#i also hc he has hallucinations and possibly bulimia?? idk

[smol-grey-tea]

Last night I dreamt about making this post about Tei so I just had to start writing it.

In the dream I was talking about how Tei's character is an interesting one with wasted potential. I don't know if I'd go as far as to call it that in real life though because I don't think this was the point of his story but it would've been nice to have seen it hinted.

It was about Tei's OCD. It was much more pronounced in my dream but it's still true that Tei having OCD is a headcanon I've had for him for a very long time. I'm going to be talking about mental health/mental illness in this post as well as some disturbing stuff so watch out for that-

OCD is like the brain's way of trying to feel a sense of control over things that are not actually in your control. Think of superstitions like "step on a crack, break your mother's back" but taken more to an extreme and taken more seriously: "turn the lights on and off 10 times or your family will die in a car crash".

I think that an illness like this would make sense for dolls turned human, since they've spent so long being unable to move or do anything, but especially for Tei, in the way that his trauma is more related to the fact he didn't do something he wished he could, plus the whole obsession of cleanliness that began even way before the actual traumatic event.

In the dream I also talked about compulsions of his. I thought he would definitely have compulsions surrounding his knee, probably obsessively picking at the scar, touching it all the time, scratching it, making it worse.

Another compulsion I'm sure he'd have is mental compulsions, even before he became human. Mostly just cuz of the fact that that's the way his OCD would manifest as a doll and he'd of course carry that into his human life too.

Thirdly I believe he'd try and live his life under strict routine. If he deviates from it it's incredible bad luck and he'd probably double up on his compulsions to fix that bad luck. Of course, he feels constantly dirty and disgusting so I think it makes sense that he'd have so many compulsions surrounding cleanliness, probably showering as much as twice a day and scrubbing so hard he rubs his skin red raw.

I myself don't have proper OCD but I guess I have a kind of smaller version of it? I don't have obsessions or fears like that but I do for example have mental compulsions like drawing a shape in my head and I used to have a compulsion where I'd lock bathroom doors multiple times. That one's still kinda there but I don't do it as often now.

As for Tei's obsessions/fears I acknowledge that his wanting to hurt Eri is less of an obsession and more of an actual desire? Usual OCD obsessions are fears that you might do something, not an actual desire to. I'm not sure then whether that truly counts as an obsession for him then but I'd say he'd probably more obsess on other people hurting her and such.

I think that's all? I don't think he'd tell anyone else about it but I do hope that in the good end Eri persuades him to seek professional help and get better about it :) cuz I have finally and I'm feeling better and better every single day!!! ^^