#hozier is a close second though love you andrew

[acrossfromladystardust]

thank you noah kahan for introducing me to brandi carlile and sam fender

[padfootagain]

Only an Almost (XVI)

Chapter 16: Fare Well

Hi! Here comes a new chapter!

Okay, time to talk…

Sorry for the angst in advance…

I hope you’ll like this chapter! Please, tell me what you think!

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Pairing: Hozier x fem!reader, friends with benefits AU

Warning: No explicit smut or nsfw content, but there are sexual themes and heavy make-out sessions (it’s a friends with benefits AU, I can’t really escape it), so 18+ only!

Summary: Andrew has been in love with you for years, and yet he has never confessed his feelings. But a night out celebrating the engagement of his best friend changes everything. However, you don't seem ready to be with him just yet. You make him an offer that he can't refuse... but will certainly regret.

Word Count : 2496

Masterlist for the series – Hozier’s Masterlist – Main Masterlist

This was a terrible idea.

Andrew hesitated one last time before knocking on your door.

This was a terrible idea. He was going to get his heart broken all over again. What was there to discuss anyway? You had met someone else, someone better than him… end of story.

He buried his hands in the pockets of his jacket while he waited for you to open the door. It was springtime, and yet the evening was particularly cold tonight. A clear sky above his head though, all inky and full of stars.

God, he shouldn’t have come…

Finally, the key turned in the lock, and the next second your door was opening. You welcomed him with a timid but earnest smile.

“Hi! Come in… do you want some tea?”

You didn’t wait for his answer, hurried to close the door behind him as if you were worried he would run away. He barely let out a ‘good evening’ that you were off to the kitchen, busying yourself with tea even if it was late already.

Still, he walked in silence in your kitchen, let you get away with the distraction. He waited in silence, unwilling to be the first to speak.

“Here you go,” you added as you handed him the grey mug he loved best. Two teabags. The same ritual you had performed for him hundreds, if not thousands of times…

“Thank you,” his voice was quiet and blank.

The atmosphere was heavy, suffocating, even. His heart was pounding, and Andrew didn’t have the strength to look at you. He shouldn’t have come. Being rejected once was painful enough, he didn’t need you to do it again…

“Thank you for coming tonight,” you said, hesitation making your voice quiet and small. “Do you want to sit down?” you added as you gestured towards the living room, but Andrew shook his head.

“No, I’d rather stand.”

Slowly, you nodded. You remained both standing there, under the pale light of your kitchen, your back to the sink and his to the counter open on the living room. He was still holding his tea, but he didn’t want to drink it. The heat sipping through the porcelain was a good distraction against his tight throat though.

“You… You want to eat something? I have some biscuits…”

“Y/N… thank you, but… I’d rather get this over with.”

You hummed, pulling on your sleeves until they covered your hands. Andrew noticed that you hadn’t made any tea for yourself.

“Right… We should… talk about what happened.”

“Did you go to the date? With Maggie?”

He finally looked up when you remained silent. You seemed taken aback by his question.

“Yeah… Yes, I did.”

“Did you sleep with her?”

“Andy!”

“What? We’re close enough for us to have sex, but I can’t know if you’ve found someone else?”

You shifted your weight from one foot to the other. He was getting annoyed by all this, angry even. Andrew longed for this to be over, for him to go home, get threateningly drunk, maybe smoke a joint or two to make sure he could numb the pain, and forget for a few hours that you existed.

And tomorrow he would get up, and pretend that all was fine, and he would do that again and again until he could think of you without wanting to cry…

“No, we didn’t sleep together.”

“How was the date?”

“Do you really want to know?”

“Yes, I do.”

You heaved a sigh.

“I stayed a grand total of fifteen minutes…”

He frowned at that.

“Really?”

“It felt wrong.”

You added nothing to that statement, and Andrew didn’t know what to do with it. Wrong because your date wasn’t nice? Or wrong because you wanted someone else?

“Did you see her again?”

“No… no, and I don’t think I will.”

“Why not?”

You shifted again, clearly uncomfortable.

“Look, Andy… this isn’t why I wanted to see you…”

“Really? Why, then?”

“You… you ran off. When I told you, you simply… ran off. I… I’m sorry. I should have handled this better, I… I know that I didn’t break the news in the best way. I was scared of how you would react.”

He raised an unimpressed eyebrow.

“Did you ever think that I could react well to you dumping my arse?”

“I didn’t dump you…”

“Really?”

“No, because we were not together.”

Andrew clenched his jaw, put down his untouched tea on the counter behind him. He averted his gaze, crossed his arms before his chest.

“I’m sorry, Andy. I should have handled that situation better. You… you’re important to me. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause you pain.”

God, he didn’t know if he ought to cry or laugh at that.

“I know that I should have found a better way to tell you about this. But I… I hope that we can still be friends…”

“Friends?!”

He looked up again, stared at you with his mouth hanging open.

Friends?!

“No, Y/N. We’re not going to be friends.”

“But…”

“We’ve slept together. For months, we… Friends?!”

“That was our arrangement…”

“Our arrangement was a terrible idea. And it was… it was never an arrangement for me.”

“But we discussed things…”

“I shouldn’t have accepted.”

Slowly, you nodded.

It seemed to hurt you, that he showed regrets. But how could he not regret this?

He hated you for a moment, looking sad and scared like you didn’t want to lose him. And he hated you even more because he didn’t regret it. Not really. Despite all the pain he was feeling now, despite all the sleepless nights, and how desperate he was, he still didn’t regret it. He would have given anything to spend one last night with you. He would have gone through all this pain over and over again just to kiss you one more time. He would have done it all over again, just to hold you for one tiny minute…

He was bitter as he spoke. He didn’t care whether it would hurt you or not, he was too hurt himself to care about that. He needed to let it out. For once, he needed to do what was best for him, and not for you.

“Do you know what I wanted to tell you that night?”

You shook your head in silence, waiting for him to continue. You had mimicked his posture, were leaning against your sink with your arms crossed.

“I wanted to stop seeing you like this.”

Your mouth fell open in shock.

“I wanted to tell you that I… that I wanted to stop this stupid arrangement of ours. That I… That I wanted more. That I would have waited until you were ready to date again, no matter how long that would be, to be properly with you.”

His bottom lip trembled, your form was blurred with tears, but he held them back. They shone at the corners of his eyes, making the hazel turn green, but he didn’t cry.

“And you slept with me. We had sex. And then you blurted out that you didn’t give two fucks about me, and that you wanted to date someone else… after we just had sex! Do you realise how fucked up that is?!”

It was your turn to hold back your tears, averting your eyes.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, but that wasn’t good enough.

“I thought… after everything, I thought you would say yes. I thought you felt… something for me.”

“I… I do care about you, Andy, that’s not the point…”

“Do you? Is that why you thought it was respectful to have sex with me, and wait less than five minutes to reject me?!”

You didn’t say anything. He had raised his voice, although he was trying to keep it down. It made it powerful enough to make him intimidating, but shaky too, showing how vulnerable he was behind the layers of anger.

“Why did you do that? Why the fuck did you do that?!”

“Because… because I knew we had to stop this, and… I just… I know it was selfish, but I wanted to have one last night with you.”

He narrowed his eyes at you. Because it sounded like a good answer, a tempting one. You looked vulnerable, fragile even. As if this was a confession that was revealing too much of you.

But it was just a lie…

“We didn’t have one last night. We only had sex, Y/N.”

You stared at him for a while, but you refused to answer.

“You’ve only stayed once,” he reminded you. “You’ve only stayed once, and after that, it was like… like you didn’t want to remain more than twenty minutes alone with me unless we were having sex.”

“It… it was too hard to stay.”

“Too hard?”

“It was too emotional.”

His eyebrows shot up at that.

“Because having sex with me was not emotional to you? Really?”

“It’s different, and you know it.”

“No, I don’t know.”

“Acting like a couple, with domestic stuff, it’s… it’s different to fucking.”

The way you narrowed your eyes at him, the way you seemed worried now… yeah, Andrew guessed he wasn’t too good at hiding how much your words were hurting.

“Fucking… that’s all there was between us to you? That’s all I was to you?”

“That’s not what I meant...”

“That’s exactly what you meant! Christ! Are you telling me that you were just using me for sex all this time?! Why the fuck would you act like that with me if that was just about fucking, huh?! When we were… Jesus… when you…”

His voice broke, and he blinked tears away, but it wasn’t enough this time, he had to brush them off with the back of his hand.

“This is more complicated than that.”

“What’s complicated?”

“I can’t be with you, Andy. So… it was necessary to keep a certain distance, so we could still save our friendship…”

“Well, we didn’t save shit.”

“God, Andrew, I… I know that I’ve handled telling you about that stupid date badly… terribly even! But us not catching feelings was the plan all along! Don’t blame this on me!”

“So, you were just fucking me, then? All this time? There was nothing more than that?”

“Andy…”

“No! No, you answer me now! What the fuck, Y/N?! Are you really saying that I’ve been hallucinating all this time?! Because I thought… I thought you felt something… When we were lying in bed together, when we were…”

“Andy, you don’t understand.”

“No, you’re right! I don’t understand! We’ve slept together for months, several times a week, while spending our days together… we’ve been friends for years, and… and you didn’t feel anything when we were having sex? Nothing at all? Like… How could you feel nothing at all?”

“We agreed…”

“Fuck this agreement!” Andrew roared, and you visibly shook, his deep voice booming through the room. You had never heard him shout so loudly at anyone before. “Fuck your stupid rules! Fuck all this shit! How could you do this to me? How could you have sex with me and feel nothing! It felt…”

His voice broke, a tear rolled down his cheek, disappeared in his beard, caught a tiny speck of light before fading.

“It felt like it wasn’t just about pleasure. Like you were… like you… like I wasn’t just…”

He heaved a sigh, and all of a sudden he didn’t seem so tall, so intimidating. All of sudden, he was vulnerable and fragile and bent under a weight he couldn’t carry.

“God, Y/N… How could you do this to me?”

A pregnant pause stumbled across the space between your two bodies. It seemed an uncrossable chasm, a gap you couldn’t conquer anymore.

“I’m sorry, Andy… but you can’t put the blame only on me. You agreed to this. Everything was clear, we’ve discussed things…”

“But when we had sex…”

“Andy…”

“When we had sex, did you not feel anything? Something? Just… something… And what about after that? When we were holding onto each other? That morning when we had breakfast together…?”

You were blinking tears away, your arms tight around your own frame, fleeing him. Your body language was obvious, you were refusing to face the truth, or to admit it, at the very least.

“Why are you asking me this, why is it so important?”

“You truly don’t know the answer to that?”

“I don’t.”

“You fucking idiot...”

“Why would you have agreed to do this if that was not what you wanted? If you didn’t want me?”

“Didn’t want you?! Y/N… this is literally the opposite of what I’m saying!”

“I don’t understand!” you raised your voice too this time, following his lead. “We’ve discussed things! We agreed! You said you wanted me!”

“Of course, I wanted you!”

“Then why are you mad?”

“BECAUSE I WANT MORE!”

“WHY DIDN’T YOU SAY THAT?!”

“BECAUSE YOU WOULD HAVE LEFT! BECAUSE YOU DON’T…”

His voice cracked again, he let out a frustrated growl against himself and his bloody feelings that were bubbling all the way to the surface to overcome him and drown him in silence…

“WHAT… NEXT YOU’LL TELL ME YOU LOVE ME…”

“OF COURSE I DO!”

There it was, out in the open. He saw you freezing into place, eyes growing round. And he knew he had fucked up, but what was there left to destroy anyway? He couldn’t be just your friend anymore… he was losing you tonight, no matter what.

“I love you,” Andrew finally let out the words he had kept hidden for so long, they tasted sour in his mouth, and yet a weight was lifted from his chest. “I fucking love you. Of course, I love you. How could you not notice? I was always in love with you. And it was never just sex for me. It was always about making love to you. Did you… have you never made love to me? Not once? Was it just fucking? Really?”

You blinked at him. You seemed stunned in stillness, unable to move or do anything but stare at him with round eyes and parted lips. Andrew thought he knew how to understand your silence. He hated you for it. Despite all his love, while he held your blank gaze with his searching one, he hated you.

“Alright. Very well.”

He turned away, and didn’t look back as he crossed your home to the door.

“Don’t call me again, Y/N. I don’t want to hear about you ever again.” And then he was out in the street, in your driveway, into his car, driving, turning off the engines, closing the door of his car, opening his front door and stepping into his home, taking off his shoes and jacket, walking upstairs and into his bathroom and entering the shower with his clothes on. And when the cold water hit his face he finally allowed himself to let out a shout.

[eoieopda]

all my dreamin' | hjs

all my dreamin' is only put to shame / and darlin', all my dreamin' has only been given a name / but it came easy, darlin' / as natural as another leg around you in the bed frame.

pairing: joshua hong x reader summary: your LA boyfriend wasn't built for midwest winters. ⇢ insp. by hozier's "to someone from a warm climate (uiscefhuarithe)" type: one-shot | fluff 'n smut wc: only 2.5k! au: established relationship rating: 18+ (minors do not have my consent to interact) cw: afab! and american!reader; cuddling (👀) for warmth; gropin’ and grindin’; k*ss*ng; slow, unprotected morning sex; p in v penetration. a/n: i love two (2) men — andrew hozier byrne and hong jisoo. idk what else you want me to say, lol. barely proofread (sorry!) 🔞 MINORS WHO INTERACT WITH ME AND/OR MY CONTENT WILL BE BLOCKED, WHETHER OR NOT THE CONTENT IS NSFW. I’M AN ADULT WRITING EXCLUSIVELY FOR OTHER ADULTS.

Slatted shades don’t stand much of a chance against the blinding white outside your window. It seeps through the cracks, sunshine refracting harshly off of knee-deep snow and stinging eyes that haven’t yet consented to opening fully. 

Even though that laser-focused beam of light hits you between your eyebrows, it’s not the reason you’re awake in the first place. The real reason is next to you with his head ducked under the covers, rubbing his flannel-coated legs together like he’s trying to start a fire.

“Cricket?” You mumble. 

Still heavy with sleep you didn’t get enough of, your head lolls to the side. If your boyfriend was still topside, you’d be nose to nose; but he’s not, and he doesn’t seem to hear you from inside the cocoon he’s made for himself. 

A little louder, your gravelly voice makes a second attempt. “Are you alive under there?”

“No,” comes the world’s most pitiful whimper from somewhere near your rib cage.

You don’t know what you expected.

With a muffled grunt of effort, you pull the edge of the covers away from your chin and wiggle your way down. In the half-light, you can’t make out Joshua’s face in its entirety. His sweatshirt strings are pulled tight and knotted, hiding most of his features from the air his breath has already started to make hot. All that’s left is the tip of his nose, one eye, and a single, loose wave between the two.

There’s also a hint of a frown in there somewhere when he peeps, “I’m cold.”

You shift even further until he’s within swaddling distance. Wrapping one leg over his topmost thigh, you pull him closer and allow him to nestle his face into the spot below your chin. From where he’s hiding, he can’t see you smirking. It’s for the best, really.

“Hi, Cold.”

“Don’t.”

You don’t listen. Instead, you snicker, more to yourself than him, “I’m Dad.”

Joshua lets out a long groan in reply, but that’s no surprise; you’re huddled so closely together that you felt it building in his chest. 

When it grows quiet again, and you’re no longer laughing at your own joke, the two of you each deflate against each other. Yesterday’s journey from LAX was exhausting in and of itself, and the several-hour leap in time hasn’t made things any easier since you landed. Neither has the weather surrounding your family’s cabin, although you’re faring much better than Joshua is.

His groggy voice comes out of nowhere, startling you. “I don’t know why people live here on purpose.”

From the sound of it, he’s already halfway back to sleep. His arm slips over your waist and pulls you closer, and you get the sneaking suspicion that he’d slip into the front of your sweatshirt if he thought for sure that he could fit. Frankly, you’re shocked he hasn’t tried. His clinginess increases exponentially when he’s exhausted.

“The midwest isn’t a choice; it’s a consequence,” you sigh. “I think being born here was a penance for crimes I committed in a past life.”

Without opening his eyes, Joshua mumbles, “Bleak.”

“Bleak indeed, cricket.”

The third time really must be the charm. Joshua snorts, much too tired to laugh any harder than that, and asks, “Does that mean what I think it means?”

Biting back a smile, you tilt your head backwards enough to kiss his forehead — what little you can see of it, anyway.

“That your self-warming violin legs kept me up all night?” Your amusement only grows when you peek down at him and find him glaring up at you. “Yes. Yes, it does.”

Lower lip poking out, he scrunches his eyebrows. As offended as he pretends to be, he can’t hide that ever-present twinkle in his eyes. “You could have saved me, you know,” he sniffs.

You mimic his tone with a smirk. “I turned the thermostat up as high as it goes, you know.”

The most you get out of him is a grunt acknowledging that he heard you. Normally, you’d accept this lack of retort as a demurrer, but then you feel his cold fingertips slink below the waistband of your sleep shorts, chilling the bare skin at your hip bone; and it finally hits you.

The thermostat wasn’t the remedy Joshua had been praying for.

As you untie the strings of his sweatshirt hood, you tell yourself that it’s retaliation that motivates your movements — paying him back for his freezing hands by exposing his face to equally cold air. That’s bullshit, though, and you know it. The truth is that you can’t card your fingers through hair that’s covered in thick, grey fabric.

You can’t steal kisses from hidden lips, either.

When Joshua’s mouth is finally on yours, you giggle without meaning to because he still tastes like last night’s spearmint toothpaste. You’d love to tease him for it, but your mind goes blank before you can try. He licks into your mouth, and your snark turns into a breathy little moan instead; he swallows it eagerly, smiling against your lips.

Pinch me. I’m dreaming.

The sudden snap of your elastic waistband against the small of your back makes you jolt. You pull back, lips swollen and kiss-bitten, and balk. He doesn’t give you the opportunity to scold him, however.

“You’re insane for wearing shorts when it’s this cold,” Joshua insists. When you don’t bother to justify your decision — you’re not as much of a freeze baby as he is — he nips at your bottom lip. “I’m grateful, though. They’re easier to work around.”

You’re grateful that his hands have gotten warmer, the longer they cling to you, but you don’t say as much out loud — your body responds for you. His fingers knead into the flesh of your ass, and you roll your hips forward, chasing friction. You find it easily; it’s growing thicker by the second.

“Shit, sweetheart.” He’s still so tired that his words come out slurred — adorable — yet rough around the edges, which drives you the slightest bit wild. “Please do that again.”

“You just want me to do all the work.” You nudge the tip of his nose with yours. The sharp contrast in temperature isn’t lost on you; in fact, you adore it. His sensitivity to cold is one of a million endearing things about him. “Isn’t that right, cricket?” 

The half-expectant, half-sheepish look Joshua sends you confirms that yes, he does. But he asked nicely, and this isn’t on the shortlist of things you wouldn’t do for him, so you grant his wish without complaint.

It’s more than a little bit pathetic that such a lazy motion — a fully-clothed one, at that — makes you both moan in tandem. It’s haphazard, the way your fumbling fingers reach for the knot of his waistband. Your motor skills are still asleep, it seems, making an easy task infinitely more difficult. It only gets worse, the more frustrated you get.

You snag a fingernail on the stubborn flannel and hiss, “Jesus.”

“It’s pronounced Jisoo,” he supplies unhelpfully. 

To avoid the consequences of that quip, Joshua ducks his head down to leave a smattering of lazy kisses along the length of your neck. Whatever you might’ve clapped back with is replaced with a relieved sigh when the drawstrings’ vice grip on one another finally gives. 

Tugging unsuccessfully at the waistband in your hands, you pout. “Help.”

With the way he whines, you’d think you asked him to move a mountain. 

Melodramatically, Joshua’s head drops sideways. It lands with a muffled thump against the scrunched-up comforter that still surrounds you. He doesn’t move another muscle until you open your mouth to nag him; still frowning, still uncoordinated, his hands take the place of yours. His hips lift just enough for him to shimmy his pajama pants down — just enough to provide access.

You roll your eyes at his refusal to undress any further, but before he can remind you of how cold he is, you catch him by the mouth. Successfully placated, Joshua accepts your lips on his with an appreciative hum. That sound transforms into something bordering a groan when your hand claims his length and starts stroking him slowly.

Just like that, Joshua melts under your touch, like putty molding to your frame. His leaking cock is the exception; the only part of him that seems awake enough to beg for you. He’s throbbing in your hand and — once again — you can’t help but laugh. 

Joshua’s incredulous eyes widen, silently demanding an explanation. 

“Some of you is warm,” you offer with a cheeky grin. To ease that wrinkle between his brows, you envelope the crown of his cock with your palm and roll your wrist. The gentle squeeze prompts him to grind forward into your fist, making your stomach flip. “Must be thawing out a little bit.”

“Not fair,” he says, even though he’s moaning with screwed-shut eyes. “Can’t tease me until I’m adequately caffeinated. The Keurig is a million miles away.”

It’s one room over. 

The cabin you’ve borrowed from your parents is a mere six-hundred square feet.

You digress.

The prospect of coffee makes it even harder to fight off the urge to yawn, but you manage to do so. You manage to shimmy even closer to him, too, until the only barrier left is a thin layer of damp cotton. It’s his hand that drops down now to push it aside, making you shiver; and it’s him looking at you through half-lidded eyes that stokes the fire simmering in your belly.

“C’mere, sweetheart,” Joshua whispers. 

If his words weren’t invitation enough, the come hither motion of his fingers is. The brush of his fingertips against your clit is so enticing that you decide right then and there to follow wherever he leads. 

You’re the one melting when the tip of his cock replaces his fingers, flicking over that same spot, then gliding through your slicked folds. Each pass pulls another needy sigh right out of you. He takes every little sound he can tease out of you, as if he’s collecting them. 

When the target switches to your entrance, however, you go silent. Your fingers grip the sleeve of his sweatshirt, your forehead drops to lean against his, and your gasp dies on your tongue. It comes out of Joshua’s mouth instead, spearmint breath cooling as it fans across your face.

He might never say so out loud, but this is his favorite way to fuck you — holding you close against him, holding eye contact, holding his eagerness back to slide into you slowly. When he watches your breath catch, his pupils dilate; and he licks his lips, as if he tastes the moans you can’t quite vocalize.

For what it’s worth, you love him like this, too. Him and the drag of his cock; the way it makes pleasure course through you like molasses. The way he capitalizes on the angle of your leg draped over his hip, tilting up to graze your g-spot with a dizzying precision.

As hard as you try, you can’t think of anything better than this. There’s nothing as perfect as his hand’s light hold on your ass cheek, guiding you up and down his length; so fucking deep, but in no rush at all.

Mornings were made to be spent tangled up with him.

“Do you hear that?” Joshua murmurs against your lips. You thread your fingers through his hair and nod, whimpering as you cling to him even tighter. 

How could you not? 

Your arousal floods with every languid thrust, and you know without looking that he’s completely coated in you. And if his satisfied smirk tells you anything, it’s that he can feel you dripping from his shaft down to his balls. You have no reason to doubt it; your inner thighs are a mess.

Joshua takes his hand off your ass just to hitch your leg even higher up on his side. Immediately, you see stars. You can’t even articulate how fucking incredible it feels, having him this deep, so you kiss him with more desperation than you ever have; and you hope he can guess how close you are to unraveling.

It’s impossible to say whether he can read your mind or just your body, but Joshua picks up the pace ever so slightly. As he does, there’s a subtle swirl to his hips when he thrusts into you that has every one of your synapses lighting up like a switchboard. 

“Fuck,” is your eloquent, shuddered response. 

It’s the best you can offer when you're falling apart like this, clenching tightly around him to push you both closer to the edge. No better off, Joshua seems like he’s barely surviving the way your cunt grips him. His voice sounds as shaky as you feel: 

“I l-love it when you do that.” 

To prove it, he flicks his tongue along your bottom lip and begs you to open up for him. You comply automatically, earning a pleased hum from him that tingles down your spine.

You’d kiss him like this all day if you could, but the wildfire burning through the pit of your abdomen is becoming impossible to fight. Ironic, you think, given how completely you’ve soaked through your sleep shorts and how much you’re shivering.

Involuntarily, your head tilts backwards as the pleasure blooms. Joshua traps your bottom lip between his teeth — not hard enough to hurt, but firmly enough to keep you from disappearing. You know him; you know how much he loves to watch your pupils blow when you cum all over him, and that dead-set determination is crystal clear in the way he fights to keep his heavy-lidded eyes open.

He loses that battle mere seconds after your choked gasp, when your walls flutter around him and you start trembling. He’s twitching inside of you, release spilling, and now he’s the one who starts to laugh.

“What?” You’re still floating somewhere in the stratosphere, but you manage to snort, landing a playful swat on his bare hip. He doesn’t react at all, but you massage your palm into his flesh to soothe him anyway. “What’s so funny?”

In a sudden burst of energy, Joshua’s hands fly up to grab the comforter resting over your heads. With a grunt, he flings it off of you both, thrusting your unsuspecting body into cold air. He doesn’t even notice your startled yelp.

“So hot in there,” he pants. For emphasis, he runs the back of his hand over his forehead. He wasn’t lying; there’s a faint sheen of sweat on his knuckles when he pulls them away again. “Jesus. It’s like a fucking sauna.”

You reach out to unstick a strand of hair from his slicked skin, then you let your arm flop limply back against the pillows. Grinning, you tease, “I thought it was pronounced Jisoo.”

[arlh0e]

Almost (sweet music)

Part: 3/? Rating: Explicit, 18+

Warnings: Hozier x fem!reader, smut, oral fem!receiving, face sitting, PIV sex, no explicit mention of a condom, slightly subby but not completely subby Andrew, yearning, begging, make-up sex, overstimulation, multiple orgasms, ✨eye contact✨,general filth, smut with plot, smut under the cut, fluff, after care

The way Andrew was looking up at you was intoxicating. The look in his eyes was nothing sort of pleading and the way he looked kneeling before you was similar to how one would kneel before an altar to a Devine goddess.

The way he admired you was nothing short of utter worship, like he was in awe of your very presence.

His hands were tight around your waist, wandering a little bit, but staying firmly in a place that you could only describe as utterly respectful, like he was scared to go to far in fear that you would disappear.

He continued kissing the band of exposed skin between your waistband and the hem of your shirt, his eyes never leaving yours for a second. He was wordlessly pleading for your approval in taking this farther.

“Use your words.” It slips out before you can even fully form the thought or process what you’ve just said. Judging by the subtle excitement that touched his gaze though, he approved.

It was an interesting thought, you had never seen the side of him that even slightly hinted to him being into relinquishing control like this. Usually the begging was a job reserved almost exclusively for you. You were unsure of how exactly this would play out.

“Please may I touch you?” His hands tightened around your waist, pulling you a bit closer to him, his kisses lingering a bit longer against your mid drift. “Please.” The look in his eyes made you think he might cry if you said no.

You move one of your hands to the bottom of his chin, picking his head up and leading him back up to his feet in front of you. He towered over you, looking down, his eyes searching for any sign that you were still upset with him or that he was going too far. “You may.” You stand up on your toes to place soft kisses across his jaw line. The satisfied, happy sigh that leaves him pulls at your heart and gives you the confidence to keep going. “Don’t you think you’re getting a bit ahead of yourself though?”

You chuckle against his neck, the breath wafting across his skin makes him tense a little bit, a shiver running down his spine.

You pull away to look up at him expectantly, refusing to make the first move even as your hands make their way to his shirt, gripping it tightly, keeping him impossibly close to you. He leans down, clearly intending to press his lips to yours, but is met with your hand between the two of you, stopping him. “Tsk, tsk, tsk. We ask first.”

“Can I kiss you?” One of his hand makes it’s way too your face and he runs his thumb back and fourth over your cheek. “Please, darling, I’ve missed the feeling of your lips terribly.” His other hand comes to your face as well, holding you in a way that feels so comforting. He’s still pleading with his eyes, they’re so intense looking into yours. His eyebrows are furrowed in desperation and lips are slightly opened, his eyes frantically searching your face, darting back and fourth between your eye a your lips.

In lieu of a verbal response, you nod and pull him closer to you, wrapping your arms around his waist.

He wastes no time pressing his lips to yours, the kiss is soft, full of love, but not lacking urgency. He always kissed you as if he was suffocating and you were his boy source of oxygen left on earth, not only wanting you, but needing you.

Without parting from him, you gently usher him back toward the bed, and only once the back of his knees hit the mattress do you separate your lips from his, gently pushing him down onto the bed.

His smile while looking up at you showed nothing but pure adoration. “You are Devine my love, may I?” His hands were at the hem of your shirt, pulling desperately at the fabric. “I’d like to worship you properly if is all the same to you.”

“Yes, darling, go ahead” you silently thanked yourself for not wearing a bra to bed as he lifted the clothing over your head, revealing your upper half to him. As he looks over your body, he’s grinning like a little kid in a candy store, his mouth practically watering, thinking of all the ways he’d like to devour every inch of you. And you’d like him to. If it were up to you, not a single inch of your body would be untouched by his hands, his mouth, him.

His lips are back on you, exploring your torso, gently nipping at the skin on your stomach, making his way up to the valley between your breasts. Your hands move to tangle into his hair, pulling gently, just enough to elicit a small, sweet sound of satisfaction from between his lips.

His head moves slightly to attend to your left nipple while his hand makes its way over your right.

The feeling of his hands and mouth on you was nothing short blissful. You had always been fully aware of just how generous of a lover Andrew was, always getting pleasure from giving you yours, but this moment took the cake.

You weren’t sure if it was the months apart, waiting for his return, yearning to be in his presence, longing just to be near him, but in this moment, his touch had never felt so good. He was intoxicating, like a drug made specifically with you in mind, sent from whatever gods that were out there with the sole purpose of ruining you.

Before you knew it you were straddling him, his mouth moving on to focus on your neck, your jawline, behind your ears, coaxing sounds from you which, if you were in your right mind, would embarrass you terribly.

He lifts his head to meet his lips to yours again, this time a bit rougher, hungrier. “Please,” another kiss. “Can I,” and another. “I need to taste you.”

He pulls you with him as he lays himself down, your position above him moving farther up, close to his chest now, with his hands on your hips urging you higher.

The thought crosses through your mind that as enjoyable as this idea seems, you may kill him if you try it. “Andrew, I really don’t want you suffocating between my thighs.” You laugh and place a kiss on his forehead. “As tempting as that sounds, I’ve grown rather fond of you.”

“Well in the event that such a thing happens, you can tell everyone that I died doing what I love.” He lets out a breathy laugh, continuing his attempts at pulling you forward. “You know I love nothing more than to please you, wont you please let me do what I love?”

Your hands meet his at your waist to assist in removing the final layers of clothing between the two of you. “Okay, but tap my thighs twice if I kill you alright?” You mutter quietly as you let him guide you until you’re hovering over his face.

He begins his worship at your inner thighs, kissing and nipping and sucking at the soft skin, moving back and fourth between the two of them so as not to give unfair attention or show favoritism between the two.

His breath is hot against your skin, awakening every nerve ending in your body, you swear you could feel his touch through every fiber of your being from the tips of your toes to the ends of the hair on your head. Every touch drew you closer into him, from the work his lips were doing on your thighs to his bruisingly tight grip holding you there.

He lets out a very frustrated sigh. “Darling, please, Im not made of glass.” And you’re suddenly being pulled down onto his face.

The sensation, while familiar is strange (though not unwelcome) considering the change in orientation. His tongue dancing, exploring every crevice of you drove you up the wall. “Fuck, Andrew.”

He made a point out of teasing you every time. He stubbornly refused to give you what he knew you wanted right away, claiming the anticipation is what made everything all that much better when he makes you cum. You couldn’t argue of course, he was right, but it never made it any less frustrating when he teased you the way he did.

Absentmindedly, you begin the rock your hips back and forth over top of him, trying to move yourself to a position to get what you wanted. You weren’t quite expecting the deep groan, guttural, sound that bordered on a feral growl that that came from him as a response to your actions.

The vibrations it sent through your core elicited a similar sound from you, and then a string of moans and curses which you weren’t sure were completely coherent when his tongue moved to where you so desperately wanted his attention.

Your body moved on its own accord. Your hips snapping forward against his face repeatedly, your legs were shaking in a manner that you could only describe as violent.

The waves of pleasure running through you becoming more and more intense with every satisfied hum and groan from him, sending shockwaves through your entire body.

His name was falling off your lips repeatedly alongside every curse your barely functioning brain could think of.

You were positive that he had never been this enthusiastic about giving before, which was saying something, because there truly was nothing he got more excited about than going down on you, but even then he had never gotten this into it.

Before you knew it you were coming undone, squirming desperately against him as he held you there and continued his wicked pursuit of your pleasure, lapping up every ounce of your orgasm that now covered your thighs.

He wasn’t giving you any sort of break to recover, keeping his attention solely focused on the bundle of nerves between your thighs, which was growing increasingly sensitive by the second.

Your vision was blurry and your legs were numb, barely able to hold up your weight. “Andrew, I-” your voice sounded far away, as if it didn’t even belong to you as you reached your second orgasm, less than a minute after your first, and yet he still kept going. “Fuck, too sensitive, Jesus!” You desperately pushed yourself away from him, fighting against his grip on the back of your thighs.

You feel him smirk against you as he releases you to climb off of him. Your head hits the pillow behind you and you let out another breathy moan, riding out the rest of your orgasm with Andrew sitting between your thighs which are still spread open, watching you still shaking and moaning, even twitching occasionally. “You’re so beautiful.” He’s staring in awe at you, baffled by the sight before him. “Can I please keep going? Just one more?” He smiles down at you, his hands rubbing up and down your thighs.

You nod wordlessly. You’re positive that if you tried to speak you’d be completely incoherent. He chuckles quietly. He absolutely loved seeing you this way, your mind completely blank, entirely fucked out and still wanting more of him. You were utterly obsessed with each other, and in this moment nothing could take away from that.

He waits patiently for you to come down, not wanting to completely overwhelm you (that could wait). While he’s waiting, he takes the time to remove his own clothes, which in all the excitement had surprisingly been left completely untouched.

Once you give the okay, he’s back to work between your thighs, this time using not only his mouth but also his fingers.

By this point you were spent. You couldn’t think clearly, you doubted your ability to speak even, you were convinced that this was the most high you had ever been off of him, or anything for that matter.

The feeling of him between your legs was the only thing you could imagine ever thinking about again in that moment. He knew every inch of you like the back of his hand, it was as if he had known you all his life, like you were the only lover he had ever known or would ever know. The only word you would ever be able to describe him with was ecstasy.

The world outside of this room didn’t exist in that moment it was like the stars the moon and all of the planets orbited around the two of you.

You continued letting out moan after broken moan, bordering on screams as his fingers curled inside of you, working together with his tongue to make you cum in record time, it had gotten to the point where the line between pleasure and pain was almost completely blurred and he hadn’t even fucked you yet.

When he removed his head from between your thighs, you found yourself aching for him to come back. The wicked smile across his lips told you that of course he would, and surely enough, before you knew it his lips were back on yours.

You could taste yourself on his lips, slightly salty, but the taste doesn’t completely cover the sweetness in his usual taste.

When he pulls away his eyes are almost entirely dilated and his breathing if heavy. “My god, please let me fuck you, I need you so bad.” His tone is pleading, almost a whimper. You nod quickly, hands moving to his face in an attempt to pull him back to you, desperate for any contact you can get. “I need you so say it. Tell me that I can make love to you. Please.”

“Yes, Andrew, fuck-” you pull his face down to yours and kiss him hard, theres passion and hunger behind it. “I have been waiting for months, missing you for months, please.”

You both moan in unison as he presses into you. You cant help but look into his eyes as he does so, the way he looked at you, marveled at you, worshipped you made you wish this moment would never end. The way your bodies entwine is utterly enchanting, it’s enough to make you forget where your body ends and his begins.

Before Andrew you had never really seen sex as something as intimate as it was with him. Of course exposing yourself to someone and having that vulnerability with another human was always intimate, but never before him did you feel like it was something that inextricably intertwined two people, body, mind and soul.

Sex with Andrew felt akin to pouring your heart out to him and laying the deepest, darkest, most shameful parts of yourself out in front of him without fear of judgement because he would always accept you as you were. Only with him did you finally understand the term “make love”. He loved you unconditionally and you loved him with equal devotion.

You could feel yourself coming to yet another orgasm at the same time that his thrusts started to become sloppy, more rushed, and ever so eager to reach his own high.

It was crazy to you, the way your bodies were always in sync like that. You knew all too well how much of a rarity it was for two people to finish together in most relationships (truth be told, in your experience, it was a rarity to finish at all with anyone else) but it had never once been an issue for the two of you and tonight was no exception.

As that familiar wave of ecstasy washed over both of you, your bodies tensing and then relaxing all in complete synchronization. You swore it was like magic.

You let out a small moan as he pulls away from you, lying down next to you and pulling you into his chest. His scent was so familiar, he smelled like home, like your future, like the two of you sitting on the porch of your home together, old and gray, watching your grandchildren play in the front yard. The thought honestly made you want to cry given the circumstances, but you found yourself just being happy enough to be with him for now. The talk about where the two of you stand could wait until the morning.

“So am I forgiven or am I gonna have to ravish you again in the morning?” He chuckles into your hair, planting a kiss on the top of your head.

“You’re forgiven, but Im open to the idea.” You look up at him, smiling. His gaze was so soft, full of adoration and wonder.

“Great, because I was planning on it either way.” His smile widens and the two of you laugh. You missed this.

Being in his presence was a comfort that you would never take for granted ever again. He instantly put you at ease, made you feel relaxed like you had never felt otherwise.

You found yourself drifting off to sleep, barely still conscious enough to hear him mutter “I love you” as your sleep overcame you.

I got carried away so its a bit long, hope this was as fun to read as it was to write, I’ll hopefully update again tomorrow maybe, but I make no promises

[lynsburner]

BESTIE BESTIE BESTIE DID YOU SEE THE VID OF ANDY SINGING UNKNOWN ON STAGE????

https://twitter.com/hozier/status/1666156710816251927?s=46&t=LSoyIXqT91OLGNpISabobw

“you know the distance never made a difference to me” THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT OF WAS YOUR FIC 😭 this song is sooooo andy/lovely core im obsessed!! i can’t wait for it to come out, A) bc it sounds amazing already, and B) bc im so excited to hear your thoughts on it!!!

Oh... bestie... you might not like my answer for this one because I am absolutely begging him to put this one bACK IN THE VAULT (or whatever it is. Sorry I have too much Taylor on my mind after going to the eras tour twice now. And for the last time, I swear.)

Is it a bad song? Absolutely fucking not. It's gorgeous. But it hits a little too close to home for me.

So... I am about to tell a silly story. Picture this. It is late September. I am SEATED to see Carly Rae Jepsen at Radio City. I check twitter (yes I am on the hoz side of twitter. Not under this name, though lol). People are freaking out about a tik tok he made. I had only seen a small clip posted of him jamming on a guitar so I think nothing of it.

The curtain goes up. Carly comes on. I am having the most fun two hours of my life because how can't you when you get to hear the best opening number for an album ever made, sax and all? She ends with Cut to the Feeling, one of the most joyous songs ever made! I am on a happiness high! Nothing can ruin my night!

And then I am sitting at the bus stop and I check tik tok and realize it was a full song! A full song about a long-distance relationship! And I start SOBBING!!!! Because guess what? That song is SAD!

So I go from absolutely forgetting every bad thing that had ever happened to me to full-on crying about a failed relationship I was still not over!!! In the middle of 5th Avenue, no less!!!!

Idk if you've heard the full thing, but it is DEPRESSING! It's basically the opposite of Francesca (or the "I'd do it all over again" motif) ! He literally sings "And there are some people, love, who are better unknown" like??? Imagine thinking you're better off never someone than knowing them at all! (which, I know is my interpretation, and I can very much be wrong but that's what it's giving to me!) I can imagine! I was still in that mindset! Especially since this one was about a long-distance relationship! It hit me too fucking hard!!! I have literally ignored every live performance I've come across of it on social media since because it makes me absolutely sob!!! I wish I was joking!

Anyway, a hilarious bookend to this: the day he announced in that Instagram Q&A the date Unknown was officially being released? Guess who I was seeing in concert that night? That's right! Carly Rae FUCKING Jepsen!!!!! *Insert the "If I had a nickel" meme here*

But yeah, he got the real long-distance thing down to a fucking t, especially with the second verse, "Funny how true colors shine in darkness and in secrecy. If there were scarlet flags, they washed out in thе mind of me" because yeah, you can forgive a lot of shit when the person isn't physically in front of you! Also, "Where a blinding light shonе on you every night Either side of my sleep" to me is just a fancy little way of saying face time/late night calls lol. (Again, I could be wrong, but still!)

But (I am sorry for repeating "But"... BUT!) he also confirmed it's from circle 9, which is treachery! Which... well I am not defining a successful relationship as treachery, I'm sorry! Judas is in that circle! And I did too many years in Catholic school to know what that guy fucking did!

Anyway, unlike me and my ex (and whoever the fuck Hoz is singing about, may they have their peace and never have to hear this one randomly in a store or some shit), Andrew and Lovely are definitely on better terms in my mind and are absolutely thriving <3 As I said before, love those crazy kids! They're in their own universe probably looking at rings as we speak! Or face-timing since he's out on the road! Good for them!

This is also not an insult to long-distance relationships in general. I loved that shit. It was wonderful! The guy, though? He sucks! And I am still doing some reflecting on that (which I am sure will continue once I force myself to listen to Unknown in a non tik tok way!)

Lovely Anon, I know this is not the answer you expected, but hopefully, it makes you chuckle! Or at least gets you to listen to the greatest album ever made: Emotion, by Carly Rae Jepsen!

PS: thank you for that other ask because I have been putting "no plan" back into my rotation of songs and oh boy I forgot how fucking good it was!!!!!

PPS: I hope this didn't come off as too, "Uhm, actually!" because that was not my intent! The opening, out of context, is absolutely Lovely and Andrew coded! But the rest? Oh, she has words for him!!!!!

[adalinehq]

Welcome to Aurora Bay, [ADALINE ROSE KANE]! I couldn’t help but notice you look an awful lot like [LILY COLLINS]. You must be the [THIRTY-SIX] year old [PEDIATRICIAN]. Word is you’re [NURTURING] but can also be a bit [INDECISIVE] and your favorite song is [THE BONES BY MARREN MORRIS & HOZIER]. I also heard you’ll be staying in [SEABROOK QUARTER]. / @aurorabayaesthetic​

CHARACTER BASICS

NAME: adaline rose kane (nee carter) NICKNAME: addie, rosie AGE: thirty-six DATE OF BIRTH: may 5, 1986 ZODIAC SIGN: taurus GENDER & PRONOUNS: cisfemale, she/her ORIENTATION: heterosexual STATUS: married HEIGHT: 5′4″ OCCUPATION: pediatrician at aurora bay hospital NEIGHBORHOOD: seabrook quarter

QUICK FACTS

adaline was born as the second child in a middle class family in san diego, california, having one older brother and three younger siblings that followed suit (a younger sister following her, and two younger brothers). her mother was an artist while her father was a medical technologist.

her parents were pretty laidback people and they just wanted their children to have a happy childhood growing up. as long as none of them are failing, then they were pretty good with it. however, even as a kid, addie has been called brilliant by her teachers and she showed a lot of potential to be something more. her parents have been called in a couple of times, encouraging them to enroll her in a private school that specialized with that, but her parents didn’t want to put any pressure on her. besides, she’s already skipped two grades and they just wanted her to be a happy kid, which she was. she loved studying just as much as she enjoyed interacting with other kids. even though she was younger than the people in her grade, that didn’t deter her from being friends with them and she always topped her class.

when she was in her freshman year of high school, they had to move to Aurora Bay because her father got a better job offer there and with five kids to put to college, they really needed the extra cash. her mother stopped her pursuits in the art as she focused more on her kids, but she still painted from time to time.

the move to aurora bay has been a difficult one for addie, especially leaving all of her friends behind. it took her some time before she was able to adapt with her peers in aurora bay high school, but when she did, she slowly won them over. she became the student council president during her last year of high school and graduated as the valedictorian of their class. her parents couldn’t be any prouder than her, but they also wanted her to slow it down.

wanting to follow the footsteps of her father to have a career in the medical field, she took pharmacy as her pre-med course. at the start of her college years, the brunette was pretty much focused in her studies and didn’t really get out a lot. but it was in her sophomore year that she truly took notice of him. 

andrew was only supposed to be her brother’s friend, but the two started to get closer and soon enough, they were hiding their relationship from her brother. since her older brother has always been protective of her, they weren’t sure how he would react to the news of them getting together. and they were right because when he found out during her junior year, he didn’t exactly approve of them. only when he saw how it was not just some college fling did they finally win his approval.

addie graduated with latin honors, getting into the medicine program of a nearby university,  which was known for its medical field. it was only two hours away from her home but she lived in her own apartment there for five years. after finishing her internship in that town, she took up her residency in aurora bay hospital to finally be home again. it took her awhile to find a specialization that she held close to her heart, but she chose pediatrics.

however, it was also during her residency that she found that she had less and less time for her beau. the arguments and misunderstandings began and the two broke up during those years since she needed to focus on her work and they needed some time away from each other.

but just like two people who were pulled to each other, the two got back together after she finished her residency. and two months later, addie was expecting their first chilld. the two have talked of marriage before when they were still together, but nothing has really been set in motion since they were waiting for her to finish her program first before getting married. but with the unexpected pregnancy, the two had a quick wedding in the city hall.

currently, she’s working as a pediatrician in the aurora bay hospital. she has two children, noah (5 y/o) and emma (3 y/o), and they are the literal light of her life along with her husband, andrew.

adaline has always been a friendly chap and quite motherly especially to the younger people around town. she’s definitely the mom friend even before she had children. she exudes warmth and wants to offer everyone the kind of love she experienced from her parents. though on the contrary, she can also be a little indecisive since her parents just let them do what they wanted; her interests can be fickle and she never gets to actually finish a hobby that she’s started. 

more tba since this is a work in progress tbh

WANTED CONNECTIONS

her older and younger siblings (one older brother, followed by a younger sister, then two younger brothers)

close friends/friends

friends since high school/college

someone she can be like a motherly figure to

someone she doesn’t get along with

an ex fling (from around 6-7 years ago)

high school ex

parents of her patients

colleagues in the hospital

[mrdanielbond]

Wild Nights, Wild Hearts (One-Shot?)

“Mystery man”

[Main characters: Mikael Blomkvist X Reader]

Plot: It is time to head back to work as a lecturer at your university after a successful first semester. Unfortunately for you, one of your guest lecturers is a familiar face from a wild night out…

[A/N: Wrote this ages ago and thought, hey why not? Okay, so I don’t know if this is going to be an actual thing. Like I assume it’s going to be a one-shot. Plus, in all fairness, Mikael is my favourite non-Bond character of Daniel’s, so I thought it’s time to appreciate this man in all his glory. I hope you enjoy this! Let me know what you think?]

Music continued to boom through the speakers. The flashing lights and smoke was intense, but you didn’t care. As long as you were still with your friends, celebrating a birthday amongst the group, that's all that mattered. What also helped was the fact your sultry look managed to get you quite a few free drinks from the bartender. You weren’t used to this kind of attention, often keeping a natural look. However, this was your friend and co-worker’s birthday. You wanted to spice things up and look incredible for her. Of course, when Maisie saw you for the first time, she was surprised. In fact, her jaw dropped at how glamorous you looked. “Girl what the HELL! After Florence Pugh, you are a woman I’d proudly fuck.” You remember her particularly saying and that was the start of an incredibly wild night.

“Javier, can I get another tequila please!” You scream with excitement at the bar, Javier proudly pours you your sixth tequila shot.

“This one’s on the house my darling,  Y/N.” He pushed the shot glass in front of you and your eyes widen with excitement. You had to admit, you do have a thing for tequila so this man feeding you free drinks made the night all the better.

“You spoil me.” You winked as you took the shot and walked off to join the rest of your friends.

The night followed with more dancing and more drinks between your friends. At some point on the floor, you started to get tired and your craving for more drinks kicked in because you found yourself at the bar once again. This time you were looking for something more than a shot. “Okay, so it’s like a sex on the beach but like so much fruiter, like with strawberries!” You tried to explain but in your drunken state, Javier couldn’t help but laugh as he struggled listening to you.

“You know what? You tell me what to do and I’ll make it for you.” He said and a devious grin appeared on your face. So you watched, instructing him on how to make your special cocktail and when he finished, he threw a small umbrella inside it to serve you. You sipped it and couldn’t help but moan. It was glorious...Well maybe it would’ve been if you could taste it at all.

“Can I have what she’s having?” A baritone voice said beside you. You turned with your eyebrow raised. “And I’ll pay for hers.”

He reached into his wallet, still looking into your eyes as he handed Javier his card. You weren’t sure whether it was the alcohol or the fact you were practically pushed against each other with how packed the bar was but this man was...incredibly handsome. Rugged dirt blonde hair, bright blue eyes that gave you butterflies and his dark blue shirt didn’t help as you couldn’t help but stare at his chest from time to time. Javier turned back to make your drink for the stranger and handed it over to him. “If you’re going to have a cocktail, you’ve got to get it right. Strawberries with the ice.” He said with a smirk but you couldn’t hear him. Not with the music blasting over you...and his dreamy eyes. “What?” You tried to shout out. “I said-” He could barely get a word out in all the noise and you could see it. Quickly, you grabbed his hand and pulled him to a quieter table in the corner. “That’s better - wow.” He suddenly stopped himself when he took another look at you. “You’re really beautiful.” “Smooth.” You chuckled. Alright, so at this point, usually you would say thanks and dip to find your friends. However, this man, bless him, appeared mesmerized by you. He was in awe of you and not just looking at your chest or your figure as though he were some creep. You both hadn’t realised you were still holding hands, leaning into each other.

“Hey, that’s unfair! I’m not usually bold with women.” Something about the mystery man was telling you he was honest. “The strong and silent type is full of surprises.” He said and you swear to god, you could see even he knew what he was doing with that statement. To be honest, he was right. With those eyes, he wouldn’t have to say a single word to get you to go home with him. Throughout the night, you both kept rambling to each other about everything and nothing but you were both having fun, laughing together and putting each other at ease. Your friends must’ve noticed you because they were all staring at the two of you in awe, sharing drinks together, leaning into each other. Then ‘Someone New’ by Hozier began to play. Oh no. Any slow song that played while you were next to a man was a recipe for disaster. The mystery man ,on his high, pulled you closer. “Oh no, I can’t go out there!” You said. “Come on, what happened to that confidence I saw earlier?!” He laughed. “Listen, I can pick and choose when I want to be brave!” You snapped back. “Why are you so bold all of a sudden?!” “What can I say? You bring out a new side to me.” He laughed and before you could fight back, he managed to bring you to the floor. You couldn’t tell him why this was a bad idea but...maybe it wasn’t now you were in his arms, moving around the floor. He held you close and you didn’t want to leave. Not with the high of the drinks and after such a good night filled with laughter. Who knows? Maybe when you wake up the next day, you’d regret it. But for now, you were going to appreciate being here with him...but now you were filled with anticipation, you were craving something. Uh oh. You were craving him. Suddenly, a surge of confidence filled you and you looked up at him. He had already been looking at you. Quickly, he leaned in and you found yourselves kissing with a raw, fiery passion that remained unmatched. You could tell how much he wanted you. In fact, you could feel it as he pressed you against him. But you didn’t care. You ran your fingers through his hair, now the heated kiss becoming lazy until you bit his lip, catching him by surprise. When you pulled back breathlessly, he smirked. “Oh shut up, I know what you’re going to say.” You playfully pushed his chest.

The hangover the next day was going to be ridiculous but you didn’t care. The mystery man had you all over him, and he? All over you.

Rain violently bounced against the wall of your office. Across you sat Maisie, who happened to be an English lecturer. You were one of the lecturers, who had just finished your PHD in Media and Cultural Studies and when offered a job at the university, you couldn’t help yourself but stay. It was decent pay after all and after three years with the university, you realised your students loved you. There were wild lecturers in the school of arts department, who overshared and gladly you weren’t one of them but your students knew you well enough to seem relatable. However, you were hoping that today they would not quiz you on your hangover. Especially your seminar classes, they really loved hearing whatever you went through. Right now, you sat at the table, head against the desk of your office while Maisie watched you groan. “Oh my god.” Was all you could mumble. This was not how you wanted to spend your first week back of the second semester. Your head was pounding violently, you were nauseous, stomach turning. The only thing saving you was the cup of coffee you had in hand, after being forced to take an espresso shot, you were still practically dead. Maisie simply sat there shaking her head. God, she had no right to judge you after goading you into going out. “You should have known not to go hard on the drinks!” “But...free…” The words fell from your lips. “Javier gives free drinks all the time, I’m surprised it doesn’t get him fired. You should’ve known, he did this last time. Actually, that reminds me, where did you go last night?” And then you remembered. You went off with a mystery man, an incredibly handsome mystery man. That, you were fortunate enough to remember. With your head against the table, you smirked, so your friend wouldn’t see. “Don’t pretend as if we didn’t see you walking off and kissing that man, who by the way is a huge score! We spent all night fangirling about him.” Maisie said with excitement but all you could do was groan again, “Come on! You have to tell me! What happened?” “Nothing happened.” You mumbled into your arms. Okay something happened but you still didn’t want to say anything. “Don’t lie to me! You have to tell me, it was my birthday, meaning you have to tell me what YOU did on my day!”

You still refused to move. As your knight in shining armour, the Head of Faculty, Andrew stormed into the room, coffee mug and binder in hand. “Right! Who’s ready for a day full of learning ladies!” Maisie laughed as all you could let out was a groan. “Oh, not you too!” He let out an irritated huff. “This is ridiculous. Seems like there’s a lot of hangovers going around this morning.” “Really?” Maisie said, leaning forward with excitement. “Yeah, I just got off the phone with the guest lecturer. He is bloody hungover too. Could hear it in his voice.” Shit. Guest lecturer. One of the senior lecturers decided to go on a research leave mid-year, which didn’t help your cause as you were left with over one hundred students needing attention. That is when the head of faculty, Andrew, who you adored, decided to call in a guest lecturer, an industry expert in the field to provide you with support. Only thing is, Andrew was unpredictable, so you didn’t know who he had in store. You only knew he was a pretty popular journalist in Europe. Weren’t you supposed to be meeting him before the class? “He said he’s going to be running late.” Thank god for that. You didn’t need Andrew screaming at you about representing the university under a negative light. Before Andrew could get to scolding you, however, your alarm went off. Swiftly, you jumped up and swiped all your folders. “Class! Got to get to class!” Was all you could muster before leaving the room, and your colleagues, incredibly shocked.

Students filled the lecture hall for the first lesson of the semester, which didn’t surprise you. There were a lot of familiar faces as usual. A couple of new ones but most of the students knew when you were out of it and these were the ones present. Andrew followed you in, watching intently, hoping you wouldn’t screw this up. But everyone knew the rules. The moment your mug was placed against the desk, everyone was silent, eagerly listening to hear from you. “Morning everyone! Welcome back, I hope you have all had a wonderful Christmas break! Just know that for many of you who took my module last year, yes, I am currently in the process of grading your assignments and the results will be distributed next week. However, I am not here to talk about that. Right now, it is time to turn over a new page! So, for those of you that don’t know me, I am Dr. Y/N Y/LN. I am totally cool without the whole formal title and I am a lecturer in Media and Cultural studies and welcome to my module Introduction to Investigative Journalism. This is where we’ll be in touch with some of the world’s most notorious cases from the role investigative journalism played in the portrayal of criminals from the likes of Charles Ponzi, Pablo Escobar, Charles Bronson to female serial killers such as Velma Barfield and Judy Buenoano. We will be looking at cold cases such as the murder of Olof Palme to the story of D.B. Cooper and corruption amongst transnational and multinational companies such as the fall of Wennerstrom. I know this feels like a criminology course and having the stomach would be ideal, however this is incredibly interesting if you want to look into serious crimes and learn about political corruption. I mean I didn’t have the stomach at first but you learn to live with it.” The students laughed. Andrew was in awe of how professional you managed to be but then again that is why the university needed you. They knew you were the young voice they needed to liven things up and get students intrigued, no matter how hungover or ill you were. “ Now, as you know, Dr. Woodbridge has taken a research leave so today, I believe that Andrew has called in a guest lecturer who will be here throughout the second half of the module to provide support and as an industry expert will hopefully be able to answer the questions you all will have.”

Andrew stepped forward, grinning from ear to ear as he headed to the centre. He gave you a wink to praise the way you pulled yourself together and turned to the rest of the class. “Thank you very much, Y/N. Couldn’t have introduced the module better myself, you have me excited and I’m not even taking it! Anyway, without further ado, I am honoured to introduce to you all your guest lecturer today, he is an investigative journalist and co-owner of Swedish magazine, Millennium, Mikael Blomkvist!” The class gave an applause and so did you as the man walked through the door. Then your applause slowed...hang on a minute. Why did the name Mikael sound familiar? Mikael walked in with a smile, waving at the glass, sporting glasses and a warm cardigan, smiling but then he turned to you and then it hit you. This was YOUR mystery man!

[terrainofheartfelt]

"It's been more like a 'Choose Your Own Adventure'!" A Rufly Playlist

Finally, a use for my Dad(™) music taste! I threw in a few live recordings/rough sessions because that’s rock and roll, babey. YouTube link here

image sources: (x) (x) (x)

American Girl - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

If you think this isn’t a rufly song, then idk what to tell you.

And for one desperate moment there / He crept back in her memory / God, it's so painful when something that is so close / Is still so far out of reach

Light My Fire - The Doors

Making this playlist was fun because I got to imagine a lot of precanon Rufus/Lily, and how they came to be. And like, I can see Rufus covering a LOT of these, yk?

The time to hesitate is through / No time to wallow in the mire

Funny Feelin’ - Langhorne Slim

I can also see Rufus actually writing some of these. Like this one!

Well, I got my eye on you, baby / And I know I ain't the only one / But if you just say maybe / My lonely days would be done

Superstar - tswift

If you don’t project onto at least one tswift song can you even call it a ship playlist?

And I knew from the first note played / I'd be breaking all my rules to see you / You smile that beautiful smile and all the girls in the front row / Scream your name

Lay, Lady, Lay - Bob Dylan

Tour life vibes

His clothes are dirty but his, his hands are clean / And you’re the best thing that he’s ever seen

Fire - Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band

Your kisses they burn / But your heart stays cool

Fooled Around and Fell in Love - as performed by Morgan James

Because Lily Rhodes really did fuck around and find out.

Free, on my own is the way I used to be / Ah, but since I met you baby, love's got a hold on me

Don’t Let Me Down - The Beatles

Nothing says Lily & Rufus like a Beatles deep cut.

I'm in love for the first time / Don't you know it's gonna last

Shadows of the Night - Pat Benatar

80s rock vibes, babe!

You can cry tough baby, it's all right / You can let me down easy, but not tonight

She - as performed by She & Him

She may be the love that cannot hope to last / May come to me from shadows of the past

Can’t Buy Me Love - The Beatles

Tell me that you want the kind of things / That money just can't buy / I don't care too much for money / Money can't buy me love

Second Hand News - Fleetwood Mac

It’s breakup chapter time, y’all

I know there's nothing to say / Someone has taken my place

Hungry Heart - Bruce Springsteen

I met her in a Kingstown bar / We fell in love I knew it had to end / We took what we had and we ripped it apart / Now here I am down in Kingstown again

Piece of My Heart - as performed by Big Brother and the Holding Company

Have another little piece of my heart now, baby / Well, you know you got it, child, if it makes you feel good

Love Really Hurts Without You - Billy Ocean

In my head, this is the “Lily and her cavalcade of failed relationships post-Rufus” montage song

You walk like a dream and you make like you're queen of the action

Halls - Andrew McMahon in the Wilderness

This is the “Rufus touring post-Lily” montage song

Thought a broken heart could write a perfect song / And it did and I was right so now you're gone

Mulholland Drive - The Gaslight Anthem

Okay so we all know about the Dair & Rufly parallels, and this song nearly ended up on that playlist, but the vibe didn’t quite fit. And I think, in my heart of hearts, that this song (though probs more punk than Lincoln Hawk sounds) reads like Rufus could have written it. And there are lines that are so evocative of both Dair & Rufly like I still remember holding you, just out of sight of her - like! That’s Valentine’s day 2012 amirite??? And: But it scared you, love, to need someone, so you killed it all instead. And the imagery of Mulholland Drive with Lily being from LA...Anyways this song is one of my all time favorites.

Would you miss me if I was gone and all the simple things were lost? / Would you ever wait on me to say / Oh that I’d just die if you ever took your love away

Malibu 1922 - COIN

You're some old man's new trophy / Locked up in some house in New Jersey / Now money's not a problem / But 20 years it seems you've forgotten

How’s the World Treating You - Elvis Presley

Pilot Rufly vibes, but sad!

Every sweet thing that mattered / Has been broken in two / And I'm asking you, darling / How's the world treating you?

Even Cowgirls Get the Blues - The Gaslight Anthem

Pilot Rufly vibes, but sexy!

Can I get a witness, pretty baby? / I still love Tom Petty songs and drivin' old men crazy

It Ain’t Me Babe - Bob Dylan

“You made a choice to be Lily Bass, and we both need you to go do that.”

Go lightly from the ledge, babe / Go lightly on the ground / I’m not the one you want, babe / I will only let you down

Harvest Moon - Neil Young

It’s about the lovers to strangers to hostile acquaintances to friends to lovers again.

When we were strangers / I watched you from afar / When we were lovers / I loved you with all my heart

Home From Home - Roo Panes

“Well, it’s Thanksgiving, and I couldn’t think of another place that felt more like home.”

Because I'm starting to realise the question worth asking is, who? / I'm starting to realize the question worth answering is you

You Got Lucky - Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers

I mean. I mean they do fight a lot.

If you don't feel complete / If I don't take you all the way / Then go

Are We Free? - Mick Flannery and Susan O’Neill

I like how this whole song is a dialogue, but always comes together at the chorus

Are we free to understand / or bound to repeat again / all the wars of before?

The Bones feat. Hozier - Maren Morris

“The king and queen of reconciliation” - Dan Humphrey

No, it won't always go the way we planned it / But the wolves came and went and we're still standing

Songbird - Fleetwood Mac

They didn’t break up, what are you talking about?

And I love you, I love you, I love you / Like never before

Beginning to Feel the Years - Brandi Carlile

And I'm beginning to feel the years / But I'm going to be okay / As long as you're beside me--along the way

Call on Me - Big Brother and the Holding Company

Baby, when you're down and feel so blue / Well, no, you won't drown, honey, I'll be there too

Lily - Benjamin Gibbard

It was too perfect. I had no choice.

Lily is a big brass band who fills the air with song / Lily is a destination and she's where my arms belong

Hard Feelings - Brian Fallon

And the time used to stop in her hands / I could feel it go hesitant / When it rained in Manhattan / We took shelter in the spare room at the Grand

[laurbiek]

You don’t have to sing it nice, but honey sing it strong.

This is my first Andy fanfic, I hope you like it!

________________________________________________________

Playing festivals was one of Andrews favorite yearly traditions, but this year it was more important than ever. He missed the festival circut last year due to one very important development,

Eleanor

His daughter Eleanor was born last June and he was completley enamoured. He loved her little hands that loved to yank on his long brown hair, he loved the small doughy feet that, as of recently, started to toddle her around the house in search of trouble to caus, every little bit of her was perfect and Andrew relished in it.

His job was flexable enough that he could stay home with her most of the time, but he was starting to miss performing, and with the upcoming festival season, he needed to decide if he was going to miss a second year of performing.

During dinner one night, he brought it up to his wife, Y/N,

“Do you think its time thay I.. ehm.. start playing shows again?”, Y/N looked up from her plate,

“Well, you haven’t realy performed in over a year, and I know you miss it,”, she punctuated the first part of her statement by grabbing his hand, “Why don’t you play one closer to home and we can see how it goes?”

Andrew responded quickly,

“But what about naptime?”

Two months ago he would have reurned to performing, close by of course, without a second thought, but recently, Eleanor has grown a rather inconvienent habit for her father.

Eleanor would not go to sleep without her dad. She would cry and scream until he rushed into her room to save her from her sleepiness. He would gently pick her up, and sit in the rocking chair with her until she fell asleep with her small, soft fingers wrapped around one of Andrew’s long, caloused ones.

He didn’t want to leave Y/N with a crying toddler all day, but he was getting restless performing alone in his office at home.

After talking it over with his wife, and debating it with himself for a few days, he decided it was finally time to perform again, but with one difference. He was bringing the whole family along, that way when Eleanor needed a nap he could lull her to sleep like only he could.

-

The morning of, Andrew overpacked his bags, thinking of everything they might need and thensome. Y/N had to stop him from taking apart and packing Eleanor’s high chair.

As they were driving he realized that this would be Eleanors first concert, and he was proud that it was his own. When they parked and he looked at her smiling from the backseat, he realized he would never be able to tour again, at least without missing her terribly.

Walking into the little private area behind the stage, Eleanor got excited when she saw the familiar faces of her dad’s friends, Insisting that she get down to run and play with them. The whole band was glad he brought her along, they haven’t seen her in a little while and she was lovely to be around.

And then she got sleepy.

Everyone knew she was getting tired when she started to become clingy to her father, her little hands doing a grabbing motion towards him. Thats when Y/N broke out the carrier.

Origianly bought as a joke from Alex for Andrew, Y/N used it mostly to walk her around the neighborhood more comfortably. When Andrew used it the first time, Eleanor cried when they took her out of it. Ever since then he’s been wearing it to keep her close while she naps so he could still get some work done.

‘We have an hour until showtime’, he thought, ‘she’ll be awake by then’

He just sat with her for a while, eventually he did warm ups with her strapped to his chest. He looked down at the girl sleeping peacefully, and then at his watch,

He had five minutes to showtime.

He couldn’t put her down without waking her up, and he knew she wouln’t stop crying without him. He didn’t want to leave his wife alone with a crying toddler.

He made a rash decision.

Andrew grabbed an acousic, told his band mates his plan, and rushed on stage as fast as he could.

At least Eleanor’s first concert would be memorable!

The cheers from the crowd when they saw the musician come out from the wings quickly turned into coos when they saw that Hozier, had a baby strapped to his chest, asleep.

He reached the microphone quickly and stood there for a few seconds before leaning in to speak,

“Ehm.. Shes sleeping”, he said simply, the crowd laughing along with him. He looked down at Eleanor to make sure she was still sleeping.

“She’s been having trouble sleeping lately, and none of us had the heart to wake her up. So if it’s all right with you, I’m going to start with some of my... calmer songs until she wakes up on her own.”

The audience seemed to be ok with it as Andrew swung his guitar gently to his front, making sure not to hit his daughter in the process.

He started gently plucking ‘Wastland, Baby!’, switching his gaze from his guitar, to Eleanor, to the crowd. He played as carefully as he could, hoping she would wake up gently, and soon.

He then transitioned into ‘Cherry Wine’, and halfway through the second chorus she let out a cry, annoyed at the sudden loss of sleep. Her small hands reached up to grab at her fathers face.

Andrew quickly let go of his guitar and soothed her,

“I know that song is a sad one,” he said to her, the crowd once again laughing at his dry wit.

Eleanor quickly cheered up at the sight of her father, and Andrew rushed off stage and deposeted the child into the waiting arms of her mother. The rest of the band ran onstage with him, finally starting the set.

Every so often Andrew would look offstage to see Y/N holding Eleanor, the little girl smiling and sometimes even clapping. Even though she was only a baby, he couldn’t help but feel like she was proud of him.

Towards the end of the set, he looked over and she was asleep on her mother’s shoulder. Eleanor was so tired from the busy day she ignored her ‘it must be dad’ rule.

He was glad the phas seemed to be ending, but he hoped that sometimes, they could still have those quiet moments, alone in her nursury, father and daughter.

[moscow-jackboot]

Someone Old

Plot: Y/n sees her ex-boyfriend, Andrew Hozier-Byrne almost 3 years after their breakup. Y/N and Andrew started dating around the Fall of 2011 and broke up in December of 2016 because Andrew couldn’t balance his career/touring and their relationship. Y/N initiated the breakup due to Andrew’s neglect. They are seeing each other for the first time since their breakup in this story, which is set around October of 2019. I plan on doing some more writing with this storyline, some of it before the breakup and some it of afterwards.

Word Count: ~2.3k

“Do your friends know you’re here?” Andrew asked you timidly.

You smiled. He knew your friends weren’t fond of him after the breakup. “No. I didn’t want to give them a chance to talk me out of it.”

He nodded and finished his whiskey, motioning to the bartender for another.

“What about yours?” You asked hesitantly, wanting you to fill the silence.

“Yeah. I wasn’t sure if I should go through with it.”

Ouch.

He noticed the pained look on your face caused by his words and tried to fix it. “Not because I didn’t want to see you. I really wanted to see you tonight. Maybe too much. I just wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to disrupt your life like this.”

“You’re not disrupting my life at all, Andrew,” you reassured him. You never imagined that you’d be spending a Monday night after work seeing your ex-boyfriend perform at a theater half an hour from your apartment, and then going out for drinks afterward. When Andrew texted you asking if you wanted to see him when he was in town for a show later that month, you couldn’t bring yourself to say no. You considered pretending to be sick when you woke up this morning. You were too nervous about seeing him again after almost three years of no contact between you two.

“I didn’t think it would be so slow here tonight,” you commented.

“Well, it is Monday,” he said with a shy smile. You noticed that not only had his face thinned out a little since 2016, but apparently, he’d done something to his teeth. They were perfectly straight now. How could you miss something so big?

“So why did you reach out to me? I mean, I’m glad you did, but what made you decide to call me after almost three years without talking?” you asked, shifting your body towards him.

“I couldn’t handle being in your city on another tour and not even trying to see you again. It would drive me fucking crazy.”  

You knitted your eyebrows a little, pleasantly surprised by how candid his answer was.

“Did you want to talk about…?,” you trailed off, not wanting to say the words “the breakup.”

“Uh, yeah. There’s some stuff I never got to say. Is it… is it okay if I say it now?,” he asked you gently, not wanting to upset you.

“Better late than never,” you responded with a chuckle, which you were sure looked more like a grimace. He licked his lips and started talking.

“I ehm, I never wanted to hurt you. That...that truly wasn’t my intention. And I know that that sounds fucking ridiculous now, since how else could my behavior have affected you, you know? Ehm, of course, I hurt you. We were together for so many years, and we were so... intimate with each other.” He looked to you, cautious of his words. “And I don’t just mean sexually. You knew me inside and out. And I don’t think anyone can ever figure you out, but I think I was pretty close.” He smiled at you sheepishly. You chuckled and looked down shyly, your body filling up with the same feeling of warmth you’d felt the very first time you’d met Andrew all those years ago in university. You looked back up when you heard him speak again.

“I remember when we broke up, you asked me how I could throw you away after we’d shared so much of ourselves with each other….after we’d experienced so much life and-and... love together. And I just didn’t have an answer for you. And I hated that. I hated that so much. I hated that for you and I hated that for us. Because there’s never a good reason to not put somebody first when they’ve always been good to you. And you’re the one who got hurt because I was so focused on my career that I always let you —us— become my second priority. And losing you hurt for me too, but I earned that, you know?” The words rushed out of his mouth as if he’d been dying to say them for a long time.

You nodded, your eyes wide open, still absorbing every detail of his appearance after three years.

He continued. “Those were the consequences of my own actions. I always hated seeing you sad, or frustrated, or angry. And you felt all those things those last few months that we were together, and probably for months after. And I couldn’t fix it because I was the one who was making you feel that way.” He pursed his lips in thought.

“You never called.”

“Hm?,” He asked, raising his thick eyebrows. His green eyes looked so sweet and earnest. You’d always loved his eyes. They were the first eyes that made you understand the saying “the eyes are the window to the soul.”

“After we broke up. You just let me go. At first, I just thought you were giving me time to cool off, but then you didn’t try anymore. You never tried to get me back. You just let me walk out of your life and that really fucking hurt.”

“I didn’t think you’d take me back. And even if you did, I knew I didn’t deserve you again. You’re the most amazing person I have ever met and I absolutely destroyed everything we ever had. You deserved — deserve — someone who loves you too much to do what I did to you. And after all the shit I put you through, I just wanted you to be happy, and I knew I couldn’t do that for you anymore. I changed too much. I’d already been selfish and it tore us apart. I wasn’t going to be selfish again by asking to be in your life again when I didn’t have a place there.”

“That’s such a fucking cop-out. You could have made me happy if you just cared enough to try!,” you exclaimed, tears welling up. “Andrew, you said it yourself. We broke up because you stopped fucking caring. You stopped making me a priority. You treated me like shit. You would go on the road and you promised to call me every night and instead you left me by the phone crying myself to sleep wishing you would keep your promises. You would cancel trips to see me for gig offers or to record. The last year we were together, you forgot my birthday and our anniversary. You stopped caring, Andrew.” You waited a beat to verbalize how he’d made you feel all that time ago, amazed that you were able to keep yourself from raising your voice even if you were getting emotional. “I wasn’t important to you anymore.”

“Sweetheart, you were always important to me. I know I was kind of a shit boyfriend at the end, but you still meant the world to me.” Andrew said. You could see the heartache in his eyes. They were filled with tears too.

“Then why did you make me feel like I wasn’t?”

He sighed and looked down for a few moments, toying with the sleeves of his flannel shirt, something he’d always done when he was anxious. When he looked back up at you, a tear had fallen down his angular face. He closed his eyes and began to speak.

“I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. And…honestly, I didn’t realize that I was making you feel that way until almost the end of our relationship. I was too caught up in my own stuff. I wanted to make you proud, and I thought that doing more shows and bigger tours would accomplish that. And that was fucking stupid,” he said, shaking his head. He sighed and opened his green eyes, looking into yours. “Because after we broke up, I had a lot of time to think, and I realized that I didn’t need to perform in front of thousands of people to make you proud. You loved me before I had all this shit.”

“I did.”

“And I swore to myself that once the tour ended I would make it all up to you. That I would come home to you and I would spend time with you and just love you the way I used to...the way that you needed me to.”

“How was I supposed to know that though, Andrew?”

“I don’t know. I should’ve told you. I realize that now. I stopped opening up to you like I used to. Ehm... we stopped opening up to each other.”

You didn’t say anything. You just stared at him. You didn’t know what to say. For the longest time, you’d wished he would admit his wrongdoings and take responsibility for everything. Now he was finally doing it and you didn’t know what to say. He seemed to close off a little in response to your hesitation. He cleared his throat and straightened up a little.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have asked you to come here. I just knew that if I didn’t I’d regret it forever. And I don’t want to live with any more regrets when it comes to you.” He paused, and held your gaze for a moment, as if to ask for permission to say more. You nodded slightly, urging him to continue. “I didn’t think you’d come. I-I didn’t think you’d answer my text. I thought you hated me,” he said gently, looking down.

“Oh, Andy,” you put your hand on his bare wrist, which was exposed by his sleeve that had ridden up. He looked up when you said his nickname. “I could never hate you. Never. Even when we’d just broken up, I didn’t hate you. In fact, I still loved you so so much. I wanted to hate you sometimes. It would’ve made getting over you a whole lot easier. But you don’t stop loving someone just because they hurt you.” You paused for a little bit, unsure about whether or not you wanted to say what you were thinking. You decided you would, because you didn’t want to regret anything about this night either. “I still love you,” you said moving your hand down to his.

“I still love you too, baby. So much. So fucking much,” he confessed, wrapping his large, pale hands around yours.

Your heart fluttered when he said those words. You hadn’t heard them in almost three years. You weren’t sure you’d ever hear them from him again, but hearing them sparked something in you.

“You do? I thought you moved on.”

“I never stopped loving you though. Moving on from you didn’t mean that I stopped loving you. It just meant that I learned to live without you. I still think about you all the time. I always wonder how you’re doing...how life is treating you. I miss everything about you, y/n. The big things, like how you always supported me and stood by me; and the little things, like the smell of your hair when you’d put your head on my chest before bed or watching you play with Elwood. Or the way you’d make me porridge, and how you’d always insist on calling it oatmeal. I even miss you hogging the bathroom getting ready even though I always thought you looked beautiful no matter what.”

“Well you don’t have to miss me anymore, Andy,” you said earnestly.

“What do you mean? You wanna do this again?”

You nodded, your hands still intertwined.

His entire demeanor changed. His emerald green eyes went from looking anxious to hopeful. He licked his lips and started searching for his next words. “I ,ehm, I won’t be in town again for a little while because we still have about another month of touring. But once it’s over, maybe I can spend some time here and we can just, ehm, catch up-“

You cut him off. “No I mean, I want to try this again. Us.”

He raised his eyebrows, his mouth slightly open in surprise.

His silence instantly made you regret the risk you took with your words. “I mean, only if you want to. If you don’t want to, or if you’re already seeing someone, then you can just forget I said anythi-“

“Of course I do, y/n.”

“Okay, then...good,” you said with a grin. “But Andy,” you paused, gathering your thoughts. He looked at you intently, leaning in slightly. “Things have to be different this time around. I mean it. If you don’t treat me right, I’m out the door for good this time.”

He nodded his head, his wild, post-show hair moving with him. “I know, darling. I learned my lesson. Trust me. I don’t want to mess things up this time around. I feel really lucky to be able to do what I do, but I was even luckier to have you.”

“You’re such a fucking cornball,” you said, laughing loudly, but melting inside. You smoothed your hair and looked around, trying to hide the fact that you couldn’t stop smiling. That’s when you noticed that there was hardly anyone left in the bar. Andrew seemed to notice as well.

“Should we...?” you both asked at the same time with a chuckle.

“Yeah we should probably get going,” you answered your own question, getting off the barstool.

“Is it okay if I do something first?,” he asked softly, his tone cautious.

“Yeah, of course,” you responded, wondering what he had in mind. Your curiosity was satisfied a few seconds later when he tenderly pulled you closer with one hand on your waist on and the other on your face. He leaned down, his eyes closing. You stood up on your toes, grateful that you’d chosen to wear your heels that not only made your legs look long, but made his lips that much easier to reach without straining. Everything fell into place for the first time since that December night three years ago as he put his perfect pink lips on yours.

“I missed you too, you know,” you whispered before kissing him again.

-

This is my first time writing any kind of fanfic. Constructive, respectful criticism and feedback is welcome and appreciated!

[fics-not-tragedies]

In a Week: Chapter 19 🌲

This chapters is sponsored by temptation and lustful thoughts, so please enjoy it!

Words: 2377; Warnings: first, but minor, smut warning for this chapter; Summary: Andrew was well deserved to be pushed into the pool by Flo and now she runs around his mind making endless loops.

Hozier tag list:

@letoursilencebreaktonight​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​; @angelpeachamber​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​; @sgt-morgan​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​; @julessbrown​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​​;

Tuesday, 6pm

Andrew was frustrated. He couldn’t find anything witty to say as she walked away from him. He watched her leave speechlessly before he dared to move, wanted her to have that satisfaction of the win, knew she deserved it. As he hauled himself out of the water, he could have sworn the ten year old kid laughing at him had snapped a picture, but he didn’t have time to pay attention, needed to take a cold shower immediately.

To his annoyance, the spray of the shower in his cubicle was intermittently too hot then too cold, doing nothing to calm him down. Andrew desperately tried to blink out all of his obscene thoughts prompted by the way she wiggled her ass at him. She was a fucking tease, especially when she knew how badly he wanted her, but he couldn’t deny for a second that he loved it. He ran his hands back through his hair and washed the pool scent from his body with his hands.

Even just touching his own chest felt too dirty, especially when he couldn’t think about anything but Flo’s body in that too tight swimsuit. And he couldn’t help but imagine her with him now, the idea of fucking her against the wall too good to repress. He wouldn’t even bother undressing her, would simply move the material out of his way and skip the teasing she was asking for, too hungry, too desperate, too close to giving her everything. Andrew almost choked on his staggered breath, too aware of how aroused he was when he looked down at the sudden movement in his shorts, thankful he was alone.

Andrew double and triple checked the door behind him, ensuring nobody could get in. He paced for a second or two in the limited space of the shower cubicle, the pent up energy refusing to fade and as his breathing increased, his arousal grew. He couldn’t get her out of his head, her twisted smirk, her tits threatening to spill over the flimsy material whenever she made the slightest of movements, the confidence he helped her finding too much to handle. He blinked a couple of his times, trying to reason with himself.

But as aware as he was that she was waiting for him, he was certain he wouldn’t be able to think straight until he dealt with his need. So, without a second of reconsideration, he began to palm himself through his shorts eagerly with one hand. With the other hand he fumbled with the knot in the front of them, frustrated by his past self for being so meticulous about how he tied it and hissed with relief when they dropped to his ankles and he freed his cock at last. He stroked his semi-hard length gently, worried that any harsher movements would make him moan in a way that he couldn’t control, but he was already shaking.

He turned his mind back to Flo and how desperately he wanted her. He thought about how good it’d feel to push his length inside her, hold her hips down so she could take him, feel her heat envelope him and keep him close, squeezing him tightly with her wetness dripping down the thighs he adored so much. He hated how hard she made him without even being here, how easy it was for her to have him reeling over the mere thought of her when she wasn’t even trying and began running his hand over his cock with more force, the sensation too good to deny himself of.

The rhythmic flicks of his wrist satisfied him greatly and whilst there was relief in touching himself, fucking his palm in the way that he was doing so now, his body was also tense, shaking with how bad he needed her. As the spray from the shower fell down over his body, he looked down at himself, the purplish head of his cock disappearing into his tight fist over and over again, hips jerking with little control. His arm already ached from how much he was straining it, the muscles tight and bulging. Hair was falling into his face, wet and he didn’t have the energy or strength to push it back. He furrowed his brow, getting lost in the sudden heat after the water had been so cold for so long and bit the inside of his cheek, desperately trying to hold himself together when all he wanted was to come undone at the thought of her.

His head fell against the wall of the shower loudly, eyes closing so that he could picture her and only her as he hovered closer to the feeling of letting go, obsessed. He tried to imagine Flo’s hand tugging at him instead of his own. He thought about her long delicate fingers and her imperfectly painted nails, the way she wrapped her hand around his bicep, his knee, touched his chest, locked her fingers with his. Andrew had always been aware of the fact that he wanted her, but his need to be inside her was carnal now. He wanted to make her tremble and writhe underneath him, find out what her moans sounded like when they echoed off the walls of the tight space he was in, be the one and only reason for them.

Knowing he was close now, his spare hand stroked and tugged at his balls to elicit that throbbing he craved and he shifted his hips up into his palm, back against the tiled wall, squeezing himself and fucking his fist until he was panting. Then, with a sudden low growl he couldn’t keep repressed and a slight tremble from his lips that formed her name, he watched himself shake, his thick cum oozing from the tip of his cock. Thankful the noise of his grunting was covered somewhat by the rushing of water, he stroked himself until he felt empty, spreading it over his shaft as he came down from the high, the mess dripping over his hand and through his fingers.

His cheeks flushing at the sticky mess he made for her without her even knowing, he closed his eyes again and panted whilst he tried to control himself. He washed himself down, standing under the shower head for longer than necessary. He hoped that relieving himself would at least exorcise her from his mind, but she was still there and every time he tried to think of something new, she wriggled her way back. Turning the shower off at last, he stepped out and patted himself down with the towel, still out of breath. As he dressed he chuckled to himself, remembering the way he annoyed her, worth it for her satisfied smirk when she pushed him in the pool and though he hadn’t expected her reaction at all, looking back now it didn’t surprise him. Making sure there was no concrete evidence of what he’d done in his moment of weakness, he exited the cubicle.

Tuesday, 6:15pm

After washing his hands at the sink in the far corner, Andrew rubbed his face and stared himself down in the mirror. His lips were swollen from how shallow his breathing was and he swallowed dryly as he fought to hold onto any shred of control knowing he’d given so much of it to her just by fucking his fist to the mirage of her. The shower had helped a little but his eyes were still red and stingy from the chlorine and from how much he ached for her. Knowing there was no way to fix his appearance now, his upper chest a little pink, hair a mess no matter what he tried, he exited the changing rooms with a dire need to see her face again, silently hoping he could hold himself together.

Tuesday, 6:20pm

Flo was waiting with her arms crossed, lean against the pillar in the middle of the reception with her head slightly dipped. She washed, dressed and combed her hair through in minutes and had been waiting for him patiently. And even though he’d been gone longer than she’d expected she told herself he was just probably fighting with his hair. She looked up when she sensed his presence in the room at last, her eyes adjusting as he walked toward her. His hair was still damp and more of a mess than she’d ever seen it, though she could tell he tried at least to comb it through with his fingers. His skin a little pink and sweaty and though she wanted to question it, she decided it would give him the satisfaction of knowing she was staring. He had managed to squeeze back into his jeans and his jacket was hanging over his shoulder.

“Took your time…” she tutted as he stopped in front of her, but she was smiling at him nonetheless, eyes bright and general posture much more calm than his. She was wearing the same dress she chosen that morning, showing plenty of skin, reminding Andrew just how quickly he could be inside her just by pushing up her skirt. Clearly he wasn’t over the dirty thoughts just yet. She tied her straw hair back into a bun and it killed him - how effortlessly cute she was without her makeup, with her hair out of her face.

“Yes, sorry…” he grumbled, scratching his throat uneasily, “I got… em, a bit lost…” He was paranoid that something gave him away but could tell she hadn’t caught on from the way she was smiling, so carefree.

“Why are you pouting at me?” She asked, eyebrows raised at him as she waited for an answer. Her eyes drifted over his neck and he almost flinched.

“Me? Pouting? I don’t think so…”

“You are always pouting at me and giving me puppy eyes, Andrew.”

“Oh, no no, I’m not” he stated, lips curled. Flo laughed in response, could sense a little tension in his body that she wanted to soothe, “What are we doing now?” he asked grumpily, trying to change the subject.

“I’m hungry” she told him firmly, grabbing his forearm arm in a way that was enough to make Andrew lose his mind at the way her fingers wound around him, “We’re gonna eat.”

Tuesday, 6:30pm

No more than ten minutes later they were sat in the restaurant, at a table with white table cloths, Andrew pulling out Flo’s chair before the waiter could offer. Though he didn’t regret his actions in the shower one bit, it hadn’t satisfied his cravings in the way he’d expected and he also felt strangely guilty for leaving her waiting whilst he took the edge off his desire, so was subconsciously trying to make up for it now.

“Such a gentleman” she laughed, as he pushed it back in.

“You know me” he replied, the irony of his words striking him.

He walked slowly round to his side of the table. Andrew sat down in his chair in a sort of slump, spreading his legs a little wider than usual to make up for the way he was aching. With his cock trapped behind his boxers and his jeans, he didn’t dare to look at her for a moment longer than necessary, worried what she’d do to him just with her wicked smile and her tits pushed up against the fabric of her dress like they were. Settled for at least a moment, he graciously tipped his head as the waiter handed them their menus and gave them a lengthy explanation about the specials and the soup of the day.

Though Flo was in fact hungry, she couldn’t focus on the waiter fully. She was preoccupied by Andrew, watched him wriggle in his seat uncomfortably out of the corner of her eye as she nodded along to the mention of tomato and basil soup. If his fidgeting wasn’t enough, he stretched his arm like it ached, wincing a little dramatically. Then he squeezed his hand into a tight fist and released it again, repeating the movement over and over in an attempt to ease something she didn’t quite understand. He was fine before. After giving Andy a look just as concerned as hers was, the waiter left them to make their decisions.

Andrew was struggling, in more ways than one. The ache from how he was so tense in the shower was worse than he’d realized possible, but the way she lean forward over to speak to him was even harder to ignore.

“Andrew, what’s wrong?”

He looked across at her tentatively, the way her lips parted when she said his name so delectable and he couldn’t stop replaying it in his head. She wasn’t even meaning to push him over the edge, but he was going to fucking lose it. He could feel a twitch from his crotch, a sign of his undeniable arousal for her and he formed a fist then flattened his palm to readjust himself, hoping she wouldn’t notice, hoping nobody else would notice. He swallowed sharply at the realization he was semi-hard in his pants again, struggling to think properly with her looking so deliciously innocent. He wanted to ruin her, wanted her to moan his name over and over whilst he gave her everything he’d been dreaming of. Partly as a distraction, he stretched his arm again, annoyed with the pain that had built there.

“You alright?” Flo asked, a hint of genuine concern in her voice.

“I got a cramp…” he sighed, frustrated with himself.

“In one arm?” Her eyebrows raised again when he lifted his gaze to her at last.

“Yes…”

“Been lonely in your hotel room, Andy?” She teased mercilessly after a beat, too close to the truth, but so unaware of it.

“If you only knew, Flo, honey…” he said, swallowing hard before quickly changing the subject back to the food, “What are you ordering?”

“I’m not sure…” she mumbled, hesitantly turning back to her menu and scanning it with her eyes. She looked up at him again briefly, his wriggling and stretching unnerving, wasn’t convinced he was okay, could tell he was lying at least a little bit, or covering something up, but didn’t want to push him.

[moscowjackboot]

We’ve Got Tonight

Previously titled “Someone Old”

Plot: Y/n sees her ex-boyfriend, Andrew Hozier-Byrne almost 3 years after their breakup. Y/N and Andrew started dating around the Fall of 2011 and broke up in December of 2016 because Andrew couldn’t balance his career/touring and their relationship. Y/N initiated the breakup due to Andrew’s neglect. They are seeing each other for the first time since their breakup in this story, which is set around October of 2019. I plan on doing some more writing with this storyline, some of it before the breakup and some it of afterwards.

Word Count: ~2.3k

“Do your friends know you’re here?” Andrew asked you timidly.

You smiled. He knew your friends weren’t fond of him after the breakup. “No. I didn’t want to give them a chance to talk me out of it.”

He nodded and finished his whiskey, motioning to the bartender for another.

“What about yours?” You asked hesitantly, wanting you to fill the silence.

“Yeah. I wasn’t sure if I should go through with it.”

Ouch.

He noticed the pained look on your face caused by his words and tried to fix it. “Not because I didn’t want to see you. I really wanted to see you tonight. Maybe too much. I just wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to disrupt your life like this.”

“You’re not disrupting my life at all, Andrew,” you reassured him. You never imagined that you’d be spending a Monday night after work seeing your ex-boyfriend perform at a theater half an hour from your apartment, and then going out for drinks afterward. When Andrew texted you asking if you wanted to see him when he was in town for a show later that month, you couldn’t bring yourself to say no. You considered pretending to be sick when you woke up this morning. You were too nervous about seeing him again after almost three years of no contact between you two.

“I didn’t think it would be so slow here tonight,” you commented.

“Well, it is Monday,” he said with a shy smile. You noticed that not only had his face thinned out a little since 2016, but apparently, he’d done something to his teeth. They were perfectly straight now. How could you miss something so big?

“So why did you reach out to me? I mean, I’m glad you did, but what made you decide to call me after almost three years without talking?” you asked, shifting your body towards him.

“I couldn’t handle being in your city on another tour and not even trying to see you again. It would drive me fucking crazy.”  

You knitted your eyebrows a little, pleasantly surprised by how candid his answer was.

“Did you want to talk about…?,” you trailed off, not wanting to say the words “the breakup.”

“Uh, yeah. There’s some stuff I never got to say. Is it… is it okay if I say it now?,” he asked you gently, not wanting to upset you.

“Better late than never,” you responded with a chuckle, which you were sure looked more like a grimace. He licked his lips and started talking.

“I ehm, I never wanted to hurt you. That…that truly wasn’t my intention. And I know that that sounds fucking ridiculous now, since how else could my behavior have affected you, you know? Ehm, of course, I hurt you. We were together for so many years, and we were so… intimate with each other.” He looked to you, cautious of his words. “And I don’t just mean sexually. You knew me inside and out. And I don’t think anyone can ever figure you out, but I think I was pretty close.” He smiled at you sheepishly. You chuckled and looked down shyly, your body filling up with the same feeling of warmth you’d felt the very first time you’d met Andrew all those years ago in university. You looked back up when you heard him speak again.

“I remember when we broke up, you asked me how I could throw you away after we’d shared so much of ourselves with each other….after we’d experienced so much life and-and… love together. And I just didn’t have an answer for you. And I hated that. I hated that so much. I hated that for you and I hated that for us. Because there’s never a good reason to not put somebody first when they’ve always been good to you. And you’re the one who got hurt because I was so focused on my career that I always let you —us— become my second priority. And losing you hurt for me too, but I earned that, you know?” The words rushed out of his mouth as if he’d been dying to say them for a long time.

You nodded, your eyes wide open, still absorbing every detail of his appearance after three years.

He continued. “Those were the consequences of my own actions. I always hated seeing you sad, or frustrated, or angry. And you felt all those things those last few months that we were together, and probably for months after. And I couldn’t fix it because I was the one who was making you feel that way.” He pursed his lips in thought.

“You never called.”

“Hm?,” He asked, raising his thick eyebrows. His green eyes looked so sweet and earnest. You’d always loved his eyes. They were the first eyes that made you understand the saying “the eyes are the window to the soul.”

“After we broke up. You just let me go. At first, I just thought you were giving me time to cool off, but then you didn’t try anymore. You never tried to get me back. You just let me walk out of your life and that really fucking hurt.”

“I didn’t think you’d take me back. And even if you did, I knew I didn’t deserve you again. You’re the most amazing person I have ever met and I absolutely destroyed everything we ever had. You deserved — deserve — someone who loves you too much to do what I did to you. And after all the shit I put you through, I just wanted you to be happy, and I knew I couldn’t do that for you anymore. I changed too much. I’d already been selfish and it tore us apart. I wasn’t going to be selfish again by asking to be in your life again when I didn’t have a place there.”

“That’s such a fucking cop-out. You could have made me happy if you just cared enough to try!,” you exclaimed, tears welling up. “Andrew, you said it yourself. We broke up because you stopped fucking caring. You stopped making me a priority. You treated me like shit. You would go on the road and you promised to call me every night and instead you left me by the phone crying myself to sleep wishing you would keep your promises. You would cancel trips to see me for gig offers or to record. The last year we were together, you forgot my birthday and our anniversary. You stopped caring, Andrew.” You waited a beat to verbalize how he’d made you feel all that time ago, amazed that you were able to keep yourself from raising your voice even if you were getting emotional. “I wasn’t important to you anymore.”

“Sweetheart, you were always important to me. I know I was kind of a shit boyfriend at the end, but you still meant the world to me.” Andrew said. You could see the heartache in his eyes. They were filled with tears too.

“Then why did you make me feel like I wasn’t?”

He sighed and looked down for a few moments, toying with the sleeves of his flannel shirt, something he’d always done when he was anxious. When he looked back up at you, a tear had fallen down his angular face. He closed his eyes and began to speak.

“I didn’t mean to make you feel that way. And…honestly, I didn’t realize that I was making you feel that way until almost the end of our relationship. I was too caught up in my own stuff. I wanted to make you proud, and I thought that doing more shows and bigger tours would accomplish that. And that was fucking stupid,” he said, shaking his head. He sighed and opened his green eyes, looking into yours. “Because after we broke up, I had a lot of time to think, and I realized that I didn’t need to perform in front of thousands of people to make you proud. You loved me before I had all this shit.”

“I did.”

“And I swore to myself that once the tour ended I would make it all up to you. That I would come home to you and I would spend time with you and just love you the way I used to…the way that you needed me to.”

“How was I supposed to know that though, Andrew?”

“I don’t know. I should’ve told you. I realize that now. I stopped opening up to you like I used to. Ehm… we stopped opening up to each other.”

You didn’t say anything. You just stared at him. You didn’t know what to say. For the longest time, you’d wished he would admit his wrongdoings and take responsibility for everything. Now he was finally doing it and you didn’t know what to say. He seemed to close off a little in response to your hesitation. He cleared his throat and straightened up a little.

“Maybe I shouldn’t have asked you to come here. I just knew that if I didn’t I’d regret it forever. And I don’t want to live with any more regrets when it comes to you.” He paused, and held your gaze for a moment, as if to ask for permission to say more. You nodded slightly, urging him to continue. “I didn’t think you’d come. I-I didn’t think you’d answer my text. I thought you hated me,” he said gently, looking down.

“Oh, Andy,” you put your hand on his bare wrist, which was exposed by his sleeve that had ridden up. He looked up when you said his nickname. “I could never hate you. Never. Even when we’d just broken up, I didn’t hate you. In fact, I still loved you so so much. I wanted to hate you sometimes. It would’ve made getting over you a whole lot easier. But you don’t stop loving someone just because they hurt you.” You paused for a little bit, unsure about whether or not you wanted to say what you were thinking. You decided you would, because you didn’t want to regret anything about this night either. “I still love you,” you said moving your hand down to his.

“I still love you too, baby. So much. So fucking much,” he confessed, wrapping his large, pale hands around yours.

Your heart fluttered when he said those words. You hadn’t heard them in almost three years. You weren’t sure you’d ever hear them from him again, but hearing them sparked something in you.

“You do? I thought you moved on.”

“I never stopped loving you though. Moving on from you didn’t mean that I stopped loving you. It just meant that I learned to live without you. I still think about you all the time. I always wonder how you’re doing…how life is treating you. I miss everything about you, y/n. The big things, like how you always supported me and stood by me; and the little things, like the smell of your hair when you’d put your head on my chest before bed or watching you play with Elwood. Or the way you’d make me porridge, and how you’d always insist on calling it oatmeal. I even miss you hogging the bathroom getting ready even though I always thought you looked beautiful no matter what.”

“Well you don’t have to miss me anymore, Andy,” you said earnestly.

“What do you mean? You wanna do this again?”

You nodded, your hands still intertwined.

His entire demeanor changed. His emerald green eyes went from looking anxious to hopeful. He licked his lips and started searching for his next words. “I ,ehm, I won’t be in town again for a little while because we still have about another month of touring. But once it’s over, maybe I can spend some time here and we can just, ehm, catch up-“

You cut him off. “No I mean, I want to try this again. Us.”

He raised his eyebrows, his mouth slightly open in surprise.

His silence instantly made you regret the risk you took with your words. “I mean, only if you want to. If you don’t want to, or if you’re already seeing someone, then you can just forget I said anythi-“

“Of course I do, y/n.”

“Okay, then…good,” you said with a grin. “But Andy,” you paused, gathering your thoughts. He looked at you intently, leaning in slightly. “Things have to be different this time around. I mean it. If you don’t treat me right, I’m out the door for good this time.”

He nodded his head, his wild, post-show hair moving with him. “I know, darling. I learned my lesson. Trust me. I don’t want to mess things up this time around. I feel really lucky to be able to do what I do, but I was even luckier to have you.”

“You’re such a fucking cornball,” you said, laughing loudly, but melting inside. You smoothed your hair and looked around, trying to hide the fact that you couldn’t stop smiling. That’s when you noticed that there was hardly anyone left in the bar. Andrew seemed to notice as well.

“Should we…?” you both asked at the same time with a chuckle.

“Yeah we should probably get going,” you answered your own question, getting off the barstool.

“Is it okay if I do something first?,” he asked softly, his tone cautious.

“Yeah, of course,” you responded, wondering what he had in mind. Your curiosity was satisfied a few seconds later when he tenderly pulled you closer with one hand on your waist on and the other on your face. He leaned down, his eyes closing. You stood up on your toes, grateful that you’d chosen to wear your heels that not only made your legs look long, but made his lips that much easier to reach without straining. Everything fell into place for the first time since that December night three years ago as he put his perfect pink lips on yours.

“I missed you too, you know,” you whispered before kissing him again.

[hozierfic]

Submission by @ineffable-nalu​

Hey this is my first Hozier fic, and my first time ever posting a submission of my wiritng on Tumblr, I’m kind of scared but YOLO right ? I don’t know how this works if that wasn’t obvious. Well hope someone enjoys it. I think it will be a couple of chapters if someone likes it!

Thanks!

Calliope’s POV

The sound of Marimba fills the room waking me up in a bed that isn’t my own which sucks, even if it’s a fancy hotel room bed, there’s just something peaceful about waking up home knowing that it’s your space your time no rush even when you are rushing. Is any of this even making sense ?

I sigh as I look over at the clock, it’s 5 minutes passed 8 and I really should get up and start getting ready. Rolling out of bed and stretching out my joints I make my way into the bathroom for a shower, I really need the wake up call.

Nearly 30 minutes later and I’m done getting ready, my curly brown hair is as tamed as it can be and I decided on being as casual as acceptable when your sister is a super model, considering I’m meeting her for brunch I can’t show up in sweats, so I opted for skinny black jeans, a black turtle neck and my favorite high heel boot. I put on my liner and a red lip and grabbing my coat before stepping out, it’s still early and I’m not meeting Harmonia until later, but there are a few things I’d like to do.

I’m only in New York for 1 more day and I can’t miss the oprotunity to go to check out the Stephen A. Schwarzman library. You see I’m a published author, well a barely published author I wrote a fantasy novel that is supposed to be a trilogy, it was published 5 months ago and I was surprised by the fact that people really liked it, so here I am on my book tour. Thinking about my reading tonight I entered the elevator and pushed the button for lobby when I heard someone shout

“Hold the lift please” My hand jupms out at the closing doors and a tall man rushes in as they close “Thanks for that, you’re going down too? Great” he says in a charming Irish accent as he pushes the lobby button again and leans back on the wall with and took the guitar case strapped off of his shoulder

I took this as my chance to check him out. I was wrong he’s not tall, he’s very tall, I would say over 2 meters probably, his hair is long and hectic, curly and frizzy but god does it work for him. I was startled out my daze when the elevator jumped slightly, the lights flickering making me almost fall over if not for my reflexes and the rail I would’ve fallen, it made another clunking noise before finally stopping in place

“What the hell ?” I asked looking up at the counter that shows you what floor you’re on only to see it’s stuck between the fourth and fifth floor. Perfect.

“I do belive it’s stuck” The handsome stranger says and I look at him over my shoulder with an arched brow as if to say ‘Really I hadn’t noticed’

Sighing back into the wall I answered

“Yeah, it seems so. I just can’t belive that these things actually happen. I mean for 23 years I have never been stuck in an elevator and then this one, in a 5 star hotel may I add decides to brake down. Doesn’t this sort of thing usually happen in movies ?” I ramble on and look up to him as he just startes at me with an amused look on his face

“ Yes I think it does usually happen in movies, but in real life as well. I’ve been stuck in a lift before don’t worry they’ll get us out soon. You’re not claustrophobic are you ?”

I snort-laughed at his question

“No, and thank god, that would be unpleasant. For the both of us”

he nodded and extented his hand towards me “The name’s Andrew” cute name, it suits him I though as I shook his and smiled at him “Calliope”

“The Greek muse of epic poetry ? In the flesh ?” he gasped putting his hand on his heart “Forgive me my lady for I hadn’t a clue as to who’s presence I was in” he said dramatically making me scoff playfully, can you a blame a girl for flirting a little ? He’s gorgeous.

“If only you were half as funy as you think you are, you could be a comedian. My parents are historians and Greek mythology fanatics I would say, my sister’s name is Harmonia” he chuckled at that

“How do you know I’m not ? A comedian I mean. and I like your name, it suits you. I can see you isnpiring Homer to write the Illiad”

I chucked at that “Because you’re not funny, and that’s kind of esential to being a comedian. And If only I could inspire my self to write” I said the last part somewhat softly but he heard any way

“Oh, you’re a writer then ?” I turned my head to look at him, then realized he is a good head and a half taller so I craned my neck and shurgged “I suppose I am, barley”

He laughed at that and sat on the floor “What does 'Being barley a writer’ even mean ? You either are or you aren’t”

Following his example I plopped on the floor as well and sighed “ I am a writer, just been going through a funk and can’t seem to write a god damn word, you know ? Sometimes I think the first one was just a lucky break and I’m not actually a good writer” I stopped myself before I could continue, what was wrong with ne ? Just spilling my guts out to this beautiful relative stranger.

Andrew nods his head as he looks at me before leaning back and looking at the roof of the box we were currently trapped in “ I actually know well what that’s like”

“Are you a writer as well ?” I asked

“No, musician” his head tilts to the guitar next to him and I almost facepalm, what am I an idiot of course he’s a musician

“Oh yeah obviously, sorry I haven’t really had coffe yet so I’m a bit slow. Are you in a band ?” I ask him and he nods

“Don’t worry about it I feel the same, can barely keep my eyes open. And yes I am in a band” he says with a smile

“That’s cool, you do look familliar. Wait don’t tell me” I hold my hand up and I can see he’s trying to hold back a laugh, but he listens and sits back as I inspect him, top to bottom

“Ok, you’re Irish, you play the guitar but you also write the songs and you’re in a band.”

I mumble to myself as I look into his beautiful hazel eyes he smiled at me seeming quite entertained, brushing off his looks I keep thinking.

I know I’ve seen him but where ? “Andrew ? Andrew ? Where do-” and the it hit me and I jumped to my feet

“Oh, Oh I got it!”

I said loudly and this time he does laugh as he looks at me take my seat again “Already ? I was kind of enjoying the attention and proximity” I shoved his shoulder playfully

“Andrew Hozier-Byrne, How did I not see it ? I mean I love your music” I say laughing at myself for not seeing it.

“Ding ding, we have a winner.” He laughs

“To be perfectly honest I never looked at who was singing too engrossed in the lyrics and melodies . But your music is hauntingly beautiful you know ?”

I tell him and his face shifts from amusement to flattery and a bit of embarrassment

“Uhm, thanks always nice to know people like the music I create” he says scuffing his hair as he talks.

“And don’t even worry about not recognizing me, I prefer being as anonymous as possible”

I smile at him placing my head on the wall

“I can imagine how hectic life can be for a world renown musician” I say gently and he nods in agreement

“You are a writer though. Your music is poetry. If you were born in the 16th century you would’ve given Marlowe and Shakespeare a run fir their money”

He laughs at my statement rolling his head over to look at me

“That is high praise I am humbled, you said you have a book published?”

“Yeah, I’ve had the idea for it for so long and I finished the first book about a year ago, it was published about 6 months ago”

“What’s it called maybe I’ve read it ?”

I really laugh at that shaking my head “Oh no, no you haven’t trust me”

His brows furrow a bit at my words

“Why so self deprecating? I’m sure I’ve heard or read about it if not actually read. Come on” he urged making me want to sigh.

“Keepers of the rift” I say after a moment of silence.

“No way” he says quietly making me look at him “What ?”

Andrew beams at me akin to a child on Christmas morning “I absolutely loved your book, are you kidding me ? You’re Cal Andjelkovic? ”

he bewildered completely butchering my last name making me laugh

“It’s Andjelkovic actually but yes, I shortened the name. And you actually read my book ?”

I asked seemingly suspicious but in all honesty just sort of stunned. I still can’t believe that anyone’s read my book let alone well known artist

“Yes, yes I stumbled across it in a book shop while we were touring The UK and since you spend 90% if your free time on a bus while touring I love to fill the time by reading.

And when I started yours I couldn’t put it down until I finished it”

He said sincerely and it warmed every part of me.

I’ve met loads of people during my signing and reading sessions but this almost intimate setting with us on the floor, shoulders pressed against one another having him tell me he enjoyed my writing made it special

I nudged his shoulder slightly making him look at me with a raised brow I  smiled up at him

“That is high praise, especially from you. I am humbled” I repeat his words to him and he smirks slightly at me

“Cheek” he mumbles making me laugh

—————————

“So you’re struggling with the second one then ?” His voice resonates around me, he’s looking up at me from a journal of some sorts. We have been sitting in silence for, who knows how long.

I look at my watch seeing it’s 11:30 and we are still in this goddamn elevator. I’m going to be late for brunch, and as if icing in the cake there was no service in here.

“Yes you could say that. For almost 8 years I had this story in my mind, and every day it was slowly building itself. It took me some time to actually physically write a sentence of it.

I have an outline of all three volumes. Always saw it as a trilogy of sorts.

And even though I know what I want from the second one- Writing it is still a completely different story”

I say looking at him and seeing sympathy on his face

“I have been there, sometimes the music pours out, the lyrics come to me in dreams and during showers or cooking.

And then other times I’m close to banging my head against a wall just to think of a single note”

I hummed at him in understanding

“Soon you said, eh ?” I laughed after about a minute of silence making him chuckle in return

“Apparently things work differently in America, if we were in Ireland we’d already’ve been out of here and into the nearest pub for a celebratory drink” he says

“Drink? It’s not even noon yet ?”

I said laughing at his comeback

“It’s happy hour somewhere right?”

——————————

“Ok so I write something for you, you sing something for me ?” I ask and he nods his head in confirmation. It was a little after 1pm

“Deal, now would you like me to insert you into the world I created or just make up something new?” I asked

“Oooo, into the story you’ve already created I love the way you used certain folklore, myths and legends”

he replies with a childlike grin on his face making me chuckle at how cute he was

I took my own journal out of my bag and started writing, trying to find the best story to tell.

I found that writing came when writing about him, words flowed onto the page as my mind was overtaken by him.

His presence was calming, I enjoyed his conversation, he is charming and beautiful. And his music haunts me, it inspires me.

I skim over the the few pages I wrote and glanced up at him, only to find him staring at me with a intense look on his face

I cleared my throat and handed him the journal

“I- um I finished it, and to be clear this is a non proof read rough draft. So don’t expect some novelty” he takes it from my hands and starts reading intently.

Following the words with his eyes and tracing them with his fingers, I smiled looking at him

“A Fae ?” His voice brought me back and looking him in the eyes, amusement laced his voice as he looked at me with a raised brow

I shrugged my shoulders

“It was either that or a deity of the forest. But I believe Fae suits you. Hauntingly beautiful” I say

Smiling at my answer he gives me my journal back,

“It was a wonderful story, I quite enjoyed reading about me as one of the Fae”

He says

“I could put you in the second book ?” I tease

“I would be honored” he says, reaching for his guitar

“I’ll quote you on that. Oh, am I about to have the most privet Hozier concert ever ?” I joked

Making Andrew snort slightly and take his guitar out of the case slinging  it on his shoulder

“Hozier is me and my band, you are going to get an exclusive one man Andrew show. Which if you ask me is bit as good”

I slap his shoulder “Shut it, and play me something”

I smile and watch him tune his guitar for a couple of minutes before he clears his throat and looks at me

“May I sing to you a work in progress? Since you gave me an original I figured ?” I nod enthusiastically

He starts strumming the guitar gently for a while, as if trying to find the right sound and then-

“I still watch you when you’re grooving, as if through water from the bottom a pool.

You’re moving without moving.

And when you move I’m moved.

You are a call to motion, there all of you a verb in perfect view, Like Jonah on the ocean.

When you move I’m moved.

When you move I’m put to mind of all that I want to be , when you move I could never define all that you are to me”

The strumming stops and his heavenly voice fades leaving me staring at him, most likely with my mouth agape

“That was incredible, I’m awestruck to be completely honest. My god. You Sir are a poet. That was beautiful. Is there more?”

I ask and he shakes his head

“It came to me just now. While being stuck in this hellhole” he says laughing slightly but I’m just mesmerized by the lyrics he just sang

“I still watch you when you’re grooving,” I mumble to myself  reciting the lyrics “as if through water from the bottom of a pool”

I look at him

“And you’re moving without moving” I keep going

“When you move, I’m moved” he finishes for me making me smile at him

“So move me baby” I wink at him and he just stares at me for a moment

“Shake like the bough of a willow tree” and he smiles at me before scribbling down things in his journal.

I went back to scribbling notes on certain ideas I had for some of my characters, plot points needed to be addressed and such, not ten minutes passed and we heard a clunking noise and the elevator started moving.

Descending down to the lobby after 5 hours. Andrew and I get up right as the doors open

“Oh thank god man, we’ve been freaking the fuck out. I mean you’re never late to anything and then you don’t show up at rehearsals and not answering your phone, we drive together next time”

A man almost as tall as Andrew hugs him making me laugh at his ramble.

Stepping out of the elevator I looked around the lobby spotting Harmonia sitting at the bar,

I look over at Andrew and to see him talking to his band mates making me smile and move towards my sister.

Hopefully she won’t be too pissed. But them again it wasn’t really my fault.

[ravenvsfox]

I have two prompts from the Hozier lyric thing for Andreil: “we should quit” or “tell me what you’d do to me tonight”. Pick your fave! (Or both of you’re feeling adventurous)

from the full line: lord we should quit but we love it too much

They meet in sticky July, two sore thumb prints stamped into the wall at the back of the dance floor. Neil’s nose is bloodied, and he looks lost, a wounded wallflower twisting in the wind. He keeps pulling at his shirt, slightly sheer and obviously the wrong size for him. 

His scars are invisible until Andrew leads him into the bathroom, where the overhead lights make them unavoidable.

They only talk that first time, under the glare of the fluorescents, dabbing at a wound that Neil won’t say how he got.

He can tell that Neil is interested by him, but not in him. The way they speak to each other is the way a bull and a matador tussle, afraid, both thinking they have the upper hand.

They run into each other again at the same club, Neil lingering at the back like they’d planned to meet there and Andrew was already late. He takes him outside to smoke, this time, and they orchestrate a game of twenty questions until the summer sun pops its head quizzically over the horizon.

They walk home in opposite directions, through chirruping robins and baby blue sky, Andrew glancing back at Neil, who is glancing back at him. He can’t figure out where all of this want is coming from. He can’t find the source of it.

They meet a few more times that summer, and then he doesn’t see him again until a windy day in October. 

Andrew steps out of his second year biology class and finds Neil waiting for the class across the hall to get out. He’s wearing round brown glasses, his hair is dyed black, and he purses his lips when their eyes connect. Andrew can tell he’s pleased to see him.

Neil tells him that he was recruited to Palmetto to play exy, and Andrew says “what’s that” because he can tell now that Neil is one of those athletes who doesn’t understand the point of anything else. He didn’t mention it, though, in all the times that he spoke to Andrew before.

They walk all the way across campus to the court, and circle its shiny white walls in a slow perimeter. Neil describes various exy positions and plays and Andrew describes how much he doesn’t care.

Neil asks him if there’s anything he actually likes doing, at which point Andrew takes him back to his dorm, and holds his hand when he sucks him off.

After that, they have the strange, floating arrangement of two people who will swallow each other whole before they share any of their secrets. They’re not friends, and the sex isn’t really a benefit, because it’s agonizing, how much he thinks about it, and how much more he wants.

He can’t stop wondering who Neil might be. He is a beautiful window display on a closed store.

They don’t step into each other’s lives unless it’s into a room with a locking door. The more they talk though, the more receptive Neil gets, and he starts seeking Andrew out on campus, looking sunken-eyed and famished until they come together again. 

This is how Andrew knows they should stop. 

“You should come to our home game, on Friday,” Neil says. He’s smeared down the length of Andrew’s bed, and his arms are crossed behind his head. His glasses are on the bedside table. Andrew doesn’t know why he bothers wearing them, when they always end up torn off. He knows they’re not prescription. Maybe the disguise makes him feel better.

“I should not,” Andrew says. He blows smoke up into the whirring ceiling fan. 

“You don’t want to see what I do all the time?”

“I don’t want to waste my time on a sporting event,” he says. “And I don’t care what you do.”

“Right,” Neil says, working himself up onto his elbows. “Except that I saw you watching us practice, last week.”

“We were supposed to meet at five,” Andrew says coolly. “I was there at five.”

“But you know we go long on Mondays, and you never come on time. You sat through twenty-five minutes of wrap-up.”

“I had nowhere else to be.”

“Or maybe you just like to watch,” Neil says slyly. 

Andrew narrows his eyes. “Even if I had the patience to sit through a three hour game, I have no interest in meeting your friends,” he tells him.

Neil shrugs. “Don’t have any.”

“I won’t be a cheerleader for your bastard sport.”

“Fine,” Neil says shortly.

“And we’re not dating.”

“Fine,” Neil repeats.

Andrew shifts in the covers. He doesn’t know why he does it, but he leans over and presses a kiss to Neil’s hip. A hand closes in his hair.

______

The foxes win their home game, a sweeping 11-4. Andrew stands outside the court with his head tipped back into the wall, eyes shut, feeling the vibrations of their victory. 

“You came,” a voice says.

Andrew keeps his eyes closed, even when he feels Neil come right up to him, even when the post-game humidity from his skin spreads between them. Or maybe Andrew was already hot, thinking about Neil bounding across the court, a comet captured in a jar.

He finally opens his eyes when Neil presses a shy kiss to his throat.

“We can’t sleep together anymore,” Andrew hears himself say. Neil steps backwards.

“Okay,” he says, confused. “Why?”

“You love exy.”

“Andrew,” Neil huffs. “That’s fucking stupid.”

“You love chasing a rush,” Andrew continues, in a monotone, like it doesn’t bother him one way or another. “To the court. To my bed. But the rush will run out.”

“But it hasn’t yet,” Neil says slowly. “Are you saying you don’t feel that kind of rush for anything?”

No, Andrew thinks. I’m saying I do. And he didn’t think he could. And he sat in the stands for hours, watching Neil run, and drink water, and clack sticks with people he doesn’t know, and the crowd around him was paper, and time started ticking backwards. 

The last time he’d wanted something so much that nothing else mattered, everything had gone brutally wrong.

“Yes,” he lies.

Neil’s eyes spark and fire up. “Bullshit. You think if you look neutral enough, and you hold your cards close to your chest, that no one will know that you want things.”

He crosses, then uncrosses his arms. People are starting to flow out of the doorways to the parking lot behind them.

“But I’ve heard you talk about your brother. I’ve seen how you read up about the things that matter to you. You memorize them.” He lowers his voice. “And I’ve kissed you,” he says. “I know you feel things.”

“What did you think this was going to be,” Andrew says, a little cruelly. “A life partnership?”

“Why does it have to be anything other than what it is?” Neil asks. 

“Attachment ruins people’s lives.”

Neil’s shoulders go slack, and his mouth twists in understanding. “Sometimes, but sometimes it saves them.”

“You want to save me?” Andrew says, like it’s a dark joke.

Neil lets this slide right over him. “If you want.”

He doesn’t know what to do with this. He’s very aware that he’s being fought for, and it’s so completely unfamiliar that it’s making him a little sick, like rich food on an empty stomach.

He doesn’t say anything, and Neil smiles. His face is still pink from the exertion of the game, and he couldn’t look more vivid and familiar.

They should really stop.

“Can I kiss you?” Neil asks.

They’re never going to make it out of this alive.

“Yes,” he tells him. Of course he does.

If his life is going to tumble out of control again, this time he’s going to enjoy it.

[sgt-morgan]

Tell Me A Story (Hozier x Reader).

This is honestly just straight fluffy fluff so enjoy x

You’re laying in bed, a long day has passed you by and you can feel the exhaustion in your very bones. You sigh as you shove the pillow into a position that you hope can somewhat dim the light aches in your body, your (y/h/c) hair fanning out around your head and slightly covering your eyes from your position on your stomach. Suddenly there’s a hand brushing the hair from your tired eyes and you close them, reveling in the gentle touch. “Hey, you alright?” The soft voice fills you with comfort, the baritone timbre, the Irish lilt, it seems to further soothe you as you fall closer and closer to rest. You groan, a fitting response in your opinion as you attempt to sink further into your bed. You hear the breathy chuckle coming from above and a little nudge to your ribs. “Budge up Love, you’re hogging the bed.” You groan again, the idea of movement deeply disturbing you. You do it anyway. “Thank you.” Suddenly your enveloped in warmth, large hands shifting you into a sturdy chest, long legs tangling with yours, a sweet kiss planted to your forehead. You sigh, contented. You lay there listening to the steady beat of his heart, the light breath that falls from his lips.

You speak. “ How was your gig?” You say, your version of polite conversation? Or an excuse to hear his voice. You haven’t decided. “Oh fine, The set list was a little different tonight though, we did Eden before Nina tonight, I didn’t like the idea but Alex urged us to give it a shot.” He sighed “I wasn’t a fan.” He stopped and you could feel the want for more. Usually, talking about his shows, you couldn’t get him to stop talking, but tonight he seemed to want to let it pass. You looked up at him, your (y/e/c) orbs staring into his and whispered. “Tell me a story.” Andrew looked confused, “what do you mean?” He looked As if you had asked him jump out a window. “ You heard me,” you urged, “Tell me a story about anything, I just want to hear you talk.” Andrew looked down at you for a couple more seconds, looking to see if you were being serious. “Please.” You urge, he sighs.

“Alright, I got one. I think the pomegranate was Persephone idea.” You settle farther into his chest and close your eyes, contented. “ I think she was tired of the world she was sheltered in, I think, that she was lonely. She lived on the surface, her only companions the fleeting mortals and her mother. I bet that the underworlds enterance was close to her favorite place. A tree? Her Garden? A field of wild flowers? Who knows. But, I know that the vibrant life was abruptly cut off by the doors, a harsh and brutal juxtaposition against her vibrant light, and it was exciting. Something she had never seen, the darkness excited her. She would stare for hours and hours trying to understand what could be on the other side. That’s when she sees him for the first time. He’s nothing she’s ever seen before. A harshness to him, a coldness, but an unmistakable beauty too. Something that seemed to call out to her to lay down forever. However, I would wager that it wasn’t his first time seeing her, Hades that is. He’d seen her alright. Her vibrant life, the beauty that surrounded her, the innocence, intruiged him. Then they met, and fell in love quickly, chaotically. They fell in love, but they couldn’t be together, she had a duty to the mortals. Summer, endless prosperity. Her very name Kore; Purity, a testimony to her work. Her inability to stay with him. He couldn’t take away such beauty and store it with him, below, in the darkness. That, he would think, would be worse than death. Or so he thought. The thought of taking such beauty broke his heart. She knew the rumors, the consequences of eating his sickeningly sweet fruits. Their bitter intentions, that’s why she only at six seeds. Olympus was furious, so we’re the mortals. Demeter was enraged. But Hades? Persephone? They were happy, so as Kore’s name changed to Persephone, the destroyer, as the first winter plagued the mortals, Persehone and Hades felt, for the first time, the sweet tender embrace of spring. Far below, they finally felt at home.”

You drift of as he finishes his story, looking down at you to see if you enjoyed it. He is greeted with your eyes slowly fluttering shut, your breath evening out. He smiles content to see you resting comfotably. “Goodnight my love,” he whispers, “ Thank you for saving this Hades.” He shifts the blankets and makes sure they cover you both. Then he too, falls deep into sleep

[m00kieblaylock]

All the even numbers for the End of the Year asks 🖤

 Ooh! Thank you, love

2. Album of the year?

Wasteland, Baby! But also The Raconteurs - Help Us Stranger comes in pretty close

4. Movie of the year? I know it came out last year but I saw it early this year, A Star is Born. Fucking heartbreaker. Gaga is everything.

6.Episode of tv or webisode that defined the year for you?

First ones that come to mind is The Olive Branch from Schitt’s Creek. I absolutely loved it. Also the second last episode of Handmaid’s Tale. FUCK it was so bloody good. Probably the best TV episode ever. All of Killing Eve. All of Queer Eye. 

8. Game of the year?

I really don’t play games. Fucken Uno, though.  10. Something that made you cry this year?

I’ve cried a loooooot. Ooof. However, biggest culprit is one man. Give it up for Mr Andrew Hozier-Byrne.

12. Talk about a new friend you made this year. 

I have made many new friends online the past few months. My anxiety makes me not want to mention them in case they don’t think we are friends lolololol. But if you think it might be you it probably is and I love you. 14. Favorite book you read this year?

I haven’t read anything! If anyone has any suggestions send them my way. I’m hoping to start some books before the year is out 16. Post a picture from the beginning of the year

My little baby booooooy. He is so friggin cute. I took this early this year. You can see he is sitting on my Dad.

18. A memorable meal this year?

My Mum and I took a girls spa trip to Hepburn Springs for our birthdays this year. We had dinner the first night in a tiny local restaurant and I had the best meal I’ve ever eaten. It was Lamb Ragu with Polenta and roasted cauliflower and honestly I left my body for about 30 seconds because it was so insanely delicious. Plus it was raining and absolutely freezing outside, I’ve never been that cold in my life. My Mum and I were running to the car screaming and laughing hysterically. We were crying laughing the whole time back to our Airbnb to make a lil fire. It’s probably the best memory of my whole year. 

20. What’s something you learned this year?

I’ve learnt a lot this year. Both as a student lol and existentially as someone overcoming/living with anxiety and depression. Possibly the greatest lesson, being kind to yourself and taking time is more vital than anything. 

22. Favorite place you visited this year?

Hepburn Springs in Victoria. I would recommend it to anyone, it’s so beautiful and peaceful. Plus at the start of the year my Dad and I did a road trip to Queensland to visit my grandparents. It’s a day and a half straight on the road. Road trips are my greatest love honestly. 

24.Did you keep any New Year’s Resolutions? 

I really don’t. I’ve never really responded to the idea of goals in general. Plus, I think for me, I prefer to live and strive for what I want every day, not just because it’s a new year. I could get real deep on y’all but we’ll save that for NYE ;)