#i also like this chapter and any reason to share it cause it's going to be a minute before I can publish it *sobs*

[voiceofthelionhearted]

for relating to her so much, it's kind of a surprise that i've never made a post about the spectre and the lead into tpatd. but i guess today, we're changing that.

the spectre is, in my mind, about giving grace, changing, and empathy. spectre is surprisingly kind, being the one princess you get by immediately killing the previous princess. however, she doesn't let you forget what you've done. she calls you "killer". she also shows that she has an edge -- she can be dangerous to you if she wants to, but you are no longer dangerous to her. she holds all the power, in terms of physical danger. and she is willing to look past your previous murder of her in order to reach a conclusion that she seems to feel is mutually beneficial. in my mind, there is no reason for her to be this reasonable -- unless she thinks that something is up. for instance, there's someone behind the scenes who is telling you to kill her.

which, of course, she learns to be the truth when she possesses you. for how excited cold is at the prospect of her meeting the one who wanted you to kill her so badly, she treats the narrator with the same attitude she treats you, only reacting with frustration or incredulity when he states the obvious about her no longer being in the room with tlq, and offense when he describes her presence with his body as burdensome. she doesn't like him, but she's still willing to be civil and understanding, like when she describes him as a memory and "similar to her".

she is understandably angry when you decide to slay yourself to slay her. it's petty. it's self-destructive. it's terrifying. why would someone go to such lengths to hurt another? but, she did hear how the narrator encouraged you to "fix your mistake" of deciding to let her out, so both iterations of the princess in the following chapter are willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. although, in the harsh princess's case, it's mostly because -- well -- you're stuck together, and neither of you know for how long.

and it's following her possession of you and going into tpatd where you see that she is still willing to be civil -- but that doesn't mean that your actions have no consequences.

if you were cruel to her prior to letting her possess you, she is understandably on edge, because it means that you didn't do any self-reflection and could potentially still be a danger to her. she automatically responds to opportunist's violence with violence, angry at having been hurt again, and responds to you telling her that you're back in your own body with more anger and betrayal. you're begging her to stop hurting you, after all you've done is hurt her without any remorse or second thought. after sharing a body with her, she must have hoped that you can understand her pain and anger, despite how civil she was willing to be with you. she made it abundantly clear to you that, even though she's willing to put everything behind herself, she hasn't forgotten it, and yet, you still think that you're allowed to beg for the pain to stop? after you caused all of her pain in the first place? when you tell her that you deserve to die for all that you've done to her, she considers your words, and then her angry expression melts into something softer. sadder. you finally understand. you're taking responsibility for your actions. regardless of whether or not someone was influencing your decision to hurt her, it was still just that -- your decision. showing remorse in front of her tells her that you've truly learned of her pain, and fully understand it. she may have been harsh, but is it so wrong to be harsh towards someone who has only ever hurt you?

if you were kind to her, she is nicer to you, and a lot more timid in front of your body. she wants to keep you hidden away, a secret to be kept safe, because you reflected on your previous actions and were kind to her. yeah, you stabbed yourself to get to her, and she's confused about why you would do something like that, but perhaps she's willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, because she heard the narrator and how he talked about her. she's hoping that you were only cruel to her because of the narrator, and so maybe you can be kinder. in fact, she knows that you can be kinder -- because she's seen it. so she's kinder to you, hoping that the two of you are building a relationship wherein you won't hurt her anymore. she's less willing to hurt your body, because even though there are voices in there that she doesn't like, that's still your body, and you're still the one in control when you're inside of it. in this one, you betray her by not listening to her request that she cut herself free. she's not angry at you, but you can see sorrow in her face as you cut her free, rather than letting her do so herself. as we know, this results in opportunist finally killing the two of you. you disregard her desires, her autonomy, and both of you suffer the consequences together.

yes, the point of the spectre and tpatd is empathy and understanding, but it's also about forgiveness and what it looks like. forgiveness is not always a soft and sweet thing. it can also be harsh and guarded. it just depends on the subject of forgiveness and how they act. that is the healthiest form of forgiveness -- you forgive, but you do not let the person who hurt you, hurt you again. not without consequences this time.