#hwan hyunjin fic | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dandelions-143 · 1 month ago

Text

Sex Tape - Hyunjin

Kintober Masterlist

Word Count: 5114

Warnings: MDNI, 18+ ONLY, explicit sexual content, taped sexual acts, over stem.

No summary just smut under the cut

You held your hand out, fingers splayed in a futile attempt to shield your face from the lens of the vintage video recorder Hyunjin was pointing at you. The device, an old Panasonic VHS-C camcorder from the late 1980s, was just the latest addition to his ever-growing collection of retro cameras. Its bulky form and slightly worn edges spoke of years of use, giving it a charm that modern, sleek devices simply couldn't match.

"Hyunjin, stop!" you whined, your voice a mix of embarrassment and amusement. The red recording light blinked steadily, a silent testament to the moment being captured. "Come on... I look terrible today." Your hair was slightly disheveled, and you were wearing your comfiest, albeit least flattering, loungewear - a baggy t-shirt with a faded logo and well-worn sweatpants.

Hyunjin chuckled, the sound warm and affectionate. His eyes crinkled at the corners, forming little crow's feet that you found utterly endearing. He lowered the camera slightly, revealing his face. His hair was pushed back with a headband, a few stray strands falling over his forehead. The soft whirring of the device filled the comfortable silence between you, a nostalgic sound that transported you back to a time before digital dominance.

"You're stunning," he insisted, his voice rich with sincerity. His gaze softened as he looked at you, a mix of adoration and admiration evident in his eyes. "You could definitely be an actress, a model... your face is made for the camera." As he spoke, he adjusted the focus ring on the lens, ensuring every detail of your expression was captured perfectly.

His words sent a rush of heat to your cheeks, a blush creeping up your neck despite your attempts to hide. The compliment, delivered with such earnestness, made your heart flutter. You could feel the warmth spreading across your face, knowing that the old camera, with its ability to capture the subtle play of light and shadow, would undoubtedly record your flushed complexion in all its glory.

Noticing your persistent shyness, Hyunjin gently set the camera down on a nearby mahogany table. He angled it carefully, ensuring it would still capture the intimate moment unfolding between you.

Hyunjin approached you with measured steps, his movements slow and deliberate. The floorboards creaked softly beneath his feet, adding to the cozy atmosphere of the room. "Hey," he said, his voice as gentle as a summer breeze. He reached out, his hands warm and inviting. As his fingers intertwined with yours, you felt a comforting tingle spread from your fingertips up your arms.

"You don't have to hide," Hyunjin continued, his eyes soft and understanding. "I just want to capture this moment with you." His thumb traced soothing circles on the back of your hand, a silent reassurance. Slowly, he guided your hands away from your face, revealing your features to the camera's lens.

Your heart fluttered in your chest, its rhythm quickening at the tenderness in Hyunjin's gaze. His eyes, a warm shade of brown, held a depth of emotion that made you feel cherished and safe. The vintage camera continued its soft mechanical song in the background, a testament to Hyunjin's passion for preserving memories in a tangible, nostalgic format.

"Okay, okay," you conceded with a soft laugh that filled the room like melodious chimes. You squeezed his hands, feeling the strength in his grip. "But only because it's you." The words came out barely above a whisper, laden with affection.

Hyunjin's face transformed at your words, lighting up with unbridled joy. His smile, brighter than any camera flash, crinkled the corners of his eyes and revealed a row of perfect teeth. The happiness radiating from him was almost palpable, filling the space between you with warmth and love.

Hyunjin returned to the camera, his eyes sparkling with renewed enthusiasm. As he lifted the device, its weight familiar in his hands, you felt a sudden surge of confidence coursing through your veins. The nervousness that had plagued you earlier evaporated like morning mist, replaced by a playful energy that tingled in your fingertips.

You struck an exaggerated pose, channeling your inner supermodel. Your arms stretched dramatically overhead, one hip cocked to the side, and your lips pursed in an over-the-top pout. The ridiculous stance caused Hyunjin to burst into laughter, the sound rich and warm, filling the room with joy. His shoulders shook with mirth as he struggled to keep the camera steady, his eyes crinkling at the corners in that way you loved.

"That's it, baby," he encouraged between chuckles, his voice warm with affection and a hint of something more. "Just be yourself." The vintage camera whirred softly, capturing your genuine smile, the love that shone in your eyes, and the comfortable intimacy between you. The red recording light blinked steadily, a silent witness to your shared moment.

As the minutes ticked by, you found yourself relaxing more and more under Hyunjin's attentive gaze. You twirled for the camera, letting out a carefree laugh as your hair fanned out around you. The soft afternoon light streaming through the windows caught the highlights in your tresses, creating a halo effect that Hyunjin couldn't help but admire.

Suddenly, Hyunjin lowered the camera slightly, his eyes meeting yours over the top of the device. A mischievous glint appeared in his gaze, sending a thrill of anticipation down your spine. "Hey, baby," he said, his voice dropping to a sultry tone that made your breath catch in your throat. "Why don't you show me your sexy side?"

The suggestion caught you off guard, a delicious mix of excitement and nervousness fluttering in your stomach like a swarm of butterflies. Your breath hitched as you considered his words, the atmosphere in the room shifting palpably. The air seemed to grow thicker, charged with an electric tension that made your skin prickle with awareness. You could feel the weight of Hyunjin's gaze on you, intense and full of desire, as he waited for your response.

"You mean... like, right now?" you asked, your voice a mix of surprise and intrigue. Your eyes widened slightly, a flush creeping up your neck as the implications of Hyunjin's suggestion sank in. The room suddenly felt warmer, the air thick with anticipation.

Hyunjin nodded, his gaze intense as he watched you through the viewfinder. His adam's apple bobbed as he swallowed hard, the movement drawing your attention to the strong line of his jaw. His fingers tightened almost imperceptibly on the camera, betraying his own nervousness and excitement.

"Only if you're comfortable," he assured you, his voice dropping an octave lower, the deep timbre sending shivers down your spine. His eyes, usually a warm brown, had darkened with desire, the pupils dilating as they roamed over your form. "But I'd love to capture how beautiful and sensual you are." His words hung in the air between you, charged with electricity. They ignited a spark of desire within you, your skin tingling with anticipation, goosebumps rising along your arms despite the warmth of the room.

You bit your lip, considering his request. The soft flesh gave under your teeth, and you noticed how Hyunjin's gaze zeroed in on the movement, his breath catching audibly. The vintage camera whirred softly in his hands, its mechanical sound oddly soothing in the charged atmosphere. It was a tangible reminder of the moment, of the potential to capture something intimate and beautiful.

With a deep breath, you decided to embrace the moment. You could feel your inhibitions slowly melting away like ice under a warm sun, replaced by a heady mix of nervousness and excitement. Your heart raced in your chest, its rhythm matching the steady blink of the camera's recording light. As you met Hyunjin's gaze again, a silent understanding passed between you, and you felt a surge of confidence. This was Hyunjin, after all - the person you trusted most in the world. With him, you were safe to explore, to be vulnerable, to be sensual.

Your fingers, trembling with a mix of nervousness and excitement, traced a delicate path down your body. They danced along your collarbone, skimmed over the swell of your breasts, and finally came to rest at the hem of your shirt. The soft cotton fabric felt cool against your fingertips as you toyed with it, your touch feather-light and teasing. You could feel the heat of Hyunjin's gaze through the camera lens, his intense focus making your skin tingle.

With a coy smile playing on your lips, you slowly began to lift the material. The fabric whispered against your skin as it rose, revealing your body inch by tantalizing inch. First, the smooth plane of your stomach came into view, the soft curves of your waist accentuated by the dim lighting. As you continued to raise the shirt, the delicate lace of your bra peeked out, the intricate patterns casting subtle shadows on your skin.

Hyunjin's reaction was immediate and visceral. His breath hitched audibly, the sound sharp in the quiet room. You watched as his knuckles turned white, his grip on the camera tightening to the point where you could see the tendons in his hands straining. Despite his obvious desire, his movements remained steady, the camera unwavering as he captured every sensual movement. The red recording light blinked steadily, a silent witness to the intimate moment unfolding between you.

Emboldened by Hyunjin's encouraging gaze, you let your shirt fall to the floor with a soft rustle. The fabric whispered against your skin as it descended, revealing your lace-trimmed bra inch by tantalizing inch. The delicate material hugged your curves perfectly, the intricate floral patterns of the lace casting intricate shadows on your skin in the dim light. Your chest rose and fell with quickened breaths, the subtle movement drawing Hyunjin's eyes to the swell of your breasts.

The camera's soft whirring seemed to intensify, its mechanical purr matching the rapid beating of your heart. You could almost feel the heat of Hyunjin's gaze through the lens, his eyes darkening with unbridled desire. His pupils dilated visibly as he drank in the sight of you, his adam's apple bobbing as he swallowed hard. "You're breathtaking, baby," he whispered, his voice dropping an octave, husky and thick with want.

You bit down on your bottom lip, feeling the plump flesh give under your teeth. The slight sting sent a jolt of pleasure through you, heightening your senses. Your fingers, trembling slightly with anticipation, trailed over your exposed stomach. The touch left a trail of tingling skin in its wake, goosebumps rising as your hand moved lower. You traced the curve of your hip, fingers dancing along the waistband of your pants before coming to rest on the soft fabric of your sweat pants.

"You watching?" you teased, your voice low and sultry, barely above a whisper. Your eyes locked with Hyunjin's, the intensity of his gaze making your breath catch in your throat. "Don't take your eyes off me, now." The words came out as both a command and a plea, charged with the electric tension building between you. You held his gaze, feeling a heady rush of power at the way his eyes seemed unable to leave your form. The red recording light of the camera blinked steadily, silently capturing every detail of this intimate moment.

Your hands moved to remove your pants, the soft rustle of the draw strings being untied and coming undone echoing in the quiet room. The sound seemed amplified in the charged atmosphere, sending a shiver of anticipation down your spine. With deliberate slowness, you hooked your thumbs into the waistband, relishing the feel of the soft material against your fingertips. You began to slide the fabric down your hips, revealing more and more skin. The cloth whispered against your legs as it fell, the friction creating a subtle tingling sensation that heightened your awareness of every exposed nerve ending.

Hyunjin's gaze intensified, his eyes darkening with unbridled desire as the camera captured every exquisite detail. You could see his pupils dilate even more, drinking in the sight of your curves being unveiled - the soft dip of your waist, the gentle swell of your hips, the smooth expanse of your thighs. The vintage camera whirred softly, its mechanical purr a stark contrast to Hyunjin's labored breathing. "Baby, you're driving me crazy," he murmured, his voice thick and husky with want. A slight tremor in his hands betrayed his composure, the camera wavering almost imperceptibly as he fought to keep it steady.

You giggled softly, the sound light and teasing, a stark contrast to the heavy tension in the air. Slowly, you turned around, presenting your back to Hyunjin. The movement was deliberate, almost choreographed in its sensuality. You glanced over your shoulder, catching his intense gaze through the camera lens. The heat in his eyes sent a jolt of arousal straight to your core. Your hands, slightly trembling with anticipation, reached behind you to unhook your bra. The delicate lace fabric whispered against your skin as you carefully unclasped each hook, the suspense building with every tiny 'click'. The straps slid down your shoulders, revealing the smooth plane of your back inch by inch. You could feel Hyunjin's gaze like a physical touch, tracing the curve of your spine, the subtle dimples at the small of your back.

As the bra fell away, you let it slide down your arms with exquisite slowness, savoring the sensation of the cool air kissing your newly exposed skin. Goosebumps erupted across your flesh, a physical manifestation of the anticipation coursing through your veins. You glanced over your shoulder, your eyes locking with Hyunjin's intense gaze through the camera lens. His eyes, usually a warm brown, had darkened to near black with desire, his pupils dilated so wide they nearly eclipsed the iris. His lips were slightly parted, his breath coming in shallow pants as he drank in the sight of your bare back.

The anticipation built to a fever pitch as you began to turn to face him. Your movements were deliberate and sensual, each shift of your body a carefully choreographed dance designed to tease and entice. As you pivoted, the soft glow of the room played across your skin, casting gentle shadows that accentuated every curve and dip of your body. The light caught the subtle sheen of perspiration on your skin, making you glisten like a work of art come to life.

Hyunjin's reaction was immediate and visceral. A deep, guttural groan escaped his lips, the sound so primal it made your pussy throb intensely. The camera wavered in his hands, the image blurring momentarily as his grip faltered. You watched as he visibly steadied himself, his jaw clenching with the effort of maintaining his composure. His knuckles turned white as he tightened his hold on the camera, determined to capture every exquisite detail of your beauty despite his own overwhelming desire.

His eyes roamed over your body with an intensity that felt almost tangible, as if his gaze alone could caress your skin. You could see the hunger burning in his eyes as they traced the slope of your neck, lingered on the swell of your breasts, and followed the curve of your waist. His chest rose and fell with quickened breaths, each inhale sharp and ragged. A flush had crept up his neck, staining his cheeks a deep red that spoke volumes about the depth of his arousal. The air between you crackled with tension, electric and charged with unspoken promises of pleasure to come.

Your nipples instantly hardened under his scrutiny, the cool air and the heat of his gaze sending electric shivers cascading down your spine. You watched, heart racing, as his eyes focused intently on your breasts, drinking in every detail of your peaked nipples and the soft, inviting curves of your chest. Hyunjin's tongue darted out, slowly wetting his lips in an unconscious gesture of want. The tip of his pink tongue traced the outline of his mouth, leaving a glistening trail that caught the dim light. His lips, now moist and slightly parted, looked even more inviting than usual, tempting you to lean in and capture them with your own.

"Keep going, baby," Hyunjin encouraged, his voice dropping to a low, husky whisper that seemed to reverberate through your very core. The deep timbre of his words sent a jolt of arousal straight to your center, igniting a fire that spread rapidly through your body. You could hear the barely contained desire in his voice, the way it trembled slightly with the effort of maintaining control. "You're so beautiful," he continued, his eyes never leaving your body as he adjusted the camera slightly. The soft whir of the device seemed amplified in the charged atmosphere. "I want to capture every inch of you, every curve, every perfect detail." His words washed over you like a warm caress, making you feel both exposed and empowered. You could see the adoration in his eyes, mixed with a hunger that made your breath catch in your throat. Your confidence grew with each passing second under his adoring gaze, emboldening you to move with even more sensuality. The knowledge that every movement, every expression was being immortalized on film only heightened your arousal, pushing you to embrace your sexuality fully.

"Turn around for me," he whispered, his voice husky with desire. His eyes, dark and intense, roamed over your body as you slowly pivoted. The soft whir of the camera filled the room, punctuated by Hyunjin's sharp intake of breath. The red recording light blinked steadily, capturing every curve and contour of your form.

"You're perfect," he murmured, his free hand reaching out to caress your skin. The first touch of his fingers sent a jolt of electricity through your body, making you gasp and arch into his touch. His calloused fingertips, warm and slightly rough, traced delicate patterns along your collarbone. The contrast between his gentle touch and the coolness of the air made goosebumps erupt across your skin.

Slowly, teasingly, his hand moved lower. It skimmed over the swell of your breast, his thumb just barely grazing your nipple. The feather-light touch sent a shiver down your spine, your nipple hardening instantly. You bit your lip, stifling a moan as his hand continued its exploration, tracing the curve of your waist and the dip of your ribcage. Each touch left a trail of tingling skin in its wake, your body hyper-aware of every point of contact. Your breath caught in your throat as his fingers danced along the sensitive skin of your stomach, the muscles there quivering under his touch.

With agonizing slowness, he slid his hand lower, his touch feather-light yet scorching against your sensitive skin. His fingers danced over the curve of your ass, kneading the soft flesh with a gentleness that belied the hunger in his eyes. A low, primal growl rumbled deep in his chest as he pressed his body flush against yours, the heat of his skin searing into you like a brand. Every hard plane of his muscles, every defined contour of his body molded perfectly against your softer curves, creating a delicious friction that had you gasping for air.

You could feel the rapid rise and fall of his chest against your back, his heart thundering in tandem with yours. The contrast between his firm grip on your hip and the gentle caress of his other hand, still steadily holding the camera, sent conflicting waves of sensation through your body. It was as if he was simultaneously claiming you and worshipping you, the dichotomy igniting a fire deep in your core that threatened to consume you entirely.

The feel of his hard, sculpted muscles pressing against your soft flesh sent violent shivers cascading down your spine. Every subtle movement, every breath, allowed you to map the contours of his toned body with your skin. The heat radiating from him was almost overwhelming, his skin feeling like liquid fire against yours. The stark contrast between his firm, chiseled physique and your softer, more yielding curves was intoxicating, each point of contact between your bodies a source of exquisite pleasure.

A powerful wave of arousal rolled through your body, starting from where his skin met yours and spreading outward like wildfire. The intensity of the sensation made you instinctively squeeze your thighs together, desperately seeking some friction to alleviate the growing ache between your legs.

Hyunjin's voice dropped to a seductive whisper, his hot breath tickling the sensitive shell of your ear. "Turn around, baby," he murmured, his lips barely grazing your earlobe. "Let me see that beautiful face." His words were like liquid velvet, wrapping around you and drawing you in, impossible to resist.

You complied, your movements slow and deliberate. As you turned, you savored the exquisite sensation of his body sliding against yours. The friction of skin on skin was electrifying, each point of contact sending sparks of pleasure coursing through your veins. Your nipples, already hardened peaks, brushed against his chest, eliciting a soft gasp from your lips.

Finally face to face, your eyes met his intense gaze through the camera lens. You felt utterly exposed, vulnerable under his scrutiny, yet the vulnerability only served to heighten your arousal. Your heart raced, its rapid tempo echoing in your ears as a flush crept up your chest, staining your cheeks a deep crimson.

"Now," Hyunjin commanded softly, his voice husky and thick with desire, "touch yourself for me." His free hand reached out, fingers ghosting along your collarbone, leaving a trail of tingling skin in their wake. "Start with your breasts. Show me how you like to be touched." His eyes burned with an intensity that made your breath catch in your throat, pupils dilated so wide they nearly eclipsed the warm brown of his irises.

Your hands trembled with anticipation as you cupped your breasts, the soft, pliant flesh yielding under your touch. You began to tease the sensitive buds, your fingers dancing across the areolas before gently rolling the hardened peaks between your thumb and forefinger. The sensation sent sparks of pleasure shooting through your body, making your breath catch in your throat.

A soft, breathy moan escaped your lips as you increased the pressure, pinching your nipples with just enough force to teeter on the edge of pain and pleasure. The jolt of sensation went straight to your core, igniting a fire that spread rapidly through your lower belly. Your back arched involuntarily, pressing your breasts further into your hands as you continued your ministrations.

Hyunjin's reaction was immediate. His breath hitched audibly, the sound sharp and ragged in the quiet room. The camera wavered slightly in his grip, the image blurring for a moment before he steadied himself. His eyes, dark with desire, were fixed on your hands as they worked your breasts.

"That's it, baby," he growled, his voice dropping an octave lower, thick and husky with lust. The sound sent another wave of arousal coursing through your body. "You're so fucking sexy. The way you touch yourself... it's driving me crazy." He shifted his stance, adjusting his grip on the camera. "Keep going," he urged, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. "Show me how good it feels."

"Slide your hand down," he instructed, his voice dropping to a gravelly whisper that sent electricity coursing through your veins. The roughness in his tone was palpable, each word dripping with unbridled desire. "Spread those beautiful legs for me," he continued, his eyes darkening to an almost obsidian hue. "I want to see just how wet you are for me, baby." His gaze, intense and unwavering, burned into your skin as he made minute adjustments to the camera, ensuring every tantalizing detail would be captured.

You complied, your fingers quivering with a mix of anticipation and arousal as they traced a torturously slow path down your stomach. The cool air of the room kissed your heated skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in the wake of your touch. Your breath hitched as your hand inched lower, the anticipation building with each passing second. As your legs parted, the rush of cool air against your heated core made you gasp audibly, the sudden contrast in temperature sending a jolt of pleasure through your body.

Your fingers finally reached the apex of your thighs, and the first brush against your sensitive flesh elicited a breathy moan that echoed in the quiet room. The camera whirred softly, its lens drinking in every detail - the slight arch of your back as pleasure coursed through you, the rosy flush that crept up your chest, painting your skin with desire, and the way your teeth worried your bottom lip, a mix of concentration and ecstasy etched on your features. Your fingers explored further, sliding through the slick heat of your arousal, and you couldn't suppress the shuddering gasp that escaped your lips as you touched yourself more intimately.

"That's my good girl," Hyunjin praised, his voice thick with lust. The sound of it sent a jolt of arousal straight to your core, making your inner walls clench with anticipation. His eyes, dark and intense, burned with desire behind the camera lens, drinking in every minute detail of your exposed form. "Now, I want you to finger yourself," he continued, his words coming out in a low, gravelly tone that made your skin prickle with goosebumps. "Nice and slow. Let me hear every pretty little sound you make."

You held his gaze as you settled back, your body sinking into the soft, cool sheets. The contrast between the silky fabric and your heated skin sent a shiver down your spine. "Like this?" you asked, your voice barely above a whisper, breathy and trembling with arousal. Your fingers, slightly shaky with anticipation, found your swollen clit. The first contact sent a jolt of electricity through your body, making you gasp audibly. You began to circle it slowly, teasingly, feeling it swell further under your touch. Each pass of your fingertips sent waves of pleasure radiating outward, making your toes curl and your back arch slightly off the bed. Your hips rolled instinctively, seeking more friction, the movement fluid and sensual. The soft whir of the camera seemed to grow louder in the charged atmosphere, capturing every twitch, every gasp, every expression of pleasure that flitted across your face.

In the dim lighting, your arousal glistened on your fingers, the sight making Hyunjin's breath hitch audibly. The soft, warm light cast a golden glow on your skin, accentuating every curve and dip of your body. Your fingers moved languidly, spreading the slick wetness, each movement causing the light to dance across your glistening flesh. The sight was mesmerizing, drawing Hyunjin's gaze like a moth to a flame.

Your own labored breathing mixed with Hyunjin's, creating a symphony of desire that filled the room. Each exhale was punctuated by soft, breathy moans that seemed to caress the air. The sound of your pleasure was intoxicating, making Hyunjin's heart race and his body burn with need. His breath came in short, ragged gasps, his chest rising and falling rapidly as he struggled to maintain his composure.

Through the fabric of his pants, you could clearly see the outline of Hyunjin's hardening cock. It strained against the confines of his clothing, the impressive length and girth evident even through the layers. As he palmed himself, trying to alleviate some of the building pressure, the movement only served to emphasize his arousal further. His hand moved in slow, deliberate strokes, matching the rhythm of your own ministrations.

Hyunjin's struggle to keep the camera steady was evident in the slight tremor of his hands. The vintage camera, with its bulky form and worn edges, seemed to weigh heavier in his grip as his desire grew. He shifted his stance, trying to find a balance between capturing every tantalizing detail and giving in to his own mounting pleasure. The soft whir of the camera's mechanics provided a constant backdrop to the erotic scene unfolding before its lens, preserving every moan, every touch, every heated glance for posterity.

Your back arched off the bed, a sinuous curve that highlighted the sensual lines of your body, as you slowly slid two fingers inside yourself. The initial penetration drew a breathy, trembling moan from your lips, the sound echoing in the quiet room. The sensation of your own fingers exploring your wet heat was electric, sending shivers cascading down your spine like a waterfall of pleasure. You could feel every ridge, every fold of your inner walls as they clenched eagerly around your digits, desperate for more stimulation.

As you began to move your fingers, curling them slightly to brush against that sensitive spot inside you, your body responded with a symphony of micro-expressions. Your toes curled, pressing into the sheets, while your free hand fisted in the bedding, knuckles turning white with the intensity of your grip. Your breath came in short, sharp gasps, punctuated by soft whimpers of pleasure that seemed to hang in the air.

Hyunjin's reaction to this display was visceral and immediate. His eyes, already dark with desire, seemed to darken further, his pupils dilating so wide they nearly eclipsed the warm brown of his irises. The change was subtle but profound, transforming his gaze into something primal and hungry. His grip on the camera tightened visibly, the tendons in his hands standing out in sharp relief as he struggled to keep the device steady. A soft, almost inaudible growl rumbled in his chest, a sound of pure, unadulterated want.

Unconsciously, Hyunjin's tongue darted out to wet his lips once again, leaving them glistening in the low light. The movement was slow, almost sensual, as if he was imagining tasting you instead. His gaze remained unwaveringly fixed on the movement of your hand between your legs, tracking every twist and curl of your fingers with an intensity that was almost palpable. The soft whir of the camera seemed to grow louder in the charged atmosphere, capturing every twitch, every gasp, every expression of pleasure that flitted across your face.

"That's it, baby," he growled, his voice thick with desire, a low rumble that reverberated through your bones. His eyes, dark and intense, burned into yours with an almost predatory hunger. "You look so fucking good like this. The way your fingers move, the flush on your skin... it's intoxicating." He licked his lips, his gaze never wavering from your writhing form. "Keep going, show me exactly how you like to be touched. Every little detail, every spot that makes you shiver." His words, dripping with raw, unfiltered arousal, sent a fresh wave of heat coursing through your body, igniting a fire that threatened to consume you entirely.

Hyunjin's resolve finally shattered, the tension in his body palpable as he carefully set the camera down on the nightstand. His movements were deliberate, almost reverent, as he angled it meticulously to capture the entire bed. The soft whir of the device seemed to echo in the charged atmosphere, a constant reminder that every moment of your shared passion would be immortalized. "I can't just watch anymore," he growled, his voice dropping to a gravelly whisper that sent shivers down your spine. His hands moved to his shirt buttons with an urgency that betrayed his barely contained desire, fingers trembling slightly as they worked to expose his skin.

Your eyes widened, pupils dilating with arousal as you watched him strip. Each inch of his toned body was revealed in agonizing slowness, as if he was purposely teasing you with the display. The planes of his abs flexed and rippled with each movement, the low, warm light of the room casting dramatic shadows that accentuated every curve and dip of his muscled form. A thin sheen of sweat had begun to form on his skin, making it glisten tantalizingly. You found yourself mesmerized by the way his muscles moved beneath his skin, the strength and grace of his body on full display. The sight of him, combined with the knowledge that every second was being captured on film, sent a fresh surge of arousal flooding through you, making your core clench with anticipation.

He swiftly discarded his remaining clothing, his erection springing free with an audible slap against his toned abdomen. Your eyes widened, pupils dilating at the sight of his impressive length. It stood proudly erect, the shaft thick and veined, the head swollen and glistening with a bead of pre-cum that caught the dim light. Your mouth watered involuntarily, your tongue darting out to wet your suddenly dry lips. Your fingers, still buried between your legs, increased their pace, matching your rising anticipation.

Hyunjin's approach was predatory, his movements fluid and calculated as he crawled onto the bed. His muscles rippled under his skin with each motion, the low light casting shadows that accentuated every curve and dip of his physique. His eyes, now almost black with lust, were fixed unwaveringly on your writhing form. The intensity of his gaze made you feel like prey, pinned and exposed under his scrutiny. "Keep touching yourself," he commanded, his voice a deep, husky growl that sent shivers racing down your spine. The authoritative tone brooked no argument as he positioned himself between your legs, his hot breath fanning across your sensitive skin.

Your breath caught in your throat as you felt the warmth of his exhalation against your inner thigh, a stark contrast to the cool air of the room that raised goosebumps across your flesh. He placed a soft, almost reverent kiss on the sensitive skin there, his lips warm and slightly chapped from his heavy breathing. Then another kiss, slightly higher, and another, slowly working his way up your thigh with agonizing precision. Each press of his lips sent jolts of pleasure shooting through your body, making your skin tingle and your muscles twitch with anticipation. The teasing pace was maddening, each kiss bringing him tantalizingly closer to where you needed him most.

"You taste so fucking good," he murmured, his voice muffled against your skin but still loud enough for the camera to pick up. The vibration of his words against your sensitive flesh sent a fresh wave of arousal coursing through you. Without warning, his tongue darted out, licking a long, slow stripe up your slit. The sudden wet heat of it made you gasp audibly, your back arching off the bed. The sensation was electric, sending shockwaves of pleasure radiating outward from your core. A loud, unrestrained moan tore from your throat, the sound echoing in the room and undoubtedly captured by the camera's microphone. Your hips bucked involuntarily against his face, seeking more of that delicious friction, desperate for him to continue his ministrations.

"I can't wait to watch you later," he mumbled against your inner thigh, his breath hot and moist against your sensitive skin. The warmth of his exhalation sent shivers racing up your spine, making your muscles twitch with anticipation. "How fucking perfect and sweet my girl is." His lips brushed against your flesh as he spoke, the slight friction igniting sparks of pleasure that radiated outward. The vibration of his deep voice against your skin added another layer of sensation, making you gasp softly. His words, dripping with raw desire, sent a fresh wave of arousal coursing through your body, making your core clench with need.

Hyunjin's tongue worked magic on your sensitive flesh, his skilled mouth drawing out breathy moans and whimpers from your lips. He alternated between broad, flat strokes that covered your entire slit, the wet heat of his tongue sliding from your entrance to your clit in one fluid motion, and focused flicks against your swollen bundle of nerves. Each pass of his tongue sent jolts of electricity through your body, making your toes curl and your back arch off the bed. Your fingers tangled in his hair, pulling him closer as the pleasure built within you, threatening to overflow. You could feel the silky strands of his hair between your fingers, the texture a stark contrast to the slick heat of his mouth against you. Your grip tightened involuntarily with each wave of ecstasy that washed over you, causing Hyunjin to moan against your core, the vibrations adding yet another layer to the overwhelming sensations.

The camera continued to whir softly in the background, its presence a constant reminder that every intimate moment of your shared ecstasy was being immortalized on film. The knowledge that your most private expressions of pleasure were being captured, every moan, every twitch, every flush of your skin, only served to heighten your arousal further. The soft mechanical sound seemed to blend with your heavy breathing and Hyunjin's hungry groans, creating a symphony of desire that filled the room. You could almost feel the lens of the camera on your skin, its gaze as palpable and electrifying as Hyunjin's touch, preserving this moment of intense passion for eternity.

"Fuck, baby," Hyunjin growled, his tongue delving deeper into your folds. The warmth of his breath against your sensitive skin sent electric shivers cascading up your spine, making your toes curl with pleasure. His skilled tongue traced intricate patterns, alternating between broad, flat strokes that covered your entire slit and focused, rapid flicks against your swollen clit. Each pass of his tongue sent jolts of ecstasy through your body, making your back arch off the bed. "I want to make you scream,” he murmured, the vibration of his words against your core adding another layer of sensation that had you gasping.

You bucked your hips against his face, desperate for more friction. Your fingers tangled in his silky hair, pulling him closer, feeling the soft strands slip between your fingers. The gentle tug elicited a deep moan from Hyunjin, the sound reverberating through your core. The soft whir of the camera in the background only heightened your arousal, reminding you that every moan, every twitch, every expression of pleasure was being immortalized on film. "Please, Hyunjin," you begged, your voice breathy and high-pitched with need, cracking slightly as another wave of pleasure washed over you. "I need you inside me. Now." Your words hung in the air, heavy with desperation and desire.

Hyunjin smirked, his lips glistening with your arousal as he rose up to position himself at your entrance. His eyes, dark with desire, locked onto yours, pupils dilated so wide they nearly eclipsed the warm brown of his irises. The intensity of his gaze made you feel like prey, pinned and exposed under his scrutiny. "You want my cock, baby?" he asked, his voice low and husky, dripping with raw, unfiltered arousal. He teased your entrance with the tip of his length, the swollen head sliding tantalizingly along your slick folds, making you whimper with need. Your hips jerked involuntarily, seeking more contact, more friction, more of him. "Tell me how badly you want it," he commanded, his voice dropping to a gravelly whisper that sent shivers down your spine. "Show me, just how much you crave my cock."

"I want it so fucking bad," you moaned, your voice thick with desire. Your legs spread wider, thighs trembling with anticipation. Your fingers clutched desperately at the sheets, knuckles turning white as you gripped tighter. The cool fabric against your heated skin sent shivers down your spine. "Please, fuck me hard," you begged, your eyes locked on Hyunjin's, pupils dilated with lust. "I need to feel every inch of you.”

Without warning, Hyunjin pushed into you, burying himself to the hilt in one swift, powerful motion. The sudden fullness made you cry out in ecstasy, your back arching off the bed. Your nails raked down his back, leaving angry red trails across his smooth skin. The sharp sting only seemed to spur him on. "That's it, baby," he grunted, his voice low and husky in your ear. He set a punishing pace, each thrust driving deeper than the last. The bed creaked rhythmically beneath you, the headboard thumping against the wall with each powerful movement. "Take it.. so good.. fuck yes," he growled, his words sending a fresh wave of arousal through you. "Show the camera how well you can take it, how perfectly you were made for me."

The room filled with a symphony of passion - the lewd sound of skin slapping against skin, the wet squelch of your arousal, your high-pitched moans mingling with Hyunjin's deep, guttural grunts. The camera continued to record faithfully, its lens capturing every thrust, every expression of ecstasy on your faces. You could almost feel its gaze on your skin, heightening your awareness of every touch, every sensation. The knowledge that your most intimate moments were being immortalized on film sent a thrill of excitement through you, fueling your arousal to new heights. Your eyes fluttered closed as pleasure overwhelmed you, but Hyunjin's voice brought you back. "Open your eyes, baby," he commanded breathlessly. "Let the camera see how good I make you feel, how beautifully you come undone for me."

"You're so fucking tight," Hyunjin groaned, his hips snapping against yours with increasing intensity. Sweat glistened on his brow, trickling down his temple and along the sharp line of his jaw. His muscles rippled and flexed with each powerful movement, the low light accentuating every curve and dip of his toned physique. "Squeeze my cock, baby," he commanded, his voice rough with desire. "Show me how much you love it.”

You clenched around him, your inner walls gripping his length tightly. The sensation of your silken heat constricting around him drew out a deep, guttural moan from his lips. The sound reverberated through your body, sending shivers down your spine. "That's it," he praised, his hand snaking between your bodies. His fingers found your clit, rubbing tight, precise circles that made your vision blur at the edges. The dual stimulation of his relentless thrusts and the expert manipulation of your sensitive bundle of nerves made your toes curl, your back arching off the bed as pleasure built rapidly in your core. "I want you to cum all over my cock," Hyunjin growled, his eyes dark with lust as they bore into yours.

Hyunjin slipped his fingers into your mouth, his eyes dark with desire. The intensity of his gaze sent a shiver down your spine, his pupils dilated so wide they nearly eclipsed the warm brown of his irises. "Suck," he commanded, his voice husky and demanding, the single word dripping with raw, unfiltered lust. You eagerly complied, your tongue swirling around his digits with practiced precision. The taste of your own arousal mingled with the salt of his skin, creating an intoxicating flavor that made your head spin. Your taste buds exploded with the tangy sweetness of your juices combined with the slightly bitter, musky flavor of his skin.

The camera captured every detail as you hollowed your cheeks, sucking his fingers deeper into the warm cavern of your mouth. Your lips wrapped tightly around his digits, the soft pink flesh a stark contrast against his tanned skin. A thin string of saliva connected your bottom lip to his hand as you pulled back slightly, only to take his fingers deeper again. Your eyes never left his, the intensity of your shared gaze adding another layer to your building pleasure. You could see the fire burning in his eyes, the raw desire that threatened to consume you both.

"Good girl," Hyunjin groaned, his hips never slowing their relentless pace. His voice was thick with desire, the words coming out as a gravelly growl that sent shivers cascading down your spine. You could feel the vibrations of his voice in his chest, pressed flush against yours. "Show the camera how well you can use that pretty mouth." The words hung in the air, heavy with anticipation, each syllable dripping with promise and barely contained lust.

With a mischievous glint in his eyes, Hyunjin reached over to grab the camera, his movements fluid and purposeful. The muscles in his arm flexed as he stretched, the low light accentuating every curve and dip of his toned physique. He never broke his rhythm, his body moving in perfect sync with yours, the steady slap of skin on skin providing a primal backdrop to the scene. "I want to capture every detail of your beautiful face," he panted, bringing the lens close to your flushed features. His breath came in short, sharp bursts, warm against your skin. The cool metal of the camera contrasted sharply with the heat radiating from your skin, the sudden temperature change making you gasp around his fingers. The lens of the camera glinted in the dim light, its unblinking eye drinking in every detail of your pleasure-contorted face.

The camera whirred softly as Hyunjin angled it to capture your parted lips and lust-filled eyes. The mechanical sound, a gentle hum in the background, seemed to heighten your senses exponentially. Every nerve ending in your body became hypersensitive, acutely aware of the slightest touch or movement. The cool metal of the camera contrasted sharply with the heat radiating from your flushed skin, sending a shiver down your spine.

"Look at the camera, baby," Hyunjin commanded, his voice husky and thick with desire. The low, gravelly tone of his words vibrated through your body, igniting a fire deep within your core. His breath, hot and heavy, ghosted over your ear as he spoke, causing goosebumps to erupt across your skin. The intimacy of the moment, combined with the thrill of being recorded, sent a jolt of electricity through your body, making your toes curl and your back arch slightly off the bed.

You moaned loudly, the sound echoing in the room as your eyes locked with the lens. Hyunjin continued to thrust deep inside you, each movement sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. The camera's unblinking eye seemed to drink in every detail - the flush spreading across your cheeks, the way your lips parted with each gasp, the sheen of sweat glistening on your skin. Knowing that every expression of ecstasy was being immortalized on film sent a new surge of arousal through you, intensifying every sensation tenfold.

"Yeah..," Hyunjin groaned, his free hand tangling in your hair. His fingers wove through the strands, gently tugging at your scalp. The slight pain mixed with pleasure, sending sparks cascading down your spine and pooling in your lower abdomen. "You're so fucking beautiful when you're taking my cock." His words, raw and unfiltered, dripped with lust and admiration. The praise washed over you, further stoking the flames of your desire. You could feel the vibration of his voice in his chest, pressed flush against yours, adding another layer to the overwhelming sensations flooding your body.

The camera lens captured every detail of your ecstasy-filled expression as Hyunjin continued his relentless pace. Your eyes fluttered shut, overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment, the pleasure threatening to consume you entirely. But Hyunjin's voice brought you back, anchoring you to reality. "Open those beautiful eyes for me, baby," he commanded, his voice strained with pleasure. You could hear the tension in his words, feel it in the way his body moved against yours. "I want to see you cum.” His request was both thrilling and intimidating, pushing you closer to the edge of ecstasy.

Your body tensed as you felt the familiar pressure building inside you. Hyunjin's thrusts became more erratic, his breathing ragged. The sound of skin against skin echoed in the room, mixing with the soft whir of the camera. Sweat glistened on your bodies, catching the dim light. "I'm close, baby," he groaned, his voice husky with desire. His eyes locked onto yours through the camera lens, dark and intense. "Cum with me. Let go."

With a cry of unbridled ecstasy, you felt yourself tipping over the edge of oblivion. Your back arched sharply off the bed, the curve of your spine almost painful in its intensity. Your fingers dug desperately into Hyunjin's shoulders, leaving crescent-shaped marks on his smooth skin. Your walls clenched rhythmically around Hyunjin's cock, the pulsating pressure so intense it bordered on overwhelming. Each contraction sent shockwaves of pleasure cascading through your body, from your curling toes to the roots of your hair.

Suddenly, an intense rush of warmth flooded between your legs. The sensation was unlike anything you'd experienced before - a powerful, uncontrollable release that left you gasping for air. You squirted forcefully, your juices coating Hyunjin's thighs and soaking the sheets beneath you. The warm liquid gushed out in pulsating waves, each one coinciding with a new crest of pleasure. The air filled with the heady scent of your arousal, musky and intoxicating.

The sensation was utterly overwhelming, short-circuiting your senses. Your toes curled so tightly you could feel the strain in your calves. Your vision blurred at the edges, the room seeming to spin around you. Bright spots danced behind your eyelids as you squeezed them shut, your mouth open in a silent scream of ecstasy. Every nerve ending in your body seemed to fire at once, leaving you trembling and oversensitive. The intensity of your orgasm left you breathless, your chest heaving as you struggled to draw air into your lungs.

Hyunjin's eyes widened in surprise and arousal, his pupils dilating so much that only a thin ring of brown remained visible. "Fuck, baby," he moaned, his voice breaking with pleasure, the words coming out as a guttural, primal sound. His hips stuttered, losing their rhythm as he reached his own climax, his movements becoming erratic and desperate. He buried himself deep inside you, his cock pulsing forcefully as he came hard. You could feel the warmth of his release filling you, each powerful spurt intensifying your own pleasure. The sensation of his hot seed coating your inner walls sent shockwaves of ecstasy through your body, prolonging your orgasm. All the while, he managed to keep the camera steady on your face with trembling hands, his biceps flexing with the effort as he captured every moment of your shared ecstasy.

The camera faithfully recorded every minute detail of your shared orgasm - your flushed cheeks, a rosy tint spreading down to your chest and blooming across your collarbones. Your lips parted in a silent scream of pleasure, glistening with saliva from your earlier activities. Your eyes, half-lidded and hazy with bliss, remained locked with Hyunjin's through the lens, conveying a depth of emotion that words could never express. Tiny beads of sweat glistened on your skin, catching the low light and giving you an ethereal glow. Hyunjin's deep groans of pleasure mixed with your breathless moans and whimpers, creating a symphony of ecstasy that echoed off the walls. The air was thick with the heady scent of sex and sweat, a potent cocktail of pheromones adding to the sensory overload of the moment. The vintage camera whirred softly, its mechanical sound a stark contrast to the organic, passionate sounds filling the room, as it diligently immortalized this intimate, passionate encounter between you and Hyunjin.

As Hyunjin slowly withdrew, his eyes smoldering with renewed desire, he gracefully moved up your body. His cock, still semi-erect, glistened tantalizingly with your combined fluids. The dim, warm light of the room caught on the slick sheen, accentuating every prominent vein and ridge along his length. His well-defined muscles rippled smoothly under his tanned skin as he positioned himself over you, the vintage camera faithfully capturing every sensual movement.

"Taste yourself on me, baby," he commanded, his voice a deep, husky whisper that sent electric shivers cascading down your spine. The raw desire in his tone made your core clench with anticipation. "Show the camera how much you love it." His hot breath fanned across your flushed skin, carrying the intoxicating scent of sex and sweat that hung heavy in the air between you.

You eagerly complied, your tongue darting out to trace a slow, deliberate path along the underside of his shaft. The complex flavor of your combined essences exploded on your taste buds - a heady mixture of salt, musk, and a hint of sweetness that was uniquely you. The taste was so intense it drew a soft, breathy moan from your lips. The camera whirred softly in the background, its mechanical eye fixed on the scene as your lips wrapped around the swollen head of his cock. Your cheeks hollowed as you savored the tangy sweetness of your own juices mingled with his, your tongue swirling expertly around the sensitive tip. Your eyes fluttered closed for a moment, lost in the sensations - the weight of him on your tongue, the familiar stretch of your lips, the musky scent filling your nostrils. When you opened them again, you were met with Hyunjin's intense gaze, dark with lust and admiration, as he watched you through the camera's lens.

“Fuck," Hyunjin groaned, his hand tangling in your hair. His fingers tightened, sending electric sparks of pleasure-pain cascading across your scalp. You could feel the powerful trembling in his muscular thighs as he fought to maintain control, his body quivering with the effort of letting you set the pace. The veins in his neck stood out prominently as he strained, his jaw clenched tight. "Take it all in your pretty mouth, baby. Show the camera how well you can please me." His voice was low and husky, dripping with desire. The camera lens caught a glint of light, its unblinking eye capturing every intimate detail of your passionate encounter.

As you continued your ministrations, Hyunjin's reactions intensified palpably. His breathing became more ragged and uneven, punctuated by soft, breathy gasps and deep, guttural moans that reverberated through his chest. The camera faithfully recorded the subtle changes in his expression - the slight furrow of his brow as pleasure built within him, the way his full lips parted in ecstasy, revealing the perfect white teeth behind them. A bead of sweat rolled down his cheek, catching the dim light and giving his skin a tantalizing sheen.

"You're absolutely incredible," he breathed, his voice thick with emotion and raw desire. The words came out barely above a whisper, as if he was afraid speaking too loudly would break the spell of the moment. He was overly sensitive but you knew he liked being overstimulated, Hyunjins hips stuttered and jerked uncontrollably. His fingers, which had been gripping your hair tightly, now loosened, gently caressing your scalp in a tender gesture that contrasted beautifully with the passion of the moment. The touch was feather-light, almost reverent, as his fingertips traced delicate patterns against your skin. His eyes, dark with lust but soft with adoration, never left yours, the intensity of his gaze making your heart race even faster.

You gazed up, your eyes meeting Hyunjin's through the camera lens. The connection between you was electric, a tangible current that transcended the physical act. His eyes, dark and intense, were filled with a potent mixture of love, admiration, and unbridled desire. The depth of your relationship was reflected in that gaze, speaking volumes without a single word uttered.

The room was enveloped in a cocoon of intimate silence, broken only by the soft, wet sounds of your ministrations and the gentle, rhythmic whir of the camera. The air was thick and warm, heavy with the intoxicating scent of your shared passion - a heady mixture of sweat, musk, and arousal. Every touch, every movement felt electric, charged with an intensity that made your skin tingle and your heart race.

With renewed determination, you redoubled your efforts. Your tongue moved with expert precision, swirling around Hyunjin's length in intricate patterns. You traced every prominent vein, every ridge, memorizing the texture and taste of him. Your cheeks hollowed as you created a tight suction, the sudden increase in pressure making Hyunjin gasp and his hips buck involuntarily. Slowly, deliberately, you took him deeper, feeling him hit the back of your throat. You suppressed your gag reflex, your eyes watering slightly as you pushed past your limits. The fullness in your mouth, the weight on your tongue, the slight strain in your jaw - all of it combined into a heady cocktail of sensation that had you moaning around his length.

Your hands weren't idle. They roamed over his muscular thighs, feeling the tension coiling beneath your fingertips. You could sense the minute tremors in his muscles, the way they flexed and relaxed with each calculated movement of your mouth. Your nails, perfectly manicured, grazed lightly along his inner thighs, leaving faint red trails in their wake. The sensation elicited a full-body shudder from Hyunjin, his skin erupting in goosebumps under your touch.

Your fingers danced upwards, tracing the sharp V of his hips, feeling the definition of each muscle. They ghosted over his abs, feeling them contract and relax with each ragged breath. You could feel the heat radiating from his skin, the thin sheen of sweat making him glisten in the dim light.

Hyunjin's breathing became increasingly labored, his broad chest heaving with each gasping inhale. His moans grew in volume and intensity, transforming from soft, breathy sighs to deep, guttural groans that reverberated through the room. The sounds echoed off the walls, creating a symphony of pleasure that spurred you on, each noise a testament to your skill and dedication. You could taste the familiar salty sweetness of his pre-cum on your tongue, the flavor intensifying with each passing moment, a clear sign of his impending release.

As you worked him towards his second climax, your movements became more purposeful, more intense. Your tongue swirled around his length, tracing every vein and ridge with meticulous attention. You hollowed your cheeks, creating a tight suction that had Hyunjin's hips bucking involuntarily. Your hands moved to his hips, steadying him, your fingers digging into the firm flesh there.

You chanced a glance upwards through your lashes, and the sight that greeted you was nothing short of intoxicating. Hyunjin's head was thrown back, the long column of his throat exposed. His Adam's apple bobbed prominently as he swallowed hard, his jaw clenched tight. His plush lips were parted in a silent cry of ecstasy, occasionally forming soundless words - your name, perhaps, or breathless pleas for more. A light sheen of sweat covered his skin, making him glow in the soft light of the room. His brows were furrowed in concentration, his eyes squeezed shut as he lost himself in the sensations you were providing.

The camera, still whirring softly in the background, captured every minute detail of his pleasure-contorted face. It immortalized the way his chest heaved with each labored breath, the flex of his abs as he fought to maintain control, the trembling in his thighs as he neared his peak. Every twitch, every gasp, every subtle change in his expression was forever preserved, a testament to this moment of pure, unadulterated bliss.

"Fuck, baby," Hyunjin groaned, his free hand tangling in your hair, fingers twisting gently but firmly against your scalp. His voice was low and raspy, thick with desire. "I'm close. Don't stop." The desperation in his tone was palpable, sending shivers down your spine.

The camera continued to whir softly, its mechanical eye capturing every detail of your passionate exchange. Your lips moved up and down his shaft with increased fervor, your cheeks hollowing as you intensified the suction. The warmth of your mouth enveloped him completely, your tongue tracing intricate patterns along his length. Hyunjin's hips began to buck erratically, his grip on your hair tightening. His thighs trembled with the effort of holding back, muscles taut beneath your palms.

With a final, guttural moan that seemed to come from deep within his chest, Hyunjin reached his peak. His cock pulsed rhythmically in your mouth as he came, spilling his seed onto your waiting tongue. The taste was familiar yet intoxicating - salty, slightly bitter, uniquely him. You eagerly swallowed every drop, your throat working to take it all in. All the while, your eyes remained locked with his through the camera lens, the intensity of your shared gaze adding another layer of intimacy to the moment.

As Hyunjin's orgasm subsided, you gave his softening length one final, gentle lick, savoring the last traces of his essence. Your tongue swirled delicately around the sensitive head, eliciting a soft shudder from him. The oversensitivity made his breath hitch, a small gasp escaping his parted lips. The camera faithfully captured the look of pure satisfaction on both your faces, a testament to the intense passion you shared. Hyunjin's eyes were half-lidded, pupils still dilated, a mix of adoration and lingering desire evident in his gaze. A light sheen of sweat glistened on his skin, making him appear almost ethereal in the dim light of the room.

Hyunjin lowered the camera, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath. Beads of sweat glistened on his forehead, catching the dim light of the room. The muscles in his arms quivered slightly from the exertion of holding the camera steady for so long. His eyes, dark and intense, were fixed on you with a mixture of adoration and lingering desire.

"That was... absolutely incredible," he panted, a lazy smile spreading across his face. His voice was still husky, a reminder of the passionate sounds he had made just moments ago. His fingers trembled slightly as he brushed a stray lock of hair from your cheek, the touch sending a shiver down your spine. "I can't wait to watch this later. The way you look when you're lost in pleasure... it's breathtaking. The way your eyes flutter closed, the soft moans that escape your lips, the flush that spreads across your skin... it's like a work of art."

You glanced at Hyunjin, a soft smile playing on your lips. Your skin still tingled from his touch, every nerve ending hypersensitive in the aftermath of your passionate encounter. You could feel the pleasant ache in your muscles, a delicious reminder of the intensity you had just shared. The air around you was thick with the scent of sex and sweat, creating an intimate cocoon that separated you from the outside world.

"Baby, can you put the camera away now?" you asked, your voice gentle but pleading. Your fingers traced lazy patterns on his chest, feeling the rapid beating of his heart beneath your palm. You marveled at the smoothness of his skin, the definition of his muscles, the way his body responded to even your lightest touch.

Hyunjin's eyes softened at your request, understanding the intimacy you craved. He carefully set the camera aside on the nightstand, his fingers lingering on the device for a moment before withdrawing. The soft click of the camera being set down echoed in the room, a subtle yet distinct sound that marked the transition from raw passion to tender affection. As he turned back to you, the dim light caught the contours of his face, highlighting the gentle curve of his cheekbones and the fullness of his lips. You opened your arms invitingly, your body yearning for his warmth, the sheets rustling softly beneath you as you shifted to create a perfect space for him.

"Come here," you begged softly, your voice barely above a whisper. Your eyes, still hazy with lingering desire, met his, conveying a depth of emotion that words alone couldn't express. The sheets whispered against your skin as you moved, the cool fabric a stark contrast to the warmth radiating from your body. Your fingers reached out, ghosting over his skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.

Without hesitation, Hyunjin moved towards you, his movements fluid and graceful. He gathered you in his arms, his skin warm and slightly damp against yours, a comforting contrast to the cool air of the room. The mattress dipped beneath his weight as he settled beside you, your bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces. He pressed a tender kiss to your forehead, his lips lingering there as if trying to convey all his emotions through that simple gesture. You could feel the softness of his lips, the gentle puff of his breath against your skin, sending a shiver down your spine.

You snuggled deeper into his warm embrace, intertwining your legs with his and pressing your body flush against his. The steady rhythm of his heartbeat reverberated through your chest, a soothing cadence that matched the gentle rise and fall of his chest. His arms tightened around you, one hand tracing lazy patterns on your back while the other cradled your head, fingers tangling in your hair. The scent of his skin - a mix of his natural musk and the faint traces of cologne - enveloped you, familiar and comforting.

As you lay there, basking in the afterglow of your passionate encounter, the world outside your intimate bubble faded away into insignificance. The soft sound of your synchronized breathing filled the room, punctuated occasionally by the rustle of sheets as one of you shifted slightly. The warmth of your bodies mingled, creating a cocoon of comfort and contentment. In this moment, wrapped in each other's arms, nothing else mattered - just the two of you, your love, and the intimacy you shared.

Tags: @rylea08 @syedazarintasnim @cashtonsbetch @pasaatimonarkin @tzeweiii05 @sincerely-sun @moonchild9350 @athforskz @babigriin @seunmong-in @cookiesandcreammy @rockstarkkami @bangchans-angel @salemluvsmusic @seungmincenteric @kpflyn @iovecb97 @juskz @sadrosessing @fawnpeaks @galaxy4489 @chuuyaobsessed @tirena1 @tsunderelino @kissesmellow21 @whatdoyouwanttocallmefor @nightmarenyxx @simpforleeknaur @ririwhiskers @satosugu4l @mihoonz @redlightsrachaaa @mintymintmint251 @velvetmoonlght @minniesverse @everythingboutkpop @yaorzu-blog

695 notes · View notes

chimivx · 5 months ago

Text

TASTE. -> 'Haven' from the POV of Hyunjin. (Part Four of Six)

summary: All of the truth comes out. Hyunjin makes sure of it.

word count: 9k

warnings: 18+, infidelity themes all throughout, toxic friendships/relationships, sexual content, alcohol abuse, struggles with mental health themes, cursing, if I missed anything PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

a/n: This is long overdue. <3

I had barely eaten anything in two days.

My stomach, empty, full of a sickness I couldn’t shake, sunk any time Jade came near me or opened her mouth. Felix lived in the back of my mind until this Sunday morning, where Jade caught me in the kitchen trying to force down a cup of black coffee. Thursday night had turned out to be a night I would never forget. The first time Felix kissed me, the first time someone genuinely seemed to care about the loss of my mother, the first time anyone could actually see me.

It had been the best night that I’ve had in a long time. The type of night where I didn’t feel the need to drown myself in whatever liquor they had behind the bar at Haven.

As Jade approached me quietly in a pair of grey sweatpants with her damp hair that she was drying with a towel hanging at her shoulders, I felt that need. The sight of her knowing lips scrunched sideways on her face tried to persuade me to dive into the cabinet by my knees, grabbing a bottle or two by the neck, and downing them to numb myself from whatever she was about to say.

Post-shower, she was glowing. No makeup on, sweats, hair disheveled and stringy from the water… She was always gorgeous, and she forever will be. No matter what.

Since our conversation, if one would call it that, in the garage on Thursday, the two of us had barely spoken. She worked both Friday and Saturday, while I hung around the apartment, wallowing in my nerves and the occasional shot of liquor to get rid of the thoughts.

We were better apart, and I wondered if these two days had proved that to her as well, because whenever she came back home we were walking on eggshells. Afraid to speak, afraid to say anything that would trigger another barking match.

With her propping herself against the counter across from me, I was unsure of anything that was about to ensue.

Jade, who had looked at me twice, tossed the towel on top of a counter and folded her hands in front of her. I trained my eyes to stay on the steamy coffee in my mug, counting the tiny little bubbles that lived along the edges of the ceramic.

The air was tight, and getting tighter, but I wasn’t sure if that was just me. My nervous system was beginning to strangle me from the inside out, my joints tightening the longer she stood in front of me without saying a word.

Flickering my eyes up to hers, I watched with bated breath as she parted her lips, her voice coming out soft, and gentle, and genuine.

“Can we talk about what happened between us on Thursday, I just-”

“Felix kissed me.”

The words slipped out of me in a whisper. A whisper that didn’t have much effect over her being. Maintaining her tedious expression, she only gave her head a small nod, lips still parted from where her almost question was cut off. She didn’t move much else.

“I kissed Felix.” I added, knowing that it wasn’t just the blonde Aussie’s fault. “We kissed. At Haven.”

She didn’t move.

In the past when I had told her about the other girls, had told her word for word everything we had done, what I had said to them, what they had said to me, where it happened, every detail- her eyebrows would squish together, and her lips would pout. The color in her face would drain, she’d appear sick to her stomach. Her energy would withdraw completely, and she’d close up within herself.

This time, she didn’t move.

She knew.

“I heard,” she said.

“From who?” I whispered, my voice growing shakier by the second.

Jade pulled her lips into a line. “Minho.”

Right, the witness. I knew that.

When had they spoken about it? Did they talk right after it had happened? Did Jade show up to Haven to see him after her shift at work? She didn’t get home until pretty late that night. Did Minho go to the restaurant instead? A place where they’d be safe from all prying eyes. I know they both had gotten off pretty late, maybe they had gone to his place, and he had told her there, and maybe they had…

Jade’s hands were on my shoulders after they had taken the mug from me and put it on the counter top. Her sweet face was a blur to me as tears pooled in my eyes and a sob lodged in my throat. I couldn’t make out anything she was saying to me, all I could hear was the pounding of my heart in my ears and the release of my quick breaths that I sucked in even faster.

I wasn’t sure when she got me to sit down in one of the chairs at our table, but she did. Sitting on my lap she took my face in her hands and kissed the tip of my nose gently, dragging her thumbs over the apples of my cheeks while she waited for me to calm down. She didn’t say much, not that I could hear. She just waited. She watched.

“Jade,” I gasped, blinking through the tears. Raising my hands I tried to reach for hers, and she took them in an instant. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”

“Shhh, stop,” she mumbled. “Take a breath, then talk to me.”

Air filled my lungs only halfway. It hurt to take it any further. “Jade… I don’t know… I don’t know why I do this.”

She frowned. “Do what, Jinnie?”

A gasp ran through me before I muttered, “Hurt you. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I am the way I am, I put you through hell, day after day, you don’t deserve any of it, Jade, you don’t deserve it.” She wiped tears from my cheek and shook her head.

“It’s okay,” she whispered. “I love you, Jinnie, I do. I want you to get better, I want to help you. Let me help you.” She kissed the tip of my nose again before they pressed to my forehead.

Even with her in front of me, on my lap, comforting me through the panic, I still wished it were him.

“I don’t think you can,” I said, hushed and shaky, meeting her disappointed gaze. “I really, really wish you could. But, I don’t… I don’t think you can, Jade.”

“So, what, Felix is gonna do that?” The name sent a shock through my heart. Her tone switched into something not angry, but entirely mad.

“God, Felix, no, I’m not- I won’t use him for that,” I groaned. “I-”

“Use him?”

“You know what I mean!” It was my turn to raise my voice. Just when I thought this was going to go well.

“Okay, okay,” Jade soothed to my surprise, giving my hands a squeeze. Maybe this will finish smoothly. Her eyes were still swimming with hope, looking at me like I was her everything. It hurt.

“I just, I feel so confused,” I whispered. Lowering her brows, she questioned me with a tilt of her head. “How are you still here?”

Now her eyes were wild. “What the fuck do you mean?”

“Minho, Jade.” My tone turned vile. “I’m talking about Minho.”

She gulped. I watched her physically react to his name, much like I reacted to Felix’s. “What… What about him?”

Licking my lips, I shook my head as more tears welled up in my eyes. “I think you like him,” I forced out of my mouth for the first time.

“Jinnie,” she sighed, exasperated. She let go of my hands and cupped my cheeks once more, touching the tip of her nose to mine. “I like you, I love you.” Her eyes fluttered shut. “Minho is a friend, that’s it. I don’t like him, I don’t want him. He is just a friend.” She backed away and looked down at me with an unconvincing smile. “I’m sorry if I did anything to make you question my loyalty. He’s a friend, that’s it. I love you. I love you so much.”

Her words went in one ear and out the other. The more she added on, the more sap she piled on top almost made me wish she had just admitted it.

Thinning my lips into a line, I shook my head. “Why are you still with me?”

She hesitated. “Because I love you.”

“There’s gotta be more, that’s not enough,” I choked. “I don’t… I don’t believe you.”

“Do you remember the first time we met?” Jade asked, narrowing her eyes. I nodded. I remember it all, I could recite it word for word. It was about a month before I met Felix. “I walked into Haven with Chan, thinking I would drink myself silly, or find a meaningless hook up. Instead I found you.” She paused for a second to take in my expression that didn’t change.

“Yeah,” I muttered, giving her very little to go off of.

One of her hands ran through my hair, twisting the ends around a finger. “You seemed so cool, so funny. We were laughing, even Chan was having fun. We fed off of each other, our energy… I was hooked from day one, Jinnie.” She sighed, then gave the skin of my cheek a squeeze. “Plus, who can resist this face.”

Not many, I wanted to say, but I kept it to myself. I’m not even sure she realized what she was saying.

“You’re so beautiful, Jinnie,” she whispered. “It drives me crazy.” Typical.

“That’s why you’re still with me, because I’m beautiful,” I said. “That’s cute.”

Jade frowned. “Jinnie, I’m-”

“I know,” I closed my eyes. “You love me.” I listened to her take a deep breath. “Jade,” I opened my eyes and looked up at her. “I love you too, but this is actually driving me crazy. How are you not as exhausted as me?”

She opened her mouth twice to speak, but nothing came out. She simply shook her head.

“Just say it, you like him.”

She groaned. “I don’t.”

“Don’t lie to my face, I’m always honest with you, you can tell me,” I said. My eyes narrowed, studying the way she moved. “You like Minho.”

“And you like Felix,” she said.

“I do,” I nodded, and she scoffed. “Your turn, admit it.”

She jumped off of me and flipped her hair over her shoulder. “You’re unbelievable.” Lifting my hands out at my sides, I so badly wanted to crumble into pieces at her feet, but she was lying to me.

I wasn’t going to let her see me this vulnerable again, not until she admitted it.

“I’m honest,” I shouted after her as she stormed away to the bedroom.

One of her manicured hands gripped the corner of the wall as she pulled herself back to shout back at me. “You certainly aren’t loyal.”

Felix’s hands clamped to my waist, his fingers gripping my shirt as if to keep him on his feet. His big brown eyes were half closed, relaxed while his body swayed to the beat of the music pouring out of the speakers over top of us. The dance floor, crowded with bodies of humans who shot us occasional glances, had never been this packed. At least not that I’ve ever experienced.

Holding Felix up, my arms around his back, I shrugged off the glares, trying to not even give anyone else the time of day. Felix was hanging on to me, drunker than I’d ever seen him, my attention was his, I had to keep him safe, that was the priority of the night.

That, and catching Jade in a lie.

It was almost two weeks ago now that she refused to admit her true feelings. True feelings every single one of us knew that she had. After our spat in the kitchen, after I’d broken down to her and finally admitted it all, she still wouldn’t give in.

For a week, she tried to keep things normal, she’d ask me about work, ask me if I’d be around. She invited me to Haven when she’d go, and she told me her work schedule for the week. It was as normal as the last few weeks have been. As normal as we seemed to be recently. Though she came home later, and a few nights wouldn’t come home at all.

By the time the second week came around I knew it was over. It had to be over. Spending most of my time either at work or with Felix, the two of us just spending time together, I barely saw or heard from her. At some point in the middle I’d gone three whole days without seeing her. Felix was able to come around the apartment and I didn’t have to stress about her coming home to find him there.

We spent a lot of time talking the past two weeks, Felix and I. He told me more about his family, and he heard a helluva lot about Jade. Makes me wonder if that’s why he was so attached to me at the moment, not caring that everyone we knew was in the same room. Not caring that I came with Jade tonight, I drove us here. The ride was suffocating, entirely silent and awkward, Jade applying that mauve lipstick in the side mirror the moment we pulled into the lot.

Felix had come with Changbin, the two arriving after their day at work, Felix still wearing a pale blue button down and a pair of dark denim jeans. A silver chain peeked out of the collar, and now that his chest was pressed to mine it glimmered over his heart, the top three buttons of his shirt somehow coming undone in the last couple of hours.

His blonde hair was unruly, nothing like it had been when he’d gotten here, drunk Felix messed it all up. I’m not sure sober Felix would approve of drunk Felix’s doings, considering he hasn’t made another move on me since we shared a kiss some time ago and here he was gyrating his hips into mine.

There wasn’t an ounce of my being that was bothered by it, I mean, the hottest guy I’d ever met was throwing himself at me, his hands dragging all over my body, his half conscious self dancing against me like he wanted me naked, and my relationship that wasn’t even a relationship hasn’t been a relationship in weeks. She had stopped giving me anything. It was over. It had to be.

“Are you having fun?” Felix asked me, pulling me out of my thoughts. Even in his state he was able to clock me. His hands slid up my back, his chest laying flush to mine.

Nodding, I blinked and looked down at him with a small smile. “Yeah,” I said without much infliction.

A pout found his full lips, one that taunted me. “You’re a liar.”

“You’re drunk,” I said, allowing myself to laugh.

Felix laughed with me, his head falling forward onto my shoulder. “I am.” His voice was gentle among the slurs. “I’m sorry.”

Taking a hand behind his head I guided him back up by threading my fingers in his hair, catching him as his head lolled backward. We shared another laugh. “Don’t apologize.”

“But, I-”

“No,” I shook my head, dragging my fingers over his scalp.

“You haven’t had anything to drink,” he breathed, regaining his own strength, standing up on his own.

Pressing my lips together, I sighed. He was right, since I’d been here I hadn’t had anything to drink, not even something that didn’t have alcohol. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t. Tonight was about catching Jade doing something I’d be doing instead. Something I was… already doing. Alcohol would get in the way. I had to be sober to make sure what I was seeing was real.

“I don’t need a drink,” I shrugged. Part of me wanted to tell him that I also wasn’t going to drink because he was trashed. Not that that has stopped me before, friends being drunk didn’t mean I couldn’t get drunk, but that’s how it would go. I knew if I drank, I’d do it till I was plastered, and for some reason Felix was preventing it.

Batting his eyelashes he smiled. “That’s so grown up of you,” he said, leaning into me. “I thought you’d drink when you told me you were coming here.” Lowering my brows I smiled to keep him talking. “With everything happening, yanno?” I nodded. He rolled his body against mine. “You drink to avoid it all, don’t you?” If his hands didn’t slip around my front and draw up and down my chest I think his words would’ve stung more than he intended to. “I wanna make you forget everything.”

My breath hitched in my throat as one of his hands slipped lower, between my legs. “Felix,” I breathed with a slight shake of my head. “You’re drunk, hang on.”

Reaching for his wrists, he only giggled and snatched mine. He pulled my arms around his shoulders and put his around my back where they started. A smirk rested on his lips as he closed the space between us, sliding a knee between my legs, satisfied with the way it made my lips pop open and my body tense up. Grinding his hips against my thigh, he was half hard, I could feel it.

Tipping my head back, I let out a sigh. “Felix, calm down, you’re-”

“Drunk, I know,” he said, his tone suddenly somewhat harsh. Exchanging a look with him, his eyes softened. “Just dance with me.”

“Okay,” I whispered, allowing my body to fall in time with him. The grin that met his lips was priceless.

His fingers slipped into my hair, gently tugging at the length that brushed over my shoulders. I didn’t bother pulling it up tonight, most times it bothered me to have it in a tie. As his hands delved further into the strands I was thanking whichever god that I didn’t tie it back. His touch was intoxicating, crazy to think I ever needed to drink to have this type of electricity run through me.

Pushing my body into his, feeling out how this was going to go, knowing that everyone was in the room somewhere, Felix bit down on his bottom lip. It was exhilarating to watch him let go, to feel him harboring not one single care of where he was, who he was with, or where he was. Over the past two weeks, having broken the ice some more, having gotten through that ‘always happy!’ shell of his, he deserved a night like tonight.

Hanging onto me, grinding against me, brushing his nose over mine as his parted lips ghosted my own, he couldn’t give two shits who shot a disapproving glare his way. Our way. It was empowering, the energy began to affect me, my anxieties for the night dissipating even if it were only for a few minutes.

It was me and Felix.

That was it.

I finally felt like myself. A warmth began growing beneath my ribs, within me, in a place that’s normally cold, empty. It spread to my chest, my heart rate rising slightly as I smiled with Felix, my hands grasping him tighter, keeping him close.

Singing along to the music, a pop song I’d never heard before, Felix sang to me. The girl's voice was singing about love, or being in love, with somebody she didn’t have, someone she wanted to have. He was singing to me, drunk or not, the fantasy he and the girl sang about was me. And he was mine.

“Mariah Carey,” Felix blurted out, grabbing handfuls of my face, squeezing the fat of my cheeks. “I know one woman.”

Laughing, I nudged his nose with mine and shook my head. “Proud of you.” I smiled.

“When I close my eyes, you come and you take me…” Felix ran his hands down my chest, pressing a finger over my heart. Dropping his head backward, he bounced on his knees and laughed as I scrambled to catch him, thinking he was falling. “Sweet, sweet fantasy baby…” He spun around in my arms being sure to bump his ass into my hips before he came all the way around. When he met my eyes with a devilish little grin, he couldn’t help but laugh at the way I sarcastically scowled.

“Felix.” Tone a bit sharp, I gave him a look and he collapsed head first into my chest.

“I know, I know, I know,” he rambled. “I can’t help it, I’m sorry.” His accent truly was sweet music to my ears. There wasn’t any way I could actually be upset with him. “You’re the first one I actually believe.”

My heart sank to my knees. Folding my arms over his back, keeping him rocking side to side to a new song, I placed my chin over his blonde hair and took a deep breath.

You’re the first one I actually believe.

Open about who he was, Felix didn’t give two shits if anyone knew he was gay. He’s been out since he was fifteen, it’s been years of growing thick skin and learning to be unbothered by people like Minho and Han. It’d just be entirely different if it had been his choice to be out since he was fifteen. Some of the things I’d learnt the last fourteen days.

Felix attended an all boys school when he was young, when he started high school. Growing up he knew he wasn’t like everyone else, he wasn’t like his father, he wasn’t like the other men in his family, nor did he feel like his friends when they’d talk about girls that they liked. He played pretend, he said he liked girls, he had a girlfriend he’d only shared some kisses with, but he’d never be able to do anything else because, well, his body didn’t want to.

It happened his sophomore year. Confiding in his closest friend, his best friend, he asked for help. A summer night, like one that lived within Felix’s heart, he and his best friend attempted to figure out what was wrong, what stopped him from experiencing what his friends were experiencing. In his bedroom all night long, they talked about it, they watched the tapes, looked at the magazines, and he was bored. His friend clocked it first, when Pamela Anderson was on the receiving end of a cringe. He pressed his lips to Felix’s neck, and it was game over.

They spent that night, and many nights together. Hiding any feelings they may have had for one another, his friend having them long before Felix did, the reason he had kissed him in the first place, they kept their little secret to themselves. Sneaking off at parties, drunk on whatever the older boys smuggled inside, it was at one of them that it happened. A mutual friend found them in an upstairs bathroom, where it was dark, where not many of the boys came around, and saw Felix’s hand down the front of his best friend's jeans.

Naturally, his friend pushed him away, shattering Felix’s heart, the cracks filling up quickly with shame and guilt, but more fear than ever. There wasn’t anything he could say to defend himself, not when both boys started shouting horrible things at him, no matter if one of them was still sporting a hardon or not.

His dad picked him up that night. Felix managed to call him after his secret spread through the party in record time and he was shunned by every boy in the house. That was the night he came out to his father, in the car, still a little drunk. He was fifteen, he was gay, and he was entirely heart broken. Over time the bullying got so bad he had to switch schools, attending a different high school for his junior and senior years. He patched himself up from what had happened to him, but that didn’t stop the struggle of the years that followed, having to put up with men who weren’t sure if they were like him or not, wasting his time, using him to figure themselves out. One heartbreak after the next…

Did it terrify me that he clearly had feelings for me? Of course. Here he was, draped all over the boy who’d fuck anything that walked, knowing that I knew what he’d been through, knowing what I was, how I was, and he didn’t have a care. Though I knew, deep down, there was no way in hell I could, or should, or would cause this boy an ounce of pain. I wouldn’t let him do anything he’d regret in this state.

Besides, other than keeping my eye on him, I had another task on hand.

Spinning Felix and I around, that task was glaring at me from where she sat at the bar.

“Christ,” I muttered.

Felix nuzzled his cheek against mine and giggled. “What?”

Lowering my brows, I narrowed my eyes and sent her glare straight back. The way her arms were crossed and her chin was tipped down, like she was analyzing the two of us was entirely belittling. She wasn’t judging us because we were two guys, that much I knew. Unlike the boy she won’t admit she likes, Jade isn’t an asshole. She’s just complicated.

“It’s Jade,” I said to him, keeping my lips close to his ear. His groan, that he wouldn’t have made so audible if he wasn’t trashed, made me somewhat smirk. “She’s watching us. It’s been so long now, I don’t know why she still cares. I told her the truth. This is the truth. Why is she still holding onto this?”

Felix looked up at me and pouted. “I’m the truth?”

Meeting his eyes I smiled. “We are. Lix, I told you this. I’m not with her, I can’t be. Not with what you’ve done to me.” My words fell on drunk ears, and that somehow made it easier for me to speak them. He wasn’t sober, he couldn’t therapeutically analyze me. Not accurately at least.

“What have I done to you?” Felix whispered, his wide eyes falling on my lips.

Inhaling, I pushed my lips to the shell of his ear and sighed, feeling him melt into me. “Everything. Just keep dancing.”

When I glanced toward the bar again with a sigh of relief that Felix started singing along to the music once more, my stomach flipped over. Blood running cold at the sight of the man with silvery hair staring at me while Jade stared at him. As over it as I was, it didn’t mean it didn’t bother me seeing the two of them together.

Here we go, I thought. Catch her in a lie.

They did nothing more than speak. Frustratingly, they only shared words.

If they did anything else, I missed it. By the time they were looking at each other, a man taller than myself bumped into Felix’s back, knocking us both off our feet for a moment, turning my focus away from the bar.

“Hey, watch it,” I said. Felix’s hands gripped my shirt, keeping his balance by leaning on me.

The man was older, possibly ten or so years older than us. His bright blue eyes met mine, piercing through my hardened exterior. Slicked back dirty blonde hair with a curl laying over the left side of his forehead, he was handsome, and he was built. Definitely some sort of jock. Somebody we definitely shouldn’t bother with unless we wanted our asses kicked.

Dressed in his dark blue collared shirt accenting his wide shoulders, and his tighter denim jeans, he gave Felix and I a once over and scoffed before he strutted away with a roll of his eyes.

“Jerk,” I mumbled, and Felix put a finger over my lips.

“Stop,” he said, giving me a look. Could’ve sworn for a second the interaction had sobered him up, but then he tugged at my bottom lip gently with his fingertip and that idea was thrown out into the shitty parking lot. “I wanna kiss you so bad.”

“No, you don’t,” I sighed, tightening my gaze. “That’s the alcohol talking.”

“Drunk words are sober-”

“Felix!” I attempted to reprimand him, but a laugh came out along with it, making him laugh as well. His head tipped backward, his laughter filling the space, warming my heart. “You have to calm down. When you’re sober we’ll talk about this.”

Obliging to my request with a funny whine, he went back to dancing, minding his business, while I pointed my attention to the bar. The beat up wooden slab was now vacant where Jade and Minho once sat, short empty shot glasses left in their wake. They were gone, they were drinking, and I didn’t get to see where they’d escaped to.

Without thinking I started for the bar, Felix being dragged along with me, his feet stumbling beneath him, giggling as he tried to keep up. Dina was working tonight, the blonde curly haired blue eyed bartender I’d met a few weeks ago, the one who told me she was… On my side. She saw me coming, posting up where Jade and Minho had been sitting with her elbows perched on the wood.

“Hi, boys,” she shot Felix a smile, one that turned into a smirk as she focused her attention on me. Situating Felix on one of the stools, I wrapped an arm around his back to keep him upright. “What can I do for ya’?”

Sighing, I rolled my eyes, at myself, and cleared my throat. “Where’d they go?” Felix laid his head back on my chest, his eyes closing. One of his hands ran up my thigh, making me jump. Grabbing onto it, I yanked it away and he laughed.

Dina, withholding her own laugh, shrugged. “If you’re talkin’ about Jade and Minho, I have no idea. That girl barely gives me the time of day whenever she’s here. Shitty tipper, too.”

“Sorry,” I grumbled, shaking my head. Glancing around the room briefly before I focused back on Dina, the two were completely out of sight.

“Don’t be sorry, it’s not your fault,” she said. “She fits right in with those assholes who have money.” I rolled my eyes again, this time in agreement. “Don’t know why they all stick around here, in Soro. They belong with the snobs in Tamoe. Why you worried about them anyway?” She gestured to Felix with a simple look, returning it to me.

I’m not sure why it was so humiliating to admit. “I’m trying to see if she’s lying to me.”

Dina, pressing her lips into a line, leaned forward on the bar and parroted, “Trying to see if she’s lying to me.”

It sounded so much worse coming from her mouth considering Felix was glassy eyed and laid up on me with his fingers toying with the silver chain around my neck. “I told you this last week, we’re done, me and Jade.”

“Then, again, why you worried about them?” Dina cocked her head sideways, her blonde curls falling behind her shoulders. “Seems to me you got everything you want right here. Let the rest go.”

If only it were that simple.

I had to prove a point. I had to catch her. I had to see it for myself, that I’m not as shitty as everyone makes me out to be. That every single one of us is playing the same game. A game I never intended on becoming a pawn in. A game I wanted out of, a game I was sick of. Something I wouldn’t allow to happen to Felix and I. It was done, the cycle was done.

But, Christ, it was exhausting.

Dina was right. I had everything I wanted gazing up at me, touching me, saying he wanted me too, and here I was worried about a past I wanted to let go of.

Make it make sense.

“Come on, Lix,” I breathed, hooking my arm underneath his, pulling him off the stool. Not giving Dina a proper goodbye, I didn’t look back. My focus was forward, I needed to find them.

She was me. I wasn’t crazy. I wasn’t making it all up in my head.

“Wait, wait,” Felix muttered, trying to pull me back. He got me to pause, my brain only stopping for him, and when I looked at him, his brows were all twisted. “Are we going to Changbin? To find Changbin?”

Pulling my lips into a frown, I nodded. Changbin. A friend I’d been neglecting these past few weeks. “We are,” I said. “I’m sorry, Lix, I just need to find Minho and Jade.”

Holding my arms, Felix blinked a few times and tilted his head to the side. “I know,” he said after a second, “I just don’t want you to go near Changbin.” It was my eyebrows turn to go all twisted. Felix placed a hand to my chest and leaned into my ear. “He doesn’t say nice things about you, Hyunjin.”

Drunk words are sober thoughts.

How long had he been holding this in?

“What are you talking about?”

Felix pouted. “Recently, I mean. Whenever he’s around the others he doesn’t defend you, and it’s sad. It makes me sad.”

My lips parted, half shocked. His words take me back to a time before I knew him, really knew him. When I once thought that this friend group of ours would break, and we’d all be forced apart, forced to choose sides. Changbin was always on my side when the thought would occur. It wasn’t a second thought that the friend I’d had since before we were in college would have my back, stick by my side.

“Why, uh, why haven’t you… told me this before?” I asked, watching Felix’s inner turmoil take over.

“It’s only started recently,” he whined, brows flipping upward. “I promise, he hasn’t always been like this. Think it’s jus’ because of what’s happening right now.”

Nodding, taking a hand to his cheek to soothe him and his rambling, I said, “Okay, okay, it’s okay.” Felix’s pout relaxed, his eyes flickering between both of mine. “Do you defend me around the others?”

“I’m barely around the others,” he answered fast, entirely honest. “I don’t get a word in when I am, they don’t let me talk. They don’t… talk to me.”

After a gulp and a drag of my fingers over his cheekbone, I mumbled, “I’m sorry.”

His hand latched onto mine. “It’s not your fault. They could just leave you alone.”

They can't leave me alone. They can’t leave me alone because I can’t leave them alone. They’d bother me until the moment I let them go, and though I wished that day would come soon, I couldn’t let go.

“I’ll deal with Changbin later, okay?” I nodded my head, making him nod along with me. Little blonde pieces of hair caressed his forehead, right over his warm brown eyes. Brushing them away, I tried to smile. “Let’s just go talk to them for a second.”

At the high top tables toward the back corner of Haven, three boys sat around the beaten up wood with glasses littered across the top. Felix and I were approaching without knowing how much any of them had drunk this far into the night. My hopes were set on a shit ton, especially with the way Felix clung to me. Silently I prayed that in their own drunk blurriness Felix’s would go unnoticed.

His words lived in the back of my mind as I put my mission for the night back to the forefront, the Changbin thing he brought up. As we walked up to the table, it was a shock to see him sitting beside Chan, nudging him with his elbow while they laughed. They looked like natural friends, like they’d been buddies for years. Changbin had never warmed up to Chan like this, this was the first time I’ve seen them this way.

“Look out, boys.” The boy with the voice that drove pins into my skin every time. Han Jisung, nestled in his chair right next to Changbin. All three of them straightened up, their stares falling over Felix and I as I took up space next to Chan, the Aussie raising a brow.

Knowing he had to have been taking in Felix’s state, I sighed and tried to keep my voice as low as possible, my eyes on Chan’s and Chan’s only. “This is going to sound weird.”

He furrowed both brows. “I don’t know if I want you to finish then.”

“Please,” I nearly whispered, maintaining face. Chan glanced toward Han who snickered, boiling my blood. “I’m just looking for Jade, do you know where she went?”

“Why should I tell you?” Chan asked, shifting in his seat to face me. Though I was much taller, Chan was much wider, more muscular. “I do know where she went, but do you think you deserve to know?”

Felix, clinging to my waist from behind, tried to speak up. Shushing him in a messy rush of a glance behind me, Han snickered again and I longed to reach across the table to lay my hand across his cheek. Facing Chan once more, placing a hand to the back of his chair, I dug my nails into the wood and pressed my lips together.

“You and I both know who she’s with,” I muttered, venom in my eyes. Chan’s strong stance faltered the slightest. A consequence of being a good man. “You and I both know that I am not the only one causing problems here.” A quick glance to Changbin, he was focused on his glass. “She’s had the choice to leave me. Why am I made out to be the bad guy?”

“Uh,” Han stammered theatrically, lifting his glass before he took a decent swig. “Because you are, Hyunjin.” Smacking his lips together, the cup hit the table with a bang, then he pointed a finger my way. “You always have been. You always will be. And, not just to Jade, to us, too.” Changbin didn’t move an inch. My stomach roiled in discomfort. “I mean, look at what you’ve done just walking over here, we were having so much fun and you and your dark depressive cloud shit all over us.”

My fingertips went numb, the pins and needles springing to life.

“What the fuck, Han?” Felix spat, loosening his grip around me, leaning into the table. I didn’t even have the strength within me to pull him back.

“You’ll feel it, too,” Han winked at the blonde. “Eventually. He gets them all, always. No matter what.” Pins and needles shot up through my arms, into my shoulders, invading my chest.

“You arrogant asshole.” Felix’s accent made the words sound effortless, so regal, yet with so much more emphasis. “You’re such a sad excuse for a friend.” Everyone, including myself, shocked to hear him speak this way, as Felix hasn’t had anything not nice to say, ever, watched him calmly throw these words at the boy across the table. “Riding the tail end of your fathers success, you’ve never once understood what it’s like to struggle. He’s handed everything to you, you’ve gotten everything you’ve ever wanted, that’s not a good fucking look. Nepotism at its fucking finest.”

Han threw his head backward with a singular laugh. “Ugh, Felix, you’re so right! I’ve inherited almost everything. The job, the money, the success, and it’s all thanks to my father.” He shot me a degrading look. “What’d yours give you, Jinnie?”

“You’re disgusting, Han Jisung,” Felix said. Feeling his fingers tighten around me, somewhere, he helped ease the anxiety bubbling in my gut.

That is until Han crooned, “Brave coming from you, gay boy.”

That word.

That word that had Chan and Changbin reacting. Both holding up some type of hand, mumbling some type of word toward Han, something I couldn’t hear, something I couldn’t see.

Slinging an arm around Felix’s back, I ushered us toward the bathroom, away from the three of them. The pins and needles were spiking more so than before, spreading up to my face, my lips going numb. Shooting down my legs, into my ankles, it overtook my entire body.

It wasn’t until I was in a bathroom stall, in the quiet, with Felix’s hands around my neck that I was able to come to. His thumbs were wiping beneath my eyes, where tears had fallen.

“Don’t listen to them,” he was whispering, his eyes dancing all over my face. “Don’t let him get to you.” Him. Han.

“He’s right,” I sighed, wanting to wrap my arms around him, instead I kept my hands over my middle.

Felix shook his head. “No, he’s not. Nothing he said, nothing he’s ever said is right.”

Blinking, my tears fell onto his fingers. Shuddering a breath, I cried and shook my head. “What if it happens to you, too?”

My whisper paralyzed him. Brown eyes going wide, thick brows flipping over and pooling into the center of his forehead, Felix whispered, “Whether or not this turns into something more I’ll always care for you, Hyunjin.”

“You’re drunk,” I said, sniffling.

The cutest smile appeared on his lips, his brows still flipped over. “I am drunk,” he whispered, making both of us laugh. “But, shit, I’m having the best night. As selfish as that sounds ‘cause of what’s happening… Hyunjin, I’m having so much fun with you.” My tears ceased, my heart pounding louder between my lungs. “I need you to literally forget everything they’re telling you, everything they’re saying to you, because that isn’t you.”

Poking my tongue out between my lips, I tried to nod. “Even when you’re trashed you’re a good therapist.”

Felix swallowed his grin, dragging his thumbs over my cheeks once more. “That’s not what I’m doing here. You’re not a case for me to fix. I care about you, a lot, and I’ll say it however many times it takes for you to believe me. You’ve got baggage, yes, but we all do. I want to help you ‘cause… I really like you, and I know you’ll help me with mine once yours gets better.”

“I really like you, too, Lix,” I whispered.

Shocked, he moved a centimeter closer, pressing his body against mine. “Thought we weren’t supposed to talk like this.”

Focusing my eyes down on his lips, I breathed through a gentle laugh and gave him a slight shake of my head. “I like you.” Looking into his eyes that were full of hope, I started to smile. “You’re… different. Real.”

Felix sighed, eyes darting between my gaze and my lips. “Is this when I tell you to calm down?” Feeling my body relax itself, I slid both my hands around his waist and held him close. “Can’t even tell you you’re drunk,” he whispered, teasing me with what I’d been telling him on the dance floor.

Tipping my chin, I brushed our noses together and fluttered my eyes shut. His breath through his parted lips danced over my skin, taunting me, drawing me closer. “Tell me to stop,” I whispered.

“Never.” Felix caught my lips with his, his whisper forgotten in the air that expelled from him in a sigh. His lips, plush, so incredibly soft, fitting with mine ever so perfectly. Whether it was because we’d gotten past the we feel things part, or the pressure from the night, this kiss was unlike any other.

Rolling his chest into mine, Felix’s hands slid to my neck, wrapping around the back, keeping me over him. Pressing my fingers into his waist I let them slip underneath his shirt, the smooth skin soft, warm, inviting. He seemed to mold into me, against me, a perfect fit, his smaller frame seeming to click into place with my larger one.

I know I shouldn’t be kissing him, shouldn’t be letting this happen right now. Not while he was intoxicated, and certainly not when I was here for a completely different reason… A reason that didn’t seem to matter anymore. With the way Felix curled into me, my mind wiped. Feeling my skin heat up and my thoughts warping into Felix and Felix only, it had to stop, or it’d go too far.

Taking my hands to his shoulders I tugged him away and smirked at his pout. With swollen lips and shiny eyes he blinked a few times and the tiniest smile pricked onto his freckled face. “I liked that one,” he muttered.

A giggle fell from me. A giggle. “You’re so cute.”

“You’re so hot,” he said with no hesitation.

“Stop,” I eyed him through a smile.

Groaning, Felix let his weight go in my hold and dropped his head backward. “Don’t go back there!”

Catching him, I couldn’t help but giggle again. “Lixie, come on,” I said. “You know we can’t just do that.”

Standing up straight as if he hadn’t ragdolled seconds ago, he furrowed his brows. “Why not?”

“Because…” Pausing to gather reasons why we weren’t allowed to kiss one another, there wasn’t anything I could think up that sounded reasonable enough. Felix took a thumb to my lips and toyed with the bottom one.

Raising a brow, in a low voice, he said, “Thought so.”

“Lix, you’ve been drinking, that’s why.”

Looking up at me, his thumb still on my lip, he pondered to himself for a few moments, then smiled. “I still dream about kissing you like that when I’m sober.”

Sucking in a deep, shaky breath, I attempt to stop him once more, but before the words can come out, the bathroom door is opened and all of the outside noise from Haven interrupts me. Glancing down at our feet, it’d be very easy to tell that we were two men trying to occupy the same spot in a closed bathroom stall. Feeling my blood run cold, especially over the fact that Felix didn’t notice, or care, I maneuvered him off of me, putting an arms length between us.

Felix, milliseconds away from protesting, brows twisting in confusion, a voice from outside the stall cut in first.

“Hyunjin?”

It was Changbin.

Audibly sighing with relief, I threw my head against the plastic wall of the stall and shut my eyes.

“It’s just me, I promise,” he said, keeping his distance from the stall we were in. There were only two in the bathroom anyway, though there was plenty of room for more. Something I’ve brought up to Arnold numerous times.

“We’re in here,” I said, looking down at Felix whose glare could kill, and he was sending it toward me. “What?” I whispered harshly.

“Chan and I, we, uh, we put Han in his place,” Changbin said. I could hear the remorse in his voice. “They might have their issues, but no one should talk like that.”

They. The other side of the friend group he’s seemed to find himself on. Felix’s glare made sense.

“Um,” I stammered, wincing as Felix’s grip tightened on me. “Thanks, I guess. It’s still fucked up.”

“Oh, I know,” Changbin spoke a bit louder, as if to emphasize his point, a habit of his. “It’s fucked up, I mean, Felix, I wouldn’t ever let anyone say that to you, and now… Hyunjin, now that you’re…”

“Not gay,” I muttered. Felix bobbed his head, his eyes glistening with something related to happiness. I couldn’t push the words out, but this was Changbin, I’ve spent my whole life with him. “Just… Really liking… Felix.”

“We’ll work on that,” Felix whispered, smiling at the same time.

“Right,” Changbin said, clearing his throat. “Just want you guys to know I’m on your side.”

Felix switched back to the glare, and I’m suddenly reminded that apparently Changbin has been double teaming us. Taking him under my arm, I unlock the stall and step out, giving my old friend an uneasy onceover. He took into account the way Felix held onto me and the way I clung around him as well.

“You, uh, you and Jade,” Changbin said to me.

Gritting my teeth, I mumbled, “It’s done. It’s been done. The only thing that’s happened between us,” I gestured to Felix with a nod of my head, “While I was with her, was a kiss.”

“That I initiated,” the Aussie said softly. “It wasn’t even his fault.”

Turning my chin, I lowered my brows. “I mean, I wanted to,” I said. “You know that, right? I kissed you back, it wasn’t a-”

Felix took a hand to my chin with a flattened smile and turned me back to Changbin who watched with the ghost of a smile.

“You’ve got him, don’t you?” Changbin asked Felix, who answered with a blush of his freckled cheeks. Focusing back on me, a new amusement in his eyes, Changbin asked, “Why the interest in Jade still?”

Felix scoffed. “His mission.”

Changbin laughed. “His mission?”

Able to set aside his tiff about Changbin at my expense, Felix laughed with him, even more so as I lifted a hand in defense.

“You know why I am,” I shot a glare at Felix, lifting it to Changbin who crossed his arms and leaned against one of the sinks. Felix placed a hand to my chest, assuring me it was jokes. “Bin, you all… They all think that I’m the only bad guy here.”

Changbin nodded, his eyes shifting into his analyzing ones. A look he somewhat shared with Felix when their therapist was turned on. “Accountability, huh.” Sharing a look with Felix, he perked a brow. “You’ve done a shit ton in such a short time.”

Felix swallowed a smile, tapping my chest one more time. “Wasn’t me, it was all him.”

Unsure of what they were talking about, I swapped my attention between the two psychoanalyzers and narrowed my glare. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, but I know what I’ve done, okay? I fucked up, a lot. I’m not saying I deserve to get off scot free…” Pausing, I glanced at Felix. “Think that’s why I won’t let you kiss me.”

Felix wore the amusement Changbin once did. “I did kiss you. Twice. For a long time.”

“Whatever,” I squeezed my eyes shut, brushing it all away while Changbin laughed.

“Punishing yourself, or trying to,” he said, nodding. “You’ve put yourself in timeout. Or… you’ve tried to.” Changbin winked at Felix. “You’re a naughty boy. You see what he’s been trying to do.”

“He doesn't deserve punishment,” Felix whispered, and Changbin half agreed.

“This doesn’t explain why you need to know where Jade is,” Changbin began to question. “Or, as you said before, Jade and Minho. You’re standing here with Felix, what’s the difference if she’s with Minho?”

That nausea roiled within me. The Jade and Minho nausea had the possibility to rip me apart from the inside out.

“Because,” I began, tone low and shaking. “I’ve owned up to my fuckery. And though there may be more than she’s got, she won’t own up to hers. You’ve all watched it happen. I know you’ve seen it, right?” The way his gaze dropped told me everything. “Exactly. So, why am I the one getting all the piss?” Both boys were silent. “I haven’t witnessed anything. Tonight I intended to catch her in her lies. She tells me she has no interest in him. She tells me all this time she’s only wanted me, and nothing but me.” Laughing aloud, a singular sound startling both men, I said, “You’ve seen how I’ve been, who wants that and only that!?”

Felix stirred beside me. “I do.” His voice was quiet, small.

Looking down at him and his wide shining eyes, my heart swelled.

“You’re different,” I whispered. “You don't belong with these shitheads.”

It was quiet for a moment longer, Felix and I sharing words in the silence until Changbin spoke up, sending my heart plummeting through the tile.

“She and Minho left not too long ago.”

I won.

I don’t care what any lowlife has to say about me. Not anymore.

Because I won.

Jade sat across the kitchen table from me, red hot with rage, and I won.

It’d been two hours since I drove Felix home, leaving him with a kiss on the forehead, making sure he made it into his front door before driving away. Surprisingly calm, despite the anger sitting in my gut, I was more entertained than anything. It happened, I caught her. She and Minho spilled out of the backseat of his car, unaware that anyone would be there to catch them. Thinking they could trust the friends who sat around the wooden tables of Haven, not knowing one had been keeping tabs for my sake.

My friend. The one I’d always known was my friend. A friend I’d have to make apologize to Felix, getting them past the co-workers boundary.

I had been right the entire time. The delusions that haunted me in the middle of the night, the thoughts that would creep into my subconscious at the worst times, they were all right. Every single one. I wasn’t crazy. I wasn’t the only bad guy.

And I’d get her to say it.

“You were my girlfriend when I fucked Jennie,” I shrugged. Her eyes went wild.

“That hurt,” she spat. “Fuck you.”

“Fuck you!” I shot back, half in disbelief she’d throw the words around. She’s heard this before. It wasn’t the first time.

Dragging her hands through her hair to over her eyes, she rubbed the sleep away and sighed, placing her hands on her knees. Avoiding my eyes, she stared down at the table.

“I think… I think I should go,” she said, flickering her eyes up to catch my gaze. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“Like what?” I whispered.

“Like… like you’re sad,” she said, shaking her head. The front was working. “You don’t hold an ounce of empathy for me when you go frolicking down the streets to pick up the next conventionally attractive person, and take them somewhere to hook up.”

Maintaining face, I kept my lips ironed shut, and my argument from weeks prior resurfaced. She’s had so many opportunities to leave, opportunities to break things off with me. I had been open, honest, everything she could possibly need. I showed her who I was, or, what I had been. Unhappy. She chose, she made her choices, and I’m the villain.

“Some of them, we’re friends with, Hyunjin. So, yes. This relationship was over two weeks ago when you drove me to crazy town, to the point of no return.” My eyes were laser focused on hers. “You know, in a way, it’s like you pushed me right into his arms.”

“Oh, that’s rich,” I said, and she huffed a laugh. “Could I say the same about Felix? That you pushed me right into his arms?” Jade sat back and folded her arms over her chest. “You know I can’t, because I fought, and tried to make this work.”

“Did you?” Her snicker burrowed its way beneath my skin. “Sleeping with everything that walks by you is trying to make this work?”

My tone packed a punch. “You’ve been emotionally fucking with Minho this entire time, don’t even try to deny that! Though I know you will. You love him, and you’ll tell me that you don’t. Go ahead,” leaning forward, I plastered a fake smile to my lips, “Tell me you don’t love him. I wanna hear you say it again.”

She’s quiet, her mind working overtime at this ungodly hour of the morning. “Tell me you don’t love Felix.”

“I’ve spoken my truth about him, I always have, and I always will. I don’t know if I love him, it’s so new, but I can tell you I like him, a lot.” Pressing my lips together, I shook my head. “You deflecting the question tells me everything I need to know. You love him.”

“I do,” she whispered, and the words had me washed with fury, yet incredible release. The look in her eyes, full of a sorrow I couldn’t place. “I love him,” she whispered, taking in the shock that filled the cracks of my hardened expression. “But, I still love you.”

She left moments after the confession. Leaving me at the kitchen table, a nail shoved between my teeth, she gathered a bag, filling it with some of her clothes from our… my bedroom. The words had been spoken. Whatever was going on between us was over, and we both agreed that it had happened two weeks ago.

I asked her if she needed a ride to wherever she needed to go, and she gave me a sheepish look, telling me that Minho was downstairs waiting for her. She didn’t stick around long enough to see the amusement light up in my eyes, she was out the door seconds after telling me. Though once the door was shut I collapsed onto the kitchen table, clasping my arms around my head with a scream that should have the neighbors knocking.

It was real. All of it. The cheating, on both ends, the shared feelings, the mutual pining for others, the emotional distress, the love we had for one another, it was all real. The hell was finally over, the misery, the weight that clung to me and kept me in such a horrible place, it was done. Out of my life. I could move on.

I was free, and it hurt.

It hurt so goddamn bad.

Pushing my chair out from under me with a force, it collided with the wall behind it. Feeling shaky on my legs, I took myself into the kitchen, the lightheadedness hitting me harder than I thought it would.

Gripping the kitchen counter leaning forward onto it, I pressed my forehead to my arms sucking in shallow breaths. The cabinet that stared back at me was tempting. It called for me, it wanted me to open it. Everything inside of it could fix what I was feeling, it has before. Snatching one of the handles, my head lobbing onto the counter, I white knuckled the brass and longed to throw it open. Any one of the glass bottles on the shelves inside called my name, a sweet, sweet siren song.

But, all at once, another overpowered it. A deeper, happier, beautiful song that mimicked a laugh, bringing me to my senses.

Letting the handle go, I stumbled backward, pressing a hand to my brow and the hair that laid there, moist from my sweat. Coming to, like I’d been in a trance, an anxiety induced trance, I snatched my car keys from the counter, bounded out of my door, locking it behind me, and I got into my car and drove.

Following a familiar path I drove until I pulled into a driveway beside a grey Nissan, one I’d fix up one day, whether he’d let me or not. Slamming my door shut, I hurried up the walkway and rounded the house to the backdoor, where I was no more than three hours ago. Lifting the mat beneath the door I took the key and managed to get myself inside, popping right into the kitchen where he stood in a different t-shirt and boxer shorts.

With a glass of water in his hand he spun around in surprise as I wiggled the old door open, and he half smiled after it shut behind me.

“Hi,” he said, setting his glass down on the tan counters. Taking in my state, he took a step closer, but I stopped him by moving closer on my own. “Think I almost blacked out,” he laughed that laugh, and I almost fell to my knees. “You got me here?”

Nodding, I whispered, “Yeah,” still tiptoeing closer to him.

“Thanks,” Felix smiled. “I just tried calling you, I-”

Catching up to him, he didn’t have the time to finish speaking his peace. Wrapping my arms around him, I closed the space and kissed him with the ferocity he was begging for on the dance floor. Lasting about a minute, Felix melting into my hold, I pulled myself away and pressed my forehead to his.

“You drank something, you had water,” I half asked, looking into his eyes for confirmation. His stunned nod was answer enough, but he kept going.

“I did, a lot,” he whispered, focused on my lips. “I ate, too. Did you? Do you want something, I’ve got-”

Grabbing him by the waist, lifting him onto the counter, the whine that escaped him ripped my being in two. His arms slung around my shoulders, keeping my forehead over top of his while my hands tugged at the elastic band of his shorts.

“That’s not what I want,” I pushed from my lips in a whisper, nipping at his bottom lip before dropping to my knees.

Sunlight leaked through the shades, early morning sunlight, meaning I hadn’t been asleep for very long. Stretching my legs out over the mattress, blinking my eyes open to the pastel yellow walls home to photographs of people I didn’t know, my heart sprung out of my chest for all of two seconds until a pair of plush lips pressed a kiss to my collarbone. Turning my chin, ruffled blonde waves tickled my chin.

Felix, on top of the sheets with nothing but shorts on, smiled up at me, only his lips turning up, hiding a plethora of secrets behind them.

“Hi,” I attempted to say, my morning voice rough. Felix bit his bottom lip and tilted his head.

“Hi,” he whispered. “How do you feel?”

Sitting up to my elbows, I squinted in the light. “Shouldn’t I, uh… Shouldn’t I be the one asking you that?”

Felix smiled again, this one larger than the last, full of amusement. “I’m fantastic, but I’ve done this before, and it doesn’t matter who does who, it’s still proper to check in, Hyunjin.”

Flopping back on the sheets I covered my face with my hands and sighed, the end coming out with a laugh. Flustered beyond belief, I reached out a hand to cup his cheek, giving him a smile. “I felt like…”

Felix bobbed his head, melting into my touch. “Tell me, tell me everything.”

The light in his eyes was spectacular. He cared. This was… normal, talking about this. It wasn’t just a moment that’d never be spoken of again like all of my experiences had been, it meant something, it was supposed to mean something.

“I felt… like a virgin,” I said, and he laughed softly when I did.

“So did I,” he admitted, moving his chin to press a kiss to my wrist.

Shooting him a look, I narrowed my eyes and he laughed again.

“I’ve only been with four people,” he said. “One of them was female, I had to try it.” More laughter. He reached for my other hand and laced his fingers within mine. “You make five. The other guys I’ve been with have… They were more experienced than I was, so I followed their lead. I dated one of them for a while, but it doesn’t matter.”

“Was he older?” I asked, shocking myself with how the words just seemed to slip out.

Felix pursed his lips and nodded.

“How much older?”

His smirk was devious. “You’re a curious fucker this morning aren’t you?” Scooting closer to me, he buried me with kisses and giggles for a few seconds before he pulled away and sighed. “Much older.”

“Do I know him?” I asked just to mess with him, grinning wide as a disgruntled shout fell from his smiling lips.

“You most certainly do not!” Felix’s eyes shot open wide. “If you did I think he’d eat you alive, so let’s be grateful he lives many, many hours away. All the way past Delo.”

With a breath, I drug my fingers through his hair and accepted his answer as final. I’d be able to get it out of him with time, if he was going to give me any more of his time after this.

“Sorry I showed up unannounced.” The air grew quiet, the only sound heard was that of the birds outside his windows. “I didn’t know what else to do. Didn’t know where else to go.”

Dropping his head to my bare chest, where I now realize I’m completely naked beneath his sheets, he smiled up at me. “Don’t apologize. I’m happy you came.”

“Me too.” Winking at him, Felix swatted at me and sat up with a horrible laugh. Following him, I sat up as well, bunching the sheets up in my lap. Trying to not turn red as he ogled my bare chest, I caught him off guard with, “You have to teach me.”

Wide eyes shot up at me. “W-what? Teach you what?”

“Blow jobs,” I said, completely serious. The boisterous laugh that came out of him wasn’t condescending in the slightest, and in fact made me happy to hear I could amuse him with my ignorance. “I mean it, teach me. I think I… I just tried to do what I think I like to feel, yanno?” Scooting closer to him, our knees bumped. “But, what if you didn’t like that? What if I did something that was weird to you, or didn’t feel good, or it-”

He cut me off, grabbing each side of my face with his hands. “Hyunjin,” he spoke softly. “Trust me, you knew what you were doing.”

Cheeks squished in his grip, voice muffled, I asked, “You’re sure?”

“Positive,” Felix shut his eyes in approval.

I guess the way his head was thrown back against the cabinets was a good thing. He did have one hand gripping my hair, and the other on the countertop clawing at nothing…

When he opened his eyes I whispered, “I like the way you taste.”

“Fuck,” he breathed, giving me the swiftest kiss before pulling away, sitting backward on his bed, putting space between us. Following suit, I twisted where I was sitting so I could face him, eyes on alert, like I’d done something wrong.

“What’d I say?”

“Nothing,” he said immediately, giving me a reassuring smile. “I’m loving everything you’re saying, and I’m finding you so incredibly adorable right now that it pains me to even have to say this.” My stomach flopped and my heart sunk. If he had pulled one over on me and was about to send me home, cutting this off, I swear to… “I want to talk to Jade.”

The name sent a jolt through my nervous system. “Oh, w-why?”

He took a deep breath. “I used to consider her a friend. I’d like her to also hear it from me that nothing between us happened while you were together, nothing more than that kiss. I feel like I owe it to her. It won’t have anything to do with you, I don’t want to do it to… unpack you guys. It’s between her and I, what happened with me and Jade. I owe her a conversation. If she’ll let me.”

My gaze traveled around his room as he spoke, his voice of reason always right, always correct, even if it pained me a bit.

“I’m not saying this because of last night. Can you look at me?” Listening, I met his eyes full of care, full of trust. “I wanted last night to happen the day I met you, Hyunjin. I promise you. I care about you, I like you, I have some… intense feelings about all of this, but this is new. For both of us, but especially you. Do you agree?”

Heart fluttering at the thought that Felix had been crushing on me longer than he’d originally let on, I nibbled my bottom lip and bobbed my head. “Yeah,” I sighed. “I care about you and like you, too.”

He smiled. “So then… If you trust me? Can we start over? Not in the sense of forgetting all that’s happened, because believe me, I will never forget last night, but… If we both want this to work out we can’t jump in headfirst right now.”

Trust, communication, the start of a, hopefully, healthy relationship. I could get on board with that.

“You’ll be worth the wait,” I whispered.

Felix’s smile grew until it erupted over his entire face. Burying himself in his hands he giggled, and whined. “Don’t say stuff like that, you make me want to say fuck it all!”

A breath caught in my throat between a laugh. “Don’t say stuff like that! I’ll really make you say fuck it all!”

The glare he shot me crippled us both, rolling on the sheets until we met in the middle, his head resting back on my chest where it started. Unable to help myself, I delved a finger into his blonde waves and breathed him in, though he seemed to do the same to me.

“Friends,” Felix said quietly, eyes fluttering as I scratched his scalp gently.

Giving him a lazy smile, I whispered, “Friends don’t do this.”

“No sex,” he restated, a smile trying to appear on his lips, but I relaxed him further. “No kissing, unless… Unless it’s proper…”

Enamored by the way he seemed to drift off, I breathed through a laugh. “You want me to court you, I get it.”

His smile finally appeared, his eyes closed. “Maybe I do, Hyunjin.”

“No sex, no kisses, only on the back of the hand when I drop you at your doorstep in the evening,” he chuckled, “But, this is okay?”

He hummed his approval.

“You’re gonna be a handful, aren’t you, Lixie?”

He hummed again, his grin growing back to where it was. Then, his eyes popped open, halting my ministrations.

“We need to get tested,” he said. My brows scrunched above my eyes. “Don’t let me forget. We can go together. I’m coming up on one year anyway, I always go near the end of summer. Was a school thing for me.”

Dumbfounded, I squinted my eyes. “Tested… for what?”

Felix blinked, then pursed his lips.

“You gave me a condom…” I said, voice trailing at the slight disappointment mixed with adoration in his eyes.

Taking a hand to my cheek, he pinched the skin and smiled. “So much to learn.”

Smiling back at him, I attempted to nip his fingers, then whispered, “Teach me.”

haven masterlist ✧ talk to me ✧ thank you for reading <3

you do not have permission to copy or translate my works without my consent.

45 notes · View notes

lillit-d · 30 days ago

Text

the same "love"

that began at a distance

when he waits for every new message, listens with interest to other people's stories and talks on the phone for hours, hoping to one day see someone who, hundreds of kilometres away, has become so dear.

and one day

the realization comes that an accidental acquaintance on the Internet it turned out almost the most important. and they are together looking at the paired rings, drinking coffee on a balcony overlooking the Gulf of Venice

having fulfilled all their dreams, which were sometime only pleasant illusions

nightly obsession with dreams that do not belong only to me

14 notes · View notes

ven-fic-recs · 11 months ago

Text

SKZONTHEBRAIN's 2023 Fic Recs!

Below are some recommendations of fics I have collected through out the year! (I have definitely missed some amazing fics so make sure to check my tag in my pinned post for more amazing gems)

18+ Only (MDNI) as almost all of them include smut or at the very least are suggestive!

On my pinned post is a list of authors who create SKZ fic content, and who I highly recommend. All of their work is S-Class! 💕

Please ensure you read all individual fic warnings before reading any of the fics below!

Werewolf AU / Hybrid AU / A/B/O

Wereroomies Series (OT8) - @/therhythmafterthesummer (literally anything by Rhythm is amazing)

SKZ!Pack Universe (OT8) - @/leviackermanscleaningbuddy

Instinct (Bang Chan) - @/fizzydrink698

Yours (Bang Chan) - @/imhereforbrownies

Imprinted (OT8) - @/gamerwoo

SMAU Series

Watercolor (Hyunjin) - @/jinhyun (Can't recommend this enough)

The Boy is Bad News (Hyunjin) - @/milkandhyunnie

Drinking Sessions (Jisung) - @/starryjoongs

Series

Sharing a Bed Series (OT8) - @skzdarlingsThe Sleepwear Series (OT8) - @/charmercharm3r

Phases (reader x Minsung) - @/charmercharm3r (THISSSSS)

THE PUNCHLINE (OT8) - @/cb97percent (THIS ONE)

Truth Comes Out (Jisung) - @/kwanisms

Stray Kids go to Hogwarts (OT8) - @/hwan-g

ON TOUR (Hyunjin x reader x Felix) - @/seospicybin

Sharing is Caring (Minsung x reader x OT8 partner sharing) -@/skzms (If you haven't read this YOU ARE MISSING OUT)

Hot Bitch Summer (fratboy!stray kids x reader) - @/hyunsvngs

Sharp Edges (hyunjin x f!reader) - @/straywrds

(I CAN NOT RECOMMEND MARI'S WORK ENOUGH READ IT ALL)

The Taste of Honey (hyunjin x f!reader) - @/straywrds

Super Bored (hyunjin x f!reader) - @/straywrds

Four of Wands (hyunjin x f!reader) - @/straywrds

SMUT One Shots

Be That Guy (Bang Chan) - @/daizymax

Hyung Line: Love Languages and Sex (Hyung Line) -@/matryosika

Kiss Me More (Lee Know) - @/angelwonie

Cherry Chapstick (Hyunjin) - @/angelwonie

Ketamine (Felix) - @/ss-skyearn

Bold (minsung x fem!reader) - @/hyunsvngs

Late Night Confessions (Changbin x afab!reader) @/straykeedz

TEN BILLION YEARS (Minho x fem!reader) @/tasteleeknow

Good Morning (Jeongin x reader) - @/hyunnieshannie

Baby Fever (Hyunjin x fem!reader) - @/hwanghyunjinenthusiast

Guilty, Guilty / P2 (cheater!hyunjin x fem reader / hyunchan x fem reader) - @/seung-mong

Wearing Something That Turns Skz On (Changbin x afab!reader x Chan) - @/tyunphoria

HONEY (2min x fem!reader) - @/tasteleeknow

Jealousy (Bang Chan x afab!reader) - @/svngcore

PURE FLUFF One Shots (some may be suggestive)

All I Ask (Han x fem!reader) - @/miel-ji

It's the Little Things For Me (reader x stray kids) - @/strayingawayy (headcanons)

Safe Place (Lee Know x reader) - @/jae-bummer

Daisies (Hyunjin x reader) - @/jinhyun

Text One Shots

Any of the Text One Shots (OT8) - @/imagine-a-life-like-this

All of their Texts - @/starrgaziinggg

All of their text aus - @/feelbokkie

Skz reacting to you calling them by their english name - @/azurez

SKZ Reactions (OT8)

Any of their reactions - @/seungisms

Any of their reactions - @/feelbokkie

S/O getting another member on a stray kids soulmate quiz - @/binniecorre

When you introduce them as your boyfriend for the first time - @/softstraykidshours

Protective Tendencies - @/maxidentscene

You Get Hurt - @/blue-jisungs

When they accidentally leak their relationship with their s/o - @/mazeinthemiroh

PLAYING WITH SKZ’S HAIR - @/sunboki

Making out with SKZ - @/fairygemss

#Ven's fic recs 2023 #2023 fic recs #stray kids fic recs

63 notes · View notes

marvelous-llama · 1 year ago

Text

STRAY KIDS recs

most of the mentioned works is 18+ NSFW, MINORS DNI

tumblr is based on reblogs not likes, so please reblog and comment under works you like. Show love to the authors and appreciate their hard work

<<next chapters

pls don´t hesitate to hmu, if any of mentioned links doesn´t work or you have suggestions for more fics... thank you so much for all the love and comments

OT8

Soulmate AU Series by @skz317cb97

route 66 universe by @hwan-g (Bang Chan, Changbin, Seungmin)

The SSFW by @straylightdream

WereRoomies by @therhytmafterthesummer

ONE NIGHT AT BACK DOOR by @cb97percent

𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐦𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 by @straylightdream

jealousy, jealousy by @candlewaxandp0lar0ids

Stray Kids as High School Romance AUs by @jisungsdaydreamer

Stranded for the Holidays collab by @kwanisms

True Love Gave to Me Masterlist by @jishyucks

Bang Chan

Lee Minho

Seo Changbin

Hwang Hyunjin

Han Jisung

Lee Felix

Kim Seungmin

Yang Jeongin

109 notes · View notes

jwirecs · 2 years ago

Text

Recommended Misc Fics of February - March 2023💖

hello, hello! here are my recs for seventeen & straykids for february - march! hopefully these beautiful stories get more recognition as well as the writers 💝

** anything in parentheses and bolded are my thoughts that can be disregarded if needed **

🔞smut || 💔angst || 💕fluff || ✅completed || 🔄ongoing || 💯favorite

FAKE DATING

Again and Again || @lovelyhan🔞💕💔✅

↳ your mother calls one day, asking if you’re bringing mingyu along for chuseok this year. in your panic, you end up giving her an affirmative—never mind the fact that you and mingyu have stopped seeing each other over half a year ago.

OTHER AU

Anonymously Yours || @joonsytip 💕💔✅💯💯💯

↳ After an accidental text message turns into a digital friendship, you and Joshua start crushing on each other without realizing you both see each other frequently in real life. (not gonna lie, i cried a lil while reading this at work. i love it)

Distraction || @that-one-hyunjin-stan🔞✅

↳ Wonwoo knew he was supposed to be focused on teaching you how to play the game. However, you just looked too tempting.

Gym Rat || @onlyhuis🔞✅

↳ (theres no summary that i could find, but gym + smut)

Let Me Try Again || @papermatisse💕💔✅

↳ Soonyoung had never wanted to live a restrained capitalistic life, forced to work a tiresome 9 to 5, paying taxes until the day he dies. Though in exchange to pursue the other option, that being devotion to a career, he had to pay an unfathomably large price—he had to abandon everything and everyone he's ever loved. can he fit himself back into his former life? one that's changed more than he can possibly imagine? could the ones he loved forgive him for his wrongdoings? could he get the second chance he wants so desperately?

My Pillow || @alohajun💕✅

↳ (theres no summary that i could find, but this is cute)

Silky || @playmetheclassics🔞💕✅

↳ Your boyfriend got his hair permed and wants to know if it still feels as soft when you tug on his hair, mainly when he’s laid between your thighs.

The Racer and His Girl || @lovelycheollie💕✅

↳ “He held her close enough to kiss, close enough to whisper the most important secrets in the world, and he spoke to her as he would have wanted some good angel to speak to his family, to his own shivering young soul, long ago and in a land far away.”

Thirst Trap || @lovelyhan🔞💕✅

↳ when your boyfriend posts a deliberate thirst trap for millions to see. you end up feeling just a little bit sulky (oh sweet mother lord)

SOCIAL MEDIA AU

Little Secret || @haosvteen💕💔✅💯

↳ joshua’s life was as ordinary as can be expected for an idol. that is until a girl drops her hat and he texts her only to discover she’s a fan…and he’s her bias. he likes talking to someone who doesn’t know he’s an idol, but he needs to keep it that way. she can’t find out he is actually joshua hong from seventeen.

Play Along || @wonunuu💕💔✅💯💯💯

↳ you receive a text from a guy meant for the woman he once loved, unaware of the fact that she is already long gone. you decide to play along because well, you're bored.

Retrouvailles || @wonunuu💕💔✅💯💯💯

↳ happiness? are reunions always happy though? when you are reunited with someone you want to see the least, does it make you happy?

OTHER AU

Days Of Candy || @hwan-g🔞✅

↳ a lot of things happened in motel rooms, even more happened between him and girls like you, girls that ride on his bike and have him by the balls.

Route 66 || @hwan-g🔞✅

↳ you should’ve known, the moment you’d enter route 66, you’d be his. chan isn’t a generous man-he doesn’t share well.

Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter || @straylightdream🔞💕💔🔄💯

↳ a series of connecting college au stories with different members of skz. They can be read in the order below listed but you don’t have to read each on to understand the story.

SOCIAL MEDIA AU

Friends Without Desire || @skzhua💕💔✅

↳ “i like you so much, i want to give you my everything, only for you…”

SOULMATE AU

Midnight Diner || @hwan-g🔞💔✅

↳ he’s seen a lot of shit in his line of work. but this-he couldn’t let this go. not when you were involved.

Do check out all of the other Group Fics that i have reblogged as well!!

** if there is any fics that you guys would like to recommend, please do! i am slowly running out of fics to read **

#seventeen scenarios #seventeen fluff #seventeen smut #seventeen angst #seventeen social media au #seventeen established relationship au #seventeen fake dating au #seventeen fic recs #seventeen recs #stray kids scenarios #stray kids fluff #stray kids smut #stray kids angst #stray kids social media au #stray kids fic recs #stray kids recs

145 notes · View notes

tinyidle · 2 years ago

Note

I haven't seen any hard dom fics yet so here's a switch Hyunjin's with blindfolds that I read and if for my ovaries on 🔥

https://www.tumblr.com/hwan-g/692692498544558080/use-me-pair-switch-hyunjin-x-fem-reader

sorry ive been m.i.a for a few. i was doing something else and got caught up. anyway

today we got an angsty pwp from one of skz's finest

USE ME.

how do i feel about it?

so, i'll be honest. i had to skip the first part of the fic (up until hyunjin asked to taste fem!reader) because i wasn't getting past it. maybe the intricate words of angst went over my head, or maybe i kept reading too quickly. once i went to the tasting part of the fic, i was h o o k e d. hyunjin was a little agressive for me, not that i minded too much (a little cnc or rough sex warning), but overall the fic is a certified panty soaker lol.

my ranking:

👑👑👑👑

slow beginning, agressive mid-ending, overall yummy fic.

see you in the next fic! here's the previous fic i reviewed.

#tinyidle's rank #skz smut #stray kids smut #hyunjin smut #april : rank my fav fic

26 notes · View notes

k22ri · 5 years ago

Text

girl we need to be

romantics

now is the time for this.

16 notes · View notes

dandelions-143 · 3 months ago

Text

Secrets 4

All parts of Secrets here Hyunjin Masterlist

All Members found here Masterlist

Pairing: Non-Idol Hyunjin x Plus size/mid size fem!reader

Word count: 2,690k

Warnings: no smut but still 18+ Only! MDNI, Domestic violence/abuse, While not explicit, there are romantic and potentially sexual undertones in the interactions between characters, Strong language.

Summary: For six months, the pain of Hyunjin's betrayal left you numb. You went through the motions—pleasing your parents and seeking solace in a possessive lover you no longer desired. Each day was a struggle, until one fateful night when Hyunjin unexpectedly re-entered your life.

AN: no smut but it’s coming! I felt like I needed to give them more substance than just physical attraction. Also I want the tension to grow a bit more! Enjoy! Only one more part after this one!

You sat with your chin resting lazily in the palm of your hand, observing your parents' friends and business partners as they mingled in their expensive attire. Each of them concealed their unsavory nature behind costly, polished facades. "How pathetic," you scoffed under your breath.

Your black cocktail dress clung uncomfortably to your skin, its fabric itching with each shift in your seat. A weary sigh escaped your lips as you sought a more bearable position. The evening crawled by, minutes stretching into eternity. Your eyes flitted restlessly around the room, desperately seeking escape from your ill-fitting attire and the stifling atmosphere.

A waiter glided past, bearing a tray of champagne flutes. You eyed them wistfully, tempted to snatch one—if only to give your restless hands a purpose. The effervescent liquid shimmered beneath the chandelier's glow, its cheerful sparkle a mocking counterpoint to your somber mood.

"Darling," a voice called from across the room. You recognized your mother's tone—a blend of saccharine sweetness and veiled warning. She beckoned you over, her face fixed in a plastic smile as she stood beside some important-looking guests.

Stifling a groan, you rose from your seat, tugging at your dress's hem. Time to play your part in this elaborate charade. You painted on a synthetic smile and strode towards the group, each step a stark reminder of your current predicament's constraints.

After enduring your mother's endless prattle about trivial matters, Joo Won sauntered up to you. Tall, dark, and handsome, he was successful in his father's business—every woman's dream. Every woman's, that is, except yours.

He took your hand, kissing the back of it. You fought hard not to physically cringe as his lips touched your skin. Forcing a soft smile—hoping it didn't look too strained—you met his gaze. "Hello, Y/n. I was hoping you would be here tonight," he said. You simply nodded and gently slipped your hand from his grasp. "Oh, yeah... um, Mother would have my head if I missed too many of these things," you replied, tucking a few stray strands of hair behind your ear.

His eyes were cold, a stark contrast to his generically handsome features. "Would you like to dance?" he asked, taking a step towards you. Before you could answer, someone across the room caught your eye.

A man in a striking crimson suit. He was tall and lean, with shaggy raven-black hair. As he turned slowly, your breath hitched in your throat. When his piercing gaze met yours, you nearly fainted. It was Hyunjin, staring back at you with those familiar deep brown eyes, plump lips, and gorgeous features.

The noise of the party faded into muffled sounds around you. All you could hear now was the pounding of your heart in your ears. Joo Won was saying something to you, but your attention was solely fixed on Hyunjin.

He nodded slowly to you, a soft smirk playing on his perfect lips. Your eyes began to water. Why did you feel like crying? Why was he here? How was he here? The questions raced through your mind.

Your feet began to move, drawn inexorably towards Hyunjin. The sounds of the party faded as you approached him, your heart racing with each step. His eyes remained locked on yours, that enigmatic smirk still playing on his lips.

As you drew closer, you could see the rich texture of his crimson suit accentuating his lean frame. The air between you crackled with tension and unspoken words.

"Y/n," he said softly as you reached him, his voice a low, melodious sound that sent shivers down your spine. "I was wondering when you'd notice me."

You opened your mouth to speak but found yourself at a loss for words. How could you possibly articulate the storm of emotions swirling within you? Instead, you simply stared at him, drinking in his presence, still half-convinced he might vanish at any moment.

Hyunjin's smirk softened into a genuine smile. He extended his hand to you, palm up. "Care to dance?" he was clearly mocking Joo Won, his eyes twinkling with mischief and warmth.

Instead of answering, you responded with an incredulous, "What are you doing here, Hyunjin?" His pretty smile faltered, his face turning neutral. "I'm here on business actually."

You furrowed your brows in confusion. "Business? With whom? This is my parents' private event." Your eyes scanned the room as if Hyunjin's business associate would somehow stand out. Your gaze returned to the man you still loved, even after a broken heart and six months of separation.

Hyunjin parted his plump lips to reply when Joo Won suddenly appeared. His hand rested on your shoulder as he stood slightly behind you, his touch too possessive for your liking. You watched as Hyunjin's eyes flicked from Joo Won's face to his hand on you and back up.

"Y/n, you walked off so abruptly. Are you going to introduce me to your friend?" Joo Won said, a hint of stern possessiveness in his voice.

There was a moment of hesitation before Hyunjin's neutral features pulled into a dazzling smile as he held out his hand. "I'm Hyunjin, one of Y/n's friends from college." You watched as Joo Won took hold of Hyunjin's hand, shaking it firmly. "I'm Joo Won, Y/n's..." he glanced down at you then back to Hyunjin. "Boyfriend."

Your face flushed hot as your eyes widened at his false claim. Hyunjin's eyes flashed with sadness as he glanced at you, but then he focused back on Joo Won. The two men stood there, almost staring each other down, but Hyunjin was the first to pull away.

"Ah well," he ran a hand through his long hair. "I have to get back to business. It was nice meeting you, Joo Won." Hyunjin looked at you, a mixture of longing and pain in his dark eyes. "It was good to see you again, Y/n."

He nodded and turned, walking away from you. Your mouth was sealed shut, stunned and unable to move or speak.

As you stood there, frozen in place, a mix of emotions coursed through you. The shock of seeing Hyunjin again, the confusion about his presence at the event, and the frustration at Joo Won's false claim all swirled together, leaving you momentarily paralyzed.

Slowly, you began to regain your composure. Your eyes followed Hyunjin's retreating figure, a part of you yearning to call out to him, to clear up the misunderstanding. But the words caught in your throat, trapped behind the facade you were expected to maintain at these events.

Joo Won's hand was still on your shoulder, its weight now feeling more oppressive than ever. You took a deep breath, steeling yourself to address the situation. Turning to face him, you prepared to confront him about his false claim and assert your independence.

"Joo Won," you began, your voice low but firm, "why the fuck did you say that?" Your eyes bore holes into his smug face. If you weren't in a room full of self-centered socialites, you would have slugged him in that stupid face of his. Joo Won just shrugged. "We may not be official, Y/n, but you're mine, and I thought he should know that."

You scoffed and rolled your eyes at his words—the dumbest you had ever heard in your life. Just as you were about to shove your finger in his face and tell him exactly where you were going to shove your foot, you heard your mother's shrill, nasally voice calling for you. "Y/n! Y/n, come here, darling. Your father wants to introduce you to someone." You kept your eyes on Joo Won for a second longer before turning your attention to where your mother was standing in a group of people.

You huffed in annoyance but fixed your expression as much as you could before walking over to her. "Y/n darling, your father wants you to meet his new business partner," she stated, but a familiar voice interjected, "I am just the middle man, Ma'am. My boss is your husband's business partner." Your eyes met Hyunjin's burning stare once again.

"Oh, that's right. Well, you're too handsome not to introduce to my beautiful daughter." Your mother gripped your hand, pulling you closer to them both.

"Y/n, meet Mr. Hwang." Your mouth fell open at the fact that your mother didn't remember meeting him months ago. You opened your mouth to speak, but Hyunjin took your hand in his and kissed your knuckles softly. "It's a pleasure to meet you, Y/n." Your eyes stayed locked on his, conveying a hint of secrecy. You closed your red-painted lips.

You felt a spark of electricity run through your body as Hyunjin's lips brushed against your skin. You definitely didn’t feel like cringing when he kissed your hand. The moment seemed to stretch on forever, his touch lingering just a second too long to be purely professional. As he released your hand, you caught a flicker of something in his eyes—a mix of longing, mischief, and determination that made your heart race.

"Lovely," your mother spoke, her eyes darting between the two of you. Your foggy mind slowly came back to reality when Hyunjin let go of your hand and your father's booming voice sounded around you. "Mr. Hwang, let's go into my office. Talk politics and let the women gossip as they do." He clapped Hyunjin on his broad shoulder, causing his smile to turn into a little wince before he bowed to you and your mother. "See you beauties later," he said, his eyes lingering seductively on you. Your chest felt tight as you watched him turn and walk away with your father.

Hours had passed since you'd last seen Hyunjin. Your father had reappeared in the crowd, but there was no sign of the handsome man who'd once stolen—and shattered—your heart. It infuriated you that, even after all this time, he still consumed your every thought and sense. You couldn't escape him.

You sighed heavily, running a hand through your hair as you scanned the room once more. The party had become suffocating—a claustrophobic maze of fake smiles and hollow conversations. Your mind kept drifting back to Hyunjin, to the enigmatic glances and unspoken words that hung between you. Despite your best efforts to push him from your thoughts, his presence lingered like a persistent shadow, refusing to be ignored.

You'd had enough of this stuffy party and these fake people. Before you could truly think about it, your heeled feet were moving, carrying you across the marble floor towards the front door. Just as you were about to reach the exit, a strong hand caught your arm. Your head snapped up to see Joo Won glaring down at you. "Where are you going?" he demanded, as if he had any right to know.

You jerked your arm away without reply, your feet still moving you to the door. You just wanted to be in your room, cuddled up with a movie or a book—anything to distract you from your parents and thoughts of Hyunjin.

As you pushed through the door, the cool night air hit your face, providing a welcome respite from the stifling atmosphere inside. You took a deep breath, feeling the tension in your shoulders begin to ease. Your heels clicked against the pavement as you made your way down the path, eager to put some distance between yourself and the party.

The quiet of the night enveloped you, broken only by the distant sounds of the city and the fading murmur of the party behind you. You wrapped your arms around yourself, suddenly aware of the chill in the air against your skin.

As you walked, your mind continued to race with thoughts of the evening's events—Hyunjin's unexpected appearance, Joo Won's possessive behavior, and your parents' expectations. You longed for the sanctuary of your room, where you could finally let your guard down and process everything that had happened.

"Y/n!" Joo Won's voice rang out behind you, making you quicken your pace as you tried to reach your car. You wanted nothing more to do with him. Your head was spinning from the whirlwind of events tonight, especially seeing Hyunjin again. Just as you approached your car, Joo Won wrapped his hand around your arm, jerking you forcefully towards him.

You let out a frustrated cry, "Let go of me! I want to go home!" You tried to shake his hand off, but his grip was too tight, painfully so. You knew you'd have bruises—the bastard.

Joo Won's grip tightened further, his eyes flashing with anger. "You're not going anywhere," he growled, his voice low and threatening. Fear and adrenaline surged through your body, your heart pounding as you realized the danger you were in.

"I told you to never walk away from me again. Remember what happened last time?!" he snarled, his black eyes flashing with unjustifiable rage. Just as he began to drag you in the opposite direction, someone came up behind Joo Won, yanking him down by his shirt collar. He hit the ground with a hard thud.

Two warm hands cupped your cheeks, and your eyes rose to meet Hyunjin's concerned gaze. "Are you alright?" You nodded, still in shock from what had just transpired. Your voice trembled as you replied, "I... I think so." Hyunjin's hands remained on your cheeks, his touch gentle and comforting. You could see the concern etched on his face, mixed with a flash of anger as he glanced back at Joo Won.

Joo Won stood up, fixing his disheveled clothes. "I don't know who you think you are, but this has nothing to do with you. So kindly leave us be." Hyunjin fully turned his body towards Joo Won, shielding you from him.

Hyunjin's voice was low and dangerous as he addressed Joo Won, "I think I'm someone who doesn't stand by while a woman is being harassed. Now, I suggest you leave before this escalates further." His stance was protective, his body a barrier between you and Joo Won. You felt a mix of relief and anxiety as the tension between the two men grew palpable in the night air.

Joo Won's face contorted with rage, his fists clenching at his sides. "This isn't over," he spat, his eyes darting between you and Hyunjin. With a final glare, he turned on his heel and stormed back towards the party, leaving you and Hyunjin alone in the dimly lit parking lot. The silence that followed was heavy, filled with unspoken words and lingering tension.

You bit your bottom lip, "Thank you, Hyunjin." You spoke to his broad back. Before turning towards you, he closed his eyes momentarily, savoring the way you said his name—something he had missed so much. He finally turned to look at you, his eyes searching your face. "Are you sure you're alright?" he asked once more.

"Mhm... yeah. Joo Won could never take rejection," you muttered, rubbing a hand over the now tender skin of your arm. "I'll kill him if he ever touches you again," Hyunjin said, his face and tone leaving no doubt about his seriousness.

Your breath caught in your throat at his words, a mix of emotions swirling within you. The intensity in Hyunjin's eyes made your heart race, reminding you of the connection you once shared. Despite everything that had happened between you, his protective nature still stirred something deep inside you. You found yourself torn between the comfort of his presence and the painful memories of your past.

You picked up your small purse from the wet ground. "Well, um... I guess I should be going." You took your keys out of your bag and unlocked your car. Just as you were getting in, Hyunjin put his hand on the frame, stopping you from closing the door.

"I have to meet your father for brunch tomorrow at his house. After, would you like to meet up? Maybe talk? I know it's way overdue."

You hesitated for a moment, your eyes searching Hyunjin's face. The weight of your shared history hung heavy in the air between you. After a deep breath, you nodded slowly. "Okay," you said softly, "I suppose we do have a lot to talk about. I'll be at the house as well. I'll see you then." With that, you gently closed the car door, leaving Hyunjin standing in the parking lot as you drove away, your mind already racing with thoughts of tomorrow's meeting.

Sleep eluded you that night. Your mind raced with thoughts of Hyunjin's sudden appearance and his unexpected business dealings with your father. Could it truly be mere coincidence? These questions plagued you until you finally drifted off around 3 AM, only to spend the rest of the night tossing and turning restlessly.

When sunlight finally streamed through your window, you were already awake. You groaned softly, rubbing your tired eyes as you swung your legs over the side of the bed. Last night's events replayed in your mind—Hyunjin's unexpected appearance, the confrontation with Joo Won, and the promise of a long-overdue conversation. As you stood up, stretching your stiff muscles, a mix of anxiety and anticipation for the day ahead washed over you.

You took your time showering and getting ready. Catching yourself wondering if Hyunjin would like to see you in this outfit or that one, you shook your head. "Stop it," you muttered. "Who cares what he thinks? His opinion no longer matters."

As you slipped on a pair of jeans and a basic white tank, pulling a cream cardigan over it, you paused to examine the finger-shaped bruises on your upper arm. "Stupid Joo Won," you hissed.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Hyunjin's loud, open laughter drifting up from downstairs, mingling with your father's deep chuckle.

You hesitated at the top of the stairs, your heart racing as you listened to the easy conversation below. It felt surreal to hear Hyunjin interacting so comfortably with your father, especially given your shared history. Taking a deep breath, you steeled yourself for the encounter ahead and began your descent, each step bringing you closer to the inevitable confrontation.

As soon as Hyunjin came into view, your heart felt like it was going to stop beating. Why did he still have this effect on you after everything? Hyunjin sat comfortably across from your father at the table. His dark hair was a bit messy today, and his clothing much more subdued than last night—a pair of khaki pants, black boots, and a plain black shirt, with a couple of silver necklaces hanging from his neck.

Your eyes met his as you reached the bottom of the stairs, and for a moment, time seemed to stand still. Hyunjin's gaze softened, a mix of surprise and something else you couldn't quite decipher flickering across his features. Your father, oblivious to the tension, greeted you cheerfully, "Ah, there you are! Come join us for breakfast, dear."

You hesitated, caught between the desire to flee back upstairs and the need to face this situation head-on. Taking a deep breath, you forced a smile and made your way to the table. "Good morning," you managed, your voice steadier than you felt. As you took your seat, you couldn't help but notice how Hyunjin's eyes followed your every move, his expression unreadable.

"I won't be intruding on very important business talk?" you asked softly, a hint of playfulness in your tone. Your father shook his head, "We've already finished that up."

Your father's words hung in the air as you settled into your seat, the tension between you and Hyunjin so thick it was almost tangible. You couldn't help but steal glances at him, noticing how he seemed both familiar and foreign at the same time. The silence stretched on, broken only by the clink of cutlery against plates, until your father cleared his throat and began regaling you both with a story from his latest business trip.

After an hour of eating and small talk, your father wiped his mouth and got up from the table. "I have another meeting to get to. Y/n can show you out, Hyunjin. Tell Mr. Lee it was a pleasure doing business with him." Hyunjin stood briefly and shook your father's hand. "Of course, thank you, sir." And with that, your father left.

As your father's footsteps faded away, an awkward silence settled between you and Hyunjin. You both stood there for a moment, unsure how to proceed. Finally, Hyunjin cleared his throat and spoke softly, "Should we go somewhere more private to talk?" You nodded, feeling a mix of nervousness and anticipation as you led him towards the back of the house.

"We can talk in the garden, it's always really quiet out there," you said, biting your bottom lip as you pushed open the glass door that led outside.

The garden was a tranquil oasis, with lush greenery and colorful blooms surrounding a small stone path. As you stepped outside, the gentle breeze carried the sweet scent of flowers, providing a momentary distraction from the tension between you and Hyunjin. You led him to a secluded bench nestled beneath an old oak tree, its branches offering a canopy of shade and privacy.

You watched Hyunjin's tongue dart out to lick his lips before he began to speak. "I—um..." His hand came up to rub the back of his neck in a nervous habit. "I know the words 'I'm sorry' don't really fix anything, but it's a start, and I am truly sorry for everything I did to you." He paused and looked over at you, his cinnamon eyes meeting yours. "And everything I didn't do."

You felt a lump form in your throat, emotions swirling inside you as you processed Hyunjin's words. His apology hung in the air between you, heavy with the weight of your shared history. Despite your best efforts to remain composed, you could feel your resolve beginning to crack, torn between the lingering hurt and the undeniable pull you still felt towards him.

"Why? Why did you make that bet to fuck me? Why did you humiliate me like that? You and your friends laughing at me behind my back..." Tears threatened to spill onto your cheeks, your bottom lip quivering as you tore your eyes away from him. You felt him move closer, a sense of urgency in his movements, but he didn't touch you. "Please don't cry... I've made you cry too much." His words hung heavy in the air, a mixture of regret and sincerity lacing his voice. You found yourself caught between the desire to push him away and the longing to understand. As the silence stretched between you, the garden's tranquility seemed to mock the turmoil within your heart.

Hyunjin took a deep breath, his eyes filled with remorse as he continued, "I was immature, stupid, and caught up in a world where I thought impressing my friends mattered more than anything else. I didn't realize the gravity of my actions or how deeply they would hurt you. It was never about you specifically—you were just... there. And that's what makes it even worse. I treated you like an object, not a person with feelings."

He paused, running a hand through his hair, clearly struggling with his words. "As time went on, and I got to know you, I realized how amazing you were. But by then, I was in too deep. I was a coward, afraid to admit the truth, afraid of losing you. I convinced myself that if you never found out, it would be okay. But it wasn't okay. Nothing about what I did was okay."

Hyunjin's voice cracked slightly as he continued, "I can't change the past, but I want you to know that the regret I feel is real. The person I was then... that's not who I am now. I've spent these past few months thinking about what I did, wishing I could take it all back. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I hope that someday, you can find it in your heart to believe that my feelings for you became genuine. Because they did. They still are."

You sat in silence for a moment, absorbing Hyunjin's words. Your heart raced as conflicting emotions washed over you—anger, hurt, and a flicker of something else you couldn't quite name. Finally, you took a deep breath and spoke, your voice barely above a whisper, "I appreciate your honesty, Hyunjin. But it doesn't erase the pain you caused. I spent so long questioning my worth, wondering what I did wrong. To hear that it started as just a game... it hurts all over again."

You paused, gathering your thoughts before continuing, "I want to believe that your feelings became real. Part of me even wants to forgive you. But I'm not sure if I can trust you again. How do I know this isn't just another act?"

Your eyes met his, searching for sincerity. Despite your resolve, you felt a familiar pull towards him—a remnant of the connection you once shared. You shook your head slightly, trying to clear your thoughts.

"I need time, Hyunjin. Time to process all of this. To figure out if I can move past what happened. I can't give you an answer right now about forgiveness or... anything else."

You stood up, wrapping your arms around yourself as if for protection. "Thank you for being honest. But please... give me space to think about all of this."

Hyunjin stood up and took a tentative step towards you. Your eyes never left his as he leaned in closer. You could see all the familiar imperfections that you loved now that he was closer to you. The way one side of his plump lips was just a bit bigger than the other side. How the stubble on his chin grew in small patches. He always hated that.

His brown eyes flickered down to your lips, and for a moment, you thought he was going to kiss you. And... you probably would have let him. But Hyunjin lifted a hand and tenderly wiped away the tears that had fallen onto your cheeks. He let the warm pads of his fingers stay on your skin just a bit longer. His thumb swiping slowly over your bottom lip. "I will wait as long as it takes, Y/n."

That's when Hyunjin reached into his pocket and handed you a piece of paper. "I wrote this out last night but chickened out at the last minute to give it to you." You glanced down at the paper that had his handwriting scrawled messily on it. "It's my cell number and my current address while I'm here."

You took the paper from him, your fingers brushing against his for a brief moment. The contact sent a familiar jolt through you, stirring up memories and emotions you thought you had buried. You tucked the paper into your pocket, nodding silently as you tried to process the weight of this gesture. Hyunjin was giving you control, allowing you to decide when—or if—you'd reach out to him.

As you watched Hyunjin walk away, his figure becoming smaller in the distance, a mix of emotions swirled within you. The weight of his words, his apology, and the piece of paper in your pocket felt simultaneously overwhelming and strangely comforting. You took a deep breath, the scent of the garden flowers filling your lungs, as you contemplated the crossroads you now found yourself at.

Taglist:

@cashtonsbetch @katsukis1wife @hyunjinhoexxx @ihrtlino @breezy-simp @vixensss @yaorzu-blog @tirena1 @whatdoyouwanttocallmefor @chuuyaobsessed @doohnut @babigriin @iovecb97 @kpflyn @rylea08 @sheerfreesia007 @tsunderelino @cookiesandcreammy @rockstarkkami @moonchild9350 @syedazarintasnim @myflowercloud @143hyunes @luvyblossom @shecheatedwithme @antisocialties @akaligogrrr @thisaintredwine @rose-w-00-d @jisuperboard @velvetmoonlight @kayleefriedchicken

135 notes · View notes

chimivx · 4 months ago

Text

TASTE. -> 'Haven' from the POV of Hyunjin. (Part Six of Six)

summary: 1998 is his year. He's sure of it. (With a bonus snippet of the future.)

word count: 12k

warnings: 18+, mentions of alcohol abuse, struggles with mental health themes, cursing, drug use mentions, sex is insinuated, physical violence between male friends is talked about, if I missed anything PLEASE LET ME KNOW!

a/n: I don't even know how to say goodbye to this. This has been two years of my life. Thank you to everyone who's been on this wild ride. <3

more about Beomgyu and his family in NMWID.

“You can take this, and you can sit down,” Felix’s voice carried through his kitchen, our kitchen, as he handed Seungmin a pitcher of water and waved him away. “You haven’t slept in thirty six hours, you’re nuts if you think I’m going to let you do too much.” Laughter followed, pulling a smile out of me.

From the kitchen table I heard Changbin reprimand the boy as well, telling him again and again how he’s been working too hard, too much. Glancing their way from where I stood at the counter plating a couple dishes, I couldn’t help but laugh. Seungmin had all eyes on him, and several different people doting on his every need.

Felix, setting the table up making sure he had what he needed in front of him. Changbin, filling up his glass with water when he set the pitcher down. Jeongin, unfolding a napkin and laying it across his lap to protect the scrubs he hadn’t changed out of yet. Changbins girlfriend, Yeri, who he’d been seeing for over a year now fussed over Seungmins messy hair, jokingly brushing it away from his forehead like a mother. Jisoo, Jeongins new girl of a few weeks, sat back, watching the chaos unfold before her.

“You didn’t even change your clothes,” Yeri nagged, and Changbin agreed with her. The two were a perfect pair, Yeri knew how to match Changbin’s playful side perfectly. She plopped beside her boyfriend and narrowed her eyes toward the nurse. “Don’t tell me you haven’t eaten today.”

Seungmin, sipping his water, nearly choked, planting the glass down with persistence. “I didn’t change my clothes, you think I had time to eat!? Why do you think I’m here!”

Insistent messy chatter erupted once more, the table full of so much life my cheeks hurt from smiling. Taking the plates to the group I sat them down, the finishing touches, and relished in the happy sounds from every mouth. Wasting no time they dug in, letting Seungmin fill his plate first, taking turns helping each other with their portions.

Folding my hands in front of myself, I stood a foot away and watched them indulge. Taking in every smile, every compliment, every little piece of this evening that brought me comfort, and I pocketed it with the intention to remember it on a bad day. Seungmin, Changbin, Jeongin… Friends who stuck by me through the worst. The last two years that pulled me through the ringer, a challenge in every waking moment. Yeri, who slipped right into our dynamic with ease, becoming everyone's mother, and Jisoo who I’m sure will slip into a role at any minute. They were my people. My family.

And then, at the end of the table, an empty chair beside him, sat Felix. A smile resting on his lips he watched me watch them. The blonde, baby faced Aussie, love of my life.

A month after our decision to take our time we dove headfirst into the deep end. Neither of us could help ourselves, certainly not when you spend every waking second together. Though, I won’t lie, the beginning was rough.

After Minho fought dirty and I was able to go home, Felix took me to my apartment. Changbin followed and helped us inside. Once things were deemed safe, and I was somewhat okay, he headed out for the night knowing I had Felix to look after me. I had a shower, that I’m ashamed to admit Felix took with me, a platonic shower. Nothing happened, he may have kissed me, and I may have kissed him back, and I may have had to sit on the edge of the bathtub because it was hard to stand for so long, but it doesn’t matter!

He helped me into bed and he laid with me, and I watched him fall asleep. Those long lashes brushing his freckled cheeks tore me to pieces. That night they weren’t enough to keep me where I was supposed to be, in bed, next to him.

Awake for hours, my mind raced, thoughts I couldn’t even begin to put together now that I’ve worked them out with Namjoon, the therapist I’ve been seeing for two years. He’d been able to fix most of what had happened, even though Felix tells me it was I who did the work…

The thoughts were coming toward me rapidly, faster than ever, and we still don’t know if it was purely just a panic attack or if it was the aftereffects of what had happened to me, and the oxygen to brain thing. I was near hallucinating, hearing my father, seeing him… Wondering if the fight had really been between Minho and I, or he and I… Your mind is the scariest place to be trapped in.

Living through this before, I knew only one way to cope. And it wasn’t by waking Felix up.

I snuck out of bed, almost toppled to the floor, and inched my way into the kitchen to that goddamned cabinet that was still full of my vice. Felix will tell me he found me before it got too bad, I don’t really remember anything after rolling off my mattress. Part of me thinks he’s saving my feelings by telling me it wasn’t bad, and that he himself doesn’t want to relive it by telling me the truth.

I forgive him for that.

We ended up in the emergency room anyways, so protecting my feelings or not I know it was awful. The only thing he’ll tell me is that he took me there because he loves me, and they were the only people capable of keeping me safe. I stayed there for a few days, and then I was sent back home.

Great system. Really, really great system.

It felt like I had been thrown straight back into the nightmare I had been living for a year. Sleepless nights, unable to leave the apartment, drinking myself unconscious… Was a wonder why Felix signed himself up for this trainwreck so quickly. Through the start of my hours in therapy it soon came to my realization that Jade was never the main issue like I had thought she was.

Did she cause some of my distress? Yes.

Did I cause most of her distress? Yes.

Did we both deserve that? No.

The main, huge, horrific issue that bitch slapped me across the face was my childhood. A topic that took months to unravel, and is still being unraveled. A terrible thing to uncover and relive, truly.

But, I’ve been sober for three months now so something must be working.

I find joy in having my friends, our friends, over for dinner once a month. Moving into Felix’s home at the start of this year it was his idea to start the tradition, to keep us all close. No one found interest in Haven anymore, so it was a win win. Our home became the spot for them to loiter, the couches for them to snooze on, the fridge to raid. And we loved every second of it.

It brought me genuine joy now that I could process it clearly.

Felix pulled out the chair beside him and wiggled a finger at me toward him. Giving him a small smile and a nod, I backed up to the fridge first to grab us drinks, not realizing Jisoo had beaten me there. She let out a quiet laugh as I bumped her with my back.

“So sorry,” I breathed, whipping myself around, taking an appropriate step back. Flashing me her heart shaped smile she shrugged it off.

“You’re good,” she pulled the fridge open and quizzed the selection with narrowed eyes, flashing me a look. “What are you drinkin’?”

Folding my hands over my front like they had been, I tilted my head and said, “I can grab it, don’t worry.”

A smirk grew on her pink lips as she eyed me. Reaching into the fridge she fumbled with a box for a second, then handed me a beer before grabbing two for herself. “Here, it’s Jeongin’s favorite, try it. We brought a whole case, he won’t miss one.” With a quick wink and a push of the fridge door, the crop top, jean wearing girl with long dark hair sauntered away, leaving me with an ice cold bottle of beer in my hand.

She’s lucky beer wouldn’t be my first choice.

It did look good though, the label talking about some brand new flavor supposed to be as crisp as ever… The brown tint of the bottle was all too familiar. It was a twist off, too. We didn’t have any bottle openers in the house. This one would pop right off in my hand. It’d be cold going down, and if the label told me the truth, it’d chill me out in seconds.

But, I didn’t need to be chill right now.

I was already chill.

She put this in my hand without knowing a thing. Our friends were allowed to bring their own drinks over, knowing we never kept any in the house, we allowed them to bring what they wanted as long as it left with them. No one offered me any, no one made a big deal over where to put them or whether or not they had to hide them.

I could control myself.

Changbin has lessened what he drinks around me, but I don’t force him to stop completely, he’s done that on his own. He tells me he’s started doing it for himself, but I know after watching me do what I’ve done I’m the reason why. Seungmin never really enjoyed drinking, but he’d have one occasionally if the day was special. Jeongin, the youngest of us all, compared to Changbin.

And Felix, he’s been sober since that one night at Haven where the two of us were first shoved within that tiny bathroom stall.

Opening this, drinking it, would undo three months. This is the longest I’ve gone without a single sip since I was probably fifteen years old. I felt proud of myself. It felt like a major accomplishment, and everyone around me seems to think so as well. On the date, Felix took me to dinner. Changbin and Yeri called, Seungmin stopped by before his nightshift, and Jeongin got to me a day or so after when he could make it by the house. He brought me pink frosted cupcakes and couldn’t stop hugging me.

I was going on month four. If it was to end with dinner with my boyfriend, phone calls and hugs from my best friends and pink frosted cupcakes… I wasn’t about to fuck it all up.

A deep, beautiful, lilted laugh from the table confirmed my decision.

I popped the beer back in the box and grabbed two cans of Sprite, then hightailed it over to my gorgeous boy. Pressing a kiss to his head, I cracked his open and slipped it into his hand. Amidst the chatter he glanced at it, smiled, then looked up at me.

This was what we’d bring each other in moments of gratitude. A reminder of all we’ve done, all we’ve been through, all we continue to get through, day by day. An ‘I love you’ of sorts.

Major props to Namjoon for suggesting we implement something special into our lives for occasions where words won’t give it justice. Something only Felix and I would understand.

Bending over halfway, my hair shielding his face from the room that paid no mind to us, I caught his smiling lips in a soft kiss, one that’d last me until the hours of night after our friends have gone, when I can finally take care of him in ways he always deserves.

Turns out he really is a good teacher.

“Got a question for you, better answer now!”

Changbin had a beer in his hand. On his feet, his chair pushed out from behind him, he held it in the air as the table sang back, “Yeah!”

Yeri sat backward, a hand covering her jaw as she laughed at her boyfriend, shamelessly singing along with him. Looking over at her Changbin pointed and shook his head.

“No, no!” he shouted, a shit eating grin on his face. “You’re the one who loves them so bad!” The three boys around the table were goners along with Yeri, unable to resist the energy Changbin filled the room with, their laughter loud and entertained. A smile rested on my lips, I didn’t sing along, but I was enjoying the show.

“Am I original?” Changbin leaned toward Yeri, acquiring his ‘Yeah!’ from the people who actually listened to this song. “Am I the only one?” Another ‘Yeah!’ sounded around the room, and with each word he closed in the space between him and Yeri. Then, he slipped around the back of her chair running a hand through her hair before he popped next to Felix, laying his head on his shoulder as he gave me a funny look. “Am I sexual?”

Raising my brows, my laughter finally cracked through, his aim of the game. I joined in the final ‘Yeah!’ and he shouted with glee. I wasn’t dumb, I knew who the Backstreet Boys were, Felix was obsessed with them much like Yeri was. He loved Kevin Richardson, or whatever his name was, which blew my mind because Nick Carter is right there. Not that I paid attention to it or anything.

“You like this song.” Felix’s smile still had the power to flip my stomach in cartwheels. Changbin hummed from his shoulder and pursed his lips.

“Do not,” I huffed, looking around the table. Jeongin sipped his beer and hummed the rest of the song to himself and Seungmin who took part in tapping the beat with his glass.

Changbin shared a devious look with Felix, Yeri giggling from her chair.

Together they both sang, “Rock your body right!”

Everyone sang, “Backstreets back…”

Lifting my gaze, planting it on my grinning, hopeful boyfriend, I raised my almost empty can and gave them what they wanted. “Alright!”

Felix lurched forward and grabbed onto my arms while Changbin held his up in triumph. “Hyunjin loves the Backstreet Boys!”

“Do not!” I sneered at my best friend, a smile pulling at my lips the entire time. Working his way back to his seat, Changbin finished his beer and shot me a glare.

“Do too, Mr. Nick Carter,” he said.

Seungmin smacked his hands together and laughed. “Are we shocked?” He gestured to Felix and the Aussie blushed. “He’s got a crush on that guy from Titanic, too.”

Felix giggled. “Leonardo DiCaprio.”

“Yeah, him,” Seungmin said, sitting back in his chair, folding his arms over his chest.

Jeongin narrowed his eyes, his attention on me. “Blondes,” he half whispered.

Holding up my hands, feeling my cheeks flush, I looked hurriedly from Felix to my friends in defense. “Whoa, whoa, hold up, I do not have a crush…” Felix took one of my hands in his.

“Darling,” he said, smooth as butter. My walls fell quick. “You have a type. And, you do have a crush on Leonardo DiCaprio. We went to see that movie in theatres three times, and I knew it wasn’t ‘cause it’s your new favorite love story.” He tried to copy my voice and got everyone to laugh.

Locked into his eyes, I nodded. “I do have a crush on Leonardo DiCaprio.” Felix danced a finger around my palm looking at me like a lost puppy.

“You do, don’t you?” he asked, and when I nodded again, our friends answered with laughter.

“That,” Changbin held out his beer toward us, gathering our attention. “I love that, when you do that.”

Jeongin snickered. “You mean when Felix makes him all gushy?” Seungmin and Yeri agreed.

Trying to shake his hands away I sat forward and furrowed my brows. “Hey!” I’d lost the bark in my tone over these last few months. Everyone will tell me it’s a good thing. “I do not get gushy, you jerks! I am still…” Seungmin cleared his throat and pointed to Felix with his eyes. Turning my head, Felix’s eyes were slightly wide, his brows somewhat flipped.

“Keep going,” he said softly. Sitting back, I shook my head a bit and reached for his hand. One graze of his thumb over the boney back of my hand and I was down for the count. Then, a smirk grew on his lips and he threw our friends a look of success. “Twice!” Laughter roared from every corner of the room.

Groaning, I took a hand to my forehead. I couldn’t hide my smile, I knew it, too. He had me wrapped around his finger. Leaning over to him as our friends tossed around the discussion some more, my lips ghosted his ear and I whispered to him a promise of what I’d do to him later if he stopped his teasing. I’d never seen him straighten out faster, his cheeks going pink.

The best part of it all, we were equally wrapped around each other's fingers.

“Who’s got a kid?” Jisoo called out as she rounded the corner into the kitchen from the dimly lit hall. Felix’s grip tightened on my hand ever so slightly, but it didn’t stop my heart from sinking into the floor. The girl wore an innocent smile, unable to read the room as she sat down beside her boyfriend, having only gotten up moments prior to use the restroom. Jeongin threw an arm around her shoulder, pulling her in, whispering paragraphs into her ear.

This poor girl must’ve not been briefed before she walked into the building. Her smile wiped away halfway through Jeongin’s lament.

Changbin held up his beer once more. “Mr. Hwang Hyunjin,” he said with pride. Yeri smacked his bicep, not that her tiny hands had any effect over his insane muscle.

Jisoo lifted a hand to her lips, her eyes going wide. “I’m so sorry,” she said, shaking her head, her gaze darting between Felix and I. Jeongin, lips pulled into his mouth, gave us an apologetic look. Seungmin simply refilled his water and watched everything go down. His eyes were heavy, he’d be leaving shortly if he wasn’t crashing on our couch.

To everyone's surprise, I was calm. Turning my chin to peek at my boyfriend who was studying me, I asked between us, “Jeonghan’s door is open?”

Tracing circles into my palm, Felix poked his tongue through his lips and bobbed his head. “I don’t think you closed it when you put his new clothes in there yesterday.”

The room was my choice. My decision. Everything that went on with it, my choice. I usually keep the door shut. These past few weeks I’ve been keeping it closed unless I’m going in to work on it, or add something, or fix something.

Most of his shelves were stocked now. Clothes, shoes, hats… Anything that made me think of him while I was out, I bought. He’s even got clothes for when he grows up, when he gets bigger. Some of my stuff is folded in his drawers, old clothes from middle school and high school I’d kept in my possession after all this time, just in case.

I never knew what for. I wasn’t sure why I held onto the stuff that could somehow hold meaning until he was born. June 8th, 1997, the day I knew he’d be getting everything I own, everything that meant something to me. He deserved it all.

When I had moved out of my house before college I didn’t think to take anything with me other than what I had, what I owned personally. So many things that belonged to my mother, even my father, were all left behind, and now it's one of my biggest regrets. I have some photos of my childhood, some photos with my mother, but I longed to have something that belonged to her. Either something she wore, or something she loved.

Felix would reassure me and tell me how I am what she loved, and that’s enough, but I had plans to reach out to my family, her family, just one more time. Her younger sister, Jihyo, had to have something. If she did, Jeonghan would one day get that too.

Jeonghan. The name of my grandfather. My mother’s father. Essentially the man who saved me by sending me to college, getting me through years of school. The man who gave me my mother. Another regret… Not spending more time with him, or putting the effort in to see him more. Sometimes I wonder if my mother never got with my father would our story be different. She was raised on and around love, and ended up with him anyway.

Throughout this whole therapy process it’s been fun and somewhat bittersweet to learn how much I am exactly like her.

I don’t want to know what she'd have to say about my situation now.

I feel like I can hear her when the days go quiet.

Get that baby back.

Don’t you leave that girl alone with your child, he’s yours too.

You can do this. You can make it through this.

Fight for him.

There wasn’t a day in my life that I’d ever think about one day becoming a father. It was never in the plan. And, when I didn’t have a plan, it was never a thought. Who in their right mind would want to have a child with me? Two years ago, who would want to have a child with me?

And so, she did.

It was last January, 1997, I was here in the house on the couch sipping on a cocktail beside Felix with the radio playing and the phone rang. I was too tipsy to get up and logically answer the phone, so Felix did it. The call lasted no more than thirty seconds, and he appeared in the doorway to the living room like he’d seen a ghost.

He had told me it was Changbin, and that he had just spoken to Chan. Bahng Chan, Jade’s best friend. He took my glass from my hand and sat next to me, taking my arms in his hold. Chan had spoken with Han, who had spoken to Minho. Jade was pregnant, and she didn’t know who the father was.

Apparently it had taken them a while to get a hold of us, and to this day I don’t know how much of that reigns true. If they hadn’t gone through the grapevine in true Jade and Minho fashion they would’ve gotten to us straight away. Then I learned it had something to do with the both of them not wanting to deal with me. At the time, even through my drunk blindness I could see how immature that was.

A week or so later I met Minho face to face for the first time since he tried to kill me, though he’ll say that wasn’t the case. Jade had accompanied him, and Felix accompanied myself. In a doctor's office, bright, white and sterile, I couldn’t look at her. I didn’t speak two words to her, and it wasn’t because I was hungover. Stunned by the whole idea that this child could belong to me, the one that already made a little bump in her belly… I couldn’t fathom it.

That night Felix almost had to take me back to the emergency room.

And so, he was mine!

Now, one would think she’d take the easy way out here and do what she had to do to be rid of me like I longed to be rid of her. Why would she do this knowing that for eighteen years we’d be connected? We hadn’t seen each other in five months, and sure they weren’t awesome five months, but they were better than they were. Not having to see or deal with one another was the best thing to happen to us.

Not for nothing, her boyfriend tried to take me out.

But, that wasn’t the case!

Things were a mess until he was born, and even after he was born things were a mess. Nothing got better until this summer. Three months ago. After two years of me only hearing things through phone calls she’d have with Felix we were standing side by side in the parking lot of the grocery store down the street from Haven. I was a tad tipsy, it was a bad time. I had bottles in a bag and I was about to get into the driver's seat and take myself home.

I can understand why she’s been the way that she’s been.

Jade tried to hand me over a child support agreement from her lawyer that she pulled out of her front seat. I didn’t even hear one word of her reasoning, or why she was attempting to involve me when she had been going through Felix all this time. In fact, I said that to her. Angry, I yelled. Alcohol in my system didn’t really help my case. I ripped the paper in half and threw it on the ground. Once I was in my car, the bottles in the passenger seat, I swallowed my nausea and broke down. I sat in the parking lot and cried for an hour.

That’s when I realized I was ready to move the fuck on.

To grow the fuck up.

Only three months ago.

Jeonghan had a room, and I took care of it. Felix helped me when I asked and in turn would offer me a hand if it seemed I needed one- which was often. I could count on both hands how many times he’s snuck his way into the sky blue bedroom quietly and wrapped his arms around my waist and laid himself along my back to hold me while I cried.

He read me the instructions when I was forty five minutes deep into building the crib that would flip into a bed whenever Jeonghan grew big enough. Felix left me in the room alone when I started to take the box apart, though I’d catch him tiptoeing by the door every so often. It wasn’t until I was on the floor, hair tied back tight, holding two different pieces of the baby’s furniture that he decided to slip inside and start reading aloud where to put what.

Over the last three months I’ve put together a space for him I was proud of. To do it with Felix made it all the more special.

It’s been over a year. My priorities are straight.

I could be a dad.

I want to be a dad.

Felix would make a great one. Leading by his example, I’m sure I could too.

The house was vacant just shortly after ten o’clock. Seungmin took himself home an hour before everyone else, by the time Changbin was on his seventh song he could barely keep his head up. Thankfully he lived close by or else I’d be offering a ride home. Yeri ushered Changbin into their car before anything by Tupac could come out his mouth.

The poor guy wasn’t over it.

We fear he never will be.

With a kiss on Felix’s and I’s cheeks Yeri took him home, asking us to wish her luck, making sure the rest of her boyfriend's bottles were in his possession before they pulled away. Jeongin did the same while Jisoo held a gentle touch to my arm and spewed endless apologies for her fumble at the dinner table. The sweetest girl, she admitted her ignorance, that things between her and Innie were brand new and that she was trying her best to impress us.

Felix, accompanying Jeongin around the kitchen straightening things up, gathering their case of drinks, shot us a couple smiles. It wasn’t everyday I held up a conversation with someone I didn’t know for longer than a month or so. Jisoo seemed to care, and with how she latched onto Jeongin’s arm and fluttered her lashes toward him when he took to her side, I accepted that she was alright.

“You are in trouble for letting me do those things,” she said to him.

Jeongin, eyes shooting open wide, gestured between her and I. “I didn’t… It’s just that’s his business, I didn’t know… How am I in trouble? I was-”

“No one is in trouble,” I smiled at them both. “She’s cool,” I had said to Jeongin. “If she’s sticking around she can know.” Felix later gently scolded me for potentially beginning a lovers spat between the two. Flashing him a mischievous grin I pulled at his lip with my thumb and kissed him like I’d been longing to all night.

Though it didn’t last long.

We had a kitchen to clean and a house to put back together. Dishes were washed and dried while he sung the goddamned Backstreet Boys to himself, and the floors were swept and the table was wiped while I swallowed my smile, not letting him know how much I really fucking loved hearing him sing the goddamned Backstreet Boys to himself. Dancing around one another, moving in perfect rhythm to reset our lives that were happily disheveled for the evening, we ended up down our hallway in front of Jeonghan’s bedroom. The open door I forgot to close after I put his new clothes away in his drawers.

This was normal.

One of us, usually me, is standing here, staring into the vacant space, wondering when he’d come around to fill it. Live in it. Wondering when I’d be allowed to show it to him. Allowed to bring him here, bring him into our life, teach him, hold him.

She wouldn’t let me have him.

And not one part of me could blame her.

“She doesn’t hear anything you tell her,” I mumbled, leaning into Felix’s touch at my side.

Felix pressed a kiss to my shoulder. “Keep talking.”

“I hear you on the phone,” I continued, gazing at the blue striped sheets on the mattress in the chestnut wood crib. “Leaving messages, even talking to him. Neither of them believe you.”

Taking a deep breath, keeping his hand over my back, Felix said, “A lot has happened. They weren’t here next to you throughout this last year.”

“No, they weren’t,” I spat, looking down at him. “They were playing house with my son.”

“Hyunjin,” Felix said, tone steady. “He’s Jade’s son, too.” He may as well have reached into my chest, grabbed my heart, and squeezed it until it stopped beating. I knew he didn’t mean it. He was the voice of reason, my voice of reason, why I’ve been keeping such a good track record lately. “She’s his mother.”

A sigh fell from my lips, one in relation with a cry. “I wanna be his dad.”

Gripping the fabric of my shirt Felix gave me the tiniest smile, then lured me into our bedroom. “I know, darling,” he whispered.

Moving in the quiet, the peace, we readied ourselves for bed, handsy as ever without a single word spoken as we brushed our teeth and washed our faces. Like clockwork, after I took my hair down, he gave me the little white pill from the tall orange bottle in the medicine cabinet and kissed the back of my hand after I’d taken it. Lacing his fingers in mine he pulled me to the bed and threw the covers back, the two of us cozying up in the center, a plethora of pillows surrounding us now that mine lived here too.

“The last time I spoke with Rachel,” our lawyer we’ve been working with, “She told me that in another month they’d revisit… All of it.” Felix laid himself over my side, his cheek fitting perfectly into the valley where my neck meets my shoulder. “It’s been a month. I’ve been sober longer than that. You’ve told them that.” He tilted his chin to look at me, his eyebrows a bit low. “You told them that, the last time they called. When… Yesterday?”

Felix was our middle man. He had to be our middle man. Jade refused to talk directly with me, but she had to contact us somehow. He’s given them so much advice, so much of our money, and he’s heard updates about Jeonghan that he’d relay to me if I was in a good mood. Curious how she’d keep the child away from me, but then slip things to Felix in a hushed voice as if she was hiding it from her fiance.

“They still have a lot to work through, Hyunjin,” Felix said. “For them it’s been over a year.”

“Okay?!” I huffed. Too harshly I might add, because Felix moved when my chest rose. “A year ago I had a foot in the grave.” He didn’t say anything. Instead, he looked back up at me, and I down at him. “They have a lot to work through,” I sighed.

“They do, give them time.” Felix kissed my shoulder. “You’ve been doing a really, really good job, Hyunjin. Give yourself some credit.”

Three months was good. I felt good. All of the people in my life agreed.

I have been doing a good job.

I just prayed it’d all be worth it.

“You’ve put together his room so that when the time comes you’re prepared,” Felix’s voice fell to a whisper. Gazing down at his loving brown eyes, I couldn’t fight back my smile. “He’s got bath toys waiting for him under the bathroom sink. Sippy cups in the cabinets.”

I was prepared. We were ready. We could do this.

“We need a high chair,” I breathed, lurching forward, turning over so I was facing him.

Felix giggled, the sound painting my cheeks pink. “We’ll get one. We can go this week.” He smoothed a hand over my cheek and drug his thumb beneath my bottom lashes.

“Thursday?”

“Thursday.”

Graco. Graco. Graco.

The aisles stretched on for miles. Felix kept up with my pace at my side, his hands in the pockets of his jeans. Boots squeaking on the scuffed tile of the store's floor, I messed with the long sleeves of my black shirt and darted my eyes across the shelves, dodging the occasional mother with a hoard of children surrounding her.

We’ve nearly circled the entire store, after being in this building only two other times, I had no idea where to go. I wanted the best. Jeonghan had to have the best.

“Y’all need some help?” A woman asked Felix and I as we turned around a corner into an aisle full of bottles and kitchen stuff. Scanning the things hanging along the walls, I sighed, and Felix stepped around me, his sunshine charm overcoming her.

With a soft smile he asked, “Do you happen to carry those Graco high chairs?”

Her short brown bob that curled perfectly beneath her cheerful cheeks bounced with delight as she nodded. “‘Course we do, hon. They’re all anyone wants right now, but you might not find them out here.” She gestured around her. “Let me give you a hand, follow me.” Bustling by, she had to turn her chin almost all the way up to smile at me.

Prime customer service. I wasn’t on the receiving end of an uneasy look. Felix got the smiles, the random extroverts swarming to his side if we were out and about. I usually lingered behind like some kind of shadow until he’d decide whether or not the person was worthy of our time, then he’d pull me into the conversation.

This lady, no older than forty, in a red dress with strappy sandals on her feet didn’t seem to care. Her smile was friendly. She could see me.

“Who’re we looking for?” Asking us questions as we weaved through the aisles toward the back of the store, Felix and I shared a few looks as her curiosity strangled us. “Baby shower gift? Who’s having the little one?”

Approaching a quieter part of the store, I gulped and pressed my hands to my jeans. “For my son,” I said, and my heart leapt out of my chest. A smile pricked my lips as the woman turned with a grin on her cheeks. Felix, looking between us, wore pride on his face. Though I watched him try to hide it.

“How wonderful,” she said. Taking us through a makeshift wall of boxes, she gestured up toward a few Graco high chairs on the top of the piles of other brands, a place only I’d be able to reach. “Thank goodness you’re here,” she laughed, holding her hands up to spot me as I shimmied it off the wobbling towers. Light in my arms, I shifted the box to my hip and shrugged, unsure of what to say.

“Can’t tell you how often he has to do that for me,” Felix laughed, which in turn made the woman laugh as well. “Thank you for the help.”

“No worries,” she said, eyes flickering from Felix to me. “So, where is the little guy?”

Blinking, I glanced around at the other boxes and names of brands that were somewhat familiar to me now, I said, “Probably at home with his mom.”

“Probably,” the woman let out a single laugh. She was trying to make jokes, I knew she was, but that didn’t stop it from making me anxious. “Don’t you know where your son is?” I could hear it in her voice. It was a joke. A joke. She didn’t know what happened. She didn’t know me at all. Felix rubbed a hand over his jaw, his head turning from me to her, waiting.

“Uh,” I stammered, looking away from her as I said, “His mom and I aren’t… together.”

She was unphased. Without missing a beat she said, “Oh, I see, so this is for your place.” Intaking a breath, I nodded my head. Felix crossed his arms over his chest. “Listen, I get it. My sister had a baby with a boy she went to school with. They were both young, yanno? They were a disaster. They couldn’t have one conversation civilly, it was argument city, I swear.” Gulping, electricity sparked in my veins.

As if Felix could feel it, he took a step closer to me all while trying to be polite and listen to this woman's life story. She made herself comfy, leaning against one of the boxes.

“My sister, God bless her, she thinks she’s better than everyone,” she rolled her eyes. “I liked the guy, sure it was unconventional and our mother was mortified, but he was nice. It wasn’t his fault he was swamped with school, trying to work, and now having a child on top of it all. They got married, and he tried so hard, but my sister, she wasn’t having any of it. Poor guy couldn’t hold a job because he was so busy, so she took the kid away from him.”

I couldn’t feel my breath through my lips. “Where is he now?”

“I still see him around from time to time, he’s stayed in the area for the time being,” she shrugged. “He’s doing alright, but I think he’s waiting for her to come back. I saw him a couple of weeks ago, he’s living in Delo. We caught up at the grocery store, he asked me how I was, he asked me how his kid was…”

Felix took a hand through his hair, spinning in a small, slow circle. He wanted this to be over, I could feel the energy coming off of him.

“Did you tell him?” I asked.

“Yeah, but I didn’t have much to say,” she said, adjusting a dangling earring hanging from her left ear. “My sister moved into Tamoe when his daughter was, like, five. She’s dating someone else now, she’s barely talked to any of us, her family, since she moved. Can’t even tell you the amount of guys she’s tried to be with between him and the poor sap she’s got now. He’s got a kid, too. She can barely handle one, can’t wait to see what happens when she’s dealing with two of them.”

“He has no idea, the… the daughter's father?”

She shrugged. “I told him everything. He deserved to know whatever I could give him. That’s his flesh and blood. Like I said, he’s a good guy. A good guy who bad things have happened to.”

My blood ran cold.

“Thank you for this,” Felix cut in, taking the highchair from my arms. The woman gave him a pleasantry in response and propped a hand on her hip. “Ready, darling?” Looking up at me, stepping almost in front of my gaze that had fallen to the floor, empty, Felix tried to smile.

Looking to the woman before turning on my heels, I caught her curious eyes trying to figure us out.

Once we checked out I darted from the store with Felix again trying to keep up with my pace. I could feel the lightning in my veins. Sick to my stomach, I couldn’t stop myself.

“Do we want to stop by Jihyo’s today? We’re closeby, we can head there now and then get lunch somewhere?”

My lips were glued shut.

“She said she’s got clothes and stuff, I know that,” Felix continued, placing the box into the trunk I opened for him. It was a small space, the trunk of the blue sports car I had revived back to life, but thankfully it fit. “Beomgyu’s grown out of everything,” his laugh didn’t make me smile this time, “And, she has toys on toys he doesn’t want anymore.” He looked at me with the sweetest grin. “Toys she said he wants to give to his baby cousin. It’d be nice to go see them, Jungkook was asking for you.” That kid had a bit of my mom in him, too. Jihyo and my mother were almost identical. Seven years between them, they were best friends. Raised as best friends. She never got to meet her nephews. It was up to me to bring her to them, my responsibility to keep that bond there. Unlike my failure with my grandfather, I intended to do my best with Jihyo and her kids, but I didn’t make any promises. Part of me knows that Jihyo knows that.

But, I mean, Beomgyu was adorable. An ankle biter that screamed when he spoke. Jungkook was a cool kid, too, and hearing he was asking for me filled me with some sort of joy. They didn’t have their father around, so it really was up to me to stick around. It wasn’t my intention to fill that role, I didn’t want to act as a father to them, but within these last three months I’ve learned what a huge hole it is that I’m filling for them.

One that I wanted with my own son.

“Please don’t internalize anything that woman was saying,” Felix breathed as we slipped into the car. “I didn’t think we’d get a life story today. Don’t internalize it.”

“I’m not,” I grumbled.

Felix tugged his seatbelt over his chest and shot me a look. “I know that face, Hyunjin.”

Clicking my own belt into place, I started the car and tried to smile at him. The sarcasm was evident. “She could take him.”

“Court won’t let her do that,” Felix said, always ready with the facts that seemed to slip my brain. “She can’t move far away from you. She’s got full custody, but you still have some boundaries.” His voice lowered drastically. “You didn’t give everything up.”

I scoffed. “I was drunk when I gave it all up.”

“And now you’re not,” he added quickly. “Now you can think clearly. That story that lady told us is not you. It’s not going to happen to you.”

“Felix, they’re engaged already!” I snapped, throwing my hands up. “What the fuck do you think happens next! She’s never wanted to stay here, around here. Minho, either. The two of them are probably already thinking about getting on a plane.”

“Take a deep breath,” he said, calm as ever. “Please. Let’s talk this out.”

A scary feeling I didn’t like roiled in my gut. Jade could take him and run. I could lose him forever, and with what the court already knows about me, it wasn’t looking good. My fingers gripped the steering wheel as I backed out of the parking spot and started for the road. Everything Felix was saying was going in one ear and out the other, I couldn’t hold onto any of it.

She was going to take my son.

She was going to take Jeonghan away from me.

“The next time you go to court everything will be revised. All of it.” Felix truly was incredible. His voice never shook. Always level headed, he looked at things realistically. Something I could never do. “They’ll see the progress you’ve made, we’ll bring everything with us, and maybe they’ll reconsider visitation.”

At a stop sign, I waited for pedestrians to cross the street, then mumbled, “Mm, visitation. Good idea.”

I turned the other way, away from our home. Felix sat forward.

“Don’t you dare, you take us home,” he said. “I’ll call her when we get there.” I kept going. None of what he said got through to me. I was driving to Minho’s. “Hyunjin, this is not the way to do this. You’ll put yourself in a deeper hole. You want things to get better, you leave them alone and let your lawyers do their part. But, in order for that to happen, you have to do your part.”

I couldn’t help myself. Blind with sickness, deaf to all worries.

I didn’t even know if anyone would be home, I hadn’t been here in years.

Pulling up into the driveway next to the Range Rover that ruined my life, they were home.

A conversation. I just needed to talk to her.

Felix tried and tried to keep me in the car. But, I couldn’t stop.

Slamming the door shut I hurried for the stairs, but the back door to Minhos flew open before I could get up a single one.

“What the fuck do you want, Hyunjin?” Jade spat, her stance wide at the top of the stairs as if she was trying to block me from barging inside. Looking up at her from the ground, I drug my tongue across my bottom lip and tried to smile.

Three months was a long time. I looked different than the last time she saw me, more aware. She’d be able to tell I was better, doing better.

She looked good. Beautiful, as usual. Her cheeks were a tad fuller, her hair tied back, but still flowing with life, and she wore her pajamas. I’ve interrupted a quiet morning. My heart squeezed. She was glowing. A mother.

Tucking a piece of hair behind my ear, I grabbed onto both railings and lifted a foot to the bottom stair, hoping to appear as casual as possible. She copied me, planting her hands on the railings. Eyebrows low, living right above her bright eyes, she was angry.

“Answer the question,” she spat, her eyes going sharp.

“Not even a hello,” I sighed, feeling the jerk come out of me. Trying to will it away, I kept trying to smile. “You’ve changed.” It fell from my lips before I could stop it.

“I haven’t heard from you in three months, you don’t deserve a hello,” she said. Twisting my brows in confusion, I gave her a look. She’s spoken with Felix weekly. She’s heard about us, about me. “What the fuck do you want, before I call the cops.”

Narrowing my eyes, I tilted my head to the side and whispered, “I want my son.”

A loud, humorless cackle of disbelief escaped her. Tossing her head backward, she sighed heavily and couldn’t hide her fury that manifested as a maniacal grin.

“You’re unbelievable,” she said.

“I want my son,” I said a bit louder, tightening my grip on the posts. She was laughing, and I was totally serious.

“Then you should’ve called the judge,” she threw in my face. “Three months, Hyunjin. Thats a lot of time to miss, you broke the fucking agreement, and now you show up without permission, which is also against the agreement, and demand me to give you my son.”

My son.

She was going to take him.

“Our lawyers alway said that if we could work it out on our own we wouldn’t need to go to court,” I said, confusion laced in my voice. Her fingers dug into the wooden posts.

“I’m dealing with you, I have to go to court,” she grilled. “My son is a year and three months old. He's going to start recognizing who is and isn’t around.”

“That’s why I’m here,” I shrugged. Groaning audibly, she laughed again.

“It’s damaging, Hyunjin,” Jade shook her head. “You come around every few months like he’s a dog who’ll be excited to see you no matter how long you’ve been gone. He's a baby, this shit is psychologically damaging and I won’t let it happen to my son.”

“Our son,” I smized, knowing the words would get under her skin. The jerk was here. If she was going to take him, this is how it would be. “Jeonghan. You named him after my grandfather. My mother’s father.” She hardened her glare and clenched her jaw.

A laugh came from the house, the door behind Jade. A baby’s laugh, Jeonghan’s laugh, my sons laugh. The most beautiful sound I think I’ve ever heard.

He wasn’t in the house alone. Of course he wasn’t, babies couldn’t be left alone. Minho was here. This was his house. Jeonghan was in there, laughing with the guy who walked away from me while I was unconscious on the floor. Because of him.

“Oh, wow, he’s actually home?” I scoffed. “Thought he took any chance he could get to go to work. I heard flirting with customers for tips doesn’t make you much.”

“You should really get your facts straight before you try to piss me off,” she said, firing back quickly, raising her brows. “Where do you get your information from? Minho hasn’t worked at the bar for like six months.” Prodding my cheek with my tongue, I shook his head and glanced away.

He was in there with him.

“Let me have him, I’ll bring him back tomorrow,” I said, shifting only my eyes over to her. The buzzing beneath my skin threatened to bubble over.

She grinned and nodded toward the car. “You even have a carseat? A crib? Bottles? Formula? Maybe a stroller?” Opening my mouth to speak, she cut me right off. “What do you even need him for? You didn’t want him!”

Slamming my fists into the posts, I wanted to scream, and I did.

“What if I want him now, dammit?!”

Horrible idea, really.

The door creaked open behind her, and he came out. With Jeonghan in his arms. A bottle was in his mouth, he was holding it himself all cozy in Minho’s hold, fitting right in the hook of his arm.

“What’s going on?” Minho asked, looking down at me with disgust.

Jeonghan. My baby.

Dark hair brushed over his head. His cheeks were soft, squeezable, and how I longed to get my hands on them. He was awake, alert, his deep brown eyes looking up at Minho, the man who’s been, hopefully, caring for him the last year.

“I don’t appreciate the noise,” Minho nearly growled. “Especially while there’s children present.”

Snapping out of my gaze, I rolled his eyes.

“It’s ten in the fucking morning,” I said, glaring at him.

“Language?” Minho furrowed his brows.

“Please, you live with this one,” I pointed to Jade, “She’s no fucking Mary Poppins. When did you get so soft, Min?”

Titling my head to the side, I smirked. I forced our past out through my glare, reminding him of all he’s done with one singular look in milliseconds.

“A lot changes when you become a father,” Minho narrowed his eyes. “But I don’t need to explain, you already get it, don’t you?”

Stepping up onto the bottom stair, I opened my mouth, ready to unload his life before him and Jade, vocally express what he did to me, because I know the sweetest, most awesome little fun fact.

Jade has no recollection of what he had done to me.

She doesn’t know.

The man holding our son wrapped his hands around my neck, obstructed my fucking airway until I was out cold. Then, from what I’ve heard, Chan grabbed him and took him away. Minho left me there. Chan ended up coming back, that good guy curse, and checked in with Seungmin to make sure I was breathing. Then, he was gone.

Minho left me there.

Jade left me there.

She didn’t know.

The passenger door of the car slammed shut, gathering everyone's attention from the porch.

“Hyunjin,” Felix called out to me. “Let’s go.” He shared a look with Jade, as if he was apologizing to her. My heart began to crack in two, more than it had when Minho brought Jeonghan out to the porch.

“Really?” Jade frowned.

Felix shrugged. “I’m sorry,” he said, giving his head a small shake. “I tried to stop this.”

“Always,” I groaned, rolling my head backward. “You always have to take her side.” Felix took three steps closer to me, folding his arms.

“I do.” Looking back at Jade, his eyes flickered to Jeonghan for a second, a breath corrupting him, then he looked back to Jade. “Y’okay?”

“Be a lot better if I had a warning,” she said. Closing his eyes, Felix shrugged and shook his head again.

“We weren’t coming here,” Felix muttered, sending a glare toward me, but I was grilling him right back. “Let’s go. I told you how to go about this, this isn’t it. I’m driving us home.”

Behind Jade the baby cooed and shifted himself around in Minho’s arms to look where Felix’s voice was coming from. The bottle fell from his lips, Minho catching it quickly before it rolled onto the ground.

Jeonghan lifted a finger and pointed toward Felix, uttering a quiet, “Who?”

It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen.

I could see his whole face now.

God, he was my mom.

He was me.

But, he wore Jade in his face, his shape.

Sharing a look with Minho, she took a breath and said, “That’s Felix.”

“Vee-liss,” Jeonghan tried to repeat, making Minho chuckle and my stomach roll. His inquisitive little eyes scanned his surroundings, and once they found Jade he reached out his arms. “Mama,” he cooed.

Mama.

I felt like melting to the ground.

She scooped him into her arms and swapped her smile for a cold glare when she looked down at me.

He was… everything. I couldn’t take my eyes away from him.

No words could begin to describe the foreign warmth in my chest.

“He's beautiful,” I whispered, not wanting to disturb his peace as he looked around the yard.

Sighing, Jade nodded.

“He looks like you,” I said, pulling my eyes away from the baby for half a second to look up at her.

She scoffed and pulled a silly face. “Not in the slightest.”

I laughed, and Jeonghan searched for me. His big eyes met mine for the first time.

Breath hitching in my throat, I smiled at him.

He lifted a finger to point at me and asked, “Who?”

A lump formed in my throat.

My own flesh and blood.

Jade gulped.

No one seemed to be able to speak aside from the one year old.

“Who?” He asked again, looking to Jade for instruction.

“Jinnie,” she muttered as Jeonghan was about to ask for the third time.

Placing one hand on her shoulder and the other over her heart, Jeonghan looked at me and gave me a once over. I wanted to laugh, but I shoved it away.

“Chi-nny,” Jeonghan said.

“That’s me,” I breathed.

“Chi-nny, well, Mama,” he said, his tone sad, laying his head down on Jade's shoulder.

“Time to go inside,” Minho suggested, smoothing a hand over both of their backs. Eyeing his hand on Jeonghan's back, I furrowed my brows.

“Why?” I asked.

“Jinnie, yell, Mama,” Jade repeated clearly for me to hear, bobbing her head with a sureness.

“What!” I screwed his face up in confusion, raising my voice.

“He remembers you,” she shrugged.

I sucked in a breath. “Remembers… me?”

She rolled her eyes and said, “We were in the parking lot of the grocery store. I was picking up his birthday cake, you were visiting the liquor store next door.” I broke my gaze and looked at the stairs. “It was the first time in a long time I’d caught you, so I tried to give you the paperwork.”

“You took it from her, ripped it to pieces and screamed in her face,” Minho added. “While this one watched from the window.”

Jeonghan turned around to look at Minho, a grin breaking out onto his chubby cheeks. “Dada,” he cooed, holding out a hand toward him.

What?

Whipping my head up in a flash, I burned my eyes into Minho’s.

“Really?” I grit my teeth. “Kid calls you Dada? I’m half of him, and I get Jinnie?”

“Hyunjin,” Felix said, taking three more steps toward the stairs. “Let’s go.”

I took a step, getting closer as I rose on the stairs. Behind Jade, Minho pulled her aside, taking her place at the top of the staircase. His arms fanned out to hold onto the railings, asserting his dominance.

“You don’t deserve that title,” Minho grilled, narrowing his eyes. “And last time I checked, you aren’t listed on the birth certificate, did you forget about that?”

I did. I was drunk.

I shot Jade a glare, Jeonghan watching me from her hip.

“Did you forget the kid’s a product of her cheating on you?” My expression broke out into a grin. “Remember that?” I took another step up the porch, and just before I was eye level with Minho, who’s temper was rising by the millisecond, Felix was grabbing onto my wrist.

Minho’s grip on the railings relaxed, color returning to his knuckles as he said, “You’ve gone soft, Jinnie.” Teasing me with his own words, the nickname, what Jade used to call me, stabbed me in the chest. “Felix wear the pants now?” he said while Felix pulled me down to the grass. Felix hit him with a glare.

“Sorry, Lix,” Minho said softly after a look to Jade, shaking his head.

Felix wrapped an arm around my back and parted his lips to speak, until a car whizzing down the street took the scene. It came to a screeching stop at the curb.

He needs to get that fixed. Chan.

“Wonderful,” I chuckled, grabbing onto Felix.

The car door slammed shut behind him, his expression angry, on defense as he started up the lawn.

Felix sighed in frustration.

“We’re leaving,” he raised his voice, holding a hand up to Chan.

“Damn right you’re leaving,” Chan said, puffing his chest, stopping beside my car.

Jeonghan shouted, “ANNIE!”

Snapping my neck, he was sitting up in Jade’s arms holding his out to Chan. Angry Chan waiting for us by the car, who was here to see angry Minho standing on the porch with my son. Jade was angry, too. They were all so angry.

Felix pulled me to the car. I couldn’t feel my fingers, or my face.

We were leaving, and Jeonghan was staying here with these angry people.

“Let me get the door for ya,” Chan snickered, yanking the passenger door of the sports car open. Felix ignored him.

Gripping the edge of the door, resisting Felix’s attempt to sit me down, I frowned, watching the porch. My baby was up there, and I was leaving him here.

“Darling, in the car, please,” Felix whispered to me. “I promise you, we will fix this. I promise. But, I need you to get in the car.”

“Need some help?” Chan questioned, rounding the door to grab onto my arms, yanking them off of the door.

I snapped.

Tearing my eyes of off my son I pushed Chan away by the chest. The smirk he wore spurred me on. Throwing a hand back, somewhat of a fist, I tossed it toward him, but he caught it, and he laughed.

Flinching, Felix groaned and shoved Chan backward himself with his hip.

“Fuck off!” he shouted at him. “Chan, fuck off!”

Holding his hands up, Chan smized and took two steps back.

“I like this Felix,” he said. “Control your man, yeah? You leave my family alone.”

He got me in the car.

I couldn’t breathe.

Felix got in the car, and took my hand. “Deep breaths.”

Wet hair dangled on my bare shoulders where I sat at the kitchen table with a cup of green tea in front of me. Feet tucked up onto the chair, my arms were wrapped around my sweats, my chin resting on a knee while my gaze rested on the table.

Felix moved about the kitchen, putting dinner together for us to share.

He didn’t sing.

We didn’t talk about what happened. The drive home was silent, aside from my breaths. When we arrived home he helped me out of the car and into the house. We spent too much time on the couch, me buried in his chest, sobbing.

I felt stupid.

It was stupid, no matter what positive affirmation Namjoon or Felix wanted to feed me.

What the fuck was I thinking?

After a shower, I found myself here.

“I’m sorry,” I said, interrupting the peace that had made itself comfortable around us.

Felix glanced up from the counter. “Don’t be,” he said. “You’re allowed to hurt.”

“But…” Sighing, I dropped a leg to the floor and sat up, stretching a hand across the table to hold onto the warm mug of tea. Felix watched me grab it and take a sip.

“Tell me,” he said when I put the mug down, recognizing I’d need help pushing the words out.

“I shouldn’t… Shouldn’t have lost my temper,” I said, meeting his gaze. “I should’ve listened to you. Shouldn’t have gone there, at all.”

Felix pursed his lips, focusing back on his work at the counter. “Do you regret it?”

Thinking to myself, I placed a finger between my teeth and glanced about the room, his house that was turning into ours as the days passed by. I shook my head. “I don’t. Is that horrible?” He didn’t answer, he only encouraged me to keep going with a smile. “I liked it when you used to tell me what I was feeling, and if it was wrong.” Dropping my chin, I shot him a look out my lashes and he laughed.

“You have to tell me, darling,” he shrugged. “I’m not allowed to do that anymore. You know what you’re feeling, you know if it’s wrong. Though…” his voice trailed off, and he danced his gaze upward in thought, “If you care so passionately about something, and you’re fighting for it… I don’t see how it’d be so horrible.”

The smile that found my lips made him roll his eyes. “Thank you.”

He jutted the knife in his hand toward me. “That was not me telling you how to feel.”

“Sure,” I winked, and the knife almost fell to the floor. He caught it, flustered, and brushed the moment off with a gentle laugh.

Standing to my feet, I made it a point to drink more of the tea Felix had made me before I took myself to his side, dragging a finger over the back of his hand that worked the knife. He paused, smiling, and gave me a look over his shoulder. My eyes, glued to his hands, avoided his. Wrapping my other arm around his front, I stood behind him and rested my weight against his back, letting my hand live over his, working with his as one.

Laying my cheek to his hair, I basked in his warmth, allowing my other hand to slip beneath his shirt, resting over his belly, keeping him close to me.

“Twenty seconds,” I whispered, and he stopped moving altogether.

Without another word he had spun around in my arms, slipping his around my shoulders, yanking me into his grasp. His fingers slid into my hair, keeping us pressed cheek to cheek until I dropped my head and buried it into his neck, my hands pressing into the small of his back. I could feel him taking deep breaths, the steady beat of his heart keeping mine in the same rhythm. Soon enough I was breathing in time with him.

Twenty seconds came and went, but we didn’t move.

Not until the phone rang.

Felix expressed his disappointment with a sigh as I pulled away. His brown eyes, shinier now that they were full of tears, gave me the sappiest look.

Tipping my chin down, I placed a finger beneath his and lifted his lips to my own. “I love you,” I whispered, my heart erupting into flames within my chest.

Felix kissed me one more time, smiling. “I love you.”

Leaving him for the phone, the loss of his warmth killing me internally, he turned himself toward the counter to continue his work. A steady hum started to come out of him. I prayed he’d start to sing.

Lifting the phone off the wall opposite Felix, I rested my hip against the counter and pressed it to my ear. “Hello?” I asked, voice more lifted than before as I took in the view of Felix’s backside. A smile found my lips when he began to bop his head to his own voice.

“Hello? Hyunjin?”

The phone nearly slipped from my grip.

“Jade?” I choked out. Felix whirled himself around, eyes wide.

“Yeah, Jinnie, it’s me.” Her voice was quiet, and partially broken. Felix was by my side in seconds with an open hand.

“H-hang on, Felix is here, here, I’ll give-”

“No.” She cut me clean off, stopping me. “I want to talk to you. I need to talk to you.”

~ july 5th, 2021 ~

“You should not have come with me,” I muttered as I pulled my car up to a stone edged curb where dozens of other SUVs were parked. The unnecessarily big house was decorated in pink balloons, streamers and banners alike. Music pumped from the backyard, we could hear it over our radio. An offended sort of laugh came out of my son.

“What are you talking about?” Jeonghan’s eyes bugged out of his head as he yanked off his seatbelt. “I know these people.”

Grinding my teeth I followed suit and took my belt off, shutting the car off and opening my door. Sure enough, a song from the latest popstar at the height of her career poured into the car from the yard full of people. Their chatter could also be heard from here.

“Yeah, but there’s a lot of people,” I narrowed my eyes. Clenching his jaw, his mother came out of him. At least my appearance still reigned superior. Paired with his dark brown hair pulled into a bun on the back of his head, he would forever be my twin. “This is always a toss up.”

Jeonghan pulled his lips tight. “He’s my cousin. I’ve seen this happen before. I’ve had to do this without you before. I’d rather be here with you then have you come alone.”

Taking a breath, I almost had one of those I can’t believe he came from me moments. Felix had taught him so much. I, me, myself, I’ve taught him so much. Even his mother and his stepfather, as much as I still hate to admit it to this day. Looking over my shoulder, taking into account what cars were here and which ones weren’t, I gave him a nod.

“Okay, thank you,” I said. “Just… be you.”

He smiled, his eyes curving upward. “Always,” he said happily, shoving my shoulder.

“Do you think they did this one big enough?” I asked him as we ascended the paved driveway. Giving me a silly look, he laughed.

My boy was always happy.

Now at twenty four, still wanting to hang around both sets of parents, he was happy. He had a girlfriend now, one he brought around occasionally. It was still new, but she was great. I couldn’t wait for the day Felix and I could tell her about Jeonghan’s gay crisis he had at fifteen. At the time it wasn’t funny, but now whenever he brings it up another detail is added that has the potential to cripple every audience. He was unapologetically himself. Very little scared him, and I admired him for that.

“Nothing is ever too big for Sana,” Jeonghan breathed, mounting the grey brick layered steps. Glancing up at the banner that hung in the front door alcove, pink and bright and sparkling, with a ‘Happy Birthday Rose’ in the center, I huffed a laugh.

“Think we’re in the wrong color,” I said quietly. Jeonghan with a hand on the doorknob, pushed the heavy door open and glanced back at me pointing up to the banner. Widening his eyes and his grin, he looked at our matching dark clothes and laughed aloud, the sound echoing as we stepped into the air conditioned home.

Small children we didn’t recognize ran by us without a care, one almost taking my boy out by the knee. Tucking his hands over his chest he stepped closer to me and swallowed another laugh. Shooting him a knowing look we started through the home, large, spacey, echoey, yet full of so much stuff that one had to weave through each room. The tall walls painted white had family photos hanging up, portraits of two forced smiles holding their babies brought into a world where they’d one day succumb to the same fate as my Jeonghan.

It wasn’t a thing yet, but I could feel it.

That poor boy. Not a photo was genuine.

Poor boy, but good man.

I wondered if he’d let me have a conversation with him, too.

Leading Jeonghan into the kitchen where things fell quiet, a pair of hands grabbed my shoulders with an exasperated sigh. Shorter than me, straight hair hung in front of his naturally big eyes. His strung out eyes.

“I didn’t expect you to get here so fast,” Taehyun said, breathless. His fingers dug into the bone of my shoulders. Jeonghan narrowed his eyes, keeping watch over the entire situation. My boy had a sharp brain, he was observant. In moments like this he’d be able to relay every detail back to me once it was over.

Putting my hands over Taehyuns, I took them off of me and returned them to his personal space. “Are you okay?” I asked. He was high, but that was normal. Something else had happened. He was fuming.

“Yeah,” he shrugged, scratching the top of his head, then at his arms. “I’m good. Why?”

“You don’t have to lie to me, Taehyun,” I said, lowering my chin. He laughed, a singular sound, then shrugged. I wasn’t going to get anything out of him. Poor boy couldn’t speak for himself.

“My sister just left,” he sneered, and his jaw set into place.

Right. That.

He gestured behind him. “Beomgyu’s there,” he said. “Bathroom. I can’t get him out.” Jeonghan started for the hall, looking back at us for permission. With a nod I told him he could go. Shifting my eyes back to fidgeting Taehyun who couldn’t make himself comfortable, he said, “It’s getting worse.”

“For who?” I asked inconspicuously, eyeing the way he moved his hands over his skin. “Beomgyu, or you?”

Taehyun’s glare wanted to kill me if the boy could’ve wielded the power. “Him, damn.” He folded his skinny arms over his chest and did his best to stand still. “He was high when he got here, then he started drinking. She showed up, and he was a mess.”

“Did they speak?”

Taehyun narrowed his eyes. “What the fuck do you think?”

He’s lucky his words were ineffective over me. If I was Jeonghan’s age or younger I’d attempt to kick his ass. At least Taehyun didn’t have the strength to choke me unconscious, not in his current state anyway.

“Okay, well did he see the kids? He didn’t do anything, did he?”

Taehyun pursed his lips and shook his head. “He never does. He just watches them.” With a side eye to myself, he muttered, “She had another baby, yanno?”

Knowing what this meant to him, I tilted my head to the side and hummed. “I had no idea they were expecting more.” He rolled his eyes at my words, my insinuations, and laughed. When the smiles calmed down, I caught a glimpse of how it really made him feel. He was torn apart. That only meant the one in the bathroom was equally, if not more heartbroken. “I’m sorry.”

He scrunched his brows and shook his head. “God, no, don’t do that, I mean… I’m fine. It’s fine. If anything it just means she’s-”

“Hey, Dad?” Jeonghan’s voice carried down the hall, echoing in the tall ceilings. He appeared and my blood ran cold. The look on his face coupled with the worry in his tone told me I’d have to step in. I’ve never had to step in for him before. Not when it came to Beomgyu.

I was right, he shouldn't have come with me.

Leaving Taehyun in the kitchen I walked with a purpose, laying a hand on Jeonghan’s shoulder as I passed by him, letting him know that he did his best. The further I went, the louder the cries became. The sobs. The heavy breaths. The murmurs of words that scared me shitless.

Not that I’d ever show it.

Turning into the dim bathroom lit up by the window on the wall, I stopped in the doorway and took a breath. Jeonghan stood behind me, his lips pulled down.

Beomgyu was on the floor, splayed out on the floor, yet curled into himself. He was conscious, he was breathing, but he was saying things I never wanted to hear ever again.

Stepping closer to him, not letting his panicked breath affect my own, I squatted beside him and pushed his shaggy hair from his damp forehead. He was a sweaty mess. A sweaty trembling mess. Taking hold of his arm I yanked up the sleeve and rolled my head back with a groan.

“Beomgyu,” I said gently, placing a hand to his cheek. He stopped mumbling and looked up at me. “You’re gonna come home with me, okay?”

“Home,” he whispered. His empty glare wrecked my heart. “No, you’re gonna take me… back there.”

Keeping my grip on his wrist, I attempted to move him, but he wouldn’t budge. “We’re going to go home. To my house. Felix is there. I brought Jeonghan with me, did you see him?” Gesturing behind me, the boy's eyes followed and I swear a smile tried to light up his face. “Come with us, you’ll feel so much better at home.”

“Better at home,” Beomgyu nodded, his cheek against the tile of the floor. Jeonghan came closer and he watched him.

“Unless you want to stay here and listen to Ariana Grande, and eat pink candy,” he said, and Beomgyu laughed between sobs. “It’s better at our house. I promise. You know that.”

To my surprise, he tried to sit himself up, wobbling back and forth as he did. Once he was somewhat stable, I pulled a rubber band from my wrist and worked his hair backward out of his face, and tied it into place. Yanking the hand towel from the wall beside the sink, sorry Sana, I cleaned him up and adjusted his clothes to where they belonged. He watched me as I did this, his cries having ceased the second he was upright.

“Better?” I asked, placing a hand to his cheek, pinching some life into it. Thinning his lips, he frowned and wrapped his arms around my back, pulling me into a hug. Dropping down onto my knees, I wrapped mine around him and held him. Fingers grabbing my shirt in despair, face down on my chest, I let him cry.

My promise.

Those words I said to myself so many years ago, before I had ever even held Jeonghan in my arms. Beomgyu and Jungkook. They were my responsibility. Even more so now that we only had each other.

I promised.

“I got you,” I whispered to him, drawing my hand in circles over his back. “Not gonna let anything happen to you, Beomie. I promise. We’re gonna help you.”

haven masterlist ✧ talk to me ✧ thank you for reading <3

you do not have permission to copy or translate my works without my consent.

17 notes · View notes

lillit-d · 1 month ago

Text

the same “love”

that is played in childhood.

when he gives rings with lollipops, protects from all, even imagined, misfortunes, and brags about his husband more often than about new toys.

and years later

he's impatiently waiting for him home from work, trying to kill time by reading novels and continuing to have a love for lollipops.

only now there is a wedding ring on his finger.

just a momentary weakness for this concept

#hyunho #skz lee minho #skz lee know #lee minho stray kids #lee know stray kids #lee know #hwang hyunjin #hyunjin #hyunjin stray kids #hyunjin skz #hwan hyunjin #skz minho #minho #lee minho #lee minho skz #hwang hyunjin skz #stray kids #skz #mini fic

6 notes · View notes

marvelous-llama · 1 year ago

Text

Stray Kids recs

<<original book

most of the mentioned works is 18+ NSFW, MINORS DNI

pls don´t hesitate to hmu, if any of mentioned links doesn´t work or you have suggestions for more fics... thank you so much for all the love and comments

one shots

Darling by @hwan-g

Seungmin x fem!reader (wc - 8k) love at first sight, bookshop owner Seungmin - romance, angst, smut it hasn’t stopped raining for weeks. as you enter his life, as you walk out of it. he just needs one chance with you.

Do you think about me? by @hwanghyunjinenthusiast

Seungmin x fem!reader (wc - 3.8k) friends to kinda lovers?, ex boyfriend Chan - fluff?, smut Seungmin is the guy you told your ex-boyfriend not to worry about. Turns out he had reasons to be concerned after all.

August is a Fever by @seungminheart

Seungmin x fem!reader (wc - 12k) friends to lovers, mutual pining, both are kinda idiots - fluff, smut seungmin is the picture of self control around you—the perfect gentleman with no interest in you at all. maybe that is why you are so obsessed with seeing how far you can push him before he breaks. OR, hyunjin is convinced that seungmin is into you, and you are determined to prove him wrong.

eighteen by @soobnny

Seungmin x fem!reader (wc - 19.8k) best friends to lovers, university AU, slow burn - angst, fluff it takes you a while to realize being known is being loved, and kim seungmin just so happens to be an expert in the study of you.

friends. by @tosomeonessomeone

Seungmin x reader (wc- 1.8k) friends to lovers - fluff, suggestive

cinnamon sugar by @temptaetions

Seungmin x fem!reader (wc - 6k) best friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, mutual pining - fluff, smut, angst her lips taste sweet, like cinnamon sugar...she's such a treat.

unmasked by @puppym3

Seungmin x fem!reader (wc - 9.4k) university AU, fake dating - fluff, angst, crack(ish), smut

National Anthem by @seospicybin

Seungmin x fem!reader (wc - 13.6k) enemies to lovers - angst, fluff, smut, hurt/comfort At first, you knew Seungmin as the guy you made out with on a flight home but once the plane landed, you discovered that he's the son of your father's rival candidate for the upcoming election, causing you to be caught between love and loyalty

Ridiculously Beautiful by @seungfl0wer

Seungmin x fem!reader (wc - 1.1k) established relationship - smut

Bet On It by @skzonthebrain

Seungmin x fem!reader (wc - 8.6k) enemies to lovers, academic rivals AU, university AU - angst, smut, fluff

hold my hand by @yaniiiiism

Seungmin x fem!reader (wc - 3.3k) university AU, roommates > fwb > lovers?, unrequired love(ish) - fluff, angst(ish)

series

Break up with your boyfriend, I´m bored & Leave by @hyunniesgirl

Seungmin x fem!reader (wc - 4.5k + 4k) strangers > friends > lovers, mutual pining - major angst, smut, fluff(ish) Seungmin knew what he wanted since the first time he laid eyes on you. The problem is that you have a boyfriend... Actually, that's not a problem for him.

#stray kids #stray kids x reader #stray kids recs #seungmin #skz seungmin #stray kids seungmin #kim seungmin #seungmin x reader #kim seungmin x reader

37 notes · View notes

nobodyknowsmyname · 2 years ago

Text

a silly little list:

my kpop fic recs ! pls lemme know if u have any recommendations <3

_____

most, if not all of these works are NSFW (minors please don't interact) some of these works also contain heavy topics- please read at ur own caution : )

_____

skz :)

-> [rec.] by @chvnnie - minho x reader (smut)

-> LIVE! by @chvnnie - 3RACHA x reader x minho (smut) - part two of [rec.]

-> [23:16] by @matryosika - minho x reader (smut) -> Chocolate And Vanilla by @thevampywolf - bang chan x reader (smut & fluff) -> playing with fire by @straywrds - hyunjin x reader (smut, angst) - series (still in work) -> this whole masterlist by @hyuckvanqel - all of skz x reader + ateez, nct, svt works (smut) + anon thoughts - all the works are amazing, promise! -> Come on Fuck Me Emo Boy by @chvnnie - skz x reader (smut, fluff, angst) - mini series !

-> Zemblanity by @moonflowerchanniesgirl - minho x reader (smut & angst) -> a soft dom minho thought by @hwangcore - minho x reader (smut & fluff)

-> 5:27 pm by @hwangcore - minho x reader (smut) -> Bite me? by @thevampywolf - bang chan x reader (suggestive, fluff) -> By Heart by @charmercharm3r - minho x reader (smut) - fantasy [demon x human] -> TKO by @cb97percent - minho x reader (smut) -> dahlia. by @skzmix - hyunjin x reader (smut) -> a hyunjin thought by @che3tobre4th - hyunjin x reader (smut) -> Red lights by @chvnssecret - hyunjin x reader (smut)

-> My command by @chvssecret - seungmin x reader (smut)

-> WAITING FOR US by @erotichan - hyunjin x reader (smut) -> [02:36] by @seungisms - bang chan x reader (smut) -> TITLE TRACK: RUN AWAY WITH ME by @lotus-dly - bang chan x reader (angst & fluff)

-> . . # the morning after. hj. ˚ ₊ ✧ ! by @lix-ables - hyunjin x reader (smut & fluff) -> [all yours, forever - hyunjin] by @stay-corner - hyunjin x reader (smut & fluff) -> USE ME. by @hwan-g - hyunjin x reader (smut)

-> warmth by @inkybird - hyunjin x reader (smut &fluff)

->[7:06am] by @hyunee1 - hyunjin x reader (smut)

-> orchid. by @skzmix - jeongin x reader (smut)

-> i. harness by @btssmutgalore - lee know x reader (smut)

-> No Face by @thevampywolf - bang chan x reader (suggestive & fluff)

-> Watch Me by @@lorinicole - minho x reader x hyunjin (smut)

->fallingforyou (all over again). by @lix-ables - felix x reader (smut)

->anon prompt by @lix-ables - felix x reader (smut)

-> ILLOGICAL by @chxncinth - bang chan x reader (smut)

-> a party elsewhere. hhj. by @lix-ables - hyunjin x reader (smut)

-> prompt: "shut up!" "why dont you come over here and make me?" by @linoguistics - hyunijn x reader (smut)

->1 0 : 1 1 p m by @karibear - felix x reader (smut)

-> hyunjin + choking by @hynjnhwng - hyunjin x reader (smut)

-> ✰ 𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐮𝐩 𝐬𝐞𝐱 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐬𝐤𝐳. by @cartierbin - ot8 x reader (one shot smut)

-> F&MU by @charmercharm3r - felix x reader (smut & fluff)

-> [02:12 am - chan] by @stay-corner -bang chan x reader (smut)

-> illogical by @chxncinth - bang chan x reader (smut)

-> [03:16 am - chan] by @stay-corner - bang chan x reader (smut)

-> Naive Nature by @ch4nb4ng - bang chan x reader (smut) -> mirrors and lights — by @lix-ables - yang jeongin x reader (smut)

-> chan hard thoughts by @chvnnie - bang chan x reader (smut)

other:

-> ALREADY WON — ☆ by @ihugjakey - jake sim x reader (fluff)

-> NO HANDS | Y.KH by @bakubae - yoon keeho x reader

-> keeho x idol!reader !* by @wonwoosh - yoon keeho x reader (fluff & angst)

-> 2:50 pm // by @bakubae - yoon keeho x reader (smut)

->- “daddy” // s.jy by @lvnarhees - jake sim x reader (smut)

-> after game (m) by @jaeyunsz - jake x reader (smut & fluff)

-> [5:28] by @riboism - honjoong (ateez) x reader (smut)

-> CUM TIL’ YOU CRY : SJY by @tangledbutterflies - jake sim x reader (smut)

-> Reality’s boring by @sup-dallyboy - hongjoong x reader (smut)

series:

-> unrequited

-> unmatched

.｡.:*☆ both the above series are by @jl-micasea-fics and they are absolutely amazing !! one of my absolute favourite pieces i've ever read. (lee know x reader)- contains smut, fluff and heavy angst (see tw's before you read it)

->this whole masterlist

.｡.:*☆ the series (?) above is by @blu-joons-joo and it's absolutely adorable ! literally for all my babies out there who love fluff (and a bit of suggestiveness)- it'll drive u delusional

-> my heart bel♡ngs to daddy

.｡.:*☆this series is by @yunjardi and is SO good !! jake is to DIE FOR and him and the reader together are just so delicious <3

-> by my side

.｡.:*☆this series is by @noramoons and the concept of it is amazing, it's also written really well !! can't wait for the next parts

-> e x p e r i e n c e d

.｡.:*☆this series is by @ballelino who's one of my favourite writers on tumblr! the series is one of the best, along with alot of her others- if you ever get the chance to check out wedding season (lee know x reader) by her aswell : )

-> i. harness & ii.love & iii. play .｡.:*☆ this series is by @btssmutgalore and when i tell you its sheet clenching, panty wetting, eyerolling and neck snapping- dont take it lightly. it's everything ive ever personally wanted and i swear its SO worth the read.

_____

if you have any other recommendations, shoot me a message and i'll be sure to check it out ! enjoy !!

_____

love, froggy

226 notes · View notes

hyunmintae · 6 years ago

Text

Masterlist

Updated: 12/13/2018

Imagines/Drabbles

Others:

Woo Do-Hwan

He so sweet :D

Anyone

Sad

BTS

Namjoon

Daddy Joonie! - Someone calls Namjoon daddy.

Jin

JinJin - You talk about him too much.

Jimin

Cream or cream? - Smut, Jimin is needy and Y/N realizes at the café.

Taehyung

Jealousy -Tae gets jealous of Yoongi

Jungkook

You bit me?? - Y/N keeps bothering Jungkook and he asks her to stop but she refuses

Kookie

Hobi

Yoongi

All

GOT7

BamBam

He Did What? - Black eyes and Bruises.

Cuddles? - Just cuddles..

Jackson

Calming - Jackson has a rough day.

Those who wrote together - Jackson and Y/N team up to write a song, but they get more

Jackson

Mark

Bias Wrecker -Mark learns a lesson -smut

Neglection - Mark and Yugyeom keep fighting and Y/N feels neglected - poly

Love Bugs -Yugyeom and Mark cheer up Y/N

Jaebum

Babygirl - Jaebum takes care of his babygirl.

I just want to help - Jaebum is stressed, so Y/N helps. -smut

The First - Jaebum and Y/N are intimate for the first time - Implied Smut

Jinyoung

Strangers to Lovers - Jinyoung and Y/N don’t get along at first

Youngjae

Yugyeom

Neglection - Yugyeom and Mark keep fighting and Y/N feels neglected - Poly

Love Bugs -Yugyeom and Mark cheer up Y/N

All

Abandoned - Y/N is left behind.

Mall shenanigans - Y/N feels a bit uneasy for some reason on their trip to the mall, and the boys come to her rescue.

Grumpy Kitty - Y/N is grump - Hybrid/Poly

MONSTA X

Hyungwon

Cold Feet - Having cold feet can be fun.

Noona - Hyungwon falls in love.

Anger - Hyungwon pisses Y/N off.

Oblivious - Hyungwon is oblivious to Y/N

Stylist Hyungwon - Hyungwon dyes his Noona’s hair

Minhyuk

Idiot - He regrets his words.

Clingy - Y/n gets clingy after Minhyuk is gone for too long

I licked it, it’s mine - Werewolf!fic

Wonho

Romancing the Nurse - Wonho gets hurt and visits his favorite nurse. - Smut

Daddy Wonho - Something is up with Y/N and it’s not just Wonho’s comment on her eating

Aish, pabo! -Y/N may have fallen asleep in the bath and scared Wonho.

Chastity Cage - Wonho get’s stuck in a Chastity cage, but soon he finds the key after Y/N’s constant teasing. -SMUT

Everlasting - Wonho is a vampire - SMUT

Kihyun

Protective - Y/N gets hurt while playing around with the boys.

Black Eye?! - Y/N tries to hide her bruises

Cupcakes - Y/N attempts to make cupcakes but Kihyun wants something sweeter -implied smut

No touchy - A monbebe with bad intentions upsets Y/N

Blind - Y/N lost her contacts

Jooheon

Forgiveness - Joo Honey gets too close with a fan.

Protector - Jooheon protects Y/N

Trying to stay warm - Y/N and Joo have a little fun while trying to keep warm. - Implied smut

Popcorn - Jooheon and Y/N stay in all day with popcorn and a movie

I.M

Tattoo of love - Changkyun falls for his tattoo/piercing artist.

One Night? - Changkyun wakes up with a wedding ring and Y/N in his bed.

Steaming - A/C goes out, what to do?

You got this, Baby - Y/N and Chankyun welcome their new baby

Shownu

Tattoos -Y/N is into tattoos and Hard Rock, will the boys like her?

Try again - Y/N has a miscarriage and then they try again - Implied smut

Hubby - Y/N doesn’t need a hero, just a husband

All

Personal for myself and a friend

Surprise, Surprise

{P1}

Stray Kids

Chan

Complaint Filled Chan - Chan complains a lot

Good Enough - Y/N doesn’t feel good enough for Felix and Chan - Poly

Jisung

Words are hurtful - Jisung says some hurtful things out of stress and anger

What Scares You? - Jisung, Y/N and Changbin go to a haunted house

Hyunjin

Forget it - Hyunjin says somethings he shouldn’t and loses sight of what it’s important {P1} {P2}

Fallen Angel - Halloween is full of surprises

Reminiscing -Minho, Hyunjin, and Y/N think back on their past ~poly/hybrid

Soft Cuddles and Kisses - Minho, Hyunjin, and Y/N cuddle ~poly/hybrid

Seungmin

Panther Kisses - Y/N comes home to panther kisses

Woojin

Felix

Accident - Hyunjin and Y/N are goofing around and Y/N gets hurt

Good Enough - Y/N doesn’t feel good enough for Felix and Chan - Poly

Minho

For your eyes only - Minho is only sweet to Y/N

Reminiscing -Minho, Hyunjin, and Y/N think back on their past ~poly/hybrid

Soft Cuddles and Kisses - Minho, Hyunjin, and Y/N cuddle ~poly/hybrid

Changbin

What scares you? - Changbin, Han, and Y/N go to a haunted house

Ink Everlasting - Changbin is a tattoo artist and Y/N gets a tattoo by him and this is there story {shortish}

Jeongin

All

Uh Oh - Hyunjin and Y/N get into an argument ~Hybrid/Poly {1st}

Never Apart - On a day out, Y/N seems a dark figure from the past - Hybrid/Poly Spin Off {Second}

Down Days - Y/N is feeling down and the boys take care of her ~Hybrid/Poly {Third} Spin off

Nightmare - The boys comfort Y/N after a nightmare ~Hybrid Poly {Fourth} Spin off

Strays In Malta - Y/N gets disciplined. ~Hybrid/Poly {Fifth} Spin off

Reactions

Taking a bullet - S/O , Little Sister {p1} {p2}

iKON

B.I

Cuddly Hanbin - B.I feels down one day and all he wants is cuddles and love

Dreams - Fluffy

Bobby

Jinhwan

Needy - Jinhwan is a bit needy

Ju-ne

Yunhyeong

Donghyuk

Chanwoo

96 notes · View notes

dandelions-143 · 1 month ago

Text

Kinbaku - Hyunjin & Changbin

Kinktober Masterlist

Word Count: 3937

Warnings: MDNI, 18+ ONLY, bondage, detailed sexual content

"So, what do you think?" Changbin asked, his muscular arms crossed over his broad chest. His dark eyes gleamed with anticipation as he stood beside Hyunjin, who held a length of silky, crimson rope in his slender fingers. You sat on your bed, your hair pulled back in a messy bun, face fresh and bare of makeup. The oversized black sweatshirt you wore, borrowed from Changbin, hung loosely off one shoulder, while Hyunjin's navy boxer shorts peeked out from underneath.

Your gaze flickered between your two lovers, taking in their contrasting appearances. Changbin's stocky, muscular frame was a stark contrast to Hyunjin's tall, lithe figure. The past two years in this polyamorous relationship had been an unexpected journey of love, trust, and discovery. You shifted, sitting up on your knees, the mattress dipping slightly under your weight. Reaching out, you took the rope from Hyunjin, feeling its smooth texture against your palm. "Can you explain this to me again?" you asked, your voice tinged with curiosity and a hint of nervousness.

Hyunjin stepped forward, his long black hair falling gracefully over his forehead. His eyes sparkled with excitement as he began to speak, his melodious voice filling the room. "It's called Kinbaku, a Japanese rope bondage art. The practice is all about the aesthetics of restraint, the interplay of rope against skin, and the intimacy it creates between partners." His fingers brushed against yours as he gestured to the rope. "We thought it might be an interesting way to explore intimacy and trust together, to deepen our connection."

Changbin nodded, his expression softening as he added, "For the first time we would do something very simple. But only if you're comfortable with it, of course. Your wellbeing and consent are the most important things to us." His deep, reassuring voice sent a warm shiver down your spine.

As silence stretched out, your mind raced with possibilities. The idea of being bound—vulnerable yet safe in the hands of your trusted partners—sent a mix of excitement and apprehension coursing through your body. You found yourself both nervous and intrigued, your skin tingling at the thought of the rope's touch. The trust you had built with these two men over the past two years gave you the courage to consider this new experience.

"I... I think I'd like to try it," you said softly, your voice a mix of hesitation and excitement. You looked up at them through your lashes, noting their reactions. Hyunjin's face lit up, his plump lips curving into a radiant smile that reached his eyes. Changbin's expression remained calm, but his eyes softened with understanding, a gentle smile playing at the corners of his mouth. The love and care evident in their gazes reassured you, cementing your decision to explore this new aspect of your relationship together.

Changbin approached, his movements slow and deliberate. He gently took your hands in his, his calloused fingers a stark contrast to your soft skin. His dark eyes locked with yours, filled with a mixture of desire and concern. "We'll go slow," The sincerity in his voice was palpable, reinforcing the trust you had in him.

Hyunjin nodded in agreement, his long, slender fingers already working to unravel the rope. The soft whisper of the silk against his skin was audible in the quiet room. "Let's start with something small," he suggested, his melodious voice low and soothing, almost hypnotic. "Maybe just your wrists, so you can get a feel for it?" His eyes sparkled with excitement, but there was also a gentleness there that put you at ease.

You nodded, your heart racing with a potent mixture of anticipation and nervousness. Slowly, you extended your wrists towards Hyunjin, watching intently as he began to wrap the rope around them with practiced precision. The crimson silk stood out vividly against your skin, the color reminiscent of passion and desire. The sensation of the soft yet firm rope against your skin sent a thrill through your body, a heady mix of vulnerability and excitement coursing through you. Each loop of the rope seemed to heighten your awareness, making you acutely conscious of every point of contact.

As Hyunjin continued to weave the rope, you marveled at the intricate patterns forming on your skin. The knots and twists created a beautiful, almost lace-like design that was both delicate and secure. The contrast of the dark rope against your flesh was mesmerizing, the play of light and shadow accentuating every curve and dip of your wrists. You found yourself relaxing into the experience, your initial nervousness giving way to a sense of calm and trust.

Changbin watched intently, his dark eyes smoldering with barely contained desire. His gaze traced every movement of the rope, each twist and turn, as if etching the scene into his memory. As Hyunjin worked, Changbin's hand found your hair, his fingers gently freeing it from its confines. He watched the lustrous strands cascade over your shoulders before softly stroking them. This gesture, both comforting and sensual, anchored you in the moment while igniting your arousal.

The atmosphere in the room shifted dramatically, charged with an electric tension that seemed to crackle in the air. Each breath felt heavy and deliberate, as if the very oxygen had thickened around you. Hyunjin and Changbin's eyes were locked onto you, their gazes a mesmerizing blend of attentiveness and smoldering desire that made your skin tingle with anticipation.

Hyunjin's usually steady hands trembled slightly as he worked the rope, his long fingers dancing across your skin with a mixture of expertise and barely contained excitement. You could see the pulse point at his neck fluttering rapidly, betraying his heightened state of arousal. Changbin, typically so composed, was visibly affected as well. His strong jaw clenched and unclenched rhythmically, the muscles in his neck taut as his Adam's apple bobbed with each hard swallow. The intensity of their focus on you was both thrilling and slightly overwhelming.

As Hyunjin secured the final knot, the soft whisper of rope against skin seemed to echo in the charged silence of the room. You cautiously flexed your wrists, testing the bonds. The rope embraced your skin snugly, like a firm, possessive caress, without causing any discomfort.

A soft, involuntary gasp escaped your lips as you took in the sight of your bound wrists. The vulnerability you felt was intoxicating, heightening every sensation to an almost unbearable degree. The cool air of the room against your exposed skin, the weight of Hyunjin and Changbin's gazes, the slight restriction of movement - all of it combined to create a heady cocktail of sensations that left you feeling dizzy with arousal.

You looked up at Hyunjin and Changbin, your breath catching in your throat as you met their eyes. Their gazes were dark with desire, pupils dilated and irises barely visible. The raw want you saw there sent a shiver down your spine and ignited a fire low in your belly. A surge of trust and excitement coursed through you, making your heart race and your skin flush with heat.

"I like it..." you whispered, your voice husky and slightly trembling. You licked your suddenly dry lips, noting how both men's eyes followed the movement of your tongue. "I want to keep going." The words seemed to hang in the air, heavy with promise and anticipation. Your eyes moved back and forth between the two men, taking in their reactions. Hyunjin's breath hitched audibly, while Changbin's hands clenched at his sides, as if he was physically restraining himself from reaching out to touch you.

As you shifted slightly, you became acutely aware of the familiar throb intensifying between your legs. The combination of the rope's embrace, your lovers' heated gazes, and your own growing arousal was intoxicating. You could feel your pulse pounding, your breath coming in short, quick pants as the tension in the room continued to build to an almost unbearable level.

Changbin's strong hands moved to your bound wrists, his fingers working deftly to loosen the intricate knots. As the rope fell away, you flexed your fingers, relishing the newfound freedom. The skin where the rope had been felt hypersensitive, tingling with every brush of air.

"Let's get you out of these clothes," Hyunjin murmured, his voice low and husky. Together, he and Changbin began to undress you with reverent care. Changbin's calloused fingers skimmed along your skin as he lifted the oversized sweatshirt over your head, while Hyunjin's long, elegant hands hooked into the waistband of his boxer shorts, slowly sliding them down your legs.

As each piece of clothing was removed, more of your flushed skin was revealed to their hungry gazes. The cool air of the room caused goosebumps to erupt across your newly exposed flesh, your nipples hardening into tight peaks. You shivered, not from cold, but from the intensity of their stares and the anticipation of what was to come.

Now completely bare before them, you felt a heady mix of vulnerability. Your breath quickened as Changbin and Hyunjin's eyes roved over your naked form, their gazes burning with desire. The tension in the room seemed to thicken.

Hyunjin approached with the crimson rope, his eyes dark with desire. With practiced hands, he began to weave intricate patterns across your naked skin. The silk whispered against your flesh as he worked, each knot and loop sending shivers down your spine. He started at your shoulders, the rope crisscrossing your chest in a delicate harness that accentuated your curves.

As Hyunjin focused on his artistry, Changbin's hands roamed your body, his touch igniting sparks of pleasure wherever he caressed. His calloused fingers trailed along your inner thighs, teasingly close to where you ached for him most. He leaned in, his hot breath fanning against your neck as he nipped and sucked at the sensitive skin, leaving a trail of marks that mirrored the rope's path.

The dual sensations of Hyunjin's rope work and Changbin's teasing touches had you writhing, your breath coming in short, sharp gasps. The rope tightened with each movement, a constant reminder of your willing captivity. Hyunjin's fingers brushed against your skin as he worked lower, the rope now encircling your waist and hips in an intricate web of knots and twists.

Changbin's hand finally found its way between your legs, his fingers sliding through your slick folds. You moaned, the sound muffled as he captured your lips in a searing kiss. His touch was expert, alternating between light, teasing strokes and firm, purposeful circles that had you trembling on the edge of release.

As Hyunjin secured the final knot, he stood back to admire his handiwork. The crimson rope stood out starkly against your flushed skin, the intricate patterns transforming your body into a living work of art. Both men's eyes raked over you, their gazes hot enough to burn.

Changbin's hands found your exposed breasts, his fingers expertly massaging and pinching your hardened nipples. The rough pads of his thumbs circled your sensitive peaks, sending jolts of electricity straight to your core. He alternated between gentle caresses and firm squeezes, each touch igniting a new wave of sensation. When he suddenly pinched your nipples between his thumb and forefinger, rolling them with just the right amount of pressure, a gasp escaped your lips. The dual sensations of pleasure and pain sent shockwaves through your body, causing your back to arch as much as the ropes would allow. The crimson bindings tightened across your skin as you moved, adding another layer of sensation to the overwhelming experience. Your flesh tingled where the rope pressed against it, heightening your awareness of every touch, every caress. Changbin's ministrations continued relentlessly, his skilled hands working in tandem to drive you to new heights of pleasure.

Hyunjin's lips curved into a devilish smirk against your heated skin as he nipped gently at your earlobe. The sharp sensation contrasted deliciously with the softness of his lips, sending a jolt of pleasure straight to your core.

A soft moan escapes your lips as you lean into both men, your body trembling with desire. "Please," you whisper, your voice breathy and filled with need. "I want you both so badly." Your eyes flicker between Changbin and Hyunjin, taking in their heated gazes and flushed skin. "Touch me, take me...” you breathe, the words barely audible but charged with raw passion.

"We're just getting started," Hyunjin whispered, his melodic voice now low and gravelly with desire. His hands slid down your body with agonizing slowness, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake. You shivered as his fingertips traced the curve of your waist, the sensation both ticklish and arousing. Finally, his hands came to rest on your hips, his long fingers splaying wide to cover as much skin as possible.

His grip tightened, the pressure just shy of painful, as his hands moved to cup your ass. The possessiveness of his touch sent a jolt of excitement through you. His fingers kneaded the soft flesh, alternating between gentle squeezes and firm grasps. You could feel the slight scrape of his nails against your skin, adding another layer of sensation to the mix. His touch was deliberate, almost claiming, as if he was marking his territory. You knew without a doubt that his ministrations would leave visible evidence of his passion, a thought that only made you wetter.

As he continued his exploration, Hyunjin leaned in close, his hot breath fanning against your ear. "I want to memorize every inch of you," he murmured, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin just below your earlobe. The combination of his words, his touch, and the warmth of his breath sent a shiver down your spine, your body instinctively arching into his hands.

"Lay down," Changbin commanded, his voice deep and authoritative, sending a shiver down your spine. His dark eyes locked onto yours, leaving no room for disobedience. You felt a thrill of anticipation course through you as Hyunjin's long fingers wrapped around your upper arm, steadying you.

Together, they guided you onto your back, their movements a perfect blend of strength and tenderness. Changbin's calloused hands supported your lower back, while Hyunjin cradled your head, his touch feather-light against your scalp. As you reclined, the intricate web of ropes shifted against your skin, creating a symphony of sensations.

New pressure points emerged as the ropes settled into their new configuration. The silk cord tightened across your chest, accentuating the swell of your breasts. Another rope pressed firmly against the small of your back, arching you slightly off the bed. The friction of the moving ropes against your hypersensitive skin sent jolts of pleasure coursing through your body.

A soft gasp escaped your lips as your clit was stimulated by the shifting ropes. You bit down on your lower lip, hard, in an attempt to stifle the moan that threatened to spill out. The metallic taste of blood bloomed on your tongue as your teeth worried at the tender flesh. Your efforts to remain quiet only seemed to intensify the sensations, every suppressed sound reverberating through your body and heightening your arousal.

Your eyes, heavy-lidded with desire, drank in the sight of the two Adonises before you as they began to undress with agonizing slowness. It was an exquisite torture, a visual feast that set your nerves alight and made your core throb with an almost painful need.

Changbin's muscular form was revealed first, each discarded piece of clothing unveiling another masterpiece of sculpted flesh. The soft, warm light of the room played across his skin, casting shadows that accentuated every dip and swell of his powerful physique. His broad shoulders tapering to a narrow waist, the defined V of his lower abdomen drawing your gaze like a magnet.

As he moved, his toned arms rippled hypnotically, each muscle group clearly defined. The strength in his arms was evident as he shed his clothes with controlled, deliberate movements. Veins stood out along his forearms and biceps, a testament to his raw power. His chest, broad and firm, rose and fell with each breath, the movement mesmerizing in its simplicity.

Your mouth watered as your gaze traveled lower, following the trail of dark hair that disappeared beneath the waistband of his underwear. When he finally removed this last barrier, you couldn't help the soft gasp that escaped your lips. His cock stood proud and erect, thick and veined, a drop of pre-cum glistening at the tip.

Hyunjin followed suit, his lithe body moving with a dancer's grace that never failed to captivate you. His long, elegant fingers deftly unbuttoned his shirt, revealing inch by tantalizing inch of his smooth, pale skin. As the fabric slid off his shoulders, it exposed the lean muscles of his arms and the subtle definition of his chest.

His movements were deliberate and sensual as he unzipped his pants, the sound seeming to echo in the charged atmosphere of the room. He hooked his thumbs into the waistband, slowly sliding the garment down his impossibly long legs. The play of light and shadow accentuated the curve of his thighs and the sleek lines of his calves.

As he straightened, now clad only in his underwear, your eyes were drawn to the perfect V of his hips, disappearing beneath the tight fabric. The lean muscles of his torso rippled with each breath, the subtle movement hypnotic in its beauty. When he finally removed the last piece of clothing, it was with a dancer's flourish, his body arching gracefully as he stepped out of the fabric pooled at his feet.

Where Changbin's member was thick and imposing, Hyunjin's was a study in elegant proportions. His cock was long and slender, much like the man himself, with a slight upward curve that promised to hit all the right spots. The shaft was smooth and pale, adorned with delicate veins that stood out against the milky skin. The head was a soft pink, almost pretty in its perfection, tapering gracefully from the shaft. Even at full arousal, there was an artistic quality to Hyunjin's length, as if it had been sculpted rather than grown. It stood proud against his taut abdomen, a testament to both his desire and his inherent grace.

The sight of their naked bodies, bathed in the soft, warm glow of the room, sent a fresh wave of desire coursing through you. Your skin tingled with renewed awareness, every point where the ropes pressed against you feeling like a brand. The contrast between the rough texture of the ropes and the smoothness of their skin as they drew closer was exquisite torture. You lay there, bound and trembling, caught between two Adonises, your body singing with anticipation for what was to come.

As they approached the bed, your body thrummed with anticipation, the ropes seeming to tighten with each shaky breath you took. Changbin positioned himself between your legs, his strong, calloused hands gently parting your thighs. You could feel the roughness of his palms against your soft skin, sending shivers up your spine. Hyunjin moved to kneel beside your head, his long hair falling forward, tickling your cheek. The heat radiating from their bodies and the intensity of their hungry gazes made you feel more exposed and aroused than ever before, your skin tingling with every subtle movement of the ropes against it.

You looked down at Changbin, your eyes drawn to his thick cock. It stood proud and erect, the tip glistening with pre-cum. He teased you mercilessly, running the swollen head along your slick folds, occasionally dipping just inside before withdrawing. Each brush against your sensitive flesh sent sparks of pleasure through your body, eliciting soft whimpers from your parted lips. The contrast of his tanned skin against your own was mesmerizing, and you couldn't tear your eyes away from where your bodies almost joined.

Changbin's fingers joined his cock, spreading your folds and exposing your throbbing clit. He circled it with his thumb, applying just enough pressure to make you gasp. The dual sensations of his thumb on your clit and his cock teasing your entrance had you writhing against your bonds, desperate for more.

Your attention was suddenly drawn upward as Hyunjin positioned himself above you. His veiny length was long and flushed at the tip, mere inches from your mouth. You could see the pulse throbbing in the prominent vein that ran along his shaft, making your mouth water in anticipation. Hyunjin ran his thumb across your bottom lip, tugging it down slightly. The pad of his thumb was soft against your lip, a stark contrast to the hardness of his cock.

As you parted your lips further, inviting him in, a drop of pre-cum beaded at his tip. It fell, landing on your tongue, and the salty-sweet taste made you moan softly. Hyunjin's breath hitched at the sight, his hips jerking slightly, bringing him even closer to your waiting mouth.

Changbin's grip on your thighs tightened, his fingers digging into your flesh with an intensity that bordered on pain, leaving crescent-shaped marks that would surely bruise. The anticipation built as he slowly pushed into you, the thick head of his cock stretching you open. The initial resistance gave way to a delicious burn as he entered, inch by agonizing inch. Your breath caught in your throat, transforming into a low, guttural moan that seemed to come from the very depths of your being.

The sensation of being filled was all-consuming. You could feel every ridge, every vein of his impressive length as it slid deeper inside you. Your walls clenched around him instinctively, pulsing with each beat of your racing heart. The pressure of the ropes against your skin seemed to intensify, adding another layer to the overwhelming sensations coursing through your body. Each subtle movement caused the ropes to shift, creating a delicious friction against your hypersensitive skin.

As if orchestrated, Hyunjin chose that moment to take advantage of your parted lips. His long, elegant fingers tangled in your hair, gently but firmly guiding your head back. The tip of his cock, flushed and glistening with pre-cum, pressed against your lower lip. The musky scent of his arousal filled your nostrils as you darted your tongue out, tasting him for the first time. The flavor was an intoxicating mix of salt and something uniquely Hyunjin - slightly bitter yet oddly sweet.

With a soft groan, Hyunjin eased his length into your mouth. The velvet-smooth skin contrasted beautifully with the hardness beneath as you wrapped your lips around him. Your tongue instinctively traced the prominent vein along the underside of his shaft, eliciting a shudder from him. The weight of him on your tongue, combined with the fullness of Changbin inside you, created a sensory overload that left you dizzy with desire.

The dual sensations of Changbin filling your core and Hyunjin sliding into your mouth sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body. The ropes seemed to tighten with each movement, the intricate patterns pressing into your skin and heightening every sensation. You felt dizzy with desire, your senses overwhelmed by the taste, smell, and feel of your lovers. You moaned around Hyunjin's length, the vibrations causing him to groan softly, his fingers tangling in your hair. Meanwhile, Changbin's thrusts became more intense, each powerful stroke hitting that sweet spot deep inside you. The room filled with the sounds of pleasure - skin against skin, breathless moans, and the creaking of the bed - as they drove you closer to the edge of ecstasy.

The intensity of the sensations overwhelmed you, your body quivering uncontrollably with each precise thrust and tender caress. The ropes seemed to constrict further, their intricate patterns pressing into your flesh, amplifying every minute movement and feather-light touch. The building pressure of your impending orgasm felt like a tsunami of pleasure, threatening to engulf you at any moment, leaving you gasping for air.

Hyunjin's elegant fingers danced across your skin, starting with a gentle massage of your breasts. His touch was both reverent and teasing, his thumbs circling your hardened nipples with deliberate slowness. As his rhythm quickened, his hand snaked its way into your hair, long fingers intertwining with the strands. With a gentle yet firm grip, he tilted your head back, the new angle allowing him to push deeper into your mouth. The weight of his length on your tongue, the taste of his arousal, the slight stretch of your lips around him - all of it sent sparks of pleasure coursing through your body.

Simultaneously, Changbin's pace intensified, his powerful thrusts becoming more forceful and deliberate. You could feel every ridge and vein of his thick cock as he drove deeper into you, the angle allowing him to hit that sweet spot with unerring accuracy. The combination of sensations was almost too much to bear - the ropes creating a delicious friction against your hypersensitive skin, Hyunjin's length sliding in and out of your mouth with increasing urgency, and Changbin's relentless rhythm pushing you closer and closer to the precipice. Your orgasm built steadily, a white-hot coil of pressure winding tighter and tighter in your core, threatening to snap at any moment.

"You're so damn beautiful, y/n," Changbin growled, his voice husky and strained with barely contained lust. His words were punctuated by breathless moans as he gripped your hip with one hand, fingers digging into the soft flesh. His other hand found purchase on a rope bound over your hip, using it for leverage as he drove into you with increased fervor. The slight tugging sensation of the rope, combined with the fullness of him inside you, sent jolts of electricity through your nerves.

"So good... that's it... take it, baby," Hyunjin purred, his dark eyes boring into yours with an intensity that made your heart race. His long, raven hair fell across his face, framing his features in a way that made him look almost otherworldly in his beauty. As he spoke, his free hand slowly trailed up your throat, coming to rest with a gentle yet firm grip. The pressure of his fingers against your pulse points added another layer to the already overwhelming sensations coursing through your body.

Your eyes began to water as the pressure on your throat increased, causing you to gag occasionally around Hyunjin's length. The sensation of choking slightly only seemed to heighten your arousal, your body responding with renewed vigor to every touch and movement. Each time you gagged, your throat constricted around Hyunjin, eliciting deep, guttural moans from him. The sound of your struggle, mixed with their pleasure, filled the room, creating a symphony of erotic noises that only served to intensify the atmosphere.

Suddenly, the rhythm changed. Changbin's relentless pace slowed to a languid, sensual roll of his hips. His thick length dragged against your walls with deliberate slowness, each stroke igniting sparks of pleasure deep within you. His rough hands, which had been gripping your hips with bruising intensity, now roamed your body with a gentleness that belied their strength. Calloused fingers traced the curves of your waist, skimmed over your ribcage, and cupped your breasts with reverent care. His thumbs circled your nipples, teasing them to stiff peaks as he continued his unhurried thrusts.

Simultaneously, Hyunjin's movements in your mouth became equally measured and deliberate. He withdrew slowly, allowing you to feel every inch of his length as it slid across your tongue. When only the tip remained between your lips, he pushed back in with the same torturous slowness. His long fingers, which had been tangled in your hair, now caressed your cheek and jaw with butterfly-light touches. His other hand trailed down your neck, fingertips dancing over your pulse point before coming to rest at the hollow of your throat.

The change in pace was maddening. Where before there had been an urgency driving you towards climax, now there was a slow-burning intensity that threatened to consume you. Every touch, every movement was amplified, sending waves of pleasure coursing through your body. The ropes seemed to tighten and loosen with each breath, adding to the sensory overload. You were caught between two extremes - the aching fullness of Changbin inside you and the tantalizing slide of Hyunjin in your mouth - both driving you to new heights of pleasure with their newfound sensuality.

The overwhelming sensations coursing through your body pushed you closer to the edge. Changbin's deep, husky voice cut through the haze of pleasure, "You're taking us so well, baby. So perfect for us." His words were punctuated by grunts of pleasure as he continued his measured thrusts.

Hyunjin's melodic moans joined the symphony of sounds filling the room. "Look at you, so beautiful," he purred, his voice strained with desire. "Your mouth feels incredible, love."

Their praise washed over you, intensifying the coil of pleasure building in your core. Your body responded eagerly to their words and touches, your pussy clenching around Changbin's thick length, weeping with arousal. Saliva dripped from the corners of your mouth as Hyunjin continued his slow, deliberate pace, the overflow mixing with the tears that had begun to coat your cheeks from the intensity of it all.

The combination of their words, their bodies moving in tandem with yours, and the sensory overload from the ropes and their touches pushed you to new heights of ecstasy. You were a writhing, moaning mess between them, completely lost in the pleasure they were giving you.

Changbin and Hyunjin's movements became more frenzied, their pace picking up dramatically. Changbin's thrusts grew deeper and more forceful, his hips snapping against yours with an urgency that left you breathless. At the same time, Hyunjin's rhythm in your mouth became more erratic, his length sliding in and out with increased speed.

The change in tempo sent shockwaves of pleasure through your body. Every nerve ending seemed to ignite, the sensations building to an almost unbearable intensity. The ropes tightened around you as your body tensed, adding another layer to the overwhelming stimulation.

Without warning, the coil of pleasure in your core snapped. Your orgasm crashed over you like a tidal wave, causing your body to arch and tremble uncontrollably. A loud, muffled cry escaped your lips around Hyunjin's length as waves of ecstasy washed over you. Your inner walls clenched rhythmically around Changbin, your thighs quivering with the force of your release.

As you climaxed, your body's reactions intensified the pleasure for both Changbin and Hyunjin. The pulsing of your inner muscles around Changbin and the vibrations of your moans around Hyunjin drove them wild. Their movements became even more urgent, chasing their own release as they prolonged your intense orgasm.

Your release was messy and unrestrained. A mixture of your arousal and Changbin's pre-cum leaked out around his length, coating your thighs and the sheets beneath you. Saliva dripped from the corners of your mouth as you struggled to contain Hyunjin, your jaw aching pleasurably from the exertion.

The room filled with the sounds of your shared pleasure - your muffled cries, their deep groans, and the wet sounds of your bodies moving together. The scent of sex and sweat permeated the air, creating an intoxicating atmosphere of raw passion and desire.

Suddenly, you felt Changbin's body tense. His muscles rippled under his skin as he thrust deep inside you one last time, his grip on your hips tightening to the point of near-pain. A loud, guttural moan escaped his lips as his release flooded your core. You could feel the pulsing of his cock, his warm essence spilling out of you in copious amounts, coating your thighs and the sheets beneath. Almost simultaneously, Hyunjin's grip on your hair tightened, his long fingers tangling in the strands as he found his own climax. His warm release spilled onto your tongue, the taste salty and slightly bitter. As you struggled to swallow, some of it leaked from the corners of your mouth, adding to the messy scene.

Changbin and Hyunjin gently withdrew from you, their movements slow and deliberate. As they pulled out, you felt a rush of their combined essence trickling down your thighs, warm and sticky. A soft, needy whimper escaped your lips at the sudden emptiness, your body still quivering from the intense experience. Your inner walls clenched around nothing, desperately seeking the fullness they had just lost.

Changbin collapsed on your left, his muscular body glistening with a sheen of sweat that accentuated every curve and dip of his sculpted physique. His chest heaved with each breath, the rise and fall hypnotic as you watched him through half-lidded eyes. On your right, Hyunjin sprawled out, his long, lithe form equally damp with perspiration. His raven hair clung to his forehead, and his plush lips were parted as he panted softly.

The three of you lay there, a tangle of limbs and heated skin. The air was thick with the musky scent of your shared passion, a heady mixture of sweat, arousal, and the distinct smell of sex. Your chests rose and fell in unison as you all struggled to catch your breath. The room echoed with the sound of your collective panting, punctuated by occasional soft moans and sighs as aftershocks of pleasure rippled through your bodies.

The ropes still hugged your body tightly, the intricate patterns pressing into your flushed skin, a constant reminder of the intense experience you had just shared. You could feel the slight ache in your muscles, a delicious soreness that made you smile softly to yourself.

As your breathing slowed, you felt Changbin and Hyunjin's gentle hands caressing your skin. Their touch was both soothing and electrifying, sending little sparks of pleasure through your oversensitized body. Changbin's calloused fingers traced lazy patterns on your thigh, while Hyunjin's long, elegant digits ghosted over the curve of your breast. "Let's get these off you," Changbin said softly, his voice husky and warm. He leaned down, his lips brushing against yours in a tender kiss that contrasted beautifully with the intensity of your earlier encounter.

You could still taste Hyunjin on your tongue as Changbin deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue into your mouth. His kiss was deep and passionate, his tongue exploring every crevice as if trying to memorize the taste of you. As he kissed you, you felt Hyunjin's hands begin to work on untying the intricate knots. His fingers moved with practiced ease, gently loosening the ropes that had held you so securely.

As the ropes loosened, you felt a rush of relief mixed with a lingering sense of pleasure. The blood rushed back into areas where the ropes had restricted flow, causing a tingling sensation that was both uncomfortable and oddly arousing. Your body was hypersensitive, every touch sending shivers through you as your lovers carefully unwound the bindings. They peppered your skin with gentle kisses and caresses, their lips and hands soothing the marks left behind by the ropes.

"So red," Hyunjin murmured, his voice filled with a mixture of concern and admiration. His large hands gently slid over the rope marks that now adorned your skin, tracing the intricate patterns left behind. The coolness of his touch against your heated skin made you shiver. Changbin joined him, his fingers ghosting over the marks with equal care and admiration. The tenderness in their actions contrasted beautifully with the intensity of your earlier encounter, filling you with a warm sense of love and contentment.

As the last of the ropes fell away, you felt a profound sense of vulnerability mixed with an overwhelming feeling of safety in the arms of your lovers. Your skin felt raw and exposed, every nerve ending alive and tingling. Changbin and Hyunjin gathered you close, their bodies forming a protective cocoon around you. Changbin's muscular arm draped over your waist, his hand splayed possessively over your stomach, while Hyunjin's long limbs entwined with yours, his chest pressed against your back. The warmth of their skin against yours was comforting, the gentle rise and fall of their chests lulling you into a state of complete relaxation. You could feel their heartbeats, still slightly elevated, gradually slowing to match yours. The room was quiet now, filled only with the sound of your synchronized breathing and the occasional rustle of sheets as one of you shifted slightly.

In this moment, surrounded by the warmth and love of your two partners, you felt completely and utterly content. The lingering ache in your muscles, the slight soreness between your legs, and the tender marks left by the ropes were all reminders of the intense pleasure you had shared. As you drifted towards sleep, cocooned in the arms of Changbin and Hyunjin, you couldn't help but sigh softly in complete and utter contentment.

Taglist:

@rylea08 @syedazarintasnim @cashtonsbetch @pasaatimonarkin @tzeweiii05 @sincerely-sun @moonchild9350 @athforskz @babigriin @seunmong-in @cookiesandcreammy @rockstarkkami @bangchans-angel @salemluvsmusic @seungmincenteric @kpflyn @iovecb97 @juskz @sadrosessing @fawnpeaks @galaxy4489 @chuuyaobsessed @tirena1 @tsunderelino @kissesmellow21 @whatdoyouwanttocallmefor @nightmarenyxx @simpforleeknaur @ririwhiskers @satosugu4l @mihoonz @redlightsrachaaa @mintymintmint251 @velvetmoonlght @minniesverse @everythingboutkpop @yaorzu-blog

81 notes · View notes