#however. if nudged slightly. I may write a little aside of Clara's fun little moment

[ace-malarky]

Team Bonding

ok there are no like glaring mistakes and this is just some fun 'n' dumb shenanigans but anyway

that Somewhat Shaky Start to my own holiday, now serialised for your amusement!

or mine. mostly mine.

@zmwrites, you wanted to see this right?

~~~

Roxy was first to the train station, with enough time to buy the biggest coffee she could reliably hold in one hand before she got through the barrier and onto the platform.

She sent a message to the group chat and grimaced at the time.

Train in ten minutes.

Oscar was next, Cai behind him and nursing a giant coffee of her own.

"We ready gang?" Kite whooped as soon as ve spotted them, hands in the air.

Onni, beside ver, grinned and waved.

Roxy gritted her teeth and checked her phone, because of course it was Clara that was running late.

"Train's running late."

"What?" Roxy snapped her head up from her phone.

Sure enough, the sign was showing a delay of two minutes.

This was fine. Still enough time to make their connection.

"Ok, made it, everything is fine." Clara burst through the gates and down the platform, panting as she did. "Who in the fuck decided we should be this early?"

"Onni," Cai said.

"Train company." Onni grinned. "Take it up with them."

There was still no train at the platform, no sign of one pulling in, unless that was it at the far end.

Roxy took a steadying drink and checked the board above them as a service announcement crackled over the tannoy. She didn't catch many words of it, but Oscar tilted his head and frowned. "What?"

"Oh, that's not - the Seven-fifteen was our train, wasn't it?"

"To Queen Street, yup." Onni nodded. "I don't like that was."

"Yeah, it - it's been cancelled."

"The fuck it is." Roxy spun on her feet to stare first at the train further down the platform and then at the sign above them.

"Alright," Cai said, and strode down the platform in the wake of the other passengers.

"The next Glasgow train doesn't get there in time," Roxy called, following her all the same.

"You mean there isn't a back up?"

"There's always a back up." Clara fell in beside Roxy. "Right?"

Roxy shook her head. "I don't - we needed that train."

"We'll get there." Onni patted her shoulder. "It'll be fine!"

When they caught up with Cai on the next platform, she was talking with someone in the ticket office.

Roxy slid in beside her to hear Cai's faint exasperation in her, "No, we need to be in Oban for 12 to catch the ferry. Our next train-"

"Yes, I see." The man nodded, staring at something on his screen. "How many are you?"

"Six in our group."

"There might be others with the same problem," Roxy said, but no one else had followed them to the office.

"Alright. If you'll just wait here," he sidled out from behind his desk, "I just need to talk with someone."

"Of course." Cai smiled without it reaching her eyes. "We'll be here."

"Because our holiday has been cancelled," Onni said, propping themself up on an unused desk. "Stopped clean in its tracks. A crime."

"Our holiday being cancelled, or us trying to go anywhere?" Oscar asked.

"Yes."

Kite laughed. "I did offer our boat-"

"Absolutely not," Clara cut ver off. "Bad enough we're going out to the isles. We could have got a plane."

"Clara," Onni said, beginning to grin, "do you get seasick, perchance?"

"Aren't you like made of water now?" Kite shot her a deeply unimpressed look. "Girly."

"It's the difference between the size of boats, right?"

"Yes, exactly. This is why Oscar's my favourite."

"Oscar is everyone's favourite."

"Alright," said the attendant, entering the small office with another man in tow, "we've booked a taxi for you, and you'll meet the train at Crianlarich."

"Really?" Roxy asked. "I mean - thanks. A taxi is quicker?"

He nodded. "If you'll just follow my colleague." He gestured behind them.

"Thanks," Roxy repeated.

The new attendant led them back down the platform and through to the other end of the station, to the back exit at the foot of Calton Hill. "The taxi should be here in ten minutes," he said. "Which will be enough time to get out to Crianlarich to catch your train."

Onni pulled out their phone to check the route. "This is saying four hours, which - oh, shit, never mind. That's public transport."

Kite draped verself over their shoulders and poked. "Yeah, three hours seems much more reasonable. Straight through to Oban. Crianlarich isn't that far."

Roxy let out a sigh and drank her coffee.

"Nah, it'll be peachy," Onni said, adjusting something. "See?"

The taxi did not come in ten minutes. Roxy was doing her best to stay level about it, but with every taxi that drew up only to drop people off and get back on its way, she was getting increasingly more tense.

"It would be a really bad idea to go and get a coffee, right?" Clara asked, sounding mournful.

"Probably should have thought about that before now, yes." Kite nodded.

"But alas, here we are."

"Just because the two of you - three of you," Clara corrected, shooting a sharp glance at Oscar, "are morning people, there's no need to rub it in."

"You can sleep on the ferry." Kite grinned. "Assuming we-" Ve cut off, straightening up as a taxi slowed down past them, turning in the circle to drop people off.

"Wait here," said the train attendant as he walked to talk to the taxi driver.

"That looks hopeful," Oscar said.

Cai hummed, putting her phone away.

"Do we still have time to meet the train?" Roxy spun her phone in her hands, locking and unlocking it.

"If we hijack a police car, maybe." Onni grinned.

"Just hit the motorway and never slow down, right?"

Cai rolled her eyes.

"Alright, he's going to take you through to Oban," the attendant said.

"Great, thanks!" Kite patted his arm. "Appreciate all of this, really."

The taxi driver opened the boot for them to pile their bags in and waited to close it after them.

"What are we, almost two hours later?" Clara asked, climbing into the taxi.

"Oh, you haven't been awake that long." Roxy snorted, joining her.

"No one should have been awake that long."

"Some of us have been." Onni dropped into the seat opposite Clara, Kite at their side.

Kite yawned.

"Did you even sleep?" Oscar asked.

"No, so I may fall asleep enroute."

Oscar swivelled from sitting beside Roxy to sitting beside Kite.

Cai laughed softly as she settled in the last seat.

Roxy checked her phone again, counting out the hours.

"We have time," Cai said. Her own phone vibrated and she checked it, smiling softly at the message she found there. "Shae says to enjoy ourselves and that the city is in good hands."

Clara snickered. "They're not going to give it back without a fight, are they?"

"Mint would. Shae might not." Oscar braced himself against the door as they set off.

"We can talk her down," Onni said. "Or we just formally hand it over and retire." They laughed at Roxy's frown. "It's a joke, Rox, no one is suggesting you have to stop."

"At least not permanently."

"At least not in this car."

Roxy smiled faintly. It was more a baring of her teeth.

"Who-" Kite started to ask, only for Onni to elbow ver in the side.

They left Edinburgh, watching it wake up piece by piece as they were driven across the centre and out to the West.

Roxy bent her head forward to see past Clara, marking the streets they drove down until they were out and onto the motorway that left the city behind.

She settled back with a faint sigh. "Ok."

"Didn't think we could do it?" Clara nudged her. "Told you it'd be fine."

"Be that certain about catching the ferry."

Onni laughed. "It's going to be fine."

"Yeah, we can always hijack a boat. I can sail those." Kite grinned, winking at Roxy. "You know. As a back up."

Roxy gave ver the dead-eyed, unimpressed stare that ve deserved.

~~

"So obviously this is now going suspiciously well, right?" Onni asked.

"What do you mean?" Kite asked, without opening ver eyes or moving ver head from Oscar's shoulder.

"Don't - don't jinx it," Clara said.

They were well into the countryside, winding along beside rolling fields and the gentle slopes of hills growing more frequent, with the train line on its embankment in the middle distance between the trees.

"Well - comedy road trip rules right?"

"Who said this was a comedy?" Roxy asked.

"I don't think this counts as a roadtrip," Oscar said, almost at the same time.

"Are we not on a road? Are we not taking a trip?" Kite grinned.

Clara hummed. "But it doesn't matter because you're not going to jinx us."

"You're right, it's going to be fine," Onni said. "And even if, say - hypothetically - the car does break down, there'll be a strapping young laird to help us that Clara can flirt with and form a deep inescapable bond with."

"I envision a spring wedding." Kite raised ver hand to describe an arc before dropping it back to ver lap.

"Why me? Why not you? Or Oscar?"

"Uh-"

"Oh, going for some queer rep? Dig the angle, very nice."

Roxy rolled her eyes.

"So what would everyone else's roles in this be?" Oscar asked.

"Those two are obviously comic relief," Cai said, flicking a finger in Onni and Kite's direction.

She grinned faintly as Kite snapped ver eyes open. "Hey."

"She's not wrong," Oscar said, grinning even as he patted Kite's head.

"It's supposed to be the love interest that's grumpy with a heart of gold, Cai," Onni said. "You're going to have to downplay it."

"The heart of gold? No bother."

Clara laughed.

They slowed down as they drove into a town.

"Where is this?" Onni asked.

"Doune, I think? There's a castle through those trees."

"Ooh, can we-" Kite broke off in a laugh at Roxy's glare. "Joking."

"We're making good time, I think?" Oscar checked his phone.

"Yeah. It's going to be fine."

"Plus I'm sure our fearless leader has at least three contingencies in place by now."

"At least two of them involve leaving you at the roadside," Roxy repled.

Kite cackled. "That's fair."

"Ve's enterprising, I'm sure ve'd find a way to catch up."

"Yeah, I could just-"

"If you're about to suggest more crimes, I might scream."

"Yeah, Kite, leave the crimes to the big city."

"We're on holiday."

Cai let out a sigh that sounded a little forced, like she was trying not to laugh.

Roxy flicked a glance over Onni's shoulder at their taxi driver. He didn't appear to be listening to them.

They drove on out of the town and into the mountains. The road wound them along the sides of lochs and by the heads of glens that never seemed to get much wider before they tapered to a point in the distance.

The road never got to a single track, but the bends and the bushes hid what was coming.

Their taxi driver slowed to take the corners and then slowed again as they reached the edge of a village. He made a small noise that was only just picked up by the intercom and came to a halt at the side of the road. In the silence after the engine was stopped, the steady click of the blinkers could be heard.

"Hey," Onni said, twisting in their seat, "what's up?"

"Nothing too serious," the driver replied, cutting the engine, "but we'll have to wait here a bit while I get it fixed."

"Ok," Onni said. "So we can get out and stretch our legs? Find some snacks?"

"Yes." Their driver unbuckled himself and stepped out to pull open the door for them. "I'd say give it twenty minutes and check back here."

"Sweet." Onni stepped out. "Hey, do you want anything? Coffee-wise, I mean." They grinned. "I don't know much about cars, but maybe Cai can help."

Their driver laughed. "I'm fine without, thank you."

"Alright." Kite stretched ver arms out above ver head, cracking ver back. "Let's see what this place has to offer. Hey, where are we actually?"

"Crianlarich, I think?" Clara was on her phone as she ducked out of the taxi.

"Wasn't that where we might meet the train?" Roxy looked around for a sign to the train station.

"If you want to grab your bags and run for it, sure," Clara said. "But I trust our man here to get us to Oban on time."

"Is that an 'I'm being an optimist' or an 'I have foreseen this' statement?"

"Have I ever used my foresight for personal gain?" Clara tugged her sister to follow Onni and Kite down the road.

"Yes."

"Ouch." Clara laughed. "But - hey, Oz, how long will it take from here to Oban?"

"An hour and ten," Oscar replied.

"And we were going to be a solid two hours early anyway. We've got time."

"Alright. Sorry."

Clara bumped her shoulder into her sister's. "'S'alright, we love you regardless."

"So," Kite said, waiting for them at the door to the hotel's cafe. "Reckon this place has a hot young laird for us?"

"What - oh." Roxy sighed and rolled her eyes.

Clara laughed. "Ready for the rom part of this com?"

"You know it. And I need you, Wiz, and Onni to be at your best for this."

"Hey, don't sell yourself short." Clara patted Kite's hand as she stepped inside. "Someone could get you back on the straight and narrow."

Kite let out an affronted scoff. "Why would I ever want to be straight and narrow?"

Clara laughed. "You're so right, I'm so sorry."

Onni waved them over to a table. "Coffee and cakes, yeah?" They handed the menus to everyone. "Where's - oh, there she is."

Cai joined them last, slipping her phone back into her pocket. "Just telling our driver which hotel we're in."

"You got his number? Cai, you player!" Onni crowed with delight. "What will Shae and Mint think?"

Cai ignored them as she sat down.

"You jinxed us," Roxy said to Onni. "Why would you do that."

"I'm literally the embodiment of luck in this party, how dare."

"Good and bad," Cai said.

"Why do you have to do me like this. No one believes we're friends."

"Good."

"It's what you do with it that counts, right?"

"Thank you, Wiz. This is why you're my favourite. Reason number… we're into the hundreds now, right?"

"At least."

Oscar laughed, shifting in his seat and busying himself with the drinks menu.

"Besides, didn't we say no magic on this trip?"

"I mean I left the masks at home, if that's what you're asking." Onni shifted to let the server put their drinks and cakes down. "Thanks."

Roxy hesitated.

"Rox."

"I did! No, I - I did." She rubbed her fingers down the table in front of her.

"We're going to trust you on that because we're a team and that's what teams do."

"Oh my god."

"But this is also clearly set up for a betrayal and/or comedic misunderstanding later on, so I forgive you."

"You're the worst. How long do we have?"

"You have a full drink - don't chug that, Rox, holy shit."

Clara snorted. "She's just trying to protect my virtue."

"Oh, speaking of," Kite scanned the room, "see any potential?"

"What does a lord even look like?"

"Laird, Clara, please. You're in the highlands."

Oscar laughed.

"I don't know. Moneyed? A lot of tweed? Hunting dogs."

"Kite, don't you have a tonne of money?"

"Technically, yes. But I don't have a title so it doesn't count."

"Cai, tell me our driver has some good news."

"No, we have to let this play out." Onni put out their hand to cover Cai's phone, only to snap it back in at her glare.

She stepped away from the table, taking her cup with her to answer a call.

"He's kinda cute," Clara said, nodding at the bar.

"The staff? I see it," Kite said. "Probably not, though."

"Times change, Kite. Maybe he's down on his luck."

"If he's out of money, he's no use to us. We need access to a helicopter to get us out to the islands in time." Kite shook ver head, leaning back. "Touch down on Barra at sunset-"

"If we don't get to Barra until sunset I shall scream," Roxy said.

"Well that's a moodkiller."

Cai stepped back to the table. "Car's fixed."

"Oh good." Roxy launched herself for the door.

Clara laughed, scooping the crumbs off her plate. "I'll pay for ours, shall I?" She didn't wait for an answer, sliding around the seats and skipping towards the bar. "I'll meet you at the car!"

"Aw, but-" Kite laughed as Onni tugged ver towards the door. "I wanted to see!"

"You know what capitalism on a minor scale looks like, babe. Or are you that removed from the common folk that all of this is foreign to you?" Onni held the door open for the others.

In their wake, Clara laughed at something.

"Aw, sparks," Kite murmured, grinning.

Roxy and Cai were halfway down the street to the taxi when the three of them exited the hotel.

"I'm going to grab snacks, actually," Onni said.

"She might really leave you behind." Oscar looked worried.

"Then I will have the whirlwind romance and meet you on Barra." Onni laughed, checking the road before running across.

The taxi had been moved to a carpark and was idling away, Roxy and Cai chatting with the driver.

Or rather; Cai was chatting with the driver. Roxy was checking her phone, glancing up every so often.

"Where's Onni?" She frowned. "Where's Clara?"

"Getting snacks. They won't be long." Kite grinned. "And Clara-"

"Was just paying for the drinks," Oscar said, cutting in. "She won't be long."

Kite laughed. "Yeah. That's all."

Roxy narrowed her eyes. "We'll leave without them."

"Even your sister? That's cold."

"Onni said they won't be long."

Their driver laughed. "Sorry about the unintended stop."

"All good," Kite said. "The break was nice. "I'd have asked for one, but I wasn't sure our planner would appreciate it."

Roxy rolled her eyes and got back into the taxi.

"Love you!" Kite called after her.

"If we start heading down the street, they can both jump in," Cai said.

"Alright." The driver laughed and got in.

He'd barely drawn out onto the main road before they saw Clara on the opposite pavement with a man beside her.

"Oh go get it!" Kite called out of the window.

The man laughed as Clara ducked her head and said something.

"The car's fixed, but you should still get his number!"

Roxy rolled her eyes and pulled ver back into the car.

The man shrugged and pulled his phone out.

"Oh my god," Oscar breathed.

Clara tapped her phone as she said something to him and gestured for him to pose for a selfie with her.

"Aw, you waited for me!" Onni pulled the door on the opposite side open and ducked in. "I'm so pro- where's Clara - ooh what is happening." They shuffled into the seat beside Oscar.

Clara grinned and stepped off the pavement, turning on her heel to wave to the man.

"Meet-cute of the century." Kite pushed the door open for her.

"Sorry, we can go now." Clara fell into the seat beside Roxy.

Kite waved enthusiastically to the man as they drove away. "Tell us everything."

"Thanks for your intervention," Clara said, dryly. "I almost wasn't going to ask."

"What can I say, I make for an excellent wingman." Kite shrugged.

"Kinda makes my story seem inconsequential," Onni said. "Please share with the group."

"Ok, sure, but." Clara grinned, clicking her seatbelt in. "Last leg, let's go. We've got this."

"Second last, surely," Onni said. "On account of the ferry."

"If you jinx us once more, I will throw you in a loch, Onni. Shut up. Please." Roxy had her eyes closed, two fingers pressed between her eyebrows.

Onni laughed. "Alright, alright."

"Proud of you for getting a pic now dish." Kite made grabby hands at Clara.

"You think people won't believe us without proof?"

"You and Kite? Not a chance. Cai? Absolutely."

"Hey!" Kite faked ver effrontery.

"No, she's right. I wouldn't." Onni shrugged.

"You aren't supposed to side with her against us," Kite muttered, still grinning. "It's going to fracture the team."

"And at the start of our team bonding trip, too. How awkward."

"So what was your story, Onni?" Clara asked.

"Hey, no, you first." Kite slapped a hand over Onni's mouth. "Please."

"There's not much to say." Clara shrugged. "Bumped into him leaving the hotel."

"Like full tripped into his arms style bump? Is he from here? Do we have back up for-"

Roxy cleared her throat.

"If anything else happens?" Kite smiled innocently at Roxy.

Cai laughed softly, replying to a text.

"No helicopter. First thing I checked. He's on holiday too." Clara's phone buzzed and she smiled as she checked it.

"Ah, young love." Kite sighed and then laughed.

"Onni, what was your thing?"

"Oh, well, I just - y'know, met the local laird." Onni shrugged, opening their shopping bag. "Anyone want snacks?"

"What?"

"Yeah, I have a decent selection-"

"You met who?"

"Do you have a picture?"

Onni laughed. "No, I respect his privacy too much. Man's got enough going on."

Cai rolled her eyes, hiding a faint smile.

"So which one us is supposed to have foresight again?"

"I'm just very lucky." Onni leant back. "I don't think he would have been anyone's type, though."

"Oh?"

"Old. Still had a ring on his finger."

Kite wrinkled vis nose. "Listen." Ve cackled. "If it gets us a helicopter-"

"We appreciate your sacrifice." Clara patted vis knee.

"I don't think either of us did this properly, though. I mean, we're still in this taxi. No offence."

The driver laughed, muffled over the intercom.

"That's a bad thing?" Roxy raised her eyebrows.

"Not since this is working out for us." Onni offered her a small bar of chocolate. "C'mon, we're going to make it."

"Yeah." Roxy took the bar, relaxing. "Thanks."

"So are you actually going to keep in contact with your laird?" Kite asked, waggling vis eyebrows at Clara.

"I think I'm due a whirlwind summer romance, right?" Clara's eyes were on her phone but she stretched out her free hand, palm up to make grabby gestures at Onni.

"Sure." Kite pulled out vis phone. "Hey, what's his name?"

"Absolutely not."

"I can work with that." Ve grinned. "Oh, boo, no signal." Ve pouted at ver phone.

"Serves you right."

Kite shrugged and leant back, rolling ver head onto Oscar's shoulder. "Fine. Wake me when we get to Oban."

Oscar shifted his shoulder, careful not to dislodge Kite, and patted ver head.

"So wouldn't it be funny-"

"No." Roxy threw her empty wrapper at Onni. "Don't."

They laughed and let it drop.

The drive was smooth along more winding roads, between forested mountains and by the sides of lochs that spilled down the glens until one last turn took them past fields and into a town bigger than anything since they'd gone by Stirling.

"Is this it?" Clara asked, pressing up against the window. "Did we make it?"

The bay spread out before them under the bright midday sun, water almost as blue as the sky. There was a spit of an island blocking the view right out to sea, but it was there.

"I think so." Oscar twisted to see over his shoulder, through the front.

"I'll drop you at the railway station, is that alright?" Their driver asked.

"Sure is," Onni said, reaching across Oscar to poke at Kite. "Hey, Sleeping Beauty, we made it."

Roxy pulled out her phone to check the time and sighed in relief. "Alright."

"Did we win?" Kite asked.

"With an hour or so to spare, I think?" Cai said. "We can get something more to eat before the ferry."

"Yes oh my god what an excellent idea."

Their driver stopped outside the train station. "Here we are."

"Thanks, man, you've been amazing." Onni tapped their knuckles against the glass.

"Yeah, d'you want to come for a coffee with us?" Kite asked. "Our treat."

Their laughed as he opened the door for them on his way to the boot.

"You're not going to head straight back, are you?"

"I'll have a wee break. Get something to eat, maybe."

"Get real leisurely about it." Onni swung their bag onto their back and staggered under the weight.

"One hell of a day out," Cai said.

"One hell of a work day, more to the point," Oscar said.

"Aye." The taxi driver waited for them to have all their bags out of the car before he closed the boot. "Enjoy the rest of your holiday."

"Safe trip back to Edinburgh," Oscar replied, stepping back to wave as he drove off.

"Now," Clara said, "someone mentioned coffee?"

"There's a Costa just there." Cai nodded to it.

"For shame, Cai, we supposed the small businesses." Onni shook their head at her. "Come on. Across there looks good." They pointed across the gentle curve of the bay to a seating area in front of some store fronts.

"Sure. Can we see if we can drop our bags at the terminal?" Kite asked. "It's kinda heavy."

Onni blinked at ver. "Skill issue," they said, and set off along the path.

Kite groaned and followed after them. "You're the worst."

"It's character building."

"Hey, Clara?"

Clara frowned as she turned about. "Hi? Oh, shit, hi!"

A man stood at the side of the road, sunglasses on and shirtsleeves rolled up to his elbows over jeans and black shoes. "Glad I found you." He smiled. "Had to make sure you made it."

"Yeah, I uh - I appreciate that."

Kite swivelled on ver heel. "Is this your laird?"

"This is Luke." Clara pushed Kite away as ve leant over her shoulder. "Roxy, Kite, Cai, Oscar, Onni."

"Laird?" Luke laughed, sounding the word out like he wasn't sure he'd get it right.

"Just a dumb joke." Clara shook her head.

"We can explain over coffee." Kite grinned. "C'mon."

Luke glanced at Clara, who shrugged and beckoned for him to follow.

"If you don't have anything better going."

"They'll understand if I'm late."

Clara giggled. "I can believe you came through to Oban."

"Well, I was concerned for your trip, and since I don't have a helicopter on hand, this was the best I could do."

"Maybe we should have left Clara to make her own way, hm?" Kite nudged Roxy. "It would have worked out and we'd get a car chase out of it."

"Yeah, sure. That… might have been fun." Roxy smiled faintly.

"See?" Kite grinned. "Everything worked out fine! We're getting our holiday! You and Cai can relax!"

Roxy snorted. "Alright, fine! Point made. I will relax."

"Excellent." Kite grinned. "After all, what else could possibly go wrong?"