#i also desperately want to know how beard and michelle interact

[gubler-garbage]

Uncle Beard

[politelymenacing]

If they're not doing a reboot where they're married, and Henry gets to live happily in England with his two dads and go to a better school than he could go to Kansas???? then why are they showing us this?

APPLE TV EXPLAIN!!

Is that not what happened....?

Must've just been in my head, damn. 😛

OK. Here is my pitch to Apple to make it happen (because is just makes sense):

Why do the bit about Henry acting out and bullying a kid?

Why have Henry failing science (scandal!)?

To me, that should have nudged them in the direction of 'maybe he would be better at a new school in England?' rather than 'he'll be fine just as soon as Ted returns to Kansas'.

Then we have the whole Dr. Jacob of it all... they were clearly hinting at his and Michelle's relationship breaking down (thank god. I can't even go into how much that angered me). To me, that was freeing her of her ties to Kansas so she could move with Henry to England. But instead they just kind of maybe left it a bit ambiguous. Are we supposed to believe that Ted and Michelle would ever get back together? Because no.

Also, it was clear that Henry didn't really like him and would benefit from being closer to his Uncle Beard (ugh that bit outside of the pub with them two absolutely got me 😭)

There's also Dottie. Now, I will admit that that episode fucked me up a little (yay, mums...), so I have only rewatched it once, but if I were Ted her attempt at manipulation would have just made me want to get Henry away from her, so even more reason to bring him to England.

Now Ted:

He's doing better. Ok, not amazing, but he is getting regualr thearapy and he can control his panic attacks

He knows the offside rule. He (re)invents Total Football. He is finally understanding the sport he came over to coach.

He is starting to use British terminology for things! He's acclimatised! Honestly, if he'd been there any longer, he'd have been drinking tea.

They specifically show him interacting with his neighbours and the community.

And then you tear him away from all of that. It is beyond cruel.

Also, even though Sassy was not right for him at all, he was maybe starting to show that he could move on from Michelle and let someone else into his life. (I do not have enough time to lay out the Bi Ted agenda, I'm sure people have done excellent metas about it, but let's just say the Bi Triangles will haunt me forever.)

Which leads us to Trent.

I am definitely missing things because I'm just rattling this off the top of my head, but:

Are we just going to forget that Trent got fired for Ted? And then following his bliss lead him straight to Richmond to write a love letter book about Ted.

What was the whole thing about the right idea just sitting behind a couple of the wrong ones?? In the red string of fate episode, no less!

Whatever was going in during Girl Talk with Rebecca.

Why did Ted tell Henry that it was "good to have people in your life that are excited to be around you" literally the episode after Trent was SO EXCITED about Total Football and how Ted got them there. Like. Seriously.

TRENT’S LITTLE FINGER STICKING OUT IN THE RED STRING OF FATE BIT THAT WAS POINTING DIRECTLY TO THE RED STRIPES ON TED'S JACKET ahem.

Trenthouse magazine. TRENTHOUSE MAGAZINE.

The Robert Redford/Dustin Hoffman thing. Followed by a sodding wink.

And then there's the fact they are both middle aged single dads who have so much baggage. They get one another.

Finally. Because this is turning into a bloody essay. The ending. Ted was FOR SURE asleep and dreaming at the end. I don't give a fuck what Brendan said.

You can't get that close to Stonehenge, it all looked too fake, there's no way Ted wouldn't be there, Jane needs to get in the bin.

How did Sam manage to get into the Nigerian team? (Don't get me wrong, I desperately wanted that for him, but it seemed like it was never going to happen??)

Ted thinks Trent will agree to change the book's title, and even dreams up someone he knows (Shannon) to get a copy singed.

OH AND THE GLASSES. Trent has new glasses. Why? Because Ted doesn't want to imagine him with the ones from before because the first thing he said to Trent was a compliment about the glasses.

Basically, what I'm saying. Is that that is what makes most sense from the ending. HOWEVER, Apple TV, if you are convinced it was all real, here are some ways you can keep that ending (more or less) and still have the Romcommunism ending we deserved that will lead to you picking up this reboot idea:

Ted goes back, gets a final copy of The Richmond Way, the dedication says something about how Trent changed the title because he asked, but it was always about Ted, of course it was. Ted realises his huge mistake. (Maybe he goes to rush to the airport, only to find Trent standing outside his door.)

Trent didn't say goodbye to Ted because he was already on a flight to Kansas to wait for him with a sign that says 'Coach Lasso from England". (OK, this doesn't quite fit with the ending, but you know it's a cute AF idea so shhh)

Trent is singing copies of his book and asks who it's for without looking up and just here's Ted say his name.

In all these scenarios someone says "Is this a fucking joke?" END.

And now you are ready to start your spin off/reboot/series 4 with the footage of Jason and Jimmy at the Emmys. You're welcome.

You can have all of these ideas for free (plus whatever other headcanons you get out of me), Apple TV, if you let me play one of the minimal acting required background players in the AFC Richmond Women's team (Because that is a part of the finale i can get behind and I have credentials if you need to verify I can actually play)

[afangirlwashere]

Risk pt.1 (Peter Parker x superhero!reader)

Summary: (Y/N) starts attending the Midtown School of Science and Technology and her first day does not go so well. How does she deal with the aftermaths of Thanos?

A/N: Okay this is another attempt. The Bucky fanfic is kinda.. not.. doing.. well... But whatever! I had an idea so I put it into words! And it’s here! I just want you all to know that some things are changed a little. The timeline is a bit different! Here’s how: Peter, Ned and Michelle are still sophomores and this whole thing is kinda like - Homecoming happens - Thanos happens almost immediately. Just a little explanation for all of you.

Warnings: INFINITY WAR SPOILERS!!! a little sad (only at the beginning tho), and there’s like one part I’m a little insecure about but I think it’s fine  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

part 2  part 3  part 4

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Midtown School of Science and Technology.  Does it sound nice? Not at all. Is it necessary? According to Mr. Stark, it is. (Y/N) just helped saving half of the population and a few days after she has to start attending a new high school. No pressure right? 

New York is amazing though.  Mr. Stark got her an apartment in Queens not too far from Peter’s. He had his reasons to do so. She doesn’t know that yet though. 

(Y/N)’s interaction with Peter was short. She barely knew him.  But she very clearly remembered the fear in his face when she found him in that weird nothingness of... white. Surrounded in this color it looked like the boy was in heaven. 

How uncertain he was if this girl was really even there. If she wasn’t another one of his hallucinations. He was so alone it tortured him almost making him go bonkers. 

She remembered how hesitantly Peter approached her but once he was sure she’s real he threw himself onto her hugging her hips as tight as possible like a little kid that lost his mom in the shop and finally found her.

He was kneeling and embracing her so tightly she almost couldn’t breathe. 

“Don’t leave me here alone, please! Please don’t leave! I don’t want to be alone anymore, please, please...” his cries and sobs seemed to echo in the nothingness. 

Seeing him so desperate and terrified broke (Y/N)’s heart into million pieces. 

Remembering how she kneeled to him and hugged him as tightly as possible filled her with a tiny bit of hope. She’ll get him out of this miserable place. He was still crushing her hips and crying. 

It was only a week since Thanos snapped his ugly purple fingers but it seemed as if time passed differently here. There was nothing to do which must have been eating him alive. 

After a few more minutes of this (Y/N) finally managed to calm Peter down a bit and make him cooperate.  Frying his brain wasn’t particularly the best experience but it was the only way she knew how to bring him back among the living, bring him back to his aunt and Mr. Stark. 

She only saw Peter’s aunt once and it wasn’t the best first encounter. They didn’t interact and (Y/N) was pretty sure the woman didn’t even know she was there.  Mr. Stark on the other hand... He told her about Peter. It hurt him but he still did it. And he was the reason number one when it came to deciding who she’ll try to bring back first.

Hearing him scream in agony was another war sound that’s going to hunt her in her dreams. 

He woke up lying flat on the ground and (Y/N) was leaning over him.

“Hi.” she smiled.

“Are you an angel?” he exhaled with amazement.

That was their whole interaction.  Since then they saw each other only on the battlefield. No time to chit-chat there, unfortunately. 

(Y/N) isn’t even sure if he’s going to be in school today.  She nervously fiddles with the massive ring on her hand which had the letter W on it. A very nice lady welcomes her at the secretariat and gives her some papers. 

The hardest thing to do is finding her locker. She looked for it every break that they got. She considered asking someone if they could help her but for some reason, everyone in the hall seemed so... distant and mean. Their looks were judging or maybe analyzing her.  She even found herself looking for the Parker kid. He would have helped her. 

In the end, she decides to look for her locker at lunch break. Not eating at the time she’s supposed to isn’t something to be happy about though.  The halls are completely empty only a few noises from the cafeteria or the squeaking of boot soles from the gym can be heard.

(Y/N) is going around and checking the numbers. This is the third time she walked around the whole school and still nothing. It’s like her locker disappeared.  She was about to try for the fourth time when a girl with darker skin came out of the cafeteria. Her hair is black and it neatly curls at the ends. She’s very pretty and looks like a nice person in general which is a pleasant change after today. 

But there’s something off about her. The moment she walked out of the cafeteria her expression changed. She looked upset. But she also looked like a senior so she must know this school like the palm of her hand. Well... here goes nothing!

“Hey! Um.. hi! I wanted to ask if you could help with-” the girl interrupts her.

“I’m sorry but I’m kind of in a rush.” she points to the exit but smiles politely. 

“Oh... Okay. I’m new here so I have no clue where to find....stuff.” (Y/N) laughs at herself, hoping the awkwardness will fade away a little. 

“Good luck.” the unknown senior smiles as politely as before. 

“Well, I guess I’ll see you around?” 

The unknown girl whispers “I don’t think so...” and leaves.

Okay... That was strange.

(Y/N) grips the paper with her lockers number tightly and finally decides to eat some lunch. 

Enough locker searching for today. She’ll try again tomorrow with more luck hopefully. 

There’s a girl sitting and leaning against the wall a few meters from the door to the cafeteria. Her hair is in a low ponytail just like (Y/N)’s.  Her lunch tray is next to her meanwhile she draws something in her sketchbook. 

(Y/N) completely understands how this girl feels. 

She gets her lunch just like everyone else. There’s not much left but a cheese sandwich and an apple should be enough. When her eyes land on a small orange juicebox her mood instantly improves. They had the same juice boxes at her old school. Seeing it here sends a painful nostalgy but at the same time, it fills her with happiness. 

When everything is on her lunch tray she heads out of the cafeteria.  There were a few eyes watching her “Where’s the new girl going?” kids from Flash's table start whispering. 

Flash looks around to find who are his friends talking about but he only gets to see her back. 

(Y/N) is relieved to find the girl in the same spot as before. The only difference is that her sketchbook is now closed lying next to her and she’s eating some pasta with vegetable sauce. 

(Y/N) sits next to the girl and puts the tray on her long legs. 

The girl sounds suspicious “Did Flash send you?” 

“Who?” (Y/N) frowns in confusion “No. No one sent me. I’m new here.” 

Her response is a subtle “Oh...”

They’re both silent for a minute. 

“I’m Michelle by the way. But my friends call me MJ.” she introduces herself.

“I’m (Y/N).”

“Are you new in New York? I haven’t seen any students transferring to our school in the middle of the school year.” Michelle asks.

Alright. We trained this. Just don’t panic. Be natural.

“It’s kind of a boarding school deal but... Not really. My parents live in L.A. they work in film. Not that they’re famous or anything they’re both cameramans. We don’t have much time for each other and their way of dealing with it is to send me away.” Lies, lies and more lies. 

Awkward and unclear. Perfect.

Michelle just nods. It looks like she believes her. 

“Is this your first day?”

“Yep.”

“Did you have Mr. Conner?” Michelle squints her eyes at (Y/N).

She’s a little lost in all the names of the teachers “Is it the one with the billy-goat beard or the one that smells like eggs?” 

“The one with the beard. The egg smelling one is Mr. Cooper. He makes us call him Steve because his childhood superhero and role model was Captain America. He’s trying to relate to us and be cool but he’s just making a fool out of himself.” Michelle shrugs. 

“Yeah, I had Mr. Conner. He seemed like a great math teacher. His beard is attractive to every girl in my class except me.” (Y/N) gives a little rundown of her thought.

“Great. You passed the test. We can be friends.” MJ nods to herself. 

This brings a smile on (Y/N)’s face. Weird friendship test but as long as she passed it she didn’t mind.

“Hey what were you drawing in that sketchbook?” it’s her time to ask questions. 

MJ isn’t very keen about sharing something with her. 

“Oh come on I answered all your questions. Plus I’m immune to the beard-beauty of Mr. Conner!” she makes MJ laugh a little.

“I just doodle people I see around me,” she says as she hands her the sketchbook. 

There’s a lot of doodles of students and teachers.  Happy, sad, stressed, angry, laughing, sleepy, concentrated. All the emotions you could possibly have in school. They’re there. 

Some of her works are just quick sketches and some look very elaborate.  There are two faces that look familiar to her but she stays silent. She’s not supposed to know anyone from here right? Let’s not put any doubts in MJ’s head. 

There are two pages devoted to superheroes. There’s Mr. Cooper as Captain America in all sorts of different poses.  The other page is devoted to Spider-Man. There are some good drawings of him swinging on his webs but there’s also one where he has the mask pulled off. It reveals a very very very masculine man with sharp cheekbones and longish dirty blonde hair. (Y/N) almost chokes on the juice she’s sipping. She wants to laugh so bad.

Oh wow. So this is what they imagine him to look like. 

The last drawing is a girl with a piece of paper in her hand. She looks very focused on what’s written on it but also.. confused. 

“Is that me?” (Y/N) turns to her new friend.

MJ smirks on the sketch “Yeah I couldn’t help but notice that you’re walking around the school for the third time with that same expression.” she comments. 

“Wow... You really do have a talent.” 

It’s nice to hear some recognition for once “Thanks.” 

For the rest of the lunch break, they talk about different things. School, hobbies or memes.  MJ even gave her her juicebox. (Y/N) is excited that she found a friend she can spend lunch breaks with.

________________________________________________________________

Day two and locker is still not found. 

This time (Y/N) didn’t walk through the whole school building three times but only once because she got so angry when locker B215 wasn’t next to B214 she made all of the trash from the small waste bins fly out.

Michelle sat on the same place as yesterday. She exchanged drawing for reading today. It seems that she’s really into this story.

(Y/N) stands before the cantine and looks at her options. She picks fish fingers and mashed potatoes. They don’t look appealing but they smell good which is hopefully a good sign.  To her delight, there are the same juice boxes as yesterday. 

With all her food and juicebox in place, she happily starts walking to the exit to go sit next to MJ. Before she can get to the doors some guy steps in her way. 

His clothes look starched and expensive. He’s definitely a nerd but the way he walks and holds his head high... A cocky, bigheaded, rich nerd. What a combination. This won’t end well.

“You’re (Y/N) right? You’re new here... I’m Flash Thompson.” he points a finger at her as he’s walking closer.

(Y/N) shifts her weight from foot to foot and waits for what’s going to happen.

“Look, you can sit at my table. You don’t have to be friends with losers that eat in the hallway. I can find a spot at my table for you. And maybe if you even ask nicely it can be right next to me.” Flash smirks.

All of a sudden (Y/N) isn’t as hungry as she thought. Her stomach is doing flips because of how disgusted she feels by that guy. Who the hell does he think he is to try and tell her where to sit?

“It’s fine. MJ gives me her juice boxes and draws me porn. I think I’m okay with her.” (Y/N) walks past him but Flash has the audacity to start speaking again and even catch her arm. 

“There was enough charity yesterday. A lot of people would give anything for the chance I’m giving you right now.” 

(Y/N) starts seeing red. She feels her powers slipping out of her control. Her blood is boiling.

Why does this Flash guy act like he’s giving her the opportunity of a lifetime? 

“Touch me one more time and I’ll break both your hands.” (Y/N) growls silently but pretty much everyone could hear because the cafeteria was drowning in silence. 

Everyone is watching them.

Out of nowhere, a familiar boy runs to them. 

It’s Peter Parker. 

“Woah woah guys let’s calm down before someone overthrows the water tank.” he makes unsubtle eye contact with the girl whos still surprised by his presence. 

“Bugger off Parker.” Flash wawes at him as if he was an annoying fly. 

(Y/N) finally turns around and walks out of the cafeteria not looking back. 

“What took you so long?” Michelle doesn’t look like she cares at all but there’s that something in her tone of voice which tells otherwise. 

“Some Flash guy was forcing me to sit at his privileged table,” she explains.

MJ starts to falsely choke which makes her new friend laugh.

The doors to the cafeteria open again. Both girls quickly redirect their attention to whoever wants to mock them again.

Peter’s standing there with another guy who’s shyly looking at the floor.

(Y/N) almost unnoticeably shakes her head to stop him. The further they stay away from each other the better. No one will even think they could have anything in common. The less attention the better. If someone reveals their superhero identities it’s over. 

Peter swiftly walks over to them and sits down right next to (Y/N). His friend follows. 

“What are you doing here?” (Y/N) asks as calmly as possible. 

“Well... I heard this is the place where losers eat. That’s exactly where we belong so we're here. And MJ is our friend too so if she sits in the hall we sit there too.” Peter announces with a proud smile waiting for Michelle's reaction.

She just shrugs “I don’t care do whatever you want.” 

Peter looks reconciled with his friend's behavior. 

“Oh by the way, I haven’t introduced myself yet. I’m Peter Parker and that’s Ned Leeds.” he points at his friend who smiles a bit and nods but then continues to shyly look at the floor. 

“(Y/N)” she nods at them too .

Her and Peter exchange a look that says Well played.

They have to make it believable. 

“Miss Jones?” an unknown teacher walks around the corner “Kids why aren’t you sitting at a table in the cafeteria like the others?” he looks surprised. 

None of them answer until MJ takes it in her hands “Because we’re losers...” 

The teacher just stands there for a second and looks at them and they look back at him. He obviously doesn’t know how to respond to this. 

“Um.. Well.. Miss Jones can you come with me for a second I need to speak with you.” 

Michelle slowly gets up looking annoyed and disappears around the corner. 

The moment she’s gone Peter starts screaming in an undertone “What was that supposed to be?! What are you doing here?! Mr. Stark didn’t tell me about this and I thought you were going bac-”

“Woah woah can you calm down a bit? We still have company here.” (Y/N) looks directly at Peter’s friend who looks like he’s watching his favorite tv show and he’s on the edge to see what happens next. 

“What? Ned? He knows about everything.” 

“What?!!” (Y/N) shouts. 

“You don’t have to worry I won’t tell anyone. I’m like a locked vault.” Ned tries to reassure her. 

“Apart from that one time in gym class right...?” Peter frowns at his friend.

Ned looks ashamed. He backs off as if he wanted to disappear. 

“So he knows about everything that happened? He knows about me?” she asks.

“Yep. He knows everything.” Peter nods.

“Absolutely everything?” 

“Absolutely everything.” 

“Great.” (Y/N) rests against the wall again and closes her eyes to calm herself. 

Closing her eyes doesn’t really help because all she sees is that white nothingness with a terrified Peter in the middle. Talk about trauma. 

“You have to learn to control your powers my soda almost jumped out of the can.” Peter worries.

“You think it’s that easy? My powers aren’t controllable like yours. They’re like a ticking bomb!” she tries to explain.

“Why did Mr. Stark send you here then?”

(Y/N) lets out a sigh “He said I’ll have reasons to control it here. It’s supposed to be motivation. It’ll either work or end in a catastrophe.” she starts slurping her juice. 

Peter is nervously tapping his fingers on the food tray “Yeah that sounds like Mr. Stark.” 

He’s thinking how he could solve this situation. How to minimalize the risks?

Tag list: @royalestrellas