#i also have community and friendships that i don't think i would've found anywhere else

[hegodamask]

Doing tumblr stats when you've had the same blog since 2011 is a real eye opener into how active this site used to be 10+ years ago.

I know my blog isn't representitive for the whole of tumbr, but look at the number of notes I was getting 2012-2017 compared to...now lol. The massive uptake in 2015 is down to The Force Awakens releasing that year and hype being at an all time high. My most popular post on this blog ever is a screenshot of John Boyega's tweets. I was running a Star Wars sideblog at the time which shot up with even more followers and notes than this. Really shows you how active the fandom was on here back then.

And despite consistently using tumblr for 14 years, the number of original posts I've made myself has gone down a lot. In 2012, I made 2513 original posts, in 2024 as of right now I've made 159. That's the lowest number in my whole 14 years of being on here 😐

Some of this is down to me personally (I'm 14 years older, life gets in the way, my relationship with Star Wars has changed etc.) But we also can't deny the lack of activity on here, plus people (myself included 😔) becoming more passive consumers on social media is a major factor too.

It's far from perfect, but I still love tumblr so much. I have friends on here going way back to 2012 and I'm still making friends on here in 2024! Plus, it's still a huge creative and fandom outlet for me. In a year where every other social media site felt like it was draining the life out of me, I'd really hate to lose the one platform I still genuinely enjoy being on. I really hope tumblr as we know it can weather the storm of whatever the internet will become by the end of this decade, but idk if it will.

Originally, I joined tumblr as a new years resolution. Perhaps my resolution this year should be to put more effort into being active on social media in a positive way. To push myself to make things I enjoy and actively celebrate the things others create too. Even if tumblr doesn't last the next 10+ years, maybe that attitude is the only way to stay happy and sane online these days.

[btskismet]

Kismet (Chapter 18): A BTS Jin Imagines Fanfic

First ever fanfic. Contains some fluff and smut. Please read sequentially as it is a long story arc. Please provide feedback! My IG is btskismet.

November 7, 1944

Jun-seok was staring at a short Japanese man with a funny mustache. It was as if this man was trying to copy Adolf Hitler's tiny mustache. However, his mustache didn't seem to grow as well as Hitler's so it was half the length of the German dictator's, which made it look slightly skewed.

He expected for the Shosa (Major) to look a little more... refined. After all, he was the highest ranking officer in this district so far. He overheard that General Isumi was traveling to the capital of the country but would be back soon. So, Shosa Kimori would be calling the shots in this district for sure.

The man was smoking a tabacco as he was sitting inside what used to be a meeting room in the government building. He was looking at several papers placed on top of the table beside him.

He saw that he was looking at the military application form he filled out when he applied to be part of the Japanese Army. As the man looked at each page intently, Jun-seok shifted his weight while standing, anxiously waiting for what he had to say.

"So you know how to speak both Japanese and Korean, eh?", the man asked.

"Hai, Shosa Kimori", Jun-seok answered with a loud voice.

"Oh, I'm not Shosa Kimori. I'm Tai-i (Captain) Yuzawa. The Shosa couldn't meet you today. He went to the next town."

Jun-seok bowed really low and expressed his apologies. He felt stupid and for sure, he would be getting a beating. What a horrible mistake.

"It's alright. Stand up. I have another question for you.". Captain Yuzawa said, motioning Jun-seok to stand up straight.

"Do you know how to speak English?", the Captain asked, looking up to Jun-seok with one of his eyebrows raised.

Jun-seok hesitated. He thought he might need to lie because he might be sent to the enemy lines if he said he didn't speak it well enough, especially after what he said earlier. Would it matter if he didn't?

Before he was about to respond, the Captain raised his right hand and waved it slightly in front of his face. He was letting Jun-seok know that he didn't need to answer. "If you don't know, it's fine. The Mayor has someone in his family who can speak Japanese. It's important that you can speak both Japanese and Korean. Not all the locals speak very good English either."

Captain Yuzawa sets aside the papers and stands up to look out the window. He smoothens the creases on his pants. Jun-seok can tell that this man was stern and very detail-driven - his office was impeccably clean and all items on his desk, though minimal, were placed in a very purposeful way. Nothing was out of place.

When he faced Jun-seok, he started to speak in a very firm voice and said, "First of all, I don't agree having you here, Ittohei (first class private) Sakurai. We are having problems with some of the platoons here so if you do the job Shosa Kimori wants you to do, I think it will cause more trouble."

The Captain came up close to Jun-seok, peering into his eyes as they were of the same height. "Do you think you can speak to your fellow stubborn-minded Koreans to stop killing the populace?"

Jun-seok was flabbergasted in so many levels with the Captain's question. Yes, he heard the blatant insult to his race but what perplexed him was the fact that they were killing people and he was challenged to stop them.

"I will do my very best, Captain.", Jun-seok said as firmly as he possibly could. He knew he wasn't as confident as he would've liked, especially in front of this man who has profound disdain of his presence.

"Tch.", the Captain muttered and sat back down. "Dozo", he said and offered the seat across his table for Jun-seok to sit on. "I have a lot to share regarding your orders. Sit."

They spoke for almost an hour about what Jun-seok was ordered to do. It involved him knowing all the Korean platoon leaders and soldiers in the camp.

Lieutenant Akagi aka Gang Cheol was the one the army had most trouble with. Since he was the only commanding officer in certain remote areas of the district, he was the one who gave orders of having several locals killed on the spot. He also executed them as well. Though he was diligent in following orders from up top, if he was the lone officer with his platoon, he would exercise brutality in the most horrid way. 

“Lieutenant Akagi's platoon is fiercely loyal to him because they are all Koreans. But a few follow him because they are afraid to be beaten up.”, the Captain said with a bit of displeasure. Jun-seok thought that the Captain probably had several issues with Lt. Akagi in the past. After all, the lieutenant reported to him. He must’ve been reprimanded before in not being able to keep Lt. Akagi in line, he thought.

"We are stern and brutal if we need to be, especially to set examples to the locals. But if we just randomly kill them, then it doesn't serve our purpose here. Plus the Shosa is friends with the Mayor and he needs to have the coffee fields removed so we can build the tarmac. But he can't just order them to be done or else he destroys the friendship he has with the Mayor."

"Why is the Shosa friends with the Mayor of the town?", Jun-seok asked.

"Wouldn't you be if the man saved your life?"

The Shosa was in camp the first few days he arrived to the country and then rebel forces infiltrated it. A bullet struck the Shosa's abdomen and was bleeding heavily. The Mayor was on his way to the camp since he was summoned minutes before the fighting broke out and to take cover, he went inside the tent where the Shosa was at. He saw him and instead of running away, he dragged him to a nearby jeep and drove to the town hospital and had him treated. If he didn't do that, the Shosa would've died.

"Since then, Shosa Kimori wants to respect the Mayor and his community's needs to keep the town's resources running and for them to keep supporting us. Akagi and his platoon's antics are ruining those chances."

Jun-seok assessed how dangerous this was going to be. He knew that he would have extreme difficulty dealing with Akagi-san if he found out that Jun-seok is really Kim Man-seok's son. He had to make sure they thought of him as purely Japanese. But he won't be able to communicate with them if that's the case; they would shut him out.

"Captain, none of them must ever know that I am Kim Man-seok's son." Jun-seok said hurriedly. "Or else I'll never get close to them."

The Captain nodded in agreement. “Yes, you would have that difficulty. We have to make sure they don’t know. Did your face appear in any of the photos in the newspaper?”

Jun-seok tried hard to remember. He knew it was only photos of his father and brother that appeared in the papers. Since he was younger then, his mother made sure that he was not exposed to the media as his father and brother were recovering in the hospital.

“No. I’m sure of it”, he replied to the Captain.

“Alright then. You are to mingle with the rest of the platoon and make sure to get the others soldiers to change their mind about Akagi so they will follow him less. If Akagi sees that his soldiers are not as loyal to him, he would be less confident and then we can easily move him out of the platoon. If we did that now, his platoon will rebel against the higher officers and we will never get anywhere. Knowing them, they would kill everyone on sight. And I don’t want to lose soldiers anymore by executing them. We still have the rebel factions to deal with and I have less troops as it is.”   

Jun-seok nodded and understood his orders. He also surmised that he had to be crafty to make this work. His life depended on it too. Looking at Captain Yuzawa, he wasn’t one who would accept failure. He wouldn’t hesitate to execute Jun-seok if he failed.

“Before we assign you to the barracks to meet the platoon, you will have to report to the Jun-i (Warrant Officer) Watanabe. He handles our military equipment and you’ll be reporting to him. He is aware of your ‘other’ mission and agreed to help you.”

Jun-seok’s face lit up as soon as the Captain mentioned about the warrant officer and the latter noticed. “Yes, you are getting what you wanted, private. We are not going to let your skills go to waste. After all, you are going to work to get that tarmac built - it’s only fitting you get to work with actual aircraft.”

“Yes, sir! You can count on me, sir!”, Jun-seok said, beaming because of this news.

“You are dismissed.” 

Jun-seok stepped out of the office and was given information by the other private outside. He had to pick up supplies from the local market and meet the warrant officer there.

He couldn’t contain his happiness with the news. Finally! I’ll be able to do what I really wanted to do.

Jun-seok was pleased and he did a bit of a skip as he was walking to the market. He was smiling to himself, thinking of what it would be like to get close to an actual fighter plane. “I hope I can work on a Zero* or even the new Hayate**! That would be so cool!”, he thought with a huge smile. 

He was jostled from his thoughts of fighter planes when he reached the market. It was a busy area that morning and he was surprised that a lot of the locals were there and it was pretty noisy. He noticed that the locals didn’t seem to be too scared of the soldiers here as they were also quietly mingling with them, buying produce and food. The locals were selling their wares of vegetables, fruits, rice and fish. The smell of coffee was pretty strong as there were stalls brewing coffee and selling coffee beans. 

He came upon one stall and looked at the beans being sold. They were of good quality and they smelled wonderful. A young man talked to him in broken Japanese, asking if he wanted some. He said yes and he was given a small bag of ground coffee. When he was about to pay, the man decline. “Muryo de (free of charge)! Ok?”, the man said.

He bowed and thanked the man. As he walked away, he put the bag near his nose. The coffee smelled so good and this made Jun-seok smile. But he stopped in his tracks when he was in front of the sundries store where he was to meet Warrant Officer Watanabe.

“There she is again.”, he muttered. He was looking at the young woman he saw earlier who helped the man who was beaten up by the soldier. She was still wearing the same clothes and the nice 1940s hairstyle she had. She was smiling and talking with a Japanese officer in a very respectful yet comfortable way. he could see that the officer was smiling and acknowledging her, pleased that they were conversing.

She was bowing slightly for every comment the officer gave and though she moved respectfully, he could see that she was comfortable in her own skin. Like she was not about to be bossed around. She was very confident, even though she was acting gracefully and respectfully towards the superior officer. 

“She really is beautiful.I wonder who she is.”, he thought, observing her intently.

He started walking towards her and the officer but as he was about to approach them, she started saying goodbye to the officer.

“Gokigen'yō, Jun-i! Atode mata hanashimashou!” (Have a nice day, Officer. Talk to you later!), the lady said to the officer and waved. She didn’t look where she was going and bumped into him, which startled her. 

“Ah, gomen nasai, Yakuin (I’m sorry, officer)!”, she said loudly and bowed her head low.

Jun-seok gave a short chuckle as soon as she bowed, finding her quick change of disposition amusing. Because of this, it made her look up quizzically.

“Daijobu desu (It’s fine).”, he said softly. This made her stand up straight and bowed slight before walking away quickly. 

He looked back as she walked away, quite curious about this beautiful woman who was sparky and exciting underneath the surface. And to his surprise again, she looked back at him with that intense stare before walking away.

“I will meet you again.”, he declared in his mind before his attention was called by someone.   

 - - - to be continued - - -

*Mitsubishi A6M fighter plane - used by the Japanese army from 1940 to 1945

**Nakajima Ki-84 - a well-known Japanese fighter plane introduced in WW II in November 1944

[sirro85-blog]

Dark Horses 5

Kovac hoved into view, his face caked in congealed with blood, his eyes bright through the grime, his mouth split into a grin.

"Do you feel the joy of it? The everliving fucking joy," his voice was animated and loud, "I tell you now, you'll never feel as alive as you do right now!"

Kovac looked around, his movements feral, "I love this job," another mad grin, "you'll never feel alive again!"

Costa jerked awake and looked around, he was slumped in a chair, around him soldiers worked. Staff Sergeant Frank King was binding Butlanska's wounds.

"You doing ok trooper?" Asked a voice.

Costa looked up feeling dazed, "uh, yes ma'am," he responded.

"Very good trooper, come with me," said the Quartermaster.

Something sparked in Costa's numb brain, "you called me trooper, ma'am."

"I did, would you rather I change?" Came the response.

"No, no trooper is good, ma'am" Costa said stumbling after the large woman, he'd never enjoyed being called "Cherub"

Ten minutes later Costa was sat at a table tucking into a plate of food, he had clean clothes and had enjoyed a brief shower, now the Quartermaster had produced cottage pie and vimto seemingly by magic and he was filling up on his favourite meal. The Quartemaster stood nearby, he could tell she wasn't watching him.

Captain Dorman and Sergeant Webb approached, they both stopped a distance off as the Qm's baleful glare turned to them, "evening Qm, I wanted a chat with Trooper Costa, debrief him after his escapades with the Major."

"Later."

"I was rather, er hoping, he's in our command...welfare," the Captain trailed off.

"I've got him right now, Major told me, you can talk later Hero, take Plank and get about your day," spoke the Qm.

Costa, feeling more alert and less dazed appreciated the peace, he respected his Troop commander and his sergeant but this period of calm made him feel whole again, he watched the two men walk away. He felt even better when Ty was brought across to sit with him.

"Here you go Mouth," said the Qm handing a bottle of iced tea to Ty, it was his favourite brand.

His meal finished Costa felt renewed, The Qm gave him a nod and walked away. A minute or so later Major Kovac appeared and patted Ty on his uninjured arm.

"Damn good to see you in one piece trooper," Costa here went through the ringer keeping you alive, would've been a damn shame to waste that effort," he turned to Costa, "Costa, tell Sergeant Webb I said you can carry that kukri anywhere you want." The Major nodded to them both and walked off. Ty placed his hand over Costa's and they sat in silence for a while.

"Cherub, Mouth stop lazing about holding hands and piss off back to work the pair of you," yelled the Qm and the two troopers ran for it.

The Dark Horses fortified their positions and scouts were sent out to check the secondary Bartuq positions.

Barbie stopped running and lay down on the floor, "It's too much, it's too damn wet, this isn't air this is soup!"

Becca turned back and jogged over to her, "struggling Baps?"

"Fuck your skinny ass Becca, this is too damn hot. Its a jungle, its like 1000% humidity," gasped Panther dropping to her knees beside the prone Barbie.

"Come on, it's not so bad, we round this headland and comeback down by the river, one of the rivers, we'll make it about 12k back to base." Becca said jogging round her two friends.

Knickers slowed to a stop and bent at the waist, gasping for breath, "If we, kill her here, we can, dump the body, in the river, and claim, she went on, ahead."

"Oh come on, it's not all that bad we're over 2/3 done. Only a little more suffering left," Becca encouraged.

"Listen bitch," Barbie said rolling onto her knees, "you think just because you like pain the rest of us want this?"

"I don't like pain?"

"Really!? Hurt-me-Daddy-Becca doesn't like pain? Choke-me-Daddy-Becca isn't enjoying being short of breath?" Scoffed Panther.

Becca stopped jogging on the spot, "I don't call Kovac Daddy."

"No? What do you call him? Master?" Panther hooted, "Major!!?"

"Oh Major, yes sir, I'll do anything you order Major, do you salute?"

Becca pouted and rounded on Panther, "what about you? Do you call Wolf sir while on your knees?"

Panther gave a peal of laugher, "fuck off, he calls me a goddess before we even start, he only outranks me out here, we all know Kovac is the big dog everywhere."

"Speaking of the big-dog, has the Major made a decision about this second position we need to capture?" Asked Barbie looking from her troop commander to her Sergeant.

"Nothing yet, but you can trust the Major will have a plan," answered Knickers.

Barbie nodded accepting this fact and gestured to the path, "shall we get this over with?" They started to jog down the track.

Kovac was sitting with Wolf in his office, "the plan has to be simple Wolf, there is no magic trick to this, we breech and we force them south onto the savannah and any survivors get mopped up by Towoli security forces at a later date, once the second defensive structure is captured they're finished as a power," Kovac spread his hands.

Wolf nodded, "look, overall it's a good plan but the idea of this being a rapid breech entry job, it's a bit...old fashioned."

"RBE is a classic because it works, long and short of it is, we need to get in and we need to do it fast, Dorman will breech, Becca will push in and you will sweep. I'll have Gilly set up the gunners to drive any escaping frogs south." Kovac stood, "once the Qm has the ordinance redistributed we'll give orders."

The Dark Horses were a unique force in the galaxy, taken wholesale from a regiment that had taken heavy losses they had all been trained to the same standard and even for human military were considered highly trained. I found during my time with these humans that I took their training for granted, these were not the human standard, these were the heights humanity could reach in this area. Twinned with this complacency was an amazement that humans could train, could learn a skill and develop it to a level of brilliance even to other humans. Most races known were born to their specific tasks in society.

Of course all species could develop or enhance a skill but none could break a typecast like humans could.

When the Dark Horses attacked the Bartuq defence, I realised I was watching military unit that had been working together and been led by the same officers for over a decade.

It looked like the fluid parts of a machine, 3 troop stole forwards in the gloom and placed their charges, they breached the outer perimeter and Becca led 2 troop forward, flooding the breach and securing a position. Fortified by Dorman's 3 Troop Becca pushed on and Wolf came behind to support them. Within the hour the Bartuq compound was captured.

I joined Becca and Kovac on the ridge watching the Bartuq stream out into the grasslands, their numbers greatly diminished.

"Tough bit of work that," Becca muttered.

"Butchers bill mercifully short," replied Kovac.

"Won't have to listen to Grey's guitar practice for a while," Becca said.

"Aye, hopefully Frank won't be able to save all his function in that arm."

This is a human habit, making cruel comments to alleviate a situation, they call it humour, or friendship.

Armoured vehicles poured out of a group of hills attacking the Bartuq.

"Oh fuck, what's this fart-waffle?" Asked Gilly as he joined the two officers.

Kovac cursed softly, "It's the Earth Defence Corps."

"What are the EDC doing? What are they doing here? Fucking cowboys," Becca asked.

"Forget that, that's, what? Three squadrons? Of bloody interceptor class Chimera armoured light cav, that means they must have deployed at batallion level, so they have at least a regiment of support infantry, two? They must have more armour and combat support arms to support that too...they've either deployed a goddamn Brigade of troops to this rock or they're even more incompetent than I give credit." Kovac said, his voice stunned.

"So the cannon fodder have come in strength, what else is new? If they didn't deploy a brigade to do a platoon's job they wouldn't be able to lose as many men as they like to do," Becca said shrugging.

"No, they've deployed a brigade of human troops on the border of Xhost held territory!" Kovac said, turning around and looking at the sky, "you can't do that quietly."

"Kov, does it matter? I mean..." Gilly was turning to Kovac but cut off as the Major turned and ran down the slope.

I've seen human panic and fear, I've also seen humans overcome that fear and direct it. This seemed to be what Kovac was doing

The Major was using his communicator, "all units return to the FOB, immediate withdrawal."

Gilly turned to Becca and gave a questioning gesture after Kovac, but Becca wasn't looking. She was staring at the sky.

Half a dozen Xhost warbirds were dropping in from low orbit, they dropped low over the EDC and began firing into the Chimera squadrons.

Becca had turned and streaked away, Gilly opened his communicator up and started calling instructions to Griffin Battery.

A dreadnought class Xhost ship broke atmospher and I looked up on time to see a cloudburst, a dark, stinking rain fell across the savannah and onto the foliage the Dark Horses were retreating into, I felt it hit my exterior and it burned, I slowed and as more drops hit I blacked out.

I could hear voices, human voices.

"You both look ridiculous," laughed a familiar voice.

"Good to see you weren't caught in it."

"Listen, the implication that I had found somewhere to take a nap is a vicious rumour spread by my political enemies," that voice again.

"So you avoided it and Kovac avoided it but the rest of us got soaked, including the professor," said a third voice.

"Did it have any effect on you lot?"

"Made my eyes stream," said the second voice, a woman's.

The first voice, must be Wolf I realised, "lot of red eyes."

"Stinks and makes you cry, hardly a dangerous weapon," the third vice said.

"Killed the Bartuq survivors and a few drops overwhelmed the professor," said Gilly.

"So...what is it?" Asked Becca.

"Kovac says it's propenyl sulfenic acid, according to Petra."

"Sulfenic...onion juice!?"

"Basically," Wolf said apologetically.

"Explains why I'm craving hotdogs," said Gilly.

"So, what? They've used their bio-weapons and it gave me cravings, the Xhost aren't as tough as I remember them," Wolf said.

"Except, they've landed and formed a beachhead. Kovac has contacted the general for support...till then we're on our own, the onion juice devastated the Towoli numbers."

It should come as no shock that some of the galaxy's most potent biochemical weapons have been harnessed by humans for food, drink and recreation. Nicotinoid, cannabinoid, capsaicin ethanol and goitrin and thyocyanates. All accepted toxins in the human diet.