#i actually am back in my crying in public era yehaawwwww
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i kinda gave up on myself for today my brain is kinda on the floor dying
#neg#🗒#my jaw hurts from clenching#it was a good call to actually have my silly time after my class#because if i poked myself with a stick the whole day then......#if im like this after 'fun' activities then lol#but also on the other hand i gotta get myself together#but also im really fucking bad today#i actually am back in my crying in public era yehaawwwww#i cried on my way to class :>#i dont know what the fuck is wrong with me. literally none of this should be this hard or overwhelming#feels like im coddling myself too much#but i genuinely cannot do this right now. but i should. ugh#im running out of time but actually no i still have time but actually no i shouldnt be too relaxed bc i will really run out of time then#u know. lol#i am so fucking tense it causes me painnnnn rn lol#god okay it's already almost midnight#i dont think forcing my brain around will do any good if it didnt work so far#try again tomorrow. god. i have so many things to do tho#god. god god god#and the worst part is i ran into a problem and i gotta mail the school abt it and like i fuckimg forgor it's christmas over there#so like. this wont even be resolved presumably until next week. i am so stupid why did i leave this to now#i have time until feb 1 technically but like. im gonna die screaming#i have too many open tabs in my brain already im gonna catch fire and run around screaming#it's fine tho. i really should be fine because i have so many little things to enjoy nowadays#but my brain just wont work. i dont even know what i just wrote. i feel so bad lol#anyway. anyway i shouldnt whine too much because truly it's not that bad. im just stupid and weak as always
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