#i REALLY want to draw nsr now

[weekdaysend]

Going back to my roots ☁️

[nostraightheadcanons]

☆ DJSS falling in love headcanons ☆ DJSS X Reader

This is a pretty long read whoopsie ;;

☆ DJSS is a rather complicated case, on one hand you could say he's expressive but that is moreso a facade than anything. his grandiose behaviour is something he does to further the narrative that he's trying to push. That this DJ SUBATOMIC SUPERNOVA is beyond anything the world could imagine, he's above such trivial things that are befitting lowly humans such as you all. So something such as emotions? and feelings for others? should be below him would it not? He's someone who doesn’t handle intimate feelings very well. It’s difficult for him to come to terms with having feelings for someone else let alone platonic emotions, both from fear of rejection and the notion of that he'd never be good enough or worth anyone's true effort and time. He's used to having people at arms length never letting them get close enough to see the man behind the veil.

☆ Any past attempts at close relations have always ended up in failure due to his personality and façade, he struggles with understanding peoples emotions and the ways others think. He may be attentive and observant of the people around him but he's not very receptive to their attempts of so called friendly relations, everything must be logical, calculated and fit the design he has planned perfectly, these fortuitous attempts through him off balance.

Everything must be either transactional in his head. Give or take and he's the one mostly doing the taking.

NSR is just a stepping stone for the grander plans in life, you may think he's friend with the fellow charters but I few it more complicated than that.

What does it mean to like someone if they provide nothing for you to gain? It's illogical and an anomaly

☆ He can't perceive the notion of liking someone just because. At first he doesn't even register it's crush, you're just a stray planet in his orbit. Just a minuscule dot in the ever-growing galaxy, nothing of worth. Next to nothing when compared to him. But you stay, you continue to orbit him. You spin on an axis that is unfamiliar and foreign to his core that for some reason he catches himself looking at.

You were unplanned, unwanted and a nuisance that wouldn't go away.

His body couldn't ignore the gravitational pull that always found him, drawing closer to you whether in word or body. ☆ Although he’s a seemingly emotionless man in regards to matters that are not within his interest on the outside and rather talented in hiding his true feelings, he’s the type of person to become flustered by small things such as the way you laugh or smile at him, despite how brazen and bold some of his actions and words are. Though spotting those subtle differences is hard, but if you look close enough you can see the way that his orb changes shades. The ways that the sparkles shift to glow just a tad brighter, the cosmic clouds entrapped within him shifting as the waves brew into a storm of emotion that even he couldn't predict.

The plantery rings on his jacket spin a little faster, and if you really catch him off guard? You can see glimpse of a aura / halo hidden deep within the confines of his hoody. Spinning and rotating just a tad. You're drawing things out of him that he had pushed down for centuries, an unprecedented shift in his reality. You were an anomaly that has sent ripples throughout his very existence and now he's feeling the waves of the aftermath that is now changing the protectory of his life.

Seriously, he’d wrap an arm around you without a second thought if he's boasting about himself and wanting you to back within his brilliance n shine. But the moment you ask him to go somewhere like lunch or someplace else. He's just riddled with questions and doesn't seem to understand why you'd want him Anxiety dripping down his back, he'd psyche himself out of it trying to ignore the way his orb displays a myriad of shades that toooottally weren't there before. ☆ So when DJSS actually realizes this is a crush: he can be a little bit distant. Honestly though, I can see him being either one of two ways: Confident but he amps up his façade like crazy that he thinks he can prove his worth by showboating his glory or as previously mentioned. He would definitely want to cultivate his relationship with you before bringing it to the next level as a result of both of these possibilities but it's entirely dependent on how you react on how things go from there. Will you be the time to reach forward if he's cold and distant to slowly chip away at the ice barricade his heart? Will you be able to dismiss the grand act he puts own and venture into the vast depths to find what lurks beneath.

There's someone there wanting to be love, he doesn't realize it yet until he feels the ice of the great unknown nipping at his neck bringing with it the dread of loneliness that has forever plagued his existence.

All of this would be like second nature to him, but once he realizes exactly why he feels the way he does, he would distance himself a little bit to recollect and organize these new emotions. He's not prepared for this change, he can't seem to categorize or make sense of anything you've done to him. ☆ If you two do miraculously end up together, DJSS wouldn't do one of those big grand confession he thinks they're rather ridiculous for something like him. He's THE DJ Subatomic Supernova, he's not going to waste his time on some silly confession. He’ll eventually gather his thoughts and get his shit together and ask you on a date. If you say no, he's mentally prepared for this anyway. He'll just try and cease all the changes you've made to him effective immediately and try to push down and suffocate his emotions

Like he normally does ☆ He wouldn't gush about you like others do about their partners, He's not that kind of guy. But it won't stop him from certainly talking about you a lot. It doesn’t take long for others to catch onto just how much he likes to brag about you. So much so, that people often have to tell him to shut up. He's annoyed so many of his staff members about this already

You think his gloating about himself was bad?

He's upping the ante and gloating about YOU TOO. ☆ Totally the jealous type of lover, he wants to be the only one that gets to touch you that way. To hold you? To kiss you? To look upon you fondly with just enough sweetness that you blush. That's for him and his eyes only. It bothers him if someone is pestering you or trying to flirt. If someone talks about you too fondly for too long it really gets under his skin

You'll often find his orb growing darker by the second, you know he's not the type to hide his dislike of someone ☆ BIG HAIRY GUY! You think after everything I've said he'd hate being touched? Nope! He's touched starved and wants nothing more to be held and cuddled, once those walls are down and he learns to trust his feelings and you there's no stopping him from keeping his hands off you one way or the other. You can find him coiling his arms around you entangling you completely as he elongates his limbs to ensnare you completely. It's either draped on your shoulder, holding your hand or around your waist When he demands affection there’s no getting around it until he gets what he wants

Call him selfish and jealous, but you're his and he'll do anything to make that obvious to anyone around him ☆ The way to his heart? Cook for him, He's not the best in the kitchen mediocre at best, some of his attempts end up in disaster. Cooking is not logical, so many factors and things he needs to account for that can change on a dime and he hates that. So he avoids cooking as much as possible which means he either skips meals or substitutes for rather lacking options.

It shows him that you care and that you pay attention to him in ways that others do not, seriously it means a lot to him even if he has trouble showing that to you. Sometimes even you make him lose the words to say, which is surprising . .. given him.

☆Mod Nine☆

[ghastigiggles]

Hi again! :3 I hope you're still open for drawing Pressure prompts cuz I think I got a few in mind now~

https://www.tumblr.com/ghastigiggles/758820297344417792/i-imagine-if-you-tickle-sebastian-by-the-tail-his?source=share

I really wanna see a part 2 to the above. There's about two different scenarios I thought up for this (you can pick either one). Either A) Audie quickly gauges from Fish Boy's reaction that his tail fin is a lot more sensitive than he might've admitted to it being, and they take full risk opportunity to tease him for it, tickling it more purposely. Or B) Do a reverse version where Seb is curiously examining Audie's features (mainly the thick blubbery skin & flesh around their abdomen) which ends up tickling them a lot~ Accidentally at first but then... ;-)

[ conceeeept ]

I ran out of drawing energy tonight but I genuinely did wanna build on this. Like I warned y'all earlier, this ended up just kind of being an exploratory piece than tickles, but they're still there if you squint.

Never ask me for anything again /nsrs /j

ouroboros

“You’re really pushing your luck.”

“2000 data and,” They pressed, “You can check mine out, too.”

“I don’t want to.”

“Liar.”

“... 3000.”

“2500.”

“Fine. But –”

“You call the shots. Wouldn’t have it any other way!”

So that, long and short, was how Audie ended up seated against the wall behind Sebastian’s tail, practically being crushed by the weight but not seeming to mind too much. Anyone else, and he might’ve actually finished the job – but the Assets were different from the Expendables, and he’d been patient enough until now to know they’d respect a firm no when he’d truly had enough.

Too sweet for their own good – but in this case, he couldn’t truly complain. He’d take their hand gently running across the length of his scales over scalpels and vinyl gloves any day. 

Not that it stopped him, of course. But still.

There was a mutual curiosity he was interested in exploring, at least passively. They’d both been subject to very similar experiments and changes, though the result was certainly wildly different between them. At least they had their legs, he mused somewhat bitterly, though he knew it still came at a cost.

“Your tail must be crazy strong,” They commented, applying a little pressure with the heel of their palm and just missing a knot in the muscle he hadn’t realized was there. He fought to swallow a groan at that, his fins twitching; “You’re built like a brick house under there.”

“It has its uses. Carries all the stock, after all.”

Sebastian turned his gaze upon the scattered straps and belts and supplies on the ground, silently bemoaning the process of re-attaching them all he’d have to go through once Audie’d had their fill. The asset themself giggled softly, giving his tail a gentle pat as they moved downwards.

“It’s cool! Yours is smoother than I thought it would be, too.”

“Seriously?”

“Yeah! The way the light hits your scales, I thought it’d be more bumpy.”

He decided to withhold the fact that his scales would stiffen up underwater for now – had to keep some things a mystery, after all – and simply rolled his eyes, leaning a shoulder against the wall nearest to him and watching them with his arms crossed. Admittedly, it was a little endearing how fascinated they seemed to be. 

It was almost enough to distract him from how much he despised his new form.

Almost.

“Are you done yet, or…?”

“Do you want me to be done?”

They met his gaze evenly, and he could only huff in reply, the tip of his tail twitching in their hands. Yes, but no, was the honest answer – and fuck that. Regardless, Audie took his silence as ongoing permission, and continued onwards with their investigation.

More than once, their claws dragged in just such a way to prompt his tail to jerk – more than once, he’d choked on a snort and cast them a withering look that they either ignored or missed. The sensation was more annoying than anything, yet still sent nervous butterflies through his system.

And then their hands were on his fins, and his breath hitched – barely-perceptible, thank God, but still embarrassing. Their thumbs gently pressed down where the flesh of his fins met the scales of his tail, tapering into either texture, and that almost felt nice.

Their claws trailing over the delicate skin, however, was not something he could tolerate for long – and with a stifled snort, his tail jerked. Audie squeaked with annoyance as he smacked them in the face. An unintended attack, granted, but still…

Deserved.

“T-Time’s up, knock it off,” He chimed quickly, pulling his tail off of them entirely and willing his gills to relax where they’d flared up from the nerves. God, that would’ve sucked immensely. Audie pouted, but allowed him the opportunity to call it, standing up and stretching with a groan of their own. 

“Alright. My turn, then – how d’you wanna do this?”

It took a little thought and finagling, but the two of them settled for letting them sit on his tail and lean against his body, their back to his front. Their tail curled up between their legs like a pool toy, and they playfully drooped the fins over their own head before allowing him to take the limb in his hands.

Just like his, Sebastian could feel the muscle underneath – powerful and developed, though the joints themselves felt stiff as he manipulated the limb. Audie seemed to wince when he pressed down, and he grunted – concerned, against his better judgement.

“Doesn’t hurt,” They assured without further prompting; “I mean – it does, when the meds wear off, but it’s good for now. It’s just – the bone problem… My tail was grafted on.”

“Mm. That’s right… You mentioned.”

They hadn’t. But they overshared so much that they didn’t remember that. He, meanwhile, remembered reading their file. 

“Is it numb right now?”

“No… Soft touches don’t feel like much, with the painkillers n’ all.”

A bitter twinge of mild jealousy sprouted in Sebastian’s chest – at least they wouldn’t be having an embarrassing, dumb reaction – though he was quickly proven wrong when a bit of pressure applied on either side of their tail made it twitch and prompted a strangled noise from them.

“Uh?”

“Uh.”

A beat, and he snorted, tilting his head down at them as he let up on the squeeze.

“... You good?”

“Kinda? It felt like – you know when someone pinches that point at the back between your shoulders and neck?”

Well. It’d been literal decades, but – “Sure.”

“That - hhHAAH, hey!”

Sebastian chuckled to himself as he pressed down again, and Audie whined, pressing back against him as their tail jerked in his hand – woefully helpless, what with their size difference. With a second hand, he experimentally ran a claw of his own over their fin, pressing down just enough to prompt a soft squeal.

Audie’s back arched, and they kicked lightly at the new addition to their torment, shaking their head.

“Nonononono that’s so bad that’ssobadstop!”

“Geeze, you’re gonna break the sound barrier at this rate…”

He longed to push his own luck a little – but courtesy given was courtesy returned, at least, and Audie hadn’t done him wrong. So, begrudgingly, he relented, and Audie slid off him to plop on the ground, curling their tail around their body and holding it close. Sebastian craned his neck to grin down at them, amused.

“So much for not being sensitive, huh?”

“Shut it. As if I didn’t catch your reaction earlier.”

“... Touche. I won’t take advantage if you won’t.”

“Deal.”

That deal would, inevitably, break – but not before they helped him get all the belts and supplies back on. Hopefully. 

[insert-the-4thwall-entity]

I am now making an mainly NSR(crossover) AU that is sorta inspired by 'Humans are Space Orcs' -

It's called 'Beyond the human comprehension'.

So, one of our main guys is DJ Subatomic Supernova. He's not just some orb headed person now, he's now something else-ish. A lore-relevant thing here (which is inspired by @owlygem's 'Celestial somebody') is that all of the stars and anything that came from it (like supernova remnants and blackholes) are sentient. They can manifest into people and are way too intelligent. Most supernova remnants forget who they were after their death and reincarnation. SubSup is a special case. He's a nebula-blackhole hybrid remnant(his helmet is a seal made out of space-mana) who not only has all of his memories intact, but is also actually Kepler's Star. Hell, his first name id even Kepler. Some time after Kepler exploded, he starts to form into who he is now - DJ Kepler 'Subatomic Supernova' - the song artist and DJ which all of the aliens and stars from across the galaxies adore. (The 'subatomic' part is there, because he can sizeshift.) SubSup had visited alot of planets, galaxies and systems.

Kepler and our solar system's Sun are good friends and they would hang out somewhat regularly. After the crossing of the halfway point of the Midevil times, Sun starts to get more worried about the life on earth. The stars and aliens already knew about earth's existence, but the aliens are the most interested into humans. Sun would talk about how things are going in there with Kep, which slowly make Kep both worried for and interested in humanity. And by the year 2024, 420(lol) years since he exploded, Kepler finally decides to visit earth.

The first earthling SubSup met was Neon J, who was in a war PDST episode at the time. The first thing Kep did after spotting Neon - comfort and befriend him.

[The drawings below are concepts of how it went]

After that Neon then told Kep about the NSR - a company he's apart of that not only partnered with the government and is actively solving the energy problems with sound/music to power processors-generators, but is also trying to help the world to become a much, MUCH better place. Kepler really like what he heard, so he now wants to help the NSR with his music and infinite knowledge of pretty much everything in the multiverse and beyond. Hell, even NSR CEO Tatiana Qwartz couldn't believe that there's a celestial entity apart of her company. DJ SubSup pretty much became a hit amongst our human society and Neon J, along with his troops(1010), promised to help Kepler understand humans and human culture more.

When the aliens learned that SubSup is curently at earth, they became more motivated to reach out us humans, which leads to our other two main guys, which are ocs-

Juno Starlyn and Nexus Blee.

Juno is a big neurodivergent admirer of astronomy and spacecore who is struggling to adapt to the societal norm. When she caught wind of DJ SubSup's arrival and mission she immediately reached out to him and Neon, so she could help with their plans. They, with Tatiana and the government's permission, accept her.

Nexus is the first alien to step on earth. They're from planet TOI 1338 b aka Wolftopia and they're just a little goober. Juno was the first human they met. Them and Juno's personalities and relationship mildly resembles that of Say and Arc's from Ghost(and pals)'s 'The chattering lack of common sense'.

That's about it for now -

There'll be a post reveling what other fandoms are in this -

Lemme know if this is something you'd like to see

[hals-homo-blog]

Ponycard Art Dump

I don't remember *when* exactly I did these. I think like, in the fall of 2023? Maybe? Memory Loss? Help?

I HAD SOOOO MUCH FUN DESIGNING PONYCARD. Is he a changeling? Is he an Alicorn God? Who knows, that's the thing about LuLu, he loves to keep people guessing. I gave him kind of a medium build for the usual Alucard form, then I think Vladcard should be a proper Clydesdale, retaining the bat wings and pointy horn. Would pre-vampirism Vlad be an Earth Pony or something?? I dunno, I feel like one of the more knowledgeable Alucard-loving blogs like @/michi-tala would be better able to answer that kind of thing, but for now, this is all I know lol. Allycard gives me Unicorn vibes, esp with the predominantly white color palette, but I haven't read/watched her stories, so again, I don't *really* know. My expertise is in the base Hellsing Ultimate/Gonzo lore XD

I didn't finish the first one bc it looks so good and I was scare of fucking it up. A good artists knows to quit when they're ahead. /nsrs

I'm gonna put all the self-ship stuff under the cut Because I Am Still Shy About This One 😭

I know I have not shared any Halcyon lore on here, so I'll do like, a brief recap. She was a 'Hal' originally (and she was a dude at that time) then she just sort of?? Took on her own character?? As this sort of tsundere kind of Vitorian Era vampiress. She was a peasant to begin with in a no-name village. The village was torn apart by ghouls and Alucard essentially found her dying after fighting for her home, do you want to be a vampire, sexy bite, you get the idear. Then they've basically been married for 250~ years after that.

I made her too fucking small in the last one and it's Pissing me Off that I got the scaling wrong but I got the anatomy and the expressions so Spot On I couldn't redraw it *bites my arm off bites my arm off bites my arm off bites my arm off.*

Halcyon is smaller than Alucard, I mean, he's an Alicorn and she's an Earth Pony for crying out loud, but still, that's too damn small.

I love the way LuLu looks in these ngl. I need to get back to drawing Hellsing ponies, Ponycard was *really* fun to draw.

[erigold13261]

All the Ilias are looking gorgeous so far! (Especially the Miku hair Ilia!) Question: what would a purely NSR Ilia look like? Would he be a robot? Or a NPC human?

He'd be human. Most likely some kind of elemental.

I asked a friend what kind of elemental/theme thing I would be, and they gave a really sweet but also abstract answer, mainly connected with like the weather and clouds and mystery.

Don't know what I am gonna do with that, this is just a very early design for NSR Ilia. Really I just wanted to make sure I get the idea of transparent skin and sewing needles earrings with hair going into them down before I forgot.

Basically the earrings, middles hair bit, and transparent skin are the only factors I really am down for. I like the eye, but need to play around with that more (as well as play with the hands more too).

But yea, NSR Ilia is probably one of the Ilias who doesn't have his sight unlocked and is basically a fairly normal human.

I actually have the funny idea that he is the one who makes the doll designs for NSR lol. I was gonna have Ilia have a hobby of sewing and making dolls (something I can't do but really want to learn to do one day), and was even gonna draw Ilia with Dagon making a lil Dagon plush (here's a wip of that)

So I think it would be really nice if NSR Ilia was just a doll designer or prototyper for NSR. Which is also really funny to think about considering the new Eve doll is up for preorder now!

Yea, still need to work some more on his design. Literally just made this in like 10 minutes to finally get that hair and earring idea finally out of my head. But expect some changes at some point!

[gamebunny-advance]

*Sigh*

I was really looking forward to Art Fight this year because I've never done it before. I wanted to do it because I thought it would give me something to do. An excuse to draw things that weren't NSR or Kun3h0 for a bit. I just wanted to have fun with it.

But since natural disaster took me out for half of the event time, and other life stuff kinda piling up, I've just got no motivation to do it anymore. If I start now, I'll feel like I'm rushing to participate for the sake of itself rather than having fun with it like I originally wanted.

I'll try to do revenges for the attacks I got, and maybe a couple of the ones I bookmarked before the month ends, but I really didn't get to experience this event the way I wanted to.

[yourlocalabstraction]

ok FINALLY some new merch updates!!!

Fandoms: (Good Omens + Cult of the Lamb)

Sorry I’ve been gone so long again, I’m really busy irl and I’m not doing the best. Nonetheless, I do have news regarding my shop!!!

Good Omens Badge Reels/Crepe Charms

I’ve placed an order for some of these!! They might take a month or two to arrive, but do note they will eventually be real!!!

(Fun fact: i did the artwork for these around April of last year. I remembered how skrunkly they are and thought they would be perfect for merch)

I also have these concepts!!!!! They would be quicksand charms with glitter/sequins in the back. Idk if I have to motivation to draw these as of right now so it may be a bit

COTL Bishop Pillow (Charms?)

Ok uh would anyone be interested in these? If so, please lmk what product you’d prefer them as:

Regarding the Jash CD charms

Uhhh sadly I had to scrap these. I haven’t heard back from CJ regarding permission to make them, and plus I already have 2 CCCC items in my shop, and I need a more diverse selection of products (plus, I totally understand if CJ doesn’t want some lil guy on the internet capitalizing off his face /nsrs /silly)

So yeah !!!! Thank you guys for bearing with me despite my inactivity. Also happy Easter ^_^

[puppyocto]

I’m so sorry I’ve been thinking of the property police and I think this may be a little out of character for them but. You know the song ‘No more birthdays’? Idk why but them and that song have been stuck on my mind on REPEAT. I don’t know why. Like..Martyn watching as Jimmy drifts away and feels empty because Jimmy was his best friend! He stayed around him and they lived together. Martyn begging the Watchers to bring back his ball of perfection (I love that lyric in the song so much). Also headcanon Jimmy had braces in Evo :3

Angsty thought but, what if in Evo Martyn only saw Jimmy was a property? (No pun intended ;3) Like A prize he got. He didn’t really do much with Jimmy and helped out. Jimmy was off doing all these adventures WITHOUT Martyn. I think Martyn slowly realised that Jimmy didn’t need him, he was becoming his own person. Which not true third life proves this I will die on this hill I HATE the flower husbands. Stone me call me a witch and burn me but I hate them. Ranchers are so much better prove me wrong.

Oh god I see why you are associating this song with them, cause we see so distinctly Jimmy growing and getting more independent. I can fully imagine Martyn not wanting Jimmy to keep again and improving.

I do love the braces head cannon if you’ve seen sharkful-nen’s young Jimmy drawing, he has braces there and I love it so much. (Young Jimmy hurts me)

Why do you have to mention bad things about Martyn and Jimmy do you want to me to be sad anon (/nsrs). I can definetely see Jimmy treated as like the poster kid of property police a little, he’s the face a little and like he does a lot of the grindy work but he’s not Martyn, he doesn’t hold the power he can’t even defend himself (just rewatched the episode 5 bit where everyone’s criticising the property police and Jimmy doesn’t say anything)

I’m going to be honest you lost me a little in the last section but you’re right I hate Flower husbands but in that way we’re they’re very interesting to me and all I think about constantly. Ranchers are cute we do love them (I am worried when I rewatch double life with my new Jimmy eyes something will happen and I will see something bad in them but for now we love them)

[spiderwebd]

(continuimng from last ask/answer) i understand it though, to be fair

but also as a boombox kin who draws boombox frequently i am now afraid to post him because i do not want to fuel your possible addiction /lhj /nsrs /aff

No noo you should DEFINITELY post them I think it would REALLY funny and REALLY silly if you did I think it would just be PEAK comedy just absolutely PEAK comedy uh huh yep absolutely /silly+nf

[breadbox-draws]

waddles around holding this doodle up like a fridge drawing i’m really proud of

I don’t remember if I’ve posted about him before, but this is KK back when he was just another AU copy character in NSR. I’ve changed his design since then, and i’m much happier with this one!

some more crumbs of information about this guy and the design choices under the readmore!

Here’s pics of his old art from a couple of years ago:

His concept used to be that he was a miniboss that had to be knocked around a bit because he was using up too much electricity in his flashy shows. The concept now is that he runs minigame challenges throughout the dark corners of the city, and you can get trinkets if you win!

Most of his aesthetic is based around being able to see him move around in a dark room (tied to a gameplay gimmick; i’ll elaborate on those later), so he had a more tech feel to his outfit in the first draft. Yknow, putting the ‘electronic’ in ‘electronic dance music’. It was simple enough to feel clean, but the shapes didn’t mesh well with each other, and the overall look was a little cold

In the second draft, i wanted to lean into the ‘dragonfly’ part of his theme more (his stage name “Dragonflyte” was a retroactive decision after the look of his light wings), as well as making the rest of his outfit a little more casual than.. Guy In Tech Tights… since he’s meant to be a regular civilian that just so happens to have some cool gadgets to pull off cool shows. so there’s an actual set of shirt and pants underneath the boots and gloves!, decorated with reflective designs (resembling the body of a dragonfly) to make him pop under a blacklight environment

if you got this far, thank you for reading and looking at my son! <3

[n3hmof1sh]

rrrraAAAAAAAAAAAHH!!!!!!! going bird mode im gonna start screeching

wwwwhfhdlkfjvkjh ii i wanna tear myself apart limb by limb like a doll. everything feels like too much everything feels WRONG I WANT IT GONE GONE GONE GET OFFFFFFFFFFFFF

ough the urge to pull my head off of my neck and jus. just get it offfff just get everything OFF!!! im not gonna do it obv but god if it wasnt painful and didnt kill me i would do it immediately. i wish i had the anatomy of a doll or robot or smth i really just wanna pick myself apart without pain or bleeding or wtv it'd feel good

and i am CHOPPING MY FOOT OFF!! IN THE SAME WAY!!! I AM PULLING IT OFF PAINLESSLY SO I DONT FEEL IT HURTING ANYMOREEE GET OFFFFFF >:(

Duuude I have to fucking go back to school on monday ofc bc school started and i can barely walk on this foot so if it doesnt heal by monday (literally in 2 days) im gonna kmsssssss (/nsrs on the kms part)

oou now that im thinking ab it i really wanna stab myself in the stomach... with a knife... like thats an urge i get a lot. I wont bc it hurts !! and would kill me !! but idk i just rlly wish i could do it without pain or risk of death bc gawd damn it'd be nice. idk i think it's smth ab the pressure of the knife going through my skin or wtv the thought of it would be rlly nice i just dont want the pain that comes with it :'3

why is the thought of harming my body smth i want so bad yet i dont want it due to it being painful like. i think there's smth wrong with my brain or smth ._.''

ANYWAY I WANT TO TEAR MYSELF TO SHREDSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS repeating myself for the 200th time i genuinely rlly wish i could just. bite and claw and scratch and stab and tear and cut and snap and break and pull apart my body without pain, like i can just put myself back together like a robot or smth.... guh maybe its smth with my sensory issues idk

mmmph. obv none of that is anything i can do irl (again for the reason of Pain and Death) but something i WOULD actually be able to do that i'd want in order to fix it is to fUCKING SWITCH WITH SOMEONE PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD I JUST WANT OUT OF THIS BODY. THIS BODY FEELS WRONG WRONG WRONGGG I WANT OUT LEMME OUT. CANT SOMEONE TAKE OVER FOR LIKE A FEW HOURS??? NO APPARENTLY NOT BC OUR FUCKASS BRAIN BE LIKE NUH UH SWITCHES ARENT AVALIABLE FOR THIS SYSTEM COME BACK NEXT WEEK

dies dies dying dies i wanna suffocate myselfffffffff /nsrs

slams head on desk

ok im done now

Hbabshe that sounds like a lot to deal with...

I get these feelings a LOT so you're definitely not alone!! I... uh.... I for once dont have advice on how to ease these feelings other than stuff that includes pain, so...

But you know what? Are you able to draw? If so, try vent art!!! I find that listening to music that suits how I feel at the moment while drawing one of my blorbos going through something worse then meeee (I will not name which Blorbo but honestly you probs already know)

Honestly, this feeling is going to come down and ambush you at least TWICE in your life, so it's best to make sure you have something to distract yourself from it to make it better!!!!!

Ahahegshs I dont exactly know how to help you with the switching fronts part since, well, yknow, Im not a perma front-stuck host........ but you're going to be okay, Wayko!!! Think of when you're older!! All the stuff you can do and how you can make yourself ten times comfortable in your skin!!!! You'll be able to get top surgery!!! You'll be able to do so much once your old enough!!!! You got this Wayko!!!!!!!!!!! Everything is going to be okay, whether it's tomorrow or the next year, it's gonna turn out okay one way or another!!!!

[corruptimles]

Once your computer's back to normal, what do you think is gonna be your new background and icon for May? Mayday again? Some of your objectheads? Something really old like your favorite of the Sillyvision AU or the Modley or Amonglee crew?

My computer is working now! I just need to finish redownloading all the programs and games I had before

It's not Mayday but I've chosen my old Shakalaka BAM zine piece which is also NSR if that counts. Sorry, Mayday. The icon is a Modley one because I want to draw them more;;

Edit: the icon is Wawa now because he's funny

Still in a mp100 and kamen rider kick (ha) as of late, but I don't have any art of those I want to use right now or haven't used already. No promises my icon won't suddenly be a Dimple jumpscare some days

[someone1348]

I loved your Rottmnt tickle headcanons for the brother squad! May I be bold and ask if you've got any for Draxum?

PEOPLE ACTUALLY WANT TO HEAR MORE AHH! Anon this made my day! Absolutely I can give you Draxum!! And I'm so glad you liked my brother squad headcannons! /p /pos /gen

Spoilers ahead!!! So be warned!

-Getting straight to the point this man is a raging Lee!

-He's a Grumpy, Stoic, Lee!

-Mr "I hate humans" yeah right okay you must "hate tickling" too huh? Lee! /lh /nsrs

-Honestly he didn't know what tickling was at first but eventually he learned from his goyles and well that was it he liked it ever since

-He wouldn't tell a soul of course! but it's clear to see

-When he had his powers and was creating the ("immatation crab men") *cough* *cough* mutants sorry! /j /lh /pos He thought he was untouchable but the turtles showed him pretty quickly that he was as fragile as the flowers he could grow

-The only ones who really knew and would tickle him every now and again were Huginn and Muninn and even then it was rare for Draxum to get physical touch

-Now once he lost his power and most of his physical form and Mikey took him in he got a lott more tickles then

-Dr Positive really comes through in this situation (aka Mikey)

-Mikey, slowly but surely, got him back to being okay with physical touch again and once he accidentally revealed that he was ticklish he was doomed

-Mikey tickles him the most but most of the boys and Splinter use that as their way of getting back at him

-When tickling him Leo loves to give the excuse of "you threw me off a roof, you deserve this" it works every time he "complains" about it

-He's mostly ticklish on his stomach, that's why his old armor covered that area the most (also to not get hurt of course but still)

-Mikey is the most gentle, Splinter is not allowed near him, Leo is playful, Raph is in the middle it depends on the day, Donnie doesn't want to get involved but if he does he'll use his tech and April is also playful

-Honestly once they take him down a few pegs he's sweet

-Surprisingly full of giggles when tickled, of course his stomach is full on laughter but everywhere else it's giggle city

---------------------------------------------------

-Honestly he just needs this pick me up, it helps everything and everyone

-someone give him a hug!

-if he does ler though it's usually Mikey and he absolutely will use his vines to either hold people down or tickle them or both!

-He's very powerful no matter what so don't get on his bad side lol

Honestly these are kinda bad and short but I'm drawing blanks lol! I hope you enjoy them regardless! /p /gen /pos

-K :]

[samejimachich]

First apologies, it's not positive post. but I want to say it now. Of course I know it doesn't help me now from someone cheer me, and My life-hack is "Never trust deeply for other." and "When I really want someone to help me, however they can't help me in the real sence. Because it's own fault."

gah, how negative am I… but sorry, it's me.

Honestly, I feel so bad now. Bad? no, it's void. and tired. I don't know when my heart was broken, but now I feel really void for my life, and want to run away from my family.

Maybe, most cause from my mother. My mother almost denies my thought. And she pretends to have understanding of art, but I don't forget she said me once "throw it away your trashes." those were fanbook or original comics that I made. And my parents always say when they look my works "huh, you've become better at drawing than you were a kid, but how much money you make from drawing?" They never know those words are not supportive. Of course acturally I'm not working of art now, and I still fear working on company or with someone, because of a power harassment I received at work from an acquaintance.

So what I meant to say is… My passion has gone without my knowledge, but I'm still drawing with tiny tiny joy, because of NSR. It's my last hope for now… So if you don't have disgust to me, I hope you enjoy my art from now on.

Please only enjoy my art, don't care me. it should think separate from art and artist.

So sorry for long, boring monologue.

Thank you.

[erigold13261]

Anon who can’t draw here. Why do you think NSR and Psyconauts characters all look so queer(affectionate) and attractive? (Attractive as in top tier character design) i would like an opinion of an artist

Love you!

Well it all depends on the person looking I would say. Someone who is a bigot and likes these games would deny that any of them look queer. Others might say a character is horribly drawn if they aren't sexualized. And then some people sees a "bad" character design (one that seems to be universally hated) and still love it to bits.

However, I do think that a large portion of the eccentric-ism of each game, in both design form and storytelling form, is a huge factor of why "less normal" people like these games (so people who aren't cishet or neurotypical). Both games really play with shapes and colors along with darker topics (even if it's just implied). So already there will be a disproportionate amount of "not normal" people already in these fandom spaces.

That alone counts for a large portion of people seeing these characters as queer, which can affect the media as a whole as people who look up fanart/fic of these games are now seeing more queer headcanons or art that shows off things they didn't realize were subtly implied or referenced to in the game.

But also, with in-game reasons, I would say Psychonauts having a canonically gay couple does help make other characters look queer, or at least accepting of queerness (which helps people see those characters as some flavor of queer even if it's not fully implied or something). Then there's the fact that those games talk about mental illness, healing, getting support from your family, love, all things that a lot of queer and neurodivergent people want in media without it being made a joke or villainized. (Plus the added angst is something that really helps people connect and possibly project onto characters).

Similar reasons for NSR, where the game kinda promotes shipping in the sense of Sayu talking about love and May with 1010 (and all the retweets and shares from Metronomik being cool with ships) so already there will be people who ship queer relationships, which then get promoted by the game company, leading people to see this as a soft canon. And even though I think Eve is the only confirmed queer person (She's demisexual, but correct me if i'm wrong about the others being or not confirmed) there are still a lot of queer coding in these characters (one being Neon afraid to dance/not liking his body and wanting to make 1010 look more masculine, which can be seen as trans-coded, at least to me).

The story itself of NSR is also something that resonates with queer and neurodivergent people. It is about overcoming an oppressor, making amends with friends and family, learning how to communicate, dealing with mental illness as well. The story itself is a big factor of people liking this game, since gameplay can be lacking at times. The characters have depth but also allow for a LOT of manipulation in their story and behavior as they are not as fleshed out compared to like Psychonaut characters.

I am starting to lose focus. I probably have more to say about NSR but I'm gonna go into the design/visuals for now.

Design wise, the characters are unique. Psychonauts plays around with shapes really well, especially when constructing hair and facial proportions. And NSR, though a bit standard in how it presents bodies, still has unique silhouettes and character designs (especially with DJ and Mama), not to mention the colors are vibrant and not natural (psychonauts tries to stick in a more "realistic" color palette at least in the real world but still plays around with their colors).

So like, the attractiveness/top teir character design, comes from strong and unique proportions along with cohesive color design. Shape theory is also a really good thing that goes into character design. Like my favorite thing about NSR is how physically different Eve is, even though she is a human (supposedly) she is built differently to show how she feels like an outcast. And then you have characters like Helmut who, even though still fits in with the rest of the cast, is extremely big but still shows off how soft he can be instead of being intimidating with his size (also love the fact that he's probably the biggest extrovert and still has anxiety/panic attacks).

Even just the color of the characters is important. 1010 have super bright and saturated colors to them, but only one color each and black and white covers most of their body to give breathing room to their designs. As Sayu's phases progress, more and more colors appear, but all the colors are complimenting each other instead of fighting for dominance.

Looking just at Helmut, both mental world and character design. Lots of colors and shapes are being used, but nothing is fighting for dominance a lot of the time. You are still able to see where you need to go most of the time in the game, and Helmut's design has a breathing room for the eyes to rest on (such as the black of his coat and his face area).

So yeah, the combination of character design (visual and vocal) and the story really are the main contributing factors for a lot of these characters being well liked and either queer-coded or canonically queer. Hopefully this made sense, I basically just woke up so yeah lol.