#hux isn’t a petty idiot

[bostarsky]

First Lines Meme

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

I was tagged by @tc-lp and since I don’t really interact that much on tumblr consider yourself tagged if you’re a writer, I don’t know y’all’s blog names😂

1. Werewolf 2: Electric Bogaloo (Kylux, 5k)

“To Hux there’s nothing quite like the rush he gets from walking Kylo down the street.”

2. Should Have Locked the Door (Clydeland, 377 words)

“Usually Clyde would never consider doing something as risky as having sex on the living room couch, but by the time that thought ocurs to him Stensland is already balls deep and the only thought on his mind is how danged good it feels.”

3. Fuck You and Your Poodle (Kylux, 3600 words)

“Hux considers himself a man of particular tastes, his family line holds prestige and his bank is impressive to say the least.”

4. At This Point I’m Praying FOR That Dick (Kylux, 3600 words)

“Ben never meant for it to go this far, whatever this thing he has with Hux is, it should have ended the day he was excommunicated.”

5. God Did NOT Save Me From That Dick (Kylux, 3400 words)

“As dreadful and humiliating an experience as it was, Ben felt no surprise at being put under a magnifying glass by his peers.”

6. The Little Dumbass (Kylux, 22800 words)

“His mother always tells him not to stray too close to where the land dwellers are, but Kylo is curious and confident in his ability to defend himself should he need it.”

7. Who Says Petty Crime Doesn’t Pay? (Kylux, 1200 words)

“A wet nose bumps into Kylo’s shin, a few sniffs following in quick succession, then a reedy little meow.”

8. God Save Me From This Dick (Kylux, 2200 words)

“After that sweltering afternoon in Hux’s house, Ben has been praying for forgiveness.”

9. Charity Work (Kylux, 1900 words)

“It can be discouraging to have countless doors slammed in his face, but Ben is sure in his faith and knows eventually there will be a door that remains open.”

10. Fido, Fishnets, and Body Parts (Kylux, 500 words)

“It didn’t take Hux long to find out that Kylo’s sense of style and his career affects every aspect of his life.”

11. Between a Cock and a Hard Place (Kylux, 3500 words)

““Do you EVER think anything through!” Hux screams at him from about two inches away, spittle spraying Kylo’s face.”

12. Fill me Like a Creampuff (Kylux, 1900 words)

“There are many pros to having a roommate, pros that enable Kylo to live somewhere decent at all.”

13. Oh, To be a Flower in Clyde Logan’s Hair (Clydeland, 500 words)

“Clyde knows about the ongoing challenge amongst his patrons, it’s hard not to when every night he’s bombarded with any number of bad jokes and dumb things from the internet that he doesn’t understand.”

14. The Sound of Rain (Kylux, 1200 words)

“This isn’t exactly what he had in mind when Hux asked him if he wanted to come over so they could get rid of their sexual tension once and for all.”

15. Pink Cadillac (Clydeland, 5600 words)

“Ever since puberty hit and Clyde grew a whole foot in a couple of years, he’s been very aware of his size.”

16. It’s Raining Men (Kylux, 3400 words)

““Hey, Kylo! We’ve got a call for a cat stuck up a tree.””

17. Hook, Line, and Sinker (Clydeland, 850 words)

“When he’d met Stensland Clyde had thought he was odd for a human.”

18. Idiots, Idiots Everywhere (Kylux, 570 words)

““You should kiss Hux.””

19. When Nature Calls (Kylux, 700 words)

“It had started out well enough but Hux should have know that stubbing his toe this morning had been a foreshadowing of more bad luck to come.”

20. Butt I Wanted a Pillow (Kylux, 1670 words)

“The room is immaculate, Hux will give them that much, being that he’s in Las Vegas he almost expected there to be a little ziplock bag of cocaine on the pillow instead of the neatly wrapped chocolate.”

And there we go, all of these, and many more, can be found on my ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BoStarsky/pseuds/BoStarsky/works I chose to stick to my last 20 Kylux and adjacent stories that I wrote on my own just for the sake of consistency. Honestly I still love all of these cause I did write most of them for myself more than anyone else, I just like sharing with the fandom.

As for a favourite opening line I’m not really sure, mostly cause my memory is shit more than anything else. I’ve read so many good fics in this fandom over the years that I’m not sure if I could choose just one anyway.

[ablogcalledrevenge]

Potential (A General Hux x Reader Insert Multi-Chapter Fic, Rated M)

Chapter One

You’re not allowed to meet him; when he comes to the estate to visit your father and brother. Maybe it’s because your family thinks he’s only here to discuss a new position in the First Order for your brother, or maybe it’s because, and you know this is a petty thought, your mother is trying to marry off your sister and you’re prettier than her by a long shot. Granted it isn’t that your sister isn’t pretty, she is, or that she isn’t friendly and sociable and everything an officer’s wife should be. But if your parents think General Hux of the First Order is going to marry your older sister and be content with that, they’re more foolish than you thought.

Honestly, the fact that they think General Hux is just here to discuss a job opening is more than eye opening to their naivety. The First Order is reeling after the destruction of Starkiller; he’s here to beg for funds and nothing more. Perhaps he will have to give your brother a job and marry your sister to get the money and that thought is full of wicked glee. 

You have no reason to dislike the General, technically as a person under the rule of the First Order you should deify him, but you can’t help yourself. There’s something hard about him, so cold and distasteful. He’s so obviously power hungry and so clearly an idiot in the ways he goes about getting it. You won’t deny he’s intelligent and cunning, but he lacks finesse. He doesn’t have quite the right amount of charm to get what he wants. He’s too eager and too military but… 

But there was potential there. He could be great, he could rule them all. He just needed the right person to help him and you knew exactly who that should be.

You could crash their meeting, come striding in and sit yourself down in one of your prettier outfits and steal the attention but subtlety will be the better option here. So you wait, you wait until their meeting is over and General Hux makes his way towards the guest room he’s staying in. There’s a piece of artwork by his room and you stand there looking at it and waiting for him. If you happen to be in a very beautiful gown, then that’s just a coincidence. The pale blue dress is one of your favorites and it’s off the shoulder design accentuates your neck and collarbones and chest while dozens of sewn on flowers add pops of pastel color. Certainly better than the ugly drab thing your sister preferred, trying to instill a feeling of modesty that you knew she didn’t have. Overall the look was just right; nothing too extravagant or risque but enough to hopefully cause a second look.

The sad truth is that you were never important, never truly needed. The spare of a spare and not even a boy to bring in glory. Your parents cared very little for you but still regarded you closely and warily. You could be useful to them someday and therefore you were always watched. They could tell you had ideas but they would be shocked if they knew the extent. You were smart and you had ambitions and it was obvious the way the galaxy was forming. You wanted power and you wanted to be heard and looking at it from an objective standpoint, Hux was the best way to do that. It would be unpleasant to get him to like you, let alone trust you, but you could pull a long con. You could mold him, help him realize his true brilliance, help him get all the factions under control. Starkiller was a setback, you won’t deny it but he was clever and with you behind him, everything you ever wanted would soon be served to you on a platter. With your plans and creativity, you could probably be in charge. Kick out Snoke and Hux and even Kylo Ren and just rule it all. But that was risky, cocky, and far too ambitious for someone like you, coming from nothing. You needed a foothold and that was where Hux came in. He would be very useful if you could just get him underneath you. You also despised wasting things with good skills and connections. Besides, better him the target than you.

You hear him coming before he actually appears, the quick step of his shoes against the stone floors followed by the clank of Stormtrooper armour. He brought bodyguards with him, though he won’t need them here. The only danger to him is your mother’s clear and desperate attempts at matchmaking. He sounds closer and you quickly school your features into ones of pensive thought and admiration like you’re so caught up in the painting you don’t even hear the stomps coming down the hallway.

He turns the corner and you hear the moment he sees you. After what you assume is a moment of composure, he stops and clears his throat. You pretend to startle and turn towards him, hand clutching at your chest. Your eyes widen a little in surprise. 

“Oh forgive me General. I was just lost in my own little world right there. I didn’t mean to stand in the middle of the hallway like that,” You apologize. He nods his head in understanding though his face remains impassive. You’ve got to at least give credit where credit is due. He is extremely handsome. There’s a sharpness to his features that you like, that you’ve always liked if you’re being honest, and his eyes are unfairly green. Finally face to face you can see that he’s taller and broader than you and while he isn’t muscular, there’s a leanness to him that suggests some form of exercise. 

“It’s quite alright. It’s a beautiful piece, I can understand why you would get distracted by it.” He finally says, his voice soft, softer than you thought it could go. Is the General a secret art lover?

“It’s one of my favorites. I always love coming here to look at it.” You say, completely truthful. He could be lying, wanting to seem polite and get you out of the way but a small part of you hopes he isn’t. It will only help your plan if you have things in common.

“You’re (Y/N), yes? Your mother mentioned she had another daughter. Why didn’t you join us during lunch?” He asked, his gaze becoming one of shrewd assessment. You feel your face heat, completely unplanned.

“I am. I wasn’t invited. You’re not supposed to know but I think Mother wants to set you up with my older sister. She’s afraid that having me there would be a distraction.”

He walks past you then and opens the door to his room, standing there with a raised eyebrow. Glancing at the Stormtroopers you realize he wants to continue the conversation but is aware that it might turn into something that requires more privacy. You quickly walk into his room, hiding your smirk as you do so. He’s so sweetly going along with your plan, you’d thank him if it wouldn’t give you away.

He follows you in and closes the door before striding to the small liquor cabinet your father keeps stocked for guests. He pours himself a whiskey, offering you a glass which you decline. You have to play this carefully and you don’t want alcohol to impair you. You also prefer wine over harder spirits. Taking a sip with a pleased hum, he sits down and relaxes. Well maybe not relaxes, he’s too tightly wound to do that but he does recline in the chair and you suppose that’s enough for him.

“I found your sister, and your entire family, to be pleasant and welcoming. Why would you be a distraction?” He finally asks, his tone full of disdainful curiosity. He’s goading you, he wants you to snap and reveal something he can use and… 

A flash of heat runs through you and settles somewhere around your pelvis. General Hux is planning on using you just as much as you’re planning on using him.

“Because I’m better than her.” You say, your eyes flinty and words proud. He smiles at you then, slow and sharklike and you’re positive your answering smile matches his perfectly. 

“I think she was right to be afraid.”

You have to tread carefully here, you’re both playing a game and you want to win. You can’t admit your plan outright but you do need to gauge his interest. He takes another sip of whiskey, his eyes never leaving yours. The setting sun comes through the window and everything gets a touch darker. Neither of you calls out to raise the lights and the hazy quality of the room feels appropriate.

“You’re a very smart man General,” You start, sitting down in a chair opposite him. Your posture is relaxed but the vibroblade you have strapped to your thigh is cool against your skin. You don’t want to use it, but you’re not afraid to. 

“I’ve been told that, yes.” He responds slowly, trying to piece out what you’re getting at. His gaze is calculating and you enjoy it, you’re surprised to realize, you enjoy playing in this match with him.

“And yet, here you are. Begging for handouts and scraps after your failure.” You say harshly. His grip on the crystal glass of whiskey tightens and his mouth thins. You notice his other hand curls into a fist and if he hadn’t been wearing gloves, his nails would probably be digging into the skin.

“If this is your way to get into my good graces, you’re sadly mistaken.” His voice is ice.

“It isn’t. Though I doubt you have good graces to even get.” At that, the ice melts away a little and he smirks again. Raises his glass to you in a mockery of a toast.

“I’ve been told that as well.”

You watch him in silence for a while, both of you thinking and plotting. Does he understand what you want from him? What does he want from you? The anticipation is filling up the room, soon your hands might start to sweat. 

“I don’t think you need to give my brother a job or marry my sister to get money. You’ll get it from the older families easily enough. Just play to their vanity and the glory of the old Empire. You’ll soon have enough funds to build another weapon, hopefully less wasteful and idiotic than Starkiller.”

He looks incensed again and sets his glass down roughly on the table next to his chair. “Starkiller was not idiotic! It was my greatest military achievement to date!”

“Yes, and it only fired once before being destroyed by an old smuggler and an ex-Stormtrooper!” You shoot back, finger pointing in his direction. He snarls but doesn’t respond back.

“I would think knowing the history of the two Death Stars that failed so horrifically, you’d figure that creating a death ray in giant orb would be a bad idea.” You say, on a roll now. You’re saying more than you should but his pinched, red face is making you angry. Your mother would be shocked at your condescending tone but he needed to hear this. He needed to be brought down a peg and you enjoyed the mental visual of him on his knees before you. Then you could raise him up.

“Not to mention the complete waste of life. Five planets General? Surely one would’ve been enough. But now you’ve lost all that extra labour and possible soldiers and trade routes! You can’t rule over people that don’t exist.” He sits up suddenly then, as if hit by a blaster bolt. So much for not revealing your plan right away. This was only part one but you could have been a bit subtler. At least you weren’t yelling, suddenly aware of the Stormtroopers outside the door.

“What a very interesting thing to say. Why should I care about ruling over anyone? Supreme Leader Snoke controls the First Order. My focus is on my troops with their missions and conquests.” He drawls, leaning back once again in his chair and giving you a suspicious smile. He has a spark of hunger in his eyes and it thrills you to see it. It’s not a lustful or possessive hunger but one of pure greed. The look of a starving animal who just found it’s dinner limping in the forest. Your anger leaves you and in it’s place: the heady rush of excitement. 

“I think”, you say slowly, rising up from your chair to stalk over to his. General Hux tilts his head to the side, looking at the way your dress sweeps along your legs. “I think we could be very good friends General.”

Feeling very bold and perhaps stupid, you get into his lap and straddle him. His only reaction is a quick intake of breath through his nose. 

Then he looks up at you, the smile gone from his face but his eyes still so bright and sharp. His hand comes up to clutch at your waist and his grip is bordering on painful. You hold your breath, your heart beating so fast you’re sure he can hear it.

“I think we can do much better than that.”

Chapter Two Coming Soon...

Tagging: @livy1391, @babbushka, @girl-next-door-writes, @renaissance-mama Please let me know if you’d like to be tagged in future chapters!

[what-i-call-men]

Treason is a bitch

Chapter 4

The next day was like heaven for you. Hux was confined to the med bay for a day of healing and you got to run the bridge by yourself. It was easier then Hux made it look. Always stressing and pulling at his hair when you simply just told people to report anything they found out of the ordinary. It was mostly just monitoring.

You went the whole day without any big problems. Kylo even came to join you for a little bit, agreeing that everything was so much more calm with Hux out of the way. You loved the freedom, yet a small part of you missed the uptight ginger and how he bossed everyone around. It added a sense of drama and pettiness to your otherwise boring life.

Once all the bridge members retired to their quarters for the night you found yourself lingering on the bridge. You had stopped into your quarters for a short while to change out of your stiff first order uniform into your slightly less stiff but still somewhat uncomfortable sleep wear.

Wandering towards the front of the bridge and sitting down on a ledge near a window, you looked out to the stars surrounding the ship. Today felt as if you really were lacking excitement. You didn't realize that you actually looked forward to making fun of Hux and annoying the ever living crap out of him by assigning him stupid nicknames every single day.

Your train of thought and longing for excitement came to a halt as the doors to the bridge opened. You turned to see the one person you hated so passionately yet longed to see every day. “I was just checking in to make sure you hadn’t completely ruined my bridge.” Hux said as he walked up to you. He was also in his on sleepwear which was identical to your own, but he had something that looked like light hair or fur dusted onto his own and his normally gelled back hair was messy and fallen to the side.

“Contrary to popular belief Armie, your job is much easier than you make it look,” you teased him, “I could’ve left you behind to die after getting shot and taken this over for good.” He moved to sit on the ledge with you, looking out to the stars, his lanky legs making it awkward for him to sit so low to the ground. He had probably 6 inches on your height, which by your best guess was all in his legs.

“Why didn’t you then?” He paused, causing you to look at him and away from the stars. “If you truly hate me so much then you should’ve just left me.”

You picked at your fingers, drawing your attention away from his striking blue eyes filled with question. “Leaving you could’ve been considered treason and being arrested for treason is a bitch,” You joked, yet it didn’t cause him to laugh. “Who else would I give stupid nicknames to, A? Everyone here respects me too much to be annoyed by my nicknames.”

You finally looked at him, deciding to change the topic before he could question you further. “How is your arm feeling?” You asked as you glanced over the bandage wrapping his upper arm. Slowly, you realized he had more than just a bandage on his arms. Some old looking scars and burns, not self- inflicted but you assumed they were from fighting to something.

“It’s fine,” Hux cut in quickly. “Why are you all of a sudden being civil with me?” Man, that was the question. Honestly, why were you being civil with him? Pausing for a moment, you opened your mouth to speak before your brain completely finished thinking.

“I guess since we have to get married and stupid stuff like that, we might as well try to get along,” your words rolled off your tongue, yet it had caught you off guard completely. “It’d be nice to be friends with someone other than my brother.” You said quietly. You didn’t normally call Kylo your brother nor your friend, yet it felt like he was to you. It was just the title that could put you and him off.

“That’s how you see Kylo? Like a brother? That explains why Snoke wouldn’t want you two to marry.” Hux said and you could swear he smiled. “Honestly, I’m scared to get married to you… Not just because of Snoke or how much you hate me.” Under his breath, he admitted.

“Why? Because you’ll have to share your living quarters and your… Cat?” You asked as you reached forward and gently picked a piece of fur off his shirt. He grinned at the fur of his cat and shook his head and let out a small breath, watching as you dropped the fur onto the ground.

“No, it’s not that. I’m scared of embarrassing myself at the wedding. If we get married we have to dance and I’ve never had the luxury of learning to slow dance.” Hux joked causing a small smile to form on both of your faces.

“Really? I learned how when I was younger and more when I was on T-948. Surprisingly, Ben-... er Kylo knows more than I do.” You thought fondly of him as Hux looked at you questioningly, not hearing Kylo’s real name before. “The people on the planet like to dance when they’re happy and throw many parties that I was invited to. I can teach you.” You said and moved to stand up. You loved dancing when the time called for it. The party’s on T-948 were all so elegant, everyone danced and you honestly loved them all.

Hux raised an eyebrow at you and hesitated. “Quickly, before I change my mind and go back to hating you.” You said and shook your hand a little. He took it and you helped him up, tugging his body closer to yours.

“Assuming that our dance will be a slow one,” You took his arms and set his left hand onto your lower back, taking the right one into your left. “Your one hand will go onto my waist right there and the other is in mine, here.” You said and rested your other hand around the back of his neck.

You moved closer to him, bodies just barely touching. “Now you just sorta sway like this.” You started saying and he waited a second before moving with you. “And we’re going to step and turn like this.” You said turning slowly as you two swayed, beginning to turn slowly.

If any of your workers would have heard that you and Hux were slow dancing in the bridge, all of them would have denied it. Yet, here it was happening. You were looking up at the ginger and him down to you. You both were grinning like idiots as you hummed softly; a song you had heard on T-948 that was slow and one of your favorites that you had heard.

As you moved closer to him, leaning against his shoulder. “A, I want you to know this isn’t going to change anything between us during work. You and I still have to bicker and be annoyed by each other.” You said softly.

“Oh so this isn’t you trying to suck up to me and get more work to do?” He laughed and looked at you as you laughed.

“If it was, would you be upset?” Retaliating, you smirked at him. He shook his head as he grinned. “Armie you have a great smile; I think you should smile more.” You said softly.

“Maybe for you, but I still need to be intimidating.” He muttered and leaned down, glancing to your lips and back to your eyes.

“I don’t think you’re intimidating. I think you’re rather charming.” You mumbled as he moved closer to you, your bodies being pulled against each other.

You closed your eyes, gently pushing his head closer to yours. Half a second before your lips connected you closed your eyes and made the final move, pushing yourself up on you your tiptoes. Your lips connected... and maybe it wasn’t the most romantic, standing in your uniform pajamas in the middle of the night cycle, swaying back and forth to no music on the floor of the bridge, yet it was the most romantic thing you ever experienced.

Pulling away after a few seconds, you kept your eyes closed. “Armitage… would you mind walking me back to my quarters?” You asked softly. “It’s getting late and I wouldn’t want to be a bad partner tomorrow and fall asleep on the job.” You whispered against the small bit of skin showing around his neck. He nodded the slightest bit and gently pulled back to take your hand so he could guide you to the door.

Willingly you followed him to your room through the halls. “I’ll see you in the morning,” he said softly as you drowsily yawned as you punched in the code to your room. “Dream of me.” He said as you smiled and walked through the now open blaster doors. You turned to him and leaned up, kissing his cheek then turning to walk into your room.

That night of sleep you learned more about the General then you ever knew, he willingly let his guard down to your own prying mind, to him it was the ultimate form of trust.

[agoodflyting]

kylux & 13?

I like the way you think, anon.

Prompt: “Ask Me Again”

“For fucks sake, Ren, I’m trying to ask you to marry me.”

There’s a long silence. His mouth hangs open, in the middle of whatever malicious thing he was about to say. The little frown line between his eyes disappears, then reappears again. “… what?”

“Nothing.” Hux snaps, turning on his heel, “Nothing. Forget it.”

Techs and troopers scatter out of the way as he storms back to his quarters. His coat sweeps out behind him like Ren’s idiotic cloak and even that makes him angry. Stupid, this was- what was he thinking even considering it? Marrying Kylo Ren was the worst idea he’d ever had, and that included the time he’d tried to import Ewoks for cheap labor on Starkiller. Sure things had been good between them recently, wonderful even, but it never lasted. Ren always found a way to ruin it, the petty, inconsiderate-

“Hux, wait-”

He can hear Ren’s ridiculous heavy boots on the durasteel behind him. He walks faster.

“Hux.”

Ignore him. Once he gets to his room he can lock the door and get thoroughly drunk and forget the idea to ask Kylo Ren to marry him had ever entered his head.

“You’re gonna make me do it, aren’t you?”

Hux freezes. It isn’t his decision to freeze. One moment he’s mid-step, the next his limbs are stiff, his boots glued to the floor.

The footsteps behind him jog to catch up.

“Let me go right now, Ren” he says, jaw clenched. The pressure holding him in place dissipates. He straightens his uniform out of habit.

“Hux, I’m sorry. I really am. I’m an idiot. I didn’t know…” Ren’s eyes are wide and dark. “Ask me again?”

“Absolutely not. Forget I ever said anything.”

“No, I want you to. Please. Please ask me?”

If he thinks that boyish little smile is going to get him anywhere… he’s absolutely right. Damn him.

“Fine. Marry me. Are you happy now?”

Strong arms creep around his waist, under the coat, and Hux has to dart a glance up and down the hall to make sure they’re not being observed. “Ask me nice,” Ren sing-songs, his sly smile threatening to become a full-blown smirk.

Hux sucks in a deep breath and blows it out through his nose. He was going to submit himself for reconditioning, he really was. Why did he find this attractive?

“Ren, will you marry me?” He barely sounds hateful. It’s the best Ren’s getting.

“Hmm, ask me again.” Ren’s mouth is bare inches away, close enough that Hux can feel warm breath over his lips when he speaks. One of his hands had crept up to the middle of Hux’s back, pinning him close.

“Will you marry-” the rest of the sentence is cut off when Ren kisses him.

“Yes.”

[sortyourlifeoutmate]

Nincompoops of the First Order

In which a jackass rambles about, well, the First Order, mostly. And some TLJ stuff. But mostly the First Order.

It's like, I get why the First Order exists. In a general sense. The new films needed a big, bad enemy to rally a plucky underdog against. What are you going to pick? Something new and outside context that might risk alienating and confouding people - people being notoriously fickle and difficult to please? Something new without TIE Fighters, Stormtroopers or AT-AT's? People love that shit!

So just resurrect the Empire! And give it a dumb new name, whatever.

But wait, isn't the Republic back? Wouldn't they be a little concerned about that? Wouldn't they have spent some years, you know, ensuring that the Empire's powerbase was entirely broken so this sort of shit wouldn't happen?

Nope, no, apparently not.

Reading about it, it has something to do with the Empire setting up shop in the Unknown Regions or the Outer Rim or some such nonsense and from what I remember of the Force Awakens the Republic just didn't seem especially interested in following up on the rumours of these jackbooted thugs coming back again. Which was why instead of, you know, A REPUBLIC ARMY being the ones fighting you 'The Resistance' who had nominal support but nothing really impressive. Hence Underdog.

Practically speaking "We need the Empire and the Rebellion again - make that happen."

Which is, uh, fine. I guess. It works, certainly. The lack of any immediate explanation about Snoke is incredibly galling. The Emperor's existence was understandable because if there is an EVIL EMPIRE it stands to reason there is an EVIL EMPEROR. And if the EVIL EMPEROR has someone like Darth Vader at his beck and call it figures he'd have crazy space magic too, so go nuts. That's fine. He didn't need an explanation. Snoke, however, did. And he didn't get one. And it unlikely to. Which just makes him a fucking bolt from the blue that really, really requires seeing to.

You know how in things sometimes a new character will come in and everyone you're used to will be all like "Oh hey! That guy! We all know that guy! Oh that guy, what a rapscallion!" and you're sitting there like "Uh, what? Who? When? Why? Huh?" It's like that.

Snoke is a significant factor of this major faction involved in the conflict! He is the Supreme Leader! And he just popped out of thin air?! Super powerful and hyper-mysterious? And everyone knows who he is?!

That drives me up the bloody wall.

While I'm on the subject of petty annoyances I'm going to whale on Hux, too.

I don't like Hux. Because he's a frothing, goggle-eyed incompetent who is plain, straight-up bad at his job. The only reason he has any success is that he is on the side with the biggest and mostest guns. His idea of grand strategy is to take all these guns, put them in a heap, and shove them towards whatever problem is confronting him that day. And he fucks it up.

Snoke! You're Supreme Leader! You have lots of people perfectly willing to obey orders that you give! Many of them are probably not massive idiots! Hell, you're an evil overlord - just kill Hux on the spot and replace him! You won't even notice the difference! Except that now things aren't quite as fucked up as they were before.

A buddy of mine floated the idea that Snoke kept Hux around deliberately just to annoy Kylo Ren. Which I can believe, actually.

And oh Phasma. Poor Phasma. Supposedly an initial design for Kylo Ren kept around because they liked the look? Shame they pissed a vaguely interesting character up the wall.

Remember how in the Force Awakens her contributiosn to the plot are A) Betray her own side leading to however deaths and B) Getting thrown in the trash? Sublime. In the Last Jedi she gets a chance to throw down properly! She tanks a blaster bolt like a boss! She, uh, gets smacked down like a chump a minute later and falls into a fire hole.

Wah wah.

Apparently that Chromium armour of hers is made from Palpatine's salvaged yacht? I read that somewhere. Dope as shit, that. Adds nothing to her in the films as no-one says it and she still fails to do anything useful. Which is a damn shame.

So yes. The First Order exists solely because "We need the Empire back, stat!" and they're rubbish.

But what else were they going to do?

[littleststarfighter]

80s Kylux AU -As you walk on by

This is bit of self indulgent post. I was talking on Twitter about how my Kylux 80's AU 'As you walk on by' art here had taken on a life of its own. So I promised to write up the plot I had about it as it spans from the 80's to the 90's. Like in the art it starts in 1996, the era of great music, fun films and frankly bonkers fashion.

Hux joins the school as a transfer from England, right of the back of his father moving his company to the States. Not knowing bugger all about US High School etiquette the snooty, geeky mod lover clashes with surly, new age rocker and general bad boy Ben Solo. It's punch up at first sight. Principal Lei Organa reads the both the riot act. fed up of her son always staring trouble she forces them to either attend detention every day for a month. Or Ben has to show Hux round the school and town. Ben reluctantly chooses the latter, dragging Hux off behind him trying to ignore the taunts of 'friending' the 'posh boy'. They slowly get to know each other and discover there's more to their facade than they think. Hux is mad on sci-fi and engineering, he's always talking about the stars and how one day he'll be up there. Ben loves art and fantasy and slowly they create their own little world. And even more slowly fall in love. Though being the 80's that's not so easy to admit. Ben has a crisis and in a panic asks his friend Phasma to the school dance. Hux is not at all happy and they fall out spectacularly. Ben realises he's an idiot and misses Hux. The night before the Dance he invites Hux to the football field at night. Hux turns up but he's a mess and still mad. Ben begs forgiveness saying he loves Hux. He gives Hux a present and it turns out to be a telescope he'd sold his art equipment to buy. Hux's father broke his last one because he wants Hux to take over his company not waste his time on petty fancies. Hux is over the moon and sees how much Ben really means it. They make up and finally go to the dance together. Dancing to heaven ids a place on earth.

This is where I was to end it but my evil mind took off one what happens next.

Sadly fate isn't to kind to Hux and his ailing father has to go back to England. Hux says he will write, but both are devastated by the serration. Hux gives Ben his telescope to keep safe. When Hux leaves Ben is a mess and signs up to the military. He still writes to Hux but Hux's letters stop.

1996

It's ten years later and Hux is head of his father's company in London after his untimely death. He's grown colder under his father's hand, all of the dreams he had now gone. He's secretly engaged to a man his father approved of, who is just as cold, distant and calculating as Hux believes himself to be. A perfect match. After all Ben stopped writing, why should he care anymore. It's on a fated day when attending a lunch engagement to discuss a new business plan with his fiancé that he meets Ben. Ben's scared, a victim of a bomb attack during desert Storm.  Why he's in London Hux has no idea and once the shock has gone out of his system the rage comes in. It's the same for Ben too and they argue about how each never wrote the other (Hux's father made sure the letters never reached Ben and vice versa. But they don't know that) The fight about forgetting about each other escalates and Ben who suffers from PTSD has an episode that is so bad he is rushed to the hospital.

Hux tries to talk to his fiancé wanting some kind of support but finds none. The man suggest Hux just get over it and they have the company to think about. He tells Hux he knew about the missing letters and that it was for the best. Hux is left in shock that they'd do that to him. But his fiancé insist the company always came first and Hux knew that. He runs out into the rain and it's there in his misery he finds he misses Ben so much. He walks to the hospital and calmly sits next to the sleeping Ben and lets it all come out. Ben is awake and just clutches Hux's hand and says he never forgot about him. They talk and Hux promises to collect Ben the next day to take him home. He goes back to his flat and tells his fiancé he'll be picking Ben up. They argue about how Hux shouldn't see Ben again. And Hux says he just can't leave him like that and his fiancé scoffs and calls him soft. Mocks him over the letters, which he'd seen. Hux tells him to just fuck off out of his life. Turns out things aren't that simple as Hux's father had a contract stipulation that he must marry the man or lose the company. Hux doesn't know what to do, what choice to make. And it's there I'll leave it so as not to spoil the whole thing.  Let's just say his telescope will show up again and Hux helps Ben heal as much as his cold heart must.

I have a little 80s inspo soundtrack here, yes I like cheese XD

Simple Minds - Don't You Forget About Me 

belinda carlisle heaven is a place on earth

a-ha - Take On Me 

joy division love will tear us apart 

[what-i-call-men]

Chapter 4

Chapter 4

The next day was like heaven for you. Hux was confined to the med bay for a day of healing and you got to run the bridge by yourself. It was easier then Hux made it look. Always stressing and pulling at his hair when you simply just told people to report anything they found out of the ordinary. It was mostly just monitoring.

You went the whole day without any big problems. Kylo even came to join you for a little bit, agreeing that everything was so much more calm with Hux out of the way. You loved the freedom, yet a small part of you missed the uptight ginger and how he bossed everyone around. It added a sense of drama and pettiness to your otherwise boring life.

Once all the bridge members retired to their quarters for the night you found yourself lingering on the bridge. You had stopped into your quarters for a short while to change out of your stiff first order uniform into your slightly less stiff but still somewhat uncomfortable sleep wear.

Wandering towards the front of the bridge and sitting down on a ledge near a window, you looked out to the stars surrounding the ship. Today felt as if you really were lacking excitement. You didn't realize that you actually looked forward to making fun of Hux and annoying the ever living crap out of him by assigning him stupid nicknames every single day.

Your train of thought and longing for excitement came to a halt as the doors to the bridge opened. You turned to see the one person you hated so passionately yet longed to see every day. “I was just checking in to make sure you hadn’t completely ruined my bridge.” Hux said as he walked up to you. He was also in his on sleepwear which was identical to your own, but he had something that looked like light hair or fur dusted onto his own and his normally gelled back hair was messy and fallen to the side.

“Contrary to popular belief Armie, your job is much easier than you make it look,” you teased him, “I could’ve left you behind to die after getting shot and taken this over for good.” He moved to sit on the ledge with you, looking out to the stars, his lanky legs making it awkward for him to sit so low to the ground. He had probably 6 inches on your height, which by your best guess was all in his legs.

“Why didn’t you then?” He paused, causing you to look at him and away from the stars. “If you truly hate me so much then you should’ve just left me.”

You picked at your fingers, drawing your attention away from his striking blue eyes filled with question. “Leaving you could’ve been considered treason and being arrested for treason is a bitch,” You joked, yet it didn’t cause him to laugh. “Who else would I give stupid nicknames to, A? Everyone here respects me too much to be annoyed by my nicknames.”

You finally looked at him, deciding to change the topic before he could question you further. “How is your arm feeling?” You asked as you glanced over the bandage wrapping his upper arm. Slowly, you realized he had more than just a bandage on his arms. Some old looking scars and burns, not self- inflicted but you assumed they were from fighting to something.

“It’s fine,” Hux cut in quickly. “Why are you all of a sudden being civil with me?” Man, that was the question. Honestly, why were you being civil with him? Pausing for a moment, you opened your mouth to speak before your brain completely finished thinking.

“I guess since we have to get married and stupid stuff like that, we might as well try to get along,” your words rolled off your tongue, yet it had caught you off guard completely. “It’d be nice to be friends with someone other than my brother.” You said quietly. You didn’t normally call Kylo your brother nor your friend, yet it felt like he was to you. It was just the title that could put you and him off.

“That’s how you see Kylo? Like a brother? That explains why Snoke wouldn’t want you two to marry.” Hux said and you could swear he smiled. “Honestly, I’m scared to get married to you… Not just because of Snoke or how much you hate me.” Under his breath, he admitted.

“Why? Because you’ll have to share your living quarters and your… Cat?” You asked as you reached forward and gently picked a piece of fur off his shirt. He grinned at the fur of his cat and shook his head and let out a small breath, watching as you dropped the fur onto the ground.

“No, it’s not that. I’m scared of embarrassing myself at the wedding. If we get married we have to dance and I’ve never had the luxury of learning to slow dance.” Hux joked causing a small smile to form on both of your faces.

“Really? I learned how when I was younger and more when I was on T-948. Surprisingly, Ben-... er Kylo knows more than I do.” You thought fondly of him as Hux looked at you questioningly, not hearing Kylo’s real name before. “The people on the planet like to dance when they’re happy and throw many parties that I was invited to. I can teach you.” You said and moved to stand up. You loved dancing when the time called for it. The party’s on T-948 were all so elegant, everyone danced and you honestly loved them all.

Hux raised an eyebrow at you and hesitated. “Quickly, before I change my mind and go back to hating you.” You said and shook your hand a little. He took it and you helped him up, tugging his body closer to yours.

“Assuming that our dance will be a slow one,” You took his arms and set his left hand onto your lower back, taking the right one into your left. “Your one hand will go onto my waist right there and the other is in mine, here.” You said and rested your other hand around the back of his neck.

You moved closer to him, bodies just barely touching. “Now you just sorta sway like this.” You started saying and he waited a second before moving with you. “And we’re going to step and turn like this.” You said turning slowly as you two swayed, beginning to turn slowly.

If any of your workers would have heard that you and Hux were slow dancing in the bridge, all of them would have denied it. Yet, here it was happening. You were looking up at the ginger and him down to you. You both were grinning like idiots as you hummed softly; a song you had heard on T-948 that was slow and one of your favorites that you had heard.

As you moved closer to him, leaning against his shoulder. “A, I want you to know this isn’t going to change anything between us during work. You and I still have to bicker and be annoyed by each other.” You said softly.

“Oh so this isn’t you trying to suck up to me and get more work to do?” He laughed and looked at you as you laughed.

“If it was, would you be upset?” Retaliating, you smirked at him. He shook his head as he grinned. “Armie you have a great smile; I think you should smile more.” You said softly.

“Maybe for you, but I still need to be intimidating.” He muttered and leaned down, glancing to your lips and back to your eyes.

“I don’t think you’re intimidating. I think you’re rather charming.” You mumbled as he moved closer to you, your bodies being pulled against each other.

You closed your eyes, gently pushing his head closer to yours. Half a second before your lips connected you closed your eyes and made the final move, pushing yourself up on you your tiptoes. Your lips connected... and maybe it wasn’t the most romantic, standing in your uniform pajamas in the middle of the night cycle, swaying back and forth to no music on the floor of the bridge, yet it was the most romantic thing you ever experienced.

Pulling away after a few seconds, you kept your eyes closed. “Armitage… would you mind walking me back to my quarters?” You asked softly. “It’s getting late and I wouldn’t want to be a bad partner tomorrow and fall asleep on the job.” You whispered against the small bit of skin showing around his neck. He nodded the slightest bit and gently pulled back to take your hand so he could guide you to the door.

Willingly you followed him to your room through the halls. “I’ll see you in the morning,” he said softly as you drowsily yawned as you punched in the code to your room. “Dream of me.” He said as you smiled and walked through the now open blaster doors. You turned to him and leaned up, kissing his cheek then turning to walk into your room.

That night of sleep you learned more about the General then you ever knew, he willingly let his guard down to your own prying mind, to him it was the ultimate form of trust.

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