and offer suggestions for future chapters. Social media also plays a role in connecting readers and writers. On the popular social media site, Tumblr, many fanfic authors publish their stories in order to further spread their work across their fandoms (or domains in which fans from the same genre congregate). This allows the fan-base to actually contact the author on a more personal level rather than just via the comment section.

In addition, fanfiction affect the connection between each other but it also changes one’s reading and writing habits. Motoko Rich’s claim that student standardized reading scores have steadily declined due to online reading (Rich 1). However, measuring one’s aptitude for test taking does not translate to their inclination towards reading. A psychology professor at Michigan State, Linda A. Jackson, agrees when talking about the results of giving low income students internet access: “[The students] were kids who would typically not be reading in their free time… Once they’re on the Internet, they’re reading,” (qtd. in Rich). I have also found that fanfiction actually increases a reader's want to read by means of the survey I conducted. 75.95% of respondents say that they are more motivated to read fanfiction than actual books, which in turn makes it easier for them to read more.“Books are a big time commitment for something I might not like. With fanfiction, I get something I’m already familiar with and will know I’ll enjoy, and they’re much shorter,” said a respondent to my survey. This is because in published works, the author has to include an exposition where they describe the characters and setting. In fanfiction, since it’s based on a world that already exists, the readers already know what the characters and setting look like so the author can jump right into writing their story. Reading online not only increases one’s wish to read, but also improves their writing as well. According to the study done by Jayne C. Lammers and Valerie L. Marsh titled “Going Public”, the young author they had longitudinally studied said that fanfiction had allowed her to stay anonymous and therefore felt more willing to share her works with others than if they had known who she was (Lammers and Marsh 281). By being anonymous, fanfic authors are able to express themselves and produce pieces that they otherwise may not have shared which allows them to further grow as a writer. A fanfiction writer who took my survey said the following:

Real writing, to me, is writing that makes us grow both as readers and writers. When I first started writing, it was through fanfiction. I was horrid at first. But fanfiction gave me a supportive, eager community to be able to continue producing work and subsequently grow into the writer that I am today. Therefore, I can confidently say that fanfiction is a valid alternative to reading and writing.

With the practice of writing fanfiction and support of the community, this author was able to make a name for themselves and eventually grow into the writer as seen above. A writer that may either turn into a published author or a fanfiction author.

#fanfiction #essay #drabbles #fanfics

19 notes · View notes

hkvoyage · 8 years

Text

Fic: Butterfly Wings - Chapter 38

Story summary A fashion blog started at University launched Blaine Anderson’s fortune and fame. As Vogue’s new editor-in-chief, he is struggling to find an original angle for an upcoming issue. Kurt Hummel has recently arrived in New York City after finishing high school, and is having no luck building a musical theater career, so he decides to explore another passion of his: fashion. He applies for an internship at Vogue, and Isabelle sees in him the perfect fresh face to liven up the magazine, and convinces him to try out as a model. Kurt meets Blaine, and in spite of their 10-year age difference, sparks fly. Can they overcome misunderstandings and sabotage to find their happily-ever-after? Klaine model AU. Rating for this chapter: General (overall story is mature) Word count for this chapter: 5,750 Can also be read on A03 / FF Masterpost is here. You’re in for a real treat with the artwork contained in this chapter. They were created by Cassie at @cc-graphics. She has been so unbelievably supportive for a newbie author like myself. The overall story artwork was produced early in my writing and some days, it kept me going. Please go here to give her all the love she deserves for the photos.

Thank you to the amazing @lilyvandersteen for the beta work and support. ***** Author’s note: Pay attention to the day things are happening. The chapter takes pace over a 10-day period. “To share your weakness is to make yourself vulnerable; to make yourself vulnerable is to show your strength.” – Criss Jami May - Sunday “I think we should do the photo shoot on the set Tuesday. On Wednesday, we’ll do the outdoor shoot and then we’ll head to Blaine’s place,” Paul, the lead photographer, suggests after listening to Blaine’s plans for the revised June issue. “Can someone get the permit to shoot in Central Park? Let’s pray it doesn’t rain.” “I’ll get someone to sort that out,” Tina replies, furiously typing into her computer. “Will that give you enough time to get the outfits together, Liam?” Blaine asks. “You’ve got a fantastic wardrobe, Blaine. I’m thinking that we’ll use your clothes so they don’t need to be altered. Can I come over this evening to pick out some outfits? That will leave Monday for doing any necessary cleaning and selecting the accessories.”

At Blaine’s nod, Liam continues. “The main thing that worries me is the cover. I’m not sure I can pull it off. I’m thinking we should use a professional theater costume designer, but I doubt we can get someone to create what you’re thinking of before Tuesday.” Blaine leans back in his chair and takes off his glasses before rubbing his eyes. This was always going to be the difficult part. “I’ve got an idea,” Paul says. “Why don’t we Photoshop it? I’m good friends with Jeff Huang, who’s the best in the field for digital art, and he’s based right here in New York City.” “Do you think he’ll agree to do it?” Blaine asks hopefully. “Think of the exposure he’ll get with his digital art on the cover of Vogue. Jeff will be all over it. Let me call him now.” When Paul has left the room, Blaine turns to Unique. “I’m counting on you living up to your name in the make-up area.” Unique gulps and slowly nods. “I’ve already texted Lady Divine, who’s promised to help me. But your hair, Blaine…” “What’s wrong with it?” “I’m thinking that you need an edgier style.” “Nope, I’m not getting rid of the curls. Not doing it. I spent my teenage years gelling my hair, and now that I’ve figured out a way to control them, I’m keeping the curls.” Unique huffs and stands up, placing a hand on her hip. “Honey, you need to trust Unique. I’m not suggesting for one single moment that you get rid of those curls. I’m thinking about a cut that will show them off even more. When Mark Townsend helped us out on the Hamilton-inspired photo shoot, he had some really great ideas about your hair.” “Okay, Unique. I guess it’s go big or go home. Can you set up an appointment for tomorrow?” “Already done. Townsend is expecting you at 4 p.m.” Now that all aspects of the photo shoot have been discussed, the conversation turns to the main article. “I want to make one thing very clear about the main article. I must have full editorial control. There are specific things I want included and other things I will not discuss. That is non-negotiable.” “Do you want to write the article yourself?” Isabelle politely asks. “No. I won’t have the time and it would get far too sappy. I’m looking for a top-notch journalist to write it to my specifications.” Isabelle sits up straight before she replies. “Santino Cruz is a new staff writer for the website. He’s a wonderful reporter, and his articles are thoughtful and compassionate. I’m expecting him to go places one day, but for now, he writes articles about celebrities and travel pieces.” “Do you think Santino is up for the job?” “Yes, I do. I can be there during the interview, if you like, and polish up the article before your final editing.” “I trust your judgement, Isabelle. I’ll email you the list of things I wish to be included. Can you and Santino start the interview tomorrow morning? It looks like I’m going to be very busy with the photo shoots after that.” “Consider it done. We’ll also have to run the article by your PR agency.” Tina and the head of distribution talk about the logistics of getting the revised cover and article to the printers in time. The finance director approves the additional costs for the overtime required to print and distribute the issue over the weekend. The website content has been assigned over to Isabelle’s number two – she will be far too busy with the article and coordinating events to give the website the attention it deserves. At the end of the meeting, Blaine smiles for the first time, realizing that this is really going to happen. He returns to his office to make an important phone call. It’s the last piece of the puzzle that needs to be in place to pull off Operation Woo Kurt. ***** “Blaine Anderson. How nice to hear from you! I haven’t seen you since you came on the show after becoming Vogue’s editor-in-chief.” “Has it really been that long, Ellen?” “Yes, it has been that long. So when are you going to grace my show with your presence again?” “I’m glad you asked that. How far ahead do you tape your show?” “One day.” “So if I wanted to be on the show on a Tuesday, it would be taped on the Monday?” “Yes, that’s right. Why do you ask?” Blaine crosses his fingers because the timing would work if Ellen agrees. “I have a special favor to ask you, Ellen. I’d like to be on the show airing on June 1st. Here’s what’s happening…” Blaine gives a quick spiel about Operation Woo Kurt, June’s Vogue issue, and how The Ellen Show fits into his plans. When he’s finished pitching his story, Blaine takes deep breaths, nervously waiting for Ellen’s reaction. “Are you serious, Blaine? I didn’t think you had it in you to be so bold.” Blaine chuckles, “Yeah, I didn’t think so either. So what do you say, can I be on your show?” “Absolutely! This appearance will top everyone we’ve had this year. The only thing that would make it better is if Kurt were in the audience.” “Sorry, but no can do. Kurt is currently in the Mid-West staying with his dad. I need this to be a complete surprise.” “Ugh, I understand. I’ll have the program director contact your office tomorrow about when you’re needed on set. Let’s meet up for lunch that day so you can tell me all about it and we can figure out a plan for the appearance.” ***** Tuesday Blaine looks at himself in the mirror in the make-up area, and cannot believe that it’s really him. He’s never worn so much make-up in his life. Blaine has always been confident about his looks, knowing that others find him attractive, but this is the first time he thinks of himself as beautiful. “Don’t touch your face!” Lady Divine cries out. “You’re a work of art and I can’t have you messing it up.” “How do you like it?” Unique asks in a shaky voice. “I love it, but could I have some eyeliner? Err… Kurt likes it on me.” “Anything for that boy,” Lady Divine smirks as she carefully applies the liquid liner to his eyelids. Unique squeezes a very small dollop of hair product into her palm and carefully works it through his hair. Blaine loves his new hairstyle and only hopes that Kurt does as well. As he waits for the set to be ready, Blaine relaxes for the first time since Sunday morning. There had been clothes to select, the set stylists had worked there magic in his house, and of course there had been the interview itself. Blaine had been impressed by Santino Cruz. It took half an hour to get the staff writer to relax in his presence, but once Blaine and Santino realized that they both loved Broadway, they forged a bond. Santino stayed on script for the main interview, while Isabelle interjected with a few more detailed questions. At the end, Santino had asked additional questions about the Monarch Foundation and its long-term plans. Blaine could see where he was going with this, so he gave a lot of background information and shared his vision. Santino then suggested that the article should include the Monarch House and offered to find a Westerville photographer to take some photos. Isabelle was right – Santino Cruz will be going places someday. Liam comes over and gives Blaine a quick look-over. No special clothing is needed for this part of the photo shoot. “I almost forgot. Let me take that wristband off before you go on set,” Liam says, pulling Blaine’s arm towards him. Blaine angrily pushes the hand away, which startles Liam. “Don’t touch it! I’m never going to take off this wristband! It means everything to me. It stays on during the photo shoot.” “Okay. Sorry, Blaine. I didn’t know that it was so special to you,” Liam meekly replies. “Sorry that I raised my voice, but it is special.” “We’re ready when you are,” Paul shouts. Blaine nervously gets up and adjusts the tiny shorts. He feels self-conscious without a shirt to cover his chest. Unique had insisted that he have an upper body wax yesterday, and his chest feels weird. He can feel Unique rub his shoulder. “You’ll do fine. Just remember that you’re the greatest diva of them all.” Blaine laughs at Unique’s comment and smiles back. “That’s because I’ve got you as a sidekick, my dear.” Blaine walks onto the set and stands where the marking is on the floor. The lights are blinding and he hopes he doesn’t start to sweat. “Anything you want to listen to?” Paul asks. “I’ve already got it set up,” Steve, the lighting technician, replies, and he turns on the audio system. What a diff'rence a day made Twenty-four little hours Brought the sun and the flowers Where there used to be rain My yesterday was blue, dear Today I'm part of you, dear As Blaine moves into the positions that Paul calls out, he thinks back to the 24 hours that he had spent with Kurt in LA. It was the most incredible experience of his life. Blaine’s arms flow in time to the music, imagining being held in Kurt’s arms. He rolls his head, remembering feeling Kurt inside his body, filling him with ecstasy and love. “That’s a wrap. God, Blaine, you should be a model. You can really make your body flow like liquid. And do you know how hard it is to make models look dreamy-eyed like that?” Paul remarks. “Thanks, but I think I’ll stick to my job behind my desk after this week. This is too much hard work,” Blaine chuckles. ***** Friday Blaine glances up from his computer screen and looks at Isabelle and at Santino, who is nervously twisting his hands in his lap. “It’s perfect. We’ll run with this article.” Blaine can see the relief wash over both of their faces. “Santino, this is excellent work. I especially like what you wrote about the Monarch Foundation. Maybe I can rope you into writing some of the foundation’s promotional materials… The photos you picked out are perfect. Now go take the rest of the day off. You deserve it.” Santino thanks Blaine before leaving. When Isabelle gets up, Blaine pleads with her to stay. “Can you stay with me until the cover photo is delivered? I’m really nervous to see what it looks like.” “Sure, I’ll stay. But honestly, Blaine, you have nothing to worry about. The photos in the main spread are fantastic.” “But the cover is so out there! By the way, thanks for suggesting Santino for writing the article. You’re right. He’s very talented. I wonder if there’s a position available to give him a promotion?” “I’ll look into it and make it happen.” Their conversation is interrupted by a knock on the door. Blaine eagerly waves Paul and Jeff Huang into his office. Paul hands over the printout of the June issue’s cover, and Blaine gasps when he sees it. “I…I don’t know what to say. This surpasses anything I ever imagined it would be. It truly is a piece of art. Let’s go with it.” Isabelle jumps up and gives Blaine a hug. “You pulled it off! I have to admit, when you told us the ideas for article and cover on Sunday, I didn’t think we had any chance of making such a tight deadline. But you did!” “I honestly couldn’t have done it without everyone pulling together and working crazy hours. The real proof will be in the reactions of Kurt and the readers on Tuesday.” Once everyone has cleared out of his office, Blaine checks the time. He needs to get ready to leave for the airport. He plans to be in LA over the weekend so that he can spend time with Sam and Cooper. Blaine feels bad about cutting his last trip short, but once Kurt left, Blaine just wanted to go home. When Blaine hears his phone ping, he quickly looks at the new message. You’ve been quiet this week. I miss you :(. Is everything okay? – K xx Blaine feels badly about not being in touch with Kurt all week, but he’s afraid that if he talked to Kurt, he would blurt out his plans by mistake. As much as Blaine hates doing it, he types out his reply. Work has been incredibly busy with the June issue deadline. I’m off to LA and won’t be returning until Monday night. Let’s talk on Tuesday. I love you and miss you too. – B xxxxxxxx Blaine quickly grabs his carry-on suitcase and heads out of the building and into his car, which is waiting at the curb. “Traffic is fine, Blaine. I think we’ll make it to JFK airport with plenty of time to spare. Get done what you needed to at the office?” Bentley asks. “Yeah, I’ve approved the June issue to go to the printers. It’s been quite the week. Thanks for putting up with me and all the craziness of getting me to different locations. I’m looking forward to a weekend relaxing with Sam, Mercedes and Cooper.” That it's… All or nothing… All or nothing… Cause this is my life… I'm not gonna live it twice… Blaine smiles as he presses accept on his phone. “Hey, Marley. What’s up?” “Oh my god, Blaine. You’ll never believe it. SONY is interested in our song! I personally dropped the demo off at their offices this morning, and you know what? It turns out that the personal assistant of the VP in charge of new talent has been to the Treble Clef Jazz Club before and has heard me sing ‘All or Nothing’. He remembered the song and loves it, so brought the demo directly to his boss. After about 30 minutes, the VP ushered me into her office and started to discuss a deal to produce my first album.” “That’s wonderful news, Marley!” “You better get your songwriting into gear, because I need about eight more songs.” “That’s kind of you to think of me,” replies Blaine. “It’s more than that, Blaine. The VP loved the music composition. She wants to see more original songs like that.” “Marley, I’m on my way to the airport now and will be in LA until next Tuesday night. Why don’t I call you when I get back and we can discuss it in more detail?” After agreeing to talk next week, Blaine ends the call and lets out a deep breath. Everything has happened so quickly this week. Recording the demo song on Saturday, changing the direction of Vogue’s June issue on Sunday, haircuts, body wax, and the interview on Monday, the photo shoots on Tuesday and Wednesday, reviewing the issue on Thursday, and approving the interview and cover photo today. However, Blaine thinks it’s all worth it, particularly if he gets to see Kurt next week. Blaine mentally goes through all the plans from now until Tuesday, June 1st. There’s only one last detail he needs to take care of. He scrolls through his contact list and makes the call. “Blaine. What can I do for you, bud?” “Hi, Burt. After we talked on Saturday, I figured out a plan to woo Kurt.” “I know you did. Your father filled me in. I even went over to the Monarch House to be in the photos. I can’t wait to see Kurt’s face when he sees the June issue. He’s gonna love it.” “I hope he does. I need your help on one little matter. What are you doing next Tuesday at 3 p.m.?” ***** Tuesday Kurt is surprised to see his father at the kitchen table at 8 a.m. Usually, he’s already left at that time to open the garage. “Shouldn’t you be at work, Dad?” “Timmy’s opening the shop today. I thought I would take it easy this morning.” Kurt sees his father glance at the kitchen clock and fidget on his seat. “You home all day, kiddo?” “No plans yet. I’m going to spend time designing this morning. I’ll see what the weather’s like before I decide what to do in the afternoon.” “How about I come home early and we do something together. You’re always going on at me about how we don’t have a decent guest bedroom. Maybe we can fix it up or something?” Kurt looks at his father skeptically. Since when does his dad volunteer to decorate a room? Before Kurt can figure out what’s going on, the doorbell rings. “Go answer the door. It’s for you.” Kurt shakes his head and chuckles. Something is definitely going on. When he answers the door, he sees the postman with a large envelope from Vogue. Kurt accepts the envelope and sets it down on the counter before opening the fridge to figure out what he’ll have for breakfast. “Aren’t you gonna open it?” “It’s just the June issue of Vogue. I’ll read it this evening after dinner.” “You’ll do no such thing! Open it now!” Burt roars. “Okay, Dad. Calm down - remember your heart. I didn’t know it’s so important to you that I read Vogue as soon as I receive it.” “Well, it is,” Burt huffs. Kurt can feel his dad’s eyes on him as he carefully takes the magazine out of the envelope. Kurt’s jaw drops and tears slowly form when he sees the cover.

Blaine is on the cover. Blaine is naked from the waist up, wearing what looks like shorts. Kurt can tell that Blaine has been keeping up his exercise regime and he likes what he sees. Before Kurt gets too carried away looking at the distinctive V trailing down into the shorts, his eyes rake up Blaine’s chest. Did Blaine really wax his body? Kurt hopes that he can convince Blaine to grow back his chest hair because he loves the feel of it against his naked body. It does things to him. Kurt next looks at Blaine’s face. Blaine’s wearing make-up, but it’s slightly smudged – as if he has just finished a strenuous performance. Kurt bites his fist when he manages to take his eyes off Blaine to see the total picture. Blaine’s arms are clasped together as if praying, and behind him are butterfly wings. The wings are ethereal and look almost transparent - a blend of green and blue colors, with flecks of gold. Kurt gasps when he sees that Blaine’s only adornment is the silicone rainbow bracelet. The background looks as if Blaine has risen from a fantasy scene. Printed along the top of the cover is Blaine Anderson – Find out what really matters to him. Kurt wipes his tears from his eyes, appreciating that no-one else would understand the butterfly wings. Only him. It’s all for him. Kurt feels his father wrap his arms around him. The feeling grounds him as he cries into his dad’s chest. “I hope those are happy tears, son.” “I can’t believe that Blaine did this. God, I love him so much.” “I know you do. Aren’t you going to read the interview?” Kurt nods and returns to his seat. He opens the issue and gasps when he sees the beginning of the six-page article.

The first pages contain two amazing photos of Blaine with a different, more polished look altogether. Blaine’s hair has been cut short along the sides and back, but the top has been left long with luscious curls. Kurt loves the new hair style. There’s shimmery blue glitter both over and under Blaine’s eyes and it expertly fades into his upper cheek bones. There’s a strip of pink rouge on his cheeks that blends into his sideburns. Blaine’s full lips are coated with bright red shimmery lipstick. The photos are just head shots, but continue the butterfly wings theme. In the first photo, Blaine is wearing a pair of butterfly wings, and in the second photo, three butterflies flutter in front of his face. Blaine looks absolutely stunning. The article starts with setting out some background information about Blaine, but then it delves into what matters to him. Kurt thinks that the article is brilliantly laid out into themes, with corresponding photos. There’s a photo of Blaine playing the piano in his penthouse. The article goes on to describe how music is important in his life. The next photo is of Blaine running in Central Park, and the article describes how Blaine keeps fit and healthy. Kurt turns the page and sees a photo of the Monarch House, with teenagers and parents at a BBQ in the backyard. He looks closely to see if he can recognize anybody. He can make out Michael and… “Dad, you were in on this!” Burt laughs and checks out the photo. “That photo has turned out alright. Michael Anderson called me last Monday night and told me a little about the issue. I wanted to be a part of it, so I took Tuesday morning off,” Burt sheepishly replies. Kurt grimaces when he sees the photo of Blaine and Sebastian. It’s the exact same photo that he discovered in Blaine’s wallet in LA. His eyes quickly return to the article. Sebastian Smythe is the editor-in-chief of Elle magazine, our major competitor. Sebastian and I have known each other since high school and have always been rivals. It’s made me stay alert to potential problems and to take risks for new opportunities. It’s kept me on my toes and spurred me on to keep moving forward. Up until recently, I kept this photo in my wallet as a reminder that competition is essential to push yourself to succeed. Honestly, I admire Sebastian. He’s smart and a very savvy businessman. His recent donation to the Monarch Foundation only confirms that there is a compassionate side to him as well. Kurt feels horrible that he jumped to conclusions as to why Blaine kept that photo in his wallet. He knew there would be a perfectly good reason that didn’t include a bet about him. Blaine was very clever at working this into the article. Kurt laughs at the photo of Blaine in his Nightbird Outfit. He definitely wants to see Blaine in it in a more private setting. He reads the corresponding part of the interview carefully. Someone special recently reminded me how important bucket lists are. They can contain little things like exploring your neighborhood or trying something new. However, a really good bucket list also has your long-term hopes and dreams. Kurt thinks about his bucket list and can’t wait until they include hopes and dreams shared with Blaine. When Kurt turns the page, nothing has prepared him for the photo. It is simply Blaine’s lower arm and hand with the silicone rainbow bracelet stamped Love is love is love is love. Above all else, love is what matters to me. It’s the love of my family, who are very supportive. It has only been this year that I learned how important my father’s love is. Working with him to establish the Monarch House in Westerville has been an incredible experience. It has taught me that my roots really matter. It’s the love of my partner, someone I can truly be myself with. My love for him fills me with such joy and makes me feel as if I can do anything. But at the same time, it grounds me and keeps me safe and connected. Most importantly, he’s my best friend, and there is nothing better than a day spent together. The future? I very much believe in marriage and I want to spend every day of my life loving my future husband. I hope it will be full of love for our children and grandchildren. I will die a very happy man if I can achieve this sort of love. This is what really matters to me. Kurt puts down the magazine. Blaine has laid out each of his core values in this article. There are so many little things in the article that make it feel so personal to him. “I’m going to lie down in my room, Dad. I’ve got a lot to think about.” “Yes, I think you do. I’m going to head to the garage to make sure everything is okay. I’ll see you at lunchtime.” ***** “Are you sure dove gray will be a good color for the walls? It sounds dreary to me.” “It’s sophisticated, Dad. And it will go perfectly with the Ralph Lauren comforter set. I even have a 20% off coupon at Bed, Bath and Beyond. It won’t cost that much.” Burt checks his watch for the hundredth time since they started the project in the guest bedroom. When it’s 2:55 p.m., Burt stretches his arms over his head. “Okay, kiddo. You can order the comforter set. I’ll pick up the paint this week and we can decorate this weekend. What do you say we watch some TV?” “No, thanks, Dad. You know I hate watching ESPN.” “Come on, Kurt. I promise not to watch sports. Maybe a reality show or something like that?” “Really?” “I wanna spend as much time as possible with you before you run off to New York City again. I have a feeling that’s going to be sooner rather than later.” Kurt follows Burt down the stairs and into the living room. When Kurt picks up the TV remote, his dad snatches it out of his hands and sits in his comfortable reclining armchair. “I thought I could pick the show,” Kurt groans. “You can, but let me flick through the channels first.” Kurt sits down on the couch and picks up Vogue, staring at Blaine on the cover. Frankly, he couldn’t care less what they watch because he wants to read the article all over again. “Fancy that. The Ellen Show is on. Let’s watch it,” Burt suggests. Kurt quirks an eyebrow at his dad. “You like The Ellen Show?” “I don’t get to watch it ‘cause I’m always at the garage in the afternoons. I wanna see what it’s all about. I hear she has interesting guests.” Kurt shrugs. If his dad wants to watch The Ellen Show, he can. It doesn’t matter to Kurt. He continues to stare at the photo of Blaine on Vogue’s cover, wondering what his next move should be. He hears the audience clapping and Ellen’s voice doing the usual introduction. “… warm welcome for the one and only Blaine Anderson” Kurt looks up when he hears Blaine’s name and sees Blaine walking across the stage. “You knew about this too!” Kurt cries out, tossing a throw pillow at his dad. “I’ve set the DVR up. Now, shhh, let’s watch it.” Blaine is wearing black-and-white geometric sports jacket and matching trousers with a pink collared shirt, unbuttoned at the top. Not many men could pull off that look, but Blaine looks incredible in it. “Blaine, you look fantastic. Who are you wearing?” “Thank you, Ellen. I’m wearing Thom Browne. There are lots of amazing designs come through Vogue’s doors.” “I haven’t seen you since you became Vogue’s editor-in-chief. How’s that going?” Kurt listens to Blaine explain what has been going on at Vogue, but his mind is really focused on a key question. What the hell is Blaine Anderson doing on The Ellen Show on an ordinary Tuesday? Kurt tunes back in when Blaine stops talking about Vogue. “I hear that you might have found a new job.” When Blaine gives her a questioning look, the back screen lights up with Blaine’s photo on Vogue’s June cover. The audience gasps and is silent for a moment or two, before loud shrieks and applause can be heard. “Ladies and gentlemen… Blaine Anderson, the supermodel.” “I’m not sure about that. I won’t be giving up my day job any time soon. Modeling is hard work!” “So what made you do it? Why grace the cover of Vogue?” “Vogue’s April issue was about ‘pushing boundaries’. It made me wonder if I pushed the boundaries in my own life. I was recently in LA, just for a day, and I had an epiphany – a clear vision about what’s important in my life.” The photos from the Vogue issue fade in and out of the back screen. Blaine and Ellen talk through the highlights of the magazine article, with additional time spent on the Monarch Foundation. “I think we all want to know why you decided to make such a public statement.” “There are so many photos of me on social media and things written about me. 99% of it isn’t true.” “You mean you aren’t a man-eater who can have sex simultaneously in New York, London and Sydney? “No, and I don’t live in a castle either,” Blaine chuckles. The last photo of Blaine’s wrist with the rainbow bracelet appears on the screen. “So, love…” Ellen prompts. Blaine takes a sip of water before he continues. “Since I was a teenager, I’ve always known that love, a husband and a family are important to me. Being gay, I didn’t know how that would work out until marriage equality swept through all 50 states.” The studio audience applauds and loudly cheers, before allowing Blaine to continue. “It was during that special day in LA that I went from believing to knowing that love is the most important thing in my life. To have a husband, children – that would make me complete.” “That must have been one very special day.” “Yeah, it was,” Blaine shyly replies. “So, is there someone special in your life?” “Yes, there is a special man in my life. I’m not going to name him. Our relationship is still new and fragile, but I love him very much.” “I understand you have a song you want to perform.” Blaine nods his head. “After the break, we will be hearing a live performance from Blaine Anderson.” Kurt’s tears turn into sobs as the ads start. Burt walks over, sits on the couch and pulls Kurt in with one arm. “I just…” “I know, Kurt. Deep breaths.” When The Ellen Show returns, Blaine is on the stage sitting at a baby grand piano, with a small back-up band. The spotlight is on Blaine, and as he looks up, he says, “This one’s for you, boyfriend.” If I was a raindrop Would you be my thunder storm? It's cold so surround me With rain clouds to keep me warm I feel like I'm falling So darling, don't let me go The thought is appalling But should I slip away Into the stormy sea will you remember me? Kurt loves the song, its upbeat tempo, and Blaine’s rich tenor voice as he sings. The song’s lyrics are playful and hopeful, and give Kurt a warm feeling. Asleep in our warm cocoons We dream of lovely things We're both gonna wake up soon So we hope that tomorrow brings Us our butterfly wings Kurt laughs at the butterfly reference. Butterflies are really their thing. It had started with the first photo shoot where Kurt modeled for Vogue and then led to the beautiful brooch Blaine gave him for his birthday. When the song ends, Kurt can hear a thunder of applause from the audience. When Ellen introduces the next guest, Burt gets up and switches off the TV. He glances over at Kurt furiously tapping on his tablet. “6:36 a.m. tomorrow,” Burt remarks. Kurt looks up and gives his father a questioning look. “The next direct flight from Dayton to New York City is at 6:36 tomorrow morning. There are still seats left. I checked earlier.” “But… How did you know?” “Buddy, it’s been obvious since you arrived ten days ago. You may be in Lima, but your heart is firmly in New York City. After what Anderson did for you, I figured that you would want to go to him.” “Do you think I’m ready?” “The more important question is whether you think you’re ready,” Burt replies. “I’m not sure what I’m going to do with my life, but studying fashion is a step in the right direction to figure it out. One thing I know for sure is that in any version of my life that I dream about, Blaine is in it.” “So what are you waiting for? Don’t you have a phone call to make? Some packing to do? I’ll go book the flight.” ***** “Kurt…Hi,” Blaine says when he answers his phone. “I love you! I love you! I love you! That photo on Vogue’s cover is amazing. The article is amazing. The Ellen Show is amazing. The song is amazing. You’re amazing.” “It wasn’t too over the top?” “Of course it was, but that’s what I love about it. How did you organize things so fast? I only gave you the rainbow wristband ten days ago.” “Let’s just say that very few people at Vogue got any sleep last week,” Blaine chuckles. “But I would move heaven and earth if it meant that you would come to New York City to be with me.” “You’re the master of the cheesy lines.” “Do they work?” Blaine whispers. “I have only question for you, Blaine…” When Kurt hears Blaine breath hitch, he continues, “Will you pick me up at LaGuardia tomorrow morning?" Author notes Song at Blaine’s photo shoot – ‘What a Difference a Day Made’. There are many covers of this song but my favorite is by Jamie Cullum. Song Blaine sings on the Ellen Show – ‘Butterfly Wings’ by Owl City. Now you know how I picked the title for the story :) Next up: Kurt arrives in New York City. Heads up – there are only three more chapters and an epilogue to go.

#My fic : Butterfly Wings #HKVoyage writes #klaine fanfiction #klaine fanfic

29 notes · View notes

kennethherrerablog · 6 years

Text

Yes, You can Make Money Playing Video Games. Here Are 7 Ways to Do It

Frederick Aldeco was the youngest of three boys who loved to game.

Growing up, he and his brothers first fought over who could play the Nintendo, then the Super Nintendo, then the PlayStation — he could only play when his older brothers let him.

But then he got his own Game Boy. It came with Pokémon Yellow, and everything changed.

“I could play anytime I wanted to without them having an issue,” Aldeco said.

Nearly two decades later, Aldeco, 29, still loves Pokémon — so much so that he runs a Pokémon news channel on YouTube under the moniker DaddyGamer Fred.

Besides that, he’s done what most gamers dream of doing: Making money playing video games. While it’s not his full-time gig, Aldeco said his content has earned him up to $300 a week.

Over the years, gaming has become increasingly popular with almost all age groups. The Entertainment Software Association has tracked gamers with an annual survey since 1997, and its latest data show that 64% of households own regularly played gaming systems. Perhaps what’s more surprising is that association research shows the typical gamer may not be who you think. In the U.S., more women play video games than teenage boys.

And if you belong to this new wave of gamers, you’ve probably thought at some point, “There’s got to be a way to get paid for this.”

Turns out, there are plenty.

How to Make Money Playing Video Games

These recommendations require actually playing a video game to earn you cash. You may need some in-depth knowledge or skills for most of the following methods — but not all of them. So don’t worry if your gaming abilities aren’t esports-ready just yet.

1. Participate in Video Game Tournaments

The League of Legends World Championship is an esports tournament that can earn elite winners millions of dollars and millions of fans, but most gamers are not at that level and never will be.

Instead, opt for amateur tournaments to earn $5 or $10 per match. GamerSaloon is one video-gaming site where you can do just that. Anyone 18 years or older can create a free account and start joining tournaments. The more you win, the more you earn.

The website is open to gamers around the world, but the system is based on the U.S. dollar. All other currencies are accepted but will be converted automatically.

Popular games on the site include NBA 2k19, Fortnite, Call of Duty: Black Ops 4, UFC 3, FIFA 19 and others.

2. Become a Beta Tester

Millions of people now pay for video games before they are released by pre-ordering them.

Wouldn’t it be amazing if video game companies would pay you instead to play their video games before the release date?

Actually, that’s a thing.

Several companies pay people to beta test video games to collect feedback and work out the kinks before the mass market gets its hands on it.

For the lucky gamers who live near Redmond, Washington, Nintendo partners with two staffing agencies to beta test games on-site. Unfortunately, there are no remote testing options available.

For those living outside the area, there’s VMC Consulting, a tech company that specializes in quality assurance and support. It runs a Global Beta Test Network, which tests major multiplayer video games for consoles and PCs before their release. Applicants can live anywhere, must be at least 18 years old and must use Discord (a chat messaging system for gamers) to give feedback.

3. Start Streaming

No, not on Netflix. In the video-game world, streaming has a different meaning. It refers to a live feed of someone playing a video game. Streaming services allow the streamer to interact directly with the audience via a chatroom system. Viewers can also tip the streamer in real time.

There are several free streaming services to choose from, the most popular being Twitch.tv. You don’t have to be a pro to stream, either. You just have to be entertaining. One streamer, Cory Michael — aka King Gothalion — turned his streaming hobby into a six-figure salary.

Michael said the main three sources of income come from subscriptions, tips directly from your viewers and ad revenue.

Even if you don’t manage millions of subscribers, streaming could still get you tips here and there, and once your channel becomes more popular, you could land a paid partnership with the streaming service.

4. Create a Business on Second Life

Fifteen years later, Second Life is still kicking with about 750,000 monthly users.

Second Life is a video game that was slated to revolutionize the internet (before social media came along). But it’s hard to call Second Life a video game. It’s more than that.

There aren’t any overt objectives. No bosses to beat. No princesses to rescue. Instead, all of its content is user-generated, from the avatars themselves to the worlds they inhabit. In Second Life, people date, have children, build houses and travel to replicas of famous landmarks.

People spend years carving out a piece of digital paradise. Some hire real-life experts to help get it just right. In-game specialists can make bank, too. Architects, publishers and fashion designers have used their industry knowledge to bolster their virtual businesses. There’s even a journalist, Wagner James Au, who works inside Second Life and reports on in-game artists and entrepreneurs.

Second Life spawned the first video game business millionaire, Ailin Graef, and she’s not the only person to make a fortune with the game.

“There are multiple people and businesses that have made over a million U.S. dollars in Second Life over the years,” said Brett Atwood, Director of Marketing at Linden Labs, the company that created Second Life. “Many are still active.”

Since Second Life’s launch in 2003, players have spent billions of dollars of real money on in-game currency called Linden Dollars (or L$). The exchange rate currently is about 250 L$ to $1. Users can go to the Second Life exchange store to purchase L$, then use L$ for in-game services. The level of customization is incredibly granular, and users are eager to pay L$ for real-life experts to apply their knowledge to the virtual world.

Atwood said the big bucks are usually in virtual real estate and fashion.

For other business ideas and examples of Second Life entrepreneurs, check out its business site.

5. Coach Others in How to Play

Are you a Starcraft god? A Fortnite legend? Share your strategies with us noobs for cash.

You can teach beginners basic lingo or coach seasoned players on the latest competitive strategies. Some online tutoring websites, Superprof for example, are general tutoring platforms that happen to allow video-game listings.

However, there are some other options that are tailored specifically for gaming lessons. Gamer Sensei is one such platform that hires senseis, aka coaches, to teach lessons in specific games, including League of Legends, Counter-Strike, DOTA 2 and — of course — Fortnite.

Making a sensei profile is free. Senseis set their own schedules and prices and have no hourly time commitments.

Another option is Gameflip Gigs. Gameflip is a video game marketplace, where people can buy, sell and trade video games and related content.

The company recently launched Gigs, which is still in beta but is open for applications.

The gigs revolve around four types of services:

Create: Good at graphic design? You can craft the perfect avatar or graphic for a gamer’s profile or online store.

Entertain: If you’re hilarious, get paid for it by joining people’s in-game parties and having fun.

Coach: Teach others the way to victory.

Carry: Some people just like winning. You provide that service.

During the beta, Gigs members have a $1,000 limit on what they can earn.

Other Ways to Make Money With Video Games

Maybe you aren’t comfortable with turning your hobby into a job. You want to keep it sacred and fun. That’s all right, too. You can still make plenty of money with gigs related to video gaming that don’t require you to play them.

6. Sell Video Games for Cash

Do you blast through video games? Are you constantly in search of new ones to conquer? Then you should consider selling your used video games once you’re finished.

Your pile of old games can fund your next virtual adventure, get you some quick cash to make rent, or if you’re like Aldeco, help fund your move from the U.S. to Switzerland.

The Penny Hoarder’s guide walks you through the best technique to sell video games through GameStop and get up to 50% extra cash for your games. I turned a $72.40 cash offer for a few of my video games and a controller into $111.14.

If you’d rather not make the trek to GameStop, Gameflip allows users to buy and sell their video games and gift cards online.

That’s what Aldeco used to downsize before his move overseas. He sold off all his physical games and consoles but kept the handheld devices — his trusty Nintendo 3DS and PlayStation Vita.

Alternatively, you can sell games on eBay, but you may be stuck with a bunch of additional fees if you don’t meet the site’s minimum seller service standards.

7. Make Video Game Guides

Perhaps you’ve played a game for so long that you’ve discovered all the Easter eggs, all the glitches and all the best farming spots.

You can create guides to help people do the same, whether they’re articles or YouTube videos.

Stephen Robinson, better known by the moniker Ratty Star, creates YouTube guides for a post-apocalyptic role playing game, Fallout 76.

“I have had some success,” Robinson said, “with a few videos getting a few thousand views, with my highest currently at 63,000.”

Several major gaming publications accept freelance pitches for video game guides and commentary, too. So if you prefer writing to video editing, give IGN, Kotaku, Escapist Magazine, Game Informer and GamesRadar+ a shot.

If you’re not a seasoned freelancer, we have a guide that walks you through how to come up with story ideas, pitch to editors and ultimately make money as a freelance writer. In the meantime, you can build up your portfolio by writing for GameSkinny, which will pay you based on how many views your articles get.

Neither Robinson nor Aldeco is famous. They have about 2,500 followers between the two of them. Getting famous really isn’t the point.

“I’m doing it because I’m enjoying the creative process,” Aldeco said. “Whenever the money comes, of course it’s a plus, but [it’s] not truly the end goal for me.”

Adam Hardy is a staff writer on the Make Money team at The Penny Hoarder. He has played video games since he was 6 years old. Read his full bio here, or say hi on Twitter @hardyjournalism.

This was originally published on The Penny Hoarder, which helps millions of readers worldwide earn and save money by sharing unique job opportunities, personal stories, freebies and more. The Inc. 5000 ranked The Penny Hoarder as the fastest-growing private media company in the U.S. in 2017.

The Penny Hoarder Promise: We provide accurate, reliable information. Here’s why you can trust us and how we make money.

Yes, You can Make Money Playing Video Games. Here Are 7 Ways to Do It published first on https://justinbetreviews.tumblr.com/

0 notes

natakova15-blog · 6 years

Text

IndieView with A.M.H. Johnson, author of Midnight Over Moores

However, the idea started two or so days before the drive at my mom's birthday party as my sister and I shared stories of our boarding school experiences, and my dad shared stories about being a teenager on the island we vacation at, and my mom commented that “Someone needs to write a book!”

A.M.H. Johnson – 20 September 2018

The Back Flap

Jenna Sheffield is an average girl from Savannah, Georgia. However, this year her life is about to change. She's starting at a new, all-girls boarding school in the middle of high school. She's having to learn how to deal with a roommate who seems more inclined to torture her than be friends. And on top of all that, she learns she has inherited her family's ability to communicate with the dead, when the ghost of Christine Wedge starts to haunt her. All Christine wants is her body to be found, but this mystery is shrouded by 60 years of local legends and feuds. Can Jenna crack this cold-case, or will Christine drive her insane, or worse, kill her chances at getting into a good college?

About the book

What is the book about?

Midnight Over Moores follows Jenna Sheffield, a young girl from Savannah who goes to Maine for boarding school and finds out she can talk to the dead after a prank gone too far. She starts being haunted by a local ghost, Christine Wedge, a victim who disappeared 60 years before, and has become a local legend on Moores Island.

When did you start writing the book?

Officially, I started writing it in early June 2011, coming back from a family vacation up in Maine driving back to Georgia. However, the idea started two or so days before the drive at my mom's birthday party as my sister and I shared stories of our boarding school experiences, and my dad shared stories about being a teenager on the island we vacation at, and my mom commented that “Someone needs to write a book!” I agreed then, but that 23 hour drive a few days later gave me enough time to hammer out the plot details and bounce ideas off my dad, and get the first two chapters written.

How long did it take you to write it?

Three years, but that was due to being in school at the time and not having a solid schedule and crazy homework. The summer I started writing it, I cranked half the book out in a month and a half once I returned to Maine later that Summer. Once I graduated, it took a me a few months to finish it.

Where did you get the idea from?

At my Mom's birthday party, after the whole group had a couple drinks, my dad, my sister and I got to talking about our teenage experiences. My sister and I were talking about going to our boarding school and all the shenanigans we'd get into. My dad, who was surrounded by many of his childhood friends at this party talking about their shared high school summers and all the shenanigans they got into. And by the end of it, we were all laughing so hard we were crying, and my mom said, “Someone needs to write a book!”

Were there any parts of the book where you struggled?

There were many places I struggled, but one of them has a funny story with it. My writing had started to go through an evolution at the time, because I'd started taking Creative Writing classes at my university, and some of the chapters I'd previously written when reread were very very rough. At the time, I was dating the man who would later become my husband, another English/Writing major who had already published a few short stories. I asked him to look at my roughest chapter. When he returned it, he had circled every “smiled” and “nodded” I'd written in, and it was truly too much. I promptly went home and rewrote it, and sent him a message once I did. His response was a gif of Jack Nicholson nodding and smiling like a madman “In memory of my unedited chapter.”

What came easily?

Most of the scenes in Limbo (at least that's what I call it. Purgatory and the Spirit World also works). The drama in those scenes are a lot more palpable, and most of them came out good the first time. And a good portion of the scenes with Jenna and Nate.

Are your characters entirely fictitious or have you borrowed from real world people you know?

They're kind of both. Jenna isn't anyone I know in particular, but some of her experiences are built off of experiences I've had and my family and friends have had, with a twist. Same with all of my characters, except maybe one or two side characters. Although, I did throw a character based off my high school self in. But I've even changed her from being 100% like me.

We all know how important it is for writers to read. Are there any particular authors that have influenced how you write and, if so, how have they influenced you?

J.K. Rowling and John Berendt are obvious influencers as they and their works are mentioned in the book. Rowling because Harry Potter was a big part of my teenage years as well as many of my friends, and everyone going to my boarding school noted striking similarities between our school and Hogwarts. We had four main dorms with the same colors as the houses (Yellow dorm and Green dorm were on the lowest level, Yellow closest to the kitchens. Red dorm and Blue dorm were upstairs, and even had loft dorm rooms, if you think I'm kidding). Even many of our teachers had direct parallels to the Hogwarts professors that many of the students agreed with (Yes, we had a Snape, and he was one of the best English teachers I ever took. We also had an annually changing faculty member, although I'm 98% certain a curse was not involved). The only big difference was Hogwarts was not All-Girls. So, to not even mildly reference it just wouldn't give my high school experience justice.

Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil was where I got the idea for my book's title. Doing research on Savannah (I also didn't live far from there at the time), I was told this book was required reading.

I'd also add Richelle Mead, Kelly Creagh, Edgar Allen Poe, and Stephen King (especially later in the series).

Do you have a target reader?

It's a solid Young Adult novel, but it's a book horror buffs and murder mystery readers will enjoy as well. It has modern Paranormal Romance written all over it, however its plot is steeped with Classical Gothic tropes and modern horror and mystery themes. It's a mystery surrounded by ghosts, demons, magic, and young love.

About Writing

Do you have a writing process? If so can you please describe it?

Not really. I always have fun writing, so when I can, I do.

Do you outline? If so, do you do so extensively or just chapter headings and a couple of sentences?

I used to only do a skeletal outline, like 2-3 pages noting the whole plot and background. I still do that now, but I've added preformatting each chapter and adding a chapter summary, so I know what goes where when I've written excerpts, which saves me a lot of time now.

Do you edit as you go or wait until you've finished?

Primarily, I edit as I go. Then once it's done, I do another final edit based on my own notes as well as my beta readers' notes.

Did you hire a professional editor?

I do not, but this is because I have almost 5-years-experience in editing in some capacity. For a year (and even now) I proofread/line-edit for the company I work for, and the last four years I was moved up to Document Specialist, which added formatting/copyediting to my proofreading duties.

That also doesn't mean I'm the only person with editing experience looking at my writing before publication. My husband, who took the same editing courses as I have for our degree, takes a look before it's sent out. My mother, who also had a job proofing/line-editing documents for a company for almost ten years, takes a look as well. Not to mention several others who may not have professional/educated experience like my husband and mom, but who I trust to give me sound advice on readability.

However, I would suggest to most authors to get an editor.

Do you listen to music while you write? If yes, what gets the fingers tapping?

Absolutely. If I'm not listening to music while writing, the music is definitely blaring when I'm conceptualizing each scene, so when I write it down later I've seen the scene over and over and over again.

As for my tastes … they're kind of all over the place. Usually some metal/modern rock is in there as well as classical (Beethoven is great!), pop, hip hop, early 2000's/'90s soft rock, classic rock, and even 2000s emo/punk rock (which was my jam then, not going to lie), to even Disney and Broadway soundtracks. I think the important thing for a song to help me write a scene is the message/emotion of the song has to fit in a place in my writing. So, I listen to different types of songs for different scenes. For example, if I'm writing a bombastic fight scene, 'O Fortuna' or The Hunchback of Notre Dame's 'Sanctuary' are both great. If the scene is more of a mellow internal struggle about love, I'm sifting through my early 2000's soft rock ballads.

About Publishing

Did you submit your work to Agents?

Yes. I can't even remember how many, but after the first several “We're too busy at the moment,” rejections, I started really looking into self-publishing.

What made you decide to go Indie, whether self-publishing or with an indie publisher? Was it a particular event or a gradual process?

It was gradual, but I always had an idea I might go that way anyway. I'm a little too controlling of my book, and how it was supposed to look, cover design, everything. As far as waiting for an agent to pick it up, I'm just not a patient person. Starting out, I figured I could go ahead and self-publish, then be taken on by a major publisher, but I found that doesn't usually happen. So unwittingly, I plunged head first into Indie communities, and the people there gave me invaluable information that led me to want to set up my own indie publisher, which is what Midnight Over Moores is now being published under.

Did you get your book cover professionally done or did you do it yourself?

Yes, for both the old cover when I first self-published and the new. But again, it was because I'm very controlling of how my book is to look. Each design detail I made had a specific reason behind it. I changed from the old cover, because I realized with it being a series the first cover I designed wouldn't work for branding reasons. The second book's cover in no way was going to look like the original cover, which is crucial with series works. So, I redesigned it with the rest of the series covers in mind.

Do you have a marketing plan for the book or are you just winging it?

The first time I published it, I just winged it, which after a month of selling 30 copies I realized was a big no no. I just unleashed it on the world, told my friends and family, some of who bought it and shared it. After a few months of putting those Amazon sales on it, and getting a few reviews, all of which were positive, but not seeing anything in return, I started asking myself, “What am I missing?” One of which was editorial reviews, which is obvious, but at the same time trying to find editorial reviewers that didn't cost an arm and a leg was difficult. Amazon suggests Kirkus, which is too expensive for people paying out of pocket. Eventually I did find some that were budget friendly, and that my book applied for, but by then it was too late.

So, what am I doing different now? I've submitted it to a couple book awards, which so far it's doing pretty well, but it's still early. One of the big things is I've switched my main distributor to Ingram, which opens up a lot more doors. I've submitted for reviews and have already begun using those in my marketing. I've posted about my book on more than just Facebook, since I now have an author twitter, Instagram, Foodreads, Facebook, Linkedin … you name it, I've posted about my book's re-release on there.

Any advice that you would like to give to other newbies considering becoming Indie authors?

Give yourself ample time and budget to market your book. I've learned over the last couple years marketing is an investment that more often than not pays in some way.

Another thing a successful indie author told me was to write and publish as much as you can. It builds your name, which builds your brand.

About You

Where did you grow up?

I'm from all over the East Coast. Born in Newburyport, Mass., mostly grew up in the foothills of the Appalachians in Virginia just outside of DC, and went to school in Pennsylvania in the middle of Amish country. But Acadia National Park in Maine is probably the most constant location in my life.

Where do you live now?

I live just outside of Atlanta, Ga. with my husband, daughter, and two dogs (both rescues).

End of Interview:

For more from Ms Johnson, visit her website, follow her on Twitter and like her Facebook page.

Get your copy of Midnight Over Moores from Amazon US or Amazon UK.

0 notes

spencerscottieboyd-blog · 7 years

Text

World Of Warships Hack

Fights at the time of sunsets are bathed in amber light-weight and long shadows, more or less so that it is too much to not be despondent through the surroundings. Unfortunately, this really is increased exasperating than exp cheat-splitting. This isn't what you want to arise throughout an intense firefight. Realm of Tanks is mostly a world wide sensation, and it is financial success has converted into an important genre of sorts: the World War Ii truck shooter. Within the archipelagos from the South Away-shore as well as the glacier career fields of Alaska, the vessels of World Of Warships Hacks duke it. Wargaming stays a dab palms at creating control buttons that rotate an lavish war model into an easily accessible, keyboard-oriented truck. I procured precisely the same sensation of full satisfaction, even if it performed obtain about 5 minutes to fully participate in. (I’ve attempt to subdue that a portion of my head with booze, but alas, it stays.) With firearms positioned all lessen your physical body among the cruise ship, facing broadside to find an enemy is definitely the most effective process to unload on some unhealthy sucker. Furthermore, as motorboats can't pivot rapidly, it takes delightful intuition to pull off. “Sky and Clouds Quality” and “Sea Offering Quality” would feel like esoteric adjustments for minutia in virtually any other exp cheat, at the same time in Warships 1 / 2 of exactly what the exp cheat renders is drinking water or heavens. Providers are commanded out of your expense access simply because the trip outdoor patio supervisor, obtaining air flights of torpedo motorboats to address enemy battleships or delivering fighters to intercept enemy bombers. Shopping around decreased within the service provider aquiring a zoomed-out video camera omits everything I actually have to figure out, so my service provider feel was exhausted more or less absolutely within strategic guide display. Numerous cruise ship can be found in many different tiers which represents the advances modern advances exposed to these war pieces of equipment. There is not any doubt that main-wrap up vessels are loony a good time to enjoy. These vessels are really expensive, and actively playing within a biggest tier will try eating time and money. pay money for every vessels was needed to feel simply because the Midway-and so the Midway herself-I’d have a need to devote about $177 all round. The USS Langley rsquo s charming biplanes are poor and weak at the same time their torpedo breach isn rsquo t messing throughout Researching every United states service provider branch costs over 700,000 XP, that we all appraisal would obtain me anywhere between 1,500 and several,000 tools-an extremely interminable grind. be possessed for $90 annually or $11 per month. To turn into reasonable, you ought to do get lots of vessels fairly dramatically. Arena of Warships remains in beta, so programmers living with an active, and focused online community, will expectantly metal the kinks long before The sun rays consequences and streaming clouds Ships have well-defined detail, in which the fire extinguisher looks like it had been conscientiously modeled. deterioration. From my opinion type tune As is without question projected from the War exp cheat, there's an expansive computer plant, with Airplane carriers, Battleships, Cruisers, and Destroyers ready to accept travel. positively multitask by commanding many different squads of airplane, alongside assuring you keep the service provider from the gain of enemy vessels. Almost all of the incredible maps are dotted with island destinations small and giant, delivering plenty Cruisers tend to participate in a encouraging job, as imposing battleships fall under brand within returning the place where they are able to The primary minute something like are often wrought with silence and expectation although you look for your situation, slowly but surely viewing the horizon for virtually every manifestation among the enemy fleet. Perishing within the battleground means that you can positively submit spectator function, but the truth is could resume slot. Even all through the most strategically minded combats, spontaneity can go on to appear, leading to your hot demise or possibly a instant of triumph. the other cruiser as soon as we slid by, each and every transferring reverse guidelines, I set up my torpedo launchers and--as being a stop from pirate lore--fired, spinning my foe straight into a smoldering wreck. The amount of fluctuations and adjustments you can actually accomplish could be challenging. Having to spend credits and xp obtained by concluding games and objectives means that you can positively open new vessels. The game comprises premium posts, for those who are happy to devote somewhat capital for numerous personal bonuses and boosters. . |The tranquil market place, the lateral litheness, the contagious confidence… viewing him fillet really last week’s Woodsy Allen collage compelled me directly to the Leipzig Metropole as well as the significant the hot months use of ’78. |exp cheat machine Wargaming’s armed service triumvirate is nearly entire. |Good-noted for Realm of Tanks and Realm of Warplanes, Wargaming’s thirdly MMO title, World Of Warships Hacks, has as a final point went into beta. |These 3 tools are authentic within esports kingdom, ditching dream and sci-fi versions to get a credible war } }|A minumum of merely one of persons game players (and routine Routine Us dot contributor), Thomas Watts, is a big naval buff, aquiring a education directed at naval the historical past within a University of Alabama underneath historians Doctor. If there's a destroyer just about anywhere near to your cruise ship, rotate away from, and free up hell inside it.In . Unfortunately, this really is conscientiously nicely balanced while using game’s resist, which often can dramatically devolve straight into a chaotic murderfest. “Seeing a entire faction, and enabling athletes continue to min/max, or look for any thing they like most helpful, delivers the exp cheat a correct preferences. |Wargaming.net’s MMOPG opportunity style is a lot like the existing Franklin Mint Civil War chess put: purchase the table accompanied by a some products at low cost but invest some huge cash all through the put. These cities are often embellished with routine and getaway versions guaranteed by way of the ideal temperature consequences. A zoomed-in omni-directional access monitors When carriers can be obtained, airplane make their goes amongst hard storms of AA fire. decreased the quit personal computer mouse icon accompanied by a completely full broadside that has a 2x click through. |The science Appeared, athletes have a need to evaluation if you should follow the ones from oriented eco-oriented vessels, bill onward or travel combined island destinations to ambush enemies. long run aids plunging fire on Armour piercing shells results in huge inflict damage on if transmitting is attained if not the enemy is actually damaged. Game enthusiasts is capable of doing 19 stands with new skills and perks with each and every single boost. Certainly, Cell phone Affect will often have grow to become Arnold |Schwarzenegger, but World Of Warships Hacks has Seagal… to get a calendar month . Wargaming.cyberspace also posts Realm of Tanks and Realm of Warplanes. When athletes obtain a ricochet, over-transmitting (in fact), and many more, the game will assure to tell them, accompanied by a new genuine-time inflict damage on resist even enables athletes track their symptoms increased perfectly. Definitely, JetCat are enjoying Gaijin’s excellent War Thunder and eyeing Wargaming.net’s Cyprus-obscuring capital heap. towering computer trees and shrubs about the guano-streaked roosts of sleeker, increased modern day whirlybirds. |Getting exhausted a significant portion of the preceding weeks time on anachronistic WW2 battlefields looking to basin USN dreadnoughts with USN dreadnoughts, the dev’s devotion to uninational clubs and theatre-ideal journey picks also earns them Flare Track sparkle guidelines. There is not any referrals to editor compatibility within capabilities, for that reason it feels like North Inferno purchasers will not have the capacity to The primary BB ready to accept US computer plant scalers, its given talents consist of the ability to… Shield oriented vessels from shoals of incoming tin seafood. But, as being a nugget-obsessed 49er, I persevere, heading out every day with the hope of witnessing the glint of rare metal.

0 notes

emmaswanchoosesyou · 7 years

Text

CSBB: Part of the Narrative (12/17)

Rated E. Includes sexual content, kidnapping, some gore, mild violence, and minor character death–not to mention salty language! On Ao3 here.

Chapter warnings: Confrontations, one main character striking another, lots of swearing, and a thing at the end

Buckle up, pals, shit’s getting real! Thank you so much to all of you who have been reading and commenting and waiting for things to get here, and to all of you who helped me get here. Thank you to all the wonderful ladies at @captainswanbigbang for all you’ve done to make this possible, and all the support you’ve given. Sophie @shady-swan-jones made the delightful banner and another photoset that I adore. Kayla @bleebug did some incredible art for the first and sixth chapters, which you can check out here and here. And all the love and thanks to Kris @sambethe for beta-ing this and making it a ton better. Like seriously, she’s the best.

[Ch. 1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9] [10] [11]

Chapter 12

Emma grapples with Killian's betrayal. She gets a lot of writing done, and she and Henry talk on the phone every day, but something is missing. They're on their way to reforging their broken relationship when the unthinkable happens.

Emma, a few days before upon discovering Killian’s and August’s involvement

Emma couldn’t remember the last time she’d been so livid. She was furious, so angry she was red and almost crackling with it.

Cleo held her back, tried to keep her from rushing right over to Killian's and punching him in the face. And then going to August and punching him twice. "Emma, think about it. Be smart, and don't let your anger get the best of you."

"Oh, they'll get the best of me. The best of my right hook," she growled, settling back into her couch.

Cleo snorted but shook her head. "Do you have any alcohol in here?"

She nodded. "Yeah. Let me get us some," she said, reaching for the whiskey and pouring generous portions for the two of them.

"After this...do you want me to give you a lift anywhere? Or do you want to talk about it?"

Grimacing, she shook her head. "No offense, Cleo, but the last thing I want to do is talk about my feelings right now."

"Understood."

&&&

Cleo left after an hour or so, during which time they polished off their drinks in near-silence, broken only infrequently when Emma had a question or Cleo remembered something pertinent.

Mindful of the alcohol she had consumed, Emma called a cab over to Killian's. She was still in a rage, still shaking, but she needed to talk, to yell, to see if he had any defense at all.

She pounded at the door. When Killian opened it with a smile and the tantalizing scent of pasta reached her nose, her resolve weakened for a second. Until he opened his mouth like nothing had happened, like he hadn't been lying to her for at least two months--

Her vision went red, and she slapped him. She felt a pang of guilt at that, but wrapped her anger around her like armor.

Killian implored her to stop, asking her what had happened, and the concern on his face made her even angrier. How dare he get to act like he hadn't done anything, like she was being irrational...

She stepped out of range of his grasp, not wanting his touch to weaken her, to tempt her to put this behind them. Emma waited until he closed the door before gritting out, "You were spying on me? What the hell, Killian? For August? What the actual fuck?"

She watched the color drain from his face, watched the guilt fall onto his shoulders and weigh him down. Mixed with the satisfaction of being right was the sharp sting of betrayal, the hurt of her trust in him being broken .

"I--wha--how did you find out?" Killian asked.

That now all-too-familiar rage settled about her again. "That's really what you want to know? How I found out?"

Killian reached for her again, and she pushed his hand away. Not forcefully, but she was still far too angry for the comfort of his arms.

He sighed. "I suppose that's not what matters now. I am sorry, though, I want you to know. I quit, I told August before our first date that I wouldn't continue to spy on you."

"Just...why? Why would you do that? Betray my trust like that?" Her voice broke, and this time her anger was for herself, for showing that he'd gotten under her skin.

To her shame, she felt tears welling up, and she pushed them away as he continued to speak. "I stopped early on. I--I didn't count on you, Emma. You should know that. You swept through my life. You captivated me, mind, soul, and heart. I wouldn't--I can't begin to convey how sorry I am, but I also promise that I'd never hurt you or betray you again."

She drew in a deep breath, his declaration overwhelming her. It was like a punch to the gut, and she knew what she had to do. She could feel her heart breaking. She hadn't meant to get so attached so quickly, but--well, she didn't have a choice about it now, not if she wanted to remain true to herself, to do what was best for her. "Too late," she said. "I--I can't trust you anymore. You lied to me, and that--that's it for me."

He pleaded with her, and she tried to pull herself together as she assured Killian they'd still be able to work together as professionals.

As soon as she was done talking, Emma felt exhaustion creep over her, leaving her more emotionally drained than she'd been in years. She felt like someone had put her through the pasta machine sitting on Killian's counter, and she needed to leave. Now.

"Goodbye," she whispered, trying not to think about the devastated look on his face, or that she was leaving half her heart there with him.

&&&

The next week passed in a sort of fog, nestled between generous servings of ice cream and deliveries from Granny's. ("No, this isn't a thing we do for most customers," said Ruby, "but you're family so you get the onion rings with less effort and only a little colder than they'd be in the diner.")

Emma missed Killian more than she could have possibly imagined. She had been falling for him, that much was obvious. But beyond that, she hadn't realized how much of a friend he'd become. Somehow, he'd become the person she texted with weird things from her day or the bizarre writing thoughts she had. And she missed Killian texting her encouragement or pictures of cute animals. Or his thoughts about prominent literary figures and what kind of pajamas they probably wore.

At least she had Henry. Regina seemed to have found out that something had happened between her and Killian, and seemed more tolerant of the increasing frequency of calls between her and Henry. Finally, she even relented and consented to Henry spending a weekend with Emma.

She embraced the joy of having something positive to plan. There was relief too, that his visit in two weeks would keep her from moping. It wasn't a distraction, per se--how could her son ever be a distraction--but it kept her busy.

Emma was keen to introduce Henry to all her favorite Boston haunts, all the ones he'd be allowed into, that is. Until one day when she was talking about yet another thing she wanted to do, just one more museum she wanted to pack into his visit--

"Emma--Mom--you know I'll be just as happy if we don't do anything, right? Like, we can just watch movies and read comics and hang out. There'll be other weekends," Henry told her.

She let out a sigh of relief even as she felt a pang of disappointment. "Okay, kid. We can do that. Is Mario Kart still a thing, or...?"

He laughed, but they agreed, and she smiled, thinking about all that the weekend would bring.

Cleo was a big help, too. She invited Emma over for dinner with her husband and daughter, and she gratefully accepted, even if she did worry that it would be a little awkward.

It wasn't until she got an official email from Mills & Booth talking about the possibility of Killian being sent back to the UK--deported, and the necessity of having a meeting about the situation, that she really started to grapple with the new reality of her life and how awkward it could be. She had actually gotten some writing done during the week, and had sent it to Killian. Her tone had been professional, and she'd done her best to keep any sort of emotions out of the two emails she sent him. But it was her dinner at the Foxes' that brought things into focus. The meal had been pleasant enough, but it was obvious to all of them that Cleo had a lot on her mind.

Finally, during dessert, Cleo blurted out, "It's Killian. Apparently he's being deported. Immigration seems to have suddenly and 'randomly' found some mistakes in his paperwork."

Emma paled, her stomach dropping out from under her.

Just...no.

She might not be able to handle having Killian in her life romantically anymore, but the idea of him being gone, across the ocean? Forever? It was unthinkable.

She was barely aware of responding, but judging by the concern on Cleo's and Alex's faces, she had managed to say something. Then, bless her, Cleo told her that she was dragging her along to the meeting they were going to have about it at Mills & Booth.

&&&

She was distracted when he came into the room, too wrapped up in worry that Killian might leave permanently to actually notice him coming into the room. It wasn’t until he joined them on the couch that Emma started in surprise, but quickly schooled her features into something more neutral. She held her breath, waiting to see how the meeting, and Killian’s future here, might unfold.

Killian greeted the room awkwardly, and Regina was all business as they began. Cleo looked wary, and August had that punchable, smug look on his face. Though that faded as soon as Regina mentioned that a stay had been granted on Killian’s deportation.

Emma let out a sigh of relief and looked up, surprised. She hadn’t had a clue that Regina or Cleo were on top of this, at least not beyond knowing about it. She zoned out, only coming back when she heard August speaking. "First, I think we should really take a look at why Killian is here, and what he brings to the table. It might be easier to help you find a job back in the UK and just go with an American editor, or at least someone whose papers are in order."

"No!" Emma exclaimed, and everyone turned to look at her, with varying degrees of surprise on their faces

Killian’s face was a study in gratitude, and she had to look away. Instead, she stared August down. "No. Killian isn't replaceable. He's been a great editor, and his help and input have been invaluable. Changing editors at this juncture would have a very negative effect on the quality of my book, which I think we can all agree would be a bad thing."

"Are you sure you're not allowing your personal attachments to cloud your judgment, Miss Swan?" Regina asked.

"I am," she said, managing to keep her voice even as her heart twisted, "given that we've ended our personal association."

It was only then that she realized that maybe Regina hadn’t known before, if her raised eyebrow was any indication, but she seemed to like Emma more for defending Killian given their situation. Her expression warmed, sympathy glinting in her eyes. "Very well. So we can all agree that Mr. Jones is important for this novel--"

"--but we need to figure out whether his work on other projects is up to par. Otherwise, why bother with anything other than telecommuting?" August intejected.

Emma rolled her eyes so hard it hurt.

She clearly wasn’t the only one annoyed, since Regina’s scathing reply had him blushing. He recovered quickly, though. "I'm just trying to do what's best for Mills & Booth, and that includes maintaining a team that can work smoothly together. Is that really happening?"

"Yes," Emma said fiercely. It might not be entirely accurate at the moment, but she and Killian would get there. Hopefully.

But August didn’t look quelled, even through the subsequent exchanges. The reason for that became abundantly clear when the door burst open and Cora Mills strode in, poor Ariel trailing behind and desperately trying to stop her.

Cora Mills--Regina’s mother and the founder of Royal Hearts Publishing--was here. Regina didn’t look thrilled, but then, the feud between them--apparently related to Regina’s less-than-advantageous marriage--was well known in their circles. No one did, except perhaps for August.

The silence in the room stretched on before Cora finally broke it. "Hello, Regina. Your office is lovely, even if this is quite the collection of...professionals in it. Between the one in trouble with Immigration, the glorified beat cop, and the felon, I'm actually impressed Mills & Booth hasn't imploded already."

Emma felt her cheeks heat and rage pulse through her veins at the dig on her and the people she cared for. She leapt up from the couch, ready to fucking tackle Cora. Killian held her back, and Cora smirked. "I'd expect nothing less from an orphan of unknown parentage with a rap sheet.”

When Killian let her go so they could both fight her, Cleo was the only thing holding them back.

Then Regina spoke from where she’d made her way to the center of the room to stand in front of Cora. "Mother, what do you want? Or did you just come here to insult me and mine?"

"No, I came here with a proposition. Regina--and August, you both know very well I have plenty of contacts that could help fix Mr. Jones' little tiff with the authorities. And I'd gladly help promote Miss Swan's nove, if that's something you think is a worth cause," she said.

"But what do get out of it? I've never known you to do a damn thing for free," Regina said, looking more peeved than intrigued.

Cora replied, "I don't want anything but time with you, Regina. I've loathed being so cut off from my only child."

"How sentimental of you, and it might be more believable if I hadn't just seen a plan Mr. Booth drew up granting you shares in Mills & Booth."

Emma gasped and so did Killian, both of them shocked by this revelation.

Cora briefly tried to defend herself, but Regina told her to leave, clearly unconvinced by her mother’s motives. "Get out," she said. "And if you would kindly refrain from insulting my colleagues or bullying my assistant while you're on your way out, I'd appreciate it."

As soon as she left, they were quiet for a moment until Regina affirmed their commitment to getting Killian out of his immigration situation. They all nodded, except for August, who wasn’t meeting the glare Regina directed at him with one of his own.

They all left the room, one by one, not speaking to each other. Emma was aghast, floored at the entire meeting, but especially at the revelation that August was causing even more trouble than she’d realized.

&&&

Muttering to herself, she read from her screen. “Jacob looked from one side to the other, frantically trying to clear his head. But if his foster mother wasn’t responsible for taking him away… who was?”

Emma looked up from her laptop and pushed her glasses back up the bridge of her nose. She reached for the coffee mug sitting on the side table as she pondered her next move. She had realized, much to her chagrin, that her original plan for the antagonist wasn’t as well-developed as she would have liked. It couldn’t be the foster mother--after developing the character, she just knew it wouldn’t work.

The leather of her chair creaked as she shifted, brow furrowed in thought. She had to think of something, but she was just so… stuck. Writer’s block was the worst.

She was interrupted from her “research,” which totally wasn’t going to be her perusing the Crate & Barrel website for hours, by a knock on her door. Puzzled by who it could be, she went to answer it. Through the peephole, she saw a deliveryman standing there with a bouquet.

“Emma Swan?” he asked as she opened the door.

“Uh, yeah,” she replied, gobsmacked by the arrangement of lilies and peonies that he hurriedly deposited in her arms before scurrying away. “Thanks, I guess?”

She took it inside and pried open the accompanying note.

Dearest Emma,

I cannot thank you enough for your supportive words during that hellish meeting. I know you're not particularly fond of me at present, and I don't blame you for that, but words cannot express how grateful I am that you stood up for me and my job.

I don't know what August's game or plan is, or how you want to handle it, but I'd like you to know that from here on out I am 100% on board with whatever you would like to do. If you decide you don't want to act, that's fine. If you decide you want to look into August's behaviour and reasons for spying on you, you need only ask and I'll assist you.

I owe you, and not just for sticking your neck out for my job and our partnership. I owe you for being the kind of woman who inspired me to step away from people like August, for being the kind of woman to remind me of what there is to live for. And whatever else I might be, I like to think I am at least a man of my word.

This isn't to make you uncomfortable, and if it does so, feel free to chuck this letter and the flowers. I made sure I had them sent to your home, since I wouldn't want there to be another floral mix-up like the one I heard about with Ariel a few years ago.

Thank you again, Emma.

Yours,

Killian Jones

Emma stared down at the letter, her eyes burning with unshed tears. One fell onto the page, blurring his signature. He had clearly written the note himself, and she was full of conflicting emotions.

On one hand, she wasn't afraid to admit it--she was still more than a little angry. But that anger was fading a little more each day as she realized the ways Killian had been manipulated into his actions. He still should have told her, but it was getting harder to hold onto her anger.

She wiped at the tear that had tracked down her face, once again noting how much she missed him. His silliness, his easy affection, the flowery speech…life was a little bit dimmer without all of it. She snorted as she read the last paragraph, the reference to her fiery reaction to Ariel's bouquet, one that she'd thought was hers, amusing her. Of course someone had told him about that.

Honestly, Emma wasn't sure she was quite ready to bring him back into her life. At least, not fully. She had a lot of other things going on, between the book, Henry, and now the August situation. But she could reply to him, lessen the tension between them.

She could at the very least do better than ignoring his gift and his note. Walking over to her sink, she reached in the cupboard for the vase she knew was up there gathering dust. She filled it with water and placed the bouquet on her kitchen table, smiling as she opened her email client to reply to him.

Hey, Killian--

Thank you so much for the flowers, they’re lovely. Peonies have always been a favorite of mine.

I’m not sure yet what I want to do about the August situation.Thanks for offering your help with whatever I decide.

I’ll be honest, I’m not ready to let bygones be bygones yet. Though I do miss talking to you and having you around. But I… well, I’m still not ready. Maybe I will be soon, though. Just give me some more time to work through stuff.

I do have some questions about my story. I think I’m kind of stuck, and I’m wondering how to proceed. I think I might have gotten onto the wrong track with my original antagonist, and I don’t know how to resolve it. Do you have any thoughts? (I’ll send you what I have, don’t worry.)

Thanks again for the flowers.

Emma

She thought about the rather abrupt ending to her note, but grimaced and hit send before she had a chance to overthink it. Drawing in a deep breath, she got up, more at ease and ready to work on completing Jacob’s story.

&&&

“Whoa, kid, slow down,” Emma said, laughing as Henry dragged her out of The Garden, chattering a mile a minute. It was Saturday, and he'd been with her for a little over a day at this point, and it had been one of the greatest days in her recent memory.

"But it was so cool! That final goal..." Henry said excitedly, jumping up and down as they made their way to the Bug.

She wrapped an arm around his shoulder, an affection stronger than anything she'd ever known rising in her as she pulled him close.

He grinned up at her. "So, grilled cheese? At that place where your friend Ruby works?"

"You've got it. And it's going to be the best grilled cheese you've ever had."

"Will there be hot cocoa?" Henry looked up expectantly.

Emma smiled back down at him. "Of course! Where do you think I first had it?"

They pulled up to the diner and slid into Emma's favorite booth. Belle nodded across the counter in greeting. "The usual, Emma?"

"Yep! And an extra for Henry here."

They unbundled, taking off their scarves and coats as they settled in. Ruby bounded out, her enthusiasm apparent in her every step.

"Hey! I've heard so much about you, Henry. I'm Ruby, one of Emma's oldest friends," she said.

"Indeed she is." Emma laughed. "And that lovely lady bringing us cocoa is Ruby's wife, Belle."

"Everything smells so good," he said. Wonder lit his face, and his eyes were wide as he took in his surroundings.

She smiled at him. "I don't think you'll be disappointed."

They chatted while they ate their food, Ruby and Belle joining them as they could. Henry agreed that the grilled cheese was excellent, but that he needed more samples for comparison's sake.

They were walking back into Emma's apartment when Henry asked her, "So where's Killian? You haven't said anything about him the whole time I've been here., He seemed cool, and you seemed like you liked each other. My mom even said you went to a meeting for him or something."

Emma stared down at him, bemused. "Did she now?"

"Yup. And no avoiding the question."

"Jeez, some people are determined."

He just looked up at her expectantly.

"Okay, fine. Um, yeah. We're not seeing each other anymore. No hard feelings, it just didn't work out," she said. And she meant it. Ever since she'd received the bouquet from him and replied, they'd resumed a tentative friendship. He sent her jokes he thought she’d find funny or the occasional small bouquet. She'd replied with thanks and funny stories of her own, and she knew her anger was gone a few days before, when she'd been walking to work. She had passed a little antique shop she'd walked past a million times before, but this time, she saw an old ship in a bottle in the window.

It had immediately made her think of Killian. She'd gone in and bought it without a second thought. Emma still hadn't given it to him, and she wasn't sure when she would, but she knew it meant the worst of her anger was over. She wasn't ready to get back together or to throw herself into his arms or anything like tha, but she wanted him back in her life.

Shaking her head, Emma pulled herself out of her reminiscing. "So… yeah. He's great. And I think we're friends again, maybe, but that's it."

Henry look at her dubiously, clearly doubting her protestations.

She shrugged. "That's just how it goes sometimes, kid."

She couldn't shake the feeling that she might have protested too much, especially when she heard Henry mutter, "Adults are a mess, ugh."

&&&

The rest of Henry's visit passed peacefully, the two of them enjoying their final day together reading comics, watching movies, and playing video games. Emma and Regina had managed a cordial discussion and farewell at the end as they made tentative plans for another weekend in a few weeks.

She was pulling the sheets from the couch where Henry had slept, considering how she needed to invest in a sofa bed if he was going to keep staying with her when she heard her phone buzzing with an incoming text message.

Killian: I heard through the grapevine that Henry was there this weekend. Hope it went well!

Emma smiled down at her screen.

Emma: Wow, it's almost like I told you about this weekend in my last email. :P But yeah, it did. I even got him to agree that grilled cheese from Granny's is awesome, although he has the nerve to say he needs to try others to be sure it's the best

The three dots appeared immediately, and she awaited his quick reply

Killian: He's clearly as feisty as his mother, haha

Emma: Which one lol

Killian: Both! Regina scares me a little, but I can't deny she's audacious and ambitious. And I have every confidence in your pursuit of the best grilled cheese

Emma: I always do get my sandwich

The conversation dwindled at that point, but Emma wasn't entirely surprised when a "surprise" delivery person appeared at her door the next day.

But instead of the flowers she was half expecting, it was a box. The person making the delivery just shrugged as she looked at them inquisitively.

She took it inside and opened it, reaching for the sheaf of papers inside the neatly presented box. And then she laughed, full-on belly-laughed. It was a subscription to a grilled cheese box--or at least, vouchers for grilled cheese at some of the places around town that were known for offering good, cheesy sandwiches.

Once she was done laughing, Emma didn't hesitate in taking out her phone and dialing Killian's number. "Hey, thanks for the grilled cheese," she said as soon as he picked up.

He laughed. "You're welcome, lass. I saw it and I couldn't help myself. I figured you and Henry could get some cheesy enjoyment out of it."

"And if Henry can't make it, you could come, if you'd like," she suggested, chewing on her lip, hoping he couldn't hear the complete uncertainty in her voice.

He paused. "What are you suggesting, Emma?"

"I...I think I want to be friends again."

"Truly?" He sounded so eager, and it tugged at her heartstrings.

"Yep. Do--do you want to come over and talk about it?"

Killian replied almost before she was done asking, "Absolutely. I'll be over soon. If you meant today, that is."

"Red rover, red rover, send Killian on over," she said, smiling even as the butterflies danced in her stomach.

&&&

It was an hour later when she let Killian in, and Emma muffled her laugh at how puppy-like he was in his earnestness.

“Hi, Swan. I didn’t bring anything. Should I have brought wine? I wanted to get over here as quickly as I could,” he said, eyes shining with hope, even as his ears were tinged in red.

Emma let out the laugh. “Okay, calm down, Jones. Just come sit on the couch with me.” She patted that cushion, and he sat next to her.

They sat in silence until he grew serious. “So…”

She nodded at him. “Yeah…”

“One of us should probably begin,” he said with the smallest quirk of his lip.

Biting her lower lip, she agreed. “And I think you should. I--I need a moment.”

“I don’t think I can apologize enough. For going behind your back, and lying about it,” Killian said hurriedly. The earnest look had returned, but there was something new with it--contrition.

“It’s just--I...I told you everything. You know it all, and you still lied to me.” Emma was getting incredibly annoyed at her newfound tendency to get choked up, and here she was, getting choked up again.

“I know,” he said, hanging his head.

She twisted her hands, looking down at her lap, and said, “I can’t do that again, you know?”

“And I can’t blame you for that.” He turned his gaze away from her and his shoulders slumped.

“But here’s the thing, I want to. I want to try. I miss talking to you, I miss being with you. And I want you,” Emma said, taking a deep, fortifying breath.

That hopeful look from earlier returned, even when he replied, “I’m sensing a ‘but’ in there, lass.”

Emma hesitated. “I’m really having a hard time with you lying to me and hiding things when I was vulnerable. You knew about Henry, you knew about prison, and you even fucking knew about Neal.”

“I told you about Milah and about the Navy.” He wasn’t quite defensive--no, it was more like he was pleading with her.

“But you neglected the part where you were keeping tabs on me, and where August was basically blackmailing you with your visa. I mean, Jesus, Killian.” She shrugged, shaking her head in disbelief.

Killian buried his face in his hands for a moment before reaching over and seeking to entwine their fingers. “I--well, like I said, I have no excuse. I--Is there any way we can move past this, though? Or, perhaps, through it?”

She acknowledged his question, tinged as it was with desperation, with a serious nod. “I mean, I think we can try, as friends? I’m willing to. Just...promise me, no more lies.”

“As friends? So we’re not together again? For lack of a better phrase. Or is it just professional?”

“Can we…take it slow? And figure it out as we go?” Her voice was tremulous, indecisive.

He bit his lip, looking conflicted. “Part of why I did what I did was that I didn’t want to get hurt again. And I still don’t much like the idea. It just seems to me that not doing a good job of figuring out what we are could lead to more miscommunication and pain, rather than less. And I don’t want that for either of us, Emma.”

“I care about you. A lot. But so much is going on right now, and I’m trying to figure out how my life works again,” she said, wincing at her inability to offer him reassurance.

“I think I can do that.” To his credit, he only sounded the tiniest bit sad. His mouth was turned down, and she could see pain in his eyes, but he tried to smile.

Emma threw herself into his arms, embracing him tightly. After a moment, she pulled back, chagrin clear on her face. Wincing again at the mixed signals she was sending, she asked, “Is this okay?”

“It only wouldn’t be okay if you didn’t do that,” he said, finally laughing a little.

She laughed. “That didn’t even make sense.”

“I know,” he said, still smiling.

&&&

Before she knew it, Henry was back for his second weekend visit. This time they had a chance to do some of the sight-seeing they hadn’t been able to the previous time. They even made it out to Cambridge for a visit to the Harvard Museum of Natural History, as per Henry’s request.

Henry was a smart kid, and he immediately picked up on the frequency with which she received incoming texts, and he was wily enough to peer over her arm and see that most of them were from Killian.

He shot her a more knowing look than any eleven year-old had a right to. “So you and Killian are friends again?”

She blushed and ducked her head, trying to hide her smile. “Uh, yeah, something like that.”

“Are you all back together?!” He was all but bouncing on his feet, eyes wide as he looked up at her.

“Not really. But he’s around again, and we spend time together,” she tried to explain.

And it was true, after a fashion. Emma and Killian were texting back and forth non-stop, and they’d managed two coffee non-dates. They’d talked about her novel and helped iron out some of the issues she was having with it, but they’d also debated the merits of the latest movies they had seen and which of them had found the cuter picture of cats and dogs cuddling with each other. Emma finally felt like her friendship with Killian was back on solid ground, and that they were potentially building the foundation for something more. She didn’t want to jinx it, but she felt like maybe after this they could last.

But she wasn’t ready to confide all of that to her preteen son. So she tried to change the subject back to him.

“So, about that math class of yours, Regina mentioned you’ve been having some trouble?”

He snorted. “It’s fine. I’m doing better, now that I have a tutor.”

“Well, that’s good,” she said with a smile. Remembering one of the issues he’d had a few months before, she asked more seriously, “What about that feeling you had about someone watching you a few months ago? Anything come of that?”

Henry screwed up his mouth, a line appearing between his brows. “Not really. Sometimes I still think… but no.”

“You’d tell me if you were in trouble, right?”

He let out a loud, aggrieved sigh. “Of course. I’d tell you and I’d tell Regina.”

“That’s what I like to hear.”

&&&

After a stellar visit, Emma drove Henry back up to Storybrooke. Their next visit would be able to be a little longer, with Henry having a break from school coming up. She dropped him off at Regina’s, and decided to head out as soon as she could, even though Henry expressed some interest in bringing her to the comic book shop. She begged off, having gotten very little sleep the night before between late night chats with Henry and texts from a certain British someone. Henry was disappointed, but said he understood. Especially when he started grinning when she mentioned the texts from Killian.

The drive back was long, lengthened slightly by the nap Emma took at one of the rest stops along the way. All in all, though, she felt happy. At peace. It had been a good weekend, and it felt like things were finally going her way.

She was nearing Boston when her phone rang. She normally would just wait and deal with it when she got home, but she raised her eyebrows when she saw Regina’s name on the caller ID.

“Hey, Regina--”

The other woman’s panicked voice cut her off. “Where the hell is Henry? He’s been gone since about fifteen minutes after you left!”

#cs ff #captain swan #csbb #cs au #cs mc ff #one of the things henry says is big mood #part of the narrative #amber writes

50 notes · View notes