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fuchsiagrasshopper · 4 years ago

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Contending the Flame XI

Author’s note: This chapter kept going on for a while so I had to cut it off somewhere which means next chapter will have Hvitserk and Ivar in Vestfold. This chapter progresses readers part a lot though and I’m very pleased with how it turned out. I’ve also reached 200 followers so I’m considering making a writing challenge for fun. Thanks to all of you who have made this happen!

Masterlist

Pairing: Ivar x Reader

Word Count: 2716

Warnings: The usual

After many days and nights at the open water, you came to land by notice of a raven. The birds were intelligent creatures and held a deeper context in their religion. You were beginning to feel the early traces of curiosity rearing. When the longboat had slipped into silent spells, you would try to listen to pieces of conversations and make sense of the strange fables and gods. By the time you were passing into the fjord, you were struck with the guilt that a day had passed and you had forgotten to pray to God.

The sight of the foreign city had you leaping up and hanging over the ledge of the boat to catch a better glimpse. The idea of different lands always seemed so fantastical to the point of myth, yet here you were pulling into a dock. It was a dark and cold place, besieged by tall cliffs of iron rock. The sun was already low, and it wasn't even midday yet.

For all of its murky preface, you still couldn't shake your excitement at arriving in Kattegat. It appeared you were the only one wearing a smile. The rest of your shipmates were stricken with sullen faces, and Ubbe was addressing the warriors.

"Lagertha's watch will already know we're here, so be prepared for questioning when we tie-up," He said. "Remember, we aren't here to start a war, or to win back Kattegat. We're looking for answers about the spy sent into our army."

"But Lagertha is your enemy," One of the men piped up. "Aren't you going to fight her regardless of that matter?"

Ubbe appeared frustrated. "Only when all of the sons of Ragnar have come to an agreement will we fight."

There was more chatter and bickering in hushed whispers as Ubbe tried to reign in the rabble. You watched on, wanting to help the eldest brother, but you knew your powerlessness. Audhild was beside you observing as well, and she made a harsh noise in her throat that resembled a laugh.

"Ubbe doesn't care to avenge his mother," She said offhandedly.

You paused a moment, not knowing if she wanted you to answer or if it was just her way of airing her outrage. "What do you mean?"

"Lagertha was the one who murdered Queen Aslaug. Some say to win back Kattegat, while others would have you believe it was revenge on her luring Ragnar away."

Ivar had spoken briefly about his mother, but you weren't aware of the entire history until this moment. "And what do you believe?"

"I believe Aslaug wanted to die and bewitched Lagertha into being the one to do it. She was a sad woman, made empty by the disappointing King Ragnar. There's no question that Lagertha is the better Queen, but reasoning won't reach slighted loved ones. Ivar will never allow Lagertha peace."

You looked into the healer's eyes and saw the truth of what she spoke. It was tragic. "How will you Northmen ever triumph over the Saxons, when you're too busy killing each other?"

Audhild barked out a brisk chuckle. "Smarter leaders than you or I have said much the same, yet here we are plotting to steal back Kattegat while Harald Finehair plans to launch an assault to win him rule over all of Norway. These are bold choices, and actions worthy of Valhalla. There's much you don't understand, nun."

"I wish I did," You murmured, feeling foolish.

Audhild studied you and seemed to determine you were genuine. "Perhaps you will, now that you're here. I don't think you'll see England again."

The mention of that didn't alarm you as much as it should have. You felt a pang of sadness, but not for the loss of England. That place had never felt like home. Nowhere ever had, and that was the root of your melancholy. You didn't have a place to belong, just a series of unfamiliar destinations had come and gone.

As the ship slowly coasted up to the wharf, there weren't many onlookers, and you chalked that up to being that these people witnessed boats coming and going at all times. One ship wasn't enough to warrant too much attention. If anyone took a second glance, it was because of Ubbe. Those sons of Ragnar drew attention wherever they went, and it must have been unusual for him to be seen without the others present.

When the boat docked, the crew immediately leapt to unloading the few provisions that had been packed aboard. You kept close to Audhild, unsure where your usefulness lied. You wanted to go and have a gander at the city, but you knew you couldn't just spring out on your own.

"Ólaug," Ubbe called, and your head snapped up at attention. "I want you to remain with Audhild for now. I'll likely be called to meet with Lagertha. I can see some of her shieldmaidens have been sent to treat with us."

You stared over his shoulder to the three women approaching. They were dressed in boiled leather and metal and armed with swords and bows, not unlike the maidens you had seen serving in the army.

"Ólaug? Did Ivar tell you to call me that?"

Ubbe flustered as if it had escaped him unnoticed that little slip-up. "He might have mentioned it, and I don't know your real name."

You sighed, but more from contentment than anger. The name had stuck, and it was something else to remind you about Ivar. "It's alright. I will try to keep out of trouble to make things easier for you."

"Good," He nodded in relief.

Ubbe was the first to hoist his way onto the dock, and you followed close behind him with Audhild and a group of warriors. By then the three shieldmaidens had made their way down to the water, and a golden blonde with intense eyes ringed in kohl stepped forward.

"You're missing something, Ubbe," She started, gathering a look at the rest of his party. "Where are your brothers?"

"Not missing, just separated. What I thought was best for the army no longer aligned with where Ivar and Hvitserk wanted to take it."

The warrior woman appeared unconvinced. "So you thought you'd return here, after threatening to overthrow Lagertha with Ivar the last time."

You tried to contain your surprise at that. Apparently, the feud between the sons and this Lagertha ran deeper than you could comprehend.

"I wished to return home, and to my wife. The ones who came with me sought the same," Ubbe explained. "Please, Torvi. I will give my share of the raids to Lagertha if that's what she wants, but I did not come here for title or glory."

The woman, Torvi, pondered over his words. "I would be less inclined to believe you if Ivar were present, but our scouts reported that you were the only ship to cross the fjord. Perhaps I can have Lagertha grant you a private meeting, but just with you, not even Margrethe would attend."

"I accept that," He agreed. "Do we have permission to disembark? My crew are tired and thirsty."

Torvi took another glance at all of you, and you found it difficult to meet her eyes when they fell upon you.

"You may, and have all of your gold brought to the Queen."

That was where the negotiations ended at least for the time being. You didn't know what task had been entrusted to Ubbe by Ivar, and you thought it better if you didn't know. Torvi led her two companions away back through the streets of Kattegat, and all while Ubbe watched her depart.

"I'm sure others are watching," He commented. "Don't mention Ivar or Hvitserk while out in public."

There was a collective agreement that reverberated from the group, and Audhild took a step forward.

"If Torvi is here, does that mean Bjorn is still in Kattegat?"

Ubbe shook his head. "I'm sure he made for the Mediterranean as he wanted to. Besides, even before we made for England, there were whispers of their marriage failing. Torvi serves his mother now."

As more names were idly tossed in the air, you began to grow more confused and out of place. The Northmen had as many struggles in their leadership as the Saxons, and you wondered if there was a place in this world that wasn't rife with betrayal.

"Come, Ólaug," Audhild's voice broke through your internal fretting. "There's something I must tell you, and it shouldn't be done with so many eyes around."

You frowned in confusion, but when you looked to Ubbe he gave Audhild a swift nod of dismissal. Whatever it was regarding, he knew about it.

You departed the dock, leaving the others to unload the heavy boxes of gold and treasures. Some of it you knew was from the ransacked church in York, but it didn't bother you to see it brought back into foreign lands. What Ivar had said before about the church hoarding wealth was true. Better it to be distributed among this trading post than in the hands of old men who preached righteousness but committed avarice.

You had been anticipating with some excitement to walk through the market stalls of Kattegat, but Audhild was not leading you to the city. She was headed in the direction of a path through the woods, and you weren't sure if you should feel nervous. The sounds of the crowd were growing distant, and you wondered if you should be preparing to run. Audhild may have been a healer, but she was thick in the shoulders and could still likely beat you in a fight.

"Where are we going?" You asked, and your voice shook.

Audhild tossed a glance your way and let out a laugh. "Don't look so nervous, Christian. Do you think I'd kill you now when I could have disposed of you all those times we worked alone back in York?"

It sounded silly out loud, and you ran a hand through your growing hair. "Sorry, I guess the forest made me nervous."

"You are paranoid, but I suppose it's better to be cautious. I would hold onto those instincts if I were you," She said while stepping over brush and deadfall. "And we're headed to my home. Ubbe and I agreed it would be better to keep you out of Kattegat until you've adjusted more. Some might not take to another Christian among us, not after Athelstan."

That was Ragnar's monk friend. Ivar had only mentioned him in passing, and it seemed he was not held in high regard. You supposed if the situation were reversed, and it was a heathen among Saxons, they would feel much the same.

Audhild continued to lead you along this long and difficult path, and the more the forest twisted, the less certain you were of your wayfinding skills. If you had to find the docks again, you didn't think you'd be able to. The dense trees provided decent shelter from the winds, however, and you had lost the prickly feeling on your skin that came from the cold.

"It's not much further now. I don't think I'll have much in the way of food, but I can provide drink and get a fire going," said Audhild.

You were used to going long bouts without a meal, but the fire sounded like heaven. Sleeping on a boat in constant motion wasn't the same as a bed or even a solid floor, and your aching back would welcome either.

The trees were beginning to thin until you found yourself in a small clearing in the woods. The ground was sun-dappled and leaf-covered, and a small house sat vacant in the center. You let out a small gasp, unable to describe what you were feeling at the sight of it.

"I know it isn't much, but it's all I've ever needed. I have no children, and I left for raids more than I was here."

"I think it's wonderful," You admitted. "But I've never had my own home before, and I gave up the need for one when I joined the abbey."

"Strange custom. What's a woman without a home?"

Had you not been a nun, it was likely you would not have had your own property anyway. It would have belonged to the man you would have chosen as a husband. You didn't bother to mention that to Audhild though. She was already looking at you as if you were the most peculiar creature.

"Can we go inside?" You asked, a sudden longing to be sheltered.

"In a moment," Audhild replied while holding you back. "I want to finish what I have to tell you now. Ivar wanted me to do this when we reached Kattegat and not a moment earlier."

At the mention of Ivar, your heart fluttered in both anticipation and concern. "What did he want you to do?"

Audhild took your hands, and she let the gruff expression on her face ease. "You are now made a free woman."

You blinked. If it wasn't for her strong grip on your hands, you were certain your arms would have fallen limp at your sides like dead meat on hooks. The words held much meaning, and you were afraid for whatever came next. You would have to fight the fear if you wanted to be seen as anything more than a coward. "I'm no longer a slave?"

"Yes, you stupid girl," Audhild said, letting go of you before you caught on to how soft she could be. "To be free amongst us gives you certain privileges and ensures you should be kept safer."

You didn't know what privileges she was speaking of, but the bit about being safe put you into a state of ease. "Why did he not free me himself before sending me here?"

"Can you not think of the reason?"

Shame perhaps? No, you banished the thought. Ivar was nothing if not prideful and likely would have wanted to free you himself if he could. You forced yourself to think of the circumstances of why he sent you away to be free, and then…

"If he freed me in York, I could have refused to come here," You spoke aloud and Audhild gave a resounding nod. "He thought I would refuse to stay with him."

"I'm not well acquainted with the Prince, but everyone in Kattegat knows of how he has been abandoned and lost those he cares for. I guess he wouldn't risk the same of you."

You felt guilty, but you didn't know why. As for whether or not you would have chosen to come to Kattegat yourself, you knew in your heart your answer. When you met Ivar again, you would have to make him understand how you felt. You wished he was beside you again, but you knew he had something more important to deal with and you refused to be a burden.

"What do I do now?"

"You come inside to warm up," Audhild said as she started for the door of her home. "And afterwards, we'll have to make sure you start to behave like a proper free woman because for the moment you look as lost as a fish on dry land."

You wanted to be insulted, but you knew the healer was right. You were far from home, and with a tenuous grasp of the language. What did it mean to be free, and among such strange folk as these Northmen whose religion you didn't fully understand?

You gathered the skirts of your slave frock and hurried after her. Perhaps to start you could buy new clothes. You also had not a coin to your name, and though you were capable with a needle and thread you couldn't make an entire new wardrobe with such paltry efforts. It seemed you would have to rely on the kindness of strangers for the time being, though the thought of that felt like charity. You would do what you could to assist Audhild in place of proper payment. She was calling for you again, for Ólaug. Only this time you didn’t spurn from the name, you ran towards it and the new freedom that Ivar the Boneless had gifted to you.

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#ivar x reader #ivar x you #ivar the boneless x reader #ivar the boneless #ivar ragnarsson #history vikings #vikings #vikings ivar #ivar lothbrok #ivar x y/n

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surveys-at-your-service · 4 years ago

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Survey #367

“i should warn you that you may fuck me, but chances are i’m gonna fuck you over”

Where was the last place you went for vacation? The beach. When was the last time you wore makeup? Halloween. Do you watch soaps or drama series? If so, which ones? Not currently. What’s your favourite tomato variety? I hate tomatoes. What was your very first pet like? Dad had a dog named Trigger when I was born, but I have no memory of her, so I'm excluding her. I consider our first family pet to be Chance, a cat my mom took in after finding her literally in the trash. She was... god, incredible. She was a loyal friend, and I can imagine no greater mother than she was (she legit fought off a rottweiler head-on to protect her kittens). She was so smart, so gentle, and just simply amazing. I'll always miss her. What was the best school project you remember doing? Looking back, despite the fact it TERRIFIED me before, that would be my senior project presentation. It was about snake misconceptions and fallacies, so I made a slideshow to present to the special ed class. I made drawings for them to color, word searches, all that kind of stuff. They were just the sweetest and seemed really into it. What’s your favourite type of fish to eat? None. What kind of an old person do you think you’ll become? I really... don't like thinking about this. Like I'm weak enough now at 25, I can't imagine how my, say, 60s would be. I hope and just about pray that my physical health will improve, but I'm just going to exclude that part entirely from this answer. Personality-wise and such, I have a feeling I'll be the quiet and sweet kind, the one that loves her (hopeful) spouse like crazy, and comes most alive on Halloween if I live in a place where children come trick-or-treating. I imagine I would LOVE that. I'd love to be the type that goes on morning jogs to help stay spry. Which well-known person’s death shocked you the most, if any? Steve Irwin and Chester Bennington might be tied. Both were so, so sudden. Steve was like, invincible to my childhood eyes, and when I heard about Chester's death, I thought it was just a sick rumor. Two amazing people that died way too soon. What’s the craziest colour you’d dye your hair? That would depend on personal opinions. I want to dye my hair LOTS of colors though, if that tells you anything. What’s the coolest hobby one of your friends has? Uhhhh. Idk. Name a video game you can play over and over again: Shadow of the Colossus. It's a pretty short game if you know what you're doing, and it's super relaxing to me and just so goddamn pretty to look at. Every time I've played it has just been a pleasant experience. Do you like meatloaf? Yeah, it's fine. How about Meatloaf? I know who he is, but I've never really listened to his music. Do you take time to do charitable work? If so, what do you do? No. ;_; Especially with all the free time I have, I really should... What is something that will make you laugh instantly? Okay, don't ask, but if I for a SECOND see that commercial of Mr. Clean dancing while he's cleaning, I will die because of memories. What is something you hope you will never inherit from a specific relative? Diabetes. It runs heavily in my family. Name a movie you wouldn’t watch solely based on its name: The Human Centipede. No. Thank you. Have you ever played in a stack of hay bales? No. What’s your dearest souvenir? The stuffed moose I got at Cabela's during a visit to Ohio. I named him Brownie, and he was my "childhood plushie" we all have. Is there a lot of graffiti around your neighbourhood? Not in the actual area I live in, but there are DEFINITELY places where it's a pigsty of distasteful shit. Have you ever made your own soda? (Soda Stream doesn’t count!) No. Do you have a hobby that forces you out of the house? If so, what is it? Nature photography. Have you ever been part of a theater group? No, that stuff doesn't interest me. What’s the most ecological thing you do? We recycle, and I also use metal straws. Would you stop eating meat, if you had to raise and slaughter it yourself? Absolutely. There is no fucking way I could do it. What’s your favourite board game? Why do you like it best? I like Clue just because of the mystery-solving factor, and I think it's kinda cool how you can think ahead and use other's findings to your own advantage to win the game pretty early. Besides English, what other languages can you speak? Some German. It's gotten pretty weak with neglect, though. Besides English, what other languages can you read? I can read German well. What thing/person/happening has made you the happiest you’ve been? This is a complicated answer that I just don't feel like elaborating on. What’s the most freeing thing you’ve ever done? Letting Jason go. Have you ever had a restaurant dish that was made with bugs? If not, would you even want to try one? No, and I'm not interested. Have you ever tasted birch sap? No. How about the young buds/shoots of spruce trees? No. Which edible flowers have you tasted? Honeysuckles. What has been your worst restaurant experience? Well, it's a fast food restaurant, but lemme tell you about my vegetarian encounter with Burger King. I ordered their veggie burger. Which they have. It's not a secret. These idiots gave me a bun with tomato and lettuce, and I think mayo on it, after sounding confused when Mom was ordering for me. Mom went back in there of course to tell them, and oh god was the manager pissed, lol. I got my veggie burger in the end. What’s the most immature, adolescent thing that still makes you laugh? Some sexually inappropriate jokes can still get me sadly, lol. Have you ever had a life-threatening condition? If so, what was it? Not literally, but boy do I think depression counts. Do you ever compare your life to somebody else’s? If so, why? Y E P. I can't tell you why, I just... do it. I look at other's successes and am just like, "Why aren't I there yet?", and beat myself up about being a failure. What is a food item or a dish you absolutely cannot stand? Brussel sprouts, asparagus, runny eggs, many other things because I'm just mega picky. Have you ever had a custom print done on a shirt? If so, what was it? Just the spray paint kind that vendors like to do at the beach and stuff. I don't remember any I got, though. What does your favourite mug look like? It's black with a Markiplier quote on it, given to me by Sara. :') Do you ever read other people’s survey answers? Yeah! Friends', anyway. I love learning all the obscure things about them. Do you like daytime or night time better? Why? Daytime, specifically early morning, because it's better for my depression. Are you more comfortable as a leader or a follower? A follower that isn't afraid to speak up when I'm really against something. What is your favourite song right now at this very moment? I've been really into "7empest" by Tool lately, and the synthwave edit of "Voices" by Motionless In White. If you watched The Fresh Prince of Bel Air, who was your favourite character? I don't remember it well, but I think I liked the butler. Was there even a butler? Who was your first online friend? Emma. :') Do you have any plants in your home? No. If you wear makeup, what’s the most outrageous colour you use? I only ever use black. What was the last photograph you took? My cat being adorable while sleeping. <3 Have you ever submitted a video to Funniest Home Videos? No. What was the first sport you learned how to play? I want to say soccer? I absolutely hated it. Do you have a headache at the moment? Yes, actually. I've really been attacked by the Covid shot side effects. Are your parents still together? No, thank god. What was the last hot food you ate? I made a chicken and I think pesto (some Italian noodles, idk) Healthy Choice bowl for dinner last night. Have you ever seen a meteor shower? No. :( Do you ever feel afraid people will question your sanity? I'm sure people have before, and back then? Rightfully so. Which X Factor audition(s) was/were your favorite? Never watched it. Were you a straight A student in spelling and grammar? Always. It's so weird how it's gotten worse with time since leaving school, even though I write... Were you a straight A student in math? Yeah, no. I usually got Bs or Cs. What is your favorite shade of yellow? Pastel. I don't really like yellow. What is something you want to accomplish before you turn 30? Have a stable job. Are you afraid of getting yelled at? YES. Do you feel a connection to the moon? It's not something I think about, so not really, but I do believe all things in the universe are connected in some way. We are simply a part of nature, as all else is. What does your heart long for? Contentment in who I am and where I am in life. I know I also miss being in love. Do you know what your purpose in life is? We have no innate purpose; we make our own, and I want mine to be to show others that there is always hope for yourself in yourself, and also to spread the message of love of all animals. Did you decorate a pumpkin this year? Last year I didn't. I really should change that this go around. Have you ever seen a fox? Yes! They're a kind of rare sight here sadly, so when I had the opportunity to photograph a fox tragically as roadkill, it was a photographic experience I won't forget. God, I wanted to pet it (I obviously didn't), but I did talk to it about how beautiful (s)he was as I got some shots. I never had a harder time leaving one of those angels I've taken pictures of. Do you find Halloween fun or scary? FUN!!!!!! Is there anything about Halloween you find offensive? Not at all. What do the trees look like where you live? I mean, there's a variety, but the staple that you see literally everywhere are pine trees. What is your dream vacation? Somewhere with mountains, clear lakes, cool weather, beautiful and various wildlife... What was the best vacation you’ve been on so far? Disney World as a kid. What is the best class trip you’ve been on? The zoo in the 5th grade. It was the one occasion I got to see meerkats. Did you like field trips when you were a kid? I lived for them. Do you find museums boring or interesting? I find science museums to be very, very fascinating. Art ones are great, too. What are three issues you are passionate about? LGBT rights, the pro-choice movement, and wildlife conservation, to name a few. Would you ever wear a shirt with your country’s flag on it? No. I'm not patriotic enough at all. What size is your bed? Queen. What’s a medicine that makes you sleepy? When we were experimenting with my Klonopin dosage, I learned that 3mg was enough to knock me on my ASS. Do you like bath bombs? I mean they're pretty, but I wouldn't waste money on 'em. Who are your favorite small YouTubers? Yikes, a looooooot. But this also depends on what you think qualifies as "small." Most of my favorite "small" YTers are tarantula keepers or sub-1M let's players. Who are your favorite big YouTubers? Markiplier obviously, Snake Discovery, Good Mythical Morning (even if I don't watch them anymore, they are veeery dear to my heart and I will always support them), Sam & Colby... Again, there's a lot. When you don't watch TV and YT instead, you really get attached to a lot of them. What was your favorite girl group when you were growing up? Would you believe me if I said Pussycat Dolls? haha Do you like Disney movies? Um, DUH. Were you ever in the popular crowd? No. Have you ever used an outhouse? UGH, at like childhood sports games, yes. I could NEVER nowadays, oh my god. Could you possibly write a successful novel? I think I have the creativity to, but not the dedication. Are there any foods that make you gag? Beans, for one. I just canNOT with them. It's a completely involuntary reaction. Have you ever had blonde highlights in your hair? I think I did? Who was the last person you video-chatted with? The lady who was seeing if I qualified for TMS therapy. Do you think sleeve tattoos look trashy? Definitely not, I love those. If you had to get a portrait tattoo, who would it be of? I don't actually want one, but if I did, I'd go to a serious professional to get THE Darkiplier smile. :') If u know u know. Do you have any stickers on any of your electronic devices? No. Do you think half blonde/half dark brown hair is attractive? It looks great on some people, but it's not my favorite combo.

#survey #surveys #questions #lyrics: ''leave a scar'' by marilyn manson

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mythicaldemigoddess-of-deltarune · 4 years ago

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2021 Is The New Year, But I Feel Sad Tonight

things seem pretty okay at the start of this year.

still procrastinating, but if you feel up to doing what you make your goal

right away, then you should be able to try to enjoy a little relaxing, watching your favorite shows or movies, or maybe do some drawing and try to come up with ideas for future chapters for fan fic that you have to post in a different place than where you would normally post them.

but I’m sticking to that promise,

and just need time to get around to it a little more.

I’m crying right now, and not just because of the possibility of my pendulum being right about someone I considered a friend, doing something behind my back, and lying to others and well....I’m still gonna hope it isn’t true.

and my pendulum was just playing a REALLY mean prank.

I am also upset that ANOTHER person is stealing from Vivziepop,

and they can’t even understand why the Youtube User

who goes by [Redacted], is mad.

which I can understand why they are mad and well the other party who has done it might not realize it and need to be told in a gentle way about it.

and at least when others use drawings or clips,

to do dubs or music videos, they give credit.

I even mention in a journal over at the other place I go to,

about how someone else had broke the Pilot episode of Hazbin Hotel,

and even wrote for the title if Hazbin Hotel Was A Series.

I really REALLY hope both Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss,

get on Adult Swim, I need to look up to see when Cuphead Show is gonna come on, all I know it is suppose to be around 2021.

I think I feel a bit better now, when I had stop typing for a few or so on this,

I was talking to family, guess it helps to talk to family at times.

I still don’t like my pendulum giving me such replies about someone I trust.

I really don’t do well with betrayal, and plus the reason like I said before

about my reasoning for chickening out about telling whats going on.

well about what that one Youtuber from before was doing,

because I know it is possible I might just end up messing it up,

and possibly get my words misinterpreted, and I thought that

I saw the number of one of the journals, and I ain’t pleased.

it would be different if it was just my fan art or whatever,

but I had talked about it around December of 2020, which was last year.

maybe after I check out some stuff on here, I can go sign in to Rooster Teeth

and check out Red Vs Blue or maybe even one of the Death Battles.

I asked my pendulum if any of those who saw those journals, even care

about whats going on, and well it gave a “No” but it could only mean only half of them don’t care about it.

if I could use magic to it’s fullest power, I would open a portal and get out of here every once in a while and take a nice vacation.

I would make sure to come back here of course...

I’m kind of peeved off at most of humanity, even if there are still some good ones....which it is the good ones that make me not be full on Misanthrope.

so yeah I’m just Semi-Misanthrope.

I wonder if I have become a bit more sensitive than normal?

it could have to do with how I had got over a depression in 2015, but then the next year I ended up in a whole new mess...

I really need to try not to let myself fall into another depression after having recovered from one that was from what was happening at home.

well I was always sensitive and when I get really sad about something,

I would end up crying.

I just really hope that everything works out, and people who can explain what’s going on much better than me, will tell the team whats going on.

I just need to try not to worry about it too much about it.

another thing I should try not to worry about, is the fact my pendulum gives me a Yes, about being in love with...someone I can’t say the name of.

just because we MIGHT of been together in one of my past lives,

don’t mean it is going to happen in this life.

best to just try to ignore it and bury it deep deep deep very deep down,

or least try to.

having a crush I can handle.

but my pendulum has to be playing a really mean prank on me about who I am supposedly in love with.

I know I let things get to me too much, and well because of how badly I was hurt.

and how I had to give in to such unfair demands, that didn’t really fix the problem at all....and we could of worked it out if I was just told...

and if it was about a journal, then they could of just told me...

great now I’m crying again, and it isn’t just because of well that mess from a few years ago.

I guess even though I did get better after a second depression, which was partly my fault because I let what happen get to me too much.

and well it put me in a very darker place than what I was put in when that nightmare stuff was going on around at home.

I want to try to talk with friends more, but at the same time I still need to have time to myself, like a lot.

I am still tired of being hurt past my breaking point,

and I really hope that my pendulum is just playing a really mean and cruel prank, not from the whole me being in love with.......someone.

but because of the thought of being purposely hurt...

it is possible my pendulum when it doesn’t give me a truth, or a friendly prank.

like the one where Gaster being real and he implanted the idea of Undertale and Deltarune in Toby Fox’s Mind...

or the whole my soul despite being in a human body,

is a upside-down heart, which is kind of like the Monster’s Souls from Undertale....

those are fun pranks it does.

but anyway it is possible that it shows me worries,

things that I know would hurt me deeply.

maybe I should make it charge by the window again,

as well as take some food salt,

pray with it in my hands to the Divine Father & Mother,

and throw the food salt on to the pendulum.

I had discovered I can get rid of certain negative energies

that end up on some stuff we have, by taking some food salt

(that we normally eat with.) then pray with it in my hands,

then throw it on the said item.

well at least it is being honest about the whole embarrassing empath thing.

and about how the bracelets I wear seem to now protect me from such energies.

I’m not saying what it is on here though...

it could at least give a No about it not being true,

and it was just joking.

and maybe I shouldn’t be too mad at well the ones who couldn’t understand

what they were doing with Hazbin Hotel and even Helluva Boss.

but even if some people might stand up for them, and might even resort to some name calling.

but there are lines fans should never cross.

and even if fans do use some parts of clips, or mix clips up into a fan music video, it is important to make sure that those who see it,

will understand the clips belong to it’s original owner or owners.

otherwise it will be like that false report on the original Undertale Amv

yes someone did do some subs for it, but the one who gave the false report,

might of not bothered to check the day or month of the said two.

and I believe that the one who did subs for the Amv, did ask for permission.

I have mention before that I dislike the negative side of Youtube,

cause they let false reports happen.

I like the positive side of Youtube,

and I hope all of you understand what I mean.

maybe I should try doing mediation again,

but maybe I should wait until tomorrow....

I might not be in the right mood for it right now.

I got a violin for christmas, but I’m not very good at playing it,

but that’s fine, I don’t mind if I sound a little terrible on it.

another thing that my pendulum is full of Determination

to prank me with, is it still giving a Yes about Jesus Christ having Descendants.

and I guess since I know it is a prank, I can say it here.

I keep asking if Jesus is my Ancestor, and it keeps giving me a “Yes”

I ain’t telling my family I been asking my pendulum questions,

that need a “Yes” or “No” type of reply.

and i sure ain’t telling them that the pendulum keeps pulling the same prank about well Jesus who is suppose to be like a very distant cousin, being like technically my ancestor too...?

I think it is just one of it’s pranks.

maybe I really should get the food salt prepared to throw at it,

make it go into a time out and stop pulling such mean pranks.

at least it giving a Yes about W.D.Gaster being real and implanting the idea of the two video games of both Deltarune and Undertale into Toby Fox’s mind,

is a really good and funny prank it is pulling.

okay I think I feel better now and am not gonna cry again.

I know I had mentioned before about the whole being a descendant of King David.....which the Virgin Mary is the descendant of him too,

which makes Jesus technically a very distant cousin...

King David was a dysfunctional Dad, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Grandpa Solomon was the same...

even if you might end up with a really cool ancestor or ancestress,

there will always be ones that will disappoint you.

but anyway this ain’t about the dysfunctional ancestors....

I need to try to keep to my happy place and try not to let worries

and hope the whole stuff that I had talked about before.

oh and no matter if your religious or atheist,

it’s fine ya don’t think much of what was said,

after all it has to be my pendulum just pulling one of it’s pranks.

not about being a distant cousin thing,

I knew that way before I got my pendulum.

I think I might of known before I got it,

I know that someone in my family told me about

the whole we are family to Jesus...

you know if he did have a daughter way back many moons ago....

my pendulum gave me a truthful Yes, so yeah...

if he did have a daughter, he would of treated her better

and not be like King David and how he didn’t do anything to help Tamar.

but if anyone who is atheist doesn’t believe about all that,

I wont force ya, it’s fine if you don’t want to.

I mean I did once thought I was Christian, and even went by it for some time.

I can still have the same believes as when I did thought I was a Christian like the rest of my family.

but I am a Ma-Acolyte, I believe in well The Divine Father, Mother and Jesus.

but it is fine that no one believes the same as me, plus I don’t believe it is right to force convert.

if someone wants to convert, it should be of their free will.

you should never make them feel bad or tell them if they don’t,

they will go to hell.

well being “Gay” ain’t gonna be the reason you go to hell,

no matter how many times people say it will.

that is one of the honest and 100% truthful replies to my questions,

that my pendulum gave me.

so yeah being Gay ain’t a sin.

and my bigender identity & being Aroaceflux ain’t a sin either.

in case anyone doesn’t know about well the whole bigender thing.

it is like two gender identity,

for me I still see myself as my biological birth gender.

but at the same time I see myself as Non-Binary too.

so yeah I am Gyno-Agender.

it took me some time to figure out the true parts of me.

I’m listening to the parody of ADDICT right now,

it is nice that they make sure to put the original link to the original maker of the song as well as the music video that it was used in.

it suppose to be Valentino and Vox singing it.

(with Velvet too.)

why do I find Valentino & Vox’s voices attractive.

well I do find Stolas’s singing voice really charming.

well there are different ways to be attracted to others.

like a sirens singing voice, you can’t help but be enchanted.

I think after getting some feelings out, I really do feel better.

might not be able to do a lot of what I want to do on here right now.

so maybe just a few things, like how I heart/faved two posts when I had first signed on this year in 2021.

and by the way there was a reason why I put “Redacted”

it is like to censor a name, I even decided to do that after figuring out

about well what was wrote in that Five Nights of Flirting I had downloaded.

it’s basically a AU of a AU, but according to the person that made the fan game, the original creator doesn’t want to be named.

I really need to figure out how not to die so fast in that game.

at least it gives you a option of being Male, Female or Non-Binary/Genderfluid.

and well I am kind of both of the Female and Non-Binary part.

but I can just pick all three for different routes.

but the game is “M” so it isn’t for everyone.

speaking of “M” rated, I need to make sure when a younger family members

come over, I need to make sure they don’t get their hands on my M rated games.

there are some things that a little kid should NEVER see, not until they are old enough.....

there is just some things you do not let your kids see,

and if they do, they might understand later on that they weren’t the proper age to see certain movies or shows, and they want to try to stop the cycle from repeating.

maybe I shouldn’t bother with placing tags for this.

I decided to ask my pendulum again about the whole friend thing

and if they were just joking, and I believe I asked it to be serious

and I felt mad too, so maybe becoming a little more mad at it, will give a answer that isn’t a mean prank that is from my fears.

I just don’t like being betrayed,

that had happen to me before, with a boy who I thought was my best friend.

the teachers were no help either,

couldn’t just understand from my point of view.

anyway maybe I will check out some stuff on here first,

then I will go watch some cartoons and try to stay in a happy place.

anyway see ya later, stay safe and happy late new year everyone.

PS:

this time the pendulum had admit it was joking, so yeah it better not pull such a prank again....but I think for a few days I wont use it....

but I will throw food salt on it....that joke it was playing wasn’t funny.

it was one of the reasons I started to cry and worry.

so the pendulum is gonna get a timeout for the rest of the day...

0 notes

theepolynesian · 7 years ago

Text

Sorry (pt. 3)

Summary: Thorin starts to see the light

Pairings: Thorin x Daughter!Reader

Words: 1392

Warnings: Neglect, Feelings of Not being loved, OoC!Thorin

Part 1 - Part 2 -

Master Lists: Drabbles/Imagines, and Completed Series

“Is that really a question you have to ask, King Thorin?” you ask coldly. At that, Thorin flinches.

“I am your-.”

“King. Nothing more. Nothing less.”

“Do you really hate me that much?”

That makes you snap.

“Me? Hate you? I loved you Thorin and I got nothing from you. Your attention has been everywhere, but me! I understand that you are king and you have a duty to your kingdom, but you also have a duty to your family. But wait a minute. You knew that! You sure as hell knew that because you would always spend your free time walking around Erebor with Aunt Dis or Fili or Kili and yet never me! I can count how many times you’ve spent time with me on one hand, Thorin!” you shout, tears gathering in your eyes.

Everything just broke your heart. Everything. Seeing him happy with your cousins, but not you hurt so much. You never knew why he was like that? You never understood- wait.

“It’s because I killed amad, isn’t it? You don’t love me because I took your one from you. Is that it?” you ask him.

Thorin immediately comes over to you gently clasping your face in his hands and using his thumbs to rub away your tears.

“I have never stopped loving you since the day I first held you in my arms. I am so, so sorry for making you think that way. I am such a fool for treating you the way that I have. I love you, y/n. Do not doubt that,” and those three words is what causes the dam to break.

“This is the first time that you have ever said that you loved me. In my ninety years of life this the first time you ever told me that you loved me,” you say, backing away from him.

“Uncle Vili told me he loved me more than you ever did and he wasn’t even my blood. I just. I don’t think I can accept you as my father. Not anymore,” you say, turning your back on the man that caused you nothing but grief as your father. Thorin moves to follow you, but a hand on his arms stop him. Turning to Fili, he is about to bark out an order until he sees the look of disappointment on his face. A look he had not seen since he almost threw Bilbo off the ramparts. Fili always looked up to him with admiration, but now he was looking at him with contempt and he knows he fucked up.

“It think it’ll be best that you return to Erebor, Uncle,” Kili adds and Thorin looks at him.

“But she is my daughter!”

“And she is our cousin that we know far better than you do. Tell me, Uncle. What is her favorite color?”

Thorin immediately shuts his mouth.

“Her favorite food? Her favorite story? Who she’s currently courting?” Thorin shakes his head.

“That’s what I thought,” Fili sighs, “The only thing you seem to know about her is when she was born.”

“Oakenshield. What an unpleasant surprise,” a cold voice calls out and the three dwarves turn to face the elven king.

“Go and find y/n. She needs you two now more than ever,” Thranduil states and Fili and Kili nod, knowing exactly where to go to find her.

When they leave, Thranduil turns to look at Thorin.

“When the princess of Erebor came upon my doorsteps, I was not expecting you to be the reason she left.”

“I don’t think this is any of your-.”

“It is my business, Thorin Oakenshield! You made it my business when your daughter came to me, hurt over the fact that her father didn’t love her.”

“Don’t pretend that you care about her!” Thorin sneers.

“Is it me the one pretending or is it you?” Thranduil asks calmly trying to regain his composure.

Thranduil knew exactly what Thorin was going through. He did it to his own son and it pained him to watch Legolas walk out of his life. He did not wish that pain unto others even if he and Thorin didn't see eye to eye.

He came to care for y/n as his own even though he's only spoken to her a handful of times. She reminded him so much of Legolas. The will to learn, the energy when fighting, the need to always put everyone else before themselves.

So much of Legolas was in y/n. When he met her it was like the Valar was giving him a chance to be a better person. A better king and father.

“You don't know what is going on-.”

“I don't? I watched my son walk out of my life because of my mistakes. Something that will happen to you if you don't learn how to love your daughter! I know exactly what's going on because I've been through the same exact thing! Get your head out of your ass and see that you are in the wrong!” Thranduil snaps, tired of the dwarf king’s rambling.

“If you know what is going on, how do I fix this?” Thorin asks, but Thranduil has no answer. The one thing he did to try and fix the relationship between him and Legolas was let him go.

“You need to give her space, Thorin.”

“What do you mean,give her space? She's my baby girl!”

“It pains her to be near you. She's called you by your title and your name. The only thing that can heal her is time and space. Giving her space will hopefully bring her back to you,” Thranduil states and he's praying that his words are true because he misses Legolas so much.

“And if it does not?” Thorin asks, deeply afraid of the answer.

“Then you need to let her go. Forcing her to stay will only hurt you both,” Thranduil states and Thorin sighs, accepting that in the end, this is what he has to do.

- Knocking on your door, Thorin tries to think his words through. He didn't want to say goodbye to you, but he also didn't want you to leave him forever. You were his daughter and he loved you unconditionally.

As the door opens, his heart stops as he realizes exactly how broken you looked. He did this. He hurt you and he didn't think he could ever make this right.

“Come to spout more lies?” You ask quietly and Thorin sighs. You were just like your mother.

“No. I did not. I do love you. I really do. I am truly sorry that I have spent more time with Fili and Kili than I have with you. That I've brushed you aside for my duties as King. If your mother was here now, she'd chop my braids off,” Thorin states and that earns a little smile from you.

“I know I'm not the best father in the world. I'm not even sure I can be considered a father, but if you're willing to let me into your life, I promise that I will try to be the father that you always wanted. I am not saying that it's going to happen immediately because it's not but it will happen eventually. You just have to give me a chance,” Thorin pleads and you look at him critically.

“How do I know that you're going to keep your word? That you won't hurt me?”

“You don't. You just have to trust me.”

“But I did that, Thorin! I've trusted you for many years! 80 to be exact and the outcome has been the same!”

“But this time I know what I'm doing wrong! Please, I already lost your mother. I can't lose you too,” he begs and you've never seen him so broken. A pain in your heart makes you realize that you never want to seem him like this ever again.

Clasping his hands in yours, you rest your forehead against his.

“You hurt me, adad. You hurt me so much,” you whisper, tears of frustration slipping down your face.

“I know, my kurdel and I hate myself for it, but if you give me a chance, I will try to fix what ever I can,” he says.

And you sigh. Everyone deserved second chances especially if they were truly sorry.

Translations: Kurdel = Heart of all hearts.

An: Do you know how tempted I was to create a horrible sad ending? I was very close to doing so but my niceness in my reigned through. Lmfao this was a lovely fic to write. I think it translated what I was feeling on my birthday if you know what I mean.

Forever Tag List: @miss-mcbotty @sdavid09 @why-pace-why@emilyymichelle @bee-wrecker @raisaioana71 @clockworkfall @dracsgirl @imaginesreblogged @whatthehellisacastiel @brewsthespirit-blog @angstflaff @nelswp @savvythedork @j25m18c24 @general-stormpilot

Hobbit Tag List: @jotink78 @arabellaelliana @legolas-bromance @thealbersclan @youtubehelpsmesurvive @annajolras @sapphire110611 @filmozerca @darkblaze16 @pandepirateprincess

Sorry Tag List: @thedarkplume @fandomsunitedtogetherforever @remial

#sorry #part 3 #thorin x daughter!Reader #the hobbit #fanfiction #drabble #series

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nehasy · 7 years ago

Text

Burning in the New Year

Fanfiction: Vision of Escaflowne

Van/Dilandau Post series. Part of the Dragon in the Ashes universe.

Escaflowne Flash Fic challenge. New Years party!

*It’s New Years even in Astoria and the nobles are celebrating the passing of the old despite the looming shadow of war.*

“This is stupid, you know that right?” Dilandau huffed in annoyance while eyeing a servant who was winding his way through the crowd, a tray filled with glasses of fine wine held aloft. “The sun is going to come back whether you stay up all night waiting for it or not.”

“Why is it that you seem to find fault in every tradition we have?” Van grumbled, watching the albino deftly snag one of the drinks and take a sip. He pondered trying to regulate how much the dragonslayer drank over the course of the night but quickly marked that off as a lost cause. All it would do was annoy Dilandau and encourage him to make some sort of scene. So far, he seemed to at least be content with quietly monologuing to Van and shooting glares of death at the delegation from Freid.

“Seriously?” At least Dilandau swallowed his wine before snickering and gestured with his free hand to include the revelry taking place around them. “This is no different than a bunch of barbarians huddled in their little hut around a fire, staring at it in some silly quasi religious fervour and praying to their gods to spit the sun back up before the world dies in darkness.”

Giving the zaibachi youth a rather skeptical snort, Van looked around the room as he was bade, taking in the opulence of the astorian great hall, filled with glittering nobles dressed in shining silks and jewels, tuning themselves into elegant living works of art. Piles of rich and savoury food overflowed on the long tables set up on one side of the hall. Decorative, brightly coloured and easy to pick up and wander around with, they expertly hid the fact that well over half of Gaea was currently risking death by starvation.

A lively band was playing in one corner, their music was festive and traditional, encouraging those gathered to dance together though mostly it was the younger nobles who indulged, having taken over the section of the hall closest to the band. Their delighted laughter carried over the music and Van knew that he’d find most of their regiment there, enjoying the festivities and taking advantage of the fact that they had the day off of training tomorrow, much to Dilandau’s loudly voiced chagrin.

Those who were older gathered around the great fire, basking in its warmth and sharing stories of years past. Most were of great battles of legends past. The shadows of the Destiny War still hung too heavily on the hearts and souls to be spoken of so soon, though he could see that many wondered when they too would be added to the fireside stories.

Worlds in peril, visitors from the Mystic Moon, magic and destiny battling against dark technologies and individuality. Draconians, dragons and a war which pulled all of the known world into it’s cruel grasp... Van doubted it would be long at all.

Still, despite the pretty trappings and ostentatious ceremony, stripped down to it’s bare bones, the dragonslayer was right. Here they were, locked in a room and gathering around a fire while they all secretly hoped to see the sun once more.

“Just try to enjoy yourself Dilandau, and it wouldn’t kill you to be nice.”

“It might.” The dragonslayer countered as he took another sip of his drink, finishing the glass and quickly switching it out with a second. Surprisingly, he passed the wine to Van before claiming another for himself. “Are you really willing to take that risk with my life?”

“More and more every day.” The king countered, eyeing the wine for a moment thoughtfully before taking a small sip. He’d never forgotten the last time he’d gotten drunk in the presence of the dragonslayer and had no intention of ending up in the cell of a ship again.

Rather than grow angry at the comment, Dilandau instead chuckled slightly and raised his glass in mock salute, looking thoroughly amused by the snark.

“Alright fine.” He said after several silents sips, giving Van a lofty sigh of one heavily burdened with an unpleasant task. “Explain this little... ceremony to me.” Another hand wave in the direction of the festivities, managing to utterly dismiss it while at the same time begrudgingly acknowledging its existance. Dilandau was a rather multi-talented individual.

“Well, this is the longest night of darkness and it’s said that the dead can walk into our world and snatch you into the darkness with them.” Van’s eyes narrowed as he saw how the dragonslayer seemed to perk up at that prospect, a heavy wave of jealousy rushed through him at the thought of having to share the young captain with his fallen men, even for one night of the year. “It’s not true, so don’t get your hopes up.” It was impossible to keep the slight edge from his voice and Dilandau favoured him with a slight smirk or superiority, enjoying the power he had over the dark king.

“I wouldn’t dream of it King Fanel, do continue.” Ignoring the barb, Van took another sip of his drink before speaking again.

“To keep the darkness at bay, hunters are sent out the night before, bedecked in bells to drive away any evil spirits who’ve already slipped across the veil. They go to the forests and find the thickest logs they can. Ones which will burn all night and emit the best light.”

“A brilliant tactic considering how hard pressed we are for resources right now, do go on, this is fascinating. I’m currently picturing Schezar tromping through snow jingling like a madman and dragging a tree behind him.” It had to be the wine because Van found himself snickering at that mental image.

Currently, the knight in question was standing at his post by the door, watching the two of them warily, silently warning them to stay in his sight or else face his wrath. It was impressive that he was able to do this while simultaneously quietly flirting with a rather buxom noble woman and her sister AND keep the door guarded. Multitasking seemed to be a Schezar thing.

“The light keeps the dead away and represents the ever burning sun.” Van continued, doing his best to ignore the knight’s glares. “Over the course of the night, people will toss a token onto the fire that they’ve made. It represents the burdens of the previous year that still weigh on them. The hope is that they will be burned away in the new year.”

“Ok, I’m starting to like this fire festival thing. Let’s find something to throw on the fire! Ambassador Falafell would burn wonderfully...”

“Things, not people you psychopath.” Van shot back, wishing that Dilandau didn’t keep suggesting such things with that wonderful purr to his voice. It made it nearly impossible to deny him, even more so when he stepped closer to the king and murmured softly in his ear, warm breath brushing across sensitive skin.

“Are you sure? You know how I get around fires....”

“That had better be bad sexual innuendo because I’m not letting you burn the city down... again.”

“You’re no fun Fanelia.”

“Fine, sleep in the stables with Kamata.”

“And give Schezar what he wants? Never.”

“Then shut up and let me finish my explanation. Besides, I’ve seen more than one effigy of you being discreetly tossed into the flames tonight.” If anything, Dilandau looked almost pleased by this revelation, once again proving that the albino simply wasn’t right in the head even at the best of times. “Anyway, You’re not supposed to sleep tonight, that’s why all the nobles are gathered here, to keep each other awake.”

“Hmph, good luck with that, have you heard their conversations?”

“Only the smallest of children are allowed to sleep, but there are always small Watchfires nearby to keep them bathed in the light and an adult watching over them. Everyone else stays up until the sun rises. When people get tired, there’s stimulant laced drinks on hand for them and No, you’re not allowed near them.” Van quickly added. “They’ll mix badly with all the other stuff in your system and with our luck, you’d have a psychotic episode or something... not that anyone would likely be able to tell given your usual loving personality.”

“... and this was the year King Van Fanel found himself thrown on the fire...”

“In your dreams.”

“I assure you, my dreams are much more explicit than that.” There was that damn purr again, and this time Van found himself blushing hotly. Quickly, he glanced around to make sure no one had noticed, but for once, it seemed that they were not the centre of attention. That honour was being given to Irma who’s veil shrouded form was dancing rather racily with Cassian, the two showing off their inhuman grace and dexterity as they drove the other dancers back, claiming the floor as their personal territory.

Though Van felt a surge of protectiveness for his draconic sibling, he couldn’t help but feel a smile tug at his lips. It was good to see that she was enjoying herself and getting a chance at seeing what a normal life was like. Even more heartening was seeing the rest of their regiment treat her like one of them despite her less than human appearance... of course, there was a reason many of the elite secretly referred to them as the Mongrels.

“That cat better not try anything with her.” Van couldn’t help but grumble. He’d never really warmed to that particular beastkin, likely due to Cassian’s somewhat antagonistic nature towards Merle.

“If he does and she doesn’t like it, she’ll eat him. Don’t worry about it Fanel. Irma can take care of herself.” Dilandau didn’t appear to be at all concerned as he snagged himself a third glass of wine from a passing tray and glanced around idly for their other sibling.

Ignis was easy enough to spot, even in this gaudily dressed crowd, his brilliant flame coloured hair made him into a perfect centrepiece for this particular festival and a small crowd of nobles had gathered around the shy youth, utterly convinced in their drunkenness that he was the fire of the new year made flesh. Several were even giving him various tokens from the previous year and no doubt explaining their mistakes, seeking absolution.

“If he knows what’s good for him, he’ll remember this moment and use it for some glorious blackmail opportunities later.” Dilandau snickered in amusement, making no attempt at rescuing the youth from the attention. “Don’t you dare intervene Van.” He quickly added, noticing the king tensing slightly, preparing to rescue the boy. “No one’s hurting him. Besides, he needs to learn how to handle himself socially.”

“You and I have vastly different ideas of how to handles oneself socially Dilandau.”

“I know, that’s why I gave them both daggers before the party. Now, tell me more about this silly ritual thing. So all we do is stay up all night drinking and dancing? You talked me into cancelling morning training for that?”

“You gave them weapons for a party!?”

“Focus Van. You were explaining about barbarians being scared of the dark.”

“I hate you so much sometimes.” Van sighed in defeat, doing his best to ignore the triumphant grin shot in his direction. “Well... er... From here things get a little different. In Fanelia, at midnight, all the bells in the city ring, signalling the beginning of the end of the long night. The parties tend to get a little crazy as everyone tries to pack everything into those last few hours... you see, your vices don’t carry over into the new year, at least they’re not supposed to. The idea is that you get everything out of your system and start fresh with the rising of the sun.”

“I can see why there would be some need to rest after that... really though it doesn’t sound at all practical. How many people get alcohol poisoning or bizarre sexual diseases after these parties?”

“It’s a cleansing of the body and spirit Dilandau, not an orgy.”

“Sounds like one.” Dilandau couldn’t help but grin at Van’s look of profound irritation and embarrassment. Few things were sweeter than putting the dark king off balance and the dragonslayer revelled in doing so constantly.

“Anything after that? Or is it just vomiting and hangovers to begin the new year?”

“We... make a wish on the first rays of the sun. It’s said that what your doing when the sun’s rays first touch you is a sign of what you’ll be doing for the rest of the year.” That seemed to catch the dragonslayer’s attention and he grinned widely.

“I like this idea! Let’s kill someone at sunrise! How about Chid? He’s young, it’s not like anyone has had time to get seriously emotionally attached to him.” Van would have loved to have been able to say that he was surprised by this, but he really wasn’t. In fact, it was almost expected. He’d have been more shocked by it’s absence.

“You’re not killing Prince Chid.”

“Fine fine. You kill him for me.”

“NO! I’m not murdering anyone for you you psychopath!”

“...there’s no love in your heart Fanel.” Dilandau replied with sombre tones, sounding like Van had just denied the softness of a baby bird or sweetness of a puppy. After all this time, the albino still had the ability to make it seem as if Van was the bad guy in their exchanges and it was maddening!

“So what do they do here in Astoria?” Dilandau continued as if he hadn’t just proposed regicide while in the astorian court. “I can’t really picture Ice Princess Ereis getting drunk and playing “The Lucky Bandit” with everyone... and I really don’t want to picture King Aston doing that either.” Both youths took a moment to shudder and Van quickly finished off his drink, only to find a new one waiting for him, courtesy of Dilandau.

“Here, they note the midnight hour, but things stay sombre if you’re a royal. Often they retell the story of Jeture and then there’s the Lightening. Each person will be given a candle and they light it from the hearth fire that’s been burning all night. While the candle burns, they need to find someone and whisper a deep truth to them, something that will unburden their soul, leaving them cleansed for the new year. Most of the time, they speak to priests of Jeture, but really, they can do it with anyone.

“If they do this before the candle burns out, then they enter the new year with their soul purged. If they don’t, then the guilt will grow over the passing year, bringing misfortune in its wake.”

Dilandau actually appeared to be thoughtful for a moment and he glanced over at one of the tables off on the side of the room, filled with over a hundred thin white tapered candles waiting to be lit.

“They really believe that?” For once he didn’t sound mocking, making Van wonder what guilt the dragonslayer might want to purge from his soul. As far as Van was concerned, Dilandau attempting to confess all of his crimes could take a week of nonstop confession, but he knew from experience that guilt and Dilandau were totally foreign entities. The albino didn’t regret any of his past actions no matter how vile. He was too much a creature of the moment to be bothered by what had already been done.

Well, Van resolved, he could confess for both of them. He already knew that Dilandau wouldn’t accept any apologies for anything that had happened during the war... and getting punched in the face for trying to do so didn’t appeal to him in the slightest. Still, he did feel the weight pressing down on him and knew that before the candles went out, he’d say something to the other teen. He didn’t know what, but with luck and perhaps a few gods taking pity on him, he wouldn’t get punched in the face... again.

“So once the candles go out, what happens?” It seemed that Dilandau was displaying his usual tenacity, refusing to move onto another topic until he’d utterly exhausted this one and driven it to ground. Unable to resist a faint smile, Van found that he actually sort of admired that trait, especially when it wasn’t being used against himself.

“Well, for several nations, Astoria included, a Seer from Freid reads the rising sun and makes a pronouncement of the fate of the upcoming year. Many of the priesthood have been studying signs and portents for the past few months preparing for this moment.

“Is that why the diminutive bedwetter is here?” Dilandau spared a scathing look towards Prince Chid and his entourage who were currently chatting with Princess Millerna and Heir Dryden. The boy, barely seven years old was doing his best to appear as adult as possible though it was growing increasingly obvious that the late hour was giving him difficulty.

Van really wanted to go over there and speak to the young prince. The two of them had always gotten along and out of everyone, Chid was the best able to relate to him, having also lost both his parents while still a child and been forced to carry the weight of a kingdom on his young shoulders. Unfortunately, Chid and Dilandau in any proximity to each other didn’t ever end well. The two had hated each other on sight and there seemed to be no indication of that changing anytime soon.

“Have some respect Dilandau.” Van ground out, growing tired of how many times a day he had to say that. “He’s royalty.”

“He’s a coward.” It was an old argument and the king was in no mood to open it up again, especially in such a public place.

“You don’t need to speak to him, just stop looking like you’re planning to toss him into the fire.”

“I make no promises.”

“Anyway, yes, that’s why he’s here. As well as the fact that he’s still a member of the Astorian royal family. That tall woman with him? The one with the tattoos on her forehead and hands? She’s their seer and will be making the prophecy.”

“The one who’s been eyeing the two of us since she walked into the room? Wonderful.” Van didn’t trust the delighted tone of voice for a moment.

“Leave the seer alone. You’ve killed enough of their holy men.”

“This one’s a woman, there’s a difference you know Van.” Nope, he wouldn’t strangle the dragonslayer in the middle of the party. It didn’t matter how many of the assembled nobles would likely applaud the action, it was still wrong... and a bad way to begin the new year.

“So... she makes some big prophetic statement like a discount Emperor Dornkirk and everything is over? By the way, if she says anything about white dragons I’m stabbing her in the face, just so you know.”

“You are not and she won’t.” At least he really hoped that she didn’t. Destiny was already kicking him in the teeth regularly enough that he didn’t need it to be proclaimed across the land.

“So why freidian seers?” Dilandau continued to press, watching the woman openly and flashing her a rather toothy and not overly friendly smile when she finally did look their way. Elbowing the albino sharply in the ribs, Van fixed another chastising glare at him, silently warning him to stop with the power games.

“Freid follows the teachings of Atlantis. Their seers have vast insight and are remarkably accurate.”

“You do realize how stupid that sounds seeing as how there’s two actual Atlantians in the room. Why listen to some silly painted woman when they could get their wisdom direct from us?”

“Because you and wisdom do not belong in the same sentence together. No one wants to hear about how we should just set everything on fire and laugh as it all burns.”

“Not everything.” Dilandau grumbled petulantly over the rim of his wineglass

“Just the parts with people in them?” Van snarkily quoted the dragonslayer, earning himself a slight smile of amusement. Clearly Dilandau was pleased that he’d remembered the old barb towards Faneila. “Look Dilandau, clearly you’re just in the mood to bother me, so why don’t you go and rescue Ignis from his imminent social meltdown and I’ll go ask the seer not to mention anything about white dragons or how you’re obviously still too unbalanced to be let near anything sharper than a table spoon.” Honestly, he had no idea how he put up with the madman. Sometimes Dilandau was the most brilliant and thoughtful person he’d ever met... then other times he was so obviously a certifiable psychopath that Van questioned his own sanity for spending time with him.

Hardly bothered by the insulting dismissal, Dilandau snickered at the king and neatly plucked the glass out of his hands, stealing it for himself despite the fact that there were plenty available should he want another.

“Fine, go play with the toddler. Fate knows he needs someone to look up to after I slaughtered all of his friends.” He sneered cruelly and slipped away before Van could say “screw propriety” and break his face.

Shaking his head and wondering at what twisted whims of fate had seen fit to bring the two of them together as allies, Van headed over to Prince Chid and the astorian royals, already feeling that strange hollowness he got whenever the volatile dragonslayer wasn’t at his side. He was cursed that had to be it.

The bells had rung hours ago and the gathered nobles amused themselves, wandering around the great hall, sharing whispered secrets with each other before their candles burned out. Van watched several of them enviously, noting how the nature of these secrets seemed to be more lascivious than guilt ridden. This seemed more like ritualized flirtation rather than the sombre ceremony he’d been told about.

He’d lost track of Dilandau an hour ago and was desperately hoping that he hadn’t “slipped off” with one of the more adventurous young nobles who ‘d been secretly eyeing the lovely albino. Or worse, Regis, who made nothing subtle about the looks he still gave the young captain. It twisted something in Van’s guts to think of what the pale youth could be getting up to now. He’d heard the stories of what other people their age did on this night, taking advantage of the darkness and the hovering adults all crammed in together, leaving many abandoned rooms available. Had Dilandau heard those stories? Was he welcoming in the new year with someone else?

“Keep thinking along those lines and you might be the one murdering someone.” A purring voice whispered in his ear, nearly making the king jump.

Spinning around, he saw Dilandau standing there, cocky smile on his face and a brightly burning candle in his hand.

“Someone let you have fire?” Was the first thing that came out of Van’s mouth and he instantly wished that he could take it back. Thankfully, Dilandau didn’t seem to take it personally and instead gave the small burning flame a rather speculative look.

“I know right? You should have seen the priests face when I took the candle. If he was constipated before hand, he certainly isn’t now.”

“Classy. Real classy.”

“Yeah, so come here.” A slender hand reached out and grabbed onto Van’s arm, pulling him into a small shadowed alcove behind one of the many tall pillars which decorated the hall. They were out of sight of the rest of the court and what with all the many tapestries adorning the walls, even the noise seemed muted somewhat.

Dilandau’s face glowed in the candlelight, the small flame making his crimson eyes shine unnaturally, but Van wasn’t worried. If the dragonslayer was up to something nefarious, he’d have made it quite clear immediately.

“Are you actually going to try to absolve your guilt over something?” Van couldn’t quite keep from sounding utterly skeptical as he looked into those beautifully glowing eyes.

“Guilt? Hells no. I can’t feel guilt and you know that.” Dilandau sneered faintly. The expression didn’t last long though. It faded quickly, only to be replaced by a somewhat uncomfortable frown.

“I... I wanted to say thank you.”

Sheer surprise kept Van silent as he stared at his former nemesis, trying to figure out just what exactly the dragonslayer was up to.

“I know I’m... difficult to get along with at the best of times.” Dilandau continued, his voice soft and subdued, sounding remarkably young now that it wasn’t filled with its usual fires of challenge and arrogance. “Alright, I’m a pain in the ass and I know it.” He amended with a somewhat rueful smile aimed in Van’s direction. “I know you regret our truce sometimes and that sometimes you wish that I’d just go away... but you don’t send me away and you haven’t rejected me.” The smile faded as well and for a moment Van saw the terrible vulnerability of the fierce captain. He wasn’t the vicious and merciless warlord controlled for so long by madmen. Instead, he was a lost and lonely teenager who’d had everyone he dared to care about stripped from him over and over again until the very thought of trust had become a lost dream.

“You’ve done more for me than any other living being Van, and I know that I don’t always act like I appreciate it, but I do.” Dilandau licked his lips nervously, the tip of his tongue looking bright pink against his pale flesh. “You helped give me a new family and you’re fighting to help me keep them safe. I will never be able to thank you enough for that... but more importantly, you showed me that I’m not really alone. There’s someone out there just like me... someone who understands me and is willing to accept me for who and what I am... even if I’m being a pain in the ass.

“I don’t have anything to toss into the fire because I accept everything that’s happened this year. The good, the bad, all of it brought me to this point and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Instead, all I have is this fire in my hands and a promise on my lips that this time you’ll find the heat to be much more pleasant.” As he spoke, he gently blew out the candle, letting the faint wisps of smoke rise up, coiling languidly around each other.

Setting the waxy stick down, he then reached into his jacket and pulled out the shining feather on the gold chain he always wore around his neck. As always, the feather glowed gently in the darkness of the alcove, it’s silvery light radiating a soothing warmth across their skin.

Without a word, Van pulled his own feather free and smiled as the two seemed to brighten, as if competing against each other as to which was the most brilliant.

“Only you could compare the burning of a city to a beautiful proposition.” It was impossible to stay infuriated with the pale youth, especially when those fantastic eyes of his still held the glowing light of the extinguished candle.

“Only you could see it as such.” Dilandau countered with a gentle smile before leaning forward and gently claiming Van’s lips with his. The familiar electrical sizzle made his mouth tingle pleasantly and the king found himself leaning into the kiss, his lips parting slightly in invitation.

Always ready to take advantage of any opportunity, Dilandau deepened the kiss, causing Van to moan softly i pleasure as their tongues met and stroked across each other, causing his entire body to shiver in pleasure even as the feathers in their hands shone even brighter.

“Lets go to your room.” Dilandau whispered against Van’s lips, his eyes still burning with flickering flames. “There’s better ways to welcome a new year than listening to some bald bitch tell us that there’s going to be a war. We make our own destiny.”

Despite all common sense, Van nodded his head, still dazed from the kiss. He knew they should stay, that people would notice their absence. He was a king for Gaea’s sake, he had to keep propriety in mind! But... it was impossible to argue with those eyes, that smile... the way the air sparked in between them.

“I... I don’t have a candle.” The king murmured softly, unable to keep from speaking as he stared into those eyes, feeling that perhaps the flames in their depths were enough for the ritual. “But I wanted to confess something to you.”

“You don’t need to you know.” Dilandau smiled gently, pale slender fingers sliding through tousled black locks of hair as he spoke, thrilling at every point of contact between them.

“I do... I want things equal between us.” He replied resolutely. “I don’t want you to change, no matter how mad you drive me or how shocked I am over the things you say or do. You’re brilliant and fierce and so alive that it makes my heart ache.” His dark eyes locked on those ruby red orbs and he smiled faintly. “No matter how much I gnash my teeth or yell at you... or threaten to step on you with Escaflowne, you’re still perfect to me. You’re family.”

“Does that mean I’m in line for the throne? Because if anything happened to you... say... a terrible fire accident, or guymelef squishing, Fanelia would need a leader...”

“Shut up Alabtou.” Despite their teasing words, Dilandau looked deeply moved by the statement and Van couldn’t help but grin even as he reached up and pulled the pale youth down into another kiss.

“And stay the hell away from my throne.” Van added, savouring the taste of Dilandau on his tongue. The heat, the promise and the passion which accompanied their every touch.

“Then let’s greet the dawn together, away from all this. The others will tell us if anything important is said. Besides, if we really are fated to spend the next year doing whatever we get up to during the sunrise, I’d rather ensure that it’s utterly mind shattering.” Unable to come up with any proper argument, Van nodded his head eagerly. Sharing wide grins of anticipation, the two youths slipped away into the shadows without a backwards glance.

********

Want to start at the beginning? http://archiveofourown.org/works/8090491/chapters/18538888

#Vision of Escaflowne #tenkuu no escaflowne #escaflowne fanfiction #Dilandau Albatou #Van Fanel #Astoria #New Years eve #celebration #humour #Yaoi #snippet in time

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annastrxng · 8 years ago

Text

Annlett: The Great Escape? Or the Great Defeat?

Chapter #1: I’d Come For You

Anna’s pale face is caked with several days worth of dirt, dried blood, and grime. Her dark locks fell in a wild tangle to the side of her neck, in the form of a sloppily decaying bun. Craters and cracks formed across her gentle ripe-peach colored lips, which, seem to remain pursed in perpetual anticipation of what was to come.

Sharply bristled cords dig deep trenches in the soft flesh of her wrists with every minor movement Anna makes. The ripping of her skin serves as a constant reminder that she is no longer a free citizen of the colonies, but rather a prisoner of His Majesty’s army.

Bruises inflicted by boots and fists practically sing against her stays with every breath she takes. Anna had been dealt with harshly by her captors; not that she could blame them. They were after answers, not awards for hospitality.

The charges against her were right on the money: sedition and spying. Having been captured with treasonous correspondence on her person, Anna could scarcely refute the claims; even if she wanted to. She had been tried, convicted, and sentenced to hang.

Anna’s soul was exhausted from the time it spent wavering between carefully weaved fictions and the gospel truth. She didn’t want to have to lie again. Her words had destroyed the only thing she had left to fight for, Major Hewlett. He was an unforeseen casualty of her career as a spy. An innocent man caught in the nasty tangle of strained friendships, loyalties, ever shifting-morals, and sides.

The brunette’s hands were empty. She had nothing left to give after devoting everything she owned to the Rebel Cause. Anna had sacrificed her all in the fight. Unfortunately, not even her life would be spared.

Her shoulders slump in defeat. They seem to have taken on the weight of the world and it is a burden too heavy for her to carry. There is no hope of a rescue, not even a minuscule flicker. No one in the Culper Ring would notice that Anna was in danger for several more days. By the time they would realize it, they would be too late. The near solitude of her confinement was to be her only and final companion.

Long dark lashes slowly flicker upwards to examine the ever darkening sky, on this, her final night of life. There, twinkling against the deep grapefruit oranges, cotton candy pinks and blues, and the calm lavenders, were the first evening stars. Anna’s vision blurs as silver orbs overwhelm the rims of her eyes and coldly wash down the curves of her cheekbones. In spite of the brunette’s great efforts to contain them, a series of agonizing sobs escape her heavily wracking chest.

Keeping her head angled defiantly up at the sky, Anna sputtered between tattered breaths. “Why did you say that you loved me for all that I am…and all…that I be, Edmund? Why? Why di…. did you…then… leave when… when you finally saw… the r… real me?! Why… did I ha… have to fall in love with you wh…while star gazing?! I… I should have… known…better. Play…wi…with fire and d…deserve to get burned. But I lo…loved you. Y…you…still, h…hold my heart even if, you be un…unaware of it. I…I should h..have told you when I had the chance. Now, you’ll …never know.”

Her hoarse and wavering tone continues to entreat,“God… be this your way of p…punishing me? Are you… to use my last hours… to taunt and t…torment me?! Am I… to die alone fo…for all of my sins?! Is… this my… comeuppance?” Anna didn’t really blame God or believe he was behind this. God was the author of all good things. But right now, nothing felt very pleasant and He was the one in charge.

No audible answers to her questions could be heard emerging from the mocking and heart-breaking silence. However, Anna could hear the laughter of her guards as well as their crude remarks regarding her pain.

The brunette curls into a ball and attempts to pray. Four words hesitantly pass over her lips as she resigns herself to her fate. “Thy… will… be … done.” It is all that Anna has the strength to say in conversation with the benevolent Creator of the Universe.

What hour she ceased keeping vigil for the morning light escapes her. The hours drain one into the next, very slowly and without much significant change. Heavy laden lids pressed closed and a sudden darkness envelopes her slender figure.

That is, until she becomes acutely aware of another presence in her cell by the sound of leaves crackling under their foot. The guards had come for her and she would soon have to meet her fate.

I’m going to die today. Anna reminds herself.

Startled, Anna jolts out of her dreamless slumber and pulls away from the other’s reach. The rebel spy wasn’t as ready to be lowered into the ground as she had tried to convince herself she was.

Swallowing thickly the brunette pleads, “w..wait…I…I be unprepared. G…Give me but a m…moment… to pray.”

Anna blinks back the fog of grogginess still clinging to her maple-syrup hues. It was still quite dark outside. To add to her problems, everything was still fuzzy from having an ocean’s worth of tears pour from her eyes. She could just barely make out a blur of vibrant scarlet and white.

The other’s large and amiable hand comes to rest upon her cheek. The touch, as gentle as it is, is met with a frightful fit of trembling. Anna can easily recall the brutality with which, the regulars had presented her the past few days and it filled her with great dread.

“Pl…please. D…don’t h…hurt me. I’ll…do…do wh…whatever… you ask of me,” the brunette supplicates. The word ‘whatever’ hitches in the back of her throat the moment she recalls the Queen’s Ranger by the name of Tanner and what he had demanded of her. She subconsciously shudders, hoping the guard would not request such things from her.

“Anna… Anna, easy. It is only me,” a patient and familiar voice beckons. The man crouches down beside her. “My God, what have they done to you? Have you been molested by any of the men here?” He murmurs softly, his callous fingers gingerly brushing back the thick mat of her hair from her wretched face. The major could not comprehend how ‘gentlemen’ serving under the King’s command would be brazen enough to treat even a rebel woman so horrendously.

More tears slick her lashes and her lips quiver violently. Why was she seeing the form, hearing the voice, and feeling the touch of Major Hewlett? Was this just another vision coming to devastate her already crushed soul?

It takes her a few moments to realize that Edmund was equally as physically present as she was. Unable to find her voice she shakes her head “no”. It is not an entirely honest answer. But it was the only one Anna had been semi-prepared to give considering the circumstances. She had been beaten a few times for the sake of gaining information but her stubborn tongue remained unwilling to offer the Regulars things of use, instead of insults. It made their treatment of her more hostile. What would it matter if she was already going to die? Cowardice has never been her style.

Edmund knows that Anna has been put through hell. He can see it in her gaze and he can sense it in the way she reacts to even the most adoring and affectionate touches. After all, Hewlett had once been a prisoner of war himself. He would not wish such ill-treatment on his worst enemies. Correction, maybe he would wish it upon Simcoe but never his beloved Anna. Tight knots form within Hewlett’s stomach as he considered everything his fellow countrymen might have forced Anna to endure.

In spite of the internal turmoil raging within him, Edmund’s thin lips sweep upwards to offer her a toothless smile in an effort to comfort her. “It’s going to be okay. I’m here now,” he breathes.

“Anna, I need you to hold still. I prefer not having to inflict further injury on you,” the Major commands, producing a sharp stiletto blade from his uniform coat. He motions in the direction of her tightly bound wrists to let her know his intent, lest she become even more fearful of him.

Even if, Anna had never loved him, Edmund felt determined to try and still win her affection. This dark-eyed enchantress was what made abandoning the terrible colonies so intolerably difficult for him. Somehow the news of her capture and impending death had softened his hardened heart once again, for her. Yes, she had injured him very deeply with her betrayal. It would have been extremely easy for a lesser man to let her hang; but not him. Hewlett could not let her die, not when he had the power to do something about it.

Besides, the longer Edmund dwelt on her actions, the less convinced he was that Anna had told him the truth about her feelings when they had last parted ways. There was something about her silent ‘no’ that just didn’t feel right. Perhaps, it was just the hopeless romantic side of him that found it amiss. Still, he couldn’t think of a reason for Anna to have saved him from one of her eldest and dearest friends, that didn’t equate to some level of love. Or at the very least, proclaim a twinge of respect.

The still trembling brunette braces her bruised figure against the logs used as a wall for her cell and whispers, “I…I’ll try.” The more she strives to quell her nerves, the more fiercely her poor limbs quake. Anna pulls her knees towards her chest and drapes her bound arms across them, in an effort to provide the major with the stillness required to free her.

The major quickly kneels beside her and wordlessly begins to saw at the thick and tightly wrapped cords.

Studying his stern features, Anna can not determine if he has truly come to rescue her. Or if, adversely, he has come to hand her over to the hangman. After all, one good betrayal deserves another. The uneasy knots return to her stomach and her heart is sent into a maddening series of thundering thumps. She knows that the Major has more reason to see her hanged than saved from the noose. Yet, personally sending people to their deaths just didn’t seem to be Hewlett’s style. That was more Simcoe’s way. Besides, Edmund had just vowed that everything would be ‘okay’. In all of the time, Anna had spent with the Major, she had discovered him to consistently be a man of his word. Would this be the first time he’d break her trust? Anna wasn’t a hundred percent certain. But trusting him appears to be the best and most logical option she has. Especially, compared to the alternative.

“E…Edmund? Wh..what are you doing here? Y… you’re s…supposed to… to be on…a ship …headed for Scotland?” Anna murmurs. Her tongue sticks to the roof of her dry mouth as she makes the not-so-veiled inquiry. Hewlett’s sudden return to her life both baffles and vexes her.

A nervous and half-breathy laugh escapes Edmund as he works through the first of the tight cords. “I was all but boarded when the news of your detainment reached New York. I knew I had to come.” The Major was kind of surprised that she hadn’t quite considered herself worthy of saving. Yet, he knew that was Anna’s way. She’d save others a thousand times over before thinking of herself.

In his rushed attempt to get her bindings undone, Hewlett slips and scratches her with the blade. A disapproving frown finds his lips as inky red blood is drawn from his mistake. He internally chastises himself for not being more careful with the poor woman. “My apologies, Anna,” he breathes in a contrite tone.

She winces slightly as the blade nicks her skin. Her wrists were so numb she barely felt the scratch. Instead, the brunette reacts to Hewlett’s abrupt frown and his words. “I be fine. There is no need to fret,” Anna assures him.

Anna had experienced far worse injuries growing up with predominantly male friends. Dearest acquaintances, who, on occasion inspired the need to embark upon dangerous adventures. The same group of male friends still managed to pull Anna into their high-risk stunts. With age, came the intensification of the consequences for their actions. No longer were they risking broken bones by dueling with sticks or jumping over fences, they were risking life and limb. Plus having been beaten at the hands of the Regulars for days, Anna had built up an almost scary indifference to pain. Besides, Hewlett was doing his best to free her. It would hardly be proper to chastise him for an unintentional mistake.

Anna’s head lowers shamefully and she murmurs, “I be sorry.” She can’t help but feel incredibly guilty for making him miss passage back to his homeland. In fact, she can’t even meet his gaze as it fixes upon her.

The Major stops his work to fully consider her. He can’t help it. His brows furrow together in bewilderment. Edmund repeats, “Sorry?”

“For having you come all this way…for me and…for making y….you miss your ship,” Anna returns.

A sigh escapes his parted lips. “Anna, look at me,” he implores. He uses the fingers of his free hand to lift her chin upwards. Edmund wants her to comprehend every word that spills from his tongue because it is imperative. She is more important to him than his home could ever be. His darling Anna had been since the day she jumped from the rebel boat; even though, he later discovered her ulterior motives.

Anna swallows sharply as her chin is lifted towards him. At his request, tired eyes locked upon his pools of root-beer and foam. It was strange how his eyes still radiated so much love and concern even after months of being apart.

He waits until he has her attention before continuing, “I would have traveled three times the distance and missed the very last ship home if it meant that I got to see you safe. Besides, if it makes you feel any better, I am confident that there will be other ships bound for Scotland.”

“A….after everything I…I’ve d….done?” She queries in astonishment, her tone wavering ever so slightly above a pained whisper. Several fresh and unbidden silver orbs journey down her cheeks.

Now it is Edmund’s turn to be bashful. “You protected me from dangers that I could not see and you did so at your own peril. You valued my safety over my good opinion. While it wounded me terribly, I am still alive. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be having this conversation, would we?” He gives a brief pause before asking, “Will you forgive me for being so ungrateful for your efforts?” His trembling fingers slowly wipe away her tears. Despite the muddy mess covering Anna’s countenance, he presses his lips chastely to her cheek.

A rosy pink sweeps into the upper crests of her dirtied cheeks. She is unaccustomed to such extreme displays of kindness and appreciation for her work. Yet, she should have expected nothing less of a gentleman like Hewlett. “The…there be nothing for me to forgive, Edmund. You be far too good and compassionate a man. I don’t deserve friends like you.” The brunette tips her head to the side to kiss the lowest corner of his jaw in return. Anna inhales slowly, taking in the scent of his shaving lather. While it was not sweet like flowers, it was certainly not pungent. In fact, it was kind of addicting scent. “It be I…who, should… ask for absolution,” she whispered in return.

Hewlett blinks back at Anna in shock. Her lips were warm but rough like sandpaper against his skin. He closed his eyes to savor the moment before the corner of his jaw would be surrendered back to the cold absence of her affection. Any semblance of anger he had clung to in an effort to keep his heart from getting broken again, crumbled like dried bread under the heels of a boot. Edmund finds himself once more at her mercy; even though she is the one still secured by the cords that he had only begun cutting. At the thought of her poor wrists, he gently removes his hand from under her chin and returns to the task of freeing her.

“Anna? There is something you should know…” Hewlett starts, before letting his voice trail off. His tone comes out sounding rather distant, tense, and slightly troubled. The knife is worked hurriedly against the ropes until he finally earns Anna’s complete freedom. Then, just as quickly as the blade was furnished, it is re-hidden within the confines of his uniform jacket.

The brunette smiles up at him as she rolled her wrists to regain a semblance of feeling back. The smile falters at the sound of his anxious tone. “Aye? What be that?” Anna prompts. She internally braces herself for whatever he will say next.

Edmund lets out a slow exhale. “I didn’t officially obtain permission to govern a rescue or secure your release. I… I persuaded the guards to take a small bribe. We need to get out of here and soon…before they change their minds.” His words are laced with apprehension. When he said small bribe, Hewlett meant a small fortune. However, he was too polite to tell Anna just how much her rescue cost him. She was worth every cent he spent and more.

“Judas priest!” She whispers, her eyes widening considerably at the revelation. Anna was completely stunned he had gone to such lengths for her. This was the man who, on day one of his Setauket occupation said that ‘law, order, and authority were everything’. Here, Edmund was breaking the law and risking his own life for her. She was quite impressed by his ingenuity and surprised by the drastic change that had fallen over him. Then again, if Anna truly thought about it, she too had changed considerably from that day.

Hewlett hurriedly returns to his feet. He extends his hand to Anna and helps her up as well. “Are you okay to stand?”

“I be fine, Edmund,” she answers.

From under his uniform jacket, he pulled a bundled scarlet-jacket, white vest, and breeches. He is quick to extend the uniform in Anna’s direction. A sheepish expression finds its way onto his face. “C…Can you be quick in changing? Getting you out of that dress…” He pauses to swallow sharply, fighting back improper thoughts about her. Clearing his throat he continues, “might help us get out of here undetected.”

“Aye,” she answers. The brunette didn’t even wait for him to turn around before she starts shedding her gown.

His eyes linger upon her wonderfully elegant curves. To his delight, Anna moves gracefully even in the tense situation; even-more-so for a bruised and battered prisoner of war. The sight of the ghastly purple and blue patches made his blood boil. Yet, Anna wore them so valiantly that it was hard not to find some beauty in them. He let his thoughts about her carry him away. Realizing that he was unintentionally ogling her and that it might make her uncomfortable, Edmund’s face flushes. Quickly and respectfully he turns his back to her.

It didn’t take Anna long to redress once her stays had been removed. A widened grin slides upwards on her lips when she noticed a faint hint of pink branding Hewlett’s cheeks before he turns away from her. Her heart skips a few beats as she realized just how deeply her heart was tethered to his. It took all of her strength not to confess how ardently she felt for him. Now was not the time for such things. They had to focus on escaping. Maybe such confessions could come later.

But first, she had a small and rather urgent problem. Anna had never worn breeches. The brunette had washed many pairs but never dare to try them on.Anna hadn’t the faintest idea of how to button them. Or even how to keep them from sliding down her considerably smaller waist, without taking them in several inches with a needle and thread. “Uhmmm… Major…” The brunette prompts, in a demure tone. Her own face taking on a tomato coloring as she peers over at him.

“Yes?” He quizzes, tilting his head to the side to look at her from over one shoulder in case she was not yet decent. “Ah… yes. Let me help you,” he breathes, without reflecting too greatly on what he was helping Anna do. He turns and strides the three steps it took to get to her side.

It seems the poor woman was confounded by the multitude of buttons on the front of the uniform breeches. So much so, that she had done them up quite awkwardly. Edmund takes a deep breath as his hands find her middle and he focuses on re-buttoning her. His knuckles accidentally brush against Anna’s bruised but warm skin which, is only covered by the thin fabric of the undershirt. As a result, his thoughts take an unholy turn. The officer struggles to control his passions. There is nothing he wants to do more in that moment than kiss her and claim her as his; with her permission, of course.

A small sweat breaks out upon his forehead as he tries not to gaze into her eyes or down at her chest. Edmund fears that in his eyes, she might discover all of the shameful thoughts he had and still has about her. Hewlett redirects his attention to the danger that would find them if, they lingered any longer than necessary.

Anna can scarcely breathe as his gaze is directed to her. The coincidental sweep of Hewlett’s knuckles against her filled her with a maddening desire that she had no choice but to conceal. She could not, however, pry her gaze away from Edmund as he studiously works on adjusting her uniform. If only she could know what was going through his mind. Did Hewlett still find her as attractive as she found him? Or had she somehow become repulsive to him? Why did it feel so natural being beside him even in this state of undress? Her thoughts are so loud, she is surprised that Hewlett can not hear them.

Edmund clears his throat when he realizes just how big the breeches are on Anna. They were still slowly drooping towards the ground in spite of his work. Thinking quickly, the major fashions a belt out of the extra coil of rope. Fortunately, Anna was small enough that it worked. “There….” He proudly states, appraising her with a once over glance. He can not help but be impressed by how stunning she looks in the uniform of his choosing. If only it had been her own as well…..

“Thank you, Edmund,” Anna gushes. Her upper row of teeth drags slowly against her lower lip as she contemplates kissing him. It is a thought that is quickly dismissed when he hands her the vest that belongs over the undershirt. At least this garment was a little more fitted to her figure. It was also much easier to button than the breeches had been. After the vest is secured, Anna is quick to shrug on the enemy jacket.

“I’m afraid that is as good as we are going to get. That is, until we can find some water…to clean you up with.” Hewlett remarks, removing the black uniform hat from his head and placing it upon Anna’s head. The hat too seemed slightly large. Although, this could work in their favor. Hewlett hopes that it is just big enough to cover her feminine facial structure. Still, if people didn’t look too closely, she could potentially pass for a recently recruited Regular. Anna was by far the prettiest Regular Edmund had ever seen.

It wasn’t until he mentioned water that Anna found herself craving some. Instinctively she licked her parched lips.

The subconscious gesture hadn’t escaped his notice. Hewlett wordlessly slips his flask to her with one hand, the other coils protectively around her waist. Hastily he ushers her out of the make-shift prison, into the camp, and towards the woods.

She is grateful for the drink. It had been at least two days since she had a proper one. Anna chokes with the first sip but takes the second one anyways. Semi-hydrated again, Anna steps briskly to keep up with the Major’s fast strides. The brunette doesn’t vocally thank him for fear of getting caught but she gives him a nod of appreciation. Her own fingers instinctively and unintentionally remain locked around his flask.

In the distance, early rising birds begin to chirp the first forewarning that everything would soon come awash with brilliant yellow light. The appearance of the sunshine would make their escape far more difficult. Nothing draws more attention than a pair of cherry red coats traveling through the leaf-barren forest. Attention was the very last thing they needed to attract. But first, they had to get out of the camp which, was, unfortunately, starting to awaken all around them.

((To be continued))

#annastrxng #anna strong #major hewlett #annlett #fanfiction #my fanfiction #after 62+hours of agonizing I'm turning this loose before it kills me #turn amc #major hewlett x anna strong #tw: long post #the overall title will probably change as I get further along but lol

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iamemyrae · 7 years ago

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Christ is Your Foundation Through out the Bible we read about Christ being the head of the church and the head of our lives and households. Marriages are not exempt from that. I especially like Colossians 3:12-17: "Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." After these verses, we're given instructions on how to run our households, how to act towards our spouses, etc. And it only seems fitting that the last verse says "...whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus." Christ should always be, first and foremost, our foundation in marriage. If you have a dispute, take it to God...together. If you are dealing with something at work, take it to God before unloading on your spouse. If you're having issues with finances in your marriage, God is waiting for you to consult with Him. And even if you are having an amazing day...you guessed it...make sure you are beginning and ending your day singing praises to our King...individually and together. While husbands are head of the household and wives are co-managers; Jesus is the President...the King. The author and finisher of our lives. In everything we do, say, and think, we should first think about how this affects our relationship with Christ and whether or not it will please Him. Notice I said Him and not your spouse. We should certainly be concerned with pleasing our spouses, but we must first be concerned and lead by the convictions of the Holy Spirit. When your desire to please God outweighs your desire to please your spouse and the rest of the world, your marriage becomes impenetrable. Husbands, you can only efficiently run your household if you first have a better relationship with Christ, a better relationship than you have with your spouse. Be a little more concerned with pleasing God by making the right decisions versus displeasing your spouse and sleeping on the sofa that night. Wives, before you can manage your home, husband, children, work and everything else that gets thrown at you during the day, you must first make a commitment to and make time for God in the mornings and evenings. Before you can fully give your husband what he needs from you, you must first give Christ your undivided attention. You must first become the wife and woman that God wants you to be before you can become the wife that your husband needs you to be. The same goes for each spouse. Before you can fully be the husband or wife your spouse needs you to be, you must first become the man or woman in Christ that God has called you to be -- the husband or wife that He longs for you to be, daily walking in grace, mercy and love. But in order to become that, you must have your foundation firmly placed in Christ in all situations. This doesn't mean we won't come unglued sometimes -- we most definitely will. But in the end, are you making your marriage and household decisions based on self righteousness? Or are you making these decisions based on "is this obedient to Christ and will it please the Lord"? Prioritizing Relationships It's hard to prioritize relationships now days because we have so many relationships to keep up with. However, the basics are fairly simple. God. Spouse. Children. Other Relationships. God lays it out pretty easily for us through the Bible, and I hope that I've conveyed it through out this entire series with plenty of scripture references. First, every Christian should have a firm foundation in Christ, as stated above. But it's not as easy as just believing in God. Jesus longs for a personal one-on-one relationship with each of us. Too often we prioritize work and play over our relationship with God, and then we complain that we don't have enough time to read the Bible or pray. If we thought logically, we could cut the TV off in the mornings and evenings and read the word of God. Rather than watching that TV show that you most likely shouldn't be watching, spend that time praying and asking God to reveal Himself to you more and more. And most of all, ask Him what He wills for you to do to further His kingdom...and then be ready and willing to hear for the answer. Second, your spouse. Say what? Aren't children more important? Well, yes and no. Children need you in their lives. They need to be taken care of, fed, taught, clothed. Those things are no brainer's. However, your spouse should always take priority over them. That doesn't mean you aren't supposed to take care of your children, because you most certainly are. But it does mean if your husband needs your attention or help, you give it to him rather than saying "I can't right now, I'm busy with the kids". Far too often moms complain that their husbands never show them attention, when in all reality their husband has tried, but the wife was just "too busy with the kids". And wives, this most certainly always means that you serve your spouse before serving your children -- something as simple as making his place setting at the table first can show more respect than you may think, and it teaches your sons and daughters how to treat their father as well (and how they should treat or be treated by their future spouse). Husbands, this means that if your wife needs your help bringing up the laundry from downstairs, you don't tell the kids to help her, you help her. She is longing for your help, not her children's. This also means that if your wife wants to be near you or vent, you send the kids outside for 15 minutes or tell them to go stay in the living room for a little bit while mommy and daddy go have a private conversation in their locked bedroom. Third, children. Children will always come before other family members and friendships outside of your household. You have been given the amazing task of training these little human beings. It is your responsibility to make sure that they are receiving the training and instruction that they should from you. This may mean no more late nights out with the guys, or no more girls nights out every month. This might mean picking and choosing which friendships or family relationships are worth keep, and which ones should be severed due to not being a good influence on your children. These are tough decisions to make, but they are completely essential to raising a child of God. Last, all other relationships. As mentioned above, sometimes we have to pick and choose which relationships are beneficial to us and to our families. Sometimes these are tough decisions to make, but they are essential. You'll find that the more obedient you are in Christ, the happier your life will be....even during the tough decision making moments. This doesn't mean that you can't have friends, you most certainly should. But make sure that these friends and family relationships are beneficial to your family -- that they are a Christ like influence on you and your spouse. If they aren't, maybe it's time to pray about it and consider cutting those ties and moving on. In everything you do and in every decision you make, be sure that you're heeding to the Holy Spirit. Ask yourself these questions: Would this relationship please God? Would I want my children acting the way my friends do? Are my friends/family a bad influence on my marriage? Is this relationship or decision going to help my marriage grow, or make it take an unnecessary blow? Always remember that God, your spouse and your children are your first priorities. When He sends you, you should follow. Whether it be physically moving and going where He sends you or it just be a step for growth in your marriage and walk with Christ. In Closing.... I hope that you have enjoyed this "What is a Godly Marriage?" blog series. As you can see, your marriage is one of the greatest ministries you can have in this world, and because of that, Satan certainly tries his hardest to make marriages fail....especially Christ centered ones. I urge you to read and re-read each blog post. I also urge you to do your own reading of the word and search God's heart while going through this series. I wish I could touch on every little thing that God has laid on my heart for you, but there aren't enough pages in this world...as we are constantly growing and learning in Him. We'll never get to a point where we "know everything" there is to know and understand about God's design for our lives, including marriage. Each marriage is individually unique, but if we follow that basics that are laid out in the Bible for us, I know that we can beat the rising divorce statistics that this world so diligently wants us to fall into. Blessings to you and your marriage. I pray peace and understanding would fill your hearts, and that unconditional love would fill your homes!

#amy

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