#i absolutely havent wasted 9 hours on this chat

[joltachu]

tangerine man and his weird ass, purple XXXL dog!! (DAVESPORT DAVESPORT DAVESPO-)

click 4 better quality xD

[mithranqueersmusings]

Before This Dance Is Through V

Chapter: 5/16

Rating: M (Smut Warning)

Summary: Ringo's being going through a dry spell for the last year or so and when he regretfully tells his best friend John, he insists on taking them to an all-male strip club for some "fun". Ringo isn't sure whether it's the alcohol, his desperation or a mixture of the two but he thinks he might be falling in love with a stripper.

Tags: AU - Strippers, Modern Setting, Smut, Slow Burn

Pairings: George Harrison/Ringo Starr, John Lennon/Paul McCartney

AO3 link here / Fic masterlist here

Despite what John had suggested, Ringo didn't go back to The Helter Skelter the following week; he'd considered it when John sent him yet another late night text but ultimately decided it wasn't the best idea. Spike had been playing on his mind daily and Ringo wasn't sure he was prepared to face him again. Instead he focused on his drumming and searched for a few more students to teach, which were fairly easy to find. Usually Ringo enjoyed his time off, he understood he was lucky that he didn't have to work a 9-5 job just to get by, but recently he wanted his fill his time up as much as possible, to distract himself.

One of his new students seemed incredibly interested in him, they'd spent an hour just chatting in his living room before they'd even moved over to the drum kit. Ringo wasn't too fussed, he was getting paid by the hour so wasting time was beneficial to him but he didn't want to give the guy the wrong impression. He was a little bit older and attractive enough but Ringo simply wasn't interested.

"Why didn't you just go for it?" John had asked him when they next met up.

"I dunno..." Ringo mumbled, but a part of him knew very well.

He'd given the guy another lesson since then and it became clear that the guy's interest in him wasn't going away any time soon. Ringo felt bad about the whole thing, wasn't he just doing exactly what Spike was doing to him? He tried to act as professional as possible the second time around in attempt to get the guy to back off, considering he hadn't heard from him since he was hoping it had worked. What was wrong with him? Was he really going to make himself suffer like this all because of one guy? And not just any guy, a stripper who had shown absolutely no interest in him at all. It was ridiculous, he kept telling himself, but no matter how much he tried to convince himself that he had to get over Spike, he would still think about him every day without fail. Trying to distract himself with clients had been working somewhat, but it had been difficult, especially when his best friend was John Lennon.

       youre gonna love me

The text came through when Ringo was sat in a café getting some lunch. He'd finished with one of his younger students, a sweet girl who's parents had tried to convince her to try a more 'ladylike' instrument but she had promised only to give up the drums if she was awful; much to her delight, and Ringo's for being able to prove the stereotypical parents wrong, she was pretty good. Seeing her always put Ringo in a good mood, the parents mostly stayed away partly due to the noise but mostly due to disappointment, which meant they could joke around together. Ringo could tell she admired him and he welcomed it gladly, one of the best things about teaching was inspiring others, at least for him it was.

        do i not already?

        well yes         but youre gonna love me EVEN more

        what have you done

        well i happened to stop by the club last night

        oh god what did you do

        wow is that how little you trust me

        can you blame me

        suppose not         ANYWAY i got talking to paulie

        surprise surprise

        do you want the good news or not???

        fine fine sorry

        AS I WAS SAYING i was talking to paulie         and he told me that your special little someone has an onlyfans account

        first of all fuck you for calling him that         second of all wtf is onlyfans

        oh sorry i didnt realise you werent living in the 21st century

        ......         care to grace me with your knowledge?

        basically its a website where you can post exclusive stuff for ONLY FANS to see         its not a porn site or anything but its basically where people sell their nudes         MEANING spike has an account so you can totally see loads of raunchy filthy perverted pics of him

        but i have to pay?

        well weve all gotta make a living

        i can basically see him naked for free

        but this way you wont get all freaked out and embarrassed         well you will but nobody will know at least         so do you want the link or not???

Ringo paused for a few moments, he was gripping his phone tightly in both of his hands as he unblinkingly looked at John's words. If his mind was going to decide to make him suffer by enabling his intense interest in Spike, he may as well get something out of it.

        fine

        where are your manners richard??

        can i please have the link to the strippers nude photos please john please

        alright calm down         let me know if its worth while i might have a look

        idk if im even gonna look at it         paying for porn is a little dated

        treat yourself ringo         id offer to pay but im broke

        if youre broke why were you at the strip club last night?

        well SOMEONE had to go

        they really didnt

        im supporting my local economy

        i dont think thats how that works

        sure it is         anyway here you go

Ringo stared at the link for a while, his eyes even began to blur, he didn't want to risk opening it in public even though he knew there was little chance of anyone seeing. He finished his lunch in a hurry and headed home quickly, only when he was in the privacy of his bedroom did he dare open it. First he had to make an account, when he saw the screen loading up asking for an email address and password he just turned his screen off and put the phone down. This was far too much effort for something he shouldn't really have been doing in the first place. But it only took a few minutes for him to pick the phone back up and begin signing up, he used an old email as it felt less seedy that way and he didn't want to risk his name cropping up anywhere for Spike to see. Now he could load up the link properly and take a proper look at Spike's profile.

Just looking at the small profile picture was enough to startle Ringo a little, the dark eyes looking into the camera with that unreadable glimmer behind them. He was shirtless in the picture, Ringo wondered why that didn't catch his attention first, with the frame cutting off just before it showed anything too explicit. The header was a photo taken from the club, showing him in tight, leather pants and tassels on his nipples which matched the whip he held in his hand. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea. He'd spent so much time and effort trying not to think about this man, attempting to keep him out of his mind as much as possible. Ringo knew that if he went through with this all that progress would be lost, he'd be giving in to whatever strange obsession he'd developed for Spike, one that no doubt wasn't going to lead to anything good.

Ringo kept staring at the screen as though it was going to tell him what he should do. Spike's profile had no description, which wasn't very surprising, and it dashed any hope Ringo had of discovering something new about him. Right before he was about to put his phone down again, it vibrated.

        howd the wank go??

        john i dont care how long weve been friends asking how my wank was will always be weird

        youre right sorry         so how did it go???

        if you must know         i havent had a wank         i havent even paid for entry

        now whos the one being inappropriate??

        ha ha

        why havent you???

        feels weird

        oh i see         youll consume a bunch of unethical porn for free but god forbid you actually give sex workers any actual money

        you are the last person who can lecture me about unethical porn

        hey now watch yourself         ringo if you dont get a subscription I WILL

        go ahead

        and ill tell you every day what sexy sexy pictures hes posting         ill tell you EVERY SINGLE TIME i have a wank over them

        every time? i dont think youve got enough data for that

        im not joking

        neither am i         you wank A LOT

        ringooooo just buy it i swear to god         if its not worth it or you regret it or whatever ill give you the money back

        on top of the money you already owe me?

        have you always been such a capitalist

        youre not doing a very good job of convincing me

        fine         spikes cock         now are you convinced???

        maybe

        naked pictures of spike whenever and wherever you want them all for the low low price of 10 quid a month         convinced??

        fine fine         if itll shut you up

        im starting to think thats code for 'i really wanna do this but im too embarrassed to admit it'

        i hate you

        now that DEFINITELY code for 'john youre right'         anyway theres no time to be telling me how right i am all the time youve got dick pics to look at         even i wont stand in the way of a good wank         so dont bother replying to me until youve paid for that subscription young man

        im older than you

        DONT BOTHER REPLYING

Ringo let out a sigh and rested his head against the bedroom wall from where he was laying on the bed. He opened up the link again and his thumb hovered over the subscription button, why couldn't he just do it? The money wasn't an issue, it could've cost half as much or be double the price and he'd still be debating it all the same. Somehow it felt like an invasion of privacy, after all Spike hadn't told Ringo about it himself, but then again that didn't necessarily mean he didn't want Ringo to see it. After all it was like John said: everyone has to make a living somehow. Sometimes Ringo wished he could turn off that part of his brain that was so empathetic, so concerned about how everyone felt and what they were thinking. He knew that he wanted this, so why wasn't he allowing himself to have it? Ringo could see that he was being ridiculous, as he was with almost anything involving Spike, and after lying there for a while pondering and debating he decided to flip a coin. Heads would mean he got the subscription, tails that he didn't. He watched the coin spinning through the air after he flicked it upwards, then snatched it and slammed it down onto his forearm before slowly moving his hand away: it was tails. What a relief. Ringo chuckled to himself for being so foolish, settling down into his bed; it was still only around midday but he didn't have anywhere he needed to be.

So why didn't he feel relieved in the slightest?

This whole thing was getting tiring, the constant debate between what he believed he should do and what he wanted to do, and it seemed like it wasn't going to be ending anytime soon. Apparently he was in this for the long run, whatever that meant, but if he was going to turn down relatively attractive guys practically throwing themselves at him, he may as well go all the way. While he was putting in his credit card information, he stopped to think around three of four times, but once he'd finished and the images became accessible to him, his brain was barely able to conjure up a coherent sentence.

"Jesus..." Ringo breathed out as his eyes flicked across the plethora of pictures loading up on his screen.

There was a lot of them, and a lot of Spike was on display. Most of them were pictures taken at the club, either from a professional photographer in the audience or photos he'd taken himself in the mirrors backstage - Ringo could even see glimpses of Paul in the background of some of them. The ones that caught Ringo's eyes the most were those that seemed to be taken in his house, these also happened to be the ones in which Spike tended to be fully naked. It was very different experience to see him like this: a static image that he'd intentionally taken of himself and posted for so many people to see, an image that couldn't look back at Ringo and make him feel that strange mixture of excitement and shame. He began scrolling down the feed which only revealed more and more enticing photos. Ringo began to feel himself hardening, he suspected it had been happening for a while now but he'd been far too distracted to notice. He felt like a teenager discovering porn for the first time, it was difficult to remind himself that this wasn't anything new. Seeing Spike naked shouldn't have excited him so much, and yet it did.

One picture in particular drew Ringo's attention: Spike was stood in front of a bathroom mirror with a loose black tie lying against his bare chest, one hand was holding a phone and the other gripping his cock. He had dark eye make up on and his hair was messy. Ringo wasn't sure exactly what it was about this photo that was so enticing but he couldn't take his eyes off it. The prominence of his collarbones, the faint curls of his dark hair, how his slim fingers wrapped around himself. Slowly Ringo slid his own hand under the waistband of his boxers as he stared at the picture. At first he hesitated, his fingers stopped right above the base. It's not like this would've been the first time he'd touched himself while thinking about Spike, it would've been far from the last he imagined, but this was different. It was more concrete, more of an admission. Nothing felt quite as real when it's only being imagined, the haziness of lust fuzzing up the mind as it so often did, but now with a very real photo of Spike in front of him - which he'd paid to see - the feeling was far more tangible, far harder to ignore.

He'd come this far, he told himself as his hand sunk lower until his fingers were running along the length of his semi-hard cock, he may as well go all the way. To begin with Ringo stayed looking at this single picture as he slowly pumped himself, but as his lust began to grow he perused through more and more pictures: Spike kneeling naked in front of a mirror with a loose cigarette hanging from his lips, lying in the bath with bubbles only just about covering his nakedness, spread out on the bed with a gag in his mouth, handcuffs forcing his slim arms behind his back with his cock throbbing. None of this was anything Ringo hadn't seen before, like most people in this day and age he'd searched through the darker corners of the internet - sometimes willingly, sometimes John was to blame - but to see Spike in such a way was like an entirely new rush. Each picture drove Ringo further and further on, at times he almost dropped his phone with how sloppy his movements were becoming. Who took these photos? Ringo figured it was best not to think about it, the possibility that Spike had a boyfriend who took all these pictures of him would've been the quickest way to kill his erection.

Ringo began moaning and cursing wantonly as he got closer and closer to his orgasm, he had to stop flicking through the pictures because he could hardly concentrate on what his other hand was doing, so he settled on a final one to help him finish; it wasn't particularly strategic but he was definitely grateful that he selected the one that he did. In it Spike was looking directly into the camera, allowing Ringo to gaze longingly into the rich brown of his eyes and how his dark lashes curled beautifully around them. He was shirtless with nothing but a necklace on, the same necklace that Ringo had seen him wearing in the record store and Ringo couldn't help feeling a sense of satisfaction that he'd seen it with his own eyes, as though it meant something. Deep down he knew that it didn't but his inebriated mind was latching onto it. The nudity in the photo was hardly interesting Ringo by this point, although it would be wrong to say that he completely ignored the flatness of his stomach or the faint shadows of his ribs beneath his pale skin, it was the personal aspect which truly affected him.

This wasn't just lust. Lust Ringo could understand, he could compartmentalise it and give into it without much shame or a second thought. If this was just lust, he would've bought the subscription without a care and touched himself looking at the nakedness of Spike's body as though it meant nothing more than a way to get off. Yet here he was on the brink of orgasm looking into another man's eyes, eyes that felt like they were looking straight back at him as though they were sharing this moment together. It wasn't hard to imagine Spike's hand in place of his own, those deep eyes watching Ringo come undone piece by piece. Ringo's hip began to stutter, his leg twitching a little as he had to drop the phone down onto his lap as his head fell back against his pillow as his orgasm approached. It wasn't the image of Spike's naked body that filled Ringo's mind as he came, it wasn't his arse or his cock or even his chest, it was his face, his voice, it was him.

Ringo lay breathless on his bed for a while, the clarity that arrived as his orgasm subsided wasn't welcome in the slightest and he was reluctant to pick his phone back up to see Spike's eyes looking at him once again. There was no use in feeling ashamed about it, no point in trying to deny it any longer: his feelings for Spike were more than a mere passing fancy, that was clear. Exactly what he was meant to do about these feelings was far from clear but that wasn't something Ringo could figure out right now with cum on his stomach and the daylight seeping through his bedroom curtains.

When he'd picked up his phone he'd closed all the apps immediately, doing his best not to catch a glimpse of what he'd been so eagerly looking at before. Just as he was about to step into the shower to clean himself off, his phone buzzed; he almost couldn't hear it over the music he was blasting out. It alerted him for a moment as though it was going to be a message from Spike stating he knew exactly what Ringo had just done - it wouldn't have really surprised him had that been the case, Spike's face almost always looked like he knew something that nobody else did - but fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately, it was John.

        sooo how did the wank go

         who knows          but on a totally unrelated note im about to get into the shower

         well before you do that i have even more good news 

         can it not wait?

         NO because you might cum just at the thought of it and then youd be wasting a good shower

         well arent you considerate          and unnecessarily graphic

         thats me          anyway im taking you to the club next tuesday whether you like it or not

         im still waiting for the good news

         well if youd let me FINISH          next week theyre doing a special event and we just have to go          youll never guess what it is

         what is it?

         guess

         you just said ill never guess

         youre no fun

         WHAT IS IT

         alright alright keep your hair on          its a crossdressing event          high heels make up probably a few wigs all that good stuff

         im still waiting for the good news

         OH COME ON youre telling me you dont want to see spike in heels and fishnets with some lovely lipstick on

Ringo gulped. It wasn't a difficult image to conjure up his mind, considering he'd been staring at photos of Spike for the past twenty minutes and it excited him to say the least. He did want to see that, very much indeed.

[lashydsdomain]

1-154. you wont

bitch

bet i will

1: Full name

lashy. das all you get

2: Age

19

3: 3 Fears

stairs, glass breaking, not being able to get ahold of someone

4: 3 things I love

my ocs uwu, my friends, my fucking tablet goddamn

5: 4 turns on

not comfy sharing on tumblr

6: 4 turns off

ill say ill come back to this one then leave this in the post

7: My best friend

rn i would say it’s probably blitztrolls

8: Sexual orientation

pan uwu

9: My best first date

ahh.... i havent had an in person first date still ;u;

10: How tall am I

5′5″

11: What do I miss

not being stressed eue;;;

12: What time were I born

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

13: Favourite color

pale blu

14: Do I have a crush

ye u//w//u

15: Favourite quote

you know these things are asked and my mind goes blank

16: Favourite place

the woods just after it’s rained

17: Favourite food

im a basic bitch and just gonna say mac n cheese

18: Do I use sarcasm

no absolutely not. nope.

19: What am I listening to right now

ambles playlist- it’s on ocean eyes by billie elish rn

20: First thing I notice in new person

prooooobably like. their face? typing style if it’s online

21: Shoe size

uhhhhhh i think like a womens 10?

22: Eye color

blue/green

23: Hair color

dark brown

24: Favourite style of clothing

loose and baggy because if i cant be comfortable what’s the point

25: Ever done a prank call?

HELL YEAH

27: Meaning behind my URL

lashyd was one of my first fantrolls and i liked the way it sounded

28: Favourite movie

mmmmm either labyrinth, princess mononoke or annihilation

29: Favourite song

no clue my friend im bad at picking

30: Favourite band

same as above sweats

31: How I feel right now

excited but tired

32: Someone I love

passivetrolls u//w//u/

33: My current relationship status

in a relationship!

34: My relationship with my parents

love my dad, kinda dislike my mom

35: Favourite holiday

christ mass

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

none, im so scared of needles ;u;

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

mmmmmaybe something stupid and simple on like my ankle?? i dunno what tho sweats

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

another fandom and i got bored with homeschooling lmao

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

i dislike them but they have tried to contact me a few times before i blocked them

40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?

not usually

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

i dont text so ill go w discord and no i have not the last person i messaged was you shenk gdi

42: When did I last hold hands?

the 2nd ;u;

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

7ish minutes

44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?

hellllllllllll no

45: Where am I right now?

room

46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?

prooooobably my bf or my dad. hate alcohol tho

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

loud but only w speakers

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

only da

49: Am I excited for anything?

absolutely motherfucker im making new friends left and right

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

i got two uwu

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

:))))))) irl most of the time tbh

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

last night

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

i would probably cry ugnfldkjfgslfdjg the last person i kissed was my bf wheezes

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

i mean probably.

55: What is something I disliked about today?

ehhhh nothing bad has really happened today

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

probably my friend from serbia uwu

57: What do I think about most?

ocs probably sweats

58: What’s my strangest talent?

burping on command? i dunno

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

glass shattering ouo;;;

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

beh ind

61: What was the last lie I told?

calling myself a basic bitch lmao

62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

phone probably? video calls make me nervous

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

hell yeah to both

64: Do I believe in magic?

hell yeah i yell tossing salt on all my rocks

65: Do I believe in luck?

yeee

66: What’s the weather like right now?

uhhh clear i think

67: What was the last book I’ve read?

Shibuya Goldfish

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

nop

69: Do I have any nicknames?

lash, lashy, gremlin and then stupid relationship nicknames gldsfgjfgs

70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?

prooobably almost falling down some stairs at a con and chipping my shin and probably partly pulling my shoulder out of the socket

71: Do I spend money or save it?

i try to save but end up spending it ouo;;;;

72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?

nearly

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?

there are some half customized MH dolls so i guess yeah

74: Favourite animal?

cat uwu

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

drawing ambles trollcall pick

76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?

satan stan obviously

77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Here - Ancient Magus' Bride OP

78: How can you win my heart?

art of my ocs ngl

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

fuck if i knew

80: What is my favorite word?

probably fuck if you would ask my phone lmao

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

passivetrollsblitztrollstavvys-trollsfilibusterfrogwe-are-the-legion

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

hey fuckers lets rumble

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

not that i know of

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

teleportation ngl

85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?

probably 87

86: What is my current desktop picture?

87: Had sex?

sweats how about we move on

88: Bought condoms?

ye

89: Gotten pregnant?

hell no

90: Failed a class?

i think yeah

91: Kissed a boy?

yeeeeeeee

92: Kissed a girl?

nop

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

does it count if we were indoors

94: Had job?

not yet wheezes

95: Left the house without my wallet?

ye

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

i dont think so i mgiht have when i was younger

97: Had sex in public?

n o

98: Played on a sports team?

ye!

99: Smoked weed?

ye.

100: Did drugs?

only weedles

101: Smoked cigarettes?

nop

102: Drank alcohol?

yes and i hated it

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

nop

104: Been overweight?

ye

105: Been underweight?

nop

106: Been to a wedding?

nop

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

 every day p much

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

nop

109: Been outside my home country?

ye!

110: Gotten my heart broken?

;;;; yeah

111: Been to a professional sports game?

ye

112: Broken a bone?

possibly?

113: Cut myself?

if this is on accident then ya

114: Been to prom?

prom is a waste of time ngl just go to arbys

115: Been in airplane?

yeye

116: Fly by helicopter?

n o

117: What concerts have I been to?

blueman group and the 4th of july ones that play around here

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

yeeee

119: Learned another language?

bits and pieces

120: Wore make up?

yeah

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

nop

122: Had oral sex?

lets just skip the sex questions

123: Dyed my hair?

yeee

124: Voted in a presidential election?

ee

125: Rode in an ambulance?

nop

126: Had a surgery?

nop

127: Met someone famous?

yeye

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

god no

129: Peed outside?

this question is weird

130: Been fishing?

hell the fuck yeah

131: Helped with charity?

prrrrobaby?

132: Been rejected by a crush?

yeah ;u;

133: Broken a mirror?

i dont think so

134: What do I want for birthday?

money

135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?

NO

136: Was I named after anyone?

i was named after two people uwu

137: Do I like my handwriting?

i can barely read it lmao i hate it

138: What was my favourite toy as a child?

my stuffed tigger uwu

139: Favourite Tv Show?

fuck i dunno probably cyberchase or fetch i dont watch tv anymore lmao

140: Where do I want to live when older?

somewhere quiet but convenient

141: Play any musical instrument?

flute and violin

142: One of my scars, how did I get it?

i have a scar on my knuckle from making garlic bread ;u; wasnt even good

143: Favourite pizza toping?

banana peppers

144: Am I afraid of the dark?

nah

145: Am I afraid of heights?

mmmm at times

146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?

yeah >w>;;;

147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?

all the mc fuckin time

148: What I’m really bad at

telling people when im not up for something

149: What my greatest achievments are

being alive you fuckers cant beat me i won over hundreds of other fuckers and im here

150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me

Lets Not, Kids

151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery

buy so much cosplay shit and helping friends get what they need

152: What do I like about myself

im getting better uwu

153: My closest Tumblr friend

passivetrolls or blitztrolls wheezes

154: Something I fantasize about

being able to help my friends out of the places they are right now QuQ

155: Any question you’d like?

more questions for amble and my other girls!

[ts-akhmim]

Episode 3 | “It does not look good for our tribe. Honestly, we suck... Really bad. ” - Duncan

The way I absolutely flopped at that puzzle… this is why I’m a Beauty cause a sis ain’t smart to complete a puzzle and I’m not brawn-y enough to do well in a challenge hgjfdk BUT that being said, Hagthor beat the thots and apiss and I couldn’t be any happier! I do wish Brawn lost over Brain but yknow, you can’t have everything go your way (‘: it’s funny how I slayed the last challenge and flopped this one tho like a bitch really lacks consistency huh ghfjndmks

Heading into a second tribal council, there is becoming less and less room to hide. I am struggling to hold my own against the other tribes when it comes to competitions, but thank goodness it's a numbers game. If everything goes accordingly, I am taking a backseat this vote and allowing a 4-2 vote out when it comes to Trace. I appreciated Duncan coming to me with the alliance chat information with him/Scott/Trace/Isaac, but didn't like how Autumn needed to tell me first. Shows that I really can't trust Scott/Duncan after a swap comes up. In regards to Scott, he outright didn't say anything. I like him and all, but it was a slimy move to say the least. He only said something because he HAD to vote out someone in one of his two alliances. This group will be dumb as hell if they let me swap. I'll flip on them as soon as possible and invite anyone into my alliance. The tribe swap is where I made my 'Slithers' game infamous last time, so I'm hoping for a similar output. Don't forget: I swapped with the minority last time in Guyana (shout out to Jess), so I'm not worried about the numbers and how its split. ALL I NEED IS A SWAP OR TWIST. GET ME OUT OF HERE. 

Wow we’re really flopping this challenge huh! I really hate this as a group challenge bc we wasted so much time believing in an algorithm that doesn’t even work! 

okay so i again filmed a video confessional while walking the dog which i WILL eventually upload i promise hosts BUT. this challenge was literally torture, staring at the excel spreadsheet was so draining. TJ did so much work for it so I really really hope we win he is so sweet i was real mean to him at the start for truly no reason NNN i really really want the beauty tribe to go to to tribal, or the brains lot again i guess? i dont really wanna go to tribal even though i think Liam M is the easy vote? i'd rather not. i just feel really drained after that challenge i wish this confessional was even a little bit exciting im sorry hosts

i feel like i underappreciated dan as an ally?! the more i talk to him its like hmmm we vibe and we have similar energy? like i get very different but good energies from all of dan, jake and jordan! which i love, like i feel really good about them all. like what's reassuring about dan (and this sounds weird) is he feels fine complaining about others to me in pms? like jake does the same and that makes me feel really reassured trust wise - like i would never talk negatively about another player to someone i distrusted tbh... so i feel really good about that! i feel like particularly in a maybe swap i'll really bond with whoever i get to swap with even MORE. idk i just feel good about this brawn tribe still i don't want to GOOO.

okay so yesterday was... eventful! i watched the sequester mini with jake which was super fun and then right after... he cracked the tomb and i decided to tell jake about my idol. have i had it since day two? yes. but i told him i found it during the mini so i wouldnt seem sus. i dont regret my decision (so far at least anyway JKASD) because a) he cracked the tomb and immediately told me b) i think he is loyal and particularly since i told him i can and will idol him like i dont think he has incentive to leak my idol unless it comes down to lategame and he wants to blindside me but i don't see myself being able to hold onto the idol until that stage anyway! but yeah so jake knows about my idol so i'm hoping i can use it to my benefit, or to save him because i'm really invested in his success this season. maybe we are gonna be the two brawns at the end woo and tony style even tho i think i'm probs the woo nnnnn

Trace went home and that is yet another potential connection I could’ve had in the game GONE… like the Brains really wanna see me flop huh! It’s interesting that it was 4-2 vote tho like it has my overthinking self spiraling lowkey. I do really feel for the Brains having to lose twice though like I’ve been on a flop tribe before and morale is always low so my heart goes out to them and I hope they beat Brawn xoxo 

This challenge? Literal homophobia! Like I love unscrambled eggs and I want my eggs cracked by VARIOUS men but this was not what I had in mind (‘: this challenge being my alliance + AJ is interesting as well considering that AJ was the one person I haven’t established a game connection with but I do really like him. In a way, I do think him participating in this challenge is the best thing that could’ve happened to his game since it allows him to build more connections with others? That being said, Connor on the other hand… is disappointing me in a way like the king isn’t talking much or doing much. If he has personal stuff to attend to, I completely get it and he should focus on that first but I do wanna know so I don’t assume he disappeared yknow (‘: but oh well !!!

I do think me honing in on the fact that Kendall and I are two peas in a pod in this game has her really thinking that which is awesome! I do adore that girl but I gotta keep an eye out (for Selener). She did tell me that her goals this round include the following 1) Set up an alliance with us + Austin, 2) Get AJ to be our alliance’s fake 5th, and 3) Get out Adam. While I am glad she told me all of this, I’m just very cautious of her connections? Austin and I are super close and he likes her, that’s fine. My thing is with AJ because while we were calling, I did pick up on the fact that those two have played before and whatnot so who knows. I’m just a naturally stressed person so ye !!! I do really like Adam though so I hope we don’t lose at all (‘:

I hate myself for being on a call for 9 hours in this game ghjfkdls but that being said, I do genuinely love everyone on this tribe and the thought of losing makes me super emo because I feel close to every person here in one way or another. It’s a dilemma too because us winning this challenge would be ideal but if we do win and Brawn goes to tribal, the Beauty Tribe becomes public enemy number one in a swap scenario because why wouldn’t the other tribes wanna get rid of the tribe that has the most members yknow? It’s a nail-biter regardless ;-; 

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1fpSJvDJxy38LcRI4MjwzIa64zT_tytXC/view?usp=sharing

So I'm not surprised that we lost AGAIN! Lowkey I feel like I did everything during this challenge so not only do I feel more defeated, but I'm annoyed that not too many people contributed. Like I have to constantly ask people how they're doing in the challenge, and they provide me with NOTHING!! And I'm tired of voting people out :/ Anyways, I feel like voting out Isaac is a dumb move for my game going forward, because Duncan/Autumn are clearly a duo. Duncan even said to me that he wouldn't mind voting out Devon if we needed too. If we don't swap next round and lose again, I have the feeling Duncan and Autumn are going to try and pit Devon and I against each other. I like to think they'd choose me over Devon since I don't have any connections to anyone. The smart move would be for them to utilize Isaac and blindside me, but I like to think they wouldn't be doing that anytime soon. I feel bad voting out Isaac because I know how much he hated being booted early in Malaysia. So to do that to him again is really sad to me. I would try to convince Devon to split up Autumn/Duncan, but he's all about the 4 going forward. Everyone is and as much as I love the 4, that type of game is boring. Idk maybe my style of gameplay is different than theirs. If I see that I'm in a sinking ship, I make sure to grab a life vest and swim to another boat. I don't sit on the boat and say "okay, time to drown now". Luckily none of them know me for the numerous times that I've flipped on alliances before. If we do swap next round, my plan is to remain loyal to whichever brain is on my tribe. However, this won't stop me from trying to make connections with people from other tribes and making new alliances. If I need to ditch my brains to solidify trust with my new tribe, then that is exactly what I am going to do. In the event that I do leave tomorrow, this game was fun! After being out of the tumblr survivor community for 3 years, I don't think I'd come back for a future org/season because the amount of stress i've been in this past week is more than I've endured with online learning since corona came to town. Idk I wouldn't be surprised if a #blindside came my way.

it's only day 7 and we havent even been to tribal yet and we STILL arent going because we won again, and im already going off the deep end like am i crackedt?? what the hell is happening on this tribe like am i the quiet one or is there just a collective quiet going on since we're just sliding through the game rn?? im not gonna lie it's kinda boring... it's getting weird.....the fact that there's an idol just looming around and someone has it and isnt telling me is making me crazy, and then to make me even more crazy i foolishly decided to sit out of the challenge today, i knew i probably wasnt gonna be good at anything with the letters all jumbled together, im just being real so i decide to spare my tribe and myself mostly the misery and sit out, i dont want to be perceived as weak completely and be voted off right now for it, but i do want to start to make sure people think im not that good at the challenges so i dont have a target going foward- also, im really just not good at the challenges. BUT apparently everyone was just like on a call together all day because of the challenge and obviously i couldnt be in it so :// my own fault! i didnt think it through completely and luckily we won, but if we hadnt, i mean... a day long on/off call is more than enough to bond over and pick a first boot from those not in it, but aj updated me on everything and at least according to him, my name wasnt mentioned and they were mostly working on the challenge and discussing white men, so that means i didnt miss much! im still working day by day on trying to water my relationships with everyone and make sure theyre ready to bloom into my little alliances once its had enough time to absorb all the sunshine i naturally radiate!! However.... others arent doing the same gorl.... like connor, literally messaged me out of the blue just to have a conversation and when i tried talking to him he stops messaging me right away ... like hello is it something i said?? i literally feel like parvati when she was going is it me?? am i being punkd??? also tried talking to kendall again today, i do enjoy her i will say she's growing on me but as of now she hasnt responded to me yet, which is ok since i never respond to anyone either oop hopefully its just not everyone vs. adam already in other news i guess a swap could be coming?? i really just dont want to be on a tribe with jakey because im not ready to dig up the hatchet from cvc lets keep it buried please!! unless he's completely forgotten that and wants to work with me and be my shield again but um... dont think he'd be up for that! im here to play a NEW game not my old one, in any case, no matter what happens i feel like as long as i have any of my fellow A name sisters- AJ, Augusto, or Amir with me, i could possibly be fine... i dont think Amir was really playing me anymore either like i did yesterday smh i think that was just a tangent of paranoia my mind created (maybe ..) 

I feel like we have to be swapping tonight like this brains tribe has lost so many challenges in a rwo, that ifit wasnt planned i feel like the hosts have to be like "put it in sis they movin" Im gonna spendthe rest of the of today working on my relationships with the rest of my brawny boys, so no if we do swap, on matter what configurations it lands on I should have options. Still dont know jac shit about the tomb and that is bothering me but thats a problem for another day.

Well, thank god that we were able to pull that challenge out. I knew if we lost it that my ass could potentially be on the line given how large of a role I played in organizing that challenge, so it would have been sad (and hella scary) to have lost that. But I do think I've shown that I can be a valuable asset to this tribe now in the event that we somehow stay in tribes for another round. I'm anticipating a tribe swap here this next round, so I kind of just need to prepare to meet some new people and hope that I'm on a tribe with some people that I've gotten along with. Ideally, I'd have Jake with me and we'd act as if we weren't that close, but I'd be happy to see basically anyone but Liam there with me. He's a great guy, but I know he doesn't trust me, I know I don't trust him, so I really don't want that to be my only lifeline on a swap tribe.

okay so in the event we swap out of the brawn tribe tonight... which would be TRAGIC i wanted to do an in memoriam of apis 1.0! TJ - i was SO rude and wrong about him! he is genuinely so sweet and lovely, and super hard working. i think he would be a good one to swap with, it would build our bond and he is a challenge workhorse! i hope he isn't mad at me for my round one confessionals, just know tj that i was WRONG and that i was the clown! Lovelis - I get really good energy from him but we also... never talk so idk where I'm getting that from? I think he is definitely going to be a casualty of the swap, I see him definitely getting picked of? Which would be sad! idk we will see Liam M - He is really sweet, but we also talk super infrequently? I feel like he trusts me which is good?! But I think he is definitely gonna go premerge unfortunately just since he isnt super active? we will see ahh Jordan - I really like Jordan i think he is great! we are working together but something about his energy has seemed... off recently? and jake has noticed the same thing and idk what to do with that it just seems off? idk i feel like we potentially are gonna drift apart as allies which would be a shame! Dan - I really love Dan, he has such good energy which I really vibe with him? I think I kind of underestimated his potential as an ally which I really regret I like him a lot tbh.. I'd like to build that trust further for sure, he just gives off such good ally energy Jake - ahh yes have left my favourite for last. ugh i love jake his energy is the best and i trust him 100% unequivocally. he knows about my idol (may've kept it a secret for two rounds but i told him eventually which is what counts jasldfkas) i want him to succeed in this game so badly, im really hopeful for him to SNAP also quickly about the brain tribal, i just hope isaac/autumn/duncan are safe. those are my only preseason connections and would kinda love to see any/all of them in a swap situation tbh i think i want that devon slithers man gone he seems sneaky (is it just because slithers sounds like a snake yes)

It’s been way too quiet around here so I’ve accepted that Duncan/Autumn/Devon/Isaac are all voting me out tonight. Devon keeps talking to me about the swap and really emphasizing about it, so I get sketch vibes from that. Plus that Duncan/Autumn duo is very strong so it makes sense for them to want to vote me out. Plus apparently Isaac is writing my name down tonight so... it’s been fun! I enjoyed my 7 days that I spent here and can’t wait for the perjury trip with Trace and Bodhi 🥳🥳🥳

Lowkey kinda bummed we won this challenge. Which probably raises a few death flags but whatever. I would have liked to put our alliance to the test before a swap :/. It also would have been neat to have the fucking idiot who voted with Trace as a spare vote, now they are definitely going to get fucked. Luckily the challenge provided some new optunity for alliances. For starters we can make a natural extra alliance with AJ without drawing conclusions to a mysterious third faction. Even though Connor did jack shit... I'm not bitter just... disappointed. :/

PERIODTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT, WE WON HOES! Like I am incredibly shook that we won because I was ready to jump off of a ledge hgfjkdl so yay for that! The Brains lost and I really do feel for them but Brawn winning makes our numbers equal and the Brawns are more threatening overall so that should mean that Brains would want to work with us in a swap scenario yknow? I’m just shook I’m on the winning tribe ghjfdks

Now that we won, I SHOULD be chilling right? Well, I hate myself so I’m not doing that one bit. I am deathly afraid of a swap next round because the makings of a swap are all there (a flop tribe that needs a swap to save them, us being at 18 people is perfect for 3 tribes of 3, etc). I’m scared I will get swap fucked in some capacity so I’m just aaaa. That being said, I do want to make sure I leave on amazing terms with everyone before we swap in case I am separated from anyone or I join some of these legends on a new tribe. 

honestly, our tribe has been pretty much on a high. our most recent challenge seemed like something tailored for us to lose, and while i was nervous for a second, we were able to best the brains tribe and send them to tribal for the THIRD time. (i really thought they'd have that one in the bag!) i feel sorry for those nerds, they just can't catch a break :( but seriously, the challenge itself really opened doors of opportunity for me in the game i feel. me/kendall/amir/augusto were on call from 11AM est to the time challenge results went up.. and it was an experience. we all got along pretty well and put our braincells together to get through that challenge, but their company was what made it worthwhile! connor was also participating in the challenge, but he didn't really do anything. although i know he's been pretty busy lately so i'm not too bent about it and completely understand, just wish he said a little more in the chat other than the two messages he did! i think what i'm preparing for right now is the swap. i really wanna cement solid relationships and allegiances with the people on my tribe as we anticipate going into bigger tribes as of next round or the round after. i wouldn't mind just staying on this tribe, though. our dynamic is great, the people are great, and we're even better in competition. there's really not much of a loss there if you ask me! 

So in the past 24 hours I've worked my ass off to try to get Autumn and Devon to vote with me against Scott and/or Duncan and I'm not getting my hopes up. Like everything they've given me has been so vague and I've tried to go the extra mile to try to get Autumn and Devon to trust me. I think I'm going home tonight and if I do that's tragic but not exactly a #blindside. It might be my curtain call but I hope I at least made them doubt each other. 

Also #FuckThoth, Jess rigged me out

Me waiting for tribal to happen: https://66.media.tumblr.com/c327b3a59ef66f9835241d079c1fbe39/tumblr_n20f10EtZH1rkuhmio2_400.gif

Me if I make it out alive tonight: https://media1.tenor.com/images/664df9da1de6fb8913ff67b2ca8234e0/tenor.gif?itemid=16269462

 Me if I get voted out tonight: https://media.giphy.com/media/aUW1R5qccvQ3K/giphy.gif

I HATE IT HERE I WANNA GO HOME!!! I feel like the underpaid babysitter that the parents forgot about cause these boys are triiippppinng. I’m selling the vote so well to Isaac I actually wanted to vote Scott with him and I was going to but my damn alliance has him secondguessing and now everyone is all misty eyed about being split while Isaac is panicking so the solution is a CALL. Even though we call EVERYDAY so there ain’t shit to talk about??? Isaac has been blowing my pm’s up all day so no sir, no farewell calls. My emotional energy has been spent for the day lying for 6 hours straight thank you very much. Scuncan and Devon need to cut the melodrama out cause we have a whole game left?? So we will see each other again??? And if we don’t, we don’t. Also we could not get swapped tonight??? So simmer down. The Lord NEEDS to take me cause I can’t do it. Everyone needs their hand held and their feelings coddled and I’m tired. Less  kumbayah, more playing Survivor 

So we won again! I felt terrible in our challenge chat because I really couldn't get my head around the patterns and shit everyone else was doing, honestly hope they don't see general weakness in me because of it.. I'm good at like, everything else, but I dunno, this season's just not been looking favourably on me yet. After the flag incident and then that challenge, I feel like I probably am in the most danger, and I still don't know what to do about it except spam everyone all the time in hopes they feel some social tie to me... I hate it here I rly do. Hopefully we'll start to get more comps I can excel in because so far it's been flop after flop and I rly hate to see it.

Not AJ telling me that I am the person he is closest to on this tribe… I’m crying ugh, I feel so bad for wanting him to leave first like I didn’t get to know him well until recently but I really do like him… why was I blessed with these iconic people on my tribe? Game aside, I do like them all and want them to slay in life <3

I'm so screwed if I don't win this immunity challenge. I know I'm a weak link, so if I don't win this, hopefully *dan* doesn't either cause I might have to target him to save my skin. This is where I'm really gonna have to be social over the next day, cause my ass is quite literally on the line right now. I'm not getting 18th-16th, screw this.

Okay I’m gonna say it, I love my alliance so much.I will not play with my heart and I’ll kill them if I have to but I really really really don’t want to, I obvi love my alliance with Augusto, Kendall, and Connor so much, but i will not play with my heart and ill backstab them if i have to but i really really dont want to. I would also like if adam austin and aj were safe. I really really like adam a lot. he is a fking sweetheart, and hes so funny. Austin is also great and super genuine and kind. i feel bad for calling him boring earlier, and aj is just funny and cool in general. the best case is we never have to go to tribal and i get to keep my inbred nocturnal intoxicated-at-all-times tribe members here. I am gonna need as many of these people in the game as possible for the swap and for the merge, and if we end up do having to go to tribal, I will do everything in my power to keep the tribe from getting divided, because we're gonna need each other to take down the brawn tribe.

I want to be tight with every single one of the beauties because a swap is likely coming and I need them, and the biggest issue rn I see moving foreward is if brawn and brain align, so we must snatch the brains first. every one keeps talking about being stumped about the tomb and I just keep lying DKNDKDNDD but I am lowkey scared they know I’m lying 

[yoongi-aka-agust-d]

20 questions tag

I was tagged by @puppyoongslike ten years ago and im finally coming around to it lmao, thanks for thinking of me ~

rules: answer the 20 questions and tag 20 blogs you would like to get to know better

nicknames: i dont really have any? my name is v short as it is. my nickname currently in the main group chat is ‘unapologetic’ but idk when it became that lmao 

gender: female

star sign: virgo

height: im not sure? i think its around the 5′4 mark

time right now: 00:31am

last thing I googled: ‘its never too late to be what you could have been’ quote

favorite bands: bts, the neighbourhood, i feel like my chem should get an honorary mention. fall out boy have pure bops. i also love exo, blackpink, red velvet and twice but im not like a hardcore fan, just a casual.i rly like don broco, and KARD look promising i mean both the songs so far have been absolute tunes 

fave solo artists: halsey, melanie martinez (yes i am trash), britney spears (shes fucking iconic ok), nicki minaj (the actual queen), troye sivan, the weeknd

song stuck in my head:down by marian hill and now or never by halsey

last movie I watched: zootropolis was the last film i watched in general (it was a rewatch w the fam and its a damn good film if you ignore the influence of furries), beauty and the beast was the last film i saw in cinema (twice so far. its so good!!)

last show I watched: i just watched the first ep of the new season of doctor who. brooklyn 99 was the last (and possibly only tbh) show i finished (repeatedly. its my fave. yall should watch b99)

when did you create your blog: i just checked and this blog has been going since august 2011 how gross thats so many years wasted on this god forsaken site. this is my main blog, i have an aesthetic side blog i created like almost two years ago.

what do you post: literally anything. there is no rhyme, reason, structure or rules. its a mess. it started off as aesthetic and disney, went through the bandom phase, the criminal minds phase, the marvel phase and is currently bts/kpop w some other random shit mixed in.

when did your blog reach its peak?: god i hope it hasnt tbh that would be a bit depressing. i think this is the most Peak its been since i started it though

do you have other blogs: ya boy i have my aesthetic side blog if any of yall are interested in all that jazz @existingmess

when i first started out i originally had a side blog on the books i read which i kept going until about three years ago, but it stopped being fun so i deleted it. (it was called the book count)

do you get asks regularly: n o honestly i never get asks why does no one like me T T i would be so happy if any of yall ever hmu

why did you choose your url: i had idontgiveafxxk as a reference to nevermind, but when the agust d mixtape came out i wanted a url that was more blatantly yoongi related and @not-jeongguk v generously gifted me a saved url

following: 453

posts: 43,983 how rank

hogwarts house: OKAY SO when pottermore came out i did the test TWICE and both times i got slytherin, and i was a v proud slytherin. until earlier this year or late last year, i took the test again to see what my patronus was, and i got ravenclaw???? i feel like ive been living a lie????? but seeing as i would have finished hogwarts by now im sticking w slytherin 

pokémon team: i have never done a gym in pokemon go so i havent actually ever chosen whoops

favorite colors: idk im bad at choosing stuff like this. i mean, def black. and red. at the moment im also very fond of bright orange,winnie the pooh yellow and pastel pink too.

average hours of sleep: who the fuck even knows w my sleep. it ranges from like none to twelve hours (i slept 12 hours yday)

lucky numbers: i dont rly have any so ill go w 6 and 9 bcos theyre my faves (ITS BDAY RELATED I PROMISE)

fave characters: gallowglass from the discovery of witches book series (HE DESERVED BETTER THAN THE LAST BOOK WTF). finnick odair (HE DESERVED BETTER THAN THE LAST BOOK WTF). every character from the brooklyn 99 tv show. Bucky barnes. peter pan. harley quinn.

what am I wearing now?: my new mickey mouse nightie i got for easter off my aunt

how many blankets do you sleep with: one duvet and if its cold one or two blankets on top

dream job: fuck me if i know

dream trip: i wanna go to south korea and attend a bts concert omg. failing that,, disney will work

im not entirely sure who to tag other than @not-jeongguk , so im just gon tag everyone i know @plaster-chief @jonathxnbyers @redeyes-ultimatedragon i do know others but ive forgotten their urls im sorry if u see this feel free to do it anyways ~