#hoyoverse is stalking me again help me
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lukarion-ven · 1 year ago
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his new trailer featured a small moon. you know what that means? "lunette" = little moon in french origin. im gonna cry im so delusional
im preparing a short comic for lyn/lun, hopefully it's not too ooc to his canon personality bc i still havent seen his voicelines orz
!! edit: some people pointed out that that "lunette" doesnt mean that! i actually based it on what i gathered on meriam webster, it says on the site that there are some 17th century evidence of the term being used for "small celestial moon", but the meaning now is apparently obsolete, so i used "french origin" on my post. maybe i got too ahead of myself from that statement? i just went with it because genshin isnt modern..! (+ plus other probably unreliable sources) personally i still want to associate her with the moon, because i took "lun" from luna and "nette" from marinette (lol) so yes! i just find it cute and im making these for myself anyways ><
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zweetpea · 8 months ago
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Eternity or stasis Part 1 of 2
Spicy scene so watch out. Also some Archon/Arlecchino slander purely because I don't like the fact that the house of the hearth is basically just training child soldiers. No hate if you like her but she is definitely not a good or even morally grey person.I am so sorry about human dvalin guys. I tried not to stroke my own ego when describing him but all the concept art for human Dvalin makes him out to be a very very VERY pretty man. And I like the Hoyoverse dragons so there is a bit of that. Also sorry this took so long to come out.
"Dvalin please!" You whine
"Mine. You're mine." He growls.
"Ah!" you squeak as he squeezes your hips.
"Tight... so tight... Too Tight! Dvalin I can't breath!" 'Yeah that's me. You're probably wondering how I got here.'
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20 minutes ago.
"Dvalin it's been 2 weeks since Xiao brought me back. Andruis has come to visit twice, and both times you've refused to see him. You hardly let the abyss mages and slimes bring me food. "I'm begging you, please let me go. I won't run away again just please." You pleaded desperately trying to wriggle out from between his front claws. He was splayed out like a dog lying out in the sun arms crossed in front of him to trap you in.
"Not a chance. The last two times I let you out of my sight you got kidnapped. First by those knights, then you were taken away and the abyss order has told me you were in the land of Geo. That filthy mud-ridden dragon. What does he have that I don't? What can he give you that I can't?"
"Well, no offence but physical intimacy and companionship."
"Oh really?" He growled in a sarcastic tone (and also literally growled, he is a dragon after all). A bright light blue light shined out from Dvalin's chest as he shrunk.
"Dvalin? What...?"
Standing before you was a beautiful man with sharp features. He had a long pointed nose, and sharp eyes. His face wasn't too particularly round (he had a few freckles on his face) and his chin looked like it could cut diamonds. He had long baby blue hair that fell past his shoulder blades - his bangs curled around his head to the back of his head - and glowing aqua colored eyes that pierced your soul. His horns curved up, back and towards each other; the tips tinted in dark blue. His pointed ears peeked out meekly from the sides of his head. He was tall (maybe 7 feet), and his entire body - from hid shoulders down to his waist - was broad. His chest and abs were sculped and defined. His limbs held muscles toned to perfection, yet strangely enough faded from the pale of his torso and face to a lighter blue and finally to a deep blue at his finger tips and his long nails. Finally just behind him swayed a furry blue and white tail. 
"WHY ARE YOU NAKED?!"
"Why wouldn't I be? I don't wear clothes in my true form. I feel strange like this." He looked at his hand, perplexed by the addition of a fifth finger.
"You- you- two- um-" You backed up as he stalked over to you. "Wait!" Your face heated. 
"Come here darling. You said you wanted to be physical." He pulled you toward him and wrapped his tail around you.
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"HELP LITTLE SLIMES!! I fell into a trap! He's got me! And he won't let me go!" You scream as a dendro smile and hydro smile bounce toward you.
"Mine."
"Yes I know but, EH!" You try to struggle. 
"Mine!"
"Eh!"
"Mine!!"
"EH!"
"MINE!"
"EH!!"
"MINE!!"
"Dvalin! Please. This is embarrassing. And I can feel your 'friends' poking my ass."
"They just want to say hi, and they wouldn't be so eager if you didn't squirm so much on my lap." He purrs in your ear.
"We need to get you some clothes." You throw yourself from his grasp with all your might. "Maybe some apple bottom jeans."
"Jeans?" He looks confused. 
"And boots with the fur."
"With fur?"
"Really just anything to keep you 'packages' to yourself."
"Oh? So you don't want 'Physical Intimacy'?" He teases. 
"Um I..." 'Screw it. Baizhu and I are just friends with benefits.' You pull Dvalin closer and kiss him. His lips mold into yours and you poke your tongue into his mouth. He lay you down as his tongue overtook your mouth.
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"I... cannot feel my legs."
"Stay right there, I'm going to get some food." He kisses your head.
"Wait!" You grab one of his horns and gently rub your thumb over it.
He lets out a breathy moan and grabs you wrist. "Keep that up and this little snack I'm getting you will be an intermission instead of aftercare."
"Did you want this?"
"It was nice, especially the feeling of your nails scratching along my back. I'll be honest, I'm willing to do anything to keep you here."
"Okay, thanks for getting me some food."
"Of course darling." He kisses your lips, and slithers out of the tower. 
10 minutes later you're feeling a bit better, that was until a certain high pitched Bard showed up.
"Dvalin! Please answer me. I know that you're up here! I'm sorry about what happened about a month ago." Venti pleads voice cracking like he's holding back tears. 
"Hi Venti..." You say apathetic.
"What are you doing here? How did you get back here?"
"Wouldn't you like to know." You snark. 
"Don't get smart with me! You turned Dvalin against me."
"I thought you'd want him to be free, and happy."
"I do. But I also want him to be safe. You are nothing but trouble, and I don't want him around you. End of story" 
"Why don't you give me one more- ow! Fudge nuggets! Anyway Venti," You limp your way over to him. "That's not really for you to decide, now is it?" You taunt.
"What gives you the right to talk to me like that?"
"What gives you the right to demand the respect of your people. You're a drunkard, Zhongli is a deadbeat, and Ei is a dictator. Not only that but the Tsaritsa endorses the exploitation of children, allowing Arlecchino - one of her Harbingers - to groom them into the perfect soldiers. They're exploiting orphans - who only have them to trust in - for their army. What good do you Archons do for your citizens?"
"Shut up!" He pushes you to the ground. Your delusion starts to glow seafoam green.
"You don't protect them. So get off your high horse you fake wannabe dei-"
"SHUT UP!!" He screams as the structure around you shakes and the air in the environment grows warmer. 
"Heh, I knew you were full of hot air."
"SHUT! UP!" He screams in your face as his hands come to wring your neck.
"GET OFF THEM!!"
"Dvalin?/!" Venti and you shout in unison. Him in horror and you in joy. Dvalin drops the food and charges at venti. 
"What have they done to you?" Venti whispers. 
"I chose to become this Venti."
"They've clipped your wings."
"You mean these?" Wings spring from his back.
"You know what I mean! Your powers are drained in this form! Why would you do this?"
"I need them that's why."
"No! I'm putting my foot down. I hate to do this but this obsession you have with them isn't healthy!" Dvalin charges at him and he dodges. Venti summons his bow (the skyward harp) and shot at you. You try to block but nothing happens. The arrow doesn't pierce you but it does knock you out and blow you far off.
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When you wake up you're somewhere you haven't been before. Inazuma.  
"Okay. This isn't good. Why couldn't I block the arrow? Was it because it was Venti's?" You look down to your delusion and see it was seafoam green instead of a gold color. "Does this mean I've resonated with Anemo? I shook hands with Zhongli and resonated with Geo, Venti pushed me so..." You hold your hand out and several small wind currents form around you. You bring your other hand up and they all form into a big gust of wind shaped in a pair of wings. "Interesting. Okay... where exactly am I? This looks a bit like Ritou. Maybe I could get across to the beach."
"Outlander! Freeze!"
"Shit!" You start to jump across to the beach on your wind currents. You run through the hills of Inazuma.
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"Okay I think I'm safe now. Where on earth did I go?" You run to the north end of Narukami Island.
"Hello?! Hello?" You call out as you look for anyone who could help you. 
"Hm? Hey cutie!" Itto shouts at you. 
"Aw, aren't you sweet."
"Heh. Nah, you're just adorable. Hey! You wanna beetle battle with me."
"I don't know how. Maybe a big, strong man could teach me." You flirt.
"Course I could." He wraps his arm around your shoulder. Maybe you should feel a bit bad about flirting and sleeping around but you were promised debauchery. You wrap your arm around him as he leads you to where his gang was, though you didn't get too far with Kujou Sara and her forces on you tail.
"There you are! Surrender your Vision and the blondie." She demands.
"Oh yeah, the sus girl made me twinsies with the twins."
"The Raiden Shogun has ordered any interlopers to be deported from Inazuma immediately, and if they have a vision we are to seize it form them. This... person?" She looks to you for confirmation, to which you nod. "Is under arrest for fleeing Ritou."
"So typical of a cop to be a rude bitch. Actually that's not really fair. Chevreuse, Wriothesley and Cyno are technically cops and they'll probably be considerate. Come to think of it The knights of Favonius are cops and Jean was extremely considerate. It's just the archon simps- well, no Xiao was pretty nice."
"Less talking more fighting!" Itto shouts in a frenzy. He and Shinobu have to fend of the Tenryou Commission. 
"Sorry!" You lift your hand and the gusts of wind lift the enemies off the ground.
"Now we're talking! Looks like the playing field just got a bit more even." Itto taunt.
"On my command!" Sara yell as she readies her bow. You quickly start to twist and turn your delusion to try and get in back to Geo.
"Don't do this to me. I need Geo right now." You whisper and it started to glow gold again. You quickly jump in front of Itto to block Sara's shot. You then start to pelt her with a slew of jagged spall toward the cops.
"Retreat!" Sara's companions cry.
"Cowards! get back here!" She furiously runs after them.
"Oh my gosh! That was awesome dude! Oh hey, what should I call you?" Itto cheers.
"Babygirl." you respond without missing a beat. "It's this affectionate nickname where I come from. If not that you can call me Gen with a G. Last name Z.
"It's nice to meet you Z." Shinobu greets from beside Itto. 
"Please, call me Gen. We're friend now... or something more." You mumble that last part.
"Yeah yeah yeah, formalities and such. How'd you do that? You went from Anemo to Geo in a split second!" Itto praises. "It was awesome. Does that me you have like, Anemo and Geo inside you."
"Well I don't know about Geo but Anemo and Dendro have definately both been inside me."
"Huh?"
"Uh, not the point. We should get going before the cops show up again."
"Oh right. Well Gen in thanks for you saving us I'll treat you to the Biggest bowl of Ramen I can afford."
"I don't think I'll be able to finish all by myself, but we could split it." 'Please if there is any good left in this universe or the one I come from let Itto and I do the lady and the tramp thing! Please please please-'
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"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!" Itto apologizes.
'I love you universe!'
"Looks like Heizou was right. Caught you right where he said you would be."
"I'll handle this Itto. You just get everyone out of here." You order.
"No way! I'm not leaving you behind Gen!" He argues.
"Loyal to a tee, I see why Ayato likes you." You smile. Tenryou soldiers flinging themselves at you.
"Itto we have to go." Shinobu pleads.
"But-"
"Trust me! Go."
"I'm coming back for you!"
"Thank you." You smile. The Arataki Gang ran as the cops jump and overpower you. 
Sara bounds your wrists and ankles, and throws you over her shoulder. "Dang bound again. If I had a nickel for everytime I've been bound and it wasn't sexy, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot  but it's weird that it happened twice. Weirder still that the only two times I've been bound have both been very unsexy. 'This would be arousing if you hadn't been an asshole earlier.' You thought. 'Okay... I guess this is a little hot.'
"Hey do you want to hear something cool? According to the Babylonians, Asushunamir was this super rad person who wasn't man or woman and they were given the gift of prophecy and healing. Also the Norse had this other dude who's portrayed as really really hot and they were gender fluid  but mostly went by he. The gender non conforming have a pretty sweet gig being hot and getting people out of trouble."
"Please stop talking. Besides it doesn't matter who or what you are. Man, woman, or something in between, all obstacles in the Shoguns path to eternity must face her wrath. No amount of strange tales will spare you."
"Bring it on that tyrant is going down!"
"Brave or foolish I do not know. May I ask you something?"
"Go ahead."
"I've been hearing rumors about you. They say you are not so much man or woman so... how do you work in bed if you don't mind me asking." 
"Well~ you could find out for yourself~"
"I'll have to pass on your oh so generous offer." Sara retorts sarcastically. 
"I'm a power-bottom if you must know! Nah that's a lie I'm submissive and breedable, even if I never get pregnant."
"Well... here we are. The Shogun is just inside. She will decide your fate." Sara unbinds you. 
"Bye Sara. Raiden Shogun! You better get your Bitch ass out here!" You storm through the halls.
"Who dares to insult me?" The dumb little puppet shows it's face.
"I mean the real Shogun! Come on out Ei!" As you taunt her a purple rift rips through the air and Ei pulls you into the plain of euthymia. 
"Why is a long haired hooligan in my presence. What's your name?"
"Gen. Now let's talk about something more previlent. You suck! I don't care if you have big boobies! You're a bad mom and a bad leader!"
"Excuse me?"
"You abandoned your son and say that you want to give him freedom. How is that freedom? You cast him out without anything to defend himself with! And on top of all of that he was basically a naive baby with no survival skills. How dense can you be? You are the cause of at least 25% of Teyvats major problems. Do you have any idea what He's doing out there right now?"
"Wow... you really want to die don't you?"
"Can you stop being so egotistical? There's more to this world than you ya know! I get you're sad because Makoto died, and you feel like you have no purpose. You don't feel worthy to be the Electro Archon, right? Well Miko doesn't think so. She and sara are keeping this entire nation afloat while you bitch and moan about having to do work."
"How do you know all of this?"
"Because I'm not from Teyvat."
"Obviously. You are the adored one. The one Celestia fears. That doesn't explain-"
"No!" You cut her off. "I'm literally not from this world. I've seen this twice before. I got in after beta and I have to look up past events off Youtube, because Hoyoverse is a bitch to the Genshin community. I get they want people to pay for gacha but just have them be a normal world quest or a side story or even a playable movie! Kingdom hearts did that with their mobile game! It was a bit confusing but that's kingdom hearts for you."
"...what?"
"Nothing. Point is you need to get off your ass and work. Your people are dying. They're slaughtering each other in droves. Eternity doesn't mean everything has to stay the same. Makoto wouldn't have wanted that Ei. Eternity can exist through Inazuma's preservation. Their culture and heritage and customs all play a part in Inazuma's identity. If those things can keep Inazuma thriving then Inazuma will be eternal."
"...you've seen this play out before. Is there ever a way for me to reach perfect Eternity."
"not a perfect stasis no. But from where I'm from you and Makoto's Legacy is secure. Inazuma is eternal to my people." 
"How would I even go about trying to fix things?"
"...wait that worked?"
"What?"
"I never thought I'd get this far. (A/n: SpongeBob reference!) I was just trying to sow the seed so that the twins wouldn't have to go through so much bullshit to defeat you and make you see the error of your ways. I was trying to buy time more than anything."
"Okay... so what do we do now?"
"I have no clue..."
"Um when you said twins... you wouldn't happen to mean two blonds in strange clothes similar to yours, did you?" 
"Is the puppet fighting them? Did your puppet take Thoma and they're trying to protect him?" You deadpan.
"Yes?"
"yep, that's them. Let 'em in they might be able to help." 
She does as you instruct and the twins come barreling in. "What the Fu-"
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