#i almost want to change my icon. almost. i won't. but he would tempt me.

[stopthefeeling]

I love Twelve so much, he's everything

[rndyounghowze]

Emanon Players perform Jesus Christ Superstar at Absegami High School in Galloway, NJ

By Ricky Young-Howze

The time is finally here! I have been a huge fan of Jesus Christ Superstar since I was in high school so many years ago. This rock opera with music by Andrew Lloyd Weber and lyrics by Tim Rice has not just been a part of my life but a part of my psyche! I have just never seen a production of it onstage. It is so fitting that my first time is with this production directed by Chip Garrison with the Emanon Players. I have been getting chills just looking at the promo photos! So all the waiting since last fall is over. Now it's time to figure out what's the buzz!

Just in time for Palm Sunday follow the last days of Jesus Christ throug the lens of a 1960's rock opera. While most of the apostles are wondering when the revolution will happen Judas is busy wondering if it's all going to end in disaster. Mary Magdalene is wrestling with feelings she didn't think she'd have, while Caiaphas is wrestling with what to do with the "miracle wonderman". It seems that anyone who has any contact with Jesus of Nazareth ends up wrestling with some dilemma or another. But in an opera full of questions and people seeking answers the main crux is clear "Jesus Christ Superstar. Who are you?" And that's the individual question all of us take away as we leave. But first we must follow the story all the way to its inevitable end. (Or is it the beginning?)

Direction by Chip Garrison was just epic. I have seen a little bit of everything from this man and loved all of it but nothing suits this man best than a good opera. That's where his attention to detail and his ability to coach great performances out of these kids comes into play. He can take kids of all shapes and sizes with many different talent sets and weave them into a cohesive performance. I would love to see more shows like this from them.

Now I rarely ever give standing ovations or even clap during performances. If you see as many shows as I have you just know when you feel it and you want it to be sincere. This show made me want to jump up and down and dance in the aisles, both with pride for these kids and the love of this show. However I was a bit disappointed that there wasn't a curtain call at the end of the performance. I understand that there is a heavy message to this story and you want us walking away with a certain feeling but I was more worried that someone was hurt backstage. I hear that they are giving a company bow at the end of Sunday's performance. I really wish I had gone to that one.

Grace Vu as Judas Iscariot follows in the footsteps of Broadway Alum Shoshana Bean who started the trend of female Judases just last year. I think that it's a great change. I was holding my breath when her wonderful deep voice took control of the stage for "Heaven on Their Minds". That doesn't mean that she can't scream either! This girl has some range both vocally and physically and she brought all of it to bear on this character.

Coby Alavez as Jesus: Well in short YESSSSS!!!!! At length I could gush about this young performer's voice for hours. I've seen him progress for awhile and I can tell you that he's only gotten better with every show. His voice is just this wall of sound that comes at you (even though his mic would sometimes add some distortion)! I felt his energy much better in his chest and head range than when he was screaming to the rafters. It is very hard to step into this role and bring both a strong yet broken energy to the show and still keep up that arena rock energy. And this isn't a seasoned stage vet this is a senior going to college next year. This is a boy with room for improvement and it astonishes me what his future holds.

All Mary Magdalenes in this show are judged by one song and I think it's unfortunate. It's just not about mastering a ballad it's embodying a soothing spirit in a cankerous world. Sydney Mullin as our Mary Magdalene tonight was just the balm to soothe the savage ear. It's very hard to be the calm one in the middle of this rock concert setting but she really did it. I can't believe that such a young performer had that kind of maturity.

A lot of people know Mara Platt who played Simon the Zealot. She has a signature voice. I just didn't get her yet as a performer until her performance tonight. She really just is a young performer with a screaming voice that's tearing at her throat just dying to get out. It's almost impossible to know her off the stage because she doesn't truly transform until she walks the boards.

I have been following William Platt who played Pontius Pilate just as long as young Coby and I can't tell you just how proud of this guy am. Every role he's taken, both big and small, he attacks with such a veracity. He leaves his heart out there for all to see as if he doesn't mind if it gets broken. If he keeps it up there is nothing this this guy won't be able to do. It is my hope for every young performer to take on a role to the hilt just like him.

You heard Connor Morrissey who played Simon Peter before you heard his character's solo. His featured solos in other numbers really showed this guys devotion to range. And then his moment comes and he knocks it out of the park. Simon Peter's time is so short on this stage and he really made the most of it.

My Supporting Shoutouts go out to two bad Sadducee mother- (shut your mouth) and a glitzy and glam Herod.

I've always had a soft spot in my heart for these two characters. You're not some mustache twirling villain here. You're religious leaders trying to do the best for your community. Makael Rogers as Caiaphas and Courtney Jones as Annas brought that dynamic to the stage. My wife Dana summed Makael's voice up nicely by just typing "whoa". And that's where I'm gonna leave it because that voice can't be improved upon with more words. A big kudos to Courtney for taking the role of second banana Pharisee well. This is the best vocal work I've seen her do.

As expected Johnny Keen as Herod made the grandest of entrances. Yes this is just a pastiche but it is a really big tent pole performance and one of the most memorable numbers. I really love how he leaned into it. It's an on and off time onstage where you're gone as quickly as you appeared and he really made it his own and did his best.

My Background Standouts go to the amazing background dancers for two of my favorite numbers. Most of them were also main performers doubling their role so I found their ability to blend amazing. So this goes out to Andrea Brandt, Daryl McAllister, Breana Smail, Samantha Garofolo, Chloe Verderber, April Kachnic, Sydney Mullin, Isabella Nieves, Mara Justine Platt, and Emily Deibert.

From the very opening chords of the overture I knew that Music direction by Brian Conover was epic! It took the iconic score that made my youth and gave me chills all over again! Even the "small" version of this orchestra is an eleven piece hardcore group of rock awesomeness!

Choreography by Katie Taylor really took the spurs to these kids. I have a feeling that they can now do the choreography in their sleep. I do love the times though when the kids could freestyle more and be themselves. They were really more loose. I just know after a good night's sleep that stiffness will shake itself off for tomorrow's performance.

I feel that where set design by Chip Garrison held tightly to the classic "Brown Album" style costume design by Ashley Winkler is a big throwback to the NBC live concert performance with more modern clothing. I feel that this makes a great synergy especially with lighting design by Peter Avagliano bringing the rock concert vibe with intelligent lighting and bright hues. It melds into a living history of all the incarnations this opera has had over the decades.

I was really biased towards this musical from the beginning. Some would be tempted to say that my bar was set really low. In fact I came in excited yet skeptical. These kids were going to have to work harder to do a show that I know every note intimately. And they not only exceeded my expectations they leaped over them as if they weren't even there. You definitely need to come see this show. It runs both tomorrow and Sunday. You definitely won't be disappointed.

[imaginedilestrade]

Surreal but nice- Part one

A/N: Okay so it's my birthday this week and to celebrate I've decided to do a 90's marathon! I was born in the 90's and I've incorporated some iconic 90's movies and tv shows into fics! 😁

Kicking off this week is 'Notting Hill' 😊it's a two parter! I hope you enjoy! ❤️

Warnings: Swearing, lil bit of angst.

It was a typical Wednesday for Greg, spending the day in the unsuccessful little travel bookshop that he ran in Notting Hill. His favourite part of the world.

Nothing extraordinary happened to him.

He wasn't successful, he was divorced- his wife left him for a Harrison Ford lookalike, he was living with his mad Irish roommate Jim and he was stuck in a rut.

"Can I get you a cappuccino?" Sherlock sent him a smile as they went over the books. Another month, another loss.

"Sure but make it a half," Greg tried to make light of the situation "Its all I can afford!" His laugh fizzled out. Sherlock nodded and left. Greg pondered over a thought again, a reoccurring one.

Nothing extraordinary happened to him.

That was until the bell above the door rang and he saw someone sneak into his bookshop. "Can I help you at all?" He called out to the person he couldn't see because they were behind a bookcase.

"No thanks..." Greg felt his breath hitch at the softness of the voice that lingered for a moment in his stuffy bookshop. Although, it made the shop a little more refreshing "I'll just have a look around."

Greg noticed that you were wearing a large pair of sunglasses and a dark jacket with the same colour of trousers and a crisp white shirt with shoes to match when you peered your head from around the bookcase.

Greg couldn't shift his gaze from you or form a sentence that was more than one word.

You walked around and grabbed a book, opening it and skimming over the page "That book isn't that great, but if it's Turkey you want to read about," he called out and you looked over your shoulder, noticing he was grabbing a yellowish book "I recommend this one." He cleared his throat and glanced between you and the book "I think the man has actually been to Turkey, which always helps. There is also an amusing incident with a kebab," you felt the corners of your mouth twitch upwards "One of many amusing incidents!"

"I'll think about it..." you hummed and turned around. Greg looked around to the monitor and let out a sigh, you watched as he went to the back of the shop and confront a man trying to steal a book by stuffing it into his trousers. When Greg returned you walked up to the desk with your book "I was going to steal a book but now I've changed my mind," you joked and Greg let it a small, nervous laugh "Signed by the author I see."

Greg glanced at the book "If you can find an unsigned one it would be worth a bloody fortune!" His remark made you chuckle. A moment later the same man who attempted to get away with a book down his trousers walked up to you.

"Can I have an autograph?"

You glanced up to Greg briefly before looking down at the desk and then to the man "Sure..." you sighed out. Greg could visibly see you stiffen and noticed the nerves in your eyes when you looked at him again to take the pen he was handing you. "What's your name?"

"Phillip, Phillip Anderson." You quickly scribbled on the piece of paper and handed it over to him with a thin smile. He read over it "What does it say?"

"Well that's my signature and above it, it says: 'Dear Phillip, you belong in jail."

"Good one," he uttered "Do you-do you want my phone number?"

You had to physically restrain yourself from laughing "Tempting, but no." He left after that and you handed the book over to Greg "I'll take this one." He rang it up for you and tossed in another for free. You took the bag off him with a smile and a thanks before leaving. Greg watched you exit the shop and disappear, he couldn't comprehend what had just happened. It was simply...extraordinary.

---

After downing the cappuccino Sherlock had got him, Greg popped out to the coffee shop to pick up a bite to eat as well as an orange juice for Sherlock. He left the cafe with a smile on his face as the sun shone down on him. It was a lovely day, made even better by seeing-

"Shit!"

He had collided into someone whilst daydreaming and spilled the orange juice all over someone's top. Your top. Although some did end up over him. He tried to wipe it off you but you jumped back "Get your hands off me! God!" You whined and looked down at the bright orange patch on your shirt. Greg offered for you to clean up at his house that was just across the road. With a defeated sigh, you accepted his offer.

He lead you over to the flat and pointed upstairs, explaining where everything was. As you want to change, he attempted to clean the flat a little bit. When Greg looked up a few minutes later you had changed into a completely different set of clothes and no one could have guessed that you were soaked in orange juice not even five minutes prior. Greg, being nervous yet hospitable, offered you a multitude of drinks and snacks, including the odd combination of apricots and honey. You said no to it all. "Do you say no to everything?" He asked.

You were about to answer almost instantly before your voiced hitched, a small smile played on your face as you replied "No." You watched him lean against the fridge "Thank you for your help."

"Not a problem and if I may," you raised a brow slightly "Can I just say that I think you are...heavenly. I probably won't get the chance to tell you ever again because you'll never return to my bookshop because those ones you got today are awful!" You couldn't help but lightly laugh as you made your way towards his front door. "It was nice to meet you...surreal but nice!" You sent him a small smile before he opened the door again and you left, disappearing out a door once again. "What was I thinking?" Greg muttered to himself as he walked away from the door. Seconds later, it rang. He opened it back up and you were standing there, you had forgot your books. Greg let you back in again and fetched your books.

"Thank you," you took them from him and then faced him, staring into those big brown eyes of his. You were drawn to them and gravitated towards them and his lips. Greg was taken by surprise feeling your soft, warm lips on his. He never expected anything like this to happen to him of all people. You both slowly pulled back and were left looking at each other again, burning your eyes into one another's. But your eyes diverted to the door when it suddenly opened and Greg's roommate walked in, completely passing the two of you and acting like there wasn't a thing out of place.

"I uh..." you watched as Greg's roommate vanished around the corner "I'd appreciate if you didn't tell anyone about this."

"Oh no of course not!" Greg assured "I'll tell myself sometimes but I won't believe it!" You couldn't help but smile at his disbelief and the way his cheeks had flushed a light pink colour. You left once again, leaving Greg in a hazy cloud of different emotions.

---

Over the next few days Greg ground himself thinking about you constantly. There wasn't a single second where he didn't think about you or that kiss.

Jim, being unbelievingly scatterbrained, told Greg that you had phoned-three days ago-under a fake name. Greg made his way to the Ritz with a bunch on sunflowers but when he arrived at your hotel room, someone was behind him. "Are you sure this is the right room?" He asked the man who nodded. Seconds later the door opened and a blonde woman invited them both in. With confusion riddled over his face he followed her into the room and found a multitude of other people waiting.

"What magazine are you from?" The woman asked.

"Uh..." Greg glanced about and said the first one he spotted on a table "'Horse and Hound'."

"Right..." she wrote it down on her notepad "Well she's waiting for you, I'll take you through Mr..."

"Lestrade, Greg Lestrade."

Greg entered another room and felt the air drain from his lungs seeing you by the window with a smile on your face. "You have five minutes," your agent made Greg jump, suddenly appearing behind the bookseller. You awkwardly smiled and extended an arm to the seat beside you, your agent kept walking in and out of the room.

"These are for you but," Greg glanced around the room, it was already engulfed in flowers "But I suspect you already have enough!"

"No!" You took them from Greg "They're lovely thank you." You placed them down and let out a small sigh "I'm sorry it has to be like this. I thought the press tour would be over. I'm also sorry I had to give you a fake name, I do it all the time when I'm in hotels. People know how to hunt you down!" You forced a laugh.

Greg opened his mouth to speak when your agent came in and raised a brow at him "Uhh so do you have many horses in this film?"

"Well..." you glanced over to your agent and noticed him lightly shaking his head "Not any at all, no."

"Why is that?"

"Because the movie is set in space..." the corner of your lip twitched upwards.

Your agent left again and Greg let out a sigh of relief "I'm absolutely balls at this!" As your agent appeared and reappeared, he kept asking you horse related questions, eventually Greg's time was up.

"It was nice to meet you," you shook Greg's hand, keeping up appearances "Surreal but nice."

Greg felt his lips curve into a smile. Your agent left again and Greg squeezed in one final question before he came back "Are you free tonight?"

You sadly smiled "No...sorry." You pulled your hand back and cleared your throat, your agent came back and led Greg away where he was unexpectedly taken away to interview other cast members. He didn't have a clue was he was doing at was making a fool out of himself in the process. The blonde haired woman Greg had met before called out his name again and he uttered out a protest under his breath, he really didn't want to interview another movie star. But he didn't. Instead he was lead to your room again "I'm not busy tonight."

"Y-you're not? But I thought you had plans?" Greg's brow crinkled with confusion.

"I cancelled them."

Greg widely smiled "Oh shit! It's my sisters birthday! I totally forgot!"

"That's okay," you reassured "I don't mind going."

"You want to go?" He pointed at his chest "With me?" He then pointed in a westward direction "To my sisters birthday?"

"Yes." You nodded with a growing smile "I'll be your date."

---

"Uh Y/N," Greg nervously introduced you to his friends and family "This is John and Mary. Dear friends of mine."

"Hello!" Mary smiled "It's funny you are the spitting image of-"

Greg cut her off "Y/N, this is Y/N..." Greg sent Mary a knowing glare. She shook your hand with a gaping smile. Greg lead you over to John who was in the kitchen "John this is Y/N."

"Well it's nice to meet you Y/N," he went to shake your hand before freezing, instantly recognising who you were "Y/L/N!"

"Nice to meet you too," you moved your hand forward and shook his hand before he pulled away to get the door. Greg's sister entered and as soon as she did, she gasped.

"Oh holy fuck!"

"Y/N, this is my little sister, Honey. Honey, this is Y/N." Greg formally intoduved the two of you. Honey was in a starstruck haze.

"I am such a huge fan! Massive fan! You are utterly amazing and I think you are the most beautiful woman in the world!" You bashfully smiled at her comment "I genuinely believe, and I have for some time now, that we are destined to be best friends. What do you think?"

You were a little taken aback but sent her a smile "Lucky me!"

The doorbell rang again amd John answered it "Mycroft's here!" Greg introduced you to Mycroft, he was oblivious to who you were. You spoke with him while Greg chatted with John and Mary.

"So what do you do?" He asked.

"I'm an actor, films mainly..." you replied with a small smile gracing your face.

"Must be tough, I know people who barely get seven thousand a year! How much did you make on your last movie?" Mycroft sipped on his wine.

"Fifteen million."

He choked on his Chardonnay "Well that's," he coughed "Fairly good..."

John announced that dinner was ready but before you sat, you wondered where the bathroom was. Honey happily lead you through. "I can't believe the girl you mentioned was Y/N Y/L/N!" Mary squeaked.

"Y/N Y/L/N?!" Mycroft repeated back and placed a hand on his head "Ohh god. Oh god I feel so stupid."

"I can't believe it," Honey returned "I just followed Y/N into the bathroom. She had to tell me to leave! I was still chatting to her as she was pulling down her zipper!" She giggled. You returned a few moments later and enjoyed the company of Greg and his friends and family over dinner.

---

You and Greg walked side by side down the streets of London "Do you want to uh..." Greg spoke up, you could hear the nerves in his voice "My place is just..." he trailed off and nodded towards the end of the street.

"Too complicated..." you sadly smiled and continued walking. You stopped when you noticed a gate "What's this?" Greg explained that it was a garden that the residents in the surrounding houses shared. It was locked and Greg didn't have a key. "Lets go in!" You couldn't help but bit down on your lip to control your smile as you climbed over the bars. Greg struggled whereas you jumped over with ease.

"Now what in the world in this garden could make that ordeal worth while!" Greg jogged up to you, catching his breath.

He was caught off guard when you crashed your lips against his, sharing a passionate kiss under the moonlight.

He shook his head and his lips curved into a smile "Nice garden."

You silently walked through the park, every so often Greg would say something that made you laugh or smile. He was enamouring to you, he truely was like no one you had ever met. And you liked that.

A few days later you had dinner with him, it was ruined by a group of men sitting behind the small partition wall who were making remarks about you. At first you tried to smile and laugh their comments away but they got worse and soon Greg couldn't take any more of it and stormed up to the table. You felt your heart swell as he attempted to fight for you, to stand up for you. The men were too ignorant and rowdy so you pulled Greg back and headed to the exit "Thank you for sticking up for me, I love that you tried. Someone had to put them in their place...in fact..." you stopped and turned around, making a beeline for the table. All the men gasped and quickly uttered out apologies "My friend is a little sensitive," you shot them all a fake smile. "I'm sure it was all banter and I'm sure you guys all have dicks the size of peanuts, anyway, have a good night!"

You turned and walked away, Greg hot on your heels. "That was amazing!"

"Ohh I shouldn't have said that! I should not have said that..." you mumbled. Greg walked you to your hotel and you both stood outside for a moment "What am I doing with you...?" Your head cocked to the side a little.

"I'm afraid I don't know..." Greg shrugged a shoulder with a half smile.

"Do you want to come up?" You rashly asked. Greg didn't know what to say at first but after a few minutes of internal deliberation, he agreed. "Give me five minutes!" You walked into the hotel and made your way to your room with a smile. It fell very quickly when you saw who was waiting for you.

Greg made his way to your room five minutes later and knocked on the door, you opened it and felt your stomach sink. "Hello again," he kiss your cheek.

"You have to leave..." you whispered with tears prickling your eyes. Before Greg could open his mouth to ask what was wrong, your boyfriend appeared.

"Finally, some room service!" He bellowed and your gaze fell to the ground "I wanted to be the best boyfriend ever and order some fruit or somethin' for Y/N. Only fruit though!" He laughed and jabbed your side. He always degraded and you hated it, you hated it even more that Greg was standing in front of you. You didn't want to drag him into this mess. "And take that trash when you leave!"

You squeezed your eyes shut and let out a watery sigh "Greg, I'm sorry. I don't know what to say..."

Greg slumped his shoulders, disappointment clouding his face "I believe it's usually 'goodbye'." He couldn't even crack a sad smile.

He was heartbroken.

---------------------

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PART TWO

@daynaan-black-dawn @the-baby-bookworm @imnottalkingtoyou @theyre-my-divsion @girl-next-door-writes @annkli @wcsteland @heyyou-guys @redgreyandpurple @damnitman-jamlocked-inthetardis @princesspeach212 @disneymarina @imayjustbejamesmoriarty @-waythe- @sherlockedtash88 @fantasticwizardnerd

[somxusarchiveee]

MY PHONE WON'T LET ME SEE THE ICON BUT PLZ DRINK YVE'S BLOOD IT'S BLUE

Send 🧛 for Nocto to drink your blood (in regards to this headcanon here)

      ❝ Thank you.. I.. ❞ He wasn’t able to really speak right. Though he was use to these urges being random, this time it was more so then usual. The part of him that haunted him through the years was trying so desperately in this moment to leak through, and that was the last thing he wanted.. but now the urge to have blood was even more powerful. Noctis was beyond thankful that Yve offered herself.. without much argument.

           There was no time to get emotional over her gratitude, his eyes were beginning to shift in color, tempted to change red. Yve held Noct to sit up, gave him a small kiss on his forehead, one last gesture of reassurance before he continued. A nod given till he brought himself to bury his head in her neck. Breath heavy, hands took hold of her nape and the other her shoulder. He forget he could almost smell it, the scent of her blood.

                 He let his lips press firmly onto her skin, almost as to say he was sorry. Even his tongue came to slowly lick at the spot he was gazing it, just before he would soon make his mark.. fangs hovered over while he felt the weight of Yve’s hands take hold of his head, showing how ready she was. Noctis understood. She had been through far more pain then he could imagine, this was probably nothing to her..

      Soon he stopping second guessing himself and let his fangs sink into her, slightly groaning as he tasted her blood. He couldn’t think of much else, couldn’t care if anyone saw him, this moment was all that mattered. Noct drank more then he thought he could, for she did not stop him. Though he took a lot of blood, he look more exhausted then she when he was finished. In the midst of cleaning himself, he almost had forgotten her blood was a different color. Thankfully he realized it was normal it was blue.. so soon enough and let his head rest again her chest.

           ❝ Your blood is beautiful.. ❞

[scholar-of-the-abyss]

the world we live in. it's so... wonderous. mysterious. even magical. no... no no no.. not that world. i meant this one. the smartphone. each system and program app is it's own little planet of perfect. technology. all providing services so necessary, so crucial, so unbelievably profound. look who just sent me a text! addie mccallister? it must be a mistake. or a joke. or a scam! don't send her your social security number. she's right there! that's our user, alex. and, like every freshman in high school, his whole life, everything, revolves around his phone. and, because the pace of life gets, faster and faster... phones down in five. and attention spans get shorter and shorter... and... you're probably not even listening to me right now. who has the time to type out actual words? and that's where we come in. the most important invention in the history of communication! emo gees. that's my home! textopolis. here, each of us does one thing, and we have to nail it every time. christmas tree just has to stand there, all festive. merry christmas! it's still september, tim! and princesses... i am so pretty. they just gotta wear their crowns and keep their hair comb. we are so pretty. devil, poop, thumbs up, they just show up and they're good to go. but for the faces, the pressure is on. cryer always has to cry, even if he just won the lottery. hurray, i'm a millionaire! laugher's always laughing, even if he's just broken his arm. ahh!! ah! i can see the bone!! ah ah ah ah ah... and me, i'm a meh. so i gotta totally be over it all the time, you know? like meh, who cares. which is not as easy as it sounds. i gotta be mehhhhhhhhh i GOTTA! be! mehhhhhhhhh morning misses D, i see you have the little minis with ya! oh, they're so... cute! NYAH, SO ADORABLE, I CAN'T TAKE IT! I WILL NEVER GET THEM TO SLEEP! STICK TO YOUR ONE FACE, WEIRDO. OLE! OLE! OH NO! OH NO! it's hard to only act blasé. when, living in textopolis is.... just so exciting! hah low good simeans! those ah some shalp attach shays! yes, well we have business to attend to. whot kind off business? monkey business. ha ha ha ha, i sounded british. meh... Oh, that was really good.. meh ? meh ... meh ha ha... what the freak ya doing there, mate? practicing. today is my first day on the phone. oh, droit. i'm gonna be so.. meh. what are you going to do? blah! me and the boys are gonna throw ourselves on the barbie! woo! puh-zow! gooday, mate! hey, koh knee chee wah! sorry emote icons!! oh, I hate knocking over the elderly.. let me help, let me help... oh, my colon!!! ducks... hey, is that the time? HEY, my eyes are up here, pal! woo ooh hoo! woo hoo! right on time! and last week, Alex sent me next to THIS text! huh? huh? HA HA HA THAT ELEPHANT PISSED HIMSELF HA HA HA AH HAH HA HAH HAH UH HUH HUH why are YOU laughing, freak? ho ho ha ha ha! now, unlike me, my parents are total pros. gene, please tell me you weren't laughing just now. gene so help me i swear oh, he was, I remember. let's go see if you can get it right. i have some bad news, gene, and i'm afraid that you'll have the wrong reaction. ok, what's the wrong reaction? anything other than meh. come on! i don't want to be late! i'm not letting you go to work today. wait, WHAT? you're just not ready, son. come on!! working in a cube is an Emoji's whole purpose in life! everybody my age is working on the phone except for me! oh sweetie, that's not true. ow! YEAH! i'm going to work on the phone and I'm only ten! that's because I believe in you! should we wash our hands? ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! we're number two! we're number two! see? i, i know i'm different, ok? but, i need to... i can be meh... i just... want to be a working emoji, you know, like... everybody else... and then... i would finally fit in, you know? ah, you fit in, honey. no I don't, mom. I never have. but I could change all that if you just let me! just give me a chance! but what if you get sent out on the phone, making the wrong face? no dad, i'll make the right face! look! maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah? you're so handsome when you make that face. i think he's ready, mel. meh. come on, dad. let me prove it to you. if you really think you're ready... YES! yes i am! i promise i won't let you down! wow! Congratulations, everyone! What an exciting day for all of you! oh, it's really her! oh, pizza! first day on the job, hi, hi! don't be nervous! i won't bite! hi, i'm smiler! ho ho ho ho ho... DON'T TOUCH ME! Hi! i mean.. hey.. as you know, i'm smiler, i'm the system supervisor here, because I was the original emoji. here's how it works. it's nothing fancy! wait a minute... it's really fancy! you each have your own cube on the emoji bar! if alex chooses you, should you be so lucky, your cube will light up! it's showtime! the scanner will scan you, and that scan will get sent right up to alex's text box. and let me tell you guys, there is nothing like getting scanned for the first time. a har, you're gonna love it. now over here is the favorites section, where you'll find all the most popular emo gees. and of course, you'll find my cube here. whoo. you are smooth. just doing my duty. ha ha ha! what did i say? come on, tell me you aren't just a little bit tempted? steven, for the last time, i don't want to buy a timeshare. come on, man, it's high five! you know me! i'm a favorite! Alex hasn't picked you in weeks. when he stops picking you, you're no longer a favorite. there's gotta be some sort of mistake, i mean, look at me, i'm an attractive, hand-giving high five! oh! fistbump! come on in! hey, ladies! FISTBUMP? he's a knucklehead! literally! look at him, I can look like that! ugh, ow, cramp.. big mistake.. oh... help me.. help up a hand.. oh... here you go... thanks mate... hey, little man, how about you create a distraction, and i'll just slip under the rope! uh, oh, is someone lost? smiler, hiya, just leaving. yeah, you know, just killing time before i go back to my cube in the far corner where Alex can't even See Me ANYMORE! you may not be a favorite anymore, but you will always have a place, in a cube! yeah, in the nosebleeds... uh, i'm standing right here? words hurt. the most important thing I can tell you is to just be yourself... basically, happy itself... i am always smiling... places, please! emo gees to your cubes! attention, we've got incoming! gotta be meh, gotta be meh. oh my gosh, my own cube! i can't believe it... oh, i could put a plant over here, and over here could go an inspirational calendar, okay, gotta be meh... look at our son get on there, i'm beaming... with pride! you don't think he'll actually get picked, do you? heiroglyphics. heiroglyphics was an ancient language of picture forms. does that remind anyone of anything. hello. a language of pictures... anyone? early heiroglyphics back in ancient... i gotta reply to addie's text! what should i write? nothing! nothing? words aren't cool. ok, be cool, be cool... alright, alex is not sure how he wants to play this... oh! i would really love it to be me! beam me up! beam me up! i need thumbs up on standby! oh yeah! thumbs up is going in! wait! alex is changing his mind! he's moving! ok, looks like it's gonna be meh... i'm so nervous, i could almost shrug. we are go for meh! initiating scan! okay, you can do this. ah! i can't do this! i can't do it! stop the scan! i can't, it's too late! oh! what's he doing? he's making the wrong face! good for him, little... wait, what? ugh. abort, abort! oh, shi... shut it down, shut it down! ah! what is that emoji? all the emo gees present, evacuate the cube! evacuate the cube! i gotta get out of here! i'm trying! oh, jeez. sorry, everybody. that is not what i meant to do! i kinda.. i kinda panicked.. are you even a meh at all? uh, who, me? like you are, is a malfunction! a malfunction? no, i can be meh, just give me one more chance? you know what would be really fun? a board meeting, where we can find out what to do with you! i just wanted to be useful, you know, fit in! now everybody's calling me a malfunction. i am a malfunction. even if you are a malfunction, gene, your mom and dad still love ya. i knew you weren't ready. let's get you out of here and take you home. one day, all of this will blow over, and everyone will almost forget about what you did. until then, you should probably stay locked up in the apartment. wait, you're gonna hide me away? you're embarrased of me. it's for your own safety. we're trying to protect you, son. gene, where are you going? i'm not going to run away from this. i'm an emoji, and, even though i'm not exactly sure which one... i've gotta have some sort of purpose here, i know it. gene, no! sweetie, please! so, how'd it go, gavel? hey, lightbulb, tell me what's going on in there. what... poop... what is it? tell me turd, tell me truth. what happened? i know it was an accident. we all have accidents you're so soft, poop. not too soft, i hope. i came up here to defend myself, but, uh, you seem pretty happy. so, good news? i'm always happy. oh, right, yeah, truth. but the only thing that could ever make me unhappy, is if one of our emo gees has made a mistake. which would cause alex to lose faith in the phone... and then, our whole gets wiped out! smiler, i devil pinky swear promise to you that i will never, ever make a mistake in the cube again. oh, we know you won't, gene. we know you won't! ha ha, you know, the first time you said it it sounded genuine, but then you repeated it, and, and then, now it's weird. we're setting you up! with our best anti virus bots! so they'll, like, uh, they'll just, they're gonna fix me? actually, delete you. but yes! wait, what? if you get deleted, you don't have to worry about department heads, or the future, or lying about being a malfunction! because you're deleted, right? right! good job! bots! no! stop, he's escaped! party time! oh, wait a minute... the air is better here! beer, tea... i'm coffee! sorry... ish... so ish e. my old cube! ugh, pinkeye. mike! my name's not mike... ah! there's AV bots coming! what, me? just because i'm in the wrong section? holy toledo! what do we do? quick! this way! let's go! don't tell anyone you're about to see this. they'll never find us down here. where are we? the basement? nope. welcome to the loser lounge, where the emo gees who never get used, hang out. go fish! fishcake with swirls sweep so you won't cry. sweep so you won't cry. sweep so you won't cry. i almost got deleted! me! high five! hey, what's up high five? they weren't trying to delete you, they were trying to delete me. you? what's so important about you that they'd send out an entire team of bots? they say... i'm a malfunction. gasp oh, you bringing malfunctions in here now, high five? for crying out loud, abandoned luggage, that had better not be my leftover chinese food... uh... what chinese food? huh ha! do you have any idea what it's like to be living large? hashtag blessed? the favorite of the favorites, and then demoted to this pit of despair? here, will you hit my callouses for me? at least you're a working emoji, that's all i ever wanted. well, if that's all it will take you to be satisfied, then just find a hacker and get reprogrammed. it's not that complicated. where would i find a hacker? in the piracy app, duh. ugh. and who took my clear nail polish? piracy app? to get there, i mean, i have to leave textopolis. so? i've done it. would you be a brother. one of the princess emo gees left the phone altogether, now she lives on the cloud... mmm... ooh, that is good. i'm sure the hacker that helped her do that could easily reprogram you. The name's jailbreak. jailbreak? that's great? reprogrammed. i just need to get reprogrammed, and then i can finally be the meh i was meh to be! help me find that hacker high five, will you? please? maybe this hacker can help you, too? like, rewrite some code? get you into the favorites sections? wait a minute! ow. i've been trying to use my charisma and sensitive entitlement to get me back on top when all I need is a hacker! today's your lucky day! let's roll! hey, can i come too? talk to the hand, bretheren. i thought i was... bye, felicia. ciao, fishcake with swirls. daddy's headed back to the VIPs where he belongs! wait, what about the bots? good point, good point. ow, ow ow, ow... hey... i shouldn't have picked the cactus. i shouldn't have picked it. you didn't even try to get the tree, it's baffling. let's go. high five? hello? high five! where are you? i'm right here! here we are! end of the text aisle. no way. come on, gene, it's perfectly safe! ah! gene, help me! high five! oh no, this is all my fault, high five, I... i'm just messing with you! it's just one of those rubber finger monster puppets from the eighties, i collected the whole set! alright, you coming? uh, what do i do? what do you mean? just take a step through the other side. this, is it. the next time i come back here, i'll be a real meh. high five? woah! are you finished? where, where are we? welcome... to the wallpaper! wow. this place is incredible! each app is a whole new world. ow, that's my face, get off my face, thank you. what is this place? WeChat! it's like a whole other world! oh, it is. what are they? they're bubble pups, they might be cute, but man, are they clean. bubble pups? they're stickers, gene, try to get with the program? this is so cool! wait, what's in that one! everybody's talking about themselves! how does he know so many people? none of these people know him, but they like him, and that's what matters in this life, popularity. uh, i, i think i'd rather just have a real friend. a real friend? how's that going to get you anywhere? what you need are fans! they give you complete and unrelenting support! as long as you're on top. poor gene, i blame myself. i blame you, too. i just wanted to be supported. you just wanted a vacation. you take that back, mel. bots, they haven't found gene by now. he must have skipped town. you mean the wallpaper? our boy's on the run. how about we find him ourselves? yeah, sure. tell those bots to follow those mehs. i'm sure they'll know about all those freaky deaky apps Gene would hide out in. i'm really good at making plans, you guys, right? here we are, the piracy app! this is where we'll find jailbreak. um, but this is, the dictionary app. that's just what alex wants his parents to think. this is called a skin. really? what could a teenage boy possibly want to hide from his parents? just try to keep up, this place can get a little rough. ahoy mateys, look who's back! high five! i'm a bit of a celebrity here, always welcome. ow! loser! come on, follow me. oh, great, emo gees! i thought the conversation just got dumber. ugh, internet trolls, just ignore them. eventually, they'll get a job, or a girlfriend, or some sort of purpose in life, and then they'll stop. virus, we'll just, we'll just walk over this way... hi! it's so great to see you again! do i know you? it's spam! just sign here and i can get you special discounts on vitamins and coupon offers that can save you up to 25 percent! 25 percent? nonono no no, don't get sucked in! back off, spam! it's the only way to do it. back off! thank you very much! you can illegally download our CD right here! hey, trojan horse, how are you? yeah, what'll it be had? i'll have a bottle of... hack, daniels, hmm? maybe with a plate of... cheese, and hackers, kapeesh? you try to buy a hacker, you can just ask, you know. oh, sorry, um, yes. we're looking for a hacker named jailbreak. oh, i know a guy who could hook you up. right over there. oh, yes. patable. no, not him. her! wait, he's a she? hey! jailbreak! mind if we join in? yes. that's the thing about the internet, is that you never know if someone's being ironic or sincere. i sincerely, unironically want you to go away. ha ha ha ha, so good... so here's the thing, my friend gene here has a little problem. well, see, i'm supposed to be a meh, but i don't really feel... yeah, yeah, and we thought that you could help... the princess, you know, off the phone... woah, hold up, that's not a meh face. bots, they're after me! how are you doing that? look, it's just something that i can do, can you help us? follow me. bots, delete my history! i need to wipe my entire hard drive! i made the most delicious cinnamon buns! maybe if there was something to uh, jog my memory? come on! move! hey trolls, wipe our mailbox wearing a tuxedo! hi, it's so great to see you again! this tunnel will get us out of here! move! get us out of here! move! did that cloud taste sweet to you? ow. ow. ow. help me. help, i'm stuck! sweet motherboard! where am i? candy crush! get me out of here! hey, cornface! try getting him out the top! already on it! hold tight, gene! woah! woah! this feels very off.. and smells. i mean, it smells delicious, but, i still don't like it! the game obviously thinks you're a candy, even though you're, weirdly misshapen, you know? what do i do? stay very still! don't worry, we've got your back! right, high five? hey, fingers! you wanna focus? for your information, i happen to have a sugar addiction, and it's a very, serious... hey, finger head, we have to get Gene out of the game without blowing him up! i don't want to blow up! we have to match up the candies so that Gene will drop to the bottom. and we can't match him with any yellows, or else... oh! don't do that, please don't do that. watch. got it? knock 3 in a row, don't blow gene up, got it. and, we have to be careful. yeah yeah yeah. careful! woo hoo! candy! yo! no no no! don't do yellow! do NOT do the yellow! i said careful! hey, addie! i... i was just wondering, if, you are... tasty. what? um... delicious. excuse me? sweet. hey addie! uh... hi nikki. see you later, alex sugar crush. ah! i'm so over this. Wireless Repair Service, how may I help you? i'd like to make an appointment. it's like this phone is playing games with me! woah! hey, what does this do? get me out of here! ooh... suck it in... stop it... stop it... ow ow ow... it's not working! well, there's one option left. we line you up with the yellows. but you said not to do that! special candies get transported to that jar. the game might think that you're a special candy. and... what if it doesn't think i'm a special candy? well... ah! jailbreak, hello? hello, jailbreak? uh, sorry. what if it doesn't think i'm a special candy? oh, i'm not too worried about it. alright, just do it. gene, gene! you're alive! you were trying to see if i had somehow turned into candy, weren't you? yes i was. and you have not! hey, looks like something popped up on alex's calender. ah, i'm sure it's nothing. uh, alex made an appointment at the phone store? calm down, everyone, calm down. don't worry, everything is fine. maybe alex just wants to buy some accessories. uh, his appointment is with techinical support. well, i'm sure we'll have plenty of time to figure this out. uh, his appointment is for tomorrow. then maybe it's just for some routine maintenance? uh, actually, it's to erase the phone. listen, gene, i'm about to become your knight in shining armor. you are? oh yeah. but first, we need to get uploaded to the cloud. that's where we'll find the source code to reprogram you. the... cloud? isn't that off the phone? ding dingding ding! you got it! mmhm, yeah, the cloud! off the phone! uh! we're in candy crush, oz, i know a shortcut to just dance, which is right next to dropbox, where we can get uploaded to the cloud. mmhm, of course, just go dive into the dropbox and vroom! hold up, here's the stinker. before they let us into the cloud, we have to get past this... firewall. the firewall uses face identification. it's really annoying, because i've already tried to get through. guessed wrong once, and now i'm locked out for life. locked out for life? you're thinking, because i can make different faces, the firewall will think i'm different emo gees! yeah, i wanted to say it, because it was my idea. you know, women are always coming up with stuff that men are taking credit for. you know what, well, let's hit the road. high five, you coming? i'm coming! why do i always think i'm going to come around on black licorice? ah! oh! my precious... move it! sudden death, here we come! let's try this one... you tube? wow, what an original treat, and i don't even need a remote. that guy is so expressive. he reminds me of gene. yes, something's really wrong here. our son is a malfunction, and you should have never let him go into that cube. don't blame me for that now, i am hopping mad at you. see? mary, i think we're being followed, but don't overreact. uh oh. i told you not to overreact. what are you doing now? i could be in there for hours. hey, where are you going. i think we should go our seperate ways, mel. i thought i knew the meh that i married, but maybe i don't. but, mary? this tunnel will help us avoid the bots. thanks for helping us. it's really, really nice of you. NPD, dude. you're helping me! move along, move it, why so slow? high five, stop, why are you getting so close? back off. i can't stop now, i'm having a sugar rush! i'm going to go around you. if i stop moving, my heart's going to explode! coming through, jailbreak! watch out! hey! watch it, knuckle butt! i can't feel my face! ha ha! jailbreak, you said back there that i'm... helping you. i've been trying to get past that firewall for months! ha ha ha ha ha, come on, come on, the faster we go, the faster I can become a favorite! ah ha ha ha ha ha! woo hoo! look at me i just want to bounce out of here, get off the phone, and live on the cloud! hee hee! ow! what just happened! you know, you don't like it here? there are so many rules here! what is up with that? the cloud's supposed to be amazing, it's full of dreams too... oh, sugar crash. i can't hold on anymore. catch me, gene, catch me! and you can be whoever you want! thanks. we're free! come on! oh, oh my gosh, my hands are sweating. you know what, come to think of it, i don't really remember there ever being a hacker emoji. oh, um, you know, you're taking too much of my brain space, let's try to keep the chit chat to a minimum. ooh, someone likes you. what are you talking about? this just like when peace sign gave me just one finger, i knew she was in love with me. let's go! ugh, i'm never eating another piece of candy ever again... high-five, don't do it! don't you do it! it's already been in there once. don't do it. wow. move it! are my fingers getting fat? i'll tell you what, this bandage wasn't so tight before. okay, we get through this app, and dropbox is right on the other side. we just need to keep it super DL in here. and no matter what, we can't, turn it, on. OMG this turned it on! what? i'm a hand, it's a big red button! woah. no no no no! what's happening! welcome to just dance! follow my moves and you get to move forward! do the wrong moves and you get an X! three strikes and you're out! out? what does she mean by out? digital death. thanks to you, fingers, now we're going to have to dance our way out. which is alright with me, because I can shake it like michael. or michael's glove, anyway. Are you ready to daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnccccccee? this is bad, gene, i can't dance, i got no groove! come on, everybody can dance! not me, okay? i'm really stiff... see? you don't... understand? okay, no no. stop, stop. you have to stop. i see now what you are saying? just follow her moves. ready to dance in three! this i can't do! two! dude! just shut up and... dance! i'm just doing it! hee hee! shamon! jailbreak! i got you! look, just do the music, express yourself! dance? yeah, you got it! now throw some sauce on that dance burrito! woo hoo! i'm doing it! i'm finally nailing this dance! you got it! hee hee! oh ho ho! great job! now you're moving on to free dance! impress us with your moves to move forward! more dancing? you're killing it, gene! nice! take it gene! you can break it! wait a minute! i've never seen that dance before! what's it called? the emoji... bob? i love it! you do! everybody! do the emojiiiiiiiiiii bob! ha ha ha! woo! oh! princess! woah! you're the princess emoji! you never got off the phone! new player! who? oh no! we gotta go! no worry, they're robots, they can't dance! downloading thought protocol... can't dance, he says. heh. hey alex, you gonna dance for us? alex, that's extra homework for you. yeah, alex's getting wicked, ha ha ha... alex must be deleting the app! watch out! we gotta get out of here! come on! hoo! this song is my jam! high five! come on! let's go! hurry! gene! i got you! gene! gene... hey, wait a minute, where's high five? alex trashed the app.. and high five right along with it. wait, what? wait, trashed? high five is in the trash? he wanted to dance... but, i knew it was a bad idea... i'm so sorry... we gotta get him out of there. gene, dropbox is right here, we have to get to the cloud! and the trash is on the other