#i actually hate the 'fade into title card' but i genuinely cannot think of another way to do it

[snowangeldotmp3]

in 2024 im challenging myself to get more familar with writing screenplays/more screenplay ideas. so. here's that. all dialogue is taken from the black widow comics (i can't remember the exact issue) and briefly i thought about switching it to yelena instead of natasha.

[fostersffff]

It’s nearly the end of the year, and barring me entering some kind of wild hyper-focused fugue state, I don’t believe I’ll be finishing any more games by the 31st. So with that said, instead of doing a strictly best/worst thing, here’s a list of awards- both positive and negative- I made up to assign to games that I felt were worth talking about in some way.

The Exceeded Expectations Award

A tight race between Fire Emblem: Three Houses and Devil May Cry 5. I really don’t think anyone was expecting Three Houses to be the smash hit it would become, but the surprising and exciting E3 timeskip trailer was followed by a steady steam of promising information about the gameplay and story that wound up coalescing into fantastic experience. Ultimately, DMC5 wins out for Hideaki Itsuno making the unbelievably bold claim that the game would “exceed fans’ expectations” to an audience with the second highest expectations in the history of the industry, behind only Final Fantasy VII Remake, and then actually delivering on that claim with one of the finest action game experiences I’ve had in recent memory.

The Most Clearly Sent Out To Die Award

Daemon X Machina. It didn’t stand a chance in it’s release window and was cannibalized by its own publisher putting out like three other high profile games both before and after it. As such, this game will most likely be remembered by people thinking back to E3 2018 and going “whatever happened to that really cool mech combat game?”, and by people who did play it for the weird crossover DLC like Code Geass and The Witcher 3.

The Most Overrated Game of the Year Award

Tales of Vesperia: Definitive Edition. Yuri Vesperia is every bit as good a character as people said he was, but if this is the peak of the “Tales” series, it’s decidedly not for me. It was honestly kind of upsetting to see that this game occupied one of my “most-played” slots on Nintendo’s "Year in Review” page instead of Valkyria Chronicles 4.

The Least Overrated Game of the Year Award

A Hat in Time. A lot of the praise I saw for this game came from people who were disappointed with Super Mario Odyssey back in 2017, and as someone who gleefully played Odyssey like five times in a row, I figured it wouldn’t resonate with me in the same way, but it’s every bit as good as people said it was. The base game was perfectly satisfying on its own, but it was an absolute treat to see how well both the Seal the Deal and Nyakuza Metro DLC turned out and how much better Gears for Breakfast got with every aspect of the game over time. The only genuine problem I have with it are the technical issues present in the Switch port, the most severe of which have been patched out at this point, and while it’s still not the optimal way to play, the issues with Hat’s Switch port didn’t really impede my enjoyment at all. Speaking of which...

The Be Careful What You Wish For Award

Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night. I really love the Switch both in concept and execution, and up until August of this year I was adamant that all but the most technically demanding games should try to put out a Switch port. That’s changed thanks to the Switch port of Bloodstained: it was goddamn near unplayable at launch, and even with the multiple-month-delayed SUPER PATCH, I still encountered an unacceptable number of crashes and atrocious visual glitches while dealing with a compromised-under-the-best-possible-circumstances version of the game. It was so bad I genuinely considered stopping near the end to restart on the PC version, but I soldiered on. It’s a shame too, because in terms of actual content, Bloodstained is a success story on par with A Hat in Time or Shovel Knight, but it’s gonna be a while before I give a better optimized version of the game a whirl.

The Returning Champion Award

Capcom. The four-hit combo of RE2make, Devil May Cry 5, Monster Hunter World: Iceborne, and the announcement of RE3make to close out the year following the kickoff of the Mega Man Apology Tour in 2018 firmly cements Capcom as being back after what felt like a full decade of mediocrity and disappointment across the board. Square-Enix gave them a run for their money here between Kingdom Hearts III, Dragon Quest Builders 2, Dragon Quest XI S, and Collection of Mana, but barring THE BLUNDER OF THE DECADE I think they’ve got this particular award in the bag for 2020.

The Dropped Ball Award

Super Mario Maker 2. I actually didn’t care all that much about no local multiplayer, but between that and the online multiplayer being offensively broken in terms of how awful the lag was, it seems like Nintendo let what should’ve been an evergreen Switch title flop to the ground and start gasping for air. Either that, or the original Super Mario Maker only succeeded because there was so little else to do with a Wii U. Granted, the recent Zelda update is super neat, but coming a full six months after launch with almost no fanfare when other Switch games like Splatoon 2, Mario Tennis Aces, and even Arms had more consistent post-launch support is such a strange and bad look.

The Stuck Landing Award

Shovel Knight: Treasure Trove. After six and a half years, Shovel Knight has delivered on all of its Kickstarter campaign promises, and while the original game and the Plague of Shadows campaign were excellent, Specter of Torment, King of Cards, and Shovel Knight Showdown all went far above and beyond what people were expecting of Yacht Club Games by creating new stages with remixed music, wildly divergent gameplay mechanics, a fully fleshed out card game, and a Smash Bros.-tier multiplayer game. It’s the only game I can think of in my entire history of playing video games where the price has gone up over time and I’ve found myself nodding in agreement.

The Still Good One Year Later After The Hype Has Faded Award

Mega Man 11. Still excellent!

The Achievements In Localization Award

Another tight race, this time between Collection of Mana in recognition of Square-Enix deciding to localize a 23 year old game from scratch when a total remake is coming out in less than a year’s time, Judgment for having two separate scripts for the English dub and the Japanese dub’s subtitles, and Trails of Cold Steel III for NISA doing a genuinely terrific job that had no obvious cut corners in a game with this much text that was consistent with the naming conventions established by an entirely different localization company, even hiring back like 99% of the other company’s voice cast. Despite all of that praise for NISA, this one goes to Judgment for what I hope will become a standard in the industry.

The Worst Ending and Voice Acting Award

While I appreciate how committed to the joke WayForward was, the ending of River City Girls gets worse the further away I get from it, especially since they could’ve actually alleviated so many problems with one extra line of dialogue from Hasebe and/or Mami about how they were the ones who “abducted” Kunio and Riki (by sending them to the spa) and that they also sent the text that kicks of the plot just to fuck with Misako and Kyoko. Also: in general, don’t hire e-celebs to do voicework for your project if they are not actual voice actors, either by trade or by aspiration. At least most of them were kept to shopkeeper cameos, but I’ll never understand the decision to cast Big Capital-“Oi” Irish Brogue Jacksepticeye as recurring character Godai other than “CLOUT PLEASE”.

The Best Ending and Voice Acting Award

Dragon Quest XI S. This game should be front and center when conversations come up about having to earn a happy ending, because the ending you get when the credits roll is perfectly satisfactory... but you can do better. And not only can you do better, you can get what is effectively the most perfect ending that can be in the entire history of Dragon Quest as a gaming franchise, which sounds like a dramatic overstatement until you see it. And, to contrast the previous award, I really appreciate how DQXI’s voice cast didn’t include anyone I was familiar with and thus I never had the experience of “oh shit it’s x from y”, but this award exists in particular for Serena’s voice actress, Jessica Clark, and her reading of the line “I hate to ask, but would you mind awfully not going anywhere for a little while? I think I’m going to cry...”

The Most Wrong I Ever Was About A Story Award

Final Fantasy VIII Remastered. For years, I thoughtlessly regurgitated the opinion that “parts of FF8 are good, but it’s definitely a bad game with a lame romance and Squall is a terrible protagonist” based on the memory of playing the demo as a child and enjoying it, but seeing the internet at large bash it without mercy. I was wrong, because not only is it not bad, the central romance is totally compelling and Squall has become my favorite Final Fantasy protagonist, in the very same year that I finally also played Final Fantasy VII and came to terms with the fact that Cloud has been good all along, actually.

The 2019 Was A Ridiculously Good Year For Games In General Because I Didn’t Actually Play It That Much Despite The First Game Being My GOTY 2016 And This Game Is An Improvement In Every Single Possible Way Award

Dragon Quest Builders 2. I cannot believe how little of DQB2 I’ve played! And it’s so good!