#i actually dont want to get reminded too much of what is gg to happen in s2

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

putting down my scattered thoughts for where i would like season 2 of the webtoon to end 🤔

season 1 ended with the cotton candy scene, webnovel 51 and webtoon 42. s2 is currently at the slime dungeon, which is webnovel 61 but webtoon 52. the webtoon condensed hearthfenrir punishing the golden ivory tower (ch 46-49) into like 2 panels and condensed/skipped a few other minor scenes. i never actually read all the early chapters, so idk if the 10 chapter/episode gap is because even more entire chapters got skipped. if it is, then it means that the adaptation speed is roughly 1:1 except for when entire portions get cut.

if we take s2 to also be ~40 episodes, we might hit episode 80+? assuming a 1:1 adapation speed, it would mean webnovel 100+. and if some portions get chopped (maybe some sections of floor 299 and some others) maybe we can even hit webnovel ch 110?? idk if that area will be a good spot to stop though.

the week of regressions is at webnovel 77, while greenwalle starts at ch 82. narratively speaking, the start of greenwalle would be a nice place to start s3, except that i think the webtoon readers might get a little upset about still being stuck in the tutorial period orz. unless floor 300 is just that well done?? idk. actually i think floor 300 would work well as the central arc for this season, just like the toy mansion was. i just want to see post-regression tesilid though 😔

harpy queen is 87-91 and pandora's is ch 91-98. personally i think it would be nice if they could include greenwalle and a little bit after. just to smack all of us silly with the huge gap between tutorial tesilid and post-regression tesilid. i think casual webtoon readers would have forgotten how optimistic and well-meaning baby tesilid was by the time season 3 rolls over, so greenwalle wouldn't hit as hard.

stopping at the end of pandora's would also mean adapting 40 chapters, so i guess maybe they don't need to cut too many scenes? i also don't think it would be a good idea to include much past pandora's. the vatican arc is a liiiiitle bit long. there's the whole setup period, then the snow queen dungeon, then everything keeps snowballing into the magic republic arc and we only get space to breathe again at ch 128 when ailette blacks out. which is also a cliffhanger itself.

greenwalle being in s2 on its own would be a bit of a let-down i think because iirc nothing really happens there, we just meet reed and tesilid wakes up and barely talks. harpy queen arc very clearly shows how much more cold-hearted tesilid has become, which is great for making us all cry, but idk i think pandora's is a cooler place to stop? harpy queen ends with "how is tesilid going to sacrifice himself to regain powers without dying", which is a nice cliffhanger but i think it's not appropriate for a season finale - the stakes are too high. pandora's ends with them entering the vatican, which is a whole new stage of their lives so i think it's a nice spot for s3 to pick up.

[shijiujun]

this is very random but i’m feeling kind of frustrated/confused now and i truly regard you as fandom jiejie so i would like to rant a bit and seek your advice(?) recently, i found out that i got blocked by another tumblr that’s quite popular in the cql fandom for creating gifs etc. i don’t know who the person is and have never interacted with the blog; i only found out because i couldn’t reblog the person’s post (which i saw on my feed because someone i followed reblogged it). i was curious why but i realized that the person is probably against mxtx/danmei books etc, which i sometimes post about, for i guess homophobic/fetishizing reasons? but i’ve never followed or interacted so i’m really not sure why i got “noticed” like that. anyway, like i respect the person’s choices and rights to block people, but i haven’t been in the fandom for long and basically never encountered something like this before, so i’m slightly bothered by it. i’m guessing it’s quite common and i know i should probably just ignore/avoid the person (since they blocked me anyway) but i’m too easily affected. how do you usually deal with people like that? thank you.

oh oh hi! hahaha damn am i fandom jiejie?!?!?! sarah is my fandom jiejie ;-; 

anyway oomph sorry you found out about the block from that specific person and are feeling terrible about it! not easy to realize you’re blocked by someone

ehhh actually there can be a few reasons why ppl block i mean in general:

1. it could be an accident, tumblr fucks up q regularly

2. users have beef against each other (unavoidable, i mean we’re placing a lot of opinionated ppl squeezed into a room)

3. you just dont wanna see their stuff or opinions on your blog - i mean this is very understandable, whether out of like genuine like damn this is really not content i wanna see or i really hate the subject matter - both ways go and unfortunately-

unfortunately, it’s all part and parcel of being on social media and on an online space! i know this is hard to hear but everyone escapes to their blogs or accounts right and especially on tumblr where everything is slightly more curated, people create their blogs and create content for mostly themselves first - and we all do things to make sure our dashes stay the way we want them to look 

i for one use the block button very liberally - sometimes just because i disagree with someone and feel that there is just no way i can see their further posts on the matter, or you know, when i get triggered with pet peeves hahahaa sadly i am that kind of person XD i come onto my blog to be happy, and if anything makes me the slightest bit annoyed/uncomfortable, i don’t feel guilty at all about using the button 

i’ve also blocked for my own sanity for e.g. if a blog i see keeps reblogging the same post in the span of 48 hours (talking about like more than five times, and i’m personally totally okay if it’s a timezone reblog for fics or psas or infos!) for notes i mean, their blog, they can do whatever they want and i am in no place to judge, but it made me really competitive and i felt like it was really toxic to keep staring at notes so i blocked for my own sake because i have zero impulse control

and sometimes it’s personal, sometimes it’s not! in your case i think it may help? idk, because these things are stressful and i don’t deal well with like anger HAHAHAHA:

1. don’t take it personally and don’t think too much about it or about why or what you posted that could have made them block you - this blog is for you. and the ppl who follow you in a sense, so if anyone is unhappy that’s on them to block etc. - and don’t think about you getting ‘noticed’, posts turn up in searches all the time as well and it could just have been a particular post 

2. blocking in my opinion is so much better than the user coming to fight with you via anon or rallying other ppl to bully you for your posts online - trust me, this gets ugly, and if it ever happens you’ll wish they used the block button instead - we should be happy there’s a block button! in fact i’d like a mute button like on twitter - i like this blog but this blog’s posts for now idw to see but i still like their overall stuff just not during this period when this bij is gg mad over shan he ling (i’m talking about others when thinking about me btw HAHAHAHA) - blocking is like “i reject you but politely tyvm” rather than “here’s why i rejected you and you must hear all the reasons and i will add more once you fight back”

yep, not pleasant at all

*also gonna take the opportunity to remind peeps to pls block me if your other alternative is to sneak into my ask box for a fight or write a vague personal post hating on me tyvm, 慢走不送*

3. we can’t please everybody!!! idk either ppl ignore me, or at least half of them may have blocked me - i dont blame em hahahaa i do get into ask fights when anons especially come into my ask box looking for one HAHAHA - i mean, i use the block, can’t expect others not to, but just have to get used to ppl just blocking i think!

4. of course if a blog i follow and like blocked me i’d definitely be sad but... what can you or i do? 

5. all content is fine as long as it’s made with thought i feel - all opinions are good as long as they are made with thought and also you and i for that matter are able to stand behind it when someone comes knocking so like obviously if something hurtful is said, then the following angry responses may be expected, but also if you’ve put thought into your posts (i don’t mean like thought THOUGHT but more like when u post anything that can be controversial for e.g. or could potentially be hurtful it’s always good to kind of adjust a little before posting anything) then you should just stand behind your own posts and be who you are online

6. it’s too much to speculate on why ppl do anything, just blog and be happy :DDD

[mellz117]

Hello and welcome to the start of Mellz Plays Kingdom Hearts Re:CoM on the Playstation 2; Riku’s campaign

If you haven’t seen my thoughts on Sora’s story, why not start with Part 1? For the 5 of you who’ve been following along since then, welcome back! Check out the rest under the read more! I’m playing on standard difficulty so if I’m having a hard time, I just suck.

So we, as Riku wake up in the basement of Castle Oblivion. How did he get there? Sora just waltzed in like it was no big deal. Riku has to materialize in a cold basement and be woken up by the disembodied voice of an all too familiar bastard… Who has a new voice.

Thanks for the card, voice of Ansem, “Seeker of Darkness”. That ain’t him. It’s been almost 10 years and I don’t remember much of this game but I know that new Richard Epcar voice ain’t Ansem.

Riku’s got no time to waste, he’s a man on a mission.

So we get a melancholy scene with Riku happening upon the room Maleficent gave him during his association with her in the first game. Memories he’d rather forget.

After progressing a bit, the disembodied voice returns once again to taunt Riku. “You cast aside your home, your friends, the darkness. What else do you have? Nothing. Your heart is as empty as your old room.”

It’s so weird playing as Riku but I hope we get more of that beyond KH3 (ReMind hasn’t released at the time of writing this)

Alot of this game so far has been me saying “I don’t remember this”… …So I don’t remember Riku’s level up system being this different to Sora’s.

…well that’s bullshit. I vaguely remember that. The fact that I can’t even edit the order my cards appear to me in battle is even more bullshit. I like to organize my cards by type and value until I’m forced to use a different method.

So I dont have to wait for the reload gauge to count down, it’s immediate and I dont lose a card on every reload like I thought I remembered… What’s the catch? I don’t trust like that.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

We meet up with Maleficent at the end of the map. She’s 100% aware she’s a figment of Riku’s memory. Riku is none too pleased to see her.

I love his sass

Riku’s ready to kick the asses of everyone corrupted by darkness, including his own, he says. Time for a dragon fight because otherwise Maleficent isn’t a threat apparently lmao. I don’t think the mcguffen card even showed up.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Oh look it’s that asshole. Or is it? Dun dun dunnnnn. God his lips look soft. Why was this necessary???

So who has dominion over this castle? Marluxia, or Ansem?

This fucker is like “Sonny, you couldn’t even win against Sora. You don’t stand a chance against me”.

You have a teenager lying on the ground... Please reword your demands.

Oh my god it’s Mickey Mouse! well… sort of. He’s a bright light. Gives Riku some nice words to keep him going.

Knowing what I know now about the Guardian heartless bro, everything is so much worse…

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Ooh first scene with the boys in the dark room. “Don’t I even warrant a hello, Lexaeus?” I don’t remember seeing this as funny before but now, like 10 years later I appreciate how funny it truly is. Zexion sounds so insulted.. Lexaeus is a man of few words. Then Vexen shows up and he’s getting right down to business. Zexion’s like “Nice to see you too. We all used to be so close, what happened?”

Vexen’s all offended about that and gets pissy about “rank this, rank that, ooh I’m number 4, you shrimpy child.” as if your number indicated rank. Xigbar is the 2nd member but Xemnas’s 2nd in command is Saix (from my understanding) so sit your ass down, Vex.

So Zexion’s special talent? He smells people.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Riku smells people too?. Oh ok he can smell the darkness in his skin. Take a shower! …When was the last time he even got the opportunity?

Mickey appears before him and tells him some words of encouragement. He’s transparent because he can’t fully manifest in the castle right now. So where’s the other 50% opacity hanging out at?

“We shook hands in our hearts” omg… 

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Let’s go to Neverland first yay. I did a team attack with Mickey. I remember that!

Imagine being in Riku’s stupid, dumb, giant, anime boy shoes… addressing a giant, bipedal mouse as “Your Majesty”……….. Actually my sister and I used to do that back in the day when we both were obsessed with the series. Regardless of context we’d call him “King Mickey”. It makes me cringe thinking back on it.

Oh I was gonna try to challenge myself to avoid using the dark power but I guess I dont have a choice but to use it. Might as well put points into it if that’s the case.

uses Key to Beginnings, is immediately thrown into a battle with Captain Hook oh I guess we’re not focusing on any events in these worlds they’re literally just to pad out Riku’s story. Riku is officially less Disney than Sora.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

How does Zexy know who Riku is? “Riku is here because Sora is here”. Vex that makes zero sense. What else is new?

Agrabah. Uneventful. Riku is not good at hitting small targets. Had a hell of a time fighting Jafar, or rather beating Iago to a pulp, in comparison to playing as Sora.

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Next scene, and immediately like NO breath between the fade in and the scene itself, Vexen appears. And in even less time after he appears, “I take it you’re Riku?” This mofo has no time to waste. He’s a busy man.

Riku’s already tired of his bullshit and is ready to FIGHT. Same, Riku. Same.

I had him stun locked during most of this battle.

I JUST LOVE RIKU’S COMPLETE LACK OF FUCKS GIVEN HE’LL BEAT VEXEN’S SHIELD WITH HIS FISTS AND POMMEL

Vexen is a fucking twerp. And seems alot more crazy, mad scientist-y when interacting with Riku than Sora. Emphasis on “mad”. He cray

Why do they hang out in the dark? I mean, why no lamps? All I can imagine is them hanging out and barely able to actually see each other. The only way anyone knows who’s there is because Zexion can smell people, everyone else just assumes Lexaeus is there, Vexen won’t shut up about something something science, and Axel likes to hear himself talk.

Fat boi

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Zexion and Lexaeus are talking about what’s going on,  I’m still not sure what they’re doing here. Like, do they want Sora for the Organization? But Marluxia wants Sora as his personal puppet? What about Roxas? Isn’t he like, in a coma or something? Just kill Sora, Roxas will wake up, and SOMEONE’S got a Keyblade wielder again. Lex says Vexen hates Marluxia and things with the replica could turn out disastrously because of it. What IS Vexen’s beef with Marly?

Ok I know it’s to pad out a second campaign but why does Riku go to SORA’S memory worlds? Unless Riku stalked him throughout the entirety of KH1, or had so visit them for darkness missions, and those are his memories as well? Idk, it doesn’t have to be explicitly stated

Oh no Riku, it’s you.

So at this point he’s aware hes a copy? Does he forget later? With Namine’s meddling? How does Vexen create a living, breathing entity out of battle data? Like, where did the body come from? Did he have it on standby for a while until the right moment?

“You’re afraid of the dark” Repliku states.. Lmao yeah, Riku- he still sleeps with a night light. Don’t tell Sora.

Repliku is like, a worse Riku as far as personality goes. The punk-ass bitch Riku from KH1 but worse. Repliku is quick to ditch the double pants with suspenders and ankle belts for a muscle suit and grass skirt. I’m not sure which one’s worse.

FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! I got two level ups out of that!

I high key love Repliku’s laugh here when Riku tries to attacks him again RIGHT AFTER THEIR FIGHT. It’s adorable, hilarious, and creepy. GG David Gallagher! Check out that video if you want. [video]

Dutch angles make everything more dramatic. Unofficial rule no. 1 of cinema. Repliku peaces out and we give chase up another flight of stairs and another cutscene plays. Repliku joins Zexion, Lexaeus, and Vexen in the dark room and they talk about introducing him to Sora.

Riku finds himself alone on the next floor, yelling at empty air. Ansem shows up to taunt Riku again. This dude just doesn’t quit. God forbid he learns no means go the fuck away.

……��……………………………………………………………………………………

Oh hey we’re in Atlantica! Maybe Riku can wash that darkness smell off his skin. Oh wait the water doesn’t really exist. And hes just a human, not swimming like a mermaid. Give me mer-Riku, you cowards. Twiggy mer-Sora is funny, twiggy mer-Riku with buff arms would be HYSTERICAL. I had a difficult time with Ursula because poor card management and I’m avoiding battles to get this game over with, which kinda shoots me in the foot as I’m not leveling up.

Yeah I was right, he ends up thinking HE’S Riku. I honestly feel bad for the guy… he’s so scared and betrayed. I know I was shit talking him just a bit ago but I need to protect Repliku. [video]

……………………………………………………………………………………………

Give Riku a Halloween Town outfit, you cowards.

This scene between Repliku and Namine is so bittersweet. [video] Just listen to how gentle he talks to Namine. Oh, my heart cannot handle it.

This game makes me so sad. Poor Repliku, poor Namine… Larxene continues to be The Worst. Like, the ABSOLUTE worst. Was Elrena like this?

(I keep getting progressively more and more angry because I can’t upload a video file to this on desktop but I can on mobile, but if I post a video on mobile I can’t edit a read more on desktop. AND I HAVE THREE VIDEOS I WANT TO PUT IN. SO I MADE A BLOG SPECIFICALLY SO I CAN POST THEM THERE AND LINK THEM HERE)

See you in part 2, where I will continue to drag Larxene.

[gayregis]

OK first episode reactions

OHHH that was THE KIKIMORE............... im glad we get to see the fight because i mean. i would want some money for doing that crazy shit too. also you noticed how he killed the deer because he was probably starving. 

the moment of hesitation before he enters the tavern......... OK... [jaskier or yennefer voice] dont you just wanna stroke his gross dirty white hair

wait the uhhhh... “tavern scene” occurs in the witcher right, so i dont have to be scared bc this is the lesser evil, right, right, maybe not, idk what theyre switching around

the fucking cease of noise as geralt walks in.... the MOOD

cavill is like way too fine to be playing geralt rn i mean this shot where he says point me to the aldermans house is really showing off his profile. i feel sympathetic for this pretty pretty man

oh im regretting not rereading the lesser evil right now. i cant remember WHAT the fuck happens in that story. he goes to stregobor first though right??? right? he meets with the alderman and the dude’s like nah you cant get shit for that kikimore head, but maybe this wizard will give ya smth

my lesbianisms thinking renfri is pretty VS my morality knowing what shes like VS my witcher fan knowing what the hell happens in this story.... fight

WHY DID YOU HAVE TO MAKE RENFRI SO PRETTY!!!!!!! shes SO pretty and cute..... yall are making me like her fuck you fuck you SO hard.

the voice acting is sending me kind of... this is actually a good geralt voice imo if you dont mind me saying that. i still prefer polish tw3 dub but this is actually better than fuckin delvin mallory in the audiobooks. no disrespect, peter kenny, you did dandelion and yennefer and the hansa well, but geralt..... hm....

okay jk actually i need more geralt lines in order to develop my thoughts on his voice. ill wait until edge of the world where he SHOULD be more talkative

are we really going to stregobor’s fucking tower where a naked woman illusion waits on him and he offers to give geralt a go at this basically fuck doll illusion

“where are you from, geralt?” “rivia.” SURE.... YOU LIAR...... liar .... just WAIT until baptism of fire oooohhh just you wait

also this girl marilka is so sweet, also makes me think because milva said she was called that by some. but thats why she changed her name to milva

“because girls cant be witchers right” OK you reminded me 50% of ciri but now youre literally just proto-ciri

oh.... no foolery with the magic door knocker?

YEP I WAS RIGHT WE GOT NAKED LADIES!

wow this exactly what i pictured the inside of stregobor’s tower to be like lmaooo

WHY DOESNT GERALT KNOW STREGOBOR???????

oh its so weird to see ciri like. like old at cintra you know what im saying . like im like wait wait how is she alive if geralt hasnt been there as ravix yet. not BAD just weird for me

“speak normally” this reminds me of in bounds of reason dandelions like should i give the account in verse or in prose and then he starts speaking with the most flowery prose and geralts like PROSE prose please

“if you had been alive during falkas rebellion” please dont mention falka already we’re moving too fast soon enough leo fucking bonhart will be at our heels!

“and she possesses the power to destroy us all” “i dont believe anyone has that power.” WAIT UNTIL YOU MEET YOUR DAUGHTER DUDE LOL

wow he’s really full body dressed in black leather. huh . and people say hes heterosexual fml

okay i thought them calling the girls “girl” was kinda tender in the series but now its even more tender when heard aloud.

eist is like really present here and i like him enough its just that calanthe was like way more important than him in the series though right

“it needs to rhyme” and “pretty ballads hide bastard truths” so are we really just stealing every clever word that jaskier can say before he even comes into it

LOL CIRI LESBIAN LIKE WE DIDNT EVEN HAVE TO GET TO ANY OF THE OTHER BOOKS..... she said BEGONE HET!

OH I LOVE HOW THEY CONTEXTUALIZE IT SO WE KNOW THIS SHIT IS TAKING PLACE IN THE PAST..... WOW GERALT IS OLD AS HELL LMAOOOOOOOOOOOO  calanthe was like 14 then right so LOLLLL GERALTS OLD AND TIRED lol

me: is a regis fan / also me: GERALT IS A SHITTY OLD BITCH LMAOO

uh oh spaghettios! its nilfgaard and one of their fun funky officers, son of ceallach! i havent seen him yet but im terrified anyways!

okay see this is how you do a  PROPER adaptation. calanthe in the books committed suicide so she wouldnt be r*ped right as she sat in a stupid castle but this calanthe is on the fucking battlefield. this is why we stan middle aged women

eist: [dies] me: AAAAAA cahir: [is there Waiting] (i think its him maybe) me: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ah fuck ah fuck fuck

ciri: why [is nilfgaard attacking] ? calanthe knowing DAMN WELL stupid fucking duny is her dad: uhHHhhHhH idk lol

“you will rule this land someday” nope again! [thinks about lady of the lake] nope and nope!

ciri’s “are you dying?” to calanthe on her deathbed is the new “was he human” yennefer asking if regis (as a giant fucking bat) was human

i love how looongggg these episodes areee omgg

but also i always thought of the fall of cintra as something you know like. it happened in two shakes, cahir kinda just took ciri up by her underarms (like longcat) and left

OHHHH THEY IMPROVED THIS SCENE SO MUCH I WAS HOPING WE’D GET THIS OMG OMG BUT INSTEAD OF TELLING SOME YOUNG GIRL WHICH HAD WEIRD KINDA GROSS CHEMISTRY WITH HIM ROAVCH GETS TO HEAR IT!!! THIS IS HOW YOU DO AN ADAPTATION YAYY

renfri: who were you talking to? geralt: .. my horse.......... all of the fans: [dialing 1-800-TROUBADOUR immediately]

ugh i really thought they were gonna adapt the sex between renfri and geralt out. ugh ugh . too much heterosexuality

WHOA. HOLD THE FUCK UP. HOLD> HE FUCK UP. CALANTHE ADVISED CIRI TO TAKE MERCY. THATS LITERALLY FORESHADOWING FOR WHEN SHE CHOOSES NOT TO SLAY CAHIR AT THANEDD. WOW. WHAT THE FUCK WOW. WOW’

ciri you are gonna regret stalling so hard when mr. ceallach marches in. just saying. RUN.

CAHIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRR I ALMOST SCREAMED AND TORE MY STITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

uh.... ok...................... hm not what happened in the books.... where ciri is shot off in the midst of battle and crawls up next to a dead man and acts dead ........ lol cahir is even more evil now how is this possible i didnt think he could get MORE evil

[cahir voice] he deflected the arrow with his sword! ive never seen anything like it!

also have i said already that the cinematography is amazing. like the room where calanthe was on her deathbed.... that renfri dream was pretty cool too... just a lot of things are very pleasing to the eye

due to a injury in the carotid artery blood would be gushing everywhere. also is she prophecizing ciri? stop this there are already so many women in the witcher universe that give prophecy. theres like the girl in baptism of fire, ciri, everyone in ciri’s bloodline, and now renfri?

LOOOOLLLL THE HORSE

cahir: nice, GG guys, im gonna go get that cool promotion now, this will be epic, my mom will be SO proud of me-- ciri: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA cahir: OH FUUUUCKKK

well that’s MUCH MORE of a report to file with your superior officers! “yeah so the girl fucking opened up a hole in the earth” instead of “ahh idk i fell asleep and when i woke up she wasnt there :/” .... cahir really is not getting that promotion now, huh

okay yall can say whatever you want about cavill as geralt but when he said “do not touch her” and moved his mouth like that? oh geraltisms.

this is a really nice episode i like how it just went into the action i wasnt convinced at first but ah this is quite nice. i like how it has JUST geralt and ciri in it and later yennefer will come in as her mom. renfri prophecizing was actually pretty ok, at first i thought i wouldnt like the change, but it makes it easier to digest for television. i like how they really emphasize that geralt is hated to all hell, and that ciri is powerful yet still babie. this is a good portrayal of both of them in these stages of their lives you know what im saying. also is cahir gonna chase ciri now for those Good Boy Black Rider points? bc there were shots of him in a forest. ah well whatever lets move to the next episode

[sh-lan]

last winter quarter mumbles...

First day of winter quarter: Only one class! #yas #nolab Also secret santa with the house! The circle: Me -> yuri -> vania -> leighton! Also i think i’m sick… EDIT: I AM SICK FUUU

cogs 187b - random groups pls kill me side note, there’s this guy that looks like jeff and i keep thinking that it’s him but it’s not so it’s super awkward when i stare just 0.1 seconds too long

damn what a wild morning i literally. cannot. with. my. body. this. first. week. #mlkday EDIT: in case i forget, i had like the worst case of food poisoning i have ever had in my life

bruh like i basically had a 4 day weekend cause i’m hella fuckin weaksauce these first two weeks wot is life side note: retreat was fun! and also lake arrowhead that we’ve been going to? IS WHERE THEY GET ARROWHEAD WATER i’m deceased. today i learned

y’all i can’t believe bts is going to have a comeback in february also i can’t fckin believe that the army bomb v2 has its own teaser photo bighit is so extra

Omg i fucked up one of my eyebrows …time to grow it out and then get it fixed

i think i’ve literally been living under a rock how did i miss the fact that mom literally has THE BEST matcha latte ever on campus? wtf what a concept

I somehow managed to get a free trial for BTS channel+ 아싸! Things are starting to look uphill from here cause my ded self is risin’ Bless

8am on thursday of week 2 woke up at 7:20 by yuri - the time i was supposed to leave gg to the both of us for not waking up omg LOL we got to school late but that’s besides the point i should probably get some waterproof jeans or something lmao

when you don’t think your stomach is strong enough to handle coffee just yet but everything in mom smells hella fckin good

sometimes…why…can’t…you…think?!?!?!?!?! #struggles

OMFG army bomb v2 changes color everybody go home wtf this is great #goodbyemoney

missed the army bomb v2 preorder, got sold out cause we waited too long :< EDIT: OMFG I CHECKED THE ANAHEIM TICKET PAGE JUST FOR KICKS AFTER MY SHOWER AND THIS GURL WAS LIKE THE BOMB IS GOING IN AND OUT OF STOCK AND I WAS LIKE HAHA NO WAY. so i went to check it and OMFG IT WENT BACK IN STOCK SO I WAS LIKE OMFG VANIA DO WE DO IT and we did it and it has been done there is no going back this is happening we bought the army bomb lol and immediately after i preordered it, it went back to being temporarily out of stock again wow wot is life

Thursday week 2 I didnt realize i was awake since 7:20 today…my brain thought what happened this morning were events from yesterday

The rain is so real. Almost skipped discussion. Good thing i didnt :O

BTS comeback on feb 13th Preorder starts jan 25th Im fuckin ded i just bought the lightstick Im hollerin

fml both versions of the album are my aesthetic i want to cry

omfg why did tumblr change the tags into bolded font TERRIBLE

Lol omg i was gonna go to sleep but then someone logged onto the monsta x plus channel and i was like i wonder who it could be AND IT WAS KIHYUN so i stayed lul wot

내 미래를 향해 가 저 푸른 바다와 내 헤르츠를 믿어 Hey oh, oh hey oh yeah #rediscoveringlyrics #andfallinginlove

really debating getting the bts album(s) but i shouldn’t because money because i should pay for my trip because i should have priorities EDIT: i got them

omg i want to die i just sent out like 3 job applications with the wrong dates on the cover letter shoot me

this girl straight up braiding her hair in the seat infront of me but dropping her hair onto my laptop SMH

but like why doesn’t pokemon go work on my phone anymore?????

daily reminder to take one step at a time

been pampered by coffee on campus that starbucks taste real shitty

LUNAR NEW YEARRRRRRR #year2kbbq Lol omg so we decided to have a house dinner. And then we were like ok korean food and so we ended up deciding to go to kogi! So we were like it dun matter if we go to happy hour since it happens after 9pm but lol we got there around 8:20 but ended up waiting until like 9:30 anywayssss. Dinner was so great i ate so much meat tbh i dont even know whether or not i need to eat tmr LOL Then we drove home at like 11:30…and sat in our garage from 12 to 12:30 because we were too lazy to move from the car HAHA WHO R WE Also apparently, according to yuri and vania, we had the same waiter as last year and lel LEAVE IT TO US TO GIVE HIM HIS NEW YEAR GREETINGS HAHA. And here i am in bed with the biggest food coma. Let me end this with some season’s greetings lol 새해 복 많이 받으세요. 祝大家新年快樂！ 生體健康、學業進步、年年有餘、and most importantly 心想事成! ✨

I just got three bug bites on my ankle out of nowhere like???

after thinking long and hard, vania and i pre-ordered the albums today #goodbyemoney

why do i always find live streams for bts things at inopportune times??

i really still can’t get used to the way my vis60 professor lectures. she pauses at the weirdest times and emphasizes the most inopportune words… “i can think of. Perhaps - the most different. contrasts” ”the decisions. to make. something.” like…that is so hard to understand at 8am…

y’all i can’t wait to watch all the run BTS videos i’m so excited

Nervous about tomorrow but also excited about tomorrow I hope everything goes well! #interviewtime

bighit literally has no chill right now i thought concept 2 photos were going to come out a week later but then BAM IT HITS US IN THE FACE ONE DAY AFTER ANOTHER

2/2/2017 A day full of stufffs #praying #hoping #maybethingswillworkout Honestly, super thankful that my AB experience prepared me for group activities and on-spot presentations lOL (but like lowkey doe this one guy would have failed my group activity if he was interviewing for my trip smh) ALSO I MADE FRIENDS ;____; but i only managed to add one of them on fb, i should’ve added the other guy too *crying* but that’s ok. if fate has it, we’ll see each other again lel. EDIT: daily reminder that we fall down just to get back up

Bruh photography class got me like ??! CAUSE INCLEMENT WEATHER AND I SHOULDVE JUST TAKEN PHOTOS YESTERDAY I’M SUCH A NOOB

i made my own wintermelon tea and then my own wintermelon milk life is ok and going good

today yuri and i saw violin guy while we were sitting outside of ledden and i may or may not have freaked out too hard and he may or may not have noticed lol

watching hwarang and thinking wow park seo joon has come far since his dream high 2 days lololol

I saw a really cute ring on etsy Debated for a few days and …i bought it

I lost the little screw in my car key gg

Went hiking today with part of my group! It was lovely and 6 miles and now i’m tired hnngh

omg everyone park seo joon released his own version of that tears song for hwarang and it is like actually one of my favorite songs from the soundtrack HNNNGH

lowkey getting overly excited about hwarang ost fklewjafkelwa

This guy behind me straight up talking about how there’s some kind of apocalyptic event every century and how after each event, stability is restored. He was telling his friend to….create an apolyptic event right now to restore stability. I’m boutta flip a shit LOL WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT IT BETTER BE SOME FICTION NOVEL

Week 5 meeting MY AND HARRY’S FIRST FULL MEETING HOW EXCITING I LOVE IT

omg my professor is cancelling class on feb 14th and omfg BLESS NOT HAVING AN 8AM AND ALSO I CAN STREAM BTS CAUSE COMEBACK. LIFE IS GREAT. EDIT: no streaming because the first time they perform will be at the concert omg so shookt

not to be petty but i checked the revision history to see how much work my team members did and this one guy (who didn’t contribute last time either) did one slide and all he did was add the title somebody hold me back why do i always have teammates where i need to carry #hardcarry해 #smh

I fucked up by updating the messenger app smh

Finally got my tdap booster today It hurts Like an itchy mosquito bite Smh

y’all i was so shookt when i woke up to not today’s teaser OMFG JFKELAJFKELSJA IT’S GONNA BE LIT

I woke up at 7:30 on a sunday morning to watch the spring day music video and i’m so shookt by the edting and the song almost made me cry because lyrics And there’s the whole theory where they’re dedicating this song to the sewol accident and i just ;____;

그래 우리는 extra Omg i cant believe rapmon said that LOL SO ICONIC MY LIFE MOTTO FOR THE NEXT MONTH

when i first heard not today, i wasn’t really feeling it much since i feel like the teaser hella hyped it up but now i’m hella feeling it this is fire 2.0 LOL

ALICE CAME TO VISIT week 6 weekend Sushi ota on thursday night - BLESS NO MEETING HAHA Friday night bbq with the same waiter from lunar new year LOL he spoke to me in korean omg i almost forgot how to speak? Saturday morning cowles hike! And then….boba…and then ded Sunday didnt see alice ): but das ok i got to just rest and do a bit of hw

why 왜 為什麼 為何我做的事你也要跟著做 Side note. Why is the font size inconsistent for my chinese keyboard ???

Dont like the new gmail But it’s not actually new cause im just a noob for not updating Sigh

ARMY BOMBS HAVE SHIPPED. I REPEAT. ARMY BOMBS HAVE SHIPPED.

i had a dream that i was on a korean show or something and then i got assigned to sit next jungkook (omg it was like not up to me but then i was like holy shit holy shit?) and then we took a trip to the grocery store to get snacks? but like the thing i wanted was too high for me to reach so he grabbed it for me? but then somehow we ended up exchanging kkt somewhere in the grocery store lmfao what kind of dream is this but then his managers chased him down because he’s not supposed to do that or something? oh well LOL wut EDIT: who am i

i accidentally swallowed some toothpaste this morning

fml i just saw spoilers for hwarang EDIT: OMG SO DANGEROUS I ALMOST JUST SAW ANOTHER ONE AND NOW I CAN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. NEED TO UNFOLLOW THE TAG FOR NOW

han got me pizza and a shitton of parmesan bites for valentines day :> happy child

man holy shit ep18 of hwarang had too much shit i cannot process

omg i’m gonna die park seo joon is so cute in she was pretty

omfg i was JUST wondering if park seo joon would have to go to the military qq BUT HE ALREADY WENT!!!!!! side note: i told vania i was going to finish she was pretty in two days and i really finished it in two days…

Week 6 Thursday ARMY BOMB IS HERE! #yas in retrospect, should’ve just bought the albums from the official shop cause who knew they were paying for EMS cause dayum, my army bombs got here in 3 and ½ days. SHIET so excited it’s lit

Seventeen’s lightstick hands down the prettiest lightstick i ever seen omg

i need to stop this whole “treat yo self” mentality went to return pants to zara that cost 42.99 walked out of f21 with 42.09 worth of clothes lol wtf BUT THAT FREAKING 65% OFF ON TOP OF THE ALREADY MARKED DOWN PRICE? i got three things for $9.10 omg bless? but that one other jacket i got was 29.90 ): is it worth it? eh we’ll see however, i would’ve stayed if it weren’t for my yogurt in the car…and actually shopped a lot LOOOL it was so worth then i came out to a storming STORM GOD SO MUCH RAIN but now i’m home and dry and happy

i’m sitting here streaming the bts wings tour in seoul and getting highkey emotional it’s 1:30AM what is life when bangtan is life

WEEK 7 HAN CAME TO VISITSSSSSSS

unbelieveable han puts me on do not disturb on his laptop SMH

hello but can we talk about the not today mv HOLY SHIT not as fire as fire but still so JKLFJEKLSJF there are so many things in this mv that are just. omg i cant side note - i made han watch it with me LOL

tae and rapmon’s headband look jungkook’s pink highlights yoongi’s blue highlights what’s not to love

highly likely to go blind cause of vis 60

really been craving strawberry milk …and thai food

gonna give up sugary drinks until the end of this quarter *gasps* goodbye amazing tasting coffee drinks T^T

my arms are so sore from the spam musubi making fuuuuuuu

i forgot harry was only 19 and then i was like omfg jungkook is still only 19 too wut

thanks to jungkook, i have finally pinpointed one of my more or less favorite genres: tropical house…which han apparently doesn’t like LOL

Want 족발 Must go to grandma’s lunch on a weekday qq

Rewatching fire mv Why are they ironing jin at the behinning Suga has fake freckles? Why does 1thek have 5 million ads/links

Spam musubi and 8am got me so tired I went to sleep at 12am Why is it that when i go to sleep early, nothing happens in my social life and everything happens in bts life While when i sleep late, everything goes on in social life but nothing in bts life????

The world does feel really slow when you’re in a rush

dreading the photography critiques sigh

Stayed up to stream mcountdown because lol why not right? Even though i have an 8am…. NOT TODAY PERFORMANCE WAS SODIJWWJDIWK FUCKING JEON JUNGKOOK WINKING AT THE END HOW RUDE wtfbbq And also spring day choreography got me feeling some typa way? Shiet….maybe i can learn this…maybe ALSO ONG won that 1st place by a landslide WE ARE A FORCE TO BE RECKONED WITH y a s

Just realized that there’s no “winking” emoji without the kiss What even Also i just unconsciously winked at my phone while looking for the wink emoji… Imagine the possibilites of face detection to emoji translation. Texting would be so much faster #busthoughts

omfg i was like where am i gonna ever use my bts cd ON THE CAR DUHHHHH!!

REALLY DREADING GOING INTO REVIEW ON MONDAY BECAUSE PICTURES WERE NOT GOOD FOR PROJECT 3 want to crawl into a hole why didn’t i take this class p/np lmao who am i EDIT: everything is ok she actually didnt hate them

Feels so great to not do anythingg this weekend??? Omfg But yo i literally slept from 8pm till 10am almost 11 and if that doesnt scream me i dont know what else does

i bought a “day old” pastry from mom today and it’s an espresso mocha chocolate chip scone thingy and i’m in loveeee

waiting for packages from korea to come~ no EMS is sometimes a pain~ we’ve been too pampered by amazon prime~

Feeling a little discouraged BUT i’ll stay positive!

I mean I can technically go to those concerts in japan Technically

Omfg leave me forever incapable of closing my water bottles correctly? SMH PLS DONT

Found out that my photography TA is 26. Das like alice age And also her first phone was the peanut looking motorola LMFAO CAUSE ME TOO

봄이왔다~ 春天到了~ CAUSE IT’S MARCH AND THE WEATHER IS REALLY NICE and i’m, for some reason, in a really good mood. it could be the music but it could also be the weather ahhhh this feels nice :>

Omg my ring from etsy finally came!! GREETINGS FROM SPRING AMIRITE After a whole month ;___; it finally got here on march 2nd Ugh but it’s so nice and pretty i’m about to die And it really was made to order! That’s crazy. It’s so cute and adorable If only their stuff wasnt so expensive I would buy like everything

When the right volume for your music is right in between the button volumes so you gotta manually slide the thingy VERY carefully

OUR KOGI WAITER WE JUST SAW OUR KOGI WAITER AT PC OMFG

Issue night: “I dont know how they had time to come up with an acronym (USA PATRIOT) maybe they were in shock or something….(from 9/11)” LOL “Lowkey sus” - Abe [the babe]

cooked curry with everything today reaffirmed that i dont like carrots that much

Debating getting more rings on etsy HNNNNGH struggle is real

I saw a license plate the other day that said “NUTELLA” and the same “UOUOUOU” car parks in peterson all the time lol

Had a dream that i met jungkook while checking out the bts schedule with vania Like the schedule said that they just had a fan meeting and they were gonna walk around the area and their fans could follow them or soemthing And i was like shit but do i wanna do that and vania was tryna convince me…but i thought that there would be too many fans so… And then jungkook fckin pops outta nowhere and somehow we got talking and ended up somewhere? Like their dorm or something And we were just browsing through army pictures of them and whatnot And then he was being all kinds of diff “kook” where he was a fangirl kook…and then regular jungkook where he “kissed” me on the cheek it was weird Dont remember the rest cause i woke up LOL EDIT: i think i wrote this while still being half asleep please excuse my fangirl tendencies LOLOL

Omg the kettle cooked jalapeno chips are so good wtf Dangerous

want to watch hyungsik’s new drama but i shouldn’t i shouldn’t

jungkook’s look in the spring day dance version is so boyfriend i cant

oh yeah how did i completely forget to mention that my week 8 was pretty much entirely occupied by yuri on ice!! after freaking week 7 annoying ass shit with everything due that week wow what a struggle

rewatching haikyuu!!

I. AM. SO. EXCITED. TO. READ. AEOE. AHHHHHH if only i could find the third book of the series as well )): qq EDIT: TIFF FOUND IT. bless her soul

March 6th The one day i decide not to check the mail THE ALBUMS COME IN A PACKAGE BY THE FRONT DOOR VANIA CAME HOME AND WAS LIKE AHHHHHH it was definitely a “shut the front door” moment Also onfg we took forever going through the album and just freaking out Vania got rapmon and jungkook photocards While i got jhope and jungkook photocards In retrospect, it was shipping like on feb 20th and took only around 2 weeks to get here so i would say that was pretty damn great Ugh they’re so beautiful why We also got random photocards created by kpopmart so those were a nice gift! I put them on my wall and kept one in my card holder thingy LOL I also put up a standee on my desk Now where to put the posters 🤔 HA It was a nice surprise :>

Lmao the recruiter called me this morning at 8:30AM but our call was supposed to be at 11:30AM, i’m surprised i even woke up It’s a miracle i even stuttered through that phone screen #shetotallymissedthepart #whereiwrote #PST

Craving chocolate milk and i neglected to get that On the otherhand, i spent around 21 bucks at trader joes getting all the healthy foods that i love AND ALSO STRAWBERRY YOGURT O’S THAT WERE JUST MY AESTHETIC EDIT: ok but like not only were they aesthetically pleasing, they also taste great. also the fact that they’re just a bit fatter means that they’re crunchier and takes a lot longer to get soggy in milk im in love

You know what they say When you crave choco milk You been traveling through time and space

had a one on one with harry at k cuisine today definitely gonna find time to go back and eat more chicken glad harry wanted to eat korean chicken and i actually had a place in mind also they were playing so many kpop songs that i knew and all the goblin songs were getting me real emotional lmao

Hnngh they’re gonna sell merch at the bts wings concert What is gonna stop me from buying shit if there’s actually enough stock Im ded EDIT: jk i cant believe that official merchandise goes on sale on march 9th aka tmr because korea time and like wtf ok bighit just let our wallets die and wither away smh i cant

Gonna have to hold off on buying rings or not buying them at all because bts merch ;___;

omg but ?? the video that jungkook made yoongi was so damn cute? also…editing on point… EDIT: i would fall in love with editing because it’s the damn iphone 7 promotional video that apple made. wot is lifeeee omggg that was crazy (why don’t i keep up with current trends? where was i??)

lol watching all the wings md getting the little “temporarily out of stock” red sticker haha

JK got new piercings right where i wanted to get them please stop tempting me i already told my dad i wouldn’t ask again hnngh

omg i had thai food for the first time in forever~ (ok realistically like week 3 but like still)

all these photos from the concert im ded because how do people have the money to go to multiple concerts esp in different countries? (aka headliner…) tumblr is too distracting

i broke my comb that one weekend that leighton went to irvine…because i dropped it on the floor…i was, to say the least, shocked weekend before week 10, i finally bought a new comb lOL

GOT7 never ever thoughts Yugyeom’s voice hit me in the face Choreo at the beginning looks nice I dont know how i feel about the chorus doe Wait. Yugyeom cant happen to me because omfg jungkook but wait they’re such a killer bffl pair fml

new highlight song got me shookt because…..b2st will always be <3 in my heart esp yoseob’s vocals

i’m having another watch phase dammit

actually really like bap’s comeback this time side note: harry calls it “bap” like “bop” but with an A. LOL

Day of daylight savings Couldnt sleep Reading AEOE Didnt sleep til 5am And now skipping 101b What needs saving is obviously my body not the daylight

When you realize out all the current playlists made on spotify, your music taste is closest to jin’s LOL

Week 10 tuesday Broke my retainers D: EDIT: got an appt with an ortho because need to get them imprints before my teef get shifted but holy shit dude it’s $350 for one retainer im ded. And i called 4 different places and it just keeps going higher and higher im

sharing opinions in photography class is hard because i can’t words

GLOW. IN. THE. DARK. RETAINERS. #gottagetmoneysworth

do you ever do that thing on facebook where you’ll be like “i’ll just scroll to a place where a video stops playing” but then the moment the first video stops, another comes into the browser and starts playing oh wait oh my god THEY MUST HAVE BUILD THEIR PAGE TO BE RESPONSIVE TO THE SIZING OF THE WINDOW SO THAT THAT WOULD HAPPEN AND THUS IT WOULD KEEP PEOPLE SCROLLING ON FACEBOOK facebook is evil everyone

too loud -_-

Discovering a tiny mole on jungkook’s nose

i can’t believe i’m sick for the 3rd time this quarter body r u ok also…runny noses aren’t fun my nose is literally leaking can barely reach for a tissue in time smh

i just saw a spoiler for the run bts episodes -_- tumblr is never safe

It’s hard to believe that i’ll be leaving for my trip in 4 days It’s hard to also believe that after that, vania and i will be heading over to see bts Oh man This is exciting

Flood warnings in peru making me have high blood pressure #pleaseleteverythingbeok

my trip got cancelled i am in shock still

Im so numb I think im ready to pass out

I broke one of the little feet thingies on my charger…. SMH

I feel broken But Getting it back together Currently on do not disturb

lol.....gonna end this one on a somewhat sour note because that’s actually how the quarter ended. spring break was a week full of shit as well. however, it was also a week full of healing and self love - as much as i can give myself for that matter

so we’ll leave it here. last winter quarter of my college career - one of the most busy in terms of AB life and one for the books for all the shit that has happened. i really wish that #adversity won’t be associated with this forever but looks like it’ll be related to this for a while. lOL.

moving right along~ things I can look forward to: spring break mumbles, last quarter mumbles! #staysane #staypositive

[kyandice]

I HATE SCHOOL

Im just prolly writing all my thoughts I’m having everyday.

Smol print: This is a post which i might edit everyday if i have the time, and its technically a very cheesy dairy.

(10/01/2017)

Maybe i just cant study at all. My PEM is now teaching me a module this semester and he’s asking me to pay more attention during classes. Thing is, i dont even talk in class. I’ve been trying so hard to concentrate in class but i just dont understand any fucking thing. Seems like i failed CEP and Mr Herman wants to meet me after PEM class.

Lol, and i wanted to skip PEM class so Bryan doesnt have to wait that long for me. And lmao idk where i placed my contact lens (it wasnt even in my bag). Without my contact lens im not gg to Tkd training. I hope my lenses are somewhere at home PLEASE. It would take me another 2 weeks for me to get my contacts after ordering it.

Okay whatever, back to me not being able to concentrate in class. So yeah, i just dont understand anything and i end up staring into blank space or maybe start daydreaming. I think i failed Inorganic Chem and Math too. Idk im just worried for myself and my GPA. ok no, im mot worried about myself. Im more worried about me failing 2 or more modules and my PEM has to meet my parents, it’s gna be a disaster. Im so gna be fucked up. I just have no motivation for everything else.

Its really hard juggling a relationship, studies and CCAs too. Okay, for my situation, it isn’t really that bad. But maybe after a long run, im really worried that it might turn out bad someday. Im like typing this as I’m nearly breaking down in lecture and im holding myself so hard back to stop tearing up. Maybe im just too fucking paranoid, i think too much i just overthink too much and i hate it, it screws me up. People ask me what i would actually do if he starts getting cold again. Maybe I’ll miss him too much and start getting detached from everything and stop having the motivation to study or do anything in particular altogether. But for now, he’s always waiting for me for like hours just to spend the time with me after classes and i feel really, really fucking bad.

Anyways, U talked to me about his break up that happened a few months ago with J. And apparently, he lost feelings. But he also mentioned that J was really insecure as well, he had alot exes and yeah J was just alittle paranoid and insecure that U might just be playing. (idk why im like writing this maybe i just had to divert my mind somewhere else so i wouldnt cry in lecture) but yeah, U assured J that he was genuine and sincere but J was really guarded and apparently U was starting to get tired of assuring her. So she got paranoid and yea. Then U told me not to get too clingy and obsessive as he might get annoyed by it someday. He might think that it’s cute and sweet now, but someday he might get annoyed and U said that i wouldnt want someone to call me disgustingly clingy and obsessive after breaking up.

So yayyyy, im like really really really really happy these few weeks. He has been really extremellllyyyy sweet to me, he’s treating me really well too. He has been starting to say that he loves me like really constantly and its just reaaaaly reaaaaly sweet. And we had deep talks yay. Ive always suspected that he might some family issues as he always tried to avoid questions about them. But i never wanted to ask him like, i mean, if he wanted and was ready to tell me, he would have. So yay he finally told me idk i just wna hug him forever he’s so precious and vulnerable actually.

(okay fuck there was a 10min break i ran from chemical life science block to training ground and he wasnt there😭😭😭😭😭 so i ran back to science block i was like 1min late but class havent started so thank god. His phone has no battery and he has nothing to do for 2h maybe more cuz i have to meet PEM fuck i feel so bad i want to cry right now. He doesnt have his phone charger so he has nothing to do for 2h and there isnt anyone on training ground so he’ll be alone :(( no i feel fucking bad i want to cry so badly right now, i should’ve asked him to just go home. Now idk where he is im worried that he’s gna be very bored waiting for me fuck)

Gosh i think he went home already. But like if he went home shouldnt his phone have battery. Where is heeee :(( im so worried right now. Where could he actually beeeee :(((( okay imma hunt for him in school. He isnt at south and north canteen. Okay maybe library. He’s not at the library either. Okay maybe he went home and slept but didnt charge his phoneeee :/ shouldnt have asked him to wait for me. Should have just asked him to go home.

So yayyyyy he didnt went home, and actually waited for me. Okay thank god he wasnt alone, he was with raph and a few othr tkd ppl. I was so gna be worried that he might be alone with his phone battery flat, doing nothing. But i guess he was alrighttt.

I want a lip product. Idk lip tint, lipstick, liquid lipstick. idk i just want one. Like i want one red not those bright red, but like orangey lighter kind of shade red.

Fuck, my stye isnt curing. There’s like 2 styes in my left eye.Its sucks, it looks really ugly and digusting. I really hope it gets cured soon.

Apparently, Mr Lee asked Vincent about my bad grades. Lee asked vin like if he knows why my grades are like so bad. And Vin was like, oh, maybe becuz of r/s. But actually it isnt, i have been having bad grades since last sem. Idk i just have no motivation to do anything, i dont understand lectures and tutorials. All i want to do is to breakdown and cry in school everyday.

Okay, so about my contact lenses, it isnt at home. I just couldnt find it. Ive went through all my bags in my room for at least the 5th time already and still i cant find my contact lens. Guess ive lost it. I could have like worn it for another 2 months, god damn it. Now i have to order a new one, and wait for around 2-3weeks for my lens to arrive. 

Y’all might actually ask why i feel insecure without my contact lens. Okay yay let’s start. I might have or might have not mentioned about the guys in my secondary school but yeahhhhh. They are a bunch of idiots which i would probably hold a grudge on them forever. Yes i hold on to grudges pretty long. Apparently the guys in my class hated me so they’ve always teased me and idk i just hated them so much. Okay I dont wanna say that im bullied, it just sounds so weird and idk, i dont people to think that im making a fuss by calling them bullies. But yeah they laugh whenever i answer a teacher’s question, teased me for being ugly, insulted me for alot of things, laughed at me for alot of things too. But ever since i switched to contacts, people started treating me better. Okay, its stupid to think that with contacts, people will treat me better. Maybe, coincidentally the guys in my class have matured when i switched to contacts. So, ever since, i had this thought drilled into my mind that contacts made me look better, and people treat better looking people much better. I mean at first, i thought i was just being silly. Then i started to try things out. I was out with some gatherings from the cosplay community and yeah, they were all strangers. When i’m with my glasses, no one came to talk to me and i wasnt treated as well as when i was wearing my contact lens. When i wore my contact lens, more people were interested to talk to me, i had more attention from people and yeah, i was just treated so much better than i was wearing my glasses. It wasnt the first time something like this happened. I’ve tried many times to different group of strangers and it always seems that wearing contact lenses made people treat me better. It’s kinda silly and childish for me to think like this but ever since ive gotten contacts, i had it drilled in my mind that that it’s how people work. People treat you better when you are better looking. I also felt less insecure and much more confident about myself everytime i wore my contacts. And idk i’ve been depending on contacts ever since to boost up my super low self-esteem.

So If i dont wear contacts in front of you, that would probably mean either. 1) Im very comfortable with you, i trust you alot and i see no problem wearing just glasses and looking unglam in front of you. Or 2) you mean nothing to me, i dont care about you. Examples for 1) would be Roy, Vin ,Zane, Aloy, Alfie, Daina, Alicia. I mean i really trust Roy and the rest alot, they’re really good friends and they have seen me with glasses outside training before. Examples of 2) would be my classmates or just random people in the lecture hall. But for B, im like really comfortable and i trust him alot, but i also wna look good in front of him so i try to have my contacts on everytime i meet him.

So like many people keep asking why i quitted cosplay so here are the reasons. But lmao nobody knows my tumblr, im writing everything here just to rant stuff, nobody would even read it anyways. Actually i quit cosplay for a few reasons. I hate it when people used to remind me that i cosplay. Well, sure, i might have kept some pictures left of some certain cosplays. But that is because the picture taken was really nice and i really wna safekeep it. One reason was money lol. I dont have money to actually buy all the costumes and props and those bullshits are fucking expensive, its just seriously a waste of my precious money. Another reason was, it wasnt really socially acceptable, people find me weird, a creep,idk. I used to be really proud and optimistic about cosplaying since it’s actually a very special hobby, but i guess some things are really hard if people always tease you about cosplaying as it is not very socially acceptable. And since cosplaying also require alot makeup, i can cut down cost on my make up, so yayy i still can save more money.

Today with Bryan was just amazing.Okay everyday with him is just fking amazing. Apparently there wasnt any movie to watch because i might go over my curfew but yayyy we actually just sat down at the swing and just talked. Sounds typical, but he loves me when i cant love myself. He’s the best thing that could ever happen to me and maybe waiting for him was actually all really worth it. I’m really an insecure person and he always has to assure me that im beautiful, gorgeous and adorable to him. He’s really the most sweetest and romantic things ever and it’s just really extremely cute. Even i get annoyed everytime i feel insecure about myself. I Love Him sooooo much i would never want to lose him. Omg this is getting fucking cheesy HAHA.

Let’s talk about money. I’m in debt. I owe so many people money i feel really bad. I dont really wish to have squabbles with friends over money, like seriously, it’s fucking stupid. I want to stop borrowing from people, i dont want to make this into a really bad habit. 

i wanna cry so bad :(