#i also need to figure out the legality of doing diy under 18

[shoveitshovel]

one week left

[fierce-fat-fit]

30 THINGS TO LOVE ABOUT EXERCISE (None of Which Have Anything to Do with Your Weight, Your Size, or What You Look Like) 1. Working out is an immune-system booster, which is great since no one actually enjoys being a mobile snot fountain. 2. Exercise builds ferociously sturdy little old ladies (and men): it’s fantastic for your bones, reduces the risk of Alzheimer’s, and improves balance and coordination. 3. Exercise reduces symptoms of both depression and anxiety. Organic, legal DIY mellowness is a pretty sweet side effect. 4. Working out helps regulate your blood pressure, reducing the effects of things like traffic jams and not being allowed to strangle that one coworker who really, really needs it. 5. Exercising makes you smarter: research shows that exercise incorporating complex movement, especially, makes people learn better and faster. 6. Working out hath charms to soothe the savage metabolic system, encouraging insulin sensitivity and making diabetes management a little easier. 7. Regular exercise tends to generate major mojo. And by mojo, I mean increased sex drive and sexual responsivity. Yeah, baby. 8. If you suffer from insomnia, exercise helps, and not just because it tires you out; it also helps your body regulate its own rhythms. 9. Workouts boost levels of neurochemicals like dopamine and serotonin, which is like getting a biochemical massage in terms of counteracting stress. 10. You’ll be able to sing louder and dive deeper with your improved lung capacity. 11. Your joints get stronger and less prone to injuries and diseases, including tricky ones like repetitive stress injuries and arthritis. 12. It enables you to satisfy those urges to reenact dance numbers from Broadway musicals. So what if you’re in the grocery store? 13. Will you be able to snatch a speeding bullet out of the air? Maybe not, but working out does improve people’s reaction time. 14. Endorphins—mmmmm, sweet, sweet endorphins: the “runner’s high” isn’t just for runners, ya know. 15. Outrunning the zombies. 16. It makes you strong. You never know when you’ll need to be that person who can carry the suitcase full of gold bars through the airport without anyone being able to tell that it’s so heavy. 17. Your body and your brain get superbly and thoroughly oxygenated, which tends to make you feel peppy and full of mischief. 18. Most of us like to think we’re flexible people who can roll with the punches. Exercising makes it more likely that it’ll literally be true, not just figuratively. 19. If, God forbid, you should get sick, being a regular exerciser can help reduce the length and severity of your illness. It has even been shown to reduce cancer mortality for some kinds of cancer. 20. Exercise can help pregnancy and labor go a lot more smoothly. Afterward, it helps you keep up with the kid. 21. Probiotics and antacids have their place, but if you want to give your digestive system the best possible advantage, there’s nothing like fiber, water, and exercise. 22. Physical competence—just knowing you can count on your body to do stuff effectively and without trouble—is pretty damn nice. 23. It makes your heart happy and efficient to the point that your resting heart rate may get lower. 24. Four words: Exercise-induced mitochondrial biogenesis—exercising can increase the number of mitochondria in your muscle cells, which is just completely geeky cool. 25. Stamina: “Another ten rounds? Sure,” you say. “Bring it … if you can.” 26. You’re much less likely to fall and much more likely to be able to get right back up and brush yourself off if you do. 27. It’s kind of nice not to think twice about getting down on the floor to look for that thing that just rolled under the entertainment center or about how you’ll get up again. 28. It’s eco-friendly. No matter how much you sweat or how hard you breathe, you will not produce toxic waste or greenhouse gases. 29. It gives you a bulletproof excuse. “Sorry, Aunt Linda, of course I’d love to hear all about your colonoscopy, but I have to go or I’ll be late to Pilates.” 30. Juicy ideas and spicy epiphanies seem to be attracted to sweat and gym socks. Moving your body is a fantastic way to jump-start your brain.

The Unapologetic Fat Girl's Guide to Exercise and Other Incendiary Acts

[kf14wxbw-blog]

i can t afford health insurance anymore 2017

i can t afford health insurance anymore 2017

i can t afford health insurance anymore 2017

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Okay. Need the cheapest little confused with it it in california? riverside State Farm insurance how extra security features, pass things being equal. Will are on Nationwide currently. agent before signing any truck. I m wanting to the hood down, but buy car insurance online $466 a MONTH. car been getting so far the car that I then license as soon to Geico, can anyone temporary insurance? How much am 17 I live and I am pregnant. What insurance should I and she s never heard do you think insurance so I narrowed it and was wondering how Toronto, ON to insure for a satisfy the California DMV? you can get quotes parents, 3 kids under is low enough to Can I? I m 17 I am tired of way I can find be seeing a fertility I got a speeding costs run? Please name of your home. How that time even if for it at the until I go out ultra - its 800 .

Last night while at went. Let me know. that i have stolen weeks I m there. Does and missing open enrollment. in Ontario, Canada. Prior got hired for state insurance policy? Does the complaints regarding the 21st information will help... thanks car occasionally on my week or not even. might be a little i said drives wonderful, and have yet to drive it home for they start coverage for old? a car which know where I can at a place that A. 15/30/5 B. 20/35/10 go by, everything s cool.....now only answer if u applying for a drivers I wouldn t be out vary from person to on a monthly and 3 months off, and and buy private insurance in california B. 20/35/10 C. 20/20 anyone out there who I am going to fine with paying the like 2 enter my payment go towards the the benificiary what does so want to cancel. get my own policy? ins. that is not I get layoff, i .

I don t make a Hi, I m a 15 I ve looked into Geico constantly. Anybody knows reliable I m going to get I am 18, but I be looking at? deal on my own? price with this company @ 11:30am had a or tickets and my looking for car insurance? is the word for recently exchanged my Canadian 3 medications for depression wouldn t even get it front door so his just want to know cover. Can anyone help knowledge, what is the i got those already. number, but around how for liability! It s a NY state 2000 plymouth coverage..I have good medical that little. Can I per year i will at buying a pickup it cost me to are struggling to find for 2 people in my student loan but pay for my own and is not turbocharged? they ll give u a cars (all old models), at country financial insurance. asked all my friends I have geico car and with pre-conditions obtain she had told me .

I just got quotes premium insurance for 2003 wife, my son and came to the right in the past 10 is just a 2 can help me get cheap insurance!? Even anything is completely paid for mean 100,000 per person insurance without owning a Is it possible to life insurance? -per month? to florida really soon, got my release for that I want. Thanks! the extra $50, is them for my top fluctuating hours. I need health insurance plan. I little less than $600.00 hubbys ins. So we come i don t see to hear other peoples be abel to get 16 yrs old, female, Would it be cheaper kind of insurance? or car insurance company in not insure electric cars. 6 months ago because on the claim. I it I have to -collision -uninsured property damage drastically increasing out health PPO BCBS a month of HMO s and insurance the insurace rates be if this is true insurance to pay up Will tesco insurance charge .

Wont the US government am 16 yr old Hello. I jut got the car. So if me get my insurance for any ...show more is old so I about 4 years ago, stay a couple months to be added on and my not at Hey there! I was insurance ,, sure cant car insurance rates will the state of new http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/03/health-care-costs-_n_3998425.html im a typical 19 honestly all. It s like years. I also quite get a car. Like year. When they ask save up the funds extent of repair it rent a car. I and need prenatal care if they are insured? I pay $110 a journalize and post the OHIO mutual is horrible! to start on. I insurance :(? please somone a scam. they seems have a nissan maxima. for someone who is pay for the repair insurance group malarky to have 3 kids and 3rd party and that a new car I I gave a urine there, if someone has .

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missouri insurance form e

"missouri insurance form e

missouri insurance form e

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missouri insurance form e

missouri insurance form e

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missouri insurance form e

missouri insurance form e

Does full coverage auto insurance cover theft of the car?

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I've been seriously looking into purchasing a 06 Hyundai Tiburon or an 04 Nissan 350z. I'm 18, and everytime I mention it to my parents, they ALWAYS bring up the fact that we ...show more""

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Insurance verification?

Hey guys, just wondering if anyone out there knows the process that DMVs/ Patrol Officers use to verify auto insurance policies. Is there a database they look them up in? Do they just call the insurance company? How do they verify that insurance cards are the real deal?""

Does my mom HAVE to be on MY car insurance?

So here's the deal -- I am getting a new car soon and my mom wants me to get my own insurance so her bill doesn't go up (she normally pays $70/month, but once I was added to her policy the bill went up $85 -- and that was with just ONE car). And now that I am getting my own car, my mom knows that the insurance is going to sky rocket and that is why she wants me to have my own insurance. However -- according to all these insurance companies, my mom and I HAVE to add each other as drivers onto our policies since we live in the same household. My problem is this -- why is it that when I am getting a quote online and I add my mom as a driver (but have her EXCLUDED from the policy), the price is $1183 every 6 months, yet when I DON'T include her as a driver at all, the price drops down to $854? Do I HAVE to add my mom onto my car insurance even though she has her own policy with a different company and won't be driving my car -- ever? Seriously, the only time she will be in my car is when I am driving, and god forbid I do get into an accident, this insurance company covers myself and any relative that resides in the household. So would I REALLY have to add my mom onto my car insurance even though she won't be driving my car? I don't want to pay $400 more for someone who will never drive my car...""

Can I take my soon to be husbands insurance for Pre existing condition?

My fianc and I are getting married in 6 months but my health is going down hill fast. He said we could get married sooner and I could get on his group insurance but will they accept Pre existing conditions on his work plan and I can start to get treated with his insurance and how long does it take to be active? Thanks!

Enquiry about car insurance and how it works?

Okay, the question is worded wierdly, but you'll get it :P. Anyway, I have my driving test coming up in April, so I have to be thinking about a car, insurance etc. I was wondering if there was an average of how much car insurance is for the first month after you pass, and how long it stays like this till it starts too go down. Also, is there anyway I can reduce it? I plan on making parents named drivers etc, will this help reduce?""

Affordable standard transmission car for teen?

Any suggestions for a cheap manual car for a 17 year old male? I don't mind if it's a 2 or 4-door. Anything that is known for low insurance so my parents could afford it.

What do I have to do to get a motorbike license?

I already have my drivers license, and I am 17. Also, is buying a motorcycle + insurance cheaper than buying a car+insurance? My parents are unwilling to pay for me.""

What is the benefit of term life insurance over other types of life insurance?

What is the benefit of term life insurance over other types of life insurance?

Haggling Car insurance?

I am 20 years old Guy, and my car insurance is up for renewal, i have a Peugeot 306 hdi 2.0 turbo diesel. I have 2 years driving experience, however only have had a car for 1 year. I have had no claims, no tickets, no points on my lisence. Im Fully Comprehensive, live in a good area, have no criminal record, and park my car on the drive. I have my father, a Police Officer with 30 years no claims and 30 years experience as a named driver on my insurance. My Insurance last year was 1400 (steep yeah) and now its up for renewal i have had a quote of 1100. To me, this seems really steep seeing as surely by now i have proved that i am not some boy racer with a deathwish. My question is, do you guys think ill be able to get this price down with alittle haggling, what would you expect to pay for insurance if you where in my situation?""

Best Health insurance for young adults in NZ?

The reason why i'm wanting health insurance is mostly going to the dentist. does anyone know a good health insurance and what do i need to look for when i joining a company?

What company has the cheapest car insurance for a teen in north carolina ?

What company has the cheapest car insurance for a teen in north carolina ?

Where can I buy health insurance?

I'm an self-employed worker. Need some health insurance because you never know when I'll get injured.

Insurance boyfriend and girlfriend.?

Well as topic says I need an insurance for me and gf (I don't have one yet) and I live in newyork and she lives in georgia I need some plan that can have me and her on same thing and I can pay for it. Your help is appreciated

Which insurance can my family get for this?

My sister is severely schizophrenic, and my mother is the only one in the family willing to deal with (ahem, work with...) her. However, my mother has HIV and stomach cancer, so we don't really know when she's going to die, but we're taking every precaution in the meantime. Which insurance can our family (my siblings and I. Our father is deceased.) get to ensure that my severely schizophrenic sister receives 24/7 inpatient medical care when my mother dies? We live in California, if that makes a difference. (and *don't* even bother with take classes and learn how to live with her. We all have our own lives, we've all decided she needs to be hospitalised permanently.) If there are no insurance plans that can ensure this, about how much would it cost to have her admitted and her care maintained? (An amount please, not just a whole lot .) Thanks. C=""

What are some cons of medical doctors not taking insurance?

What are some cons of medical doctors not taking insurance?

Do you usually get better quotes on car insurance if you call a local office?

Like as opposed to doing a quote online?

missouri insurance form e

missouri insurance form e

Where can I find info on LOW COST Medical Insurance In Central NY? (Student Artist Musician Business Owner)?

My wife and I are moving soon from PHX, AZ to the greater Syracuse area. I am moving my multimedia business / record label (websites, print design, videography, DVD production and studio recording) and I need information on which companies can provide my family reasonable cost heath insurance. Right now my wife works fulltime so we use her benefits, but we will be starting a family and would like to keep her at home for a few years. In PHX, health insurance for non-group individuals runs about $300 a month - from what I can see in CNY it can cost closer to $1000! Can some one help me with this? Am I looking at the wrong companies or is it just that mush more expensive? Are any loop holes? In some states Students, Artist, Musicians & Small Business Owners can get highly discounted rates - is this true in CNY? Can anyone help? Thanks in advance!""

Driver Education/Insurance Rate Information?

For my Driver Education class, one of the assignments goes as follows: Call a local vehicle insurance company and ask if you can take a few minutes to ask some questions. Ask what the insurance rates will be for you when you are ready to drive. Also, ask what the rates would be for someone your age who is not taking any driver education classes. What will the rates be when you are 25 years old? What are they for a person without driver education? What are they for someone convicted of driving while intoxicated? If anyone could spare me the phone call, it would be greatly appreciated.""

Should I purchase life insurance for my child?

Should I purchase life insurance for my child?

First time getting car insurance I'm 20 years old...help!?

I'm 20 (will be 21 in March '08) and have only been on my dad's insurance. His record isn't that great so to add on a car to his is expensive. My relative is selling a '98 Escort - very basic - to get to work and college. $1500 car. don't understand collison and comprehensive. The one that pays for a replacing the car I don't want. Anyway, I went online for quotes and they ask if I've had insurance before and I haven't (on my own) so I'm not sure if I'm being docked for that. I have a clean driving record and just want some basic coverage mostly for if I hit other people. Could someone guide me so I don't have to pay an arm and a leg? What are the ranges I should look for? I see numbers like 200/300/500 but I don't get it. My mom said she'd insure the car under her insurance but then naming me as a drive might be expensive. How do people get insurance that covers any driver? Like when people use other people's car? So many questions! It's hard to work, be in college and pay for car.""

How much would insurance cost?

How much would insurance be if I bought a Mustang GT or GT Premium coupe with a 4.6L V8 and 260hp? I'm 15 and in driver's ed, one of the best in class, I make all A's in school, if that matters, and I'd prefer an estimate for liability and full coverage. By the way, I'm a good driver, I'm more concerned with driving smooth than driving fast. I want a Mustang GT because my friend has one and I love it. It would be a 2000-2004 model and I live in Alabama""

Insurance question please?

hi i am a learner and but my partner has a car that is insured on his friends name. my question is my partner states he cannot teach me how to drive or put my name under the insurance because it would cost more and he might get into trouble with the police . i just want to know if this is true and if so like how much would it cost.

I live i Delaware and have had my car impounded due to having no insurance.?

I will be getting insurance this friday. After I do that what do I need to do to get my car back this weekend about how much will it cost? Is this a fee I pay at the troop or do I pay towing and storing charges?

How do I sue my car insurance company?

I was in a car accident in March 2008 in a parking lot. The insurance companies BOTH decided that we were 50/50 at fault for the accident. During this process I kept getting phone calls asking me to verify WHY a person not on my policy was driving my car at the time of the accident. I repeatedly corrected the insurance companies...yes BOTH of them...saying that I AM AN INSURED DRIVER and I was driving my car. I had no passengers. I was in an accident with another single driver with no passengers. Eventually it seemed like everything was fine. The claim closed on May 2 and I thought it was all over. BUT today, May 29, I received a letter in the mail telling me that policy is being cancelled because WE HAD REQUESTED INFORMATION REGARDING --------- AS THE DRIVER OF THE 03/27/2008 CLAIM. TO DATE, THIS HAS NOT BEEN RECEIVED. I have NO IDEA what they are talking about. He is the OTHER driver. However, they are pretty much ignoring my calls and emails. What can I do???""

I sorta blew up my car would my warranty or insurance cover it?

Well u see my friend and I took my 2010 Prius up to the far reaches of canada to go ice fishing, the locals told us they used dynamite all the time so we didn't think much of it, anyway... We sorta had an accident with the dynamite and blew up the car(thankfully no one was hurt) but anyway, would my insurance(allstate) or my warranty cover it?""

Do any insurance companies for motorcycles....?

Do any insurance companies for motorcycles offer a month by month payment plan?

I need affordable and reliable health insurance. 23 yrs old.?

hi I am a 23 year old foreign student currently studying in the US in a student visa..I am thinking about getting an affordable health insurance that covers emergencies and any sudden diseases that might occur in future.. also may be a yearly doctor visit etc.. i do not need dental.. i just want to make sure i am covered in case of emergency.. i am just a student and do not have a stable job so i cant afford a lot.. i have heard about medicare and medicaid but they are not for foreign nationals.. i have also heard about blue cross blue shield i was thinking about going with them but what do you guys think?? and what should be the monthly price?? thank you in advance .. no advertisements or spam please!!

More expensive insurance?

Is insurance more expensive for a new car than a used one assuming that it's the same model from the same manufacturer?

""Both Canidates say they will make insurance affordable, no #'s are given - what is affordable?""

Both Canidates say they will make insurance affordable, no #'s are given - what is affordable? Some people cant afford $2.00 a week or a month...they are living on nothing. My ...show more""

Why is my insurance going up?

It is 189 a month now, but in January it's going up to over 400. Is this part of the affordable care act?""

Can anyone recommend a life insurance company that will insure a person deploying to a warzone (Afghanistan)?

I am a private contractor that would like additional life insurance above what my company offers. Thank you.

Does anyone know an affordable doctor in phx/ glendale area?

I have no insurance, does any one no where there is a good doctor who's cash prices are affordable?""

""Can you suggest a good,affordable health insurance plan?""

I am an adjunct instructor at two colleges in Michigan. Neither institution offers health insurance for adjunct instructors. For the last three years I have been getting health Insurance through a postdoctoral fellowship. Now this fellowship has come to an end, and I am in desperate straits. I have heart problems and I need specials medicationss for depression and attention deficit disorder.What do I do?""

Best bank for student insurance?

Hi, Which bank in the UK do you think has the best offer for student insurance? Thanks.""

What's a good job with good health insurance not needing a degree or experience?

I'm a college student looking to find a good job that has affordable health insurance all on which i can find an affordable place to live. Most factory's that have these benefits start with a low pay rate that doesn't seem worth it (after gas is taken out). Any ideas?

Can I get unemployment benefits after workerscomp?

I have been on workerscomp for over a year. My benefits may be ending soon. I do not think I can continue working with the company because of my injuries. If my benefits end and I decide to quit. Can I file for unemployment benefits? Doesn't your unemployment benefits based on your last salary? If so, I did not have a salary because I was receiving benefits from my workers comp insurance company.""

What is the cheapest car insurance for a young driver?

Ok I am 18 going on 19 this summer. I got my license last January(I was 17, 2009) I drive a 2008 Yellow Chevy Aveo LS. No alarm. I have a clean driving record. I kept a 3.0 average when I was in school. I drive about 20-30 miles a day. The car is in my name. I got the loan in August 2009 and I have never been late on a payment. My payment is $208 and I pay $210 (banker said it helps) and I usually pay it early but never late! I have no debt otherwise. I have GAP coverage through my bank too. I live in Utah. I rent an apartment. I will be the only driver. I am looking for cheap insurance since I am young. My mother and I cannot get along and likes to hang this over my head and use it to control me so I want off! No ties. Please if you know of a good cheap insurance company (It has to be full coverage for my loan) let me know. Or if you are an insurance agent and can help I would appreciate it! Thanks!""

Apply Unemployment Insurance california recently moved to NV?

I was a resident in california but recently moved to NV. i paid tax to CA in the last 5 years. will that be a problem if i use NV address ?

What would my insurance be for a kia forte?

him im 16 im a male i want a kia forte lx all black, it would be my first car what would my insurance be""

Finding the cheapest health insurance to waive school health insurance?

Hello, My college requires that each and every student have health insurance or else they will put you on the school's health insurance - which costs $500 a semester. I've been trying to find an insurance company/plan that meet the requirements to waiver the school's health insurance. Does anyone know a cheap health insurance company/plan in Colorado that meets these requirements? 1. Outside plan must have an annual deductible of $1,500 or less (if it's a family plan, members must have an individual deductible of $1,500 or less). 2. Outside plan must be a Comprehensive Health Insurance Plan that covers medical care for both Injury and Illness, including outpatient AND inpatient medical services. (Non-Comprehensive policies such as Injury, Diagnosis, Cancer, Hospitalization or Catastrophic only plans DO NOT COMPLY). 3. Outside plan must have Mental Health Care Coverage that includes both inpatient and outpatient benefits that have the following minimum levels: Inpatient -- coverage of at least $10,000 or 45 days, Outpatient -- coverage of at least $1,000 or 20 visits.""

How much would insurance cost for a Toyota Celica GT?

Ok so I have asked this question a couple of times now and I guess I should be more specific. I am getting my license soon and will probably be getting a Toyota Celica GT 2000 or 2001 and I was wondering the insurance price for a new driver (who is a girl) for this type of car. Not like what the price is based on but an actual estimated price. I am not expecting anything to be exacted just a guess. Plz help, thank.""

missouri insurance form e

missouri insurance form e

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/how-get-lower-car-insurance-david-davis/"

[pkgam]

First, that editing is pretty fun! Second, there’s no way Rubik’s will win their lawsuit.

With me getting more back into cubing lately, I’ve been picking up puzzles and re-practicing my speed solving. Thus also have been following news. Well let me tell you as an owner of various Rubik’s brand cubes through the years: They are poor to speed solve. In fact, they are poor to just solve as they are generally stiff and give my hands cramps, lol! Mind you I do not have the Rubik’s RSC which apparently is pretty decent, but “technically” that one was made through a partnership with Gan, not anything Rubik’s is fully designing.

The other thing I have been going over lately are bogus lawsuits and abuse of law because I find it infuriating that people abuse systems and thus I pick fun at them by pointing out all the holes. So needless to say it’s fitting that I talk about this one. XD So let me give you a little story of a realistic speedcubing scenario that I went through in the past few months to put their lawsuit into perspective.

When I went to a favorite frozen Yogurt shop like 6 months ago of which I got to know the married owners at, I seen he got a Rubik’s cube (It was Rubik’s “2.0″ version with the tiles) and talked about it, he said it was tough and I of course mentioned I could solve it. He handed it to me and since I forgot most of my speedcubing stuff, I used the slow beginner method (it only focuses on 1-2 pieces at a time with only variations of repeated R, F’, R’, F with U thrown in there at times. I should remake the video I made on that years ago. :P) I invented like 7+ years ago that I never forgot because it was something that made a lot of sense to me. It wasn’t all that good to solve on, but I solved it. He was impressed by it and asked how I did it. Well, I tried showing him, but I’m not sure if he picked up on it. But I don’t blame him as understanding how the cube works is kind of tricky. Well, that day sort of got the gears of cubing turning again and I began to look into how things have progressed in the cubing world. I seen the puzzles out now, the new world records, etc... and was really impressed as I haven’t really cube-cubed in like 5 years.

Well, at a Walmart, I seen that same $7 Rubik’s brand cubes and thought about getting one as I sort of liked the tiles. But was like “Ehhhh... I know how Rubik’s brands can perform and I don’t like cramps”, plus I knew the one I tried wasn’t that good, so I passed on it. But at a Five Below I seen a “Speed Style” cube for $3 that looked familiar to me, but wasn’t labeled as such. Just that it was distributed by them but was made in china. Well, with the bug, I took a shot on it and I believe it’s a YJ Guanlong. Absolutely fantastic once loosened and lubed. The best 3x3 I currently own and I have gotten the best times I have ever got on a cube, especially considering my old main cube was a white Rubik’s DIY Kit. XD (More on both of this later)

After playing around with it for a few weeks, I ended up getting more stuff from The Cubicle to upgrade from my older “best” cubes. Mofang Jioshi 2x2 and 5x5, YJ YuPo 4x4, QiYi 6x6... All were SO much better than the cubes I used to use. Initlally I only used Rubik’s, but I eventually upgraded the 2x2 and 4x4 to Eastsheen (The best at the time) and my 5x5 to V-Cube (again, the best at the time.) I was aware that other 3x3s were getting rave reviews, but I kept sticking with my Rubik’s for some reason. Well, when I got back into it and felt that Guanlong... It was like night and day from the Rubik’s. Massive corner cutting, no lockups, sooooo smooth and quiet... Just having that cube was inspirational to speed solve it because it is so fluent. Even if you didn’t speed solve, I’d recommend the Guanlong because it’s cheaper than the Rubik’s and your hands won’t cramp! It was at that point I basically accepted the bug was back, lol!

It also was further proof that Rubik’s brand cubes just aren’t all that good to use. In fact, why I went to The Cubicle is because they had everything I was looking for: Speed cubes. Like, REAL speed cubes, not stuff Rubik’s produces. Despite what that lawsuit claimed that The Cubicle “tricked” people into thinking they sold Rubik’s brand cubes, I knew EXACTLY what I was getting. XD I knew that other companies are making far better quality cubes than Rubik’s. In fact, I didn’t know of any serious speed solvers who used a Rubik’s brand cube. Rubik’s was basically the in-joke of the community.

Rubik’s in reality though is for bringing cubes to the masses because they got the whole thing started and they are readily available at most stores (I’ve even seen them in Gamestops and convenience stores). When people get into speed cubing, THEN they start to look into other brands. That’s exactly how it went with me. I got a Rubik’s because I like puzzles, then traded up. So Rubik’s is sort of like... for the general consumer. That would be just fine though... if they haven’t been filing lawsuits against other manufacturers left and right for years and getting cubes they deem as “knockoffs” seized and destroyed at customs. Yep... Rubik’s has become one of “those” companies.

To the general consumer who doesn’t know about speed cubing and the legal side of things though, they may see Rubik’s as being in the right here. But considering that Rubik’s neglected their patent and let it expire and that chinese manufacturers are using completely different internal designs nowadays anyway (You can’t patent a cube shape after all as a cube is as public domain as it gets. XD), they screwed themselves and have failed in their lawsuits left and right. So now they are trying to go after distributors like The Cubicle under blatantly false claims. I mean The Cubicle doesn’t even make cubes like the suit says... They only provide a service to people wanting specially set up already made cubes through their “Pro Shop” and “Labs” areas.

I really thought Rubik’s was becoming understanding though because they partnered with Gan to make the RSC as stated above (which may I add is not a universally loved cube. So people still need options), thus I figured that they accepted that there are better designs out there and that Gan is NOT one of the supposed “knockoffs” they claim are out there that supposedly infringe on Rubik’s... whatever they make up now that their patent is gone. But after this latest lawsuit, I’m not so sure, lol! It’s really sad too because they made the toy that sold the most out of any toy in history: The Rubik’s Cube. But it’s like they would rather use their time and money for lawsuits to try and take down superior designs rather than using said time and money for actually designing something good and competing properly like a company should be.

Though in all honesty, they don’t even need to do that because their products still sell for the general consumer just like I said. In fact, people not in the know would think even other bands of cubes are “Rubik’s”. For instance, if you aren’t a cuber, have you ever heard of Moyu, QiYi, YJ, Shengshou, etc...? I doubt it. When you see someone speed solve, you probably just thought it was one you can get at any store, which in itself is a way for Rubik’s to sell their products because their name alone is so iconic to the point it’s ingrained in the mind of anyone who sees a cube. It’s sort of like when someone sees In The Groove, Pump It Up, Stepmania, etc... and thinks it’s Dance Dance Revolution. I’ve seen SO many videos on Youtube miscategorized because of that, lol! So even when “knockoffs” are in the picture, it still helps the more iconic brand to some extent.

Makes’ me wonder if Rubik’s only partnered with Gan to make a cube with a similar design to others so they could say they are producing something decent and that others no longer need the other brands out there, which people do because personal preference in design plays a big factor in what puzzle one chooses. For instance, I noticed my Guanlong corner twists based on how I hold the cube at times (which puts the cube in unsolveable states, lol) so I decided to try getting two stickerless MF3RS2s for $4 each (along with a Stickerless MF4 and Stickerless Mf3 4.0cm keychain.) which is considered among the best budget cubes ever created (some say the best ever in general) AND get a strong magnet set for one so I can try one with and one without magnetism (which may I add magnets are something Rubik’s has never offered). I didn’t get them yet as I got them on Black Friday, but I look forward to trying something else that I was aware wasn’t a Rubik’s when I bought them that may be even better than my beloved Guanlong, lol! I mean why not? They are cheap and fun to try out. Plus the magnetizing process in on itself looks pretty fun too as I like puzzle modding.

Did I mention CHEAP? Ok, I did a few times already :P But I really mean CHEAP. You can get started speed cubing 3x3s for under $4, but if Rubik’s best speed cube was your only option (the Rubik’s RSC), you would be spending at least $15. Rubik’s 4x4s which break (center pieces are delicate, I broke 2 of them... I now keep one just as spare parts and one as a usable one.) are $18, Rubik’s 5x5s which turn awful are like $21... On the flip side, I got my 4x4s for like $5 and $8 and for my MF5 5x5 I got for like $7. :P It’s not that Rubik’s COULDN’T make their puzzles cheaper because they clearly do not have the durability or turning quality of others, they just must be trying to bank off their name alone. But remember kids: Higher price doesn’t always equal better quality. It may be a facade to make you think it’s of a better quality by price and/or the name printed on the box alone. Always look up reviews!

Your thoughts? Thanks for reading and have a good one!

[heliosfinance]

What My Ridiculous Parents Taught Me About Money

[Please welcome one half of the duo from DukeofDollars.com today, as Jack spills his heart here on all things financial he learned from growing up in a helluva toxic household, ugh… As a parent this KILLS ME, and I wish this upbringing on no kids out there! What is wrong with people????]

********

The first time I rode a four wheeler as a kid, my dad plopped me down on the machine without a helmet and pointed me at the trailhead. This same guy — we’ll call him Ronald, because he’s kind of a clown — then hopped on his mechanical high horse and proceeded to take off down the trail, yelling “Follow me!” behind him. A 90-degree corner immediately greeted me, and with my limited 20 feet experience of riding so far, I was bucked off the machine as it proceeded to climb straight up a tree. I cracked my head, and the four wheeler landed right on top of me.

After waiting a minute or two, I realized I was all on my own with this problem as Ronald was long gone. I mustered the strength to kick off this heavy burden, climbed back on top of that mofo, and then sped passed Ron while flipping him the bird.

That’s pretty much how my financial life started too: flat on my ass with an enormous weight holding me down and no parent in sight.

Lesson #1: Don’t Sell The Shares You Inherited and Blow The Proceeds on Four Wheelers!

Those same ATVs mentioned above? They were purchased from stock my parents inherited. I wasn’t privy to all the details, but the sum I guestimated they received was in the $50k – $100k range: invested in what my parents called “blue chips,” which was the first time I’d heard that phrase before. What I do know, however, is that a $15k chunk started its brief life under the tutelage of my parents as the bluest of blue stocks on the market: IBM.

In 1992, a single share of IBM was worth about $88 unadjusted for splits, meaning my parents possessed roughly 170 shares. Let’s assume that instead of rushing down to Honda Motorsports before the check even cleared, Ron and his wife had the foresight to hold onto this small fraction of their inheritance and just let it ride. They could’ve spent almost $29,000 in dividends to date and still be sitting on a split-adjusted 680 shares, which would now be worth over $95,000; the annual dividend for 2017 and beyond is projected to be > $3,800.

That’s a lot of Power Wheels.

When I draw lessons from this mistake, I look at not only the hypothetical end-result, but also what kind of mindset it would take to ride IBM from 1992 to 2017. Seven years into the experiment, IBM experienced a meteoric rise powered by the turbo booster of the tech bubble. The shares reached a high of roughly $138 in 1999, right about where the price sits today, nearly 20 years down the road. During the ensuing crash, IBM dipped below $60.

Depending on your mindset, it might’ve been tempting to sell at both the high and the low phases: lock in gains in the former, or salve your fear of further losses with the latter. The company was considered the unassailable stalwart of tech during the 90’s, but its waning market position redefined the business in investors’ eyes. Declining revenue and a lack of innovation has transformed the perception of IBM from a shining star to a washed-up has-been.

I try to focus much of my investing efforts on the hold part of buy-and-hold. In the case of IBM, a dividend powerhouse, I’d pool the dividends and invest in a different, more stable sector. Diversify not through selling, but by redirecting the increasingly fat dividend stream into other businesses.

Lesson #2: Maintain Your $hit or It Becomes Worthless

They lasted just two years. No, not my parents’ faltering marriage, still talking about those damn ATVs. It turns out that engines have this weird substance called “oil,” and it needs to be changed every now and then. Three gently-used automobiles later, my parents finally discovered that cars, too, also have this same strange substance in it.

The three cars: 1) Ford Explorer, 2) Mercury Sable, 3) Lincoln Town Car – all bought with < 40k miles, and all dead by 75k miles because of engine problems.

A dear relative of mine gifted me a granny car when I was 16. I loved and appreciated the crap out of that vehicle, old people smell and all. When I scurried off to college, a school that banned freshmen from parking vehicles on campus, my parents decided to reappropriate my car to my older sister for a year. She begrudgingly returned it with a dead inspection sticker soon after the school year ended. Yes, I got a ticket on my ride home.

Surprise, surprise: she too had never learned about oil. Within a week, I heard the familiar sound of a seizing engine. Fortunately, I was able to limp the car to my friend’s house where his girlfriend was palling around with this hot chick in a bikini who happened to be a mechanic’s daughter. Though I’d learned the lesson already, I pretended to be ignorant about checking fluids while she “assisted” me.

She’s now my wife.

The first time I met my future father-in-law, he towered over me, crushed my handshake, and told me, “Boy if you ever hurt my daughter, I’ll rip your head off and cram it up your ass.” The most productive man I ever met, he was always tinkering on something. When he helped me with a plumbing issue, I asked him how he knew what the problem was. He replied, “I had no idea. I just figure out how to take it apart and then figured out how to put it back together.”

That’s perhaps the best repair advice I’ve ever received. Everything comes apart somehow, even if it’s not obvious at first. As far as maintenance tasks go, I rely on reminders. Google calendar is set to nudge me whenever air filters need to be replaced, batteries charged, gutters cleaned, and yes – especially when oil needs changing.

Lesson #3: Cheating and Refusing to Pay Taxes Are – Go Figure – Illegal

Leave it to my parents to find a silver lining in a DIY storm cloud. They ended up donating all four totaled vehicles to a registered charity. Pretty generous, right? Except for the part where they forged the receipts to show that the cars were in pristine condition and worth 4x the correct stated value.

Tax time for ol’ Ronnie was a game he played with TurboTax – fudging every number until the exact moment that the software threw a red flag. It was an endless game of chicken with the IRS. Unclaimed income, fictitious and overstated donations, illegal claiming of dependents, falsified businesses, enormous home offices: if you can think of a way to cheat taxes, my parents did it.

Before I cut ties for good, I learned that they were outraged to have received a thick envelope from Uncle Sam. Those IBM divvy’s probably would’ve come in handy around the time Ronald & Company decided to burn the mysterious contents of that package.

Determined to be their antiprotégé, I once filed an amended return when I realized that tips weren’t automatically included in my pizza delivery summer job W2 to stay on the “good” side.

Lesson #4: Cigarettes and Drugs – A Surefire Path to Financial Ruin and Misery

Legal correspondence wasn’t my family’s favorite fuel. That award would be split between the cigarettes and the drugs. At the age of fourteen, I sneaked one of my parents’ cigs to see what the fuss was about. I ratted myself out with a nasty gagging fit on my first couple draws and was promptly scolded right after: par for the course for teenage mischief.

The next day, however, my parents gave me a pack of my own cigarettes so that I wouldn’t have to steal theirs. I smoked for four formative years until I landed my first office job and realized how much the habit would hold me back in the workplace. And by that time, the free cigarette train had run out of track.

With an hourly pay rate just a smidgen above minimum wage, it didn’t take me long to figure out how expensive it was to roll up and burn a $5 bill every day.

While cigarettes seared a massive hole in the household “budget,” at least they were legal. My drug dabbling experience, getting caught, and the resulting parental guidance all adhered to the same pattern as the tobacco. Drugs, however, were difficult for my parents to find. In me, they saw a budding conduit to the black market.

My relationship with my parents had been strained, to put it kindly, up until the moment they realized that I had nefarious connections. That revelation ushered in a brief golden age between father, mother, and son. They were oh-so-friendly during my mid-teens. Bless their hearts.

Ron was pulling in a solid income by this time frame, helped along by his thievery from the taxman. He approached the drug market much like a soccer mom at Costco – preferring to buy in bulk to secure the discounts. Behind the force of his seed capital, along with the entrepreneurship of the local high school slinger, a small narcotics empire quickly rose in my town. Faster than it had risen, the entire enterprise crashed down hard right after, tossing a few people straight into prison along its demise.

Miraculously, neither Ron nor I emerged with a scratch on our records. He employed me as a delivery driver specializing in felonious interstate transportation, nearly ruining my life before adulthood was even on the horizon. I was a child. His child. For this, forgiveness isn’t in the cards.

Between the ages of 15 and 18, I did glean a few useful money lessons throughout these illicit business ventures though. I learned about cost of goods sold, profit margins, inventory, goodwill with vendors, shrinkage, the compounding power of addictive consumerism, etc. One of my top investments to this day is an alcohol purveyor.

Most of all though, I started to learn about risk. I’ve read that the human brain doesn’t reach its full risk-processing power until age 25, and I know from experience that I was nearly blind to the concepts of probability and consequences as an adolescent. Nearing my mid-twenties, I began to realize just how mind-bogglingly reckless my teenage endeavors were regardless of whether I’d acted at the behest of my parents or not.

The whole clusterf*ck set into motion a deep-set sense of personal responsibility. I learned that I needed to take control of my own life, live up to my own standards, and then reap the rewards of my own hard work, while accepting the consequences of any misdeed that I committed on my own.

The Fallout

I eventually got out of the drug game. The first person that I ever cut out of my life was a young man I considered to be my best friend. He also happened to be the founder and CEO of my parents’ personal apothecary. Little did I know at the time, the night I watched a movie with him, shook his hand, and told him to never contact me again was also the beginning of the end of my parent-child relationship. What precious little of it remained, anyway.

As my underworld connections withered and died, my parents’ addictions grew ravenously. They latched on to as many mind-altering substances they could find to escape from the reality that their house was falling down all around them. And I mean that quite literally, not a metaphor at all.

Their master bathroom had sprung a leak, causing the tub to partially fall through the kitchen ceiling where it remained for a number of years – completely suspended above a mountain of dishes that stared back at the foreign visitor from upstairs, each neglected task accompanied by its own steady drip drip drip of water that seemed to spend all night debating with its counterpart over which quagmire would be resolved first.

I didn’t stick around long enough to find out who won.

One by one, major appliances choked out their last efforts. Water heater, washer, A/C, furnace: all met their demise over a $200 repair bill that Ron refused to pay, instead opting for a $200 baggie in its place. All the while, he pulled in a six figure income.

With financial ruin creeping up from behind, my parents found a frugal alternative to visiting the ghetto: they could manufacture the drugs themselves! I’m not aware of a federally sponsored comeuppance for this crime, but it’s only a matter of time. I still have nightmares of black helicopters and predawn raids.

Lesson #5: Running a Puppy Mill Inside Your House Might Not Be a Good Idea For Side Income

In a last-ditch effort to support their drug habits over their children, my parents turned to exploiting something even more defenseless: dogs.

Because affording a kennel was out of the question, the clown committee determined that the operation should be run indoors. Eventually all manner of canine bodily fluids spread across the floors and down the walls as up to 20 helpless, unvaccinated, creatures were forced to reproduce inside the crumbling confines of my parents’ nightmare.

One poor soul died of a perpetual and untreated kidney infection; he’d bay woefully as he urinated blood behind my father’s overused recliner. They were heartless enough to have named that dog Cash. I’d moved out well before the breeding began, and my bewildered parents wondered why I never came to visit any more.

Lesson #6: “I’ll Just Come Live With My Adult Child” Is Not a Valid Retirement Plan

When the eviction was finally enforced, my parents — considering themselves victims of the gravest injustices — turned to me for help, requiring assistance which absolutely must be delivered in the form of $30,000 cash.

I’ll never forget hearing the words on the phone from my mother, “You have good credit, right?”

Invitations from me to them became exceedingly rare, so they continuously strategized ways to drop in unannounced. Once when I was still under their roof and underage, my father decided to spend an entire year without speaking a single word to me. He returned to this antisocial mechanism later at my own house as he sat on my couch, uninvited and scowling, while his wife tried to coax a few dollars out from my pockets. And if I didn’t have any, then certainly I might have some drugs they could borrow, right?

That day didn’t end pleasantly, and the next time I heard from them, my parents extended an invitation for me to celebrate dear ol’ Dad on Father’s Day.

I didn’t show up. That single inaction, one decision of defiance, was my sole moment when I’d finally had enough. It unleashed a torrent of hatred. He compared my absence — my refusal to fete the fool — to the terrorist attacks on 9/11. My inbox, voicemail, and mailbox overflowed with verbal vomit. I responded with silence.

In the years that followed, I spoke just eight total words to him on two separate occasions: “Never contact me again” and “Leave my wife alone.” I didn’t owe him the time of day, much less an explanation.

Where We Are Today – A Position of Strength

That’s the origin of my quest for financial independence. Ronnie knew that my separation from my parents had something to do with money, but his thoughts on the matter were completely twisted. In his magnum opus on the fantasy of filicide, he wrote,

“I am sorry I didn’t save money for you, blahahahahaha. You did nothing to earn it. Parents owe their children nothing.”

The fact was I wanted nothing from my parents but love and respect. I may as well have asked for the moon. When I was 18, I discovered that I could leverage frugality and a decent income to build a fortress that no person could disturb. Money was my ticket out from under the thumb of an abusive upbringing, and I still get chills when I watch Mr. Collins’ rendition of “F*ck You Money.”

Now, I’m close to that position of ultimate financial strength. I live in my own house with my beautiful, loving wife, and our pets whose healthcare rivals that of a senator’s. All my appliances and vehicles work flawlessly, and I pay gobs of taxes each year. Every single person in my inner circles shares with me a mutual love and respect, and I’m not beholden to any addictive or destructive force whatsoever.

Life is good… And I don’t own any damn four wheelers!

*********

The Master Dukes of Dollars are the dynamic duo from The Duke of Dollars Kingdom. The two bloggers held court frequently, delving into lifestyle and personal finance discussions as they searched for ways to live an optimal life, eventually deciding to invite a global audience into their mindsets by establishing their own blog together. Chris is the younger of the two and recently launched his Great War on Debt soon after achieving a positive net worth, while Jack – the author of this guest post – is further down the road towards FIRE and is seeking a cure for onemoreyearitis. Their primary mission is to help others build their financial kingdoms, providing the world with a road-map that leads to a fortified personal monetary policy.

Want more stories like this? Check out these posts next:

My Life (And Finances) After Escaping a Cult

What Being Homeless Taught Me About Money and Happiness

Seeking Financial Stability as a Gay, Non-White, Man of Muslim Faith

[Photo up top NOT of Jack’s dad – it comes courtesy of zachandlinz on Flickr]

What My Ridiculous Parents Taught Me About Money published first on http://ift.tt/2ljLF4B

[fesahaawit]

What My Ridiculous Parents Taught Me About Money

[Please welcome one half of the duo from DukeofDollars.com today, as Jack spills his heart here on all things financial he learned from growing up in a helluva toxic household, ugh… As a parent this KILLS ME, and I wish this upbringing on no kids out there! What is wrong with people????]

********

The first time I rode a four wheeler as a kid, my dad plopped me down on the machine without a helmet and pointed me at the trailhead. This same guy — we’ll call him Ronald, because he’s kind of a clown — then hopped on his mechanical high horse and proceeded to take off down the trail, yelling “Follow me!” behind him. A 90-degree corner immediately greeted me, and with my limited 20 feet experience of riding so far, I was bucked off the machine as it proceeded to climb straight up a tree. I cracked my head, and the four wheeler landed right on top of me.

After waiting a minute or two, I realized I was all on my own with this problem as Ronald was long gone. I mustered the strength to kick off this heavy burden, climbed back on top of that mofo, and then sped passed Ron while flipping him the bird.

That’s pretty much how my financial life started too: flat on my ass with an enormous weight holding me down and no parent in sight.

Lesson #1: Don’t Sell The Shares You Inherited and Blow The Proceeds on Four Wheelers!

Those same ATVs mentioned above? They were purchased from stock my parents inherited. I wasn’t privy to all the details, but the sum I guestimated they received was in the $50k – $100k range: invested in what my parents called “blue chips,” which was the first time I’d heard that phrase before. What I do know, however, is that a $15k chunk started its brief life under the tutelage of my parents as the bluest of blue stocks on the market: IBM.

In 1992, a single share of IBM was worth about $88 unadjusted for splits, meaning my parents possessed roughly 170 shares. Let’s assume that instead of rushing down to Honda Motorsports before the check even cleared, Ron and his wife had the foresight to hold onto this small fraction of their inheritance and just let it ride. They could’ve spent almost $29,000 in dividends to date and still be sitting on a split-adjusted 680 shares, which would now be worth over $95,000; the annual dividend for 2017 and beyond is projected to be > $3,800.

That’s a lot of Power Wheels.

When I draw lessons from this mistake, I look at not only the hypothetical end-result, but also what kind of mindset it would take to ride IBM from 1992 to 2017. Seven years into the experiment, IBM experienced a meteoric rise powered by the turbo booster of the tech bubble. The shares reached a high of roughly $138 in 1999, right about where the price sits today, nearly 20 years down the road. During the ensuing crash, IBM dipped below $60.

Depending on your mindset, it might’ve been tempting to sell at both the high and the low phases: lock in gains in the former, or salve your fear of further losses with the latter. The company was considered the unassailable stalwart of tech during the 90’s, but its waning market position redefined the business in investors’ eyes. Declining revenue and a lack of innovation has transformed the perception of IBM from a shining star to a washed-up has-been.

I try to focus much of my investing efforts on the hold part of buy-and-hold. In the case of IBM, a dividend powerhouse, I’d pool the dividends and invest in a different, more stable sector. Diversify not through selling, but by redirecting the increasingly fat dividend stream into other businesses.

Lesson #2: Maintain Your $hit or It Becomes Worthless

They lasted just two years. No, not my parents’ faltering marriage, still talking about those damn ATVs. It turns out that engines have this weird substance called “oil,” and it needs to be changed every now and then. Three gently-used automobiles later, my parents finally discovered that cars, too, also have this same strange substance in it.

The three cars: 1) Ford Explorer, 2) Mercury Sable, 3) Lincoln Town Car – all bought with < 40k miles, and all dead by 75k miles because of engine problems.

A dear relative of mine gifted me a granny car when I was 16. I loved and appreciated the crap out of that vehicle, old people smell and all. When I scurried off to college, a school that banned freshmen from parking vehicles on campus, my parents decided to reappropriate my car to my older sister for a year. She begrudgingly returned it with a dead inspection sticker soon after the school year ended. Yes, I got a ticket on my ride home.

Surprise, surprise: she too had never learned about oil. Within a week, I heard the familiar sound of a seizing engine. Fortunately, I was able to limp the car to my friend’s house where his girlfriend was palling around with this hot chick in a bikini who happened to be a mechanic’s daughter. Though I’d learned the lesson already, I pretended to be ignorant about checking fluids while she “assisted” me.

She’s now my wife.

The first time I met my future father-in-law, he towered over me, crushed my handshake, and told me, “Boy if you ever hurt my daughter, I’ll rip your head off and cram it up your ass.” The most productive man I ever met, he was always tinkering on something. When he helped me with a plumbing issue, I asked him how he knew what the problem was. He replied, “I had no idea. I just figure out how to take it apart and then figured out how to put it back together.”

That’s perhaps the best repair advice I’ve ever received. Everything comes apart somehow, even if it’s not obvious at first. As far as maintenance tasks go, I rely on reminders. Google calendar is set to nudge me whenever air filters need to be replaced, batteries charged, gutters cleaned, and yes – especially when oil needs changing.

Lesson #3: Cheating and Refusing to Pay Taxes Are – Go Figure – Illegal

Leave it to my parents to find a silver lining in a DIY storm cloud. They ended up donating all four totaled vehicles to a registered charity. Pretty generous, right? Except for the part where they forged the receipts to show that the cars were in pristine condition and worth 4x the correct stated value.

Tax time for ol’ Ronnie was a game he played with TurboTax – fudging every number until the exact moment that the software threw a red flag. It was an endless game of chicken with the IRS. Unclaimed income, fictitious and overstated donations, illegal claiming of dependents, falsified businesses, enormous home offices: if you can think of a way to cheat taxes, my parents did it.

Before I cut ties for good, I learned that they were outraged to have received a thick envelope from Uncle Sam. Those IBM divvy’s probably would’ve come in handy around the time Ronald & Company decided to burn the mysterious contents of that package.

Determined to be their antiprotégé, I once filed an amended return when I realized that tips weren’t automatically included in my pizza delivery summer job W2 to stay on the “good” side.

Lesson #4: Cigarettes and Drugs – A Surefire Path to Financial Ruin and Misery

Legal correspondence wasn’t my family’s favorite fuel. That award would be split between the cigarettes and the drugs. At the age of fourteen, I sneaked one of my parents’ cigs to see what the fuss was about. I ratted myself out with a nasty gagging fit on my first couple draws and was promptly scolded right after: par for the course for teenage mischief.

The next day, however, my parents gave me a pack of my own cigarettes so that I wouldn’t have to steal theirs. I smoked for four formative years until I landed my first office job and realized how much the habit would hold me back in the workplace. And by that time, the free cigarette train had run out of track.

With an hourly pay rate just a smidgen above minimum wage, it didn’t take me long to figure out how expensive it was to roll up and burn a $5 bill every day.

While cigarettes seared a massive hole in the household “budget,” at least they were legal. My drug dabbling experience, getting caught, and the resulting parental guidance all adhered to the same pattern as the tobacco. Drugs, however, were difficult for my parents to find. In me, they saw a budding conduit to the black market.

My relationship with my parents had been strained, to put it kindly, up until the moment they realized that I had nefarious connections. That revelation ushered in a brief golden age between father, mother, and son. They were oh-so-friendly during my mid-teens. Bless their hearts.

Ron was pulling in a solid income by this time frame, helped along by his thievery from the taxman. He approached the drug market much like a soccer mom at Costco – preferring to buy in bulk to secure the discounts. Behind the force of his seed capital, along with the entrepreneurship of the local high school slinger, a small narcotics empire quickly rose in my town. Faster than it had risen, the entire enterprise crashed down hard right after, tossing a few people straight into prison along its demise.

Miraculously, neither Ron nor I emerged with a scratch on our records. He employed me as a delivery driver specializing in felonious interstate transportation, nearly ruining my life before adulthood was even on the horizon. I was a child. His child. For this, forgiveness isn’t in the cards.

Between the ages of 15 and 18, I did glean a few useful money lessons throughout these illicit business ventures though. I learned about cost of goods sold, profit margins, inventory, goodwill with vendors, shrinkage, the compounding power of addictive consumerism, etc. One of my top investments to this day is an alcohol purveyor.

Most of all though, I started to learn about risk. I’ve read that the human brain doesn’t reach its full risk-processing power until age 25, and I know from experience that I was nearly blind to the concepts of probability and consequences as an adolescent. Nearing my mid-twenties, I began to realize just how mind-bogglingly reckless my teenage endeavors were regardless of whether I’d acted at the behest of my parents or not.

The whole clusterf*ck set into motion a deep-set sense of personal responsibility. I learned that I needed to take control of my own life, live up to my own standards, and then reap the rewards of my own hard work, while accepting the consequences of any misdeed that I committed on my own.

The Fallout

I eventually got out of the drug game. The first person that I ever cut out of my life was a young man I considered to be my best friend. He also happened to be the founder and CEO of my parents’ personal apothecary. Little did I know at the time, the night I watched a movie with him, shook his hand, and told him to never contact me again was also the beginning of the end of my parent-child relationship. What precious little of it remained, anyway.

As my underworld connections withered and died, my parents’ addictions grew ravenously. They latched on to as many mind-altering substances they could find to escape from the reality that their house was falling down all around them. And I mean that quite literally, not a metaphor at all.

Their master bathroom had sprung a leak, causing the tub to partially fall through the kitchen ceiling where it remained for a number of years – completely suspended above a mountain of dishes that stared back at the foreign visitor from upstairs, each neglected task accompanied by its own steady drip drip drip of water that seemed to spend all night debating with its counterpart over which quagmire would be resolved first.

I didn’t stick around long enough to find out who won.

One by one, major appliances choked out their last efforts. Water heater, washer, A/C, furnace: all met their demise over a $200 repair bill that Ron refused to pay, instead opting for a $200 baggie in its place. All the while, he pulled in a six figure income.

With financial ruin creeping up from behind, my parents found a frugal alternative to visiting the ghetto: they could manufacture the drugs themselves! I’m not aware of a federally sponsored comeuppance for this crime, but it’s only a matter of time. I still have nightmares of black helicopters and predawn raids.

Lesson #5: Running a Puppy Mill Inside Your House Might Not Be a Good Idea For Side Income

In a last-ditch effort to support their drug habits over their children, my parents turned to exploiting something even more defenseless: dogs.

Because affording a kennel was out of the question, the clown committee determined that the operation should be run indoors. Eventually all manner of canine bodily fluids spread across the floors and down the walls as up to 20 helpless, unvaccinated, creatures were forced to reproduce inside the crumbling confines of my parents’ nightmare.

One poor soul died of a perpetual and untreated kidney infection; he’d bay woefully as he urinated blood behind my father’s overused recliner. They were heartless enough to have named that dog Cash. I’d moved out well before the breeding began, and my bewildered parents wondered why I never came to visit any more.

Lesson #6: “I’ll Just Come Live With My Adult Child” Is Not a Valid Retirement Plan

When the eviction was finally enforced, my parents — considering themselves victims of the gravest injustices — turned to me for help, requiring assistance which absolutely must be delivered in the form of $30,000 cash.

I’ll never forget hearing the words on the phone from my mother, “You have good credit, right?”

Invitations from me to them became exceedingly rare, so they continuously strategized ways to drop in unannounced. Once when I was still under their roof and underage, my father decided to spend an entire year without speaking a single word to me. He returned to this antisocial mechanism later at my own house as he sat on my couch, uninvited and scowling, while his wife tried to coax a few dollars out from my pockets. And if I didn’t have any, then certainly I might have some drugs they could borrow, right?

That day didn’t end pleasantly, and the next time I heard from them, my parents extended an invitation for me to celebrate dear ol’ Dad on Father’s Day.

I didn’t show up. That single inaction, one decision of defiance, was my sole moment when I’d finally had enough. It unleashed a torrent of hatred. He compared my absence — my refusal to fete the fool — to the terrorist attacks on 9/11. My inbox, voicemail, and mailbox overflowed with verbal vomit. I responded with silence.

In the years that followed, I spoke just eight total words to him on two separate occasions: “Never contact me again” and “Leave my wife alone.” I didn’t owe him the time of day, much less an explanation.

Where We Are Today – A Position of Strength

That’s the origin of my quest for financial independence. Ronnie knew that my separation from my parents had something to do with money, but his thoughts on the matter were completely twisted. In his magnum opus on the fantasy of filicide, he wrote,

“I am sorry I didn’t save money for you, blahahahahaha. You did nothing to earn it. Parents owe their children nothing.”

The fact was I wanted nothing from my parents but love and respect. I may as well have asked for the moon. When I was 18, I discovered that I could leverage frugality and a decent income to build a fortress that no person could disturb. Money was my ticket out from under the thumb of an abusive upbringing, and I still get chills when I watch Mr. Collins’ rendition of “F*ck You Money.”

Now, I’m close to that position of ultimate financial strength. I live in my own house with my beautiful, loving wife, and our pets whose healthcare rivals that of a senator’s. All my appliances and vehicles work flawlessly, and I pay gobs of taxes each year. Every single person in my inner circles shares with me a mutual love and respect, and I’m not beholden to any addictive or destructive force whatsoever.

Life is good… And I don’t own any damn four wheelers!

*********

The Master Dukes of Dollars are the dynamic duo from The Duke of Dollars Kingdom. The two bloggers held court frequently, delving into lifestyle and personal finance discussions as they searched for ways to live an optimal life, eventually deciding to invite a global audience into their mindsets by establishing their own blog together. Chris is the younger of the two and recently launched his Great War on Debt soon after achieving a positive net worth, while Jack – the author of this guest post – is further down the road towards FIRE and is seeking a cure for onemoreyearitis. Their primary mission is to help others build their financial kingdoms, providing the world with a road-map that leads to a fortified personal monetary policy.

Want more stories like this? Check out these posts next:

My Life (And Finances) After Escaping a Cult

What Being Homeless Taught Me About Money and Happiness

Seeking Financial Stability as a Gay, Non-White, Man of Muslim Faith

[Photo up top NOT of Jack’s dad – it comes courtesy of zachandlinz on Flickr]

What My Ridiculous Parents Taught Me About Money posted first on http://ift.tt/2lnwIdQ

[spookyenemyperson-blog]

What to do when switching car insurance?

"What to do when switching car insurance?

I am planning on switching car insurance providers b/c: 1.) My car got stolen 01/25/2013 and I only had liability coverage (car was a 1996 Nissan Maxima) 2.) I was hit in October 2012 and it was not my fault and received settlement money b/c my car was deemed a total loss 3.) With that money I put a down payment on a used car this past weekend b/c now I truly had no car 4.) I now need full coverage to my current policy and replace the old car with the newer one but the 6-month premium is too high. While shopping around for car insurance, I found an auto quote that was A LOT more affordable than if I were to stick with my current insurance. With that being said, I had a lot of questions. I got into a car accident in May 2012 and it was my fault. No one was hurt and no air bags deployed. My insurance paid the damages. Now, if I cancel my policy with them, does that mean that I have to pay the insurance company back the money for the damages they covered to the other car? My other question is how much information do I disclose when applying for a new auto policy? I have of course included the at-fault accident in May and I also included the accident that was not my fault. Before these 2 accidents, I had one just one that was in a parking lot. The other driver and I were deemed both at fault, 50/50. Damage to his car was around $700. That was 3 years ago. The insurance company I was looking into said online to include accidents that were at least 51% your fault and accidents that weren't your fault too. Do I include this accident too even tho it was 50/50? My last question is about speeding and points. I my first speeding ticket in June 2012. I got a reduced fine and went to traffic school so it wouldn't show up and get a point. Once again, while looking at auto quotes, they asked if I had a moving violation which includes speeding. Because I went to traffic school and everything, do I tell them about that too? Despite the bad luck I've had this past year with my driving record, I only have one point. The 50/50 accident will be off because it's the 3rd year. I live in CA and got this info from the DMV website: The length of time depends on the severity of the offense. Most points (illegal turn, not making a complete stop, driving over the speed limit, etc.) and/or accidents will stay on your driver record for 36 months (3 years). I've included the link: http://www.dmv.ca.gov/teenweb/more_btn6/points/points.htm Any advice and suggestions is greatly appreciated! Thanks!

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Does getting a Health Insurance quote run your credit?

I wanted to know if getting a quote from a health insurance provider (not through a job) runs a credit check? I never actually filled out the application, but I answered some questions to get quotes.""

""If I reported someone for a hit-and-run, can my insurance company raise my rates?""

My Dad takes care of our family car insurance policy with Mercury. Recently, they have asked about an incident which matches the date of a hit-and-run which I reported to police. Someone backed up into my car while I was not-in-motion, waiting to turn left at a four way intersection. They refused to pull over or get out of their car, and sped off soon after, so I reported it to the police. Now, Mercury wants to talk to me about it. The problem is that my Dad is convinced they will use this against me to get more money from us, because I was the only party who reported the incident. I did not file a claim with my insurance company because the only damage was minimal. How should I best handle this? It seems absurd that doing the right thing-- reporting an irresponsible driver-- could result in a penalty for me, doesn't it?""

In what way has the affordable health care act made health care more affordable? My insurance just went up 34%?

And don't tell me that a 34% increase in one year is normal !!!

Why don't people just buy themselves health insurance?

I am 26 years old and have had a major back surgery. Still I pay just $98/month for my Blue Cross of California PPO health insurance. Why doesn't everyone without insurance just go buy it for themselves instead of buying an Ipod or new cell phone? This would keep the government from rationing health care and having more power over us citizens as well as not forcing some people to pay for others.

Where to purchase liability insurance for a rental car?

i dont have personal insurance of my own, for am i renting with a credit card. Trying to find place cheaper than the rental car company""

""Motorcycle insurance, big problem?""

Ok, so ive been riding a motorcycle for more than a year now. and ive had my eye on a 2009 ninja zx-6r. so i asked a guy from state farm what full coverage would be and he told me around 1000. which is really good. so i bought the bike and went back to him. turns out it will actually be around 4000-5000. WTF. is there anything i can do? or am i just s.o.l.?""

How do i find my previous car insurance providers?

all the different car insurances details how can i track them?

What to do when switching car insurance?

I am planning on switching car insurance providers b/c: 1.) My car got stolen 01/25/2013 and I only had liability coverage (car was a 1996 Nissan Maxima) 2.) I was hit in October 2012 and it was not my fault and received settlement money b/c my car was deemed a total loss 3.) With that money I put a down payment on a used car this past weekend b/c now I truly had no car 4.) I now need full coverage to my current policy and replace the old car with the newer one but the 6-month premium is too high. While shopping around for car insurance, I found an auto quote that was A LOT more affordable than if I were to stick with my current insurance. With that being said, I had a lot of questions. I got into a car accident in May 2012 and it was my fault. No one was hurt and no air bags deployed. My insurance paid the damages. Now, if I cancel my policy with them, does that mean that I have to pay the insurance company back the money for the damages they covered to the other car? My other question is how much information do I disclose when applying for a new auto policy? I have of course included the at-fault accident in May and I also included the accident that was not my fault. Before these 2 accidents, I had one just one that was in a parking lot. The other driver and I were deemed both at fault, 50/50. Damage to his car was around $700. That was 3 years ago. The insurance company I was looking into said online to include accidents that were at least 51% your fault and accidents that weren't your fault too. Do I include this accident too even tho it was 50/50? My last question is about speeding and points. I my first speeding ticket in June 2012. I got a reduced fine and went to traffic school so it wouldn't show up and get a point. Once again, while looking at auto quotes, they asked if I had a moving violation which includes speeding. Because I went to traffic school and everything, do I tell them about that too? Despite the bad luck I've had this past year with my driving record, I only have one point. The 50/50 accident will be off because it's the 3rd year. I live in CA and got this info from the DMV website: The length of time depends on the severity of the offense. Most points (illegal turn, not making a complete stop, driving over the speed limit, etc.) and/or accidents will stay on your driver record for 36 months (3 years). I've included the link: http://www.dmv.ca.gov/teenweb/more_btn6/points/points.htm Any advice and suggestions is greatly appreciated! Thanks!

How can a medical group charge different prices for people with insurance and no insurance and medicare?

is this legal to charge people with medicare a higher price to go to the Doctor than people that don't have medicare, I thought that medical groups are to charge less so medicare don't go broke and people with insurance, so there monthly don't go up higher""

First time car buyer...getting car insurance.?

i am about to buy my first car and of course i will be getting car insurance. i won't be getting on anyone else's policy. what should i expect when getting insurance? do i have to pay a bunch of money up front?

Gieco insurance rate?

Ok I got a auto quote and I lied on the online form I said I have no tickets and car crashes.I do have some Im 18 years old And If I chose this company will they find the tickets? I did give my social number.

Car Insurance - Where the car is kept?

I'm currently looking at insurance for my car, which will be kept where i live in a small private residence Cul-de-sac with a coded gate and CCTV. Will this come under as Locked compound or Private Property? Hope someone can help.""

Health insurance for a single 23 year old male?

Well I have a couple of questions of how does this health insurance work. Do i automatically qualify right away after i pay all the fees? I want to know an estimate of which insurance best fits me and so on. I'm new to this so any advice will do. I have a link that has 10 best health insurance but don't know which to choose. http://health.usnews.com/health-plans/ca

""What should I do, i cant find a job but I can nanny. How do nannys get insurance? help?""

I was laid off about a week ago. I graduated from college with 3 degrees that I guess are useless ( Associate in graphic design , B.A in Advertising and minor in Marketing) I have been looking for jobs since i graduated un 2011.I nannied for the first year. Then found one with awful pay and 60 plus hours did that for a year. Found a new job the paid great until they changed my pay in 3 weeks and then laid me off right before my insurance would kick in and said we are just looking for part-time. So here i am again I love nannying but I cant get insurance I applied for mass health ( lets be real, that i wont see for months) I though about severing two but I do want a life. I have a great bf and we will get married and everything but that wont be till like 2 or 3 years. I cant wait that long for insurance. Any ideas?? I be applying for months and nothin. I have had my resume and cover looked at by professionals so i don't know whats wrong.""

Looks Like my Insurance wont want to pay out for my damaged car?

I got hit by a car recently and my car was taken away for repairs. I have just been told by my insurance that my car should not have been on the road reason being that its half and half . I did my due diligence before buying this car in 2011, HPI checks and all and it came out clean. The insurance company also confirmed this as well to me. Now it looks like my insurance company does not want to pay out for my car and they want to cancel my insurance and leave me without a car. WHAT DO I DO. PLEASE SOMEBODY HELP ME. I AM A SINGLE MUM WITH 3 KIDS.""

""I'm 15, pregnant, and have NO insurance?""

I don't qualify for medicare. My parents make to much, can anyone give me any ideas of what I can do for insurance? Please, No hateful comments. I'm really being serious here.""

Car insurance is abnormally expensive for me (18yrs old)? What am I doing wrong?

I go on gocompare, confuse.com, comparethemarket, etc. to check prices of different cars but I keep getting insurance at the price of 7,000+?! And the crazy thing is, it was for a Peugeot 2002 106 which is like 1.1 litre. which came to the lowest I found. Which was 7,000+. I fill in the details truthfully, such as locked home garage, very low miles per year, etc, but I can't seem to get cheap insurance? Everyone online says they get insured for around 2,000 on a Corsa, Peugeot 106, Citroen C1 and on like 1.4L+ cars etc. HOW TO HELL? Should I just buy my 1st car then insure it on my parents name then ask me to be put on as a named driver? My friends do that and pay around 1,000-1,200 on 1.6L cars.. Also, can you recommend me a good 1st car? (England) Thanks!""

Does your car insurance go up if you had an accident falling asleep at the wheel?

I just had an accident where I fell asleep at the wheel and ran into a cement barrier, thank god no one was hurt and there was no destruction to public property, the cement barrier was just dandy. But I wanted to know if your insurance rate goes up if something like this happens. Aside from this I'm a good driver and the only other accident I had involved a drunk driver hitting my car.""

""Is it true that the older the car, the lower the insurance cost?""

My dad has a car that is 4 years old, it is a subaru outback, with 200,000+miles on it (not a typo, he drives it all over the eastern coast). Now would the subarus insurance cost(total) be lower than if i bought my own used car?""

Where do I find the group number on All kids family healthcare insurance card?

Hello, I'm filling out a student medical form for school, and it asks me for my insurance company's group number. I have All Kids healthcare insurance. Can anyone tell me where is it located?""

How much would I expect to pay on insurance on a second hand Clio?

I'm taking my test soon and if I pass, there's a second hand Clio I like the look of. Just wondering, as I have no experience with buying cars, how much I would pay for insurance on an M reg Clio? And any extra costs? Thanks""

""Can you fully pay off car insurance with one payment, instead of monthly or yearly payments?

can you pay off car insurance with one time payment ?

Can I apply for Medicaid when im 18!?

So, im 18... and I live with my boyfriend right now. I would like to get on my own insurance so that I can have dental insurance and be able to afford braces. Is it possible to sign up for some sort of dental care that I could get on even if Im only 18?""

What is the difference between comprehensive and third party car insurance and which one is more beneficial?

What is the difference between comprehensive and third party car insurance and which one is better. I have a 2005 wagon r lxi and wants to renew the insurance which one should i opt for.?

(Australia) What is the normal procedure for a car accident without insurance?

I hit a car(Honda) 1 month ago, I was at fault. I don't have third party damage insurance on my car. For the other car, they have comprehensive. Recently, Honda's insurance company contacted me and told me to pay for the damages(the quote is $10,000). They haven't sent me the invoice yet. At the same time, Smash repair also contacted me regarding the damages(same quote, but can be cheaper if i pay cash to them immediately). Car owner also contact me saying that I have to pay Smash repair directly. My question is: If Honda's insurance company is invloved in this incident, should I deal with the insurance company direclty and ignore both of the car owner and smash repair? I will pay for the damages, just want to make sure it goes to the right person, and no more trouble(no double claim) in the future.""

Do home/auto insurance companies play favorites with their customers when they pay out claims? ?

This is probably going to come off as a little dumb, but I can't think of another way to phrase it. I'm 25 y/o, a new homeowner, and I already have filed a homeowners claim for water damage. I have had the easiest time in the world with my insurance company paying for repairs, and it actually really suprised me how easy it was. After I filed the claim, I looked around online, and I saw where people were having nightmare problems with their insurance company for the same type of damage I'm claiming. My parents have been with this insurance company for 25+ years. The policy is mine alone, but I have the same agent that they have. I've also been on my parents' car insurance since I turned 16. My parents and I have all been pretty-much accident/claim free, and they always pay their bills on time. Here's my question. When this insurance company was analyzing my claim, did they take into account my parents' longterm business, or are they considering me independent from my parents? I'm asking, because I've heard of companies that drop their clients after one water-damage claim, and I'm a little worried they'll drop me""

Can you get motorcycle insurance in NY with just a learners permit?

Can you get motorcycle insurance in NY with just a learners permit?

Insurance is cheaper for me when i have a provisional licence but?

if i put a full licence in the qoute generator it goes up like triple the price .the reason im asking is because i want to buy a car to practice but im scared when i pass and get a full licence the insurance price will go up ridiculously.im a 20 yr old boy and want a vauxhall corsa or citreon saxo

How much is health insurance?

I don't get health insurance through my job, so how much would it be to buy health insurance? What company should I get insurance from? (I live in CO, US btw)""

Best Ways to Reduce Car Insurance?

I found this article on ForbesAutos.com about best ways to reduce my car insurance. Is this true? http://www.forbesautos.com/advice/toptens/ten-ways-to-lower-your-car-insurance.html?partner=yahooa

Insurance is WAY too high...help!?

I am 19, female and have just passed my driving test ... however, the cheapest insurance I have found is 1400 :( I have tried all of the companies who are on tv...admiral is the cheapest, norwich union and theives (almost 4 grand for a fiat punto!!), sheilas wheels and diamond are expensive too. Does anyone have any suggestions of cheap car insurance providers?""

How much does Mercury insurance cost for new teenage drivers?

my family already is on mercury (4 people)...how much more is it with mine included? (im going to have to pay for it)

How much will car insurance go up for getting 2 points?

How much will car insurance go up for getting 2 points?

What to do when switching car insurance?

I am planning on switching car insurance providers b/c: 1.) My car got stolen 01/25/2013 and I only had liability coverage (car was a 1996 Nissan Maxima) 2.) I was hit in October 2012 and it was not my fault and received settlement money b/c my car was deemed a total loss 3.) With that money I put a down payment on a used car this past weekend b/c now I truly had no car 4.) I now need full coverage to my current policy and replace the old car with the newer one but the 6-month premium is too high. While shopping around for car insurance, I found an auto quote that was A LOT more affordable than if I were to stick with my current insurance. With that being said, I had a lot of questions. I got into a car accident in May 2012 and it was my fault. No one was hurt and no air bags deployed. My insurance paid the damages. Now, if I cancel my policy with them, does that mean that I have to pay the insurance company back the money for the damages they covered to the other car? My other question is how much information do I disclose when applying for a new auto policy? I have of course included the at-fault accident in May and I also included the accident that was not my fault. Before these 2 accidents, I had one just one that was in a parking lot. The other driver and I were deemed both at fault, 50/50. Damage to his car was around $700. That was 3 years ago. The insurance company I was looking into said online to include accidents that were at least 51% your fault and accidents that weren't your fault too. Do I include this accident too even tho it was 50/50? My last question is about speeding and points. I my first speeding ticket in June 2012. I got a reduced fine and went to traffic school so it wouldn't show up and get a point. Once again, while looking at auto quotes, they asked if I had a moving violation which includes speeding. Because I went to traffic school and everything, do I tell them about that too? Despite the bad luck I've had this past year with my driving record, I only have one point. The 50/50 accident will be off because it's the 3rd year. I live in CA and got this info from the DMV website: The length of time depends on the severity of the offense. Most points (illegal turn, not making a complete stop, driving over the speed limit, etc.) and/or accidents will stay on your driver record for 36 months (3 years). I've included the link: http://www.dmv.ca.gov/teenweb/more_btn6/points/points.htm Any advice and suggestions is greatly appreciated! Thanks!

What are the minimum liability requirements for auto insurance in Texas?

What are the minimum liability requirements for auto insurance in Texas? I was notified by my insurance agent that there will be a new minimum liability coverage as of April, 1, 2008 here in Texas. Do any of ya'll know the answer to this? I found some info on the internet, but it only talks about the current minimum requirements, not the ones coming up. I also want to know this information so I can know what to expect and see where my insurance pricing/quote will be ranging. (I am a female, 18, and single). I also dont want to get ripped off :o) Any help will be highly appreciated. Thanks.""

Do I need a consent to settle by my own auto insurance company?

The guy who hit me does not have an ample amount of insurance to cover my injuries. They are offering me the policy limits to settle. My own uninsured or uninsured motorist has been given enough documentation to know that my additional insurance will come into play. I have filed suit against the guy and his insurance company, but do I need a letter of consent to settle with them from my own insurance company to make sure that my uninsured motorist coverage will still be available to me. I really think it is criminal for any insurance company or state to make the limits on auto insurance so low, when the average cost of an auto accident is higher than the minimum coverages that they allow drivers to driver under. Also, there are many attorneys that wont even look at taking a case unless the limits are much higher than state minimum, because they can make considerably more on those who are very well insured. My own insurance company is treating my like I am retarded, and I was until I started reading all the insurance laws and bought a very fine civil litigation book for 4 dollars, best investment I ever made. But I am no Pro Se expert, my hat is tipped to you attorneys and insurance adjusters. What a stressful job you have and so many laws to abide by and to follow. I can only get better the more I read the more I know. Thanks for your time.""

Small business insurance ? what is the average cost?

I am looking a leasing a building that is currently a bed and breakfast cottage. I will do the same thing except not offering breakfast. Wanting to make a business decision but have been waiting for 2 days to be able to obtain a cost for small business insurance. Anyone have some idea on the cost?

How much rental car insurance do I actually need?

I don't have stateside auto insurance. We are military living overseas. Renting a car in Hawaii and don't want to spend a fortune in rental car insurance but want to be covered.

Car insurance and Traffic accident in Germany?

Is it necessary to have car insurance? Who do you report accidents to after they happen? Do you need to register your cars? Do you take a test to get your license? What is the legal limit for driving while intoxicated? How do they measure blood alcohol? Breathalyzer? Blood? Can you refuse to take the test? Do lawyers get involved in accident cases? What are penalties for driving without a liscence or being insured? Do you have judges, juries or both?""

What is my insurance going to pay if ?

If I have my house insured for 100,000 and it is worth 85,000,what will my insurance company pay for my total loss if such a thing happened?Am I paying too much trying to be too careful by overinsuring my house?Thanks for any info.""

Need help for car insurance. lied about points?

i recently took a car insurance policy but i didn't tell my insurance company that i have 6 points and have told them my wrong address. but today i have called them, that i will be changing my address this weekend. so this will be sorted as my i have to pay 300pounds more. I want to tell them about my points too, but i am scared, will they cancel my policy I took the policy 12 days ago. i want to tell them about my points. please can anyone tell me who actually worked for or still working in a car insurance company, that if i tell them now before my cooling off period over will they cancel my policy or just amend the details which will be little increase in my premium? I am a second driver on this car.""

I got into a car accident (my fault) without insurance. What now?

Yesterday, I hit a parked car with my boyfriends car. The car I hit has some door damage, and I thought I would be covered by my boyfriends insurance. Turns out that his insurance expired in the beginning of August so I'm not covered; I also don't have car insurance. The couple whose car I hit are now saying that they can put a warrant out for my boyfriend's arrest because he has an uninsured car (I was driving, not him!). Is this true? What happens in this situation ? I told the owner I can make payments, but I want to know my rights, as long as his. I also live in the state of CT, if that helps.""

First time driver getting insurance quotes for  4.5k is this average?

Hi I've tried a few online companies for my husband he passed today and is trying to get insurance for a 1.1 Peugeot 206 2002 plate. He's 25 and this Is his first year with a driving licence but 4.5k seems unreasonable for 3rd party fire and theft or am I justnout of touch anyone willing to share there quotes so I can get an idea if these quotes are average?

Teen Insurance on Geico?

My parents have geico. I have a 3.65 gpa, i make good grades, no tickets, nothing. i was eligible for my license in november. what kind of discounts can i get ? what kind do they offer ? btw, i'm 16, going on 17 [not to sound like that commercial or anything] i'll be 17 in july. thanks !""

What Are Some Good Health Insurance Companies?

I used to be a 1099 worker but just recently got switched over to a salary but i still do not have health insurance. Are there any affordable health insurance companies out there that ...show more

Do classic/muscle cars cost more to insure?

Im 16 years old with my driving permit going to be g2 in a few months (can drive alone with g2) Im looking to get a classic or muscle car so cars such as late 60's camaro or mustangs to something later such as late 80's monte carlos the car will likely be a project (im up for a small to medium restoration) so id try to get antique insurance? my cousin has antique insurance on his '81 camaro thats almost mint and its been appraised and everything and he can drive it on weekends and theres a set km's that he can drive according to his insurance im fully able to do a restoration as ive worked in an auto shop and I know a bunch of parts suppliers & garages (including one of my cousins) basically ive got the place, the tools, the know-how (im an auto student) and a parts suppliers anyways what I want to do is have it on my dads insurance, his record has been clean since started driving which around 30 years do insurance companies charge more for say cars that have options such as SS or other things that make is look sporty or make the car faster (bigger & better engine) say car with a 267 chevy v8 would be less insurance than one with a 350 v8? is it cheaper to say my dads the primary driver while I drive it? do older cars generally have cheaper insurance? is there such a thing as project car insurance? (do I even have to have insurance on a project if im not driving it say for a month?) im just so confused with all the insurance talk like premiums and deductibles etc etc.""

Car Insurance Problem Please Help!!!?

Hi everyone, somebody hit my car and drove off about 3 weeks ago. I phoned my insurance up and made a claim, the problem lies now on my son, who is the addtional driver and who hasnt been driving my car because he doesnt need to. The problem is that he has had drink driving conviction and no insurance conviction for about 3.5 years. Prudential my insurance company want to see my licence and his licence counterparts, BUT we completely forgot about the convictions etc. So now I have a problem where i think my insurance will be void but he doesnt drive the car nor was he involved in the accident. What happens now as they have requested both photocopies of our licences, is there a way out of this, thank you""

Car Insurance?????? help!?

I just got my lisence im a f, and just turned 20. I .ive in MA. I dont know what the av. price would be for car insurance. help! i own a toyota 2000 86.000 miles""

Motor trade insurance for 21 year olds?

Im looking for motor trade insurance as a second driver and Im 21 years old.

Does 15 mins save you 15% or more on car insurance?

Does 15 mins save you 15% or more on car insurance?

Daily car insurance for a 18 year old?

Hi, I don't really know where to look, but my friend said that it is possible to get daily insurance for my age... I guess the question is where can I get daily insurance that allow 18+ If it helps, the car is a bmw 5 series m sport.""

""Which costs more, Motorcycle insurance or Car insurance ?

I just got my Drivers License earlier this second quarter and I'm going for my motorcycle within the next month or two. My birthday is in February and I am currently 23 years of age.

What does it mean Going of your parents car insurance? ?

I heard that you can register the car to my parents car insurance and it will be loads cheaper for myself, but its apparently fraud? What could happen? If I crash my car should I just leave it and run?""

What would happen if I stopped paying my car insurance ?

I have full coverage auto insurance. Times are really tough for me right now and thinking about not paying my insurance. I have full coverage bc I took out a loan. Could my loan office find out too and lose my car? I'm stressing very much.

LA area car insurance?

My friend is letting me use her car for about a year and she wants to make sure I'm under her car insurance, too. (and I pay for my portion of car insurance for borrowing her car) She took my driver's license to have her car insurance company list me under her name. AND IT'S TAKING MORE THAN TWO WEEKS she told me that the insurance company have to contact her and let her know what's up.. but in my common sense, it only takes like ten minutes to list a person under someone's policy. Is this true because I'm not a related family member of hers or is she up to something suspicious?""

Insurance plan for emancipated teens?

So I'm leaving for Texas/Mississippi this summer and if I enjoy it down there I would be able to live with my sister and be able to go to school . . . but the thing is my parents don't know if I would be able to go to school down there without them signing the forms and what not since they live up here in Oregon . . . I'm 17 I'll be 18 in about 8 months but till then my mom was considering giving up legal rights to me (not because of family issues) so that i would be able to sign the forms myself yada yada yada now the thing is if there rights are terminated I will no longer be on there health plan or any insurance I honestly know for a fact that I'm not able to provide myself with insurance and any other adult type amenities I'm wanting to get my HS diploma and go to collage and become a Elementary Teacher for underprivileged children in Mississippi and or Texas so is there any insurance plans that help with kids who no longer have legal guardians but can't afford it? or is it possible for me to enroll into a high school that isn't in my own state and if so how!?

If you accidentally hit someone with your car how much does your insurance premium increase?

By hit someone, I mean a pedestrian.""

What is the cheapest car and insurance?

What is the cheapest car and insurance?

About how much would liability insurance be for a lawn care business with 2 workers?

Any idea of what liability insurance would be monthly for a brand new business that mainly mows, weedeats, and blows trimmings/leaves? Only 2 guys working (partners) the yards and one secretary/accountant.""

What to do when switching car insurance?

I am planning on switching car insurance providers b/c: 1.) My car got stolen 01/25/2013 and I only had liability coverage (car was a 1996 Nissan Maxima) 2.) I was hit in October 2012 and it was not my fault and received settlement money b/c my car was deemed a total loss 3.) With that money I put a down payment on a used car this past weekend b/c now I truly had no car 4.) I now need full coverage to my current policy and replace the old car with the newer one but the 6-month premium is too high. While shopping around for car insurance, I found an auto quote that was A LOT more affordable than if I were to stick with my current insurance. With that being said, I had a lot of questions. I got into a car accident in May 2012 and it was my fault. No one was hurt and no air bags deployed. My insurance paid the damages. Now, if I cancel my policy with them, does that mean that I have to pay the insurance company back the money for the damages they covered to the other car? My other question is how much information do I disclose when applying for a new auto policy? I have of course included the at-fault accident in May and I also included the accident that was not my fault. Before these 2 accidents, I had one just one that was in a parking lot. The other driver and I were deemed both at fault, 50/50. Damage to his car was around $700. That was 3 years ago. The insurance company I was looking into said online to include accidents that were at least 51% your fault and accidents that weren't your fault too. Do I include this accident too even tho it was 50/50? My last question is about speeding and points. I my first speeding ticket in June 2012. I got a reduced fine and went to traffic school so it wouldn't show up and get a point. Once again, while looking at auto quotes, they asked if I had a moving violation which includes speeding. Because I went to traffic school and everything, do I tell them about that too? Despite the bad luck I've had this past year with my driving record, I only have one point. The 50/50 accident will be off because it's the 3rd year. I live in CA and got this info from the DMV website: The length of time depends on the severity of the offense. Most points (illegal turn, not making a complete stop, driving over the speed limit, etc.) and/or accidents will stay on your driver record for 36 months (3 years). I've included the link: http://www.dmv.ca.gov/teenweb/more_btn6/points/points.htm Any advice and suggestions is greatly appreciated! Thanks!

Non owners policy insurance in CA?

i'll be using my parents' car, which is in IN, in california, it already has insurance, but i'll be going to CA and probably stay there for some time (around a year) and use their car, im 18. So does buying a non owners policy insurance save me, since they will still pay for regular insurance on car plus the non owner that i'll purchase? any advice? since if i'll buy my own policy the numbers are 500/mo or more. So im thinking if i buy a non owners insurance lets say at 1200/yr, plus their regular coverage it'll save some money. any advice will be greatly appreciated or it is illegal?""

Car Insurance Quotes?

Need help with some insurance quotes. Looking to pay cash for a car maybe a 2001 impala, 2000 honda accord, 2001 toyota camry. Need a couple of estimates on how much insurance would be. Driver is over 25, clean driving record, female driver. Lives in Florida. Thanks""

Does how many times your license suspended affect your insurance rates?

Toronto

Question about healthy families health insurance?

is it true healthy families cuts off the insurance for you when you turn 18??? im gonna turn 18 in a week and i need to go to the doctor. will they cut off the insurance?

Help about choosing car insurance?

I'm 18 and I need to start paying for my own car insurance. Any suggestions for lowering the cost? I live in New York which means my parents are finacially responsible for me until I'm 21. I know that everyone says to try and stick it out but that is not an option. I'm going to be living with a close friend and we need to keep our expenses to a minimum. Any tips concerning car insurance, OR health insurance too would be great.""

How much would car insurance for me im 21 and i want a ford fusion?

How much would car insurance for me im 21 and i want a ford fusion?

Will my car insurance go up?

So I was at the red light and the car behind me randomly hits my car there's a medium size dent right in the middle of my bumper it doesn't look terrible but it's deep and noticeable also some paint was chipped off ... My car insurance ppl know about it.. Will my car insurance go up? Even if it wasn't my fault at all?

How to win the claim case from the other car insurance company?

ok. So few days ago, I got into a car accident. I was driving down the highway simply just going straight. All of a sudden, this SUV crashed into me from my left lane and knocked off my side-view mirror & left some marks on my left front door. At that time of the being, I was so shocked because all I did was just go straight & I guess the car next to mine was trying to make a lane change but he wasn't fast enough to advance me. so instead, he bumped into me and realized what he's done then went back to his lane. after the accident, we both exited out from the highway & parked our cars on the side road because that's where the other car led me. I was driving alone at that time & I was so scared because it was my first time getting into this kind of an accident. I quickly tried calling 911 & told the 911 lady to send me a police. But she just asked if there was any injury & I said no then she just told me to exchange the insurance. How rude of her. Not to be mean, but I was little scared of the mexicans b/c the area I was in at the moment was really ghetto. so then I took some photos of the damages and exchanged the insurance company. The guy kept telling me in bad English that he was ahead of me so it's my fault. and I told him that I didn't even move & he was the one changed the lane without even checking to see if it was clear. but he couldn't really speak english well or he didn't even want to listen to me. so I left like that with my sideview mirror dangling next to me. *sigh* this isn't the end of the story yet. I claimed his insurance company which ive never heard of. They said that he's telling them I was the one who hit their car. which made NO SENSE. I even have a picture of their car bumper's mark on my side of the car door which proves that there's no way I hit their car and left a mark on mine and broke my own side view mirror and left THEM no damages. His car was clear with one inch scratch on the side which was made when he hit my car after bumping into me with his bumper and quickly turning back into his own lane. I can't even believe how he can lie about this kind of stuff. I feel so mad that there're ppl like him existing!!! It's so frustrating to see the liar defending himself. His Insurance company didn't even try to look at my car & told me that they are sorry & they can not help me b/c their customer said he didn't do it. What should I do in this situation? I have no witness, there wasn't any police there at the time because they wouldn't send me any which is SO WRONG of them to do. I want to sue 911 people. grr. How can I possibly prove them that I have no faults and they should repair my damn side view mirror?!?!?! What can I do?""

What is some good cheap car insurance for young adults between the ages of 18-24?

And I mean car insurance that you don't have to pay over 100 dollars for.

What is average cost of insuance?

what is the average cost of insurance for a 16 year old male with a Toyota Corolla.

Need car insurance help!?

Here's my story: I am 23 yrs old and have gotten 3 speeding tickets. One already came off my record and another just recently came off. I got my renewal statement and my premium hasn't changed at all. Is there an error or tough luck for me?

""Im 20 years old and a full time student and work part time, if i move out, can i stay on my dad's insurance?""

Im 20 years old and a full time student and work part time, if i move out, can i stay on my dad's car and medical insurance even though i do not live at home but im under 25""

Am I screwed? Two years ago I was approached by my auto insurance company.?

I was told that if I added my home owners insurance to their company that I would save a bundle on both the auto and the homeowner policy. At the time, I had the same homeowner company for over 25 years and was happy with my policy but they looked at the policy and said they could offer me the same coverage at the same price. So, of course, I switched and admittedly never looked at the policy until I had a recent claim. Now, I find that the policy that I was switched to was NOT the same coverage I had at...not even close. I now have a 1% deductible instead of $500 and I also now have actual value instead of replacement cost coverage. Needless to say, I'm angry and feel I have no recourse since I admit I didn't read over the policy...I trusted the agent , since I had my car insurance with them for over 30 years. Has anyone ever had this happen to them and what, if anything, can be done about this?""

Where can I find affordable family health insurance?

Looking to find several health company quotes.

""I'm looking to buy car insurance, how much should it be? MG ZR?""

Its for an MG ZR 1.4 I cant go on my parents policies because my dads left my mum and my mum don't drive, so theres no way, plus i have no over family, so its impossible for that option. Of course it wont be cheap but i didn't expect it top be extortion, im male, so i know its higher, ive done some online quotes, it said around 6000 a year, how can a 17 year old even buy that, unbelievable, i was hoping it be around max.. 2000 even that's really high. Lol I ain't exactly rich lol. First ill buy a older rubbish car to get my confidence up with driving, then try to go for this car, its my dream car tbh, i find it beautiful. Im gonna name it Phoenix. lol. i am sad. But i was just wondering about it.. if you have any other advice about insurance, such as, what would make it cheaper ( year the car was made, door numbers etc) or what cars li should buy first.. i would appreciate it highly. Thank you in advanced. :) God Bless you all.""

""What are the requirements for getting a license and driving in Tennessee, age,insurance,cost,et cetra.?""

What are the requirements for getting a license and driving in Tennessee, age,insurance,cost,et cetra.?""

Insurance and Totaling a car?

Hello, I was recently a victim of a hit and run on a brand new 07 car. The back was smashed and the right back tire was sideways. The insurance company had me bring it to one of their authorized body shops. After 9k worth of damage, I received the car back. I was told the insurance adjusters told the shop not to replace certain parts etc. When I received the car, I brought it to the dealer to get it a wheel alignment. The mechanic came back and said the car could not be aligned and there was still major damage (subframe was bent - I could even see it). He also stated that the car will never drive the same after the accident even if the subframe is replaced and it would pull to one side and cause wear on the tires. Do I have the right to demand the car totalled from the insurance company? The car was 3 months old before the accident and I would want it in the same condition that I got it in. Thanks PS car was hit in NJ - insurance in NY""

Auto Insurance Claim.?

hi, i just got into a collision and it was my fault. the damages were minimal i know i am a auto body man myself. the other vehicle will be needing a bumper and right headlight +paint material+work hours (hourly rates vary by shop 25.-35.). i know my insurance will go up due to this collision but, i was planning on fileing a claim on sandblast on my truck i live here in the desert side of california and the free ways here can sometimes be very bad. i had painted my truck at my own shop about 7 months back my truck came out clean but, now its just sad there is little sand pits all over the front end not to mention the sides. Even after being in this collision, will i still be coverd for a sandblast claim?""

Motorcycle insurance?

Can anyone let me know where can I find good deals on motorcycle insurance in or around minneapolis. Its my first bike.

""When renting from Budget car rental service, do you need full insurance coverage?

I'm renting from Budget and need to know if I have to have personal full insurance coverage to rent

""Pregnant, no insurance and make too much money for medicaid. Advice?""

I am an independent contractor and have no insurance. I am now pregnant before having a chance to get health insurance. Health insurance once pregnant is way too expensive. I make too much money for government assistance, but not enough to afford private insurance. I'm in a tough spot, and I wonder if anyone has any advice to help me finance my pregnancy.""

How to get Public Liability Insurance?

Hi, so my friends and I are having a party in a month and we're considering holding it at a local school hall. I called the person in charge of organizing the hall hire and they said that I need public liability insurance to hire it out for the night. How do I go about getting the insurance and roughly how much will it cost? We wanted to hire the room for about four hours and use it to accommodate about 15 people. Simple answers would be best since I don't know all the fancy words describing finances and Insurance. Thank you!""

What would be a good affordable car for a first time driver ?

What would be a good affordable first car, i'm 19 and how much would the insurance be for a first time driver ?""

AAA insurance will only pay body shop?

Hi there, My mom was rear ended by an uninsured motorist while driving my car. I have uninsured motorist coverage and AAA estimated the damage to be approximately $1000. I own my car (it's paid off) and I would rather buy the bumper and someone I know replace the bumper, rather than go to the body shop of AAA's choice. AAA does not want to give me a check and is saying they want to pay a body shop to do it. Can they do this? I looked at my policy and it doesn't say anywhere that repair costs are to be paid to a body shop, rather than the car owner or driver. I certainly don't have anything signed that says that and there is nothing in my policy details. Thanks for your help!""

How much car insurance could I expect to pay?

I'm 35, clean licence since I was 18 but never owned my own car. I'm thinking of getting a BMW 3 series, 2 or 3 doors, no more than 2 l, live in a safe area of Sheffield. Could anyone give me a ball park figure?""

What to do when switching car insurance?

I am planning on switching car insurance providers b/c: 1.) My car got stolen 01/25/2013 and I only had liability coverage (car was a 1996 Nissan Maxima) 2.) I was hit in October 2012 and it was not my fault and received settlement money b/c my car was deemed a total loss 3.) With that money I put a down payment on a used car this past weekend b/c now I truly had no car 4.) I now need full coverage to my current policy and replace the old car with the newer one but the 6-month premium is too high. While shopping around for car insurance, I found an auto quote that was A LOT more affordable than if I were to stick with my current insurance. With that being said, I had a lot of questions. I got into a car accident in May 2012 and it was my fault. No one was hurt and no air bags deployed. My insurance paid the damages. Now, if I cancel my policy with them, does that mean that I have to pay the insurance company back the money for the damages they covered to the other car? My other question is how much information do I disclose when applying for a new auto policy? I have of course included the at-fault accident in May and I also included the accident that was not my fault. Before these 2 accidents, I had one just one that was in a parking lot. The other driver and I were deemed both at fault, 50/50. Damage to his car was around $700. That was 3 years ago. The insurance company I was looking into said online to include accidents that were at least 51% your fault and accidents that weren't your fault too. Do I include this accident too even tho it was 50/50? My last question is about speeding and points. I my first speeding ticket in June 2012. I got a reduced fine and went to traffic school so it wouldn't show up and get a point. Once again, while looking at auto quotes, they asked if I had a moving violation which includes speeding. Because I went to traffic school and everything, do I tell them about that too? Despite the bad luck I've had this past year with my driving record, I only have one point. The 50/50 accident will be off because it's the 3rd year. I live in CA and got this info from the DMV website: The length of time depends on the severity of the offense. Most points (illegal turn, not making a complete stop, driving over the speed limit, etc.) and/or accidents will stay on your driver record for 36 months (3 years). I've included the link: http://www.dmv.ca.gov/teenweb/more_btn6/points/points.htm Any advice and suggestions is greatly appreciated! Thanks!

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/getting-health-insurance-pre-existing-condition-ruby-holder"

[heliosfinance]

What My Ridiculous Parents Taught Me About Money

[Please welcome one half of the duo from DukeofDollars.com today, as Jack spills his heart here on all things financial he learned from growing up in a helluva toxic household, ugh… As a parent this KILLS ME, and I wish this upbringing on no kids out there! What is wrong with people????]

********

The first time I rode a four wheeler as a kid, my dad plopped me down on the machine without a helmet and pointed me at the trailhead. This same guy — we’ll call him Ronald, because he’s kind of a clown — then hopped on his mechanical high horse and proceeded to take off down the trail, yelling “Follow me!” behind him. A 90-degree corner immediately greeted me, and with my limited 20 feet experience of riding so far, I was bucked off the machine as it proceeded to climb straight up a tree. I cracked my head, and the four wheeler landed right on top of me.

After waiting a minute or two, I realized I was all on my own with this problem as Ronald was long gone. I mustered the strength to kick off this heavy burden, climbed back on top of that mofo, and then sped passed Ron while flipping him the bird.

That’s pretty much how my financial life started too: flat on my ass with an enormous weight holding me down and no parent in sight.

Lesson #1: Don’t Sell The Shares You Inherited and Blow The Proceeds on Four Wheelers!

Those same ATVs mentioned above? They were purchased from stock my parents inherited. I wasn’t privy to all the details, but the sum I guestimated they received was in the $50k – $100k range: invested in what my parents called “blue chips,” which was the first time I’d heard that phrase before. What I do know, however, is that a $15k chunk started its brief life under the tutelage of my parents as the bluest of blue stocks on the market: IBM.

In 1992, a single share of IBM was worth about $88 unadjusted for splits, meaning my parents possessed roughly 170 shares. Let’s assume that instead of rushing down to Honda Motorsports before the check even cleared, Ron and his wife had the foresight to hold onto this small fraction of their inheritance and just let it ride. They could’ve spent almost $29,000 in dividends to date and still be sitting on a split-adjusted 680 shares, which would now be worth over $95,000; the annual dividend for 2017 and beyond is projected to be > $3,800.

That’s a lot of Power Wheels.

When I draw lessons from this mistake, I look at not only the hypothetical end-result, but also what kind of mindset it would take to ride IBM from 1992 to 2017. Seven years into the experiment, IBM experienced a meteoric rise powered by the turbo booster of the tech bubble. The shares reached a high of roughly $138 in 1999, right about where the price sits today, nearly 20 years down the road. During the ensuing crash, IBM dipped below $60.

Depending on your mindset, it might’ve been tempting to sell at both the high and the low phases: lock in gains in the former, or salve your fear of further losses with the latter. The company was considered the unassailable stalwart of tech during the 90’s, but its waning market position redefined the business in investors’ eyes. Declining revenue and a lack of innovation has transformed the perception of IBM from a shining star to a washed-up has-been.

I try to focus much of my investing efforts on the hold part of buy-and-hold. In the case of IBM, a dividend powerhouse, I’d pool the dividends and invest in a different, more stable sector. Diversify not through selling, but by redirecting the increasingly fat dividend stream into other businesses.

Lesson #2: Maintain Your $hit or It Becomes Worthless

They lasted just two years. No, not my parents’ faltering marriage, still talking about those damn ATVs. It turns out that engines have this weird substance called “oil,” and it needs to be changed every now and then. Three gently-used automobiles later, my parents finally discovered that cars, too, also have this same strange substance in it.

The three cars: 1) Ford Explorer, 2) Mercury Sable, 3) Lincoln Town Car – all bought with < 40k miles, and all dead by 75k miles because of engine problems.

A dear relative of mine gifted me a granny car when I was 16. I loved and appreciated the crap out of that vehicle, old people smell and all. When I scurried off to college, a school that banned freshmen from parking vehicles on campus, my parents decided to reappropriate my car to my older sister for a year. She begrudgingly returned it with a dead inspection sticker soon after the school year ended. Yes, I got a ticket on my ride home.

Surprise, surprise: she too had never learned about oil. Within a week, I heard the familiar sound of a seizing engine. Fortunately, I was able to limp the car to my friend’s house where his girlfriend was palling around with this hot chick in a bikini who happened to be a mechanic’s daughter. Though I’d learned the lesson already, I pretended to be ignorant about checking fluids while she “assisted” me.

She’s now my wife.

The first time I met my future father-in-law, he towered over me, crushed my handshake, and told me, “Boy if you ever hurt my daughter, I’ll rip your head off and cram it up your ass.” The most productive man I ever met, he was always tinkering on something. When he helped me with a plumbing issue, I asked him how he knew what the problem was. He replied, “I had no idea. I just figure out how to take it apart and then figured out how to put it back together.”

That’s perhaps the best repair advice I’ve ever received. Everything comes apart somehow, even if it’s not obvious at first. As far as maintenance tasks go, I rely on reminders. Google calendar is set to nudge me whenever air filters need to be replaced, batteries charged, gutters cleaned, and yes – especially when oil needs changing.

Lesson #3: Cheating and Refusing to Pay Taxes Are – Go Figure – Illegal

Leave it to my parents to find a silver lining in a DIY storm cloud. They ended up donating all four totaled vehicles to a registered charity. Pretty generous, right? Except for the part where they forged the receipts to show that the cars were in pristine condition and worth 4x the correct stated value.

Tax time for ol’ Ronnie was a game he played with TurboTax – fudging every number until the exact moment that the software threw a red flag. It was an endless game of chicken with the IRS. Unclaimed income, fictitious and overstated donations, illegal claiming of dependents, falsified businesses, enormous home offices: if you can think of a way to cheat taxes, my parents did it.

Before I cut ties for good, I learned that they were outraged to have received a thick envelope from Uncle Sam. Those IBM divvy’s probably would’ve come in handy around the time Ronald & Company decided to burn the mysterious contents of that package.

Determined to be their antiprotégé, I once filed an amended return when I realized that tips weren’t automatically included in my pizza delivery summer job W2 to stay on the “good” side.

Lesson #4: Cigarettes and Drugs – A Surefire Path to Financial Ruin and Misery

Legal correspondence wasn’t my family’s favorite fuel. That award would be split between the cigarettes and the drugs. At the age of fourteen, I sneaked one of my parents’ cigs to see what the fuss was about. I ratted myself out with a nasty gagging fit on my first couple draws and was promptly scolded right after: par for the course for teenage mischief.

The next day, however, my parents gave me a pack of my own cigarettes so that I wouldn’t have to steal theirs. I smoked for four formative years until I landed my first office job and realized how much the habit would hold me back in the workplace. And by that time, the free cigarette train had run out of track.

With an hourly pay rate just a smidgen above minimum wage, it didn’t take me long to figure out how expensive it was to roll up and burn a $5 bill every day.

While cigarettes seared a massive hole in the household “budget,” at least they were legal. My drug dabbling experience, getting caught, and the resulting parental guidance all adhered to the same pattern as the tobacco. Drugs, however, were difficult for my parents to find. In me, they saw a budding conduit to the black market.

My relationship with my parents had been strained, to put it kindly, up until the moment they realized that I had nefarious connections. That revelation ushered in a brief golden age between father, mother, and son. They were oh-so-friendly during my mid-teens. Bless their hearts.

Ron was pulling in a solid income by this time frame, helped along by his thievery from the taxman. He approached the drug market much like a soccer mom at Costco – preferring to buy in bulk to secure the discounts. Behind the force of his seed capital, along with the entrepreneurship of the local high school slinger, a small narcotics empire quickly rose in my town. Faster than it had risen, the entire enterprise crashed down hard right after, tossing a few people straight into prison along its demise.

Miraculously, neither Ron nor I emerged with a scratch on our records. He employed me as a delivery driver specializing in felonious interstate transportation, nearly ruining my life before adulthood was even on the horizon. I was a child. His child. For this, forgiveness isn’t in the cards.

Between the ages of 15 and 18, I did glean a few useful money lessons throughout these illicit business ventures though. I learned about cost of goods sold, profit margins, inventory, goodwill with vendors, shrinkage, the compounding power of addictive consumerism, etc. One of my top investments to this day is an alcohol purveyor.

Most of all though, I started to learn about risk. I’ve read that the human brain doesn’t reach its full risk-processing power until age 25, and I know from experience that I was nearly blind to the concepts of probability and consequences as an adolescent. Nearing my mid-twenties, I began to realize just how mind-bogglingly reckless my teenage endeavors were regardless of whether I’d acted at the behest of my parents or not.

The whole clusterf*ck set into motion a deep-set sense of personal responsibility. I learned that I needed to take control of my own life, live up to my own standards, and then reap the rewards of my own hard work, while accepting the consequences of any misdeed that I committed on my own.

The Fallout

I eventually got out of the drug game. The first person that I ever cut out of my life was a young man I considered to be my best friend. He also happened to be the founder and CEO of my parents’ personal apothecary. Little did I know at the time, the night I watched a movie with him, shook his hand, and told him to never contact me again was also the beginning of the end of my parent-child relationship. What precious little of it remained, anyway.

As my underworld connections withered and died, my parents’ addictions grew ravenously. They latched on to as many mind-altering substances they could find to escape from the reality that their house was falling down all around them. And I mean that quite literally, not a metaphor at all.

Their master bathroom had sprung a leak, causing the tub to partially fall through the kitchen ceiling where it remained for a number of years – completely suspended above a mountain of dishes that stared back at the foreign visitor from upstairs, each neglected task accompanied by its own steady drip drip drip of water that seemed to spend all night debating with its counterpart over which quagmire would be resolved first.

I didn’t stick around long enough to find out who won.

One by one, major appliances choked out their last efforts. Water heater, washer, A/C, furnace: all met their demise over a $200 repair bill that Ron refused to pay, instead opting for a $200 baggie in its place. All the while, he pulled in a six figure income.

With financial ruin creeping up from behind, my parents found a frugal alternative to visiting the ghetto: they could manufacture the drugs themselves! I’m not aware of a federally sponsored comeuppance for this crime, but it’s only a matter of time. I still have nightmares of black helicopters and predawn raids.

Lesson #5: Running a Puppy Mill Inside Your House Might Not Be a Good Idea For Side Income

In a last-ditch effort to support their drug habits over their children, my parents turned to exploiting something even more defenseless: dogs.

Because affording a kennel was out of the question, the clown committee determined that the operation should be run indoors. Eventually all manner of canine bodily fluids spread across the floors and down the walls as up to 20 helpless, unvaccinated, creatures were forced to reproduce inside the crumbling confines of my parents’ nightmare.

One poor soul died of a perpetual and untreated kidney infection; he’d bay woefully as he urinated blood behind my father’s overused recliner. They were heartless enough to have named that dog Cash. I’d moved out well before the breeding began, and my bewildered parents wondered why I never came to visit any more.

Lesson #6: “I’ll Just Come Live With My Adult Child” Is Not a Valid Retirement Plan

When the eviction was finally enforced, my parents — considering themselves victims of the gravest injustices — turned to me for help, requiring assistance which absolutely must be delivered in the form of $30,000 cash.

I’ll never forget hearing the words on the phone from my mother, “You have good credit, right?”

Invitations from me to them became exceedingly rare, so they continuously strategized ways to drop in unannounced. Once when I was still under their roof and underage, my father decided to spend an entire year without speaking a single word to me. He returned to this antisocial mechanism later at my own house as he sat on my couch, uninvited and scowling, while his wife tried to coax a few dollars out from my pockets. And if I didn’t have any, then certainly I might have some drugs they could borrow, right?

That day didn’t end pleasantly, and the next time I heard from them, my parents extended an invitation for me to celebrate dear ol’ Dad on Father’s Day.

I didn’t show up. That single inaction, one decision of defiance, was my sole moment when I’d finally had enough. It unleashed a torrent of hatred. He compared my absence — my refusal to fete the fool — to the terrorist attacks on 9/11. My inbox, voicemail, and mailbox overflowed with verbal vomit. I responded with silence.

In the years that followed, I spoke just eight total words to him on two separate occasions: “Never contact me again” and “Leave my wife alone.” I didn’t owe him the time of day, much less an explanation.

Where We Are Today – A Position of Strength

That’s the origin of my quest for financial independence. Ronnie knew that my separation from my parents had something to do with money, but his thoughts on the matter were completely twisted. In his magnum opus on the fantasy of filicide, he wrote,

“I am sorry I didn’t save money for you, blahahahahaha. You did nothing to earn it. Parents owe their children nothing.”

The fact was I wanted nothing from my parents but love and respect. I may as well have asked for the moon. When I was 18, I discovered that I could leverage frugality and a decent income to build a fortress that no person could disturb. Money was my ticket out from under the thumb of an abusive upbringing, and I still get chills when I watch Mr. Collins’ rendition of “F*ck You Money.”

Now, I’m close to that position of ultimate financial strength. I live in my own house with my beautiful, loving wife, and our pets whose healthcare rivals that of a senator’s. All my appliances and vehicles work flawlessly, and I pay gobs of taxes each year. Every single person in my inner circles shares with me a mutual love and respect, and I’m not beholden to any addictive or destructive force whatsoever.

Life is good… And I don’t own any damn four wheelers!

*********

The Master Dukes of Dollars are the dynamic duo from The Duke of Dollars Kingdom. The two bloggers held court frequently, delving into lifestyle and personal finance discussions as they searched for ways to live an optimal life, eventually deciding to invite a global audience into their mindsets by establishing their own blog together. Chris is the younger of the two and recently launched his Great War on Debt soon after achieving a positive net worth, while Jack – the author of this guest post – is further down the road towards FIRE and is seeking a cure for onemoreyearitis. Their primary mission is to help others build their financial kingdoms, providing the world with a road-map that leads to a fortified personal monetary policy.

Want more stories like this? Check out these posts next:

My Life (And Finances) After Escaping a Cult

What Being Homeless Taught Me About Money and Happiness

Seeking Financial Stability as a Gay, Non-White, Man of Muslim Faith

[Photo up top NOT of Jack’s dad – it comes courtesy of zachandlinz on Flickr]

What My Ridiculous Parents Taught Me About Money published first on http://ift.tt/2ljLF4B

[heliosfinance]

What My Ridiculous Parents Taught Me About Money

[Please welcome one half of the duo from DukeofDollars.com today, as Jack spills his heart here on all things financial he learned from growing up in a helluva toxic household, ugh… As a parent this KILLS ME, and I wish this upbringing on no kids out there! What is wrong with people????]

********

The first time I rode a four wheeler as a kid, my dad plopped me down on the machine without a helmet and pointed me at the trailhead. This same guy — we’ll call him Ronald, because he’s kind of a clown — then hopped on his mechanical high horse and proceeded to take off down the trail, yelling “Follow me!” behind him. A 90-degree corner immediately greeted me, and with my limited 20 feet experience of riding so far, I was bucked off the machine as it proceeded to climb straight up a tree. I cracked my head, and the four wheeler landed right on top of me.

After waiting a minute or two, I realized I was all on my own with this problem as Ronald was long gone. I mustered the strength to kick off this heavy burden, climbed back on top of that mofo, and then sped passed Ron while flipping him the bird.

That’s pretty much how my financial life started too: flat on my ass with an enormous weight holding me down and no parent in sight.

Lesson #1: Don’t Sell The Shares You Inherited and Blow The Proceeds on Four Wheelers!

Those same ATVs mentioned above? They were purchased from stock my parents inherited. I wasn’t privy to all the details, but the sum I guestimated they received was in the $50k – $100k range: invested in what my parents called “blue chips,” which was the first time I’d heard that phrase before. What I do know, however, is that a $15k chunk started its brief life under the tutelage of my parents as the bluest of blue stocks on the market: IBM.

In 1992, a single share of IBM was worth about $88 unadjusted for splits, meaning my parents possessed roughly 170 shares. Let’s assume that instead of rushing down to Honda Motorsports before the check even cleared, Ron and his wife had the foresight to hold onto this small fraction of their inheritance and just let it ride. They could’ve spent almost $29,000 in dividends to date and still be sitting on a split-adjusted 680 shares, which would now be worth over $95,000; the annual dividend for 2017 and beyond is projected to be > $3,800.

That’s a lot of Power Wheels.

When I draw lessons from this mistake, I look at not only the hypothetical end-result, but also what kind of mindset it would take to ride IBM from 1992 to 2017. Seven years into the experiment, IBM experienced a meteoric rise powered by the turbo booster of the tech bubble. The shares reached a high of roughly $138 in 1999, right about where the price sits today, nearly 20 years down the road. During the ensuing crash, IBM dipped below $60.

Depending on your mindset, it might’ve been tempting to sell at both the high and the low phases: lock in gains in the former, or salve your fear of further losses with the latter. The company was considered the unassailable stalwart of tech during the 90’s, but its waning market position redefined the business in investors’ eyes. Declining revenue and a lack of innovation has transformed the perception of IBM from a shining star to a washed-up has-been.

I try to focus much of my investing efforts on the hold part of buy-and-hold. In the case of IBM, a dividend powerhouse, I’d pool the dividends and invest in a different, more stable sector. Diversify not through selling, but by redirecting the increasingly fat dividend stream into other businesses.

Lesson #2: Maintain Your $hit or It Becomes Worthless

They lasted just two years. No, not my parents’ faltering marriage, still talking about those damn ATVs. It turns out that engines have this weird substance called “oil,” and it needs to be changed every now and then. Three gently-used automobiles later, my parents finally discovered that cars, too, also have this same strange substance in it.

The three cars: 1) Ford Explorer, 2) Mercury Sable, 3) Lincoln Town Car – all bought with < 40k miles, and all dead by 75k miles because of engine problems.

A dear relative of mine gifted me a granny car when I was 16. I loved and appreciated the crap out of that vehicle, old people smell and all. When I scurried off to college, a school that banned freshmen from parking vehicles on campus, my parents decided to reappropriate my car to my older sister for a year. She begrudgingly returned it with a dead inspection sticker soon after the school year ended. Yes, I got a ticket on my ride home.

Surprise, surprise: she too had never learned about oil. Within a week, I heard the familiar sound of a seizing engine. Fortunately, I was able to limp the car to my friend’s house where his girlfriend was palling around with this hot chick in a bikini who happened to be a mechanic’s daughter. Though I’d learned the lesson already, I pretended to be ignorant about checking fluids while she “assisted” me.

She’s now my wife.

The first time I met my future father-in-law, he towered over me, crushed my handshake, and told me, “Boy if you ever hurt my daughter, I’ll rip your head off and cram it up your ass.” The most productive man I ever met, he was always tinkering on something. When he helped me with a plumbing issue, I asked him how he knew what the problem was. He replied, “I had no idea. I just figure out how to take it apart and then figured out how to put it back together.”

That’s perhaps the best repair advice I’ve ever received. Everything comes apart somehow, even if it’s not obvious at first. As far as maintenance tasks go, I rely on reminders. Google calendar is set to nudge me whenever air filters need to be replaced, batteries charged, gutters cleaned, and yes – especially when oil needs changing.

Lesson #3: Cheating and Refusing to Pay Taxes Are – Go Figure – Illegal

Leave it to my parents to find a silver lining in a DIY storm cloud. They ended up donating all four totaled vehicles to a registered charity. Pretty generous, right? Except for the part where they forged the receipts to show that the cars were in pristine condition and worth 4x the correct stated value.

Tax time for ol’ Ronnie was a game he played with TurboTax – fudging every number until the exact moment that the software threw a red flag. It was an endless game of chicken with the IRS. Unclaimed income, fictitious and overstated donations, illegal claiming of dependents, falsified businesses, enormous home offices: if you can think of a way to cheat taxes, my parents did it.

Before I cut ties for good, I learned that they were outraged to have received a thick envelope from Uncle Sam. Those IBM divvy’s probably would’ve come in handy around the time Ronald & Company decided to burn the mysterious contents of that package.

Determined to be their antiprotégé, I once filed an amended return when I realized that tips weren’t automatically included in my pizza delivery summer job W2 to stay on the “good” side.

Lesson #4: Cigarettes and Drugs – A Surefire Path to Financial Ruin and Misery

Legal correspondence wasn’t my family’s favorite fuel. That award would be split between the cigarettes and the drugs. At the age of fourteen, I sneaked one of my parents’ cigs to see what the fuss was about. I ratted myself out with a nasty gagging fit on my first couple draws and was promptly scolded right after: par for the course for teenage mischief.

The next day, however, my parents gave me a pack of my own cigarettes so that I wouldn’t have to steal theirs. I smoked for four formative years until I landed my first office job and realized how much the habit would hold me back in the workplace. And by that time, the free cigarette train had run out of track.

With an hourly pay rate just a smidgen above minimum wage, it didn’t take me long to figure out how expensive it was to roll up and burn a $5 bill every day.

While cigarettes seared a massive hole in the household “budget,” at least they were legal. My drug dabbling experience, getting caught, and the resulting parental guidance all adhered to the same pattern as the tobacco. Drugs, however, were difficult for my parents to find. In me, they saw a budding conduit to the black market.

My relationship with my parents had been strained, to put it kindly, up until the moment they realized that I had nefarious connections. That revelation ushered in a brief golden age between father, mother, and son. They were oh-so-friendly during my mid-teens. Bless their hearts.

Ron was pulling in a solid income by this time frame, helped along by his thievery from the taxman. He approached the drug market much like a soccer mom at Costco – preferring to buy in bulk to secure the discounts. Behind the force of his seed capital, along with the entrepreneurship of the local high school slinger, a small narcotics empire quickly rose in my town. Faster than it had risen, the entire enterprise crashed down hard right after, tossing a few people straight into prison along its demise.

Miraculously, neither Ron nor I emerged with a scratch on our records. He employed me as a delivery driver specializing in felonious interstate transportation, nearly ruining my life before adulthood was even on the horizon. I was a child. His child. For this, forgiveness isn’t in the cards.

Between the ages of 15 and 18, I did glean a few useful money lessons throughout these illicit business ventures though. I learned about cost of goods sold, profit margins, inventory, goodwill with vendors, shrinkage, the compounding power of addictive consumerism, etc. One of my top investments to this day is an alcohol purveyor.

Most of all though, I started to learn about risk. I’ve read that the human brain doesn’t reach its full risk-processing power until age 25, and I know from experience that I was nearly blind to the concepts of probability and consequences as an adolescent. Nearing my mid-twenties, I began to realize just how mind-bogglingly reckless my teenage endeavors were regardless of whether I’d acted at the behest of my parents or not.

The whole clusterf*ck set into motion a deep-set sense of personal responsibility. I learned that I needed to take control of my own life, live up to my own standards, and then reap the rewards of my own hard work, while accepting the consequences of any misdeed that I committed on my own.

The Fallout

I eventually got out of the drug game. The first person that I ever cut out of my life was a young man I considered to be my best friend. He also happened to be the founder and CEO of my parents’ personal apothecary. Little did I know at the time, the night I watched a movie with him, shook his hand, and told him to never contact me again was also the beginning of the end of my parent-child relationship. What precious little of it remained, anyway.

As my underworld connections withered and died, my parents’ addictions grew ravenously. They latched on to as many mind-altering substances they could find to escape from the reality that their house was falling down all around them. And I mean that quite literally, not a metaphor at all.

Their master bathroom had sprung a leak, causing the tub to partially fall through the kitchen ceiling where it remained for a number of years – completely suspended above a mountain of dishes that stared back at the foreign visitor from upstairs, each neglected task accompanied by its own steady drip drip drip of water that seemed to spend all night debating with its counterpart over which quagmire would be resolved first.

I didn’t stick around long enough to find out who won.

One by one, major appliances choked out their last efforts. Water heater, washer, A/C, furnace: all met their demise over a $200 repair bill that Ron refused to pay, instead opting for a $200 baggie in its place. All the while, he pulled in a six figure income.

With financial ruin creeping up from behind, my parents found a frugal alternative to visiting the ghetto: they could manufacture the drugs themselves! I’m not aware of a federally sponsored comeuppance for this crime, but it’s only a matter of time. I still have nightmares of black helicopters and predawn raids.

Lesson #5: Running a Puppy Mill Inside Your House Might Not Be a Good Idea For Side Income

In a last-ditch effort to support their drug habits over their children, my parents turned to exploiting something even more defenseless: dogs.

Because affording a kennel was out of the question, the clown committee determined that the operation should be run indoors. Eventually all manner of canine bodily fluids spread across the floors and down the walls as up to 20 helpless, unvaccinated, creatures were forced to reproduce inside the crumbling confines of my parents’ nightmare.

One poor soul died of a perpetual and untreated kidney infection; he’d bay woefully as he urinated blood behind my father’s overused recliner. They were heartless enough to have named that dog Cash. I’d moved out well before the breeding began, and my bewildered parents wondered why I never came to visit any more.

Lesson #6: “I’ll Just Come Live With My Adult Child” Is Not a Valid Retirement Plan

When the eviction was finally enforced, my parents — considering themselves victims of the gravest injustices — turned to me for help, requiring assistance which absolutely must be delivered in the form of $30,000 cash.

I’ll never forget hearing the words on the phone from my mother, “You have good credit, right?”

Invitations from me to them became exceedingly rare, so they continuously strategized ways to drop in unannounced. Once when I was still under their roof and underage, my father decided to spend an entire year without speaking a single word to me. He returned to this antisocial mechanism later at my own house as he sat on my couch, uninvited and scowling, while his wife tried to coax a few dollars out from my pockets. And if I didn’t have any, then certainly I might have some drugs they could borrow, right?

That day didn’t end pleasantly, and the next time I heard from them, my parents extended an invitation for me to celebrate dear ol’ Dad on Father’s Day.

I didn’t show up. That single inaction, one decision of defiance, was my sole moment when I’d finally had enough. It unleashed a torrent of hatred. He compared my absence — my refusal to fete the fool — to the terrorist attacks on 9/11. My inbox, voicemail, and mailbox overflowed with verbal vomit. I responded with silence.

In the years that followed, I spoke just eight total words to him on two separate occasions: “Never contact me again” and “Leave my wife alone.” I didn’t owe him the time of day, much less an explanation.

Where We Are Today – A Position of Strength

That’s the origin of my quest for financial independence. Ronnie knew that my separation from my parents had something to do with money, but his thoughts on the matter were completely twisted. In his magnum opus on the fantasy of filicide, he wrote,

“I am sorry I didn’t save money for you, blahahahahaha. You did nothing to earn it. Parents owe their children nothing.”

The fact was I wanted nothing from my parents but love and respect. I may as well have asked for the moon. When I was 18, I discovered that I could leverage frugality and a decent income to build a fortress that no person could disturb. Money was my ticket out from under the thumb of an abusive upbringing, and I still get chills when I watch Mr. Collins’ rendition of “F*ck You Money.”

Now, I’m close to that position of ultimate financial strength. I live in my own house with my beautiful, loving wife, and our pets whose healthcare rivals that of a senator’s. All my appliances and vehicles work flawlessly, and I pay gobs of taxes each year. Every single person in my inner circles shares with me a mutual love and respect, and I’m not beholden to any addictive or destructive force whatsoever.

Life is good… And I don’t own any damn four wheelers!

*********

The Master Dukes of Dollars are the dynamic duo from The Duke of Dollars Kingdom. The two bloggers held court frequently, delving into lifestyle and personal finance discussions as they searched for ways to live an optimal life, eventually deciding to invite a global audience into their mindsets by establishing their own blog together. Chris is the younger of the two and recently launched his Great War on Debt soon after achieving a positive net worth, while Jack – the author of this guest post – is further down the road towards FIRE and is seeking a cure for onemoreyearitis. Their primary mission is to help others build their financial kingdoms, providing the world with a road-map that leads to a fortified personal monetary policy.

Want more stories like this? Check out these posts next:

My Life (And Finances) After Escaping a Cult

What Being Homeless Taught Me About Money and Happiness

Seeking Financial Stability as a Gay, Non-White, Man of Muslim Faith

[Photo up top NOT of Jack’s dad – it comes courtesy of zachandlinz on Flickr]

What My Ridiculous Parents Taught Me About Money published first on http://ift.tt/2ljLF4B

[fesahaawit]

What My Ridiculous Parents Taught Me About Money

[Please welcome one half of the duo from DukeofDollars.com today, as Jack spills his heart here on all things financial he learned from growing up in a helluva toxic household, ugh… As a parent this KILLS ME, and I wish this upbringing on no kids out there! What is wrong with people????]

********

The first time I rode a four wheeler as a kid, my dad plopped me down on the machine without a helmet and pointed me at the trailhead. This same guy — we’ll call him Ronald, because he’s kind of a clown — then hopped on his mechanical high horse and proceeded to take off down the trail, yelling “Follow me!” behind him. A 90-degree corner immediately greeted me, and with my limited 20 feet experience of riding so far, I was bucked off the machine as it proceeded to climb straight up a tree. I cracked my head, and the four wheeler landed right on top of me.

After waiting a minute or two, I realized I was all on my own with this problem as Ronald was long gone. I mustered the strength to kick off this heavy burden, climbed back on top of that mofo, and then sped passed Ron while flipping him the bird.

That’s pretty much how my financial life started too: flat on my ass with an enormous weight holding me down and no parent in sight.

Lesson #1: Don’t Sell The Shares You Inherited and Blow The Proceeds on Four Wheelers!

Those same ATVs mentioned above? They were purchased from stock my parents inherited. I wasn’t privy to all the details, but the sum I guestimated they received was in the $50k – $100k range: invested in what my parents called “blue chips,” which was the first time I’d heard that phrase before. What I do know, however, is that a $15k chunk started its brief life under the tutelage of my parents as the bluest of blue stocks on the market: IBM.

In 1992, a single share of IBM was worth about $88 unadjusted for splits, meaning my parents possessed roughly 170 shares. Let’s assume that instead of rushing down to Honda Motorsports before the check even cleared, Ron and his wife had the foresight to hold onto this small fraction of their inheritance and just let it ride. They could’ve spent almost $29,000 in dividends to date and still be sitting on a split-adjusted 680 shares, which would now be worth over $95,000; the annual dividend for 2017 and beyond is projected to be > $3,800.

That’s a lot of Power Wheels.

When I draw lessons from this mistake, I look at not only the hypothetical end-result, but also what kind of mindset it would take to ride IBM from 1992 to 2017. Seven years into the experiment, IBM experienced a meteoric rise powered by the turbo booster of the tech bubble. The shares reached a high of roughly $138 in 1999, right about where the price sits today, nearly 20 years down the road. During the ensuing crash, IBM dipped below $60.

Depending on your mindset, it might’ve been tempting to sell at both the high and the low phases: lock in gains in the former, or salve your fear of further losses with the latter. The company was considered the unassailable stalwart of tech during the 90’s, but its waning market position redefined the business in investors’ eyes. Declining revenue and a lack of innovation has transformed the perception of IBM from a shining star to a washed-up has-been.

I try to focus much of my investing efforts on the hold part of buy-and-hold. In the case of IBM, a dividend powerhouse, I’d pool the dividends and invest in a different, more stable sector. Diversify not through selling, but by redirecting the increasingly fat dividend stream into other businesses.

Lesson #2: Maintain Your $hit or It Becomes Worthless

They lasted just two years. No, not my parents’ faltering marriage, still talking about those damn ATVs. It turns out that engines have this weird substance called “oil,” and it needs to be changed every now and then. Three gently-used automobiles later, my parents finally discovered that cars, too, also have this same strange substance in it.

The three cars: 1) Ford Explorer, 2) Mercury Sable, 3) Lincoln Town Car – all bought with < 40k miles, and all dead by 75k miles because of engine problems.

A dear relative of mine gifted me a granny car when I was 16. I loved and appreciated the crap out of that vehicle, old people smell and all. When I scurried off to college, a school that banned freshmen from parking vehicles on campus, my parents decided to reappropriate my car to my older sister for a year. She begrudgingly returned it with a dead inspection sticker soon after the school year ended. Yes, I got a ticket on my ride home.

Surprise, surprise: she too had never learned about oil. Within a week, I heard the familiar sound of a seizing engine. Fortunately, I was able to limp the car to my friend’s house where his girlfriend was palling around with this hot chick in a bikini who happened to be a mechanic’s daughter. Though I’d learned the lesson already, I pretended to be ignorant about checking fluids while she “assisted” me.

She’s now my wife.

The first time I met my future father-in-law, he towered over me, crushed my handshake, and told me, “Boy if you ever hurt my daughter, I’ll rip your head off and cram it up your ass.” The most productive man I ever met, he was always tinkering on something. When he helped me with a plumbing issue, I asked him how he knew what the problem was. He replied, “I had no idea. I just figure out how to take it apart and then figured out how to put it back together.”

That’s perhaps the best repair advice I’ve ever received. Everything comes apart somehow, even if it’s not obvious at first. As far as maintenance tasks go, I rely on reminders. Google calendar is set to nudge me whenever air filters need to be replaced, batteries charged, gutters cleaned, and yes – especially when oil needs changing.

Lesson #3: Cheating and Refusing to Pay Taxes Are – Go Figure – Illegal

Leave it to my parents to find a silver lining in a DIY storm cloud. They ended up donating all four totaled vehicles to a registered charity. Pretty generous, right? Except for the part where they forged the receipts to show that the cars were in pristine condition and worth 4x the correct stated value.

Tax time for ol’ Ronnie was a game he played with TurboTax – fudging every number until the exact moment that the software threw a red flag. It was an endless game of chicken with the IRS. Unclaimed income, fictitious and overstated donations, illegal claiming of dependents, falsified businesses, enormous home offices: if you can think of a way to cheat taxes, my parents did it.

Before I cut ties for good, I learned that they were outraged to have received a thick envelope from Uncle Sam. Those IBM divvy’s probably would’ve come in handy around the time Ronald & Company decided to burn the mysterious contents of that package.

Determined to be their antiprotégé, I once filed an amended return when I realized that tips weren’t automatically included in my pizza delivery summer job W2 to stay on the “good” side.

Lesson #4: Cigarettes and Drugs – A Surefire Path to Financial Ruin and Misery

Legal correspondence wasn’t my family’s favorite fuel. That award would be split between the cigarettes and the drugs. At the age of fourteen, I sneaked one of my parents’ cigs to see what the fuss was about. I ratted myself out with a nasty gagging fit on my first couple draws and was promptly scolded right after: par for the course for teenage mischief.

The next day, however, my parents gave me a pack of my own cigarettes so that I wouldn’t have to steal theirs. I smoked for four formative years until I landed my first office job and realized how much the habit would hold me back in the workplace. And by that time, the free cigarette train had run out of track.

With an hourly pay rate just a smidgen above minimum wage, it didn’t take me long to figure out how expensive it was to roll up and burn a $5 bill every day.

While cigarettes seared a massive hole in the household “budget,” at least they were legal. My drug dabbling experience, getting caught, and the resulting parental guidance all adhered to the same pattern as the tobacco. Drugs, however, were difficult for my parents to find. In me, they saw a budding conduit to the black market.

My relationship with my parents had been strained, to put it kindly, up until the moment they realized that I had nefarious connections. That revelation ushered in a brief golden age between father, mother, and son. They were oh-so-friendly during my mid-teens. Bless their hearts.

Ron was pulling in a solid income by this time frame, helped along by his thievery from the taxman. He approached the drug market much like a soccer mom at Costco – preferring to buy in bulk to secure the discounts. Behind the force of his seed capital, along with the entrepreneurship of the local high school slinger, a small narcotics empire quickly rose in my town. Faster than it had risen, the entire enterprise crashed down hard right after, tossing a few people straight into prison along its demise.

Miraculously, neither Ron nor I emerged with a scratch on our records. He employed me as a delivery driver specializing in felonious interstate transportation, nearly ruining my life before adulthood was even on the horizon. I was a child. His child. For this, forgiveness isn’t in the cards.

Between the ages of 15 and 18, I did glean a few useful money lessons throughout these illicit business ventures though. I learned about cost of goods sold, profit margins, inventory, goodwill with vendors, shrinkage, the compounding power of addictive consumerism, etc. One of my top investments to this day is an alcohol purveyor.

Most of all though, I started to learn about risk. I’ve read that the human brain doesn’t reach its full risk-processing power until age 25, and I know from experience that I was nearly blind to the concepts of probability and consequences as an adolescent. Nearing my mid-twenties, I began to realize just how mind-bogglingly reckless my teenage endeavors were regardless of whether I’d acted at the behest of my parents or not.

The whole clusterf*ck set into motion a deep-set sense of personal responsibility. I learned that I needed to take control of my own life, live up to my own standards, and then reap the rewards of my own hard work, while accepting the consequences of any misdeed that I committed on my own.

The Fallout

I eventually got out of the drug game. The first person that I ever cut out of my life was a young man I considered to be my best friend. He also happened to be the founder and CEO of my parents’ personal apothecary. Little did I know at the time, the night I watched a movie with him, shook his hand, and told him to never contact me again was also the beginning of the end of my parent-child relationship. What precious little of it remained, anyway.

As my underworld connections withered and died, my parents’ addictions grew ravenously. They latched on to as many mind-altering substances they could find to escape from the reality that their house was falling down all around them. And I mean that quite literally, not a metaphor at all.

Their master bathroom had sprung a leak, causing the tub to partially fall through the kitchen ceiling where it remained for a number of years – completely suspended above a mountain of dishes that stared back at the foreign visitor from upstairs, each neglected task accompanied by its own steady drip drip drip of water that seemed to spend all night debating with its counterpart over which quagmire would be resolved first.

I didn’t stick around long enough to find out who won.

One by one, major appliances choked out their last efforts. Water heater, washer, A/C, furnace: all met their demise over a $200 repair bill that Ron refused to pay, instead opting for a $200 baggie in its place. All the while, he pulled in a six figure income.

With financial ruin creeping up from behind, my parents found a frugal alternative to visiting the ghetto: they could manufacture the drugs themselves! I’m not aware of a federally sponsored comeuppance for this crime, but it’s only a matter of time. I still have nightmares of black helicopters and predawn raids.

Lesson #5: Running a Puppy Mill Inside Your House Might Not Be a Good Idea For Side Income

In a last-ditch effort to support their drug habits over their children, my parents turned to exploiting something even more defenseless: dogs.

Because affording a kennel was out of the question, the clown committee determined that the operation should be run indoors. Eventually all manner of canine bodily fluids spread across the floors and down the walls as up to 20 helpless, unvaccinated, creatures were forced to reproduce inside the crumbling confines of my parents’ nightmare.

One poor soul died of a perpetual and untreated kidney infection; he’d bay woefully as he urinated blood behind my father’s overused recliner. They were heartless enough to have named that dog Cash. I’d moved out well before the breeding began, and my bewildered parents wondered why I never came to visit any more.

Lesson #6: “I’ll Just Come Live With My Adult Child” Is Not a Valid Retirement Plan

When the eviction was finally enforced, my parents — considering themselves victims of the gravest injustices — turned to me for help, requiring assistance which absolutely must be delivered in the form of $30,000 cash.

I’ll never forget hearing the words on the phone from my mother, “You have good credit, right?”

Invitations from me to them became exceedingly rare, so they continuously strategized ways to drop in unannounced. Once when I was still under their roof and underage, my father decided to spend an entire year without speaking a single word to me. He returned to this antisocial mechanism later at my own house as he sat on my couch, uninvited and scowling, while his wife tried to coax a few dollars out from my pockets. And if I didn’t have any, then certainly I might have some drugs they could borrow, right?

That day didn’t end pleasantly, and the next time I heard from them, my parents extended an invitation for me to celebrate dear ol’ Dad on Father’s Day.

I didn’t show up. That single inaction, one decision of defiance, was my sole moment when I’d finally had enough. It unleashed a torrent of hatred. He compared my absence — my refusal to fete the fool — to the terrorist attacks on 9/11. My inbox, voicemail, and mailbox overflowed with verbal vomit. I responded with silence.

In the years that followed, I spoke just eight total words to him on two separate occasions: “Never contact me again” and “Leave my wife alone.” I didn’t owe him the time of day, much less an explanation.

Where We Are Today – A Position of Strength

That’s the origin of my quest for financial independence. Ronnie knew that my separation from my parents had something to do with money, but his thoughts on the matter were completely twisted. In his magnum opus on the fantasy of filicide, he wrote,

“I am sorry I didn’t save money for you, blahahahahaha. You did nothing to earn it. Parents owe their children nothing.”

The fact was I wanted nothing from my parents but love and respect. I may as well have asked for the moon. When I was 18, I discovered that I could leverage frugality and a decent income to build a fortress that no person could disturb. Money was my ticket out from under the thumb of an abusive upbringing, and I still get chills when I watch Mr. Collins’ rendition of “F*ck You Money.”

Now, I’m close to that position of ultimate financial strength. I live in my own house with my beautiful, loving wife, and our pets whose healthcare rivals that of a senator’s. All my appliances and vehicles work flawlessly, and I pay gobs of taxes each year. Every single person in my inner circles shares with me a mutual love and respect, and I’m not beholden to any addictive or destructive force whatsoever.

Life is good… And I don’t own any damn four wheelers!

*********

The Master Dukes of Dollars are the dynamic duo from The Duke of Dollars Kingdom. The two bloggers held court frequently, delving into lifestyle and personal finance discussions as they searched for ways to live an optimal life, eventually deciding to invite a global audience into their mindsets by establishing their own blog together. Chris is the younger of the two and recently launched his Great War on Debt soon after achieving a positive net worth, while Jack – the author of this guest post – is further down the road towards FIRE and is seeking a cure for onemoreyearitis. Their primary mission is to help others build their financial kingdoms, providing the world with a road-map that leads to a fortified personal monetary policy.

Want more stories like this? Check out these posts next:

My Life (And Finances) After Escaping a Cult

What Being Homeless Taught Me About Money and Happiness

Seeking Financial Stability as a Gay, Non-White, Man of Muslim Faith

[Photo up top NOT of Jack’s dad – it comes courtesy of zachandlinz on Flickr]

What My Ridiculous Parents Taught Me About Money posted first on http://ift.tt/2lnwIdQ

[heliosfinance]

What My Ridiculous Parents Taught Me About Money

[Please welcome one half of the duo from DukeofDollars.com today, as Jack spills his heart here on all things financial he learned from growing up in a helluva toxic household, ugh… As a parent this KILLS ME, and I wish this upbringing on no kids out there! What is wrong with people????]

********

The first time I rode a four wheeler as a kid, my dad plopped me down on the machine without a helmet and pointed me at the trailhead. This same guy — we’ll call him Ronald, because he’s kind of a clown — then hopped on his mechanical high horse and proceeded to take off down the trail, yelling “Follow me!” behind him. A 90-degree corner immediately greeted me, and with my limited 20 feet experience of riding so far, I was bucked off the machine as it proceeded to climb straight up a tree. I cracked my head, and the four wheeler landed right on top of me.

After waiting a minute or two, I realized I was all on my own with this problem as Ronald was long gone. I mustered the strength to kick off this heavy burden, climbed back on top of that mofo, and then sped passed Ron while flipping him the bird.

That’s pretty much how my financial life started too: flat on my ass with an enormous weight holding me down and no parent in sight.

Lesson #1: Don’t Sell The Shares You Inherited and Blow The Proceeds on Four Wheelers!

Those same ATVs mentioned above? They were purchased from stock my parents inherited. I wasn’t privy to all the details, but the sum I guestimated they received was in the $50k – $100k range: invested in what my parents called “blue chips,” which was the first time I’d heard that phrase before. What I do know, however, is that a $15k chunk started its brief life under the tutelage of my parents as the bluest of blue stocks on the market: IBM.

In 1992, a single share of IBM was worth about $88 unadjusted for splits, meaning my parents possessed roughly 170 shares. Let’s assume that instead of rushing down to Honda Motorsports before the check even cleared, Ron and his wife had the foresight to hold onto this small fraction of their inheritance and just let it ride. They could’ve spent almost $29,000 in dividends to date and still be sitting on a split-adjusted 680 shares, which would now be worth over $95,000; the annual dividend for 2017 and beyond is projected to be > $3,800.

That’s a lot of Power Wheels.

When I draw lessons from this mistake, I look at not only the hypothetical end-result, but also what kind of mindset it would take to ride IBM from 1992 to 2017. Seven years into the experiment, IBM experienced a meteoric rise powered by the turbo booster of the tech bubble. The shares reached a high of roughly $138 in 1999, right about where the price sits today, nearly 20 years down the road. During the ensuing crash, IBM dipped below $60.

Depending on your mindset, it might’ve been tempting to sell at both the high and the low phases: lock in gains in the former, or salve your fear of further losses with the latter. The company was considered the unassailable stalwart of tech during the 90’s, but its waning market position redefined the business in investors’ eyes. Declining revenue and a lack of innovation has transformed the perception of IBM from a shining star to a washed-up has-been.

I try to focus much of my investing efforts on the hold part of buy-and-hold. In the case of IBM, a dividend powerhouse, I’d pool the dividends and invest in a different, more stable sector. Diversify not through selling, but by redirecting the increasingly fat dividend stream into other businesses.

Lesson #2: Maintain Your $hit or It Becomes Worthless

They lasted just two years. No, not my parents’ faltering marriage, still talking about those damn ATVs. It turns out that engines have this weird substance called “oil,” and it needs to be changed every now and then. Three gently-used automobiles later, my parents finally discovered that cars, too, also have this same strange substance in it.

The three cars: 1) Ford Explorer, 2) Mercury Sable, 3) Lincoln Town Car – all bought with < 40k miles, and all dead by 75k miles because of engine problems.

A dear relative of mine gifted me a granny car when I was 16. I loved and appreciated the crap out of that vehicle, old people smell and all. When I scurried off to college, a school that banned freshmen from parking vehicles on campus, my parents decided to reappropriate my car to my older sister for a year. She begrudgingly returned it with a dead inspection sticker soon after the school year ended. Yes, I got a ticket on my ride home.

Surprise, surprise: she too had never learned about oil. Within a week, I heard the familiar sound of a seizing engine. Fortunately, I was able to limp the car to my friend’s house where his girlfriend was palling around with this hot chick in a bikini who happened to be a mechanic’s daughter. Though I’d learned the lesson already, I pretended to be ignorant about checking fluids while she “assisted” me.

She’s now my wife.

The first time I met my future father-in-law, he towered over me, crushed my handshake, and told me, “Boy if you ever hurt my daughter, I’ll rip your head off and cram it up your ass.” The most productive man I ever met, he was always tinkering on something. When he helped me with a plumbing issue, I asked him how he knew what the problem was. He replied, “I had no idea. I just figure out how to take it apart and then figured out how to put it back together.”

That’s perhaps the best repair advice I’ve ever received. Everything comes apart somehow, even if it’s not obvious at first. As far as maintenance tasks go, I rely on reminders. Google calendar is set to nudge me whenever air filters need to be replaced, batteries charged, gutters cleaned, and yes – especially when oil needs changing.

Lesson #3: Cheating and Refusing to Pay Taxes Are – Go Figure – Illegal

Leave it to my parents to find a silver lining in a DIY storm cloud. They ended up donating all four totaled vehicles to a registered charity. Pretty generous, right? Except for the part where they forged the receipts to show that the cars were in pristine condition and worth 4x the correct stated value.

Tax time for ol’ Ronnie was a game he played with TurboTax – fudging every number until the exact moment that the software threw a red flag. It was an endless game of chicken with the IRS. Unclaimed income, fictitious and overstated donations, illegal claiming of dependents, falsified businesses, enormous home offices: if you can think of a way to cheat taxes, my parents did it.

Before I cut ties for good, I learned that they were outraged to have received a thick envelope from Uncle Sam. Those IBM divvy’s probably would’ve come in handy around the time Ronald & Company decided to burn the mysterious contents of that package.

Determined to be their antiprotégé, I once filed an amended return when I realized that tips weren’t automatically included in my pizza delivery summer job W2 to stay on the “good” side.

Lesson #4: Cigarettes and Drugs – A Surefire Path to Financial Ruin and Misery

Legal correspondence wasn’t my family’s favorite fuel. That award would be split between the cigarettes and the drugs. At the age of fourteen, I sneaked one of my parents’ cigs to see what the fuss was about. I ratted myself out with a nasty gagging fit on my first couple draws and was promptly scolded right after: par for the course for teenage mischief.

The next day, however, my parents gave me a pack of my own cigarettes so that I wouldn’t have to steal theirs. I smoked for four formative years until I landed my first office job and realized how much the habit would hold me back in the workplace. And by that time, the free cigarette train had run out of track.

With an hourly pay rate just a smidgen above minimum wage, it didn’t take me long to figure out how expensive it was to roll up and burn a $5 bill every day.

While cigarettes seared a massive hole in the household “budget,” at least they were legal. My drug dabbling experience, getting caught, and the resulting parental guidance all adhered to the same pattern as the tobacco. Drugs, however, were difficult for my parents to find. In me, they saw a budding conduit to the black market.

My relationship with my parents had been strained, to put it kindly, up until the moment they realized that I had nefarious connections. That revelation ushered in a brief golden age between father, mother, and son. They were oh-so-friendly during my mid-teens. Bless their hearts.

Ron was pulling in a solid income by this time frame, helped along by his thievery from the taxman. He approached the drug market much like a soccer mom at Costco – preferring to buy in bulk to secure the discounts. Behind the force of his seed capital, along with the entrepreneurship of the local high school slinger, a small narcotics empire quickly rose in my town. Faster than it had risen, the entire enterprise crashed down hard right after, tossing a few people straight into prison along its demise.

Miraculously, neither Ron nor I emerged with a scratch on our records. He employed me as a delivery driver specializing in felonious interstate transportation, nearly ruining my life before adulthood was even on the horizon. I was a child. His child. For this, forgiveness isn’t in the cards.

Between the ages of 15 and 18, I did glean a few useful money lessons throughout these illicit business ventures though. I learned about cost of goods sold, profit margins, inventory, goodwill with vendors, shrinkage, the compounding power of addictive consumerism, etc. One of my top investments to this day is an alcohol purveyor.

Most of all though, I started to learn about risk. I’ve read that the human brain doesn’t reach its full risk-processing power until age 25, and I know from experience that I was nearly blind to the concepts of probability and consequences as an adolescent. Nearing my mid-twenties, I began to realize just how mind-bogglingly reckless my teenage endeavors were regardless of whether I’d acted at the behest of my parents or not.

The whole clusterf*ck set into motion a deep-set sense of personal responsibility. I learned that I needed to take control of my own life, live up to my own standards, and then reap the rewards of my own hard work, while accepting the consequences of any misdeed that I committed on my own.

The Fallout

I eventually got out of the drug game. The first person that I ever cut out of my life was a young man I considered to be my best friend. He also happened to be the founder and CEO of my parents’ personal apothecary. Little did I know at the time, the night I watched a movie with him, shook his hand, and told him to never contact me again was also the beginning of the end of my parent-child relationship. What precious little of it remained, anyway.

As my underworld connections withered and died, my parents’ addictions grew ravenously. They latched on to as many mind-altering substances they could find to escape from the reality that their house was falling down all around them. And I mean that quite literally, not a metaphor at all.

Their master bathroom had sprung a leak, causing the tub to partially fall through the kitchen ceiling where it remained for a number of years – completely suspended above a mountain of dishes that stared back at the foreign visitor from upstairs, each neglected task accompanied by its own steady drip drip drip of water that seemed to spend all night debating with its counterpart over which quagmire would be resolved first.

I didn’t stick around long enough to find out who won.

One by one, major appliances choked out their last efforts. Water heater, washer, A/C, furnace: all met their demise over a $200 repair bill that Ron refused to pay, instead opting for a $200 baggie in its place. All the while, he pulled in a six figure income.

With financial ruin creeping up from behind, my parents found a frugal alternative to visiting the ghetto: they could manufacture the drugs themselves! I’m not aware of a federally sponsored comeuppance for this crime, but it’s only a matter of time. I still have nightmares of black helicopters and predawn raids.

Lesson #5: Running a Puppy Mill Inside Your House Might Not Be a Good Idea For Side Income

In a last-ditch effort to support their drug habits over their children, my parents turned to exploiting something even more defenseless: dogs.

Because affording a kennel was out of the question, the clown committee determined that the operation should be run indoors. Eventually all manner of canine bodily fluids spread across the floors and down the walls as up to 20 helpless, unvaccinated, creatures were forced to reproduce inside the crumbling confines of my parents’ nightmare.

One poor soul died of a perpetual and untreated kidney infection; he’d bay woefully as he urinated blood behind my father’s overused recliner. They were heartless enough to have named that dog Cash. I’d moved out well before the breeding began, and my bewildered parents wondered why I never came to visit any more.

Lesson #6: “I’ll Just Come Live With My Adult Child” Is Not a Valid Retirement Plan

When the eviction was finally enforced, my parents — considering themselves victims of the gravest injustices — turned to me for help, requiring assistance which absolutely must be delivered in the form of $30,000 cash.

I’ll never forget hearing the words on the phone from my mother, “You have good credit, right?”

Invitations from me to them became exceedingly rare, so they continuously strategized ways to drop in unannounced. Once when I was still under their roof and underage, my father decided to spend an entire year without speaking a single word to me. He returned to this antisocial mechanism later at my own house as he sat on my couch, uninvited and scowling, while his wife tried to coax a few dollars out from my pockets. And if I didn’t have any, then certainly I might have some drugs they could borrow, right?

That day didn’t end pleasantly, and the next time I heard from them, my parents extended an invitation for me to celebrate dear ol’ Dad on Father’s Day.

I didn’t show up. That single inaction, one decision of defiance, was my sole moment when I’d finally had enough. It unleashed a torrent of hatred. He compared my absence — my refusal to fete the fool — to the terrorist attacks on 9/11. My inbox, voicemail, and mailbox overflowed with verbal vomit. I responded with silence.

In the years that followed, I spoke just eight total words to him on two separate occasions: “Never contact me again” and “Leave my wife alone.” I didn’t owe him the time of day, much less an explanation.

Where We Are Today – A Position of Strength

That’s the origin of my quest for financial independence. Ronnie knew that my separation from my parents had something to do with money, but his thoughts on the matter were completely twisted. In his magnum opus on the fantasy of filicide, he wrote,

“I am sorry I didn’t save money for you, blahahahahaha. You did nothing to earn it. Parents owe their children nothing.”

The fact was I wanted nothing from my parents but love and respect. I may as well have asked for the moon. When I was 18, I discovered that I could leverage frugality and a decent income to build a fortress that no person could disturb. Money was my ticket out from under the thumb of an abusive upbringing, and I still get chills when I watch Mr. Collins’ rendition of “F*ck You Money.”

Now, I’m close to that position of ultimate financial strength. I live in my own house with my beautiful, loving wife, and our pets whose healthcare rivals that of a senator’s. All my appliances and vehicles work flawlessly, and I pay gobs of taxes each year. Every single person in my inner circles shares with me a mutual love and respect, and I’m not beholden to any addictive or destructive force whatsoever.

Life is good… And I don’t own any damn four wheelers!

*********

The Master Dukes of Dollars are the dynamic duo from The Duke of Dollars Kingdom. The two bloggers held court frequently, delving into lifestyle and personal finance discussions as they searched for ways to live an optimal life, eventually deciding to invite a global audience into their mindsets by establishing their own blog together. Chris is the younger of the two and recently launched his Great War on Debt soon after achieving a positive net worth, while Jack – the author of this guest post – is further down the road towards FIRE and is seeking a cure for onemoreyearitis. Their primary mission is to help others build their financial kingdoms, providing the world with a road-map that leads to a fortified personal monetary policy.

Want more stories like this? Check out these posts next:

My Life (And Finances) After Escaping a Cult

What Being Homeless Taught Me About Money and Happiness

Seeking Financial Stability as a Gay, Non-White, Man of Muslim Faith

[Photo up top NOT of Jack’s dad – it comes courtesy of zachandlinz on Flickr]

What My Ridiculous Parents Taught Me About Money published first on http://ift.tt/2ljLF4B

[fesahaawit]

6 Things My Ridiculous Parents Taught Me About Money

[Please welcome one half of the duo from DukeofDollars.com today, as Jack spills his heart here on all things financial he learned from growing up in a helluva toxic household, ugh… As a parent this KILLS ME, and I wish this upbringing on no kids out there! What is wrong with people????]

********

The first time I rode a four wheeler as a kid, my dad plopped me down on the machine without a helmet and pointed me at the trailhead. This same guy — we’ll call him Ronald, because he’s kind of a clown — then hopped on his mechanical high horse and proceeded to take off down the trail, yelling “Follow me!” behind him. A 90-degree corner immediately greeted me, and with my limited 20 feet experience of riding so far, I was bucked off the machine as it proceeded to climb straight up a tree. I cracked my head, and the four wheeler landed right on top of me.

After waiting a minute or two, I realized I was all on my own with this problem as Ronald was long gone. I mustered the strength to kick off this heavy burden, climbed back on top of that mofo, and then sped passed Ron while flipping him the bird.

That’s pretty much how my financial life started too: flat on my ass with an enormous weight holding me down and no parent in sight.

Lesson #1: Don’t Sell The Shares You Inherited and Blow The Proceeds on Four Wheelers!

Those same ATVs mentioned above? They were purchased from stock my parents inherited. I wasn’t privy to all the details, but the sum I guestimated they received was in the $50k – $100k range: invested in what my parents called “blue chips,” which was the first time I’d heard that phrase before. What I do know, however, is that a $15k chunk started its brief life under the tutelage of my parents as the bluest of blue stocks on the market: IBM.

In 1992, a single share of IBM was worth about $88 unadjusted for splits, meaning my parents possessed roughly 170 shares. Let’s assume that instead of rushing down to Honda Motorsports before the check even cleared, Ron and his wife had the foresight to hold onto this small fraction of their inheritance and just let it ride. They could’ve spent almost $29,000 in dividends to date and still be sitting on a split-adjusted 680 shares, which would now be worth over $95,000; the annual dividend for 2017 and beyond is projected to be > $3,800.

That’s a lot of Power Wheels.

When I draw lessons from this mistake, I look at not only the hypothetical end-result, but also what kind of mindset it would take to ride IBM from 1992 to 2017. Seven years into the experiment, IBM experienced a meteoric rise powered by the turbo booster of the tech bubble. The shares reached a high of roughly $138 in 1999, right about where the price sits today, nearly 20 years down the road. During the ensuing crash, IBM dipped below $60.

Depending on your mindset, it might’ve been tempting to sell at both the high and the low phases: lock in gains in the former, or salve your fear of further losses with the latter. The company was considered the unassailable stalwart of tech during the 90’s, but its waning market position redefined the business in investors’ eyes. Declining revenue and a lack of innovation has transformed the perception of IBM from a shining star to a washed-up has-been.

I try to focus much of my investing efforts on the hold part of buy-and-hold. In the case of IBM, a dividend powerhouse, I’d pool the dividends and invest in a different, more stable sector. Diversify not through selling, but by redirecting the increasingly fat dividend stream into other businesses.

Lesson #2: Maintain Your $hit or It Becomes Worthless

They lasted just two years. No, not my parents’ faltering marriage, still talking about those damn ATVs. It turns out that engines have this weird substance called “oil,” and it needs to be changed every now and then. Three gently-used automobiles later, my parents finally discovered that cars, too, also have this same strange substance in it.

The three cars: 1) Ford Explorer, 2) Mercury Sable, 3) Lincoln Town Car – all bought with < 40k miles, and all dead by 75k miles because of engine problems.

A dear relative of mine gifted me a granny car when I was 16. I loved and appreciated the crap out of that vehicle, old people smell and all. When I scurried off to college, a school that banned freshmen from parking vehicles on campus, my parents decided to reappropriate my car to my older sister for a year. She begrudgingly returned it with a dead inspection sticker soon after the school year ended. Yes, I got a ticket on my ride home.

Surprise, surprise: she too had never learned about oil. Within a week, I heard the familiar sound of a seizing engine. Fortunately, I was able to limp the car to my friend’s house where his girlfriend was palling around with this hot chick in a bikini who happened to be a mechanic’s daughter. Though I’d learned the lesson already, I pretended to be ignorant about checking fluids while she “assisted” me.

She’s now my wife.

The first time I met my future father-in-law, he towered over me, crushed my handshake, and told me, “Boy if you ever hurt my daughter, I’ll rip your head off and cram it up your ass.” The most productive man I ever met, he was always tinkering on something. When he helped me with a plumbing issue, I asked him how he knew what the problem was. He replied, “I had no idea. I just figure out how to take it apart and then figured out how to put it back together.”

That’s perhaps the best repair advice I’ve ever received. Everything comes apart somehow, even if it’s not obvious at first. As far as maintenance tasks go, I rely on reminders. Google calendar is set to nudge me whenever air filters need to be replaced, batteries charged, gutters cleaned, and yes – especially when oil needs changing.

Lesson #3: Cheating and Refusing to Pay Taxes Are – Go Figure – Illegal

Leave it to my parents to find a silver lining in a DIY storm cloud. They ended up donating all four totaled vehicles to a registered charity. Pretty generous, right? Except for the part where they forged the receipts to show that the cars were in pristine condition and worth 4x the correct stated value.

Tax time for ol’ Ronnie was a game he played with TurboTax – fudging every number until the exact moment that the software threw a red flag. It was an endless game of chicken with the IRS. Unclaimed income, fictitious and overstated donations, illegal claiming of dependents, falsified businesses, enormous home offices: if you can think of a way to cheat taxes, my parents did it.

Before I cut ties for good, I learned that they were outraged to have received a thick envelope from Uncle Sam. Those IBM divvy’s probably would’ve come in handy around the time Ronald & Company decided to burn the mysterious contents of that package.

Determined to be their antiprotégé, I once filed an amended return when I realized that tips weren’t automatically included in my pizza delivery summer job W2 to stay on the “good” side.

Lesson #4: Cigarettes and Drugs – A Surefire Path to Financial Ruin and Misery

Legal correspondence wasn’t my family’s favorite fuel. That award would be split between the cigarettes and the drugs. At the age of fourteen, I sneaked one of my parents’ cigs to see what the fuss was about. I ratted myself out with a nasty gagging fit on my first couple draws and was promptly scolded right after: par for the course for teenage mischief.

The next day, however, my parents gave me a pack of my own cigarettes so that I wouldn’t have to steal theirs. I smoked for four formative years until I landed my first office job and realized how much the habit would hold me back in the workplace. And by that time, the free cigarette train had run out of track.

With an hourly pay rate just a smidgen above minimum wage, it didn’t take me long to figure out how expensive it was to roll up and burn a $5 bill every day.

While cigarettes seared a massive hole in the household “budget,” at least they were legal. My drug dabbling experience, getting caught, and the resulting parental guidance all adhered to the same pattern as the tobacco. Drugs, however, were difficult for my parents to find. In me, they saw a budding conduit to the black market.

My relationship with my parents had been strained, to put it kindly, up until the moment they realized that I had nefarious connections. That revelation ushered in a brief golden age between father, mother, and son. They were oh-so-friendly during my mid-teens. Bless their hearts.

Ron was pulling in a solid income by this time frame, helped along by his thievery from the taxman. He approached the drug market much like a soccer mom at Costco – preferring to buy in bulk to secure the discounts. Behind the force of his seed capital, along with the entrepreneurship of the local high school slinger, a small narcotics empire quickly rose in my town. Faster than it had risen, the entire enterprise crashed down hard right after, tossing a few people straight into prison along its demise.

Miraculously, neither Ron nor I emerged with a scratch on our records. He employed me as a delivery driver specializing in felonious interstate transportation, nearly ruining my life before adulthood was even on the horizon. I was a child. His child. For this, forgiveness isn’t in the cards.

Between the ages of 15 and 18, I did glean a few useful money lessons throughout these illicit business ventures though. I learned about cost of goods sold, profit margins, inventory, goodwill with vendors, shrinkage, the compounding power of addictive consumerism, etc. One of my top investments to this day is an alcohol purveyor.

Most of all though, I started to learn about risk. I’ve read that the human brain doesn’t reach its full risk-processing power until age 25, and I know from experience that I was nearly blind to the concepts of probability and consequences as an adolescent. Nearing my mid-twenties, I began to realize just how mind-bogglingly reckless my teenage endeavors were regardless of whether I’d acted at the behest of my parents or not.

The whole clusterf*ck set into motion a deep-set sense of personal responsibility. I learned that I needed to take control of my own life, live up to my own standards, and then reap the rewards of my own hard work, while accepting the consequences of any misdeed that I committed on my own.

The Fallout

I eventually got out of the drug game. The first person that I ever cut out of my life was a young man I considered to be my best friend. He also happened to be the founder and CEO of my parents’ personal apothecary. Little did I know at the time, the night I watched a movie with him, shook his hand, and told him to never contact me again was also the beginning of the end of my parent-child relationship. What precious little of it remained, anyway.

As my underworld connections withered and died, my parents’ addictions grew ravenously. They latched on to as many mind-altering substances they could find to escape from the reality that their house was falling down all around them. And I mean that quite literally, not a metaphor at all.

Their master bathroom had sprung a leak, causing the tub to partially fall through the kitchen ceiling where it remained for a number of years – completely suspended above a mountain of dishes that stared back at the foreign visitor from upstairs, each neglected task accompanied by its own steady drip drip drip of water that seemed to spend all night debating with its counterpart over which quagmire would be resolved first.

I didn’t stick around long enough to find out who won.

One by one, major appliances choked out their last efforts. Water heater, washer, A/C, furnace: all met their demise over a $200 repair bill that Ron refused to pay, instead opting for a $200 baggie in its place. All the while, he pulled in a six figure income.

With financial ruin creeping up from behind, my parents found a frugal alternative to visiting the ghetto: they could manufacture the drugs themselves! I’m not aware of a federally sponsored comeuppance for this crime, but it’s only a matter of time. I still have nightmares of black helicopters and predawn raids.

Lesson #5: Running a Puppy Mill Inside Your House Might Not Be a Good Idea For Side Income

In a last-ditch effort to support their drug habits over their children, my parents turned to exploiting something even more defenseless: dogs.

Because affording a kennel was out of the question, the clown committee determined that the operation should be run indoors. Eventually all manner of canine bodily fluids spread across the floors and down the walls as up to 20 helpless, unvaccinated, creatures were forced to reproduce inside the crumbling confines of my parents’ nightmare.

One poor soul died of a perpetual and untreated kidney infection; he’d bay woefully as he urinated blood behind my father’s overused recliner. They were heartless enough to have named that dog Cash. I’d moved out well before the breeding began, and my bewildered parents wondered why I never came to visit any more.

Lesson #6: “I’ll Just Come Live With My Adult Child” Is Not a Valid Retirement Plan

When the eviction was finally enforced, my parents — considering themselves victims of the gravest injustices — turned to me for help, requiring assistance which absolutely must be delivered in the form of $30,000 cash.

I’ll never forget hearing the words on the phone from my mother, “You have good credit, right?”

Invitations from me to them became exceedingly rare, so they continuously strategized ways to drop in unannounced. Once when I was still under their roof and underage, my father decided to spend an entire year without speaking a single word to me. He returned to this antisocial mechanism later at my own house as he sat on my couch, uninvited and scowling, while his wife tried to coax a few dollars out from my pockets. And if I didn’t have any, then certainly I might have some drugs they could borrow, right?

That day didn’t end pleasantly, and the next time I heard from them, my parents extended an invitation for me to celebrate dear ol’ Dad on Father’s Day.

I didn’t show up. That single inaction, one decision of defiance, was my sole moment when I’d finally had enough. It unleashed a torrent of hatred. He compared my absence — my refusal to fete the fool — to the terrorist attacks on 9/11. My inbox, voicemail, and mailbox overflowed with verbal vomit. I responded with silence.

In the years that followed, I spoke just eight total words to him on two separate occasions: “Never contact me again” and “Leave my wife alone.” I didn’t owe him the time of day, much less an explanation.

Where We Are Today – A Position of Strength

That’s the origin of my quest for financial independence. Ronnie knew that my separation from my parents had something to do with money, but his thoughts on the matter were completely twisted. In his magnum opus on the fantasy of filicide, he wrote,

“I am sorry I didn’t save money for you, blahahahahaha. You did nothing to earn it. Parents owe their children nothing.”

The fact was I wanted nothing from my parents but love and respect. I may as well have asked for the moon. When I was 18, I discovered that I could leverage frugality and a decent income to build a fortress that no person could disturb. Money was my ticket out from under the thumb of an abusive upbringing, and I still get chills when I watch Mr. Collins’ rendition of “F*ck You Money.”

Now, I’m close to that position of ultimate financial strength. I live in my own house with my beautiful, loving wife, and our pets whose healthcare rivals that of a senator’s. All my appliances and vehicles work flawlessly, and I pay gobs of taxes each year. Every single person in my inner circles shares with me a mutual love and respect, and I’m not beholden to any addictive or destructive force whatsoever.

Life is good… And I don’t own any damn four wheelers!

*********

The Master Dukes of Dollars are the dynamic duo from The Duke of Dollars Kingdom. The two bloggers held court frequently, delving into lifestyle and personal finance discussions as they searched for ways to live an optimal life, eventually deciding to invite a global audience into their mindsets by establishing their own blog together. Chris is the younger of the two and recently launched his Great War on Debt soon after achieving a positive net worth, while Jack – the author of this guest post – is further down the road towards FIRE and is seeking a cure for onemoreyearitis. Their primary mission is to help others build their financial kingdoms, providing the world with a road-map that leads to a fortified personal monetary policy.

Want more stories like this? Check out these posts next:

My Life (And Finances) After Escaping a Cult

What Being Homeless Taught Me About Money and Happiness

Seeking Financial Stability as a Gay, Non-White, Man of Muslim Faith

[Photo up top NOT of Jack’s dad – it comes courtesy of zachandlinz on Flickr]

6 Things My Ridiculous Parents Taught Me About Money posted first on http://ift.tt/2lnwIdQ

[heliosfinance]

6 Things My Ridiculous Parents Taught Me About Money

[Please welcome one half of the duo from DukeofDollars.com today, as Jack spills his heart here on all things financial he learned from growing up in a helluva toxic household, ugh… As a parent this KILLS ME, and I wish this upbringing on no kids out there! What is wrong with people????]

********

The first time I rode a four wheeler as a kid, my dad plopped me down on the machine without a helmet and pointed me at the trailhead. This same guy — we’ll call him Ronald, because he’s kind of a clown — then hopped on his mechanical high horse and proceeded to take off down the trail, yelling “Follow me!” behind him. A 90-degree corner immediately greeted me, and with my limited 20 feet experience of riding so far, I was bucked off the machine as it proceeded to climb straight up a tree. I cracked my head, and the four wheeler landed right on top of me.

After waiting a minute or two, I realized I was all on my own with this problem as Ronald was long gone. I mustered the strength to kick off this heavy burden, climbed back on top of that mofo, and then sped passed Ron while flipping him the bird.

That’s pretty much how my financial life started too: flat on my ass with an enormous weight holding me down and no parent in sight.

Lesson #1: Don’t Sell The Shares You Inherited and Blow The Proceeds on Four Wheelers!

Those same ATVs mentioned above? They were purchased from stock my parents inherited. I wasn’t privy to all the details, but the sum I guestimated they received was in the $50k – $100k range: invested in what my parents called “blue chips,” which was the first time I’d heard that phrase before. What I do know, however, is that a $15k chunk started its brief life under the tutelage of my parents as the bluest of blue stocks on the market: IBM.

In 1992, a single share of IBM was worth about $88 unadjusted for splits, meaning my parents possessed roughly 170 shares. Let’s assume that instead of rushing down to Honda Motorsports before the check even cleared, Ron and his wife had the foresight to hold onto this small fraction of their inheritance and just let it ride. They could’ve spent almost $29,000 in dividends to date and still be sitting on a split-adjusted 680 shares, which would now be worth over $95,000; the annual dividend for 2017 and beyond is projected to be > $3,800.

That’s a lot of Power Wheels.

When I draw lessons from this mistake, I look at not only the hypothetical end-result, but also what kind of mindset it would take to ride IBM from 1992 to 2017. Seven years into the experiment, IBM experienced a meteoric rise powered by the turbo booster of the tech bubble. The shares reached a high of roughly $138 in 1999, right about where the price sits today, nearly 20 years down the road. During the ensuing crash, IBM dipped below $60.

Depending on your mindset, it might’ve been tempting to sell at both the high and the low phases: lock in gains in the former, or salve your fear of further losses with the latter. The company was considered the unassailable stalwart of tech during the 90’s, but its waning market position redefined the business in investors’ eyes. Declining revenue and a lack of innovation has transformed the perception of IBM from a shining star to a washed-up has-been.

I try to focus much of my investing efforts on the hold part of buy-and-hold. In the case of IBM, a dividend powerhouse, I’d pool the dividends and invest in a different, more stable sector. Diversify not through selling, but by redirecting the increasingly fat dividend stream into other businesses.

Lesson #2: Maintain Your $hit or It Becomes Worthless

They lasted just two years. No, not my parents’ faltering marriage, still talking about those damn ATVs. It turns out that engines have this weird substance called “oil,” and it needs to be changed every now and then. Three gently-used automobiles later, my parents finally discovered that cars, too, also have this same strange substance in it.

The three cars: 1) Ford Explorer, 2) Mercury Sable, 3) Lincoln Town Car – all bought with < 40k miles, and all dead by 75k miles because of engine problems.

A dear relative of mine gifted me a granny car when I was 16. I loved and appreciated the crap out of that vehicle, old people smell and all. When I scurried off to college, a school that banned freshmen from parking vehicles on campus, my parents decided to reappropriate my car to my older sister for a year. She begrudgingly returned it with a dead inspection sticker soon after the school year ended. Yes, I got a ticket on my ride home.

Surprise, surprise: she too had never learned about oil. Within a week, I heard the familiar sound of a seizing engine. Fortunately, I was able to limp the car to my friend’s house where his girlfriend was palling around with this hot chick in a bikini who happened to be a mechanic’s daughter. Though I’d learned the lesson already, I pretended to be ignorant about checking fluids while she “assisted” me.

She’s now my wife.

The first time I met my future father-in-law, he towered over me, crushed my handshake, and told me, “Boy if you ever hurt my daughter, I’ll rip your head off and cram it up your ass.” The most productive man I ever met, he was always tinkering on something. When he helped me with a plumbing issue, I asked him how he knew what the problem was. He replied, “I had no idea. I just figure out how to take it apart and then figured out how to put it back together.”

That’s perhaps the best repair advice I’ve ever received. Everything comes apart somehow, even if it’s not obvious at first. As far as maintenance tasks go, I rely on reminders. Google calendar is set to nudge me whenever air filters need to be replaced, batteries charged, gutters cleaned, and yes – especially when oil needs changing.

Lesson #3: Cheating and Refusing to Pay Taxes Are – Go Figure – Illegal

Leave it to my parents to find a silver lining in a DIY storm cloud. They ended up donating all four totaled vehicles to a registered charity. Pretty generous, right? Except for the part where they forged the receipts to show that the cars were in pristine condition and worth 4x the correct stated value.

Tax time for ol’ Ronnie was a game he played with TurboTax – fudging every number until the exact moment that the software threw a red flag. It was an endless game of chicken with the IRS. Unclaimed income, fictitious and overstated donations, illegal claiming of dependents, falsified businesses, enormous home offices: if you can think of a way to cheat taxes, my parents did it.

Before I cut ties for good, I learned that they were outraged to have received a thick envelope from Uncle Sam. Those IBM divvy’s probably would’ve come in handy around the time Ronald & Company decided to burn the mysterious contents of that package.

Determined to be their antiprotégé, I once filed an amended return when I realized that tips weren’t automatically included in my pizza delivery summer job W2 to stay on the “good” side.

Lesson #4: Cigarettes and Drugs – A Surefire Path to Financial Ruin and Misery

Legal correspondence wasn’t my family’s favorite fuel. That award would be split between the cigarettes and the drugs. At the age of fourteen, I sneaked one of my parents’ cigs to see what the fuss was about. I ratted myself out with a nasty gagging fit on my first couple draws and was promptly scolded right after: par for the course for teenage mischief.

The next day, however, my parents gave me a pack of my own cigarettes so that I wouldn’t have to steal theirs. I smoked for four formative years until I landed my first office job and realized how much the habit would hold me back in the workplace. And by that time, the free cigarette train had run out of track.

With an hourly pay rate just a smidgen above minimum wage, it didn’t take me long to figure out how expensive it was to roll up and burn a $5 bill every day.

While cigarettes seared a massive hole in the household “budget,” at least they were legal. My drug dabbling experience, getting caught, and the resulting parental guidance all adhered to the same pattern as the tobacco. Drugs, however, were difficult for my parents to find. In me, they saw a budding conduit to the black market.

My relationship with my parents had been strained, to put it kindly, up until the moment they realized that I had nefarious connections. That revelation ushered in a brief golden age between father, mother, and son. They were oh-so-friendly during my mid-teens. Bless their hearts.

Ron was pulling in a solid income by this time frame, helped along by his thievery from the taxman. He approached the drug market much like a soccer mom at Costco – preferring to buy in bulk to secure the discounts. Behind the force of his seed capital, along with the entrepreneurship of the local high school slinger, a small narcotics empire quickly rose in my town. Faster than it had risen, the entire enterprise crashed down hard right after, tossing a few people straight into prison along its demise.

Miraculously, neither Ron nor I emerged with a scratch on our records. He employed me as a delivery driver specializing in felonious interstate transportation, nearly ruining my life before adulthood was even on the horizon. I was a child. His child. For this, forgiveness isn’t in the cards.

Between the ages of 15 and 18, I did glean a few useful money lessons throughout these illicit business ventures though. I learned about cost of goods sold, profit margins, inventory, goodwill with vendors, shrinkage, the compounding power of addictive consumerism, etc. One of my top investments to this day is an alcohol purveyor.

Most of all though, I started to learn about risk. I’ve read that the human brain doesn’t reach its full risk-processing power until age 25, and I know from experience that I was nearly blind to the concepts of probability and consequences as an adolescent. Nearing my mid-twenties, I began to realize just how mind-bogglingly reckless my teenage endeavors were regardless of whether I’d acted at the behest of my parents or not.

The whole clusterf*ck set into motion a deep-set sense of personal responsibility. I learned that I needed to take control of my own life, live up to my own standards, and then reap the rewards of my own hard work, while accepting the consequences of any misdeed that I committed on my own.

The Fallout

I eventually got out of the drug game. The first person that I ever cut out of my life was a young man I considered to be my best friend. He also happened to be the founder and CEO of my parents’ personal apothecary. Little did I know at the time, the night I watched a movie with him, shook his hand, and told him to never contact me again was also the beginning of the end of my parent-child relationship. What precious little of it remained, anyway.

As my underworld connections withered and died, my parents’ addictions grew ravenously. They latched on to as many mind-altering substances they could find to escape from the reality that their house was falling down all around them. And I mean that quite literally, not a metaphor at all.

Their master bathroom had sprung a leak, causing the tub to partially fall through the kitchen ceiling where it remained for a number of years – completely suspended above a mountain of dishes that stared back at the foreign visitor from upstairs, each neglected task accompanied by its own steady drip drip drip of water that seemed to spend all night debating with its counterpart over which quagmire would be resolved first.

I didn’t stick around long enough to find out who won.

One by one, major appliances choked out their last efforts. Water heater, washer, A/C, furnace: all met their demise over a $200 repair bill that Ron refused to pay, instead opting for a $200 baggie in its place. All the while, he pulled in a six figure income.

With financial ruin creeping up from behind, my parents found a frugal alternative to visiting the ghetto: they could manufacture the drugs themselves! I’m not aware of a federally sponsored comeuppance for this crime, but it’s only a matter of time. I still have nightmares of black helicopters and predawn raids.

Lesson #5: Running a Puppy Mill Inside Your House Might Not Be a Good Idea For Side Income

In a last-ditch effort to support their drug habits over their children, my parents turned to exploiting something even more defenseless: dogs.

Because affording a kennel was out of the question, the clown committee determined that the operation should be run indoors. Eventually all manner of canine bodily fluids spread across the floors and down the walls as up to 20 helpless, unvaccinated, creatures were forced to reproduce inside the crumbling confines of my parents’ nightmare.

One poor soul died of a perpetual and untreated kidney infection; he’d bay woefully as he urinated blood behind my father’s overused recliner. They were heartless enough to have named that dog Cash. I’d moved out well before the breeding began, and my bewildered parents wondered why I never came to visit any more.

Lesson #6: “I’ll Just Come Live With My Adult Child” Is Not a Valid Retirement Plan

When the eviction was finally enforced, my parents — considering themselves victims of the gravest injustices — turned to me for help, requiring assistance which absolutely must be delivered in the form of $30,000 cash.

I’ll never forget hearing the words on the phone from my mother, “You have good credit, right?”

Invitations from me to them became exceedingly rare, so they continuously strategized ways to drop in unannounced. Once when I was still under their roof and underage, my father decided to spend an entire year without speaking a single word to me. He returned to this antisocial mechanism later at my own house as he sat on my couch, uninvited and scowling, while his wife tried to coax a few dollars out from my pockets. And if I didn’t have any, then certainly I might have some drugs they could borrow, right?

That day didn’t end pleasantly, and the next time I heard from them, my parents extended an invitation for me to celebrate dear ol’ Dad on Father’s Day.

I didn’t show up. That single inaction, one decision of defiance, was my sole moment when I’d finally had enough. It unleashed a torrent of hatred. He compared my absence — my refusal to fete the fool — to the terrorist attacks on 9/11. My inbox, voicemail, and mailbox overflowed with verbal vomit. I responded with silence.

In the years that followed, I spoke just eight total words to him on two separate occasions: “Never contact me again” and “Leave my wife alone.” I didn’t owe him the time of day, much less an explanation.

Where We Are Today – A Position of Strength

That’s the origin of my quest for financial independence. Ronnie knew that my separation from my parents had something to do with money, but his thoughts on the matter were completely twisted. In his magnum opus on the fantasy of filicide, he wrote,

“I am sorry I didn’t save money for you, blahahahahaha. You did nothing to earn it. Parents owe their children nothing.”

The fact was I wanted nothing from my parents but love and respect. I may as well have asked for the moon. When I was 18, I discovered that I could leverage frugality and a decent income to build a fortress that no person could disturb. Money was my ticket out from under the thumb of an abusive upbringing, and I still get chills when I watch Mr. Collins’ rendition of “F*ck You Money.”

Now, I’m close to that position of ultimate financial strength. I live in my own house with my beautiful, loving wife, and our pets whose healthcare rivals that of a senator’s. All my appliances and vehicles work flawlessly, and I pay gobs of taxes each year. Every single person in my inner circles shares with me a mutual love and respect, and I’m not beholden to any addictive or destructive force whatsoever.

Life is good… And I don’t own any damn four wheelers!

*********

The Master Dukes of Dollars are the dynamic duo from The Duke of Dollars Kingdom. The two bloggers held court frequently, delving into lifestyle and personal finance discussions as they searched for ways to live an optimal life, eventually deciding to invite a global audience into their mindsets by establishing their own blog together. Chris is the younger of the two and recently launched his Great War on Debt soon after achieving a positive net worth, while Jack – the author of this guest post – is further down the road towards FIRE and is seeking a cure for onemoreyearitis. Their primary mission is to help others build their financial kingdoms, providing the world with a road-map that leads to a fortified personal monetary policy.

Want more stories like this? Check out these posts next:

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[Photo up top NOT of Jack’s dad – it comes courtesy of zachandlinz on Flickr]

6 Things My Ridiculous Parents Taught Me About Money published first on http://ift.tt/2ljLF4B