#i also have a mighty need to find someone to spitball ideas with

[pastelsouthernbelle]

my boyfriend introduced me to the yakuza series a month ago by forcing me to watch him play through y0.

i am now inconsolable and determinedly playing through kiwami 1, even though I'm horrible at playing video games and have the hand-eye coordination of a newborn.

majima is now one of my sons, and I am determined to see this series through so I can make sure he gets plenty of hugs and love and everything else. (I am also, against my will, an unabashedly shameless kazumaji shipper, and I just... i don't know what to do with that.)

this series single-handedly brought me back to fandom with all the grace of a fist to the face, and I'm just so, so happy to have found my new happy place in the form of old, emotionally constipated men who clearly need each other in ways they can't even hope to conceptualize.

anyway, idk. this post is nothing, but I felt like writing for some reason... so... i wrote this... and then I started writing snippets of a fanfic that'll likely never see the time of day

but, y'know what? it... this feels good. it feels correct. i feel like I was in hibernation for centuries, but my pretty bf decided it was high time for me to wake up from this dumb slumber I found myself in.

i've missed fandom; i've missed people; i've missed community. and even though it doesn't seem like the kazumaji fandom is super, super active, i'm just happy to have found people who feel super, super warm :')

[eliniei]

Those Hard Days - Chapter 9

Summary: Rae’s brother always made sure she was tough as nails. But when her father flips her world upside down, will she find that there’s a limit on how strong she can be?

Warnings: Rape/Non-con (non-graphic, fade-to-black), child abuse, underage drinking, underage smoking, drug use, violence, major character death

A/N: this is kind of a weird chapter? I dunno if it makes much sense, but you meet another key player in the story and it sets in motion a lot of the rest of the story so I didn’t want to get rid of it. As usual, I hope you love it!

AO3: here Fanfiction.net: here

Masterlist

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Chapter 9 - Note

When Rae came to, first thing she saw was the swirls of Steve's hair. He was sitting on the floor of the Curtis’s front room, leaning his back against the couch, watching some late-night show. Her eyes shifted to the clock, but the room was too dark, even with the light of the television.

She shifted, trying to sit up on one of her elbows. Steve must have felt her movement, because he was turned in an instant, forcing her to lay back down.

“Nuh uh- don’t move.”

“What happened?” she croaked, her throat dry. “How’d I end up here?” Pain flared in her head and she winced. She lifted her hand to feel her temple, but he grabbed her hand and laid it back across her stomach. Really, with as much abuse as her head has taken lately, she’d be surprised if there wasn’t some kinda damage.

“Don’t touch. What do you remember?”

“Not much.” She didn’t want to think. “Losin’ my cool earlier. Punchin’ a wall.”

“You ran off. We thought you just needed to let off some steam, but you never came back. Soda got ahold of Darry and he said we’d meet here after work and look around town.” She made to sit up again, the pounding in her head making her feel like she might hurl. “Please don’t sit up.”

"No. I'm alright." He didn’t look convinced, but he helped her into a sitting position. “And then?”

“We got here and Dally had found you. Someone had knocked you out cold, reopened the wound where your father had...Anyway, we got you cleaned up and here we are.”

“Dally was here?”

“Oh yeah, still is. We made ‘im take a break and sleep in Soda’s old room.”

“And what time is it?” Steve turned and squinted to see the clock.

“‘Round two in the mornin’.” He yawned.

“Don’t you got work?”

“It’s okay, you’re worth it.” Rae felt a warmth spread through her body that she hadn’t felt in a long while. She also felt an overwhelming need to hug him.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” she said, her voice muffled against his neck.

"None of that, kid," he said, wrapping his arms around her back. "You asked me to stop and I didn’t. I shouldn’t have pushed ya.” He released her and took on an air of authority. “Now, go back to sleep." She obeyed her friend and fell back onto the couch.

When Rae woke again, daylight had started streaming in through the windows and Steve was gone. Slowly, she sat up. The throbbing in her head was still there- but it was reduced to a dull roar. Dally walked in from the kitchen without a shirt, holding a steaming mug and still looking drowsy. When he saw his sister, he seemed to snap awake, instantly.

“Hey kid,” he greeted her. She made a repulsed face.

“Put a shirt on, man. No one wants to see that.” He smirked, set the mug down on the coffee table and knelt in front of her.

“Nice to see your sense of humour ain’t gone. Let me see.” He motioned towards her head. She obediently turned around and could feel his hands in her hair. It made a chill run up her back. “Looks okay now. It was bleedin’ like hell yesterday.” When Dally was finished, she turned back around to face him. He tugged on the pink lump still stuck in her hair. “How’d you manage this?”

“Some Soc gettin’ back at me for the spitballs,” she answered him as he picked up his coffee again and sat down next to her.

“Never gets old, does it?”

“I’ll get ‘em back good soon. So, where’d you find me?”

“You were near Shepard territory, actually, in that little middle class area,” he started. “Tim an’ I were out drinkin’ and liftin’ some ‘caps when we found you sittin’ against the wall in an alley. You were barely awake, and said your head hurt.” Rae narrowed her eyes, thinking back to the day before. She couldn’t recall any of it.

“I don’t remember ever goin’ out to that part of town yesterday. Maybe I was headed to see Curly?” Dally shrugged and took a long drink.

“No idea. We loaded ya into Tim’s truck and brought ya here. You sure were bloodied up real good. Looks like whoever did it tried breakin’ your nose but they didn’t hit ya hard enough. They probably heard us comin’ and scrammed. You always did have a mighty hard head. Sure do look like hell, though.”  She sighed through her nose.

“Gee, thanks. Can’t we go one day without anythin’ happenin’?” Rae complained. He leaned back and stretched his arm out behind her.

“Nah, then it’d be too boring.” She shrugged, took the mug from his hand, and took a large swallow. The liquid was hot and seared her throat on the way down. Once she’d handed it back, she leaned into his side.

“I should probably get a shower.” Neither of them moved. They both watched as Darry walked into the kitchen, seemingly unaware that they were sitting on his couch. He made a few sounds as he prepared to make his brothers breakfast, but came out holding the mostly-full glass carafe. He looked at them, confused.

“Dally, did you make coffee?” he asked, bewildered. The three of them looked at each other for a few seconds and broke out into soft laughter.

After breakfast, Rae sat on the edge of the bathtub while Soda helped her wash the blood and gum out of her hair. His hands were gentle on her head and she closed her eyes, relishing the feeling.

“What happened to Steve?” she asked as he massaged her scalp.

“Found him passed out in my bed when I went to my room to get some clothes. Dally must’ve switched places with ‘im. Alright, all done.” He handed her a towel and she went to work drying her hair. “I’d better go wake him up, anyway.” He stepped out of the bathroom so she could finish up.

She pulled a clean t-shirt over her head. It wasn’t her normal style, but it was either wear a shirt borrowed from Ponyboy or wear one with blood all down the front. Whatever- she could wear her jacket all day, anyway. When she looked in the mirror, her nose was an angry red, and there was a bruise coming in under her eyes. She caught herself staring at her face and her chest swelled. A little progress.

Rae put her hair up so it wouldn't sway around and aggravate the wound on the back of her head and left the bathroom. Ponyboy was standing in the front room, trying to dust off her jacket. He handed it to her and she examined it. There was dirt all over it, and the collar had a bit of dried blood stained on it. Nothing they could do about it now. She slipped it on, hand catching on the fraying cuffs, and left for school with a quick wave to her brother.

Two-Bit met them in the hall and handed over her backpack.

“Glad to see you’re feeling better,” he observed, elbowing her softly. “You still look like hell, though.” She rolled her eyes.

“You an’ Dally sure know how to compliment a girl.” A balled up piece of paper hit her right on the forehead. She looked up towards the person who threw it.

"That dirt looks good on you, grease," a Soc boy laughed, trying to provoke her. She frowned, but didn’t rise to the occasion. Two-Bit shoved him along.

“Oh, get outta here,” her friend commanded. The kid went on his way, still snickering to his friends. From there, the trio started heading to their classes.

"So, do you remember who did it?" Ponyboy asked as the walked down the hallway

.

"No, I-," she started. "I don’t remember much. I thought I heard a girl’s voice but I really ain’t sure.”

"Man, I’da been scared to death if it’d happened to me," Ponyboy confessed.

"I didn’t really have the chance to be scared, I guess. Whoever it was made sure I was knocked out before they fuckin’ punched me in the nose. Coward.” Rae went to touch her swollen nose, but recoiled and hissed from the pain. She really regretted not popping a couple of Aspirins before she left this morning. “But, someone told me that I can’t let it drag me down, so I’m going to give it my all." Pony nodded, watching her out of the corner of his eye. She stopped outside an open door. "This is me. See ya’ll later." He and Two-Bit said their goodbyes to her and quickly went to find their own classrooms before the bell rang. She turned on her heels and walked into the room.

When she reached her seat, a small girl with dirty-blonde hair pulled back in a bun was sitting on her desk, facing away from her. With a playful smile, Rae dropped her bag on the floor under her desk and got up real close to the girl.

“I see you made it back alive,” she breathed, right into the girl’s ear. To her credit, the other girl didn’t jump, but a visible shiver went up her spine. She turned and a wide smile broke out onto her face.

“Rae!” She jumped up and excitedly wrapped her arms around her friend. Rae winced a little, but let it happen.

“How ya been, Carrie?”

“Oh, alright. Wasn’t much of a vacation, really, just a good ol’ visit to see the grandparents. Buck said it was gonna be borin’ and didn’t wanna be away from the bar and the rodeo for that long so it was- What happened to your nose?” She opened her mouth to answer but their teacher walked in the room. As they both sat down, Rae motioned with her pencil. Carried nodded.

As the teacher started class, Rae started passing notes to her friend. She’d started from the beginning, with everything Carrie had missed out on while she was gone. As the story went on, the notes from the girl in front of her came back angrier and angrier.

"Miss Winston?," the teacher drawled, three quarters of the way through class. She looked up from her note to find him standing at her desk. He held out his hand. "Give it to me." Rae looked around. Everyone was staring at her. She debated tearing the damn thing up, shoving it in her mouth- anything. He must have realized what she was thinking because he reached out and grabbed it before she could act. She cursed herself. The teacher read the note to himself, then looked down at her. "Out in the hall. Now," he ordered. She glared up at him, but left the room.

Rae leaned against the lockers on the other side of the hall and stuffed her hands in her back pockets, silently summoning the spirit of her brother to possess her. A few minutes later, her teacher came out, holding the note in one hand.

"Anything else you'd like to tell me?" he asked. She shrugged.

"Stay out of it," she said, nonchalantly, keeping her voice even.

"I'd say that I'm pretty involved, now," he said, holding up the note. "I’m going to have to tell the principal about this. The police will most likely be informed as well." She gave him her best tuff, wild Dally smile.

"Don't get involved," Rae repeated. "Or you’ll be sorry." She saw movement behind him and watched as Carrie snuck out the door and snatched the paper out of his hand. “Ain’t nothin’ to a hood, right?” Her friend handed it to her. She ripped the note up and put the pieces in the back pocket of her jeans to dispose of somewhere else. A few seconds later, the bell rang. Students started piling out of the room, dodging their dazed teacher. Rae gave him another dark smile as another greaser girl handed over her backpack.

“Thanks, Chrissy.”

“No prob,” she answered with a red-lipped smile. With a wave and a pop of the gum in her mouth, she headed for the cafeteria to find her boyfriend, large hoops swinging from her ears as she turned.

At lunch, Rae told the boys what happened.

"This is bad," Soda stated. “Can you see if you can get moved to another class?”

"If your teacher tells the fuzz, they could take you away," Steve noted, as if she didn’t already know. "They could take you far away."

"I know. I wasn’t thinkin’,” she groaned.

“Well, that’s obvious,” Steve said, flatly. Soda elbowed him. “What? It’s true.”

“You don’t need to be so blunt.”

“What, you think she wants to be babied?”

“Well, no, but-”

"I been thinkin’ of swiping some foster parent paperwork. Ya know, in case it happens. Mom would take you," Two-Bit announced, his mouth full of candy. At least, that’s what she thought he said.

"Don’t you think you should ask her first?” Rae wondered out loud, unable to help the giggle that came out of her mouth.

"Nah, it don’t matter. She wouldn’t say no to you."

"Anyway,” Soda interjected, serious written all over his face. “We'll talk to Darry and Dally when we get home," Soda said. “They’ll have some ideas.” Well, that sure wiped the smile right off her face.

“Dally’s gonna kill me,” Rae sighed.

“Better to get a good yellin’ than not tell ‘im and get taken away,” Steve concluded.

"Alright, alright," Two-bit said. "We gotta get going. Lunch is almost over."

Rae stared out the window of the passenger seat on the drive back. Johnny, sitting in the seat behind her, placed a hand on her shoulder.

“It’ll be fine. We’ll get it worked out, yeah?” She placed a hand on top of his and squeezed.

“Thanks, Johnny.” She appreciated the sentiment but she wasn’t sure she felt any better.