#i also like the wispy ones or whatever like in pictures 2 and 4

[gwyns]

so @lplusl had the BRILLIANT idea of gwyn with bangs so let's just take a second to imagine

this is now canon TO ME

[jackrrabbit]

cooking at 3am /// Osamu x f!Reader

Request: Imagine cooking together with Osamu at 3am because neither of you could sleep (or because ‘Samu got the midnight munchies lol). You don’t have anything specific in mind; you’re just playing around and feeding each other little bits of what you make.

A/N: bruh you said munchies and my mind said [[ h i g h o s a m u ]] sorry this went in a kinda different direction? but still fun 3am cooking project vibes :P

Tag/warnings: fluff, light drug use (weed), you and Atsumu are lowkey Bros™️, Osamu's kinda baby 🤧

Osamu’s not good at smoking.

He doesn’t really know how to inhale—you know, hold it in his lungs so it can soak in or whatever—and when he does, he coughs. Except he tries to repress the coughs. Even if he wants to hide it, he’s always close enough to you that you can feel his chest moving from trying not to cough when he takes a hit.

And also, like every baby smoker, he can’t really tell when it’s kicking in until he’s off the deep end.

“Can you feel it yet?”

“No.”

You shoot Osamu a glance where he’s sitting on the ground in front of the couch, watching a nature documentary on Atsumu’s TV with a glazed-over look on his face. “You sure? Your eyes are super red.”

“I can’t feel it. Give it—“ He holds out his hand and honestly you’re pretty sure he’s had plenty, but it’s Atsumu’s vape so who cares. You hand it over and Osamu holds it up to his mouth and sucks, eyes fluttering closed as the light on the side of the Pax glows yellow.

God, he looks hot when he does that. Something about a hot guy smoking, yeah? Actually, no. Something about your hot boyfriend smoking.

Except 'Samu holds his breath a second too long and you can see the urge to cough hit him… Wait for it, you think to yourself, and a second later he hacks and wheezes the vapor out in a wispy cloud that reflects silver against the semi-dark. You coo in sympathy and pat his back. “Want some water?”

Osamu shakes his head, hand over his mouth to stop the coughing. On the tv, David Attenborough talks about penguin courtship rituals and Atsumu (who’s been draped on the couch next to you for the past few hours) gives a light little sigh in his sleep. You check the time. 3am. Bedtime. Too bad you and 'Samu are both too high to drive home…whoops. Guess you’re spending the night at Atsumu’s place.

Osamu rubs his bloodshot eyes like they’re itchy, which they probably are. “Hey, can we— uhh… Do we have pancakes.”

“Pancakes, babe? You mean the ones you made for breakfast?”

“Yeah, there’s leftovers…I made you extra and you didn’t want them.” He twists around and gives you an incredibly dirty look, like this is something you did on purpose to hurt his feelings. “If you don’t want them I’m going to eat them.”

“Wait, 'Samu—“ But Osamu's already getting up off the floor to wander over to the next room. You debate pausing the show—it’s a really good scene—but you leave it going for Atsumu's sake because you’re pretty sure the narration is the only thing keeping him asleep. He’s kinda drooling on your shoulder and you have to push him off to go follow your boyfriend to the kitchen.

“What is all this stuff? Ugh…” Osamu's pawing through the fridge. There’s a lot of crinkling, plastic sounds—you catch a glimpse inside and all of the shelves are stacked up with plastic bags and styrofoam containers.

You yawn and hop up to sit on the kitchen island. “Takeout? I don’t think he cooks.” Atsumu's going to get a lecture tomorrow for keeping 2-week-old Indian food in his fridge. God knows you heard it way too many times before you and Osamu moved in together. You don’t envy 'Tsumu.

Osamu sits down in front of the fridge, fumbles with a drawer, and pulls out a bag of moldy grapes. “Gross…who lives like this…”

You snicker into your hand.

“I can’t find the pancakes.” 'Samu's pulling the plastic drawers all the way out now, setting them down on the floor as he inspects the contents of the fridge.

“They’re not here.”

“You ate them?”

“No, I— Hey, put those back in,” you tell him helplessly as he shuts the door of the fridge, ignoring all the leftover food he took out. Yeah, half of it was probably off anyway, but Atsumu's gonna be pissed if he wakes up and there’s takeout going bad all over his kitchen floor.

“You threw away my pancakes?” Now the look on Osamu's face is utter betrayal. He stands up off the floor and glares sulkily at you. “I made those for you…”

“I didn’t throw them away, they’re—“ You hold back a laugh and wish you had your phone on you (where did it go?) so you could take a picture. He’s so cute when he smokes. “—they’re at home.”

“At home?”

“Yep, at home. The place where you and me live, remember?”

“Oh.” Osamu pauses, reaches out absently to grab the edge of your sleeve. You’re wearing one of his hoodies. “We’re not at home?”

“Nope. We’re at Atsumu's place,” you tell him through a giggle.

He plays with your sleeve, contemplating. “Why?”

“Because we’re out of weed and he said he’d smoke us out. And we like hanging out with him.”

“Oh. We do?”

“Yes.”

“…’Kay.” It takes Osamu a second to accept this, but then he nods seriously. “(Y/N), I'm hungry.”

“I know. What do you want to eat? You could probably have any of that stuff, I don’t think he’ll miss it.”

'Samu thinks about it for a moment, scanning the array of takeout containers spread out across the kitchen floor. “I want pancakes.”

“The pancakes are at home, remember?”

“Yeah…” Osamu flips over his grip on your sleeve and traces his thumb down the lines in your palm. “I could make some?”

More pancakes? “I don’t think 'Tsumu has eggs, babe. Or flour. Or…baking soda?” You’re not really sure what ingredients go into pancakes. Whatever cooking skills you possessed pre-Osamu have deteriorated significantly since you moved in together and he took over any and all food preparation for your household.

He pouts at this, and his hair is a little messed up, and he’s so pretty that you can’t stand how much you like him in that second. Mine mine mine, something in the back of your brain says. He’s mine.

You reach up and Osamu obediently ducks his head down so you can smooth his hair back into place and fix the bits that are flipping over his part. “Is there anything else you want to eat?”

“Onigiri.”

“Oh…” Well, at least Atsumu probably has rice. “Sure. Ok. That’s your specialty.”

“I want ya to make it for me.”

“What?” You frown and pull your hand out of his. “You know my cooking sucks.”

“No it doesn’t. (Y/N)’s food’s the best.”

“You own an onigiri shop, come on—“

“Please?”

One of his bangs falls back in his eyes and without thinking you reach up to put it in place. “Okay, fine. But you can’t complain about it if it’s not good.”

He smiles and you want to blush. “Yes! I promise.”

So you do it for him. Even though you’re high too. You measure some rice and water into the rice cooker (Osamu has to give you pointers on how much of each to put in) and you scrounge around Atsumu's depressingly bare kitchen for a few sheets of seaweed and some easy fillings. Osamu pulls a stool up to the island counter and rests his chin on his hands so he can watch you with a bleary look of adoration on his face.

It takes you…maybe half an hour to be done? It’s hard to gauge time when you’re high. You and 'Samu both jump when the rice cooker finishes and plays the little rice cooker song, which will remain stuck in your head for the foreseeable future. 'Samu hums it in a loop while you shape the rice into lopsided triangles and wrap the nori around it.

“Here,” you tell him when you set the plate down in front of him. He looks entirely too happy to be eating your mediocre food for someone who literally does this for a living, but who cares.

He picks one, takes a bite, swallows. And blinks.

“What do you think?” you ask in spite of yourself.

“Umm…salty,” Osamu says.

You grab one to try yourself and it’s salty. Like, ocean salty. Yuck. “I told you it would be bad,” you complain, trying to tug the plate away but Osamu grabs it and pulls it back.

“Noooo…it’s good,” he lies, although his face is giving him away. Still, he takes another bite and chews enthusiastically.

“Shut up.” You tug a little harder but Osamu doesn’t let go.

He swallows, pulls a face, and takes another one. “So good. I love it.”

“Shut up. You sound so fake. You’re going to get sick if you eat that.” You keep pulling, but he insists on pretending it’s edible so you admit defeat and help him finish the onigiri off. God, they’re awful. But he keeps eating and so you do too.

When you’re done, your mouth feels dry as fuck and you want to sleep almost as much as you want to drink about a gallon of water. “Is it bedtime yet?” 'Samu asks, wiping his mouth and then rubbing his eyes again.

The clock over the oven says it’s past 4. “Yes. It’s bedtime.”

“Wait—we’re…we’re not at home, right? We’re at 'Tsumu's?”

“Mhm.”

“I prolly drove here…I dunno if I can drive now,” Osamu tells you slowly, like he’s apologizing. “I think I'm kinda high.”

“Oh yeah?” You hold your laugh back and put your hands up on his cheeks. “How do you feel?”

“Dizzy. Blurry? Like…you’re in slow-motion.” His hands come up to layer over yours. “You’re pretty in slow-mo.”

“Prettier than usual?”

Osamu closes his eyes, scrunching them up to think and then looking over your face intently. “Same amount, just slower. So it’s easier to see.”

“That so?” You slip your hands around to drape over his shoulders and get up on your tiptoes to give him a little kiss on the cheek, because he’s earned it. “You know what, I think I'm kinda high too. I think we’re going to have to have a sleepover.”

“On the couch? S’not big enough for us both.”

“You can sleep with 'Tsumu in his bed…or I guess you could sleep on the ground?”

'Samu's mouth twists and his brows draw together. You can practically hear the gears in his mind turning while he considers alternatives. “Can we share the bed?”

“I think Atsumu's gonna want it. It’s his house.”

“But he’s already sleeping.”

True, you can hear Atsumu snoring lightly from the living room underneath David Attenborough’s description of endangered falcons in the Philippine rainforest. You should really wake him up—matter of fact, you should really clean up the kitchen because it’s a huge mess—but 'Samu's already pulling you away. And you’re so sleepy.

“He’s going to be pissed tomorrow,” you tell Osamu through a yawn, but you let him steer you in the direction of Atsumu's bedroom, holding your hand.

“Don’t care…I hate sleeping without you.”

“Yeah,” you say, and you squeeze his hand and he looks back at you like you’re the literal best thing in the entire universe—and you decide you should get him high more often. “Same.”

[whimsywispsblog]

RED

A/N: Hello Wispies! Here's chapter 4!

This chapter was a little difficult to write and personally, I found it pretty dry. But I promise you, the next chapter will be a better read!

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

"Holy shit! I overslept, damn it!" Rei whined, running towards the safehouse after almost getting into a collision accident with a car. Cheeks flushed from the chilly air, heavy unsteady breaths and beads of sweat on her forehead- she was a complete mess. Or so she thought. But just as she reached for the door of the safehouse, another figure walked out and there, the two of them collided. Rei fell on her butt with a small whine while the stranger hardly moved an inch.

"Woah there doll, you hurt?" The stranger extended an arm to the girl. Rei blinked a few times, trying to reorient herself after the unexpected fall. She looked up to see the ruggedly charming stranger with a friendly grin on his face. She studied his face for a second. I know him...

"Thank you and sorry abo-."

"Don't worry about it." Rei took his arm, while he pulled her up with ease and chuckled at her flustered state. Rei observed the man's rugged face. Despite his rough exterior, she could sense a certain emotional intensity and gentleness behind his aggressive facade.

"Name's Woods." Rei jerked lightly at his sudden boisterous introduction, as she was pulled out of her thoughts. Oh, he's Frank Woods! A playful smile danced on her lips as she extended her hand.

"I am Rei!" The girl shook his arm excitedly, making the other man chuckled.

"If you two are done giggling like high school idiots," Rei turned towards the source of the sound. It was none other than her beloved grumpy ice-cube mentor, Hudson. He definitely looks unimpressed. But he didn't even look at her, he was busy glaring at Woods. And Woods returned the glare with an equal intensity of hate and contempt. What's going on?

"Uhm... I think I'll go over Aach's evidence." The younger girl awkwardly danced on her tiptoes, squirming between the staring competition going on between the two men.

"Of course. Also tonight, you go with Adler." Hudson grumbled, glancing at Rei briefly. Oh bloody hell, not another grumpy-shades! Rei excused herself stomping into the safehouse. "Not again, not again ahahah." She kept muttering gibberish, unknowingly attracting a lot of attention from the others in the safehouse, including Adler's, at her sudden agitated entry.

"What's up with her? She was all smiles and cheery last couple of days." Sims chuckled.

"Probably needs her morning coffee." Baker snorted, bringing his attention back to his weapon. Adler sighed lightly, grabbing his cup of coffee and walked towards Rei's office.

"Keep it professional Adler." Park chimed, trying to stifle down her uncontrollable giggles.

"You're becoming brave, Park," Adler muttered exasperatedly. He barged open the door, startling the girl for the nth time.

"Knocking exists." Rei puffed her cheeks in irritation. Adler ignored the girl as he grabbed a nearby chair and sat down, placing his mug on her table. He took a moment to observe her workspace. It had a lot of pinks. He studied the girl carefully while she wasn't looking at him: Impeccable makeup, long dark hair with honey highlights tied up in a neat ponytail, comfortable yet elegant clothing. And everything had a pink element. 'So put together yet so chaotic. A peculiar one indeed.'

"If you're done trying to scrutinise me, Mr Adler," She finally put the file away, looking at him with an unreadable expression. "What are we doing tonight?" Her eyes widened slightly with curiosity or it was her method of trying to seem more awake and interested- Adler couldn't tell which. But with the tilt of her face towards the left, he assumed it was curiosity.

"Yes, I need a little bit of assistance. Nothing big actually, just go to a cafe and plant the hearing device. Get the intel and get out." Adler stopped briefly, inhaling his cigarette.

"That's it?" Rei asked, her eyes searching for answers in Adler's eyes covered by his shades.

"Yes. Sims will stay for back up if things go haywire," Rei looked down, her stomach churning as anxiety started consuming her mind. She unconsciously pressed her fingernails to her nailbed- an act not gone noticed by Adler. "As soon as I drop you at the cafe, go directly towards the man I point to and plant the device whenever you think is safe."

"Who is the man?" Adler stubbed his cigarette and pushed a file towards her. Rei took the file carefully and started going through its contents.

"How good is your Russian?"

"Decent," Rei replied not looking up from the file.

"German?"

"Rusty, but not bad." She finally looked up at Adler. He nodded, getting up from his chair.

"A colleague of mine, Grigori Weaver will be there." Adler pushed a tattered file of Weaver towards the girl. Rei admired the picture of the one-eyed enigmatic looking operative. "He will stay till you plant the device after which he will leave to help me out if needed." Rei gave out a soft 'uhum', her eyes glued to Weaver's file. "5 hours to prepare."

-

"Thank you." Rei smiled sweetly at the waitress as she placed her coffee in front of her. I am glad my German doesn't sound too off. Rei looked across the café towards Weaver who had his intent gaze on the girl the entire time. She had planted the device as soon as she entered the Café and luckily no one noticed except for Weaver. She slowly set up the device in front of her, bending a little forward towards it, while covering it with a humongous book that she had bought on the way. The device was as small as a matchbox, easy to hide. Finally, time to use my fancy toys!

"Adler, the girl has finished setting up." Rei gave out a small sigh of relief while Weaver updated Adler and walked out of the Café, giving her a small nod.

"Alright. Rei, if you suspect anything dangerous or suspicious, get out."

"Understood," Rei whispered, listening to her device. She quickly jotted down whatever she could make out from the conversation on the book she had brought, writing down everything in riddles. 'Perseus has got someone in the CIA. Stitch will get them. She was a clever one- she got another ignorant one to take the bullet for her...Not careful who they hire' Rei looked tense for a moment. Stitch, bloody Stitch! Who the hell is he?! And who is the ignorant girl?

"Adler, he's leaving," Rei whispered.

"Get out whenever you're done. Meet me near the bar. I'll be there." Rei started packing up her belongings and paid the waitress with a generous tip. The anxiety started to bubble within Rei as she bit the soft skin of her inner lip, unconsciously drawing blood. Clever girl? Took the bullet? As she walked towards the park, the girl kept overanalysing and repeating whatever happened at the meeting. He knows something. Suddenly, the girl tripped over her foot, but the fall never came. Instead, two strong arms held her waist.

"You should be careful." Rei looked up to her saviour. Weaver. A small wry smile formed on her lips.

"Yea...Thank you." Weaver nodded, walking towards his car. Adler dumped a loaded body bag, closing the door. The two men exchanged words, parting with a nod and Weaver left the duo on the street.

"Get in, let's go." Adler walked towards his car, while Rei walked soullessly towards it.

"You are too careless and distracted." Rei glanced at Adler.

"I need water." Adler nodded, grabbing a bottle from the side. Rei muttered a thank you, taking the bottle and chugging it down hastily. And then she choked on it, earning an amused, yet judgemental look from Adler.

"Who chokes on water." He chuckled lightly, intent on irritating the girl.

"People die from choking." Rei tried to speak between the coughs. She looked up for some time and breathed in deeply, trying to calm her epiglottis reflexes down. Once she had gotten rid of the coughs, she glared at Adler. "And you ran over that speed bump when I was drinking."

"Then you should have looked ahead, kid." This man...

"I am not a kid, I'm bloody 30." Rei huffed and puffed her cheeks again, crossing her arms over her chest.

"But you act like one," Adler smirked lightly, knowing that the girl was clearly irritated with him.

"Well, I'm not the one who strutted in and accused someone of a traitor."

"I never called you a traitor, kid." Adler was calm, a hint of amusement in his voice.

"But you did imply with the little interrogation."

"That's my privilege."

"Privilege to be rude, cynical and apathetic towards me?" Adler looked at the girl with an unreadable expression. She could see his eyes through the shades- not clearly, but he was definitely looking deep into hers. It wasn't intimidating, it was just a serious expression.

"No. I am cautious. Unlike your 'empathetic heart', I prefer to stick to realism and rationality." Rei raised an eyebrow. Adler turned back to the road, letting the girl process his words.

"Wha- I am not an idiot!" The girl growled lightly, but her face could hardly daunt the man. Adler looked at her widened doe-eyes and pouted lips and puffed cheeks with an amused but a hint of endearment at the girl's attempt to overpower him.

"Is that what you took from it, Rei?" This man's cockiness...

"No, I just want you to know that just because I am empathetic, doesn't mean that I am an idiot. Nor am I controlled by my emotions." Rei stated calmly, a little bit of anger still lingering in her tone. Adler glanced for a second at the girl. His eyes caught the upper lobe and conch piercing that gleamed under the traffic lights. A small smile danced on his lips, one that was hard to observe.

"You're naive, kid."

"I am not naive and don't kid me." With that, the two of them continued the ride in silence. Except for occasional deep sighs and breaths, Adler's lighter and the gear bring shifted, the ride was a comfortably silent one. Rei rested her head against the window, the cold air lulling her eyes to sleep and the scent of smoke from Adler giving her a sense of safety. Adler turned to look at a fast asleep Rei. He could hear a soft snore escaping from her mouth. With extreme caution and gentleness, he slowly took the big book from Rei that was hanging at the edge of her lap, ready to fall onto her feet. The girl shifted a little, curling her body a little towards the side, while Adler threw the book in the backseat and continued the ride.

Rei groggily woke up to a soft tap on her arm. She stretched and yawned a little, reminding Adler of his cat back home. He suppressed a smile and got out of the car first, grabbing the book from the back. Rei got out a few seconds later, sleep spell still in her eyes.

"Give the intel to Hudson, I will join you in a bit." Adler handed the book to Rei. The girl nodded, walking into the safehouse.

-

"'Not careful who they hire'. That's what he kept repeating, according to the girl and the intel." Adler nodded, listening to Weaver.

He looked around the safehouse. Everyone except Rei was present. He looked outside and she wasn't there too. He concluded that she must be inside her room, analysing the rest of the evidence.

"Rei seems to fit in all the checkboxes. But the girl isn't even aware- or she's good at acting."

"Adler, no matter how good a person is at acting naive, there will be a moment of wavering. And that moment cannot go unnoticed, especially from the two of us."

Adler had to agree with Weaver. She was too consistent- almost inhumanely possible to keep the facade on even during both their breaking points.

"True."

"Hudson's not going to be happy if we suspect Rei." Adler stubbed his cigarette in the ashtray, leaving the Russian.

"It's none of his business."

-

In her room, Rei held her necklace- a broken one. Tears started stinging her eyes as she stared at the broken piece of the remnant that her Dada had left for her. I should have stopped pulling it. Fuck. Maybe someone out there can help me fix this.

She started to walk out when she smashed her face against a hard body and dropped her necklace and the pendant. "Fuck! Dada!" The girl bent down, frantically looking for the broken necklace and the red-star pendant. She ignored the person who stood by the door, studying the scene in front of him.

"Here." Rei looked up, a hand reached out to her. The pendant. with a sigh of relief and happiness, Rei grabbed the pendant and clutched it tightly, looking up to thank the person. And it was none other than Grigori Weaver.

"Thank you." The girl smiled with a respectful nod, standing up and dusting herself.

"Dada? That belonged to your father?" Rei froze. Shit, he must have heard it.

"That's what the woman at the orphanage told me. I always kept it close." Please please don't ask me any more questions.

"Mhm...You knew him?" The girl shook her head, a sad expression on her face. Weaver gave a small sympathetic smile. The girl's eyes started tearing up and Weaver had caught it.

"I wish I did." She replied with a sad smile. With that, she walked out of her room.

Rei hadn't noticed that she had kept one of her Gulag papers open. Once she was far, Weaver walked towards her table, going through the papers.

'Names of Gulags' 'Possibility of Survival' 'Ask Mason'

But nothing had anything relating to Stitch or Perseus or the Union. "She's looking for her father," Weaver whispered. He immediately walked out of the room, looking for Adler.

A/N: Also, I didn't give the name of the person they were supposed to spy on because... I couldn't come up with one and they weren't really important- just a tool to convey a certain piece of info.

TAGLIST:

@sophtheunlikelybakeryfestival

@quizzyisdone

@lovinggooppalacebanana

@nikkibell1937

@russelladlergirl22

@smokeywhalee

@pookolokon

@lucky-comfortzone-world

[eldritchsurveys]

667.

1. If you found a baby turtle on the side of the road, would you pick it up and keep it? >> If I found a baby of any species on the side of the road, I’m not going to pick it up and keep it, I’m going to call the appropriate authorities and let them handle it. The fuck am I doing with a baby anything? 2. Did you and your mum ever have a big fight that caused you to move out? >> --- 3. Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? >> --- 4. Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better? >> It was all right. At least the Sun was out a bit, and I managed to go out for once. Mostly I’m glad to be back in my bed now, lol. 5. Do you have any plans for the upcoming weekend? >> No.

6. How about you, do you have a bf/gf? >> Hm. 7. Could you date someone very attractive, but who thought they were better than everyone else? >> I don’t date, period, but I also wouldn’t hang out with someone who had a superiority complex. 8. So do you have a best friend? >> No. 9. What would you do if your best friend kissed the last person you kissed? >> --- 10. Do you dislike anyone? >> Not really. There are people I don’t really want to be around, of course, but I can’t think of anyone specific that I’m like “fuck that guy in particular” about except for people that have unapologetically hurt me (in which case it’s less “I dislike you” and more “I don’t even want to acknowledge your existence”). 11. Did you message your best friend today? >> --- 12. Do you think you will be in a relationship two months from now? >> I don’t see why not. 13. Do you always feel like you’re making mistakes? >> Yeah, because I have Trauma Brain. But I also know that I don’t make any more mistakes than the average person and most of my mistakes are easily fixed. 14. How do you feel about your hair right now? >> I’m going to need to buzz it again soon. 15. Does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it? >> Maybe someone has a tattoo of my name, because my name doesn’t just belong to me. But no one has a tattoo of my name that is actually about me. 16. Who did you last see shirtless? >> A couple of characters on Carnivale (before one of them got hanged with the word “HARLOT” carved into her forehead, of course. this is Carnivale after all). 17. How would you feel if you got the person you liked? >> --- 18. Do you think you can last in a relationship for six months without cheating? >> *sigh* 19. Do you like to make the first move? >> The first move to what? 20. Do you think you will ever be married? >> I am married. 21. Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? >> Sure. 22. Is it possible to be single and happy? >> Duh? 23. Was the first person you talked to today male or female? >> The first person I spoke to was the bartender at Gardella’s, who is female. 24. Do you remember who you liked on New Year’s? >> --- 25. Are you a morning person or a night person? I’m barely a person. <-- mood 26. Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? >> Whether I “can” or not is irrelevant because I don’t fucking want to. 27. Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough? >> Sure. 28. Is there anyone who likes you? >> --- 29. If the last person you kissed saw you kissing someone else, would they be mad? >> --- 30. Do you understand football? >> I understand American football. I don’t know anything about soccer football except the obvious bits. 31. What’s the first thing you heard this morning? >> I don’t know. 32. Who last called you beautiful? >> I don’t know. 33. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? >> No. 34. How many kids do you want when you get older? >> --- 35. Are you the type of person who has a new boyfriend/girlfriend every week? >> Of course not. 36. Ever been called a jerk/bitch? >> Yep. 37. Do you have feelings for anyone? >> Bold of you to assume I have feelings-- 38. If you fell pregnant to the last person you kissed, what would you think? >> Falling while pregnant is dangerous, oof-- 39. What’s your full name? >> *eldritch screeching* 40. Are you young or old? >> Depends on your perspective -- to a child I’m old, to a middle-aged person I’m young, etc. 41. What’s the gender? >> Oh, the gender outside is frightful... 42. How’s your heart been lately? >> You know. Beating and such. 43. Why aren’t you in bed? >> I am, though. 44. Did you do laundry today? >> No. 45. What kind of computer do you have? >> I have an MSI Leopard Pro and a Lenovo Ideapad. 46. Are there always other fish in the sea? >> Not if you overfish. 47. What can your tongue do? >> You know. Lick stuff. Form phonemes. Get chemical burns when I eat too many sour candies in a row. 48. What do you think your mum does when she goes out? >> --- 49. Do chickens have feelings? >> I don’t know anything about chicken neurology/psychology. 50. Do you think the body is the most beautiful thing that was ever made? >> No. 51. So how are you feeling today? >> Neutral. 52. Where is your sister right now? >> --- 53. Name five things you did today? >> Took a bus, drank at a bar, briefly logged into ESO, watched an episode of Carnivale, ate mac n’ cheese with bacon. 54. What kind of phone do you have? >> Moto g6. 55. What are you listening to? >> Nothing. 56. What do you smell like? >> A bit like my roll-on oil and a bit like my whipped shea butter. Mostly just like... clean skin or whatever. 57. What colour are your eyes? >> Dark brown. 58. Have you ever done a Chinese fire drill? >> No. 59. Do you know someone named Betsy? >> No. 60. What colour is your mum’s hair? >> --- 61. Do you have a dog? Breed? Name? >> No. 62. Do you remember singing any songs as a kid? >> I mean, yeah? 63. Are you married? >> Yes. 64. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? >> --- 65. Do you play an instrument? >> No. 66. Do you like fire? >> Sure, fire is nice. In moderation. 67. Are you allergic to anything? >> No. 68. Have you ever been to a spa? >> I’ve been to a nail spa because Sparrow works at one. I’ve also been to the Aveda spa that she did her training in years ago. 69. Do you miss someone? >> No. 70. Views on premarital sex? >> I have no views on it. I really can’t fathom having an opinion on whomst other people fuck and when. 71. What is a noise that you cannot stand? >> Face sounds. Any of them. Eating, breathing, sniffling, lip-licking, eugh. Stay away. (Sometimes I can hear myself blinking and I want to rip my eyelids off. It’s bad.) 72. Do you know how to do a cartwheel? >> Yeah. 73. What is the most you are willing to spend on a pair of sunglasses? >> Not much. 74. Does your mum vacuum early in the morning while you’re asleep? >> --- 75. Do you shower naked? >> Do I look like Tobias Funke to you? 76. Does wearing glasses really make people look smart? >> That’s not my interpretation. People with glasses just look like people with glasses. 77. Are you ADD or ADHD? >> No. 78. Do your band-aids have cartoons on them? >> I FUCKING WISH. I was so mad when I needed band-aids for my feet and none of the ones in the size I needed came in cartoon print. The only ones with fun designs were little baby band-aids. I think as an adult I should be able to buy whatever the fuck kind of band-aids I want, including ones with Stitch on them. Fuck you. 79. Have you ever kissed someone you shouldn’t have? >> Probably. 80. In one word, how would you define yourself? >> I wouldn’t. 81. Tell me about a dream you had recently? >> I can’t, I can never remember them anymore. I get vague wispy impressions upon waking, and then even those disappear after a few minutes. I feel disconnected from dream!Mordred and I’m so curious at what it’s been up to. 82. Who’s the funniest drunk person you know? >> --- 83. How did you feel when you woke up? >> Fine, I guess. 84. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? >> I don’t know, probably something related to Sparrow knocking around as she got ready for work, because that’s my first sensory memory upon awakening. 85. Name something great that happened on Friday? >> It’s Thursday, ask me on Saturday. 86. When was the last time you saw your father? >> --- 87. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now? >> No. 88. Have you ever been kissed by a person whose name starts with J? >> Yeah. 89. Do you crack your knuckles? >> Yeah. 90. What were you doing twenty minutes ago? >> Probably still this survey, since it’s so long. 91. You’re thinking about someone, aren’t you? >> No. 92. Have you held hands with anyone in the past twenty-four hours? >> No. 93. What would you do if your partner still kept pictures of their ex? >> Nothing? That doesn’t affect me. 94. What if your partner went through your cellphone? >> I wouldn’t be with someone that went through my belongings without my express permission. 95. What if your partner was flirting with another girl/boy? >> I’d be glad for her. I hope she gets whatever she’s looking for from that interaction. 96. Ever liked someone you thought you didn’t stand a chance with? >> --- 97. You want someone/something? >> Not really. 98. Is there really a difference between Coke and Pepsi? >> Yeah, which is why many people have a preference. 99. Is there any emotion you’re trying to avoid right now? >> No. 100. Are there any mistakes with your recent ex you wish you could have changed? >> I’m pretty sure the entire situation in itself was a mistake, and it was changed, by us ending up having no contact with each other. 101. Has anyone ever been with you while you were throwing up? >> I mean, sure. 102. Background on your computer? >> Right now it’s a wallpaper with a scene from the movie Interstellar. (My desktop wallpaper is on a shuffle timer.) 103. Have you cried recently? >> Like, within the last week, probably. 104. Who has hurt you the most? >> I don’t know. 105. Are you happy with where you are relationship-wise now? >> Sure. 106. What language do you want to learn? >> --- 107. Your ex’s car breaks down and they ask you for a lift. Your response? >> I mean, I don’t drive, dude. Also, we live in wildly different parts of the country. This is just so many layers of implausible. 108. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? >> ---

[lifeafterten]

RtN 06: Kathmandu... Dude, Where am I?

Please note that everything from this point on is new as fuck to me. Walking down the steps as we got off the plane I felt... Cold as shit. Beneath my pull over I felt my skin prickle as I struggled to suppress a shiver. I breathed out slowly. It took me a while to recognize the wispy puffs as my breath in the cold night air.  Ah shit. Well, that’s a first. Lani smiled at me, her eyes glowing in her excitement despite the time (which was late), “We’re here!”

We certainly were. If the large “Welcome” sign with a Buddha statue was any indication. 

I felt my hand tighten around the duffel strap resting on my chest. Well Ashley, you managed to get your ass here. Now what? It was a valid question, but I assumed first order of business was to be where we needed to be.. and where we needed to be was where the crowd was.  Very fish-like... This whole “following-the-crowd” business. Very salmon-swimming-up-stream feel. Too many people. Too many bodies. Not enough room. Not enough air. I bite the inside of my cheek to keep quiet as I tried to keep my panic internal.  I’m successful. I was able stamp down the panic quickly and viciously-- feeling accomplished that I haven’t reached the sweating stage.

Going through customs was as nerve wracking as it was... nerve wracking. A plethora of To-Do’s popped in my noggin all at once. Making lists soothes me.

1. Turn in paperwork 2. Find baggage claim 3. Turn in more paperwork 4. Find transportation to Hotel 5. Try not to dwell on who the fuck we’re meeting up with.

Truthfully, 1-4 didn’t bother me nearly as much as 5 did. 1-4 was something I can gladly figure out, I’m good with necessity-- horrible at Humaning. We figured that Paul (Lani’s friend who had invited us on this little excursion) wasn’t going to make it. Sorta figured that part since Hong Kong-- The man went M.I.A for a tad, after apologizing profusely to Lani via WhatsApp.  Don’t know the man personally, but I’ve heard good things from just about everyone.  So this wasn’t a normal occurrence, according to Lani... and that’s all well and good, but that just leaves us with two of Paul’s friends Zach and Adrian. Don’t rightly know who is whom, which Lani finds hilarious that I didn’t correspond with either nor did I even get nosy enough to take a peek at their profile pictures on the WhatsApp group Paul started.  It’s not that I didn’t have an interest on who was coming, I just thought it best to meet people organically.  This generation puts way to much stock on digital meetings that it gets depressing.  And let’s face it-- I can be a little old fashioned sometimes. Despite my lack of digital interaction I was aware that Zach was the more socially active one, I can safely deduce this by the more consistent communication between him and Lani. Truthfully, I don’t think we heard much from Adrian. Hailing our first Nepal Taxi we packed our things in the trunk and slid across pleather seats.

I reached for my seat belt out of habit, because... you know, I like not dying and shit-- but turns out my motives for safety were for naught because this taxi did not have any. No seat belts.  Driver was on the right side. Driver was driving on the left side--Right side--Whatever fucking side he wanted. I was learning that the traffic signs and lanes and rules were more of a suggestion rather than an actual anything. And there were no seat belts. ... Yeah the seat belt thing kinda bothered me. After a few quick-- startlingly sharp-- turns we pull up to the side of the road next to a dark (of course it’s fucking dark, it’s night time) alley. Lani and I looked at eachother, I offered a small, tired smile. “The map did say we’d have to do a short walk to the hotel.” Again, I said this with a calm I did not feel. Feels like I’m gonna be doing that shit alot for the next couple weeks. We smiled politely and paid the man and slid our packs onto our shoulders, duffles and side bags strapped over our chests. “Hotel is not far. Everything okay.” Our taxi driver assured us in heavily accented English before driving away, and we stood on the street staring at the mouth of the alley in silence. I stood there in quiet contemplation.  It’s only a small walk, right? ... Through an unlit alley in a strange country. Just a couple of Guam girls frolicking through the unexplored streets of Nepal. At night. Strapped with every possession we have on our bodies. Passport. Funds. Livelihood. Whatever, right? I’m totally cool with it. ... I totally wasn’t cool with it. ”Welp,” I broke the silence with a jovial tone I once again did not feel and sallied forth, “Let’s get this show on the road.” It really was a short walk, but wandering through uncharted territory always make things feel longer. Our eyes wide to take in as much light as we could as we scanned through the poorly lit street.  We eventually made it to the hotel aptly named Hotel Buddha. It appeared brightly lit compared to the other shops surrounding it, deeming it an actual sight for sore eyes. I felt relief. One more thing to check off the list. I felt calmer knowing that the more things we check off my mental list, the more I felt on track.  I need structure. Too many things are out of my control in life-- I find the ones I can control precious. 

We were escorted to our room as quietly as you please (again, it was the middle of the night), every echo sounding like a shout. You can tell the room had been aired out briefly, but not long enough for the air still held that stale, stuffy feel. Like the air had just started circulating after a bout of stagnancy.  I didn’t take pictures of the room-- I’m shitty at documenting imagery. I’m usually too focused on experiencing with my own eyes and getting lost in my train of thought. But I found a picture that was close enough.

Disclaimer: it wasn’t as well lit. And the picture is way over produced to even touch the reality. This picture is...  more of a romanticized version of what our room was. Though the bed set up was accurate: crisp, white sheets complimented the bold colors of maroon and gold. The beds weren’t uncomfortable; the sheets were clean, there was running water and we weren’t exposed to the elements. Nothing to complain about. It was comfortable enough for me... Well, as comfortable as I could be in a strange room in a strange hotel in a strange place. Ah. There was that feeling small feeling again. I’d have shaken myself if I didn’t think I’d look even more crazy than I felt.  I managed to curb the urge. Just barely.

It wasn’t until I placed my bags onto my designated bed for the next few days when Lani with her phone in hand, decided to drop the bomb on me. “We’re meeting up with Zach and Adrian.” Oh shit. Now now now, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with these guys-- Just don’t know ‘em from Adam.  “--- think Adrian just landed an hour or so before us.” my friend kept on while I tried to quell my inner panic for what seemed like the millionth time since we fucking landed. 

I’m not good at meeting new people. I’d already decided on doing the generic cheek kiss thing, knowing if they touched my hands it’d be a dead giveaway that I was an anxious pile of shit.  “---Meeting up in about fifteen minutes, you cool with that? Is that enough time?” Goodness was she still talking? Damn what did she say? Using the power of deduction I’ve gathered that she meant that we were meeting up with them in about 15. I would assume they’re dropping by the hotel, I vaguely remember her saying something-- damn my half listening-- about them being at a bar. --- Wait. Bar. Bar means beer. I could use a beer. I nodded, “yeah, that’s more than enough time.” I was proud that my voice didn’t waver, but instead sounded calm and collected-- dare I say even nonchalant. Good job, Ashley. For not sounding like a little bitch.  Fake it ‘till you make it. That has become my mantra. I wasn’t going to change clothes, so I was pretty much ready... Didn’t really wear make up so I didn’t have anything to fix... So I used this time, instead, to mentally prepare. I’ve learned I had to do this a lot throughout the years. If I don’t, I usually give in to the urge to flee.  Probably not the best thing to do in a foreign place. At night. Did I mention I was in a foreign place? Lani and I found ourselves outside the hotel waiting for our new friends.  I’ve decided on friends, I’m trying out this whole open thing.  I’m not very good at it, but I’m trying. I heard a shout from down the road, two figures amongst other figures walking the street appeared to be making a beeline in our direction. I don’t know about you, but I thought it safe to assume they were who we were waiting for. I also thought it was safe to assume the one with his hands in the air literally waving it like he just don’t care was Zach.

(Disclaimer: Zach isn’t asian. Just happy. Happy to see us or happy in general, I’d guess the latter.) 

The duo got closer. One was smiling. One was not. I immediately deemed the smiling one as Zach, and the one making an attempt at a lip curl that wasn’t a snarl but not quite a smile either was Adrian.

I did my generic “nice to meet you” cheek kissy thingie that seem girls get away with, while Lani did her genuine smile and greetings-- I do envy that of her.   Zach and Lani got on well almost immediately, animated expressions and wide, toothy grins. Happy expressions; excited expressions. I don’t know what to make of Adrian. He makes the same faces I do. Limited. Although his expressions are more limited than mine-- like he’s had more practice. He’s hard to read. I don’t know if I like that much. We immediately start walking in search of a drinking establishment; apparently the bars close a bit early here. It became clear, very quickly, that we basically follow the crowd and the music. I’m hanging back a little bit-- not only because that’s just what I do, but because they’re all pretty tall so I had a wee bit of trouble keeping up with their long legged strides with my stumps I call legs.

We stumbled across a place we deemed the Ninja Turtle Bar, nothing overly creative on our part, really. We just saw a painted rendition of the turtles on the wall and deemed it so.  I heard the music before we entered the elevator, and I felt the music in my chest as we entered it.  As the doors opened we were met with strobe lights and a smokey atmosphere-- cigarettes or a smoke machine I could not tell you.  The music was loud. They were playing 90′s jams which normally I’d not mind if I didn’t feel every beat ricochet in my chest cavity. It was loud... Pretty smokey, we weren’t feeling the vibe so we got a shot in good faith and got the hell out of dodge.

So the first place didn’t work out. No big deal. Everyone seemed to be in good spirits. I think. Wasn’t sure about that Adrian dude, still can’t get a decent read.  Although we did exchange a look of affectionate indulgence when we witnessed Zach and Lani just living their best life. His for Zach, mine for Lani. At least we can agree that we were travelling with balls of sunshine personified.  Maybe I was glad that I wasn’t the only one who wasn’t that overtly cheerful.  Nothing wrong with being cheerful, just don’t think I could handle that much energy for long periods of time.  Shit. I just got tired thinking about it just now.

With positivity and willpower we found ourselves in a dessert cafe/bar. I know, weird combination, but it was quaint, quiet, and they had beer. I wasn’t going to complain. The staff were friendly and good natured. Zach made friends almost immediately. I’m thinking he does that everywhere he goes. I aspire to be a Zach one day. To be that open and free. I used to be at one point. I have a feeling I know what happened, but I don’t want my mind to go there. I’m on vacation dammit. And I’m negative enough as it is. I’ve never been so glad to see that Lani had poured me a glass of brew.  I plead the sip.

After a few (drinks or hours-- I can’t remember which) we collectively agreed it was time to turn in.  We bid the friendly staff a grinning goodnight-- err morning... whatever-- and stepped out into the street to make our way back to the hotel.

Before leaving earlier that night, the guards told Lani and I to just knock on the security grilles (those pull down shutter lookin’ thingies idfk what they’re called) when we want to be let back in.  Knock knock. Who’s there? We’re back. Welcome back. End scene.

We exchanged ‘good night’s and ‘see you in the morning’s with the boys and headed to our room. Lani was asleep almost immediately as I spent most of the night staring at the back of my eye lids for an hour, before giving up on sleep entirely and eventually opening them to watch the outside change from night to day and listen to the chickens crow signalling the start of a new day while my mind and body are still living yesterday. And the day before. TBC...

[dystovian]

Headcanons for the paladins reactions when their S/o gets hit with some kind of magic and they suddenly become 6?

this is long but you guys deserve it because I’ve been very inactive and busy, but I actually really liked writing this so thank you for the request!!

[Shiro:]•ok so it was basically a surprise attack???•like you all landed on a new planet (Osnora) to go speak with civilians and ask if the Galra had arrived•the species that resided there were known as Zoagantu! a strangely tall species with large glowing eyes. Which, predominantly, look human like. The only skin color that was strange was the dark blue of the leader.•and you, Shiro and Hunk were to check out the North part of the village•you all scared the absolute crap out of their leader, Mayama•who was some abnormally tall man who in fear, landed to his knees and slammed his hands into the ground, blue wispy magic exploded into a huge wave and just crashed into all of you•turns out, the leader wasn’t even scared at all. apparently a long time ago his village was given a fortune, that if a visitor were hit with magic, they’d turn into a child, thus being the rightful ruler of that village in the future•the man stood, pumped his fists and cheered•shiro “UHM???? NO ? NOT GOOD?”•you stared at your hands in literal disgust because,,,why?•you all went back to the castle, along with the leader who spoke with Allura and Coran while staring you down from afar, “wth”•you were literally grumpy the entire time, but you kind of liked the affection you were getting•even keith audibly ‘aw’d at you•GIGGLING from both you and Shiro•Shiro literally had you on a leash because despite having the same brain/thoughts, you had the equivalent impulse control as a 6 year old•the leader eventually explained that it should wear off soon, and also, the only way you could’ve turned into a child is if you were of the Zoagantu descent. (Oooo)•you weren’t fully though, only half, but Humans have more Dominant genes than those on Osnora•you literally only ate goo the whole time and Hunk hand fed you, you even had to shout at him that you were 6, not 2•Lance “I MADE CLOTHES”•"is this why you said that dumb thread the needle joke" “pidge, shhhhshshh”•eventually you turned back and about a week later, shiro left that Garrison phone of pidges on the table and you looked at it•the photos man,,,,the ffffffphotos•fun fact: he was barely around you when you had become 6,, because every time he saw you it made him think about having a kid with you some day and he’ll get blushy and nervous•you eventually bring it up, like ‘hey why were you ignoring me at the time’ and he blurts it out•you cry tears of joy tho

—

[Lance:]•you and Lance were inside of a Galra Ship•he went ahead to see if the area was clear•someone, unknown, had grabbed you by the back of the neck and you knocked out immediately •he came back and there you were•a ffffujckn 6 year old child•he had to wrap you up in the fabric of your suit (similar to alluras)•he ran back straight away, shouting at them that something happened but not really saying what it was•every body was panicking •allura “Keith, go wait at the entrance and back then up just incase”•gets down there and wow, lance, holding a CHILD in his arms •keith just ??????????? hahuh?•turns out it would take a really long time•but you still needed to do missions, you NEEDED to or you’d throw tantrums•you got to climb through small spaces to get info or let the team in a locked room•you did so once, didn’t realize a soldier was there•the last thing they saw? You in the form of 6 year old child scream before you knocked them out•Lance would literally come in right after and treat you like you were his child, like omg r u alright?•pidge would high5 you just saying….•eventually they landed on a planet filled with people who actually KNOW altean magic•while allura is admiring one when fixing you, you eventually turn back to your normal age…..eventually…in time•everyday you aged a year, so you had to wait awhile until you were back to normal and let’s just say it was basically like Coran going back in time in age•Lance was so glad to have you back but would force you to take pictures every day until you were back to normal•every other day since you grew, they’d have to get new clothing.•you and lance would go to a space mall or two and get clothing•you actually skipped getting clothes half the time and would go do some dumb things, arcades, Space Comics

—

[Hunk:]•Allura decided it would be a good idea to test something out of hers•did not explain what it did, as it was a surprise•you volunteered to help as well, knowing very well that it would be used on you•it was actually supposed to make you younger•coran shut the lights, and everyone stood still•a big FLASH of pink light came up, and it showed Allura pointing a cube toward you•Hunk GASPED and yelled like literally wth just happened•lights, camera, toddler•there you were, little tiny you just chilling on the floor•you weren’t necessarily six years old, although the haircut you had and the outfit you were was one you wore at the age of 6•you were only 3•you had on blue overalls, and a yellow+white striped shirt under it•Shiro started crying•Hunk ran to you and picked you up and was honestly speechless•asked Allura if they could keep you like that for a while, but sadly it could only be 2 hours•within the two hours everyone was playing with you•you liked Keith way more than anyone else and hunk was so upset I’m chrhdnn •by the time you were changed back (it’s automatic), Lance had found a way to print the photos they took of you. Hunk and Allura were making clothes, Keith had you on his shoulders, Pidge was inventing toys for you. Coran was making “#1 Uncle” coffee mugs •Shiro was just beyond happy•Lance still put up the photos, Coran still gave you the mugs, Pidge saved the toys for another day•Keith almost died, was not expecting you to turn back and his knees gave out and yeah•Shiro actually lol’d•Hunk and Allura groaned and threw everything, all that hard work, what were they even thinking•he was glad to have you back tho and hugged you, asked why you liked Keith better and you giggled•he eventually asked Lance if he had any copies of those photos, took them as his own and hid them in his pockets

—

[Keith:]•basically Keith has no impulse control whatsoever•kinda dumb, but he ran into an army, scoped out the area and such, and saw Haggar who ALSO saw him, and immediately said no.•didn’t realize Haggar was trying to hit him when he was running out but you did•you basically get smacked all the way into Keith, who immediately grabs you and drags you away and to safety•you don’t turn right away, but you fall into a 2 day coma•the night before you woke up, Keith had gone to check on you (twas late) and basically fainted because•"uh? why is there a child"•at first he wasn’t really sure what was going on so he slowly went closer and realized, based off old photos he saw in your house once, that this was you•immediately ran off and got allura + coran•Keith, Pidge, and Coran would stay inside until you awoke while the other searched far and wide for anything to cure you•when you woke up you fell right onto Pidge who SCREAMED and almost threw you•you screamed as well, and Keith “Motherly Instincts” Kogane, picked you up and held you on his hip the whole time until the others came back•eventually they explained that they’d need to kidnap someone•Pidge had no problem because it could help you and they could ask the Galran if they know anything about her bro/dad•keith was ecstatic because I doubt you’d want to stay 6 years old•was the one to threaten the Galran enough to scare the absolute crap out of them•luckily, although the Galran didn’t know much magic, they knew of someone who did. they searched and eventually found them•basically an old commander of druids who turned against the galra. Half Altean and once worked beside Haggar•they turned you back and Keith actually CRIED•teases you whenever he can tho bcos you are probably the most adorable child ever

—

[Pidge:]•Pidge was inventing something….to say the least•you weren’t the only one affected though•basically Pidge said they’d be right back, and to both you AND hunk, to NOT TOUCH ANYTHING•you did•it did not end well•hunk reached over and while the two of you chuckled, he poked it and you guys knocked out•Shiro had, walked in right as it happened, was affected as well•a large burst of magic sent you all flying•Hunk was a 1 year old, you were 6, and Shiro was 16 years old•Shiro immediately woke up and grabbed the both of you, running off•the age change you all went through had changed your appearances. Hunk had short curly black hair, your hair was…whatever haircut you had at the time•you had fjjfkfkdk CHALK DYE in your hair•Shiro had like, 4 piercings on each ear•Lance was terrified•Shiro burst into the kitchen where everyone was catching up and didn’t even have to say anything•just stood there with you on his hip and Hunk held against chest like “what happened”•pidge came in “WHA THE FJUCKDK”•turns out, whatever that new ore Pidge had found was NOT meant to be doused with Quintessence •laughed at Hunk and Shiro but cried when they saw you•held you the whole time and actually sobbed because,,, oh my gosh bb.,,,why•you were the last one to turn back, and Pidge was glad because now they could slap Hunk•once you turned back Pidge hugged your knees the entire time•"forgive me please I’ll literally do anything I’ll eat fire please I love you"•you remembered everything, unlike Hunk who had shart himself a couple times•made fun of Shiro strange 16 year old phase and laughed so hard your stomach hurt, Pidge joined in •promised to you they would never use anything new+unknown unless they know EVERYTHING about it /it’s history•that promise was broken when it happened again•that time you turned 29

[justinjohn]

10 real-life photos: Women’s March: Chicago edition

I just got back from the Women’s March, Chicago contingent, and I have some cool pictures to share with you. 

First and foremost, I couldn’t 1) hold a sign, 2) drink my coffee, and 3) take pictures, so I just wore a shirt that I actually independently purchased a year ago that features what appears to be an abstract rainbow on it, which is really an aerial shot of tulip fields in Holland, but you get the point. It’s just the gayest thing on the planet, and I was super self-conscious because people were looking at me and even taking pictures, which was both unintentional and unexpected, and so I just wanted to shove myself down a street sewer for a minute. And then I saw this girl and I shut the fuck up:

She is wearing a homemade vagina over her head. And loving it. Like, she assembled that at home with wiring and fabric and there’s even a pearl in the clitoris for panache. I love this shot because we’re actually looking at each other as sort of pastiches of our cause and it was just a moment of shameless celebration in each other. She’s amazing.

2. Respect your mother

I stopped people during the march when I loved their signs. I am a huge environmental advocate, and when I saw this girl walk by, I flagged her down and asked her for her picture. Her dumb friend kept trying to get in it before realizing I didn’t want her, and I think I got lucky with this one:

I signed a petition in support of the EPA, and I am going to be launching a project to help the environment, which is fashion-related, so stay tuned. It’s the least I can do in my unemployment, you know, as the world crumbles around us and the environment dies. The women’s march today was nice because no matter what you were protesting, the crowd was embracing of the cause. At one point in the march, a woman in the crowd called out, “Have a great, global-warming day!” And everyone laughed. Because it’s still funny, until polar bears are extinct and the laughter turns to tears and I kill myself.

3. Pregnant pussy power:

At first I tried to just snag a photo of this sign because it was outlined in glitter and said ‘pussy power’ in pink bubblegum letters, which I loved, and then I realized that not only was the girl holding it beautiful, but she was sporting a brilliant face tattoo, and a FUCKING BABY, strapped to her chest.  Way to get out there with a newborn and make a sign with glitter on it. I couldn’t even wash my hair this morning, much less be bothered to make a painted sign. Jesus. 

4. rEVOLution:

I suppose I am actually that dumb to never have realized that the word “revolution” contains the word ‘love’ spelled backwards. I guess I’m new at this whole ‘protesting’ thing, or just am not that clever. Anyway, I just loved it and how effectively the one-worded sign was displayed, so cleanly but powerfully. I mean, it looks like it’s fucking photoshopped into her hand for Christ sake. Loved it.

5. fat baby Trump and leather daddy Pence

Clearly whoever made these is a genius and deserves some sort of ‘protest advertisement’ grammy, or whatever the awards show is for this. I mean, they went through the trouble of drawing in a goddamn shirt collar and tie over the leather harness on the Pence cut-out. That was definitely going the extra mile. And that expression on Pence’s face-- it makes me uneasy, like I accidentally logged into his webcam channel. It’s just really a spot-on design. Couldn’t have done a better job myself.. with the sign that I didn’t make. 

6. Painting nails 

This is my favorite emoji and I use it constantly either as depicted here or as a black woman because I like the contrast of the pink nails on the darker skin. I just think this sign abstractly gets a lot across: the trump hair (just on its own) and the nails.. I just ‘get’ this protester. Also because judging by those glasses, I think he’s probably also a lady. Which, by the way, was the other problem with my goddamn sweatshirt.. I felt like a human version of one of those electric, hanging mosquito traps. All the gays were like, “Ooh, look at this little rainbow.” And, just like the sign, I was like, “I don’t think so.” Leave it to the gays to use a women’s march to cruise for men. 

7. Now the real winners of the march today were the children. They were the ones that truly made this moment in history not only monumental but filled with hope. And I am about to show you why:

I just fell in love with this little girl holding this sign “NASTY woman in training.” Go get ‘em. Stand up for yourself, be strong. I am glad mommy is teaching you that you are a strong person who can accomplish anything regardless of gender and that studies show that you probably have a 2% higher IQ, on average, than your fellow counterpart, so you’re already a step ahead. Don’t ruin that with drugs or alcohol, okay honey?  

And then we have  this little gem, #8:

Nevermind the homeless man in the background who is looking into the camera like, “What the fuck you doing?” What? I am taking a picture of a child with a picket, motherfucker, leave me alone.  Just kidding-- I didn’t even notice that until after, but it’s actually kind of hilarious, no? 

Anyway, could this girl not be more adorable? 1. She matches her sign. 2. That hat. 3. It’s so sunny she can’t keep her eyes open. 4. she drew small hearts in the ‘A’ of “am” and the ‘r’ of “Future” because she's so stinking cute. And 5. She’s actually 100% right. She is the future and I am so glad she’s out there realizing that we don’t judge people by their gender or color of skin or sexual orientation. Now, scamper off you little periwinkle dream.

9. Wait till I can vote. 

Maybe I am a sucker for kids that match their signs (I am now discovering), but lord Jesus what an adorable little girl with such a positive message for all of us. I like she she still struggles making a lower-case ‘a’ and I just think it’s important for people in this world to know that you are watching, listening, and learning,and you too, even at age 9, can distinguish good from sniveling, wispy haired garbage fire. Great job today, kiddo. A+.

10. Stronger Together.

 I loved this photo because of all of the little tykes strung to the light post sticking out their cute signs together, but I am just looking at this to see that little child is wearing a shirt that reads, “everyone loves a brave girl” (with a temperature-sensible sweater over it in case it gets cold), which just makes me want to cry because I can’t find another emotion to express how cute I think that is. I just want to eat her up, and her facial expression is just too adorable for words, so I’m just going to move on.

to a bonus: #11. A drive-by:

I mean, it doesn’t get better than displaying a sign out of your sun roof because you’re stuck in the car. If you look at their faces, they’re laughing and having a good time because, I mean, why not?, who said you can’t protest on wheels?

Far be it from me, Mr. Rainbow.

Overall, today was a powerful day for of all of those who felt voiceless, who watched the inauguration yesterday in abject horror, whose stomaches welled up with terror, as mine did, who feared the worst. Today demonstrated that we are braver, stronger than we ever imagined, and that we won’t take this, and we will march to prove it. It’s a long road and one mired with disappointment and certainly a lot of adversity but together, we will prevail. Hope does exist. 

According to the LA times, nearly 2.5 million people galvanized today in various cities throughout the United States and the rest of the globe to protest Donald Trump and his possible legislation that would marginalize women, minority groups, and LGBTQAI constituencies.

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Justinthecity

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