#hurt!dean wincheser x reader

[jawritter]

Carry On

Chapter 8

Summary: It was just a simple hunt, found on a pie festival. It was supposed to be easy. Something they’d all done one hundred and one times a million. No one could have told Y/N, Dean, and Sam that nothing from that point on would ever be the same again.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader x Sam Winchester

Word Count: 3717

Warnings: Some arguing, some fluff if you know where to look. 

Due to the graphic nature of this fic, and the fact that it will eventually contain Smut. This fic is an 18 + only fic! If you’re under 18 DO NOT read this fic!

A/N: This fic is beta’d by @kazsrm67​​ Thanks so much love! Please do not copy my work! Feedback is golden! I hope you all enjoy this ride with me!

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“This isn’t gonna end well,” Sam huffed as he shouldered Dean’s duffle bag, and turned to stare at Y/N and Dean as she helped him into his flannel and rolled up the sleeves for him. He’d lost so much weight in the few weeks he’d been in the hospital that his clothes looked baggy on him, and he just looked small overall. But Dean’s mind was made up. He was ready to go home.

The doctor had released him to finish his recovery at home since he was moving around some on his own after his trip to the shower, and Dean informed the doctor that he was originally from Kansas and wanted to recover there instead of staying in Ohio. At first, the doctor was reluctant, but with some convincing; he agreed that if Dean kept moving around on his own some, mainly getting up at least once a day and showering or going to the bathroom, and as long as his pain level stayed basically managed, he’d refer his case over to a friend of his that had an office not far from Lawrance. He could take up Dean’s care from there, as well as sending him to a physical therapy center in Lebanon when it was time to move onto that phase of the recovery. 

He did give him strict orders to remain in bed as much as possible; not walking long distances, and absolutely no heavy lifting or strenuous activity whatsoever. If he had to travel long distances, use the wheelchair, if he had to shower, someone needed to be present to help him at all times. Basically, he was bed bound with bathroom privileges.

“Sammy, I appreciate the effort that you and Eileen put into finding me an apartment and all that, I really do. But the doctor said it could take up to a year before I’m back to even being able to walk properly or even think about starting physical therapy. I’m not staying here a fucking year. I wanna go home,” Dean said, his tone leaving little room for argument, but Sam was gonna try anyway, and Y/N was gonna keep her mouth shut as she knelt down in front of Dean to slip his socks on his feet and start to lace up his boots because he refused to wear the pair of flip flops that Sam had brought in. This was not her fight. She was here to help Dean, and if Dean wanted to go home, and the doctor said he could go, then home is where they were going. 

Home, that was a word she had never had before, but Dean had made it very clear, the bunker was now her home too, and that he wanted her there with him. It was a strange feeling. As long as Y/N had been an adult, she’d never had a place to call home. Even though she’d only been there once before, she longed for it now. She wanted it. She wanted a home, and she wanted it with Dean, even though she wasn’t about to admit that outloud and scare him away. Nope, not gonna happen.

“You could at least stay there until your back is healed better,” Sam pressed. “This ride is not going to be fun Dean, it’s going to be excruciating.”

“I can lay down in the back seat while Y/N drives Sam. That’s why I told you to put the pillows back there. I’ve been in excruciating pain since I woke up, so whether I’m here or in my Baby going home to my room, I’m going to be in some form of pain, at least this pain will be worth it.”

“This is a fourteen-hour drive Dean, do you really think you can just—”

“And if I get too uncomfortable, Y/N and I will get a hotel room for the night, but as of right now you standing here wanting to argue with me about it is burning daylight! I’m not a goddamn invalid, and I’m not a child. I’m going home. End of discussion!” Dean shot back before reaching for Y/N to help him stand so that he could lower himself into the waiting wheelchair. 

“Sam,” Eileen butted in, placing a hand on Sam’s shoulder to stop him from turning this into a full on fight. “Dean wants to go home. He’s been through a lot, I think he could make this trip home.”

Sam’s mouth formed a thin line, but he said nothing, just passed Dean’s bag to Y/N and threw his hands up in the air in defeat. 

“Fine,” Sam gave in, before turning to Y/N, “Do you want us to follow you since you’re gonna be driving him all that way?”

“No,” Dean cut in, and Sam looked down at him with narrow eyes, “Y/N’s got me. She’s been here taking care of me this whole time; I think she can handle helping me in and out of the car.”

Sam gave his brother a dead panned look, and Y/N finally decided whether she wanted to or not she was going to have to be part of this argument.

“We’ll be fine Sam; you and Eileen go on ahead and if I have any trouble, I will call you guys. Go get Dean’s room ready and get Miracle home. I’m going to take it slow with him. If we decide to stop, I’ll let you guys know, but I don’t see why we should all have to caravan there and back.”

“Alright,” Sam said with a huff before turning to put his hand on Eileen’s shoulder, “I guess we’ll head out and get Miracle, and then head towards home.”

“You ready to break out of here,” Y/N turned to ask Dean; he nodded stubbornly as she unlocked the chair and Sam held open his door for her to roll his brother out of it and down to the elevators to bring him to his Baby. 

“Yeah, I just wish I was walking out instead of having to be rolled around in this damn chair.”

“Hey,” she said as Sam pushed the button between the shiny silver doors and everyone waited for the ding and green down arrow,  “You’re getting out of here and going home, that’s all that matters. Okay?”

Dean swallowed thickly and nodded as Y/N pushed him inside and the doors closed behind them. 

The tension in the small elevator was almost tangible. Y/N disagreed with Sam in a lot of ways. She understood why he was afraid for Dean to get too far away from this hospital or drive that far away, he had almost lost him for good the night of the hunt, but Y/N did think that he was trying to drive home what Dean couldn’t or shouldn’t do too much. Dean was already struggling mentally; he didn’t need someone telling him he couldn’t do it. If he wanted to, Y/N was willing to get him there within safe limits.  

It also irked her that Sam didn’t trust her to take his brother home. At least, that’s how she felt. She’d been here with him night and day since Dean had gotten hurt. She’d done some things she was sure Sam would not have exactly volunteered to do; like help clean him up after he’d had an accident the night, they took the catheter out. She’d cleaned up vomit. She’d dressed him, and bathed him. She had learned how to dress his wounds in his back. She’d spent hours with the doctors and nurses learning how to give him his medication; learning the exercises needed to be done with his legs until he became more mobile. She’d slept on the couch next to him, at least when she slept, because at first she was afraid to go to sleep, afraid he’d need her and couldn’t wake her up. She never left his side. She never left the hospital while he was there. She had been there with him through it all. She’d surely be there with him through this journey home, and she’d die before putting him in danger or doing anything that would hurt him. 

As the elevator came to a stop at the bottom floor, Dean took a deep breath and pulled his car keys from his pocket and passed them over to her; which she took with slightly trembling hands. She rolled him out to where she’d parked Baby under the breezeway; to make it easier for Dean to get into the bed she had created in the backseat for him.

“Hey Baby,” Dean greeted her as Y/N pushed him up to the back passenger door that the nurse had opened up for him, “Did you miss me?”

The nurse chuckled as she wished them luck as Y/N dropped Dean’s duffle into the front passenger seat, before helping him stabilize himself long enough to stand up and sit down with a whine into the backseat while Sam placed the wheelchair into the top trunk compartment. 

Dean sat there for a moment to catch his breath, his fist gripping Y/N’s arm’s tightly and she wasn’t sure if they were  even going to get out of the parking lot until he relaxed enough for her to help him slide over onto the pillow propped up against the locked door across from him, and rest his legs comfortably on the seat before she draped a blanket over him. 

“All set handsome?” she questioned, and Dean nodded tightly as she crawled back out of the car to shut the door. 

“If you guys need us, just call,” Sam said. “I know Dean doesn’t want us to follow you, but let us know if you have to stop with him for the night, or if you need me to turn around, because I don’t care if I’m already in the driveway I will do it.”

“I got this Sam,” Y/N countered, “he’s gonna be fine. I’ll let you know if we stop for the night.”

Before Sam could protest anymore, Y/N hurried her way around to the driver’s side and slid inside before shutting the door to see Dean looking at her in the rearview mirror. 

“You ready?” She asked as she turned the key and Baby roared to life, causing a few passersby to turn their heads and she smirked to herself; remembering the first time she’d heard her too. She was pretty sure that was the moment she’d fallen in love with Dean, and honestly, had the situation been different, she would have been over the moon to have finally been allowed to drive her. 

“I’m more than ready, let’s put this fucking hunt behind us sweetheart, I wanna go home.”

Dean made it a grand total of one hour before he was asleep soundly in the backseat, more soundly than he had ever slept in the hospital, which really should not have surprised her at all. Baby was more of a home to Dean over the years than anything he’d had; even with his injury, and the discomfort, he felt safe. Safer than he had anywhere else since he’d woken up, and that alone was enough to lull him to sleep. 

Her eyes drifted to him every few minutes, and she was afraid every bump she hit in the road, or even if she turned too hard, she’d hurt him, but he never even flinched, just snored softly in the background with the occasional grunt in his sleep. 

He slept for a good bit of the trip before she pulled over to the nearest fast-food place about four hours into the trip, and he’d woken up for the first time. He still wasn’t eating in the hospital as much as he probably should have been, but much to her surprise he’d eaten all of his burger, and the majority of his fries. 

She thought that maybe, just maybe, he’d be able to make it the whole trip, but about nine hours into the journey she could see the physical discomfort setting in, and she knew they weren't going to make it the whole way in one day.  It wasn’t so much the fact that they were going to have to stop that concerned her; rather the thought that he’d be too sore in the morning and that might delay their return by several days instead of making it in one or two days, which she worried would agitate him more.

Still, she convinced him after about thirty minutes of arguing about it that it would not hurt him to stop and sleep at a hotel room for the night, and she was almost convinced that he was afraid she’d turn around and take him back to the hospital, but she wouldn't do that, not unless it was really necessary. She’d already seen him relax too much, seen too much improvement in him. It would take something really drastic to take him back now. 

“Just a few more steps Dean,” she coaxed him as she shuffled him towards the bed, and Dean nodded but didn’t really make much of a sound other than a tired grunt as she helped lower him onto the bed. 

Granted, she didn’t exactly rent a roach motel, and mostly because she was afraid of infection and things he might be exposed to with a wound. She wanted something clean, and something he could shower in. The nicer motels usually had handicap accessible rooms, which is just what she was lucky enough to get. 

“Fuck,” he groaned as he worked to stretch himself out on the bed, slapping her hand away as he did so, “Why the hell am I still so fucking tired? All I’ve done is ride in the back of a car?”

“I personally think you did pretty damn good,” Y/N countered. “In fact, you went a lot further today than I expected you too. Give yourself some credit Dean, this is the first time you’ve been out of the hospital, and you just made a fucking nine hour ride all the way here, I’d say that’s pretty fucking impressive.”

Dean just shook his head, completely unconvinced. 

“I’m never gonna get used to this,” he admitted, watching as she took his shoes and socks off of him with irritation clear on his face. “I can’t even take my own Goddamn shoes off.”

“Maybe not, but you did get yourself in and out of the car today several times with little to no help. You’re going to the bathroom on your own. Most importantly, you’re sitting up in the bed right now being extremely stubborn, when you could be dead. It’s gotten a lot better Dean, and it WILL get better. You just have to give yourself some time. Stop being so hard on yourself.”

Dean didn’t argue with her, but she could see he was still pretty down at the moment as she worked to help him out of his jeans and shirts. This was the hardest part of it all. Knowing what he could do, and no longer could; what he wanted to do, and no longer could. It was horrible. 

“Wanna try out the shower tonight, or in the morning before we hit the road again?” she tried to change the subject, and he looked towards the bathroom with his lower lip between his teeth for a moment, debating. 

“I mean, I didn’t do anything to get really dirty, all I did was ride in the back of the car. I think I’d rather wait until the morning to take one so I can get in the car and make the rest of the journey a little more relaxed, maybe not as bound up in Jeans and shit either, just put some sweats on me and an old shirt. I think that would help.”

She nodded in agreement, and looked around the room, at the couch that lay within eye shot of the queen-sized bed Dean was stretched out on, before grabbing the pillows that were next to him, as well as an extra blanket she had brought in from the bag to make her bed on the couch. She had hoped they would have a double queen handicap available, but there was no such luck. She’d slept on the couch for this long, one more night wasn’t going to kill her. 

“What are you doing?” Dean questioned, reaching for her arm and stopping her in her tracks. She furrowed her brows at him in confusion before pointing towards the small couch again with her free hand. 

“Going to make my bed,” Y/N said as if it should have been something that was obvious. 

“Uhm, you’re not sleeping on that,” Dean said, and continued to stare at him in confusion. 

“Sooo, where am I supposed to sleep? The floor?”

“No! God Y/N/N, this is a fucking queen-sized bed, get your ass in here and stop being so fucking stubborn. I mean, you’re gonna have to share a bed with me when we get home. It’s a long walk to the bathroom from my room, and I don’t think I’d be able to make it alone if I needed something right away. I told you sweetheart, I’m gonna need you close.”

There was something in his eyes, something that if she didn’t know better, she would have categorized as fear. But that was impossible, Dean Winchester feared nothing, and in the time she’d known them, there was not a chance in hell that she would have thought he would let it show if he did. There was a vulnerability there, one that almost knocked her on her ass.

“Okay, you’re right,” Y/N agreed, and Dean sighed as he let go of her arm and she placed the pillows back on the bed next to him. “I just… I guess I don’t really know what my boundaries are, you know, when it comes between me and you. I guess we weren’t exactly close before this, and I don’t want to do anything that might make you uncomfortable, or be something that you don’t want me to do.”

Dean reached for her hand again, and this time Y/N sat on the bed next to him and watched as he twirled the ring on her finger around, examining it closely. 

“I get what you’re saying, and I appreciate that, but honey, you’ve seen more of me and seen more of the worst parts of me than anyone has; including Sam. Sure, we weren’t ‘close’, but I… I wanted us to be closer. I know it’s too little too late, and I know, the likelihood of me being the man I was is almost non-existent, but I did want more. I wanted to get to know you. I wanted things to, I don’t, I’m not good with words or expressions, but I wanted us to… maybe be an ‘US’, and not just friends before I ended up this way. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is, that there really are no boundaries you can cross with me. I know I can’t… I don’t really have anything to contribute to an actual relationship, but I still want you as close to me as you’re willing to get, so there really is no boundaries there. At least, not for me.”

“Dean,” she managed to get around the huge lump that had suddenly formed in her throat as she placed a gentle hand to the side of his face, and fuck if she didn’t almost cry as soon as he leaned into her touch. She was dumb struck, and she almost didn’t believe him, but there was something deep, deep down that told her Dean wasn’t just saying that for her to just stay there with him, in fear she’d leave him alone, but he really did mean it. 

“Dean, you have no idea how much I’d love for there to be an ‘us’, and that I want to be close to you. I’ve always wanted to be close to you. This horrible, fucked up situation doesn’t change that. So what, you can’t hunt anymore. What if I told you I’m sick of fucking hunting anyway?! I’m sick of all the horrible shit we had to face every day. I don’t care that you might have a physical handicap now, or even for the rest of your life. That’s not why I care about you. That’s not why I’m here.”

Dean bit down hard on his lip and looked away from her as he tried to blink back the sudden moisture in his eyes. 

“But it… It might be a really long time, before we can… before I can—”

“Then it will just be a long time,” Y/N cut in. “Sex isn’t everything Dean.”

“I know,” Dean admitted before swallowing hard, and looking back down at his lap. 

“Do you really mean it?” he questioned. “Do you really want to try? I know this isn’t the way I had planned to start things off with us. I had actually planned to see if I could talk you into driving  out to the coast with me, maybe spend some time on the beach or something… I would have never guess…”

“I mean it Dean, I really do.”

Dean took a heavy breath before reaching for her, and she slid under the cover next to him, as gently as possible, and slowly she laid her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her. If the man could have melted in that moment she swore he would have done it. He was so touch starved. Which she never really noticed before, maybe because he didn’t want her to see it.

“I’m so tired,” Dean voiced after a long time of her just laying there with him, her fingers tracing the freckles on his bare chest, committing every precious one to memory. 

In a fit of bravery, she leaned upward and kissed his cheek before settling back down next to him wrapping herself as close to him as she thought safe too without hurting him. 

“Sleep Dean, tomorrow we can finally get home.”

Forever:

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