#i REALLY DESPISED the school bathrooms. id go during the first year in elementary and HATED IT A LOT ever since so to make sure | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aria0fgold · 6 hours

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WAIT!!! I just remembered something. Core memory unlocked but like-- slightly bad one. Is there long lasting damage to the stomach from being starved for long periods of time? I think my stomach got fucked cuz of that actually.

#aria rants #i was just listening to music and then sudden thought occurred to me like: ''whoa... wait a minute-- is my fucked up stomach a result #of the consequences of my actions in the past?'' it isnt as bad as it sounds-- i think-- but basically when i was still going to school #i REALLY DESPISED the school bathrooms. id go during the first year in elementary and HATED IT A LOT ever since so to make sure #i Very Rarely or Not Ever use it at all. id rarely eat. cuz my logic during then is: dont eat = dont need to drink water = no bathroom use #it was alright during elementary cuz school only lasted until 12 pm during then so i get to eat properly still (eat breakfast at home)#but it got worse during junior high. cuz id be going home in the afternoon around 3 pm? 4 pm? smth and yet-- i still continued to not eat #id eat only breakfast at home before going to school and never again unless i got Really hungry that id eat some snacks and proceed #to not drink anything at all. that continued on until senior high but its less bad cuz the bathroom in that school was Way Better #it was cleaner and less dirty so i didnt mind that one but i still refused to go anyway so id still rarely eat and drink #my mom would be packing foods for me to eat at school as a just in case i would eat em but i still didnt so id just eat those at home #the consequences of my actions haunts me even though years had gone by...

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