#i aint a fuckin expert on japanese culture but cmon

[new-dylan-blog]

Cool Facts I Learned At Work From My Very Culturally Educated Coworkers

This is a kimono, you can tell because it is made out of silk just like all kimonos are. In fact, literally every kimono ever made has been made from silk! Just like this one.

This is a bomber jacket. This is the only style a bomber jacket can be made in because it’s the original style, also not made from silk! bombers are never made from silk. This isn’t an air force jacket or an MA-1 Flight jacket. No, it’s a bomber. The original and one and only style it can come in. ever.

 cool thoughts about kimonos by me below the read more line even tho i’m not an expert or japanese, just have at least one brain in my head that isn’t dead or incapable of thinking 

It’s cool because we can disregard the fact that silk was a very very expensive fabric up until the industrial revolution so literally no peasant in feudal japan/ shogunate japan/whatever could afford to wear such extravagant  cloth. Especially fabrics with intimate floral designs based on the season. In fact most kimonos today aren’t even made of silk? Probably because nobody wants to fucking have like 5 yards of fucking silk taking up space in their house until the 1-5 times a year they may wear it. Most definitely because that would cost a fuck ton of money. 

I’m trying to imagine peasants in japan boiling and weaving silk cloth into peasant kimonos being all frantic like “Jun, we gotta tend to the fields but i gotta fuckin weave me a sick kimono with cherry blossoms on it 1st because its tradition and i’ll literally have no clothes to wear if I don’t because apparently cotton and hemp don’t exist lol” can u imagine silk being the one and only fabric in japan at one point in time? or any country for like hundreds of years.

Also love the fact that we can just assume anything that is silk is a kimono? If it has sleeves, made of silk, and sits on your shoulders, it’s a kimono! DUH! I know that “fashion kimonos” are a thing now but they literally don’t have zippers, elastic collars, pockets, elastic cuffs, or end above the hip like silk bombers do.

wow, it’s kinda weird weird because this piece of clothing kinda reminds me of something...oh yeah a haori

Yep. 

IDK i guess now i’ll just start calling everyones sneakers “flats” and anything with a definite shape a “dildo” because apparently words mean nothing anymore and distinction between them is insignificant anyway, especially if words are travelling to a different country, then you can just make any word mean anything, it doesn’t really matter since we don’t know the language or culture anyway. Toss any and every responsibility to retain meanings to words. it doesn’t matter. we may as well just sit around flabbing our lips saying “bleh bleh bleh bleh” to each other because words don’t matter and contain no meaning anyway. Everything made of silk = kimono, bomber jackets are only MA-1 style flight jackets (not b-15 flight jackets though, only the ma1s that are green & have the little red tag)

Yeah Idk man I just thought “kimonos,” were such an obvious things. Like they are literally so extremely different from anything the west wears.

the fact that they are all made from the same fucking size of cloth?? hand sewn?? meant to be taken apart and resized?? two pieces washed separately? the fuckin belts? obis? haoris?? IDK it’s obvious to me, but i followed a kimono tailor on IG for like 2~ years. so. i’m pretty. exposed. to what kimono looks like. unlike these white washed white people i work with apparently. I MEAN I’M NO FUCKIN EXPERT BUT FO REAL LIKE COME ON DUDES. and don’t give me that shit like “oh well kimono just means something to wear” like bitch please and “chai” just means “tea.” SOrry when I’m talking i just randomly switch in between languages. instead of saying “something to wear” i just say “kimono” because i like just randomly speaking japanese out of fucking no where and removing any and all cultural references and ties to certain words. just to spice things up. cause i’m so fucking random like that. The only translation is the direct one, from google translate. any other definition is fucking meaningless in this cultural hot pot of america

My coworkers: “Hey mom can i borrow a kimono?” Their moms: “Sorry, sweetie but I don’t have any traditional Japanese clothing dating back to--” My coworkers: “GOD, mom youre SOOOOOO stupid! How can you not know that KIMONO just means something to wear?! you’re so embarrassing!”