#i aint flying to la for that tho thats a lot

[todayisafridaynight]

my dumbass looking at the rgg anime expo event as if i live anywhere near fucking los angeles

[xxxapplecore]

its all about hatinf yourself a little less every day i was Good this year. i did good, better than most other years. i think i spent a lot of 2017 being not miserable even tho there is still a fat “L” on my forehead :)

first off i Got off aderall that stuff is fucked up. i thibk it afgravatef my symptoms. for example, spoken words in conversations were flying over my head and shit, and reading was so bad i had to reread sebtences cause id forget what was being said midway through. even simple sentences or short paragraphs i woud easily forget. Words werr just phonetixs, sounds and no meanings. the only reason why i was on it so long was.because i kept telling myself "yeah this is normal" That's pretty fucked up but now i know better

i have worked on myself esteem and self-image a little bit i don't hate myself as much as i did last year. i can stand to lpok in the mirror now, and when i look at myself im not absolutely totally disgusted at my own figure[............................................

then at work ive been doing good i think im not a bad employee.  i just like doing a good job. i dont worry about work other than needing to find a new job and that makes me anxious and scared i always get relly scared of doing different things even if i am familiar with them. i was thinking maybe i could learn to care of animals and work doing that or do construction which ive been wanting to try.

i have always thought the idea of best friends and calling a person your 'best friend's was dunb. the longest ive ever kept a close friend was like 3 years. i got really close with sonja this year her friendship was the first one i ever made in life outside of school. we are both very extremely lonely peopel =) LOL it makes me feel warm knowing there is another person who cares about me, and calls me their “best friend”, and that i have another person to care about other than myself. before i never really cared about a lot of my friends even if we spent a lot of time together. maybe ive matured some

2017 i was spposed to getbqck on track in school LOL  that shit writes itself. i aint going back there for a while i think not until i can surely focus on it and its not Art. i dont wanna go to school in las vegas

i want to learn to drive soon and get a car andkeepsaving money I need to draw again nothing has been more fulfilling to me than making half-decent drawings or at least ones that i think are half-decent. And thats some thing i havent done ib at least 2 years. make something that i think is good or just be good at something at all. all I've worried about this year was just trying to be happy9 with my self or get closer to the person i would like to become. it takes a lot more patience than i thought and i am always thinking about it... i just want to be happy. i will keep focusing on that

well bye i guess\