#hyecn

[suhcn]

                despite her tendency to never cook... at all, saturday morning found hani in front of her ( barely used ) stove, frowning above a pot of simmering soybean stew. the girl was still exhausted from her stint at the club last night ( and even more exhausted from rolling around in the sheets with hyeon after ), but she had managed to sluggishly drag her ass to the shower that morning--- as well as into a clean hoodie and underwear--- in order to make breakfast for the two of them. ---- or at least attempt it, of course. a sigh filters through her lips as she sends another confused glance towards the dish, still not entirely sure if she was following the proper steps. she pauses to rake her fingers through her dark hair, glancing back towards the other side of the studio apartment where the other girl still slept in suhan’s bed. a soft smile spreads across her lips briefly, before she’s turning back towards the stove with an agitated groan. “i fucking forgot to start the rice,” she mumbles to herself, already bending over and reaching into the lower cabinet in order to grab the bag of rice that sat there. [ ft. @hyecn. ]

[seemingcupid-blog]

all the people questions from that meme ya hooker 💖

⌈ ✉ ⌉ » @hyecn !

⌈ ✉ ⌉ » selectively accepting ( now ) !

♡. —01 : a memory from jangmi’s childhood ?

jangmi’s mother worked a lot when jangmi was younger ( & still does in fact . they’re both workaholics ) , so when heiran ( her mother ) would work , jangmi would either be dropped off to a family friend or a family friend would come over to their home to watch her . & during holidays , jangmi would be dropped off to a family friend because heiran worked on holidays . it was a christmas morning while she was seven years old when she went downstairs to sneak a few sweets while everyone was asleep , but she saw her “ uncle & aunt “ putting presents under the tree . she knew santa didn’t exist , & she knew her uncle would buy her presents , but she didn’t think she’d hear the words that left his mouth .

“ i know we bought the present but just — just write that it’s from her mother , okay ? her mother hasn’t spoken to her in a week , okay ? give the kid a little sympathy . “

& that’s when she know that this is what holidays in her household would be : without her mother but with lies of an involvement that wasn’t hers . bile upon tongue , misty smile upon face of held contently , she accepted told tales with the will of a champion ( of a child who’s learned ) .

♡. — 02 : a memory from jangmi’s teenage years ?

with her teenage years , they came with much more knowledge than a simple young adult should have . the knowledge that your mother could live fine without the presence of blood upon familiarity . the knowledge that you could live just as your mother could , but without her own presence of drifted affections you never received from such a woman . however , as much as that knowledge held part in her head , growing insecurities & a hole in your chest that never seemed to fill ( even with bits & pieces that wisp & wither , grown from the bitterness of appled aromas ) glided alongside . something of misfortune , something of a beginning plague that would prove to become worse . seeds of doubt within her skin from a mother’s negligence , but you wished resurrection sat within fingertips . & the first boy who’s ever even brushed surfaces of your heart experienced such firsthand , an experience that had scarred gentle tips that still cracked your gentle surfaces lying under armor . it was your fault , hmm ? a damned drag of dusted exteriors of marbled love , but you know love . you know love with your heart ( or you think you do ! ) , but your heart has yet to learn to receive such .

“ why can’t you get it through your head that maybe someone likes you for  YOU  . “ shut down , system failure , & there’s the first mistake of many repeats . it’s not something a maiden of sugared salt would quite catch at first attempt . strike one .

“ what’s your problem ? do you even  l o v e  me ? “

♡. — 03 : a memory from jangmi’s career ?

there’s an extent ( a bounded limit ) jangmi allows herself to become attached to clients . maybe it’s because the girl reminded her of herself . maybe it’s because the mother reminded her of her own . maybe it’s because of both those reason that she continued to immerse herself into the two & their conflicts . a workaholic . a developing workaholic ( something jangmi can spot well in the teen years , something of experience ) . distance too tense to nick with a knife of reason or a knife of explosion . she can see her own family within the cherried glass of the other family , a tragedy at its finest but only from something that begins ever so sparsely into heartache .

maybe it’s because they reminded her of her own torn family : shattered , suffocated , wilted . maybe it’s because she knows how it ends , but there was a crash in her heart , a clench that jangmi felt so tight it restricted breath in the way atmosphere allows starlight . something that breaks oh so easily , beyond repair the porcelain cracks oh so gently . maybe it’s because what she saw was her family , but oh . jangmi felt the scornful tear when she realized some things are like bridges , too burned ever recover to a state of thriving abundance of bustling life .

“ doctor bom , i don’t think my daughter & i will be attending these sessions anymore . this isn’t helping us ; i don’t think it can be help . it’s not your fault . you tried , but she & i don’t see this getting better than it’s ever been . have a nice day . “

♡. — 04 : a memory that jangmi cherishes ?

her job — lovely , amazing , wonderful career — has its ups & its downs . many times , she’s allowed the chance to attempt to aid a family or relationship ( maybe even individual ) piece themselves back together with the intent of blossoming roses in their hearts , for love is not without thorns . but thorns , they can be a beautiful show of zero tolerance to hands of diminishing touch , an existence of vanishing breath . they can be the growth of necessary hardness to survive atmosphere of singing sirens . a warmth in her chest , a thing of hearth , she lets a beaming curl adjust to lips of painted hues .

she turns the page of the handmade card , teeth showing with the genuiity displayed by the hands of a helped child . “ thank you , doctor bom ! eomma & appa told me not to bother you too much , but every once in a while , they told me i could call you & tell you how we are ! they’re so happy . i’m so happy .” a breathless laughter , lungless supply , & palms push to wipe away the tears lacing the tearducts of her eyes .

♡. — 05 : a memory that jangmi wishes to erase ?

the fire that begins in your heart is pouring from your chest , lighting skin upon flames made by purposeful ignorance of tempting affection . & when he pours something of sweet tenderness into veins of glass shattering , there’s suffocation within a maiden of wilted caresses . laughter , a smile , happiness that becomes of an expression that’s usually laced in nothing more or less than pure exhaustion . & when eyes of chocolate bitterness take upon the appearance of emptied drawers & the side of a bed that breathes no life , there’s the aching that starts at her heart & pours out to her skin , a sweet burn from the intoxication she pours into herself , toxic poison to fill the hole he left . “ erase him , erase him ,  erase him  . “

♡. — 06 : something that makes jangmi angry ?

something that makes jangmi angry ? what makes her angry is people who don’t want to help themselves , but while they’re affecting people around them . for example , there are multiple times she’s had a family or couple or group of people come in , & they come in for help . but there’s one person who’s literally keeping themselves in the same place while the other(s) are moving forward , even knowing that it’s hurting the people who care & are trying to help them . & that fact ? the fact that they know they’re hurting the other person ( or people ) & don’t care enough to accept any help or support offered to them .

♡. — 07 : something that makes jangmi happy ?

caring for others make jangmi happy . knowing that what she’s doing ( whether it be working or talking or really anything ) is helping someone else by making them better or their situation better . & seeing the successful result is something that makes her happy as well .

♡. — 08 : something that makes jangmi laugh ?

really dark puns & really dark humor makes jangmi laugh , honestly . & sarcasm . um ? things generally on the sarcasm or morbid side of the humor spectrum . generally , though , she’s a sucker for really dry humor as well as really witty puns ? not dad jokes but really like … i don’t know … well thought out puns that probably would first fly over someone’s head .

♡. — 09 : something that frightens jangmi ?

intimacy that involves like … sharing emotions & everything of such that . failure & abandonment , too . & not having financial stability . so , all in all , things that she can’t very well see the future of .

♡. — 10 : something that turns jangmi on ?

love & support . NO , I’M JOKING (  but am i ?  ) . but really , what turns jangmi on is like … i don’t know … tattoos ? danger ? anything that’s not necessarily good for her (  COUGH COUGH COUGH POSSIBLE PLOT  ? ) .

♡. — 11 : describe jangmi’s childhood friend ?

jangmi , honestly , didn’t have a lot of childhood friends . she like .. forced herself to be busy , like she does now , but she only had a few distinctly . like the one that she remembers clearly in jeju , he used to be shorter than her ( which he grew to be taller than her ) . he always spoke his thoughts out loud , & he always told her that she could have dinner with him & his brother if she needed anyone with her at home , that his home was hers . he always seemed a little rude to the other kids , but that’s because they never let off of jangmi . & he was always trying to protect her , even when he couldn’t , but she doesn’t know him now . the last time they spoke was in secondary school , which was because of his worsening behavior issues .

♡. — 12 : describe jangmi’s parents ?

jangmi never knew her father , but his name is jung taehwang . he’s still alive now , but she has no current contact with him ( & neither has she ever had any with him . she’s never met him ) . however , that’s probably a good thing considering he was a very impulsive , impatient , & volatile man . think of him as a volcano , always threatening to erupt until he does . then he goes dormant once more , each snap another sign to others he might be ready to erupt , keeping those around him paranoid & on edge .

her mother , bom heiran , has always been independent & very … hardworking ( yea , let’s just say that ) . her parents hated how … little family - orientated she was , & they hated how she didn’t need them in her life . they hated how early she found herself & how early she detached from them . & heiran always has let work suck her in like a black hole , not even letting her child pull her from that black hole of labor .

♡. — 13 : describe jangmi’s former lover ?

let’s not .

♡. — 14 : describe jangmi’s current best friend ?

lol what’s that .

♡. — 15 : describe jangmi’s worst enemy ?

she doesn’t have one .

♡. — 16 : what jangmi does on a day of ?

i don’t really know what this question is asking so ? ? ?

♡. — 17 : what kind of books jangmi reads ?

jangmi reads a lot of educational books — textbooks , journals , educational journals , etc . a lot of the time , she’s reading them to help her with her job . however , she does read newspapers & news stories & sometimes she even reads romance novels .

♡. — 18 : what kind of music jangmi likes ?

jangmi loves classical music — piano , violin , cello , viola , etc . sometimes when she needs background noise , she puts on instrumentals . besides that , she does enjoy pop , but she’s very picky with the music she listens to daily .

♡. — 19 : what jangmi does when she wakes up ?

jangmi wakes up extremely early in the morning , & the first thing she does is grab a cup of coffee to wake her up . after she burns her mouth with coffee , she jumps in the shower & then gets dress & goes out to work ( with more coffee in her hands ) . her mornings aren’t very interesting , honestly ? it’s more of … she’s just trying to get from  point a  to  point b  .

♡. — 20 : what jangmi is like at social events ?

jangmi is either a social butterfly ( when she’s forced to be ) or she’s a willing wallflower . either way , she’s not enjoying her time ( unless she’s working ) . most of the time , though , she likes to go where the alcohol & food is & stand where that is , but it’s not unusual for her friends ( if she attends with any friends of her own ) to drag her around .