#i also made vm listen to me monologue this whole thing

[roselightfairy]

So, if you are dating a twink, and he's really your type, but then slowly he starts to kind of work out a little, put on some muscle, his body changes a little and he's not as much your type anymore, but you still really care about him and you've been dating him so long... would they call that twunk cost fallacy?

[sparring-spirals]

okay! something something liveblog TLOVM s1 episode 8 LETS DO THIS I MUST KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO CASS (this one got long sorry)

call it influence of the Mighty “man we end up busting a ton of cults” Nein but lots of people chanting in the start of an episode put me on EDGE okay. anyway hello pike! :)

oh, sorry, more of a “hello pike :(” still going thru it, i see. breakups (with magical entities) are rough!

christ i was vibing too hard with the intro and got jolted by the whole “cass and percy” situation WHOOPS.

yay healing magic but also ohgOD are you putting dirt DIRECTLY INTO AN OPEN WOUND???? THAT SEEMS EXTREMELY- (I am dragged offstage by the collar)

anders, sir, i think percy might be a little too angry to appreciate your monologuing. classic miscalulation, you should’ve gotten at least half your monologue in BEFORE playing your big cards.

“this revenge is mine” “not if you’re dead” sorry percy your friends care about you and also are dramatic hoes who deliver one liners to undercut your one liner.

you know i made that quip and then Vex delivered the reverse one-liner about the long shot and... that might be a twin-specific thing. These dramatic hoes. I adore them.

pike 🤝 keyleth : muttering “please work please work” when they cast spells because of a complex relationship with themselves and their power

ADORABLE keyleth moment but also- CASS don’t SCREAM with your throat oh god Keyleth don’t GRAB her by her throat oh god don’t TILT YOUR HEAD BACKWARDS. *mutter mutter healing magic mutter mutter*

FUCKING charm person, always a bitch. anyway i love the little moments when they figure out a fight and do Good. before they kill each other.

SKJDFHALSJDGSHD this shouldn’t be funny but pike working her ass off panicking and worrying to reach the everlight and then she gets there and its just “who r u”

anyway: poor pike oh man :(

again: LOVE the moments of teamup and smoothness (right before they kill each other. but that vex/keyleth teamup! nice!)

me: oh no this is a 4v1! *watches percy get taken over by demon* ..... 4v2?

oh i was hoping someone would rip out his silver tongue but this is also good :) “work out all the angles” one-liner brain always at 100% huh percy

fantastic mundanity of VM chasing a tongue while percy strides by leaking smoke. like “ah yes, percy leaking smoke, we’ve all seen it now, CATCH THE GODDAMN TONGUE”.

again: sick one liners. and keyleth going “guys, the smoke!” thank u kiki.

i look up from stuffing cass into my pockets: what? no? i? what? listen shes mine now get away. anyway sibling relationships really got me *waves arms inarticulately* aaaa

ngl with the tone vex used for “kinda terrified... kinda impressed” that’s not what i thought the second half of the sentence was going to be. that said, from vex, what she said is probably the higher compliment.

keyleth looks so happy and at peace doing this, awww

yes i am googling “does slit throat cause blood to come out of mouth” yes it is for a shitpost on a fandom blog i run please do not arrest me

(i don’t think it does but i also didn’t research very hard)

i adore all these voice actors but matts delivery of “delilah, what are you doing” was a lil wack and made me laugh a little. did this man just wake up

1: *googles how much blood is in a human body* 2: sylas seeing this and just going 🤨 kajsdfhlasjdfh

fucking CHRIST everlight!! use a zone of truth like everyone else!! goddamn!!!

sorry, correction: fucking CHRIST everlight!! recommend a therapist like everyone else!! goddamn!!

I think there’s a genuinely interesting analysis/discussion around faith-driven guilt and “goodness” and etc but i also think its really funny- and sweet! that pike was like “im... bad.” after all this struggling :( and the everlight was like “nahw ur good nw ok see you”

okay seriously joking aside: this is a really, really lovely scene, and beautifully done. <3

“of course its zombies! fuck me!” listen Scanlan, that IS what you were asking for.

cinnamontography <3

overall:

- i really, really enjoyed this ep, actually! Not sure what it is but so far I’ve very much been enjoying the second ep in each of the releases lmao.

- a lot more medical and biological questions coming out of this ep than i was expecting, but that’s how it goes sometimes i guess.

- I think in general the little character interactions and quips in action/battle are some of my favorites- they always feel very right and are always so telling in multiple ways :’D like Vex being mean to Keyleth but trusting her in combat, speaks VOLUMES. Grog raging being about rage, but also about his friends. Who ducks and hides, who backs up who- augh. lovely.

- Cass. <3 like, I know, there’s still Some Things that’ll happen, but damn shes BEEN thru it okay. 

- Pike’s scene with the Everlight- so, so, so, good. In dialogue, in VA, the bit with the VM silhouettes- very nice.

- Percy got a ricocheting bullet shot and some VERY cathartic murder and we love that for him and also his smoke demon. but mostly for him.

[spearywritesstuff]

A Way Past Worry: Coda 12x15

This is a tiny Dean POV for 12x15. He’s ready to fess up to Cas, but he’s also picking up on the worry. Basically, this is just a big ole internal monologue. Hope you like it:)

They were all a little broken. Dean thought sometimes that maybe just he was broken, but time and time again, he was hit with the realization that normal people don’t do the things that they do. At least Sam came clean. He knew that something was off. He knew that asking about it all outright would lead to a whole lot of really obvious lying. 

Funny how a person can know a person and not really know some things. Dean thought as he played back the memories of the days prior. He had even given Sam opportunities to admit to what was going on, but the guy just kept lying. It didn’t matter now though. He had finally come to the truth telling part of the game. Dean tossed himself down on his bed with a huff. His feet hung over the side, and he started kicking at the edges of his shoes to try to get them off without having to bend to them.

It wasn’t really Sam though that he was worrying about now. The phone call with Cas changed that. Dean pulled out his phone and stared at it a moment. He considered calling him back again. He was off. Something was weird. Dean let his hand fall back to his side, phone clutched for when he’d change his mind. 

He knew the solution. He’d just had little to no opportunity to implement it. They were never alone. Cas was always running off on one mission or another. Dean was no better. In just the last two weeks, Sam had dragged him over nearly 5,000 miles and three cases. It was a lot. Dean was tired and sometimes just running on adrenaline. He knew that if Cas had been in the bunker when they returned that he’d finally just drag him off to his room and tell him or show him. Or something like that.

It could be simple really, as simple as all that. Cas loved him; of that he was certain. Cas had said it anyway, and Dean felt the truth of it. He’d come back to the bunker. He always came back. Maybe the weirdness was just Cas feeding off of the stress of the missions. Not finding Lucifer’s child and nearly dying, well that would do things to you.

Dean thought about what his return could be. Dean thought about a lot of things. He was ready to fix things. He was tired of being broken, feeling broken, feeling like he was just good for one thing--killing. He wanted to be more than that. He knew that he was, especially when Cas was with him. 

The door would open. Cas would walk in to tell him about his progress. Dean would get up and move to him. He’d tell him that he was glad to see him. He’d tell him to close the door. No sense in traumatizing Sam. Dean smiled a little as he thought that. Cas would ask if he was okay. For a minute he’d be worried. Dean would reach out to him, settle a hand on his shoulder and tell him that he was fine now.

Cas had anchored him like that so many times before. He’d made Dean feel like the world was safe and stable even when everything was crashing down around them. Dean closed his eyes so he could almost see it all. Cas would talk, try to parse out what it was that was different, what was happening. Dean knew that he’d kiss him then. 

He’d thought about that kiss, where their lips would meet and how it’d feel. He would kiss him at the edge of his lips, where they sometimes turned up into a smile. He’d start there. He’d move slowly, dragging his lips over his cheek to his jawline. He’d kiss him there a moment while he moved his hand up to his neck. He’d move closer to Cas then. He’d press him to the wall a little. He’d let his other hand move to his waist. He’d hold Cas then and come back to his lips. Hopefully, Cas would see then what Dean had been keeping in check for so long.

Dean would pull back for a moment and just look at him before he’d kiss him again. He’d let his lips press solidly to Cas’. He’d tip his head just slightly, thinking the whole time that if Cas didn’t match the move, that he’d give up. He’d know then that it was all just him feeling all this. Dean believed that he was right though. It was just that niggling little doubt that kept up a constant medley in his head whenever he got close to giving action to a thought.

Most days though, he let himself have this dream. He’d kiss him, and Cas, for his part, he’d kiss right back. That moment, when he opened his mouth to Dean, that moment when he groaned out Dean’s name, that moment when he pulled at Dean, murmuring affection into every breath and movement, that was what Dean imagined. It was what he always imagined. And it was getting easier and easier to believe that this was what would happen, not the rejection that he had feared for so many years.

So now he just had to wait. That call was weird. That niggling little worry was back again. It was different though, just a little. He felt it though. When Cas spoke he felt the worry like flames curling up inside of him just licking at anything that would help them catch and burn bright. He gave worry a voice when he asked Sam if Cas sounded weird. Sam never seemed to notice when Cas sounded weird. 

Dean lifted the phone again and stared at the black screen. He tipped the phone to his lips and let it sit there a moment while he thought. He made the call. He listened to the ringing. He listened to it going to the vm and Cas’ little message that on a good day would make him laugh a little. Today it didn’t do that. Today it made him worry. Cas should have answered; their call had only just ended a few minutes before. 

The worry became stronger. He felt it eating away at him as it coursed through his veins and lodged deep in his bones. He set the phone back at his side and sat up. He ran his hands up through his hair then folded them together in his lap. It was nearly a posture meant for prayer minus the kneeling. He closed his eyes and concentrated on Cas, on his face, on his bright blue eyes, on that smile that he’d kiss and kiss and kiss. He focused. 

Hey, Cas. I tried calling. You must be busy or something. I just wanted to ask you to do something for me. Dean didn’t want to worry him. He didn’t want to pull him from something important. On the other hand though, he was done with all the world conspiring against them being in the same damn room for more than a day. He was done. Come home. I need you. Could you come home? There, he’d said it. Well, not all of it. The rest wasn’t meant for a prayer. The rest was meant to be breathed into him and solidly pressed into skin. The rest could wait.

The worry that sat heavily on him seemed to slip aside a little. He opened his eyes and smiled up at the ceiling like he was sending that to Cas too. He pictured how it could be, how it would be if he could just have one thing go right. I miss you. Really need you to be here. Wake me up when you get home. Dean focused on the fingertips of flame that seemed to lick at his insides. He focused on how they seemed to abate. He focused on the way his body seemed to settle into a calm that hadn’t been there before. It was like all the times that Cas had pressed his hand to Dean’s arm, all the times he’d squeezed his hand or bumped his knees under the table. It was the calm that came from him being there, just giving Dean what comfort he could.

And somehow, despite not being on the receiving end of prayers, Dean knew that Cas heard him. He knew that he’d come home. And Dean also knew that somehow their timing might actually finally be right.